Since celebrities are often portrayed as something perfect and unattainable, there are articles which try to humanize them to make “the rest of us” feel better. The same pictures are used to pursue both negative and positive reactions, yet the outcome is always the same.

It doesn’t matter weather the headline is “Miranda has cellulite too” or “Look at this brave mother in a bikini”, when the reader’s reaction is always the same. Comparison.

No matter how plus-size, or full of stretch marks the person in the pictures is, if the goal is to try make women feel better about themselves by looking at someone else's body; it won’t help anyone in the long run. It’s a completely distorted way to build a good selfesteem, and most importantly; it won’t work.

A much more effective way to help women improve their body image is to talk and write about terms like respect, purpose, mindfulness and confidence.

There is no picture that will ever make anyone feel better about themselves in a healthy way. Because comparing yourself to someone else is never healthy.

The only thing we should be looking at is a mirror.

Your listicles are bullshit to us

#RiseAndShine is trending on Instagram every Saturday. We read about healthy morning habits, and try to inherit those into our own routine the best way possible. Vloggers make videos on Youtube showing us how they spend the first few hours of their day, and viewers pick on small things thinking they’ll make a difference. Monday morning is a term in itself, and we just love to joke about it. Children know from a very young age, that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Needless to say, mornings play a huge part in our life.

No matter what we actually do in the morning, we all know what we should. Atleast most of us do. We just like things easy, and breakfast is easy to forget. So when someone tells us they can make our mornings easier, or smoother, we listen carefully. And when we run into an listicle about “Ways to improve your morning routine”, we click to open. We click on them just to realize it’s all about creating new habits, and we click away because we know we’re too lazy.

Then there’s the other reason some of us click away. See, some of us know that because our job starts at 6AM, these listicles are not made for us. We work at a store, nursing home, factory or construction site. We need to be in our uniforms at 6AM sharp, and we start working asap. So our mornings are not about increasing health, motivation or efficiency. We don’t have the time to meditate, read a book or go for a hike in the morning. We wake up at 4:45, blindly go make some coffee, start dressing up and take the dog out. That’s all we have time for. Then we walk to our car, and start driving to work. Or take the buss. Yep, the buss, not an uber.

Our mornings are about surviving. Our mornings are about deciding what we can do in 30–45 minutes, and leaving out the rest. We work for someone else, and we don’t wear a suit while doing it. The 10 things every billionare does in the morning, are the first things we leave out. Sometimes including brushing our teeth (Because we promise ourself we’ll do it in the afternoon).

Sometime ago a friend of mine talked about how she thinks everyone should try to look their best everyday. You know, first impressions and stuff. Even though I’d have time to put on makeup, dress up and select the perfect jewelry; I can’t. Nurses aren’t allowed to have even perfume at my job. And how does dressing up help me when I need to change in to my uniform the second I get to work?

From Monday to Friday, my mornings are simply not Instagram -material. But because I work for someone else, does that mean I have to give up my mornings as well? I could always wake up earlier, but how early would that be; 3AM? I bet that wouldn’t be healthy either. I know I’d be a better employee if I could have more time in the mornings. Maybe even a happier person. I wouldn’t become a billionaire, but maybe more balanced.

So to you, the writer of those listicles, stop pretending like perfect mornings are just an attitude change away from all of us. Wake up to the real world, please. I believe in positive energy, but #PositiveThinking doesn’t change the position most of us are at.

I’d like to make afternoons the new mornings. Dinner the new breakfast. #AfterWork the new #RiseAndShine. 4PM routine the new morning routine. Start making listicles about that and I’ll salute you.

As Free-To-Play is here to stay, and even popping it’s head on other than mobile markets, we need to be realistic about the future of mobile games. As users are more and more reluctant to pay the full price for a game, and free of charge is now something considered self-evident; we need to discuss about the affects it is having on bringing out quality content.

Users feel like there’s so much content to choose from, and so many bad seeds among great ones, that it’s too much of a risk to pay a full price for a game that might let them down. Users are being more and more picky on what’s worth their pennies, and for various reasons they have a right to do so.

In the meantime developers are pushed to the edge. Putting an price tag on a project you put your time, effort and heart in to might define the future of your success. And putting an price tag that would actually be reasonable will in most cases mean there won’t be any success at all. So developers are forced to take a risk and either underestimate the value of their product, or use a model that is not pleasant for either the user or the developer; free-to-play.

Users are now getting something for free, but to get most out of the experience they’re once again being forced to make the decision weather to pay or not. On worst cases; to make the game even a tiny bit enjoyable you must pay something every here and there. In the meantime developers are still on the edge, facing the difficulty of how to make a game that is both free and profitable. Sounds like an crazy equation.

“Netflix for games”

So what if we could have an service that would enable an enjoyable user-experience, and give the developers the possibility to focus on making great games without playing around the free / paid -features?

Introducing; Gamefix (How deeply imaginative and fantastic name we have there) where users would pay for an monthly membership and be able to play the games they please, and the developers would be paid accordingly. It could also raise the standard of games, since instead of competing with pricing, the real value would be in the content.

Netflix has completely changed the way we watch TV, in good and bad, and with over 60 million users it is now putting out on-demand content aswell as creating originals. There has been debate about the negative effects it is having on the industry it’s stumbling on, but progress is happening and the service is revolving all the time. And since the model can’t just be turned in to an “Netflix for games” (Or Gamefix as we just established), changes will have to be made anyway for the subscription-model to work in the mobile world.

This idea isn’t new at all, infact it goes surprisingly far with attempts like OnLive and Sony’s Playstation Now. Yet no one has quite succeeded, and I don’t believe it’s because the model is unworkable. It’s because the average gamer needs to be informed, and the better model must be presented as something taking away the biggest frustrations everyone has had with “Free-to-play -games”. I think when it comes to mobile games, it wouldn’t actually have to be a streaming -service at all. (What, didn’t you just say this was the Netflix- model?) How about we just create an platform, users would buy monthly subscriptions, and download the games they please? Would that make any sense?

As Free-to-play is becoming a standard in the market, but at the same time a curse word to many of us, better solutions will eventually come. We will most likely never go back to the old way, and luckily there’s other industries fighting with similar issues as well.

So let’s just shamelessly steal their ideas.

I would’ve been here years ago

My career in technology began with playing video games when I was a girl. The power of creating, fascinating world of information, and an strange way of understanding it, got me hooked on tech. I would spend hours staring at the screen, clicking, browsing and typing. The amusement I got from the games that were simple, ugly, yet somehow so wonderful, was something I found hard to get elsewhere.

I would write stories, wander around the internet, play games and search for new ones every day. I would try to explain it to my parents, yet they wouldn’t quite understand. But they never stopped me. They were sure I was getting something valuable out of it. They were amazed of the skills I had, with an machine they hardly knew how to use. They encouraged me by giving me the privilege to spend time on the computer as much as I pleased, meanwhile other parents were worried about the “affects it would have to our next generation”.

I loved computers. Computers that were seen as a boyish thing. Video games were seen as “boys entertainment”. Since computers are machines, they weren’t seen as suitable for girls, like dolls. I grew to love computers, something that other girls didn’t do. I learned to do things with computer that adults in my life couldn’t do. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I really liked it.

Ten years later, I was still playing games. I was still using computers, and so was everyone else. Yet I had the skills to go further than them. I was interested about the things happening “behind the scenes”, and spent my free-time getting to know inventions and inventors.

By this time I had other interests too. I had been playing the violin for ten years, I was acting at a local theatre and loved painting with my father. I loved creating and using my imagination, no matter how I expressed my creativity. I, like my peers, was struggling to figure out what I wanted to study. What I wanted to become, and what would be my profession.

As a result of a lot of thinking and feeling pressured at times, I decided . I decided I would become a nurse and attended nursing school. It felt like a good fit, since I was drawn to caring for people. It felt appropriate, since I was a young woman. It felt exciting, since I was fascinated by psychology.

Five years later, I was a nurse. I wasn’t playing games. I wasn’t writing. I couldn’t afford an computer, and I had stopped playing the violin. I hardly ever saw my father, nor did I paint with him. I was working my ass off, 10–12 hour shifts, making money to live on my own. I liked my job — but it wasn’t giving me a life that I wanted. In fact, I found that I hated my life, a life that I had chosen.

Studying to become and then working as nurse, taught me more things than I expected. The value of work, and the value of the capability to work. The value of life, and the value of living. It made me a humble, brave and a strong person, but it also made me numb.

I kept wondering, how did I end up with this life. I used to have so many dreams, and to be honest, being a nurse wasn’t one of them. By the end of a 12- hour shift I wouldn’t have the energy to question my choices, so I kept going. Until I found myself unemployed. I had all the time in the world to realize I was going in the wrong direction. I was throwing away the talents I had, and the talents I loved. I was a great nurse, yet I could be even greater in an other career.

So I started to study programming. I realized that as an independent developer I could combine all the bigger things I dreamt about, with the smaller things I was already talented in. I had the time and energy to learn something new, and I loved it. I saw endless possibilities, and endless number of paths to choose from. And I wasn’t afraid to share my feelings. I told people how I was suddenly as thrilled about computers as I was 15 years ago. I found that I wasn’t living a life that I hated anymore. I was happy and excited. That’s when one of my friends said;

“If you we’re a boy you would’ve never gone to nursing school and choose a wrong career. You could already be a pro.”

Her words hurt. Her words made me frustrated, and worst of all; she was right. If I was a boy, I would’ve never gone to nursing school. I know gender roles kicked in when I was making a giant decision as a 16 -year old. I know I would’ve never stopped playing around with computers, if other girls hadn’t made fun of me. It feels even worse when I know that there are other girls like me. Girls who choose the obvious, and safe decision instead of following their dreams and interests.

Yet still, I wouldn’t change my past for anything. Being a nurse is a part of me, and will always be. It taught me to be hardworking, determined, talented with people, and emotionally strong. Without all the people I’ve met throughout my nursing career, I would’ve missed too many inspiring stories, and too many sad destinies. My time as a nurse has made me stronger and more resilient. I would be a lot more vulnerable when being criticized, or hurt.

Most importantly; if I hadn’t been a nurse, I wouldn’t have the experience and understanding to know what kind of apps to build to help their work. I would have no clue about their potential as a niche market. I wouldn’t know how to help hardworking nurses in their daily tasks, yet alone how important that is.

So my answer to my friend is yes. You’re right. Absolutely, 100% correct. And it saddens me, but not for myself. For other young girls, and for other women. And now that I see that my friend is right — that my path to becoming a developer happened the way it is because I am a girl, I’ll put a new task to my to-do-list:

Pave the way for young girls like I once was.

If you like this post, don’t forget to recommend and share it. Check out more great articles at Code Like A Girl.

I wouldn’t be here if I was a boy was originally published in Code Like A Girl on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

That made me a creative person

I was afraid. I had been seeing nightmares for two nights in a row, and I didn’t want to go to bed. I was afraid of ghosts. My father sat next to me, and said “But why are you afraid of ghosts, they want no harm to you.”

I was 6 years old when this happened, and I remember that specific moment so well. I remember the way he looked at me- and how I believed him. He was so calm, and comforting. I remember how I, from that day on, always kept in mind that if I ever saw a ghost I shouldn’t be scared.

My father didn’t tell me something that a lot of other parents would’ve said;

“Ghost’s do not exist”

He didn’t say that, because he didn’t want me to stop imagining. He wanted to change the mindset I had, and turn my fears in to strengths. Instead of denying the existance of ghosts, elves, fairies and other magical creatures, he always encouraged me and my imagination. He challenged me to see the good in bad, instead of going blind.

I loved making theories when I was young. I would come up with explanations to little things in life, such as why animals can’t talk or what’s the reason behind tinnitus. I didn’t need toys to have fun, I was born in the 90’s yet I was completely comfortable playing with rocks & sticks. My father would never stop or interrupt me. He would always listen to my stories and theories, and actually, he’s the one who eventually told me to write them down.

I wanted to be an actress at some point in my life. I would dream of moving to New York and just, you know, “become an actress”. I remember once, when I was talking with my father in our car, that he would tell me “No, no, no. You would first do some studying, learn from the best, get to know the right people, live in a small, nasty apartment and most likely live in poverty. Then through mistakes and success, you’ll slowly get to where you want. And the road to success is the best part of the journey.”

Of course me, as a 12-year old, got a bit annoyed about the idea of having to work to get somewhere. As if talent wasn’t enough. But now, years later, I understand exactly what my father meant, and I’ve come to realize how wonderfully he taught me the value of work, and the appreciation of “the journey”.

My father is a painter, musician and an artist. Most of all; a teacher. I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated the way he raised and educated me, as much as I do now. Now that I’m in a situation, where I really need to work hard to get where I want. In a situation where I need that capability to be creative, and create. Make mistakes to succeed.

It makes me happy to know, that besides me and my sister, he has shared his wisdoms to hundreds, maybe thousands, of other children, through teaching at a middle school. He is truly an inspiration when it comes to being courageous, spontaneous and hard working. Keeping the eye on the ball, but never underestimating the value of now. The value of the place you’re currently at.

And to never forget the importance of creativity, and the power of dreaming.

When I was 18, I had just graduated from nursing school, but I wanted to study some more. I had dreams of becoming a community educator, psychiatric nurse, social worker, care manager… I was lost with what I wanted to do, but I was sure I was on the right path. I had a hard time dealing with the fact I didn’t know what I wanted to “become”, and all I wanted was to time-travel a few years ahead.

“By then, I would have it all figured out and I could start living”.

This idea of “Then I’ll start living” is something I’ve been holding up to my entire life. Basically I’m telling myself; “I wont enjoy this part of my life, because I believe that in the future life will be more enjoyable”. I don’t know who to blame, but this has been my mindset as long as I can remember.

“Two more days until Friday”

“In 3 years I’ll have an occupation”

“When I’m 18 I’ll get to do so much stuff”

“When I’m 20 I’ll get to do even more”

“When I’m 30 I’ll have it all figured out”

When I was 19 I realized that maybe working as a nurse wasn’t my thing after all. I was more interested in the programs we used to document medical reports than writing them. The system had made me physically and emotionally tired, and convinced me to believe that I shouldn’t aspire for anything more; since I already had an occupation. Not so much later, I made a big decision, started to study programming independently, and dreamt about getting accepted in to an engineering school.

For a very momentary and short period in my life I knew I was supposed to stop dreaming and start doing. Or at least balance between those two. After some time I found myself wishing for time to pass again.

“I wish I already knew how to code”

“I wish I was already in school”

“I wish I could stop working as a nurse”

“I wish I already had some friends with the same interests”

There is nothing wrong with dreaming, wishing and wanting. Until they start to control your making.

I would constantly find myself blaming the current moment, and situation, for me not doing. I’d tell myself;

“Well I’d be more eager to study if I didn’t have to do it all by myself”

“If I didn’t have to spend 8 hours/day as a nurse, I would have more room in my brain to internalize all this new information”

“I’m not learning today because I don’t feel motivated enough. (Hence I’ll watch motivational tv-shows”

Instead of admitting that life can be difficult at times, but I’m the only one who can change it, I was making excuses for not really doing anything. I could dream about my better future all day, and at the same time prevent myself from actually doing something for it.

I keep forgetting that if I wont enjoy my life until this, that and those things happen; I might as well give up now. There will always be something to expect, something to dream about. “Something coming”.

As a young person it’s easy to think that when I’m older I’ll have the answer to everything. It’s hard to see the consequences of my decisions in a bigger picture because I’ve only been alive for 20+ years.

As a young person, with a lot of dreams, it’s easy to see the present as just a “phase” that we all have to go through to get to the real life. Like an average appetizer before the amazing main course.

Yet if I go ask my mom what would she do if she could go back in time — she would tell me she’d go back to her twenties.

There has to be some magic in these years I’m living, and I’ve just figured out what I want to do with my life. I’m about to take a giant leap professionally, and there’s a lot going on in my life beyond that.

So why would I want to skip the present moment? Why would I want to skip the appetizer? I honestly don’t know.

I’m just hoping I’ll quickly learn that this moment right here, is not a part of some beta test waiting for the next phase. My release date is way in the past, so to say, and I should enjoy whatever it is that I’m going through right now.

“You’re only 20 once” is starting to have a meaning for me. And it’s good.

My mother is a nutritionist, so she took care that I still had a diverse nutritional intake. I read a ton of material about plant based diet, and eventually decided to “go vegan”.

I haven’t been 100% successful with that. Even though my home is now vegan, if I’ve come across with a situation where I’ve been forced to make a choice to a) eat something with milk or dairy in it, b) not eat at all, I’ve sometimes made the choice to just put my “diet aside”. I guess I’m not strong enough. Maybe I should do what othet vegans are telling me to do, and think about the horrible images of animals being tortured for human concumption. But it’s not really something you’d like to think of, especially not several times a day.

After being vegetarian for 5 months, and a almost-real-vegan for two months;

Why do I feel like shit?

I’m tired, in pain, annoyed, sometimes hungry throughout the day, non-glowing and uncomfortable with myself.

Before going vegan all I could hear was people telling how good they felt, how they had so much more energy, how their hair/skin/nails started to glow. How pleased they were with their choice.

I felt that too. For the first few months after not eating meat. I was surprised how after eating a giant meal I wouldn’t get tired; quite the opposite actually. Food was giving me energy for the first time in my life. I remember how proud I was, for not eating meat, and I had made the big choice to be a vegan who can laugh at herself. I remember how I slept better, ate better and exercised more.

After 5 months, all that is kind of — forgotten. Yes I’m a vegan, but now it’s more like a part of me, instead of me trying to be a part of “it”.

I get tired. I get hungry. I’m annoyed. I definitely don’t glow at the moment. I’m not really sleeping well because I have pain in my neck / back.

I’m a human. Unfortunately being a vegan does not automatically remove all the issues in your life. Unfortunately it doesn’t give you superpowers. If it did, I bet a lot more people would actually be vegan.

It is true that a plant based diet makes you feel light. And starting some new “life changing project” makes a person easily seem perky and glowing. That’s probably why so many people, soon after going vegetarian / vegan, feel the need to express how GREAT they feel.

For some, being on a plant based diet, helps them with big issues; loosing weight, digestion, diabetes, cholesterol…

But I had none of those things in the first place. I was a young, healthy and slim girl. I’m still a young, healthy and slim girl, and that’s what I think people easily forget. “Going vegan” doesn’t make you a different person (Though some might argue this). You’re still You, I’m still Me.

No wonder I feel like shit; I’m the exact same person I was 6 months ago. I’m lazy, always waiting for the quick-fix in my life, and I like to complain about stuff. Veganism was something that took my mind elsewhere for sometime, but brought be right back to this moment where I’m thinking; “What’s the point? Why do I make life so fucking hard for myself?”

And that’s how people start eating meat again. They notice how “nothing changed” and slowly they’ll just… Forget about all this.

But I’m going to start over. I’ll read about it, I’ll think about it, I’ll make the decision “again”. I’ll go vegan again, but this time not expecting it to change me. By being a vegan I’m making a tiny change in the world, an that’s it.

Nothing more.

I’ve joined Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, and Medium. A majority of my friends / family can be found from additional Linkedin, Tumblr, Vine, Periscope, Google+ and Snapchat. I mainly use WhatsApp and Facebook messenger for communicating, but I still have Skype in my phone- “just in case”.

I start my mornings by going through my email, I read my daily Skimm and move on to see what’s going on in the world of social media. Quick scan through Facebook, then Instagram and finally Twitter. After that I read an article or two from Medium, and maybe at this point I’ll try to get out of bed to take my dog out.

Before I start doing anything serious with my day, I’ve already gone through a massive amount of information. Needless to say, not all of this information is important at all. Still throughout my day I’ll keep “checking” Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and not daily, but sometimes, Pinterest. I feel crazy writing down my social media -habits, even though I’m a person who isn’t even involved with the most recent ones. And I’ve decided not to, since I have enough to deal with already.

To see what’s going on with my friends I use Facebook. To follow some of my favorite people / companies around the world; I use Instagram. Twitter is a great tool for reading news, and Pinterest is something I only use when really bored, or in need of a DIY -guide.

I do feel overwhelmed sometimes. Lately, quite often actually. I have an app for all of my social “needs”, so why do I feel like I should download yet another one without really questioning it?

I don’t think people can keep up with the speed of new social media sites popping up everywhere. We use them for various reasons, but one of them, and for me the most important one, is to save your memories. And if I’m supposed to “start over” every year with a new network; what happens to the content I’ve been creating this entire time? Am I supposed to just let it go, or end up having a dozen of accounts to update?

Here are some thoughts I’ve heard when bringing this subject up;

A) No one is forcing you to be a part of social media.

First of all, it is my own choice to be involved with social media, I know that. I love the content that I’ve created, but even more the content by others that I get to access everyday via my phone. Being a part of a social media doesn’t mean that you never get to critizise it without someone saying; “Then just don’t use them”, because that is not a taking us anywhere. Most of us are a part of it, so why not be a part of the conversation too?

B) New platforms are not trying to replace the old ones, they’re trying to bring something new to the table.

I understand this idea, but it doesn’t change the fact that even though we’re touching our phones every two minutes we still have limited time per day to spend with social platforms. And since people are familiar with quite a few already; I just don’t think there is much space for others. Atleast not yet. And atleast not this similar to the ones we already have. Maybe something without the likes, followers and hashtags? Because even though the general idea might be different from other existing sites / apps; most of them still have a huge amount of identical features. And it’s getting quite boring.

Really boring actually.

So if you’ve been thinking, that you have a great idea for a new social media platform, something remarkable and fantastic, maybe just wait for a while. It would be sad to see yet another good idea go down because it’s just not the right time yet.

I’ll be happy to join your network in a year or two. Maybe.

When Sally was young her mother told her:

“You need to master atleast one recipe to survive in life. On other occasions; use a book.”

What Sally’s mother did not know, was that 20+ years later young, independent women wouldn’t need books, since they had phones, apps, tablets, phablets and other various beautiful things helping them out.

What Sally didn’t know, until very recently, was that she would master a lot more than one recipe. She would later in life invent something called “One of everything” that would help her out in various surprises she would face in her life.

See, Sally understood, that while she could gain respect in a man with her bravura lasagna; she could gain respect in a lot more people if she had a lot more bravuras. So, she made a list. A list of things she would get familiar with, and eventually master. The list started out as “10 things to master in life, to become the master of life”, but ended up being “100 things to master in life, to become the master of life”.

It took Sally almost 5 years to master so, so many things, and even though she was very, very proud of her list; she has never shown the list to anyone. Actually, I’m the only person she has ever honestly told about it.

“It would take away the magic if I’d reveal that it’s all planned.”

That’s true Sally. It would ruin the glory in her actions. Sally has also made a promise that the list is now complete. Maybe she’s afraid that as our world keeps rapidly evolving she would eventually find herself obsessively trying to master a new skill of some sort.

So what are these skills on her list? I don’t know, I’ve never seen the list. All I can do is describe Sally to you;

Sally can tell you the most random facts about animals. She’ll tell you how playful and great parents foxes are, she’ll mimic their sound and tell you where to buy them. Because, if you weren’t aware, you can buy a pet-fox. Sally can fix the weirdest things (with the weirdest equipment), and you shouldn’t play Tic Tac Toe with her, atleast not for money, because you’ll most likely lose. She knows a lot about plumbing. She knows how to speak 10 languages (Atleast so it seems). She can make a dress out of a t-shirt, tie your knot, sew denim, knit a sock and tie your shoe laces in a fun but super fast way.

She isn’t sporty, but she can present you a complex yoga pose, and knows how to do a layup. She has never been excellent in math, but she’ll help you out with long division. She can juggle, whistle with her fingers, and tell you the age of any tree by just looking at it. Last but not least; Sally doesn’t have a working stove, but she knows how to make a heavenly lasagna.

You might think these are useless skills. You might think this won’t impress anyone. Or maybe someone, in a bar. Drunk. When I was talking about this with Sally she told me that you’ll never know when these “useless” skills could save your life. I laughed. She then continued to explain; it’s not about continuously impressing people around her, or being the center of attention.

“It’s more like little things and actions that might amuse people for a while, but no matter how small the thing is, they’ll remember it. And when they actually need help in something; I’ll be the first to think of. You know, because I’m the handy-Sally. And that’s when I’ll really get to shine. When I’m helping people with real issues.”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and with a little bit of research at the bookstore here’s my conclusion: Self-help books can be divided in to 2 groups;

The step by step -guides

These are usually titled somewhat like this: “10 ways to become X”, “20 ways to become more X” or “7 things you need to do to….”

You get my point.

I belive that reading any book of this kind will give you results. Example; I once read a book about saving money. The book was horrible, and if I learned something it was that if a book has a cheesy cover you Can judge it by the look of it. But, cheesy or not, 5 years later, I’m still applying some of the things from the book in my daily ways of spending money. So lessons learned, and I think, if I would’ve been determined to follow every rule in the book, I would’ve been able to save the 10.000 the title promised me. Because why not? The book made me review the way I spent money in a entirely new way, and gave me guidance on how to save more money every day, month etc.

Same thing goes for any book about any diet. If you will follow the steps -> You’ll succeed. Maybe the book is about how to become more effective? 7 things effective people do? Yep, I guarantee you, if you follow the guidelines you’ll end up being more efficient.

Why are people so mad at these books then? Well, you guessed it; they’re not following the rules. They cheat. When the book isn’t around they’ll take a piece of a cake at the café or “forget” about the shopping budget they created last night. It’s not their fault it’s the BOOK! Right?

I don’t think people can plan everything ahead, and you might want to think if living according to strict rules and policies is even worth living?

You’ll run out of hours trying to become more thin, smart, confident…

So obviously while these books might teach you a thing or two; they won’t make you a millionare. On to the next category!

“Be more YOU” -books

The idea isn’t to give you step by step guidance. The idea isn’t to make you do a schedule for the week. The book might not even give you any rules at all. The point of these books is to give you motivation. To make you think. Propably you already had these things in mind since you bought the book, and you opened it. And you’re reading it. So the main point of the book might be giving you some courage or support that no one else in your life is giving you.

You make these books either good or bad.

That’s why the same book might change someones life and make another person feel nothing. Let’s go a bit deeper with this one;

Person 1: Problemsolver, self-motivated and efficient person. Has her CV always on point, is always looking for possibilities and dreams big. She feels like there’s something missing in her life so she (as a problem solver) walks in to a bookstore and buys a self-help book about revolutionizing her life. She goes home and reads the book in one session. She ends up feeling empowered, confident and notified about how she only has one lifetime. After two months she has a new job, apartment and she finally got rid of her abusive boyfriend.

Person 2: Someone who is always looking for the quick-fix for everything. Always making promises on NYE. She asks person1 how all of a sudden everything is going so well. Person1 then explains about the awakening she had and says it all started from a book. Person2 forgets everything person1 said after mensioning the book and ends up buying the book in hope for a better future. After reading it she says; “I don’t feel any different”. And that’s it.

These books might be someones story to success, but it’s not giving you success. It might give you the motivation to work harder, or the courage to take a risk in your life, but that’s it.

Summa summarum; the book “How to succeed in life?” is full of quotes and references to fantastic people/stories that together will make you feel brave enough to take the next step. This way, the book can be applied to any field in life; love life, work, education… It’ll work for all of them.

So self help -books are full of shhh…?

Might be. Some definitely are. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with spending 30min/day reading and evaluating your life. How many of us actually spends time thinking positive things about the future every day? How many of us is buying books anymore?

Having positive energy shows. No matter where the energy comes from. I could definitely live with the idea that a book would give me tiny bits of positive energy and hope every day. That’s all you can expect from a self-help book after all.

So if you’re going to buy one; know what to expect, and be sure to buy the right book from the right group for your needs!