On my 23rd trip around the sun, I gave myself grace.

I took time to do things I wanted, said no to ideas or people that were not serving me, and gave myself grace for what I was trying to achieve. I took life slow and moved at a pace that gave me comfort and security. I tried events that made me anxious and declined ones that were just too much. I gave myself grace for the things I could and could not handle. I was patient with myself and that was one of the greatest lessons I could've ever learned. “I am giving myself grace.”

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I lived many lives.

In that same year, I read over 91 books and traveled into 91 different worlds. That's a lot of lives to live in just one year. I found new favorite books, related to characters I'll never meet, and formed a sense of community through my shared passion for reading on social media sites. I became obsessed with my literature.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I documented a lot.

From writing to photographs to videos to websites, I documented every inch of my beautiful existence and am genuinely thankful for that. I filmed new adventures and wrote out the deepest of feelings. I got published in a book and started my novel. I started journaling every day and filling notebooks filled with thoughts again. My writing is who I am.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I gained incredible knowledge.

From earning my Master's Degree to becoming a Registered Yoga Teacher, I gained immense knowledge in just under a year. From my training in healing modalities to my formal education, I found a passion for so many different topics that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I gained over 1 formal degree, 8 educational professional certifications, 2 tourism certifications, a boating license, a CPR/First Aid/AED certification, and 7 healing modality-specific licenses and certifications. 23 was all about learning to the next level.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I lost friends and family but strengthened those connections I had prior.

Some of the friendships I have now, even miles apart, are the strongest ones I've ever felt. Loss will continue to happen, but so will the game of life. Losing my grandmother unexpectedly was extremely hard and something that will last for a very long time. Friendship separations from ones I thought would last a lifetime hurt in a way I never felt before. At least I can still fall asleep saying I'm still trying to meet those lifelong friends and I will continue on doing so. Nothing is permanent in this world, except the action of trying.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I tried new things.

I never thought I would pick up my bike again and start loving my bike rides. Or learning new hobbies like crocheting — which has ultimately become my entire personality (not precisely, but you know). I learned how to drive again after experiencing terrible anxiety that left me housebound for months. I tried smoothie bowls and different types of chicken wraps. I learned how to sew and how to take more candid professional photographs of strangers. I read more tarot cards and memorized new decks. I tried roasted red pepper hummus and guacamole with friends. I got a new job and lost that same job, but I tried a new experience all in all. (Note to self, I am not a law writer, and nor do I enjoy it, LOL). New boba tea spots became a fun adventure, and getting into fantasy books was something I'd never done before. I tried so many new things and experiences.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I felt heartbreak and felt love.

For something that feels very personal to share, 23 was hard. I found parts of myself I never knew existed and felt emotions I never thought I would again. 23 was explorative, 23 was messy for a few months, and 23 was loving. I felt the most heart-wrenching ache of pain and the absolute best joy in the world. 23 was filled with emotion and I’m so glad I got to sit with those feelings, document them, and express them in ways that inspired me.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I remembered how much I love water.

Being a Pisces water sign, I love water — yet 23 reminded me just how much I really need it. Water became my best friend, from spending hours in the pool to days in the ocean. I needed a spot to clear my head, breathe, and release thoughts. Water is who I am, what we are made up of. The ocean made me remember.

On my 23rd trip around the sun, I felt beautiful.

Most days, more than not, I felt truly truly beautiful being 23. I gained self-confidence, unlike any other feeling I've ever felt before. I loved how I looked at times. I felt truly beautiful being in the sun. I wore less makeup and took many photos. I want to remember myself being this young. I want to remember myself feeling this beautiful. I want to remember me.

Thank you, twenty-three. For being the most hardworking, dedicated, emotionally charged, and passionate year I’ve experienced yet. May the experiences get crazier, the friends get sillier, and the body gets stronger.

Here’s to 24.

Last Sunday, CalmCity Guide hosted an event in Beacon, New York highlighting local small businesses, self-care enthusiasts, and community lovers.

If you weren’t there, you definitely want to keep your eye out for the next one!

What is a “Self-Care Crawl?”

CalmCity Guide has the best platform for meeting new people, finding new hobbies, and gathering reviews for the best wellness and self-care spots in the market near you.

On Sunday, August 27th, they collaborated with multiple small businesses and hosted an all-day Self-Care Crawl… I’m sure the name sounds familiar. (If you’ve ever gone bar crawling, think of the same type of event except for wellness lessons, healing workshops, and product trials of your favorite self-care and wellness brands, teachers, and items!)

Not only did your ticket guarantee you access to all events and workshops, but if you stopped by the storefronts, you were entered into some awesome giveaways, as well as received discounts or free products from some of the businesses!

A description of the event can be found quoted below.

“CalmCity Guide has partnered with the crème de la crème of local eateries, shops, fitness studios, and wellness businesses to give you the opportunity to find new ways to break a sweat, fuel your body, and take a step towards becoming your most fulfilled self. Your chosen SelfCare Crawl ticket purchase unlocks our crawl passport which earns you access to tons of locations across your city, where you’ll enjoy free group classes, steep wellness discounts, and giveaways all around town. This is the ultimate no-excuses permission slip for ticket holders to enjoy some much needed me-time either solo or with family and friends in tow. You might fall in love with a new healing hobby like meditative pottery, or learn about a massage therapist or restaurant that you didn’t know existed!”

What was at the “Crawl?”

Over 10+ small business and multiple small food establishments joined together on Sunday to take part in Beacon’s Self-Care Crawl.

Multiple fitness and wellness classes included were:

• Yoga
• Pilates
• Bike Riding

As well as other heating modality workshops:

• Sound Healing Baths
• Reiki
• Ear Seeds Acupuncture
• Tarot Card Readings
• Gua Sha + Cupping Body Sessions
• Saunas/Massage Chairs/Light Therapy
• Ayurveda Classes

Personally, with all of the anxiety I was dealing with that day, I didn’t get to make it to any of the events. (I’ll get them next time!) However, I did get to walk around, meet fun new friends, and check out some delicious drinks!

I mean come on, look at that ICE CUBE! Is that not the prettiest ice cube you’ve ever seen?!

I’m very happy that despite not going to any events, I did get to frequent the food and drink territory… Let me just say, that the drinks from the Tonic Bar at the Sport Mode Herbalism Studio were to DIE for.

The one I personally had was called the “Herbal Electrolyte.” It was mixed with the following: Lemon Balm, Real Salt, Organic Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice, Manuka Honey, and Mountain Valley Spring Water.

It was the PERFECT drink to keep me hydrated and give me that refreshing taste of lemonade on a hot, sunny day. ☀️

You can check out their other drinks on their website here. Scroll below to see my drink in action! (Even the bottle was adorable and reusable!)

Wrap Up

In conclusion, the Self-Care Crawl was a fantastic way to get out of your house, meet members of your community, and find new wellness routines or products that may fit into your lifestyle! If you’re interested in learning more about events like these, feel free to follow my friend and CalmCity Guide’s founder, on Instagram here.

Feel free to view more photos from the event below! As a Hudson Valley native, I’m so excited Beacon is starting to get the recognition it deserves!

Thank you to CalmCity Guide and all of the lovely businesses that helped make this event a big hit! I hope when the next one comes around, I’ll be able to participate more!

Is this something you would be interested in? Let me know in the comments below!

For a final commentary, I just wanted to say hi! :) I’m back again! I plan on doing a new reintroduction soon as it’s been a while and a LOT has been going on! Thank you for following me and sticking around while I was gone the last couple of months! We’re back and ready to kick off this blog for good!

In case you haven’t heard, I’m starting a new publication called, “From Chaos to Calm: A Hudson Valley + Beyond Travel Guide.” This is a publication specifically for writers (and explorers) with anxiety, who are trying to live the life they desire while craving a taste of adventure.

I want the focus to be on capturing stories and travel writing from all types of events and locations in the Hudson Valley as well as in other parts of the world. Specifically honing in on what it’s like to travel with anxiety, traveling tips, going to events with mental illness, and being able to do more than what you thought you could.

I want this publication to feel real, raw, and genuine; a true essence of humanity and a desire to be better and live more.

As someone who struggles with anxiety but craves adventure, I know how terrifying the process can be. I'm inviting any and all writers who also love to travel but deal with anxiety and mental illness to join my publication, write stories, read other ones, and spread the word. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, please consider submitting your story to “From Chaos to Calm,” here. I’ll be making a more formal post for this publication later this week!

You can check out the ✨new✨ logo below. If you have any problems submitting stories, please get in contact with me by leaving a comment below.

And that about sums it all up! As always, sending love and light and I’ll see you next time!

I used to love McDonald’s.

I’m not even joking, but I wish I was. I probably ate McDonald’s more than 30 times last year.

If you’ve seen the documentary, “Super Size Me,” you know exactly what happens after 30 days of eating at McDonald’s. Granted, I didn’t consume it every day for 30 days, but still — the habit was bad.

I spent the entire summer adventuring. I think I might’ve been home for maybe a total of a month last summer.

Constantly on the road, in different states, in different homes, in hotel rooms, you name it. I was constantly eating out.

When the fall soon approached, I ended up experiencing a vast array of mental and physical health problems. I was eating terribly, not getting any sleep, stressed out beyond belief, and putting way too much on a plate (both physically and metaphorically).

I had to stop.

But what happened after, completely changed my life.

My Relationship With Food

Not to trauma dump on the internet, but I’ve never had the most “solid” relationship with food. Growing up, I was given mainly healthy options to pick from in my home. I was always one of the “bigger” girls in my elementary school…But I mean, when you’re 8 years old and need prednisone because you have terrible asthma and lung issues, what else do you think is going to happen?

I started to severely develop an unhealthy relationship with food as I got older. Without getting into detail for this story’s sake, let’s just say I found fast food again on my own terms and once you have a car — it’s game over.

If you haven’t picked up from my previous posts, I also struggle with terrible anxiety. Mix unhealthy eating habits with anxiety and you have yourself a ✨stress eater.✨ This is where McDonald’s comes in.

McDonald’s was my go-to.

I mean we can talk about the convenience all we want, but the prices? How can you beat those? A Sausage McMuffin from the Dollar Menu… COME ON!

So taking the prices and the convenience of being able to just DoorDash my meals, McDonald’s became pretty prevalent in my life.

Once I noticed my healthy habits were starting to become non-existent, I knew I needed a change. Starting with the most prevalent thing in my life, I cut out McDonald’s immediately.

Was I Addicted to McDonald’s?

The following weeks were miserable. I cut out almost all processed food, junk, and sugar. I was grumpy, feeling nauseous all the time, and super overwhelmed trying to find meals for myself.

Some people can call this withdrawal. I think it was a mixture of pure annoyance and frustration (with maybe a little withdrawal and other health side effects). I don’t think I was addicted to McDonald’s.

I think I was addicted to the feeling I got when I ate a “satisfying” meal.

What Happened Next?

After a few weeks, I developed more of a routine. If I wanted a McDonald’s Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin, I would go and make my own sausage egg and cheese with real ingredients from my home and whole wheat English muffins. (I’m not saying McDonald’s doesn’t use real ingredients, but… do your own research for that one.)

This pattern soon turned into more of a lifestyle. Suddenly, I started to WANT to eat better. I only wanted healthy options. I made it a GAME to see how long I could go without eating McDonald’s.

I didn’t get to have McDonald’s often as a kid. All of that caught up to me in high school as I soon realized the Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin was one of my all-time favorite meals ever.

Staying away from McDonald’s (or any fast food) was HARD. I slipped up here and there trying Nathan’s or Taco Bell a time or two. Turns out, when you don’t eat fast food for months you actually lose interest in eating from those places!

So What Came Out of This?

By not eating McDonald’s for 6 months, I have trained myself to consciously pick “better” eating choices. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Do I still sometimes pick a fast food location and regret it afterward? YUP! But even having that ping of regret, shows me I’m able to make conscious choices now and not beat myself up over them afterward either.

Not only that, but I’ve proven to myself that I no longer need to eat McDonald’s (or any fast food) as nearly as often as I thought I did. I can MAKE all of the same meals in my own home with organic or healthier ingredients! Since stopping my fast-food ventures, I have picked up on cooking some of my favorite meals and I continue to learn every day!

I have also increased my workouts, get daily exercise in, and picked more protein options to eat and my stress has significantly dropped! (Granted, this is not all due to stopping fast-food eating, but this did help!)

Cutting McDonald’s out of my life for 6 months was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Will I try it again soon? Probably. This time, with a clearer head, and a more conscious mindset.

If you’ve cut fast food out of your life, how did it make you feel? Let me know if the comments below! As always, take care, and see you next time!

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I learned that life is still stressful — if not more.

I learned to step out of my comfort zone and say “yes” to any opportunity that gets shoved in front of my face (even overnight decisions… just say yes). I learned to drop any and all expectations you have about a situation and to try and go into it blind (I’m still working on understanding this). I learned that comparing yourself to all of your old friends, current age group, and people who have more than you, hurts. Stop doing it. You are exactly where you need to be at this moment. Stop looking at their Instagrams. No one is doing “better” than you. You are where you are meant to be.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I made genuine friendships and felt necessary heartbreak.

I felt the feeling of giving so much love and feeling so truly needed by others. I felt love and commitment run through my veins and heartbreak that poured down my eyes. At 22, I thought I made the lifelong friends I had been searching for since 2018 in my senior year of high school. And quite possibly, maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. Time will tell. At least I can close my eyes at night and say I tried and I’m still trying to find those people.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I traveled to places I’d never been.

I felt the feeling of riding a jet ski for the first time under the blazing sun. I felt the feeling of visiting a country club for the first time and eating a DELICIOUS gourmet cheeseburger. I felt the feeling of watching stars during a fishing trip in the middle of the night on a lake. I walked across a stage during a college graduation in a room full of strangers at a school I never physically stepped foot in.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I met my online friends in real life.

A feeling I had waited on for years to come. A truly, unreal sensation filled with emotions I didn't even know was possible. I met more than 5 of my online friends in real life at 22. An experience I had waited over 3+ years for. These were moments that would forever change my life. The massive amounts of love that filled the air were nothing but pure happiness.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I learned to stop trying to impress people.

At 22, I learned that I cannot be everything my parents may want me to be. I cannot be everything my boyfriend may want, everything that my friends may want — and that’s OKAY. I don’t have to be. I am going to be “too much” for people in this life. And sometimes I may not be “enough”. Not everyone is going to agree with my decisions and they don’t HAVE to. If I spend my whole life trying to “prove” myself to someone else, then who exactly am I even? Am I my genuine self if I have the constant feeling of having to be “more” for others?

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I realized I cannot save my parents, as much as I may want to.

I am not going to be able to heal my mother’s trauma or my father’s stress. At 22, I learned that my parents are trying to love and care for me in the only way they know how. They are trying to break generational curses and trauma themselves. They are doing the best they can. As much as I may not agree with their parenting styles, I know they are coming from a place of love. As much as I may want to help them heal, I cannot save them.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I learned how to set boundaries.

I started saying no. I started saying, “I can’t talk about this right now. Can we speak later?” I learned how to put my foot down for my friends, family, and on social networks. If someone doesn’t agree with my boundary, that is okay, as long as I am respected as a human. I learned how to stand up for myself in a respectful manner.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I noticed I didn’t always agree with other people’s morals and values.

I learned the hard way that even my own age group will value different commitments and ideologies than what I have — and that is perfectly normal. I learned that it’s okay to not agree with the actions of your friends. Whether you continue to foster that relationship between you two or not, is up to each of you. Do not resent them unless they cause harm to you. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and is allowed to make their own choices. Even if it’s not what you would do. Do not judge (I am still learning to not do this).

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I experienced pet loss.

This one came unexpectedly that shook me a little differently. I realized I valued my relationship with and love for animals much more through the passing of my childhood cat, Zoe. This opened my eyes to realizing I cared more about the environment and saving wildlife than I initially thought I did. The feeling of being pet-less for the first time in my life since I was born was something I never want to experience again. It was an utter sensation of pure loneliness.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I fell back in love with reading.

During my childhood I was an avid reader who loved opening new books, taking trips to the bookstore with my grandparents, and reading every single night. I lost that passion through high school and I was gladly reintroduced to it in my 22nd year of living. This is something that has connected me to more friends, invited me into a new network of people (bookstagram, booktok), and given me a new hobby to pursue. I fell back in love with it immediately.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I became devoted to pursuing my hobbies and passions.

I spent countless time outside in the fresh air. I took photographs to remember my favorite moments. I started reading again. I learned how to use a Cricut machine. I learned how to crochet. I learned how to bake. I became one with nature, one with life. I became dedicated to studying holistic health and wellness. I planned for hours about what I wanted to make out of this life. I created a reality filled with hobbies and passions and dreams. I started dreaming again. Dreams bigger than anything I’ve ever thought of.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I stopped relying on toxic chemicals to relieve stress.

As much as this one may not be important to others, I was an avid nicotine user since my grandfather died in 2017. Over 5+ years of addiction, useless money spent, and terrible health habits. In my 22nd year of life, I decided to quit. This has been one of the greatest and biggest achievements of my life. I have been sober from other substances for over 5 years now. This was the last one to go and in my 22nd year of life, I made it a priority to let it go. This was one of the most difficult mental strengths to go through, and I am happy to say I am over 6 months free.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I started prioritizing my physical and mental health.

I started working out. I started watching my eating habits and correcting my behavior. I started therapy again to learn how to be a better communicator and to train my mind to calm during heightened anxiety. I started implementing holistic health coping mechanisms and treatments. I am still struggling with eating conditions and making better life choices, but that is the journey of life. I am working hard now so that come this summer (or anywhere in the future), I will never be in the position I was in ever again. At 22, I learned that health is wealth.

In my 22nd trip around the sun, I became a soul committed to lifelong learning.

There is nothing more exciting than learning everything this world has to offer. In my 22nd year of living, I learned that I will forever be a teacher AND a student. I will forever learn from those before me, those around me, and those away from me. This life is about learning. Learning to be better, learning to speak smarter, learning how to love others, and learning how to be more educated.

I want nothing more from this life than to learn everything I possibly can.

Thank you, twenty-two. For being the most challenging, accepting, loving, and passionate year of my life. May the lessons come harder and stronger this year and may my success, happiness, and health prosper for years to come.

Here’s to 23.