There was hardly ever any doubt that the Scott Weiland story would end this way, but it’s sad just the same. I choose to talk about the music.

Scott Weiland was an integral part of so many musical upbringings. He was an iconic figure in an iconic era for music. Even though Stone Temple Pilots weren't from Seattle they were part of that wave of bands that music fans gobbled up as they searched for more and more rock bands to help fit into their MTV-120-Minutes-styled mix tapes. From the minute “Sex Type Thing,” “Plush,” “Creep,” and “Wicked Garden” filled up fans’ speakers the band and their enigmatic lead singer Scott Weiland were an inextricable part of the musical landscape.

Every band on earth knew how to play “Plush” and every person in the world could do an impression of Scott Weiland’s affected vocal style. But in the end, Scott Weiland the the Stone Temple Pilots escaped the early Pearl Jam comparisons and proved themselves to be true artists.

Scott Weiland’s musical instincts were bold and he created rare and unique moments that as a music fan I craved. I think specifically of the unplugged version of “Creep” where instead of just performing it like the studio version, Weiland and his bandmates amp up the second verse to make it that much more emotional and urgent. Here’s the video and the moment I'm talking about is at three minutes.

Stone Temple Pilots was a band that had singles and played the business game, but they also were the kind of band that would never release your favorite songs as singles. Purple was released in June 1994 and it sold over six million copies on the back of songs like “Big Empty,” “Interstate Love Song,” and “Vasoline.” Those were all great songs, but for me it was the ultra-personal “Kitchenware & Candybars” that will forever be the most important song from that record. It was a song that Scott Weiland said was written after he and a partner went through an abortion. It’s a crushing and beautiful song that the band didn't perform live until more than five years after Purple came out.

The same thing happened for me when the band put out Tiny Music in 1996. The album sold like crazy on songs like “Big Bang Baby,” a Beatles-esqu “Lady Picture Show,” and “Trippin on a Hole in a Paper Heart,” but I listened to “Adhesive” on repeat. I loved all those other songs too, don’t get me wrong, but Weiland and his bandmates never seemed to waste a track in those first three albums. “Adhesive” was supposedly about Weiland’s battles with bipolar disorder and I said I wanted to talk about the music so I only mention that as a way to acknowledge the way Weiland seemed to live directly in his art and the cathartic results.

For so many music fans who followed the Scott Weiland story, it was always meant to end this way. He joins a cast of singers including Layne Staley, Shannon Hoon, and of course Kurt Cobain who put themselves out there artistically and helped define a generation of music fans. I could go on about some of the work that I didn't enjoy and then touch on Velvet Revolver and all the other ups and downs of Scott Weiland’s career, but I'd rather just leave it here with the man’s most iconic songs. In the end, regardless of anything else involving Scott Weiland I think it should be about the incredible legacy of songs that he left. Even as he leaves the world in a sad way and much too soon, he leaves it better musically than he found it.

Let me know what your favorite Scott Weiland memories are. I’ll be playing songs and videos all day long.

…and how to do it better

Phone calls are the worst! Phone calls, which used to be the gold standard in communication, have gone the way of, well, the gold standard. You know, that thing that was dropped by President Roosevelt in 1933? Of course phone calls are still necessary and retain some value in the hierarchy of communications tools, but it has definitely dropped down the list to the point that it might now be keeping company with the FAX. Reality today is that people don’t want to be called and more times than not choose to handle their communications via text, email, or one of many methods that involve that same asynchronous, text-based format. Why has the phone become such a detested form of communication? It’s us, not the phone itself. We’ve changed. But make no mistake, we’ve changed.

Here are five reasons how and why things have changed and how you can handle your communications differently considering our new reality.

1. It’s my time. Nobody wants to be interrupted on someone else’s whim. Now that we live in a world with asynchronous communication, it feels obnoxious to have anyone dictate the exact moment you have to talk to them. While it was commonplace and normal, it now feels rude and presumptuous.
2. Voicemail stinks. The only thing worse than being interrupted by a phone call is knowing you have to listen to a voicemail and take notes in order to return a phone call. Sure, sometimes you can read your message via some transcribing visual voicemail like Google Voice, but often the translation misses key bits of information and you’re left replaying a message and taking notes. You could have skipped taking notes if someone would have just typed out the message to begin with!
3. What are you selling me? There’s clearly a power dynamic to phone calls and that’s why telemarketers and salespeople continue to use the phone. If we’re truly communicating and sharing ideas, then we can get to the point via text or email. There’s a dynamic in voice communications that has become untrustworthy so if it’s unplanned there’s a mistrust and questioning of the agenda.
4. How long will this take? Phone calls generally take too long. “Did you see the game this week?” or “How was your Thanksgiving?” can take what could be an efficient five minute phone call to 20 infuriating minutes in a heartbeat. Not only that, but after every phone call you can look and see just how big of a time-suck your phone call was. It’s not that people don’t care, but in a world where they scroll past peoples’ holiday photos on Instagram or Facebook, we already feel like we know how everyone’s holidays were in a much richer manner than you could ever deliver via voice.
5. Wait, what did we just say? In terms of accomplishing tasks, there’s nothing worse than getting off of a phone call and not remembering all it is that you need to do. While phone calls are still effective at explaining something complex, it’s horrible in terms of organizing tasks like setting deliverables. Unless everyone on the call was actively listening and taking notes, there could be a lot lost into the ether. You need to remember what kinds of information transfer are better spoken and which are better written.

How can I deal with this new phone-hating future?

Identifying the issue is one thing, but I’m all about solutions.

1. Schedule phone calls! If phone calls are treated like meetings, everyone wins. Schedule your next call at mutually convenient times via email or text.
2. Set a clear agenda! If everyone knows what your scheduled phone call will cover it will feel far less invasive to a busy schedule.
3. Don’t leave a voicemail! If you do try and call and miss them, hang up before the voicemail and text or email them to tell them what you need. Your response rate will be higher and more prompt if you remove the mystery from the agenda.
4. Keep calls moving! Work hard on transition skills to keep calls focused on achieving the agenda. Don’t waste too much time on unnecessary conversation. It feels more rude to unnecessarily extend phone calls. Just get to the point.
5. Follow up calls with written summaries! Send an email after a phone call with a quick summary and listing any necessary follow-ups.

Pay attention to these rules and most folks will be thankful.

The phone call isn’t going away completely anytime soon. It really can still be a useful tool when explaining or negotiating details, but the game has definitely changed. In a world full of phone alternatives, it’s time to slot the phone into the appropriate communications lane for the era we’re living in. The faster you change the way you think about phone calls, the better equipped you’ll be to deal with a younger and changing group of adults. Just remember that 21-year-olds were born in the 90's.

You don’t have to like it, but you do have to understand that it’s happening anyway.