I’ve only been a parent for 913 days, but I’ve had my fair share of moments that leave me thinking, “Yep, I’m a dad.”

And I happen to be ever so confident that these experiences are not unique, so be sure to add yours to the list in the comments below—but here’s some of my highlights.

Yep-I’m-a-dad-moments

• When you take them to the men’s room to find that every toilet seat has undergone some sort of sprinkle baptism by the previous patron. Now you get to clean the seat while holding that 35lb animated sandbag because God knows what they’ll touch if you put them down. (C’mon guys — lift the seat! I know you’re single and it doesn’t make sense now, but your later-self will love you for performing this considerate ritual).
• When you find yourself in the ER (for the third time in what seems way too short a timespan) because “you’re just not sure if the whooping cough has got to the lungs” or “they probably don’t have a concussion but you gotta play it safe” — and of course all these judgment calls climaxed and required immediate resolution at 10pm (so at least you’ll be home by 1am with an A.O.K.).
• When you wake up—wet—because you fell asleep putting your kid down who has now blessed you with the chance to do some routine chores like changing the sheets, starting a load, and taking them to finish what they started to finally put them down again… and oh yeah, don’t forget to wipe your (now dry) self down with a wet wipe—cause let’s be honest, you didn’t get that wet.
• When you find yourself busting a lung during the middle of the night as you extract mucous from your kid’s nose (brain?) with an instrument affectionately referred to by parents across the globe as, The Snot-Sucker—and all of this done with the dreaded foresight that you’ve got to clean the thing after using it (cause you’re gonna have to do it again in about an hour).
• When your kid wakes up screaming and you hold them, consoling them of their nightmare, only to find your stomach suddenly warmed by what you should’ve guessed had woken them. #rookiemistake

I’m sure there’s others but these tend to stand out slash be recurring moments in my own life. :/ They are countered—and wondrously, I might add—by the bear hugs, cute giggles and of course dynamite expressions like “You da best eva day’d.”

Now it’s your turn! Go on, share your moments and spread the smiles!

Aside from being an information junky—and don’t fall back from this bolt of insight—my gut is that it’s because you want to. That’s why I read, and it’s also why I write.

I l-o-v-e to write. I love the process of pulling ideas out of my head and thinking about how the reader — you — will process them. How they’ll make you feel. What they’ll make you think.

It’s a beautiful thing to have a captive audience and to build a world inside their head — one word at a time.* The trouble, of course, is captivating an audience. If 100 people read this post, 1,000 stopped at the headline.

If 100 people read this post, 1,000 stopped at the headline.

What’s that tell you?

Well, besides being depressing for writers and a telltale sign that we have terribly short attention-spans, it tells me something else: I better spend a lot of time on those first few words, if I want the rest of them to go from this page to someplace else, like your head. I can sleep on them. Anoint them with oil. Wax on and wax off. Whatever the tactic—and there are plenty!—I mustn’t underestimate the impact of the headline.

You’ve heard the old saying, Content is king. But this is only half the story: Content is king if the kingdom is listening.

But who has the time to dream up such wonderful headlines?

It should already be clear that this is the wrong question to be asking. The rate at which we consume and create information is dizzying. It’s a modern marvel more people aren’t walking off piers or running into bears while maintaining their daily digest of content.

It actually makes me laugh thinking about what you might be doing to read this. Maybe it betrays the absurd situations I put myself in, all to stay on top of my literary diet — but I doubt it. O the places we go to conquest new content:

• half-asleep or just waking up
• putting food in or passing it out
• waiting in line or watching a show
• at a read light—or a green one
• reading under the covers so you don’t wake-up your two-year old that’s almost asleep enough for you to sneak out of the room

Sure we’re sloppy at times and don’t feed on the most nutritious of sources. A steady digest of FB-scrolling is good for no one (especially your twitching thumb), and when Netflix asks, “are you still watching”, you know it was bedtime four episodes ago.

But who’s on top of their game all the time? In this digital deluge I find myself trying to catch my breath instead of gargling new content.

And maybe that’s what we should be doing. Catching our breath. Taking a break. Opening the door to silence as we put the screen to sleep.

Like me, you may feel that you need more time to do what you desperately want. But before we can really frame this as a need we should take the time to answer this penetrating question:

“What are you willing to give up to have what you really want?”

Is an hour of extra sleep worth it? Is your first, second, third, or seventh favorite TV show worth it? There’s only one person that can decide…

The end. (You may now turn off your screen)

*Back up there in the fourth paragraph, I fibbed. Writers don’t build worlds one word at a time — they do it with phrases. Our brains are way too fast to minecraft a world a word at a time. We constantly anticipate what another person is trying to tell us (be honest, how often do you try to complete your friend’s sentence — if not out loud, in your own head?). I didn’t want to get into this up there, but that’s the gospel (er, linguistic) truth. Up in the body I prized poetry over precision — but I couldn’t help from clearing that up somewhere.

Does everyone who sits down to write feel this warm calling? If only. More often the empty screen taunts us. It reminds us of the empty void inside our heads. And if anything, the thought of landing the first letter feels more like marring a mysterious masterpiece than painting one.

Oh the games we play in our minds.

When we were younger I’m sure we were more brazen with playful confidence. A blank page was an invitation for the colors of the rainbow to be scribbled across it. And if the page came with lines already on it, these sure as hell weren’t taken as boundaries to separate the colors (that is, until our teachers told us so).

Do you know the difference between our younger years and the present? Between our excitement with a blank page and our paralyzing fear of it?

Failure. The thought that we could fail.

When we were younger—in our creative prime—the thought of failure was as remote as the next galaxy. Play was pulsing at the forefront of our minds. The center of our mental universe. We weren’t afraid of “getting it wrong”; we were intent on releasing our inner-artist (though we didn’t know it at the time).

So before moving onto a solution, let’s get a couple things straight:

• Failure is inescapable.
• And trying less won’t make it happen less.

So how do we get back to writing for the joy of it? How do get back to seeing a blank canvas as an invitation to decorate it with our words?

It must start with writing for yourself. Write because you want to—not please a hundred or even thousand others. Not everyone is going to like your style, must less be interested in your content. And most people won’t make time to read it. So do yourself a favor: become a kid again and do it for yourself.

I’m convinced this is the first step to really being drawn to the blank stare of a white screen, again.

Let me know how it goes for you.

Yes, the day you’ve been waiting for all year is finally here: National Hammock Day! Possibly my favorite day of the year. I’m what some call a hammock enthusiast. Wherever I go, a hammock usually follows. In fact, one of my favorite ways to unwind is laying in a hammock and listening to a podcast.

Interestingly, I’ve found that relaxing in a hammock is something everyone enjoys in theory, but only a few in practice.

Why is this so? After giving it some thought, I’ve come up with three reasons people don’t find themselves hanging in a hammock more often.

1. Too hard to setup
2. Don’t know what kind to get
3. Afraid of falling out

I want to look at each of these and show you why there’s no reason to let these concerns prevent you from becoming a hammock enthusiast. So in honor of National Hammock Day, let’s get into it!

1. Too tricky to set up!

Hammocks have been around for a good while, and thankfully have only become more popular. (There’s been at least six new hammocks pitched on Kickstarter in the last two years!). This means they’ve gotten much easier to set up and take down. So instead of fancy knots and long rope, now all you really need are a pair of tree straps with daisy chain loops, like this:

With these straps, all you do is feed one end through another loop and tighten around your anchor point (a tree, most likely); then, just snap a carabiner through the loop. No knots required.

Eno and Kammok make some excellent straps for about $30. Personally, I prefer Kammok’s: they’re longer (10 ft instead of 9 ft), hold more weight (500 lb instead of 400 lb), the loops don’t catch on other loops when you’re pulling it through, and they’re easier to stuff in the sack they come in (Eno’s requires them to be folded up) — o yeah, and they have reflective stitching so you don’t clothesline yourself at night. It’s a no-brainer to me.

While this setup can be executed almost anywhere, there are some limitations. What if there’s no tall sturdy objects around? Well, there are ways around that too, but my favorite is the Handy Hammock Stand. This hammock requires no trees, just wide open space. It can be set up on a beach, a mountainside, or your treeless backyard. And the whole setup is only $99 (and weighs just over 3 lbs!).

With that said, you can see there’s really no reason you can’t hang your hammock anywhere, even if there’s nothing to hang it on.

Just last week I was on the Oregon coast for a wedding and had the chance to string up my hammock on the beach. That’s why I never leave home without it. You never know where you’ll find yourself, wishing you could be swaying in the wind.

2. Which hammock do I pick?

This question — like many — depends on the person asking. But among all the different types of hammocks out there, they basically come down to two types: 1) camping, and 2) leisure. The former can be a little hairy to get into, so I’ll just give you some tips on the latter. It’s the leisure hammocks anyway that everyone enjoys — backpackers and enthusiasts, alike.

• Pick your size. Hammocks generally come in two sizes: those that hold one person and those that hold two. Most people opt for a double because you never know when a friend will want to join (or that special person will want to snuggle up beside you). :) But even if there’s no one around to join you, who’s going to complain about a little extra space?
• Choose your hanging style. Do you want a hammock chair or recliner? Do you want to be wrapped up by the hammock walls or have an open view? Can’t decide? Lucky for you, the standard hammock allows for any of these options and is probably why it’s the most popular. (In the first 50 seconds of this video you’ll see 5 different ways to sit in a hammock).

• Decide on a color. What are your favorite colors of the rainbow? There’s so many to choose from — especially with brands like Eno (though Kammok has some really vibrant options too). In any case, you’re bound to find a color scheme that screams your favorite hues.

Beyond these factors, there’s really not much else to consider. Just like hanging in a hammock, there’s nothing too complicated about picking one out. Just decide on the size of your company, how you want to lay, and the colors you want wrapped around you.

3. The fear of falling out

Once you find your hammock you might find that you’re a little afraid to get into it. Don’t feel bad. That’s understandable. We’ve all seen enough home videos of people being ejected from a hammock.

Now what you must keep in mind, is that it’s actually quite hard to fall out of a hammock if you’ve set it up right. Here’s a few tips that should keep your feet in the air and head off the ground.

• Make sure there’s a good sag in the hammock. Remember, it’s a hammock not a tightrope. Don’t set it up so tight that the hammock walls are sealed together. If you want to get technical, you want about a 30º hang.
• Make sure you’re feet can touch the ground. You can get a little more adventurous later, but for starting out, don’t hang the hammock so high that you’re feet can’t touch the ground when you first sit down in it. This will allow you to enter and exit the hammock more safely, as one part of your body will always be able to touch a fixed anchor point if necessary.
• Opt for the diagonal lay. Many people try to lay in a hammock lengthways, assuming this is the best way since it matches the natural shape of the body. But if you do this, the hammock swallows you whole and you can’t see out. Similarly, others just walk up to the hammock and sit down perpendicular to it. But this is an easy way to fall out the back. Laying diagonal is the safest and most comfortable route as it provides you with the flattest lay (this is Option #4 “Brazilian Style” in the How to use your Kammok video above).
• Smooth out a landing zone for your rear-end. Don’t just plop down into your hammock. Your hands should be the first thing that touch your hammock, followed by your tush. (Leading with your feet is a bad idea, as you learned from the home videos above). Make sure you’re bum is going down in the center of the hammock. This is probably the most common reason people fall out of hammocks: they sit too far back into them. Ensuring a good landing zone is the difference between relaxation and regret.

Now that I’ve dealt with the three most common excuses of not getting in a hammock, I hope you’ll see there’s no reason you shouldn’t get out and celebrate National Hammock Day in one! But preferably, not like these guys…

***

I write for a leading digital software company and enjoy taking complex issues and putting them simply. When I’m not writing, I’m probably laying in a hammock, or wishing I was in one. Although sometimes, I find a way to do both.

Follow me on Twitter @KristopherLyle or read more of my casual writing on LinkedIn or my blog.