I used to be really good with money. Like, I had a credit card but paid the balance off every month. I didn’t buy things I didn’t need. I just was, ya know, fiscally responsible without even really trying to be or thinking about it.

Then came a way-too-young marriage, divorce, incurred shared debt… followed shortly by a company shutdown/layoff… and, at some point, thru all the stress and tears, I thought FUCK IT.

…and then came the giltz, glimmer, and ease of online shopping… compounded by stress shopping, retail therapy, and that treat yo’self vibe. Long gone was the need to actually have the energy to get dressed, drive, roam the aisles… or even make sure the place was open! It’s ALWAYS open online! And roaming the aisles? You have alllll the aisles you could ever want to roam! huzzah!

Now - add social media the worldwide compilation of ideas, trends, influencers, and nonstop advertising! It’s just too much dopamine for any brain to take! But also…….. so tempting!

I feel like it’s always telling me “buy this and your life will be so much better!”… “so much easier!” “buy this and you’ll finally feel good enough!” “buy this and you’ll be attractive!” “you’ll get so many compliments!”…… just buy, buy, buy.

And I always think… well, if I don’t like it, I’ll just return it. No biggie.

Then I go to do bills. Yikes. And I think “…what the HECK did I spend $2000 on the last 2 weeks!?!?” oh ya….. all these things that were suppose to make me feel good but, instead, have drowned me in debt - which definitely stresses me out, and make me feel worse!

So, with the $3200 HOA bill looming over my head (…among other things…) here’s to realizing that, if a new skirt really was ganna make me feel valued and loved… I’ve already got 20 - and buying another one is the definition of insanity!

All my life I’ve heard that the best investment someone can make is to buy a house (…whether you make it into a home is up to you…). But is that still true nowadays?

It never was a dream of mine to own a house (that was more my sister) but, when I moved to Austin after having a $1000/mo rent increase in the Bay Area (California), I remember my friend telling me her parents had to move in with her because her dad fell ill and they had no way to keep up with rent payments and medical payments — all which (she said) would’ve been solved if they had bought a house years ago and could’ve either sold it or tapped into the equity. Either way, that was the only reason anyone had given me that made sense to me for owning a home. And, with rent prices increasing all the time, I thought “well, if I save up, put down a good down-payment, at least my monthly mortgage payment will be stable”.

But… I’m single and don’t need anything big so I bought a cute little 829sqft condo nestled in a quaint community surrounded by some walking trails and plenty of trees. The HOA cost wasn’t too bad and I figured… “well, I guess at least I don’t have to worry about landscaping”.

Then came the NOTICES…
“You put your garbage out too early”
“You have too many boxes for recycling”
“You can’t have a window AC unit” (…even if it is over 100*)
“You can’t plant those flowers like that”
“You didn’t bring your bins in early enough”

LORD. My whole adult life living in apartments I’ve never received even ONE (ok, maybe one…) notice! SHEEEESH. But I grit my teeth and remembered the supposed investment I’ve made. FINE.

And now…. came the whopper…… they’ve decided the roofs need fixing. ALL the roofs. Whether you’re having issues or not, your roof is getting fixed. Oh and btw, the $300+/mo in HOA dues all 130 units are paying? There isn’t enough in reserves to cover the Community Insurance deductible so we all have to pay $3000+ to cover it.

Whether we want to or not.

And, no, my insurance won’t cover it. Some folks were lucky enough that theirs did. Mind won’t. And my company is going thru layoffs and I’m trying to pay off some bills and save up for a car so this.just.plain.sucks.

Can I fight it? I dunno. Maybe Google or ChatGPT can help me. For now, it’s my motivation to add “sell condo and buy something without an HOA” to the list of things I’m ear-tagging my future income for (…provided I survive the layoffs).

I’ve been a subscriber to Medium since 2019… aka pre-pandemic - which both feels like it was a million years ago - and maybe just, like, last month... and I swear I’ve started (and stopped) typing up entries here about a hundred times.

I used to post a lot - years ago - on Tumblr (back when it was just a blog site). Then I got a stalker. *insert sigh & eyeroll here* I honestly can’t remember what exactly he did or wrote but I remember he DM’d me and was really creepy… so much so that I reached out to a couple other female bloggers he followed and they all said the same - he’s a creeper. So, because I was like 22, naive, and super freaked out, I deleted the whole thing and never went back. I didn’t even save any of my posts but the whole thing just creeped me out and I wanted nothing to do with it anymore. But… things have changed since then and, not that I think anything I have to say is sooooo important… it is a magical outlet for the thoughts and ideas running around in my head… and I just can’t seem to let it go.

So… here’s to trying something both new & old :)