When Summer Won’t Quit and Autumn Is Calling

The products below were provided as PR samples for potential review — inclusion was not guaranteed. My family used, enjoyed, or found genuinely helpful the products included.

I am a “Spoonie,” which means someone who is chronically ill and disabled. It comes from “Spoon Theory,” which describes how many of us have low-energy days, get tired doing dishes, and tend to take fewer showers. My reviews reflect Spoonie life.

Summer’s Sizzle is Boiling Over and Autumn Vibes Are Welcome

In Oklahoma, summer rages on — we’re looking at continued 100-degree days for two more weeks. People with POTS (Potsies), like me, are struggling. We all could use some fun out-of-the-sun while wistfully anticipating autumn’s cooldown.

Living with products over several months, I test them at my own pace, meaning reviews aren’t rushed. My hope is you’ll find something here that fits your current wishlist, whichever season is your favorite.

🧸 Small Comforts & Inner-Kid Joy

Hugimals Hugaround Weighted Penguin — $45

Pax the Penguin has become a cheery and permanent fixture on my bed. My weighted penguin is my “new Nugget” when Nugget doesn’t want to be my teddy bear anymore. Pax can be heated in the microwave or cooled down, but for me Pax is perfect as a calming snuggle, a weight on my lap, or around my neck while I work or walk around the house.

☁️️ TeeTurtle Cloudheads — $4-$13

TeeTurtle makes stuffies, games, and more — and they have stolen my heart. Scented and branded Cloudheads have immediately become fixtures in our home.

I gifted my teen daughter and two elementary-aged nieces scented Cloudheads for Christmas 2025. As of August 2026, my daughter and I are impressed the scent is still holding strong.

My Hello Kitty Kuromi Cloudhead ($12.99) arrived this summer, and I was absolutely tickled. She has become a permanent display on my bedside dresser, bringing back sweet childhood memories mixed with my love of spooky season.

The Cake Scented Unicorn Cloudhead is currently on sale for $4, while the other scented Cloudheads retail for $10.

🍦 KLIMON Ice Cream — $3-$7

My teen daughter and I opened a KLIMON ice cream sandwich. I was excited and she was skeptical — dairy free can be noticeable. Happily, we both loved the Churro Chata sandwich and its cinnamon flavor. Our KLIMON Vanilla Boom pint is disappearing and I’m not sure who the culprit is.

Later, in the heat of August, I pulled out a KLIMON Banana! Scream Pie sandwich along with my Tupperware containers of ice for our bird bath (the teen barred owls are LOVING that). I was brought back to a childhood snack I’ve been craving all summer — Nilla wafer vanilla puddin’!

The next day, my curiosity led me to the freezer, where I scooped out a delicious spoonful of Vanilla Boom, which did not disappoint. I added a dollop to my coffee. The current Minions and Monsters branding is adorable. Dairy-free ice cream is my go-to, and this is one of the best I’ve tasted over the years.

Currently available on Instacart and from select retailers.

🌹 Refresh & Feel Good

HPPY Skin HYDRATE + CONDITION Gel Cleanser — $34

The days I remember to wash my face, HPPY Skin HYDRATE + CONDITION Gel Cleanser is my go-to. I finally ran out after months of use and ordered a replacement through Shop.com. Including shipping, it was a little over $40 — pricier than my previous face wash — but a little goes a long way, and I use makeup remover wipes some days.

HPPY’s gel cleanser was the standout of the HPPY products I tested. My Spoonie friend couldn’t use any of the sampled products due to highly sensitive skin; however, her spouse ended up enjoying them.

🌹 Ella & Eden Organic Rose Water Spray — $20.99 on sale/Regular $34.99

Ella & Eden Rose Floral Water Spray was an easy YES for me, as I love rosewater for my body, face, and hair.

Spraying refrigerated rosewater on my neck is an especially welcome treat on truly trying POTS days.

🫧 Everblue Empower Volume & Shine Shampoo + Conditioner — $16.99 each

After receiving Everblue’s Volume and Shine set for potential review, it became my favorite hair care set I’ve had in a very long time. Everblue is available at Sprouts and Whole Foods, as well as through limited online retailers.

Because I’m a Spoonie, my two bottles have lasted me months. I occasionally use a primer scrub with a scalp massager to help the shampoo suds up and work even better.

Yesterday, I finally had enough spoons to run a few errands within a very small radius. One stop was Sprouts, where I purchased the Repair and Hydrate Everblue set because my curly, gray hair could use that kind of love. There’s also a set specifically for curly hair.

All Everblue shampoos and conditioners retail for $16.99 each.

🍓 Eat, Drink & Share

🍫 Muzeo Boutique Chocolates — $18-$75

Muzeo’s box of chocolates invites you into a visual experience before you even begin tasting.

While my two Spoonie friends and I absolutely savored them during a Christmas meeting, my family members weren’t fans of the cremino. Pistachio and hazelnut flavors are also included.

Muzeo partners with Spanish, French, and Italian chocolatiers to create its confections.

I upcycled my Muzeo box to hold random cords, Fitbit bands, and other odds and ends in its three compartments. I later repurposed the magnetic-closure box again for makeup palettes and makeup brushes.

Muzeo offers a variety of candy and chocolate options priced from $18-$75, making them thoughtful upscale gifts.

🍪 The Pastry Project — $35-$384

My teen daughter had so much fun baking this beautifully designed and tasty kit from The Pastry Project, founded by two women in 2019. The icing was especially tasty, and I loved the unusual blue color. She added our own sprinkles to some of the cookies. The kits come with almost everything you need except the baking equipment and perishables like butter. We tested this one last holiday season and realized the kits would be fun any time of year — as a gift, a treat for yourself, or something to bake with family and friends.

Free shipping. One-time kits are $40, with monthly subscriptions starting at $35. Other options include a yearly subscription for $384 ($32/month).

🍑 Figure Ate Biltong and Figure Ate Flavored Vinegar — $11.99-$129.49 (includes some sale prices)

I wasn’t sure what to expect with Figure Ate’s Biltong ($11.99), which is aged and air-dried to achieve a similar effect to more familiar beef jerky. While I found it delicious and protein-packed, the price point is a bit out of my budget. I can see it being used for entertaining or by party planners.

We also received a sample of Figure Ate’s Fermented Persimmon Vinegar ($18.99) and I requested that my spouse make a recipe provided by the brand: Grilled Peaches and Burrata using the flavored vinegar. I love grilled fruit and cheese, so this was a delight to my taste buds.

Value packs are also offered.

🥄 Kitchen & Everyday Helpers

💧 SpiroPure Countertop RO by All Filters — List price $399.48, Allfilters price $199.74

We had just discovered a very small amount of lead in our tap water. When the SpiroPure countertop hot water filtration unit was offered for potential review — I jumped on it.

Setup was a little more difficult than anticipated, and it’s important to follow the instructions carefully so the device works as promised. It was worth the extra effort.

The water tastes delicious. I use the top heat setting, but there are two more slightly cooler options, along with a room-temperature one.

Goodbye, annoying beeps, walking away from the microwave, and annoying the household. The SpiroPure pours fairly quickly, with a bit of splash — and it’s faster than the 90 seconds it took to heat my water in the microwave.

I also enjoy the ease of adding filtered, room-temperature water to my cups of ice. The bottom tray is removable, making it easier to fit taller cups. With the former jug of filtered water I used, I had to hold the cup, and it got unwieldy and heavy for me.

An extra bonus: the filter requires an annual change, lasting much longer than Pur- or Brita-style filters.

💧Path Water / Reusable Water Bottles — Pricing Varies, Set of 4 $23.99

My teen son, who just started freshman year of college, saw an unhoused woman at school and offered her water, which she accepted. He used his Path water bottle and went inside to fill it with cool water. Such a kind gesture.

The bottles are reusable, recyclable, beautiful, and fun. We have several, so he knew we could spare one.

Family feedback on the bottled water was fairly mixed, with me liking it most because I am a water hound. My son uses the refillable bottles almost daily.

We were provided with a reusable cap with a handle, and I’ve since ordered a replacement plus an extra.

This will be a surprise: I ordered my son a new branded set, with many designs to choose from. Code Welcome15 kept the cost under $35 for four reusable water bottles, filled with water, and two swing caps.

🔪 Cutluxe Pairing Knife — $40.99, On Sale for $30.99

Our Cutluxe Paring Knife has been an often-used favorite, especially with my spouse and daughter, who do most of the cooking and prep around here. The sharpness is great for cutting fruits and veggies, but the real surprise is how the weighted handle makes cutting into food feel easier.

🪵 Woodenhouse Teak Utensils Set with Holder, Spoon Rest & Hooks — 12 PCs Utensils $76.99, On Sale: $54.99

This Woodenhouse Teak utensil set has been a well-used hit in our kitchen. My spouse hand-washes them because they aren’t dishwasher safe — a drawback for me, but one that helps preserve their durability, plus I’m not the one washing them.

They look especially stylish in their teak container on our countertop.

🩷 Spoonie Life

🧤 Grace and Able Compression Gloves — $22.99

My hands haven’t been hurting as much lately, so I’m glad my Spoonie friend was also included in reviewing these Grace and Able compression gloves.

She enjoys them, even sleeping with them on, as they are lightweight enough for bedtime.

I enjoy the grippy dots on the inside of these gloves, and because my pain is unpredictable, they’ll be added to my rotation of compression gloves for when I need them.

Also available in blue and black.

🌿 Radiant Wellness Recovery CBD Salve — $48

Balms and salves are so much a part of my life they’ve almost become friends. Just kidding. But I use pain creams a lot.

I managed to strain a spot between my chin and neck so badly that the pain woke me up in the middle of the night. The next afternoon, I received Radiant Wellness Recovery CBD Salve to test. Minutes after slicking some on the painful area, I felt relief while enjoying the sensory combination of menthol, camphor, and geranium.

The Recovery CBD Salve was such an unexpected helper after I strained my neck for hours on an ER stretcher, resulting in some of the most unbearable pain I’ve experienced. It provided more relief than other creams and balms were giving me at the time.

This is a tiny powerhouse salve for which I am quite thankful.

My Playful Riff on a Sears Catalog for Summer was originally published in Aimee’s Writing Shenanigans on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Hi everyone — long time no see (or write) from me. 💛

I’m currently on a long pause while coping with multiple health issues and continuing my SSDI appeal process — year THREE of trying. ♿✨

These days, laying in bed has become a much more common position for me than I ever expected. But from that space, I’ve also become co-admin for an amazing support group for chronically ill people here in my area.

What makes this group special is that while disability may be what brings us together, community and connection are what keep us there. 💕

We’ve built a stellar and growing moderator team, and one of our mods, Josie, is an absolute BADASS. 🔥♿

Josie 3D prints wheelchairs for kids and DONATES them. Yes, really. 🦽✨💛

I wanted to pop in today not only to say hello, but to ask for a small favor: if you’re on TikTok, please consider following Josie’s account.

https://www.tiktok.com/@chronically.josie

She’s only about 40 followers away from becoming monetized, and that income would directly help her donate even MORE wheelchairs to kids who need them.

It’s such a small action, but it could make a huge difference in someone’s life. 💛

Thank you in advance.

I miss you, Medium fam.

Best,
Aimee

— all handpicked and approved by my family or me

Some of the gifts in this guide were provided as PR samples for review, but inclusion was not guaranteed. Everything here is something my family actually used, enjoyed, or found genuinely helpful, ensuring these recommendations are authentic.

From cozy scents and spa-worthy treats to whimsical décor and tasty indulgences, this year’s gift guide has something for everyone. Ranging from $10.00 to $349, each item has been tested, loved, and approved by my family or me.

🏠 Home & Décor

One-Minute Pop-Up Christmas Tree

This shockingly easy-to-set-up, pre-lit, and pre-decorated Christmas tree comes flat in its own storage bag. Simply remove it, pop it up, and fluff the leaves, then insert the small stake in the middle to hold it in place. Perfect starter tree for apartments, small homes, offices, or as an accent tree.

Why I love it: Its decorations are beautiful — red plaid and burlap polka dot accents with a plaid red bow at the top. Reusable and perfect for people limited on time, space, or ability.

Price: $89.99 | Shop One-Minute Pop-Up Tree

Kolibrijoy Candle

This sleek, modern, hand-poured candle has up to 50 hours of burn time. Light and cozy fragrance for your home, with gorgeous packaging ready for gifting. Each candle is named for a vibe: Passion, Positivity, Resilience, Confidence, and Persistence.

Why I love it: Long-lasting burn time, small-batch production, light scent, and modern design make it cozy and calming for our home.

Price: $49.00 | Shop Kolibrijoy

Pillow Cube — The Kids Cube

Supportive, ergonomically designed travel pillow perfect for planes, cars, or at home. Encourages proper alignment of neck and shoulders. My teen daughter uses it lounging, watching TV, and on long car rides. We didn’t test it, but there are adult versions, too.

Why I love it: Soft, squishy, adorable. These are both cute and functional self-care items for kids.

Price: $19.99 (on sale from $29.99) | Shop Pillow Cube

📚 Books

If you’re craving gifts that invite stillness, nostalgia, or creative reflection, these two books are perfect companions for winter evenings and quiet mornings. They also make beautiful display pieces when the season’s bustle settles down.

The Fir Tree by Hans Christian Andersen

I found this version of The Fir Tree by Hans Christian Andersen, illustrated by Sanna Annukka, on display at a local treasure-trove of a store one holiday season. Its design popped under the Christmas tree display, and I immediately added it to my holiday wish list.
A timeless story about longing, appreciation, and simplicity. Hardcover design is stunning and doubles as décor — perfect for collectors or anyone creating a cozy reading nook.

Available on Amazon currently $22.28

A Christmas Memory / One Christmas / The Thanksgiving Visitor

This trio of short holiday stories, including “A Christmas Memory,” by Truman Capote, is full of Southern warmth, childhood nostalgia from the early 1930s in Alabama, and gentle melancholy. Perfect for the sentimental reader or for starting a holiday reading tradition. I discovered this classic several years ago at my mom’s home during the holiday season. She let me borrow it, and I fell in love. It’s exactly the kind of writing that lingers — these are stories I aim to reread every holiday season.

Available on Amazon: currently $11.79

These two books each offer something special: one brings romance through the lens of chronic illness, and the other celebrates music and nostalgia.

If Tomorrow Never Comes by Allison Ashley

Author Allison Ashley first won me over with Would You Rather. Her romance novels are introspective, emphasizing emotional intimacy over steamy scenes. As an oncology pharmacist, Ashley writes her protagonists with chronic pain thoughtfully, giving them depth, heart, and realistic challenges.

Available on Amazon: currently $10.74

Slacker: 1991, Teen Spirit Angst, And The Generation It Created

Janicke captures the loneliness, confusion, and freedom of expression that defined Gen X, showing how 1990s grunge music shaped and often comforted this generation. This narrative memoir will resonate with lovers of both music and memoir.

Available on Amazon: currently $24.99

💆 Self-Care & Body

Even Keel Bath Cubes

Opening these botanical bath cubes is a true gifting experience. Each cube comes wrapped in individually handfolded paper, complete with instructions and scent notes. They can be used in the bath, as bathroom fresheners, shower steamers, or even as a stain remover in a pinch. I savor each bath where I use one to soothe sore muscles, and I personally love the bold scents, from clove bud to cedarwood to cinnamon and more.

Why I love it: Small-batch, handcrafted out of Brooklyn, New York, and made with obvious love and care.

Price: Even Keel Original Fizzy Set — $34.00

Diamond Dots Necklace

When I first learned about Diamond Dots, I immediately thought of my chronic-illness community and asked the company if I could try one. It arrived in adorable polka-dot packaging and included a necklace holder to keep the invisible line from tangling in storage. I wear this piece constantly — it’s a luxurious gift for anyone, especially someone who could use a little extra pick-me-up.

Why I love it: The light gleams off it beautifully, I can fidget with it, and it’s so lightweight I barely notice it unless I want to. It’s a simple, elegant piece for those who don’t wear jewelry often, yet versatile enough for layering with other pieces for jewelry lovers.

Diamond Dots Necklace — $349

Mayron’s Goods Soaps & Body Milk

Plant-based, clean skincare created by Emmy-winning actress Melanie Mayron and her chemist father. The Ouch Balm has a medicinal scent and a soothing feel (though it can get a little messy). The Anti-Chafe Cream genuinely saved me during peak summer humidity, especially under the breasts. Both the Wash and Body Wash produce far more suds than I expected from such a simple-looking formula, and the Body Milk is lightweight, absorbs quickly, and has lasted much longer than the soap in our shower.

Why I love it: Thoughtfully formulated, planet-friendly, and rooted in a creative father–daughter origin story. Everything feels clean, gentle, and surprisingly luxurious to use.

Price: https://mayronsgoods.com/collections/all Prices range from $10 for individual products to $164 for The Good Big Box (includes 9 products).

All Better Co.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. The Don’t Scratch That Patches worked immediately on summer bug bites, and the Don’t Scratch That Pens stopped persistent itching even down to scabs. The Bamboo Latex-Free Band-Aids are perfect for sensitive skin, and the mini chill packs are cute and potentially useful for stings and bites. The Everything Spray seems handy, though the patches and pens impressed me most.

Why I love it: Quick, fuss-free relief that actually works, with gentle, cute, and easy-to-use products.

Price: Prices range from $10–$30. Shop All Better Co

MyChelle Fruit Enzyme Scrub

This fruit enzyme scrub is a standout surprise. Use it before washing your face — after exfoliating and cleansing, your other facial care products absorb so much better!

Why I love it: Super easy to keep in the shower and use 1–2 times per week for a gentle, pampering exfoliation.

Price: $19.99 | Shop MyChelle Fruit Enzyme Scrub

Formulary 55 Bath Oil

Formulary 55 Body Oil is a moisturizing treat for after showers, baths, or any time of the day. Lightly scented and quickly absorbed.

Why I love it: Beautiful, gift-ready packaging and a silky formula that leaves skin smooth and nourished — perfect for family, friends, or even a Secret Santa swap.

Price: $30 | Shop Formulary 55 Body Oil

Prairie Bourne Botanical Facial Products

My dear friend is the founder of Prairiebourne. She handcrafts a beautiful line of facial care products in Tulsa, Oklahoma, drawing on herbalism she learned from her mom in Arizona. Favorites of mine include Elixir No. 9 — perfect for middle-aged skin, Blue Magic Cleansing Oil — great for acne-prone skin with a scent almost like cotton candy, Rainbow Mask, Night Balm, First Aid Spray (currently unavailable), and De-puffing Eye Roller, which also works well for sinus-related facial tension. Body oils and perfumes are also available.

Why I love it: Thoughtful, handcrafted products that combine effective skincare with unique scents and natural ingredients. Elixir No. 9 is my absolute favorite.

Price: $15–$47 | Shop Prairiebourne

🍫 Food & Drink

Old Trapper Beef Jerky Coins, Chopped and Formed

Our family loves beef jerky! This bag of Old Trapper Peppered Beef Jerky is flavorful, easy to chew, and packed with 10g of protein for just 80 calories per 4 pieces. Perfect as a stocking stuffer or a travel snack, it’s widely available in stores like Walmart.

Why I love it: It’s a tasty, relatively healthy protein boost and brings back nostalgic memories of sharing jerky on road trips.

Price: $20.00, in stores only | Shop Old Trapper

Corn Straws

These eco-friendly corn straws remind me of hollow noodles! Slightly short but surprisingly sturdy, they make a fun and practical alternative to plastic.

Why I love it: They hold up in drinks without getting soggy and make sustainable entertaining effortless.

Price: From $8.99/50 | Shop Corn Straws

Lumi Aluminum Cups

Lumi cups are a sleek, sustainable replacement for disposable Solo-style cups. Recycling aluminum is much easier than plastic, and businesses can opt for custom logos for events.

Why I love it: Lightweight and party-friendly, they’re perfect for on-the-go hydration. I even gifted one to a friend visiting for the day — perfect for sipping electrolyte water on the ride home. Pair with a Corn Straw for a complete eco-friendly setup!

Price: From $24.99/50 | Shop Lumi Cups

SoulHum Elixir

Since becoming chronically ill, I cannot consume alcohol, as it immediately triggers pain flares. I love that SoulHum offers a non-alcoholic alternative for a special treat. This adaptogenic, mood-supporting beverage blend is designed to restore balance and focus — perfect for cozy, mindful mornings.

Why I love it: Both my body and brain delight in the taste and thoughtful design. Drinking SoulHum isn’t just having a special drink — it’s a mindful, sensory experience.

Price: SoulHum Elixirs — $69.99 for a set of one of each, or $39.99 per bottle

Fresh Roasted Coffee Sampler

Surprisingly robust flavor when made drip coffee style. Small-batch roasted beans that highlight rich, nuanced flavors — ideal for coffee lovers.

Why I love it: It’s fresh, aromatic, and the sampler packs make discovering new blends effortless.

Price: https://www.freshroastedcoffee.com/collections/coffee-draft Samples from $4.99 — lots of varying price points for pods, coffee beans, ground coffee, apparel, and more

🎨 Creativity & Family

Top Drawer Watercolors

Portable, beautifully pigmented paints that inspire creativity anywhere. My daughter uses the Japanese handkerchief as a belt accessory, small headscarf, or pocket scarf — it’s incredibly soft and versatile.

Why I love it: The variety of products at Top Drawer makes art accessible for novices or anyone getting back into painting. I tried the “2 cat” art tutorial to experiment with the paints and loved how my imagined cat, “Sourdough,” turned out. These items are just as lovely on your desk as they are in use.

Price: Handkerchief $20, Watercolor Sets starting at $38

Crazy Aaron’s Thinking Putty

I discovered Crazy Aaron’s Thinking Putty at a local toy store when my kids were young. The packaging is fun, and the soft putty is incredibly satisfying to mold. I loved it so much that I asked for it for Christmas last year — and was thrilled to receive it!

Why I love it: Engaging, stress-relieving, and endlessly moldable — perfect for kids and adults alike.

Price: Crazy Aaron’s Celebrate Thinking Putty — $15

*Last Year’s Standouts Deserve A Callout*

Park + Coop

I carry this bag to physical therapy pool days and family gatherings. It’s soft, practical, and spacious enough to hold everything I need — from a change of clothes to pain creams, medications, my phone, wallet, and more.

Why I love it: The Market Bag (I have an older version) is stylish, durable, and versatile, making it perfect for both everyday errands and special outings.

Price: $95 | Shop Park + Coop

Scribble Art Book

I had such a blast interviewing the founder of Scribble Art! As a parent, I love keeping my kids’ art, but often struggle with storage and organization as the piles grow. Scribble Art offers a fantastic solution.

Why I love it: You can preserve your kid’s artwork in a compact, beautifully bound book while recycling the originals.

Price: Hardcover kid’s art book starts at $59.99 for 24 images Shop Scribble Art

Renee’s Garden Seeds of Spring Hope

Gardening lights me up, and Renee’s Garden is my absolute favorite seed company. I especially love their wide selection of zinnia varieties and their cylinder scatter garden seeds, perfect for adding color anywhere. Prices start at $2.99 for individual seed packages and around $20 for the scatter garden sets.

Why I love it: The seeds are high-quality, easy to grow, and bring vibrant, joyful blooms that enhance the magic of gardening.

Price: from $2.99 Shop Renee’s Garden

✨ Go Forward and Gift

Each of these gifts has something in common — they’re thoughtful, sensory, and designed to be enjoyed long after the wrapping paper’s gone.

You can find all the featured items on my Benable list, or subscribe to my Substack for future seasonal guides and personal favorites.

Sipping fresh roasted coffee and wishing you a warm season and a happy gifting season,

Aimée Brown Gramblin

“My favorite author is Ellen Hopkins. It was so validating to see a best selling author also punctuate incorrectly, and throw stanzas to the wind.”

The moment I met Finn at the front desk of my new doctor’s office, his kind, rebellious vibe caught my attention. Little did I know, he was a poet. Since then, we’ve connected through groups for people with chronic illnesses, and it’s been a privilege to know this spider-rearing, tattooed, tender badass poet.

Truly.

You’ll see what I mean when you read Finn’s first published book of poems, Chaos in Creation (available on Amazon for $10). Affiliate disclosure: I may earn a small commission if you purchase through this link, at no extra cost to you.

His poems reflect experiences of trans identity, gender, parenthood, chronic illnesses, mental health, relationships, and the natural world.

Fiery yet tender, this slim volume makes people with chronic illnesses feel truly seen.

I’m so glad Finn agreed to answer the following interview questions for Creative Corner.

Why do you write creative nonfiction/poetry?

My work is an extension of myself — it is a hobby that helps heal some things that were previously broken. Once I get it out, it makes me proud of myself, but I also feel much lighter mentally.

When and how did you break into writing?

I have been writing since I was a small child. I really seemed to lean into it in middle school and high school. It was my coping mechanism, my escape from troubled teen years — as well as I suppose troubled adult years. It’s okay to laugh at that. There is also so much beauty in life, love, and nature. I take a lot of inspiration from those. If it weren’t for those bright, silly poems in between, I’m not sure what I would do. Probably not sell many books. When I witness something profound, my soul has to document it.

Where have you learned the most about writing? For example, from reading other writers, advanced education, workshops, or elsewhere? For aspiring writers, are there resources you’d recommend?

I learned mostly from intuition, and curating my own particular style. My English teachers used to mark up my poems because I didn’t punctuate them ‘correctly.’ It would drive them batty. I am very much self taught, taking inspiration from some of my favorite authors.

Who are some of your favorite writers?

My favorite author is Ellen Hopkins. It was so validating to see a best selling author also punctuate incorrectly, and throw stanzas to the wind. Her work is raw, it is ugly, it is beautiful. Once a friend told me my writing reminded them of hers, and it was one of the best compliments I’ve received to date.

What are your tips on writing outstanding material?

Take inspiration from what you know and what you are passionate about. Remember that a page of bad writing can always be edited, but a blank page cannot.

What are the pitfalls to avoid in writing?

Honestly? The main pitfall in my eyes is not believing in yourself. Do it, write. Do it badly. Do it again. And again, and eventually you will have at least dipped your toes in a hobby that you worked hard on — and in the best case, you’ll be an exceptional writer.

What are your future projects?

I smile every time I tell someone this is my first book, because in my head I scream ‘And it won’t be my last!’ I am already working on new poems. This book has been such a success that it has really lit a fire inside of me and I am excited to keep creating. I plan to keep making these small 50 or so page books as I am able to fill them.

Finnigan James Bark is a transgender, queer man with two beautiful children. His first published pieces were featured in Exemplary Poetry Vol. 18 and Stunning Poetry Vol. 13 by Silent Spark Press. Chaos in Creation is his first exclusively published book — curated with poetry
documenting his journeys through trauma, love, grief, and joy. It is available on Amazon for $10 with free shipping for Prime members.

Social Media

https://www.facebook.com/WitchBoyArtworks

Chaos in Creation Cuts Straight to the Bone was originally published in Age of Empathy on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Long-form interview with Cow Hug Therapy author Ellie Laks

Ellie Laks, author of Cow Hug Therapy, is the founder of The Gentle Barn, animal communicator, energy healer, and all-around phenomenal human.

The Gentle Barn, a rescue sanctuary, mainly for animals headed to slaughter, was founded by Ellie Laks in 1999. Since then, multiple locations have opened. During Ellie’s difficult childhood, she often turned to animals for comfort. Ellie offers a similar experience through the Gentle Barn, where you can cuddle with cows and other farm animals. In her book, Cow Hug Therapy, Ellie highlights many of the animals who she has gained wisdom and insight from during her tenure at The Gentle Barn.

We spoke via Zoom in early February 2025. Hanging behind Ellie’s desk were beautiful animal portraits. I shared with Ellie that I found Cow Hug Therapy and Ellie’s journey very deep.

Cow Hug Therapy is heavy with wisdom and it’s a hard read, too. How Ellie balances her wisdom with despair and struggle is beautiful; not many people can do that. It’s a gift I am thankful to have read.

The Heart of Self-Care

AG: I resonate with your turning to nature, and your having a hard childhood. Your emphasis on self-care and it being quite a journey to accept and understand its importance in your life is relatable. I’m wondering beyond meditation and cow hug therapy, do you have any additional tips for that kind of thing as we are going through this, for me really difficult political landscape, I’m guessing we’re probably the same, I wonder about some more movement-oriented ways of like shaking off the anger and despair that if that’s something that you also go? When I think about it some things that come to my mind like dancing or singing.

I’m curious about any suggestions for somatic healing that you might have?

EL: I think once we cultivate our self-care muscle, it permeates everything we do. At the beginning of my journey, people would say, oh you got to have a work-life balance, you need to have self-care. I was like “Yeah yeah.”

It took a very, very, very long time to not only understand what self-care is but to put it into practice and I’m still working on it. It’s not a perfect muscle yet at all; it’s something that I’m probably going to be practicing to my last breath.

What we eat is in our self-care practice. I honor my body and rest by going to bed on time, getting up early, and meditating each morning. This leaves me time during the day to do the things that bring me joy.

While junk food tastes delicious in the moment, it does not offer a lot of energy, so it will hinder my life and my work. Feeding myself fresh organic vegan fruits, vegetables, nuts, and grains gives me the appropriate amount of energy.

The things that I eat are part of self-care, the rest that I allow myself, the days off that I allow myself. Those are the more obvious things but I think that self-care is also identifying the things that bring me joy and trying to at least do those things regularly, either daily, weekly, or monthly, but put them into practice because those of us who are healers and love to be in service give it all away and we just give give give until there’s nothing left and that’s not fair to anybody.

It’s important that I know at least five things that bring me joy and then I get to practice those things. Practicing joy keeps me strong and sane but also in practicing joy, I am bringing myself self-care and honoring myself.

You asked about this crazy political culture climate. I will say that self-care is also in the boundaries that we create for ourselves.

It’s different for every single person but I know for myself if I watch too much news, if I have too many conversations of what’s going on out there, I’m going to go insane. It is not productive for me. It makes me want to curl up in a fetal position in bed and kind of never come out. For me, it’s setting boundaries of there is a time for action, there is a time for conversation, there’s a time for voting, there is a time to empower our voice.

Once the election happens or once the choices have been made, there really is no action. Now we just have to learn to live with it.

Loving ourselves, loving one another, supporting other people, and allowing a safe space for other people to call home and to call sanctuary is really, really important.

I am no longer going to spend hours watching the news or reading the newspaper, or having those political discussions with people because they’re not action-based and it just brings me down to hopelessness. I want to stay hopeful, I want to stay contributing, I want to stay helpful to other people, and I’m really lucky because I get to do that through The Gentle Barn.

The Gentle Barn gets to be a sanctuary for people of every dynamic, every walk of life, every gender, every belief, and they get to come to find sanctuary for themselves. I love being that safe space for people and that makes me feel good.

The Gentle Barn gets to be a sanctuary for people of every dynamic, every walk of life, every gender, every belief, and they get to come to find sanctuary for themselves. I love being that safe space for people and that makes me feel good.

AG: That’s unusual, I think, being able to foster a safe place for such a diverse group of people — I hadn’t thought about it that way. Of course, you’re going to see people with all different kinds of viewpoints.

EL: And not only that but welcome them with open arms. You are safe here. We are coming together under the common love of animals, and we’re going to find healing together. So that’s something that brings me comfort.

You don’t have to own a sanctuary to be able to do that. I think it involves just giving love to the people that need it the most, letting others know what we believe, and where we stand so that they know they’re safe with us. I mean every one of us as individuals can do that.

Junk food is a real struggle. Who doesn’t want to sit down with a huge bag of potato chips or a big thing of french fries and pig out? What I’m trying to work on especially now is in the short term yes that could feel like comfort food but in the long term I am harming myself when I do that, I am making myself feel bad afterward, and I’m robbing myself of my energy. I’m going to feel bloated, I’m going to feel that sugar headache; instead I want to nurture myself from the inside out.

Nurturing is putting healthy things in my mouth so that I’m honoring my body just like I would if I were taking care of an infant. I wouldn’t feed them junk food, I would feed them really healthy food because I love them. I want to do the same for myself.

Veganism and Its Impact on Animal Agriculture

AG: I’ve experienced animal communication also, but only sporadically in my life. It’s not something I feel I can just do. What is your advice for how people might be able to better listen to our pets or wildlife around us?

EL: I think the bigger answer is that there are a lot of things we do in the world that drown out our intuition and block us. There are three big things that I want to talk about to strengthen our intuition to open up those connections.

Number one is to go vegan because when we’re eating the energy of violence, fear, and suffering that’s not going to allow us to connect, but when we’re ingesting good, living energy it allows us to be much more intuitive and much more connected.

I have watched that transformation with many, many, many people, including my journey. You could notice an enormous difference.

AG: I was debating whether or not to go here…I am not vegan. I was a vegetarian in high school with a very soft heart. I have some practical questions about that. If everyone decided to be vegan, how would that affect the ecosystem and why is it that some animals eat other animals?

EL: I love that question and first of all let me say we are all evolving at our own pace but any empath and animal lover is a vegan waiting to happen.

Let me paint you the picture. The destruction of the environment, the rainforest, the waters, the groundwater, the fields, our ability to grow food, and the fertilization of the soil are all meeting their demise because of animal agriculture.

It’s not natural to have farms with 20, 30, 40,000 cows in one spot. Dirty water is going to the groundwater and destroying it. That methane is going into the ozone and destroying it. It’s just not natural.

So, forget about the ethical reasons and the suffering that eating animals creates environmentally. They are literally chopping down the rainforest to create more room for more cows to graze so that they can kill more cows and make more money. The rainforests are disappearing, the water is being poisoned, and the plains across America are being used for cattle.

They are just huge dead zones across America that we can no longer use to grow things because they’re used for cows. Also, the beef industry wants that area for their cows, and so they’re killing off the wolves, the bears, the smaller animals, and the wild horses.

They’re trying to obliterate everyone that is competing for those grazing lands. It’s a very selfish and destructive way to live. It’s not for the health of Americans. It’s literally for their profit. Environmentally we are destroying this planet because of animal agriculture.

When we go vegan, we save 1100 gallons of water a day and we save an acre of trees every single year which empowers us to combat deforestation. One singular person who adopts a plant-based diet saves 200 animals every single year, saves an acre of trees every single year to combat deforestation, saves 1100 gallons of water a day to end this drought, and reduces our own risk of every Western Disease by 90%.

Many people look at these huge problems and go, “Oh, who cares what I do? I mean look the problem is so big, little ole me, who cares?”

The truth is the power in the hands of each of us as individuals is enormous, and the choices that we make are either adding to the demise of this planet or are being part of the solution.

If we all went vegan, animals would live alongside us and not by the billions in some abnormal factory farm way. We would hug cows, and the horses would roam wild and free, and we’d wave to them as they gallop by. The forest would stand tall and strong and provide us with shade and oxygen to breathe. And because the forests returned, the soil would become rich and fertile. We would be able to grow fruits and vegetables across the country.

A large majority of the grain that this planet produces goes to feed animals that are going to be slaughtered for people to eat. If there were no more consumption of animals, we would have plenty of room, rich soil, and fertile lands to grow grain and nutrients, and it would end world hunger. There would be no hungry people. We would be able to feed everybody.

The waters would be clean and good to drink. The forests would return. There would be oxygen. Some studies show that the depletion of the forests equals more desert, which is raising the temperature of our country, which is adding to more destruction because our planet is becoming so hot that the ice caps are melting, and species are going extinct.

Things are not growing anymore, and the rain isn’t falling, and now fires are burning us down. It’s all related. And people like to treat it like a separate topic, but it’s not. It’s all related to this cycle of demise that is happening with animal agriculture.

The minute we all go vegan, the forests return, the temperature goes down, and the soil becomes fertile. Things grow, there are no more fires, there’s more water, the ice caps return, the creatures are protected and sustained, and then the disease disappears from our culture.

Right now there are billions and billions and billions of dollars being spent feeding us poisonous food creating illness in our bodies that then they are making billions and trillions of dollars treating with a medication that causes side effects, so now we need more medication and it’s on and on and on and on. It’s this vicious circle of creating money for the point one percent but when we all go vegan we are creating health for all of us.

Then we don’t have to spend our resources, time, and energy combatting these diseases, mourning one another, and being sick. We can now celebrate life, live life to the fullest, and be healthy in our bodies. We can celebrate life and honor life alongside our animals who now get to share this planet as well, and reverse this cycle of destruction to heal our planet and ensure that we all have this home to live on for many, many more generations.

Baby Steps to Veganism

AG: That’s a very lofty and beautiful dream. Do you have any baby steps that you advise people to take to get there?

EL: Yes, I have the perfect baby step. If you’re even interested or considering going vegan, what I would suggest is to calendar a time when you might have two or three hours to spare. Go to the market and spend time simply going down the aisles, reading ingredients, looking at the products, and familiarizing yourself with what’s vegan. There are a lot of vegan things that you don’t even realize are vegan. First of all, realize, wow!, a lot of what I eat is already vegan.

You’ll see I can no longer have this, I can’t have this. That’s fine. Then spend some time looking at the plant milks, plant cheeses, vegan meats, ice creams, and cream cheeses.

AG: I know they’ve come a long way.

EL: They’ve come a long way. And let me reassure you, we eat well. What you do is if you look at a plant milk you’ve never tried or a vegan meat that you’ve never known about, take it home and try it.

If you don’t like it because not all products are great, never get it again. But, if you like it, put it on your shopping list and keep doing that every time you go grocery shopping. Try new things and what you like, put on your shopping list. Very soon you will realize that you have an entire shopping list full of delicious, nutritious vegan foods. And there you go, now you’re vegan.

AG: From a personal standpoint, I work with a dietician and I know that it’s hard for me to come up with the protein I need, especially as an older person, through plants. Because you have so much more experience with that, I bet that you know how to do it. I’m curious what do you eat for protein?

EL: I went vegetarian when I was 11 years old and met a chicken and realized that was chicken and rice. I was done eating animals, but I had no idea about the dairy, egg, and honey industry so I wasn’t vegan yet. Then 25, almost 26 years ago, someone explained to me what happens in the dairy, egg, and honey industries. I went vegan on the spot. That was for my own ethical reasons. But then, later when I started having children, I said, okay, now I need to know what I’m doing. I can’t just impose this on my kids.

I did a lot of research, years of research. I found out exactly how to get the iron, calcium, and protein so that my kids would grow up strong. They were never sick. They were healthy. They never got acne. They got their periods really late instead of at 9 years old. They stayed lean and healthy.

First of all, this mantra that we have in our society that we need a lot of protein is built by the meat industry. It is a misnomer and it’s not true. There are many more people in our society who are suffering from too much protein rather than too little.

I’ll follow that up to say beans and rice are a complete protein. There’s protein in broccoli and peas. All fruits and vegetables contain protein. If you’re just eating a balanced diet with lots of different fruits, vegetables, nuts, and grains you are going to get enough protein. You are not going to have to worry about it at all. I think that if you’re eating potato chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then you’re going to suffer from a lack of iron and B12 and you’re not going to feel good because we’re not designed to eat those things. If you’re eating peas and lentils and rice and beans and tofu and nuts and broccoli and Brussels sprouts and dark leafy greens, you are not going to have a problem.

Eating a balanced diet is not just about the protein. You need iron: beets, lentils, dark leafy greens, red grapes, and red apples all have a lot of iron. I eat those things regularly. You also need B12. The animal gets the B12 from the greens they’re eating and then people get the B12 and other nutrients from eating the animal, but we could bypass the middle-man, which is the animal, and just go straight to the garden to get our B12.

One of the ways that I get B12 is from Sun Chlorella. It’s a wonderful company. You can go to sunchlorellausa.com. They have Sun Chlorella for animals and humans and it’s extremely high in B12 so it gives you energy and it enhances your memory. It helps your hair and nails and your skin and your bones. You’ll feel fantastic.

I take Sun Chlorella and so do all our animals every single day.

How to Put Meditation Into Practice

AG: I think you had some additional points to the answer of how to listen to our pets and wildlife?

EL: One way is to go vegan because it’ll open up that intuition. The other is to have a daily meditation practice.

AG: I am resistant to that daily meditation practice. Do you have any advice on how to meditate daily?

EL: When I first learned about meditation and it was a direction I wanted to go on, it was like torture. I didn’t want to do it. I would make any excuse in the world not to do it.

When I finally sat down and even set my alarm for 5 minutes, the entire time, my brain was like is it over, is it over, is it over? I can’t just sit here. This is torture. It was terrible. It was like literally torture.

But you know what? So is going to the gym for the first time. Any muscle we’re trying to exercise and develop is going to feel like torture in the beginning but when we keep going back and back and back we develop that muscle and it becomes easy.

At the beginning of my meditation journey, I didn’t want to do it, just like you. It was torture but I kept returning to it again and again and again and now I’ve exercised that muscle so completely that I refuse to leave my room until I meditate every single day.

I look forward to it and I can’t wait to do it. Some days, I’m going, “Oh I don’t want to finish meditating now. I want more time, I’ll do five more minutes.”

Number one is practice makes perfect. Number two is finding the meditation that works well for you because some people sit well in the silence and focus on their own breath but some people need music to take them through or other people can find a guided meditation and hear somebody’s voice taking them through. There are lots of different ways to meditate and find the way that’s going to most inspire you to want to do it.

AG: I’m thinking about Cow Hug Therapy and towards the beginning, you write about meditating with the cows. Being with animals, outside in my backyard has been the easiest way for me to get into that meditation space, and I think that’s good and fine, but I find myself even getting distracted out there now. That’s why I asked for some tips about more traditional, indoor meditation.

EL: You hear these meditation gurus and they’re like “I meditate for 5 hours a day.” I can’t do that and I don’t want to do that, at least at this stage in my journey. There’s no competition, like if I don’t do it for a certain amount of time, it’s not real. Set your alarm for 5 minutes. And make that comfortable and daily before going to 10 minutes. There’s no shame in how to do it. There’s a walking meditation, you can meditate while doing the dishes, and you can meditate just staring at a flame on a candle; there are many different ways to do it. Don’t set yourself up for failure by thinking you have to do it for 30 minutes. Do it for 5 minutes until that becomes comfortable and you start looking forward to doing that. Then and only then you can increase it if you want to or not.

I think it’s more important to show up every day even if it’s for 2 minutes versus showing up for 30 minutes and then never doing it again because that’s not sustainable. You and I are talking about how to train our beings to listen more. How are we going to be able to be open, intuitive, and connected to listen to someone else when we can’t even show up for ourselves for 5 minutes and sit in our silence?

AG: Our world is so noisy.

EL: And we’re so noisy. Our thoughts tend to run us. Meditation is our chance to sit, notice our thoughts, let them go, and show up for ourselves. Talk about self-care. Meditation is a huge part of self-care.

Following Our Intuition

Then there’s a third step. So, it’s going vegan, a daily meditation practice, and then the third thing is kind of tied in with self-care. The third thing is really taking ourselves seriously. Because a lot of us think a thought and then go, no that’s dumb, or say something and go, okay, you’re probably right — I didn’t mean it. We don’t take ourselves seriously.

When our animals talk to us they communicate through videos, pictures, and words, so they’re going to show us mental pictures or we’re going to hear their voice, but the information comes through like it’s our own thought. It doesn’t come through separately. An animal can say something and my brain is going to receive it like it’s a thought. So we have to learn to take our thoughts, our voice, our feelings, and ourselves seriously because when we can really listen to ourselves, then we can absolutely hear someone else.

AG: The word intuition keeps coming to me. When we can listen to our intuition.

EL: We are not trained to do that in our culture. We are trained to shut up and listen to someone else. God-given intuition is to realize that we have the answers, that when we’re depressed it’s our compass saying we are off track. When our minds are busy, how do we help ourselves ground? When we feel like someone is not safe or not authentic we need to listen to that. When we feel like, oh don’t go down that alley, listen to it. Our bodies are a living compass and they are guiding us all the time to who is safe, to where is safe, what we should do, and if we’re on course with our life or not. And, if we don’t listen we end up in real trouble but when we do listen it will never let us down and it’ll always guide us. In turn, it will cultivate that intuitive muscle that will allow us to listen to others.

How to Help The Gentle Barn

AG: Since we are in this current world with horrible agricultural practices, I was wondering if you have any action steps for people who are interested in helping animals be treated more humanely beyond veganism?

EL: Donating to places like The Gentle Barn when we’re on the front lines trying to rescue animals from slaughter, from the meat, egg, and dairy industries, volunteering, donating, and contributing enables us to do that. It’s hard to answer that question beyond veganism because that’s where it lives. The way you save these animals is by going vegan. Going vegan saves 200 animals per year. By going vegan, you’re saving more animals than starting a sanctuary.

AG: Have you created a handbook or something like that for people interested in starting their own animal sanctuary? I know you’re trying to figure out how to keep this going when you’re gone and pass it on.

EL: People come all the time and say they want to start a sanctuary, it’s their dream. Jay (Ellie’s husband) and I teach a course on helping people start their own sanctuaries and it’s all the logistical things that you would imagine. It’s about raising money and fences and barns and zoning and what do the animals eat and how you keep them safe.

It’s also helping their vision come fully through them so that we can help design their dream because there’s no one way that a sanctuary looks. There are a million ways that Sanctuary looks, so helping that person give birth to the dream that’s coming through them specifically is step one. Once we hash out that dream in very vivid bold colors and details, then we help them implement learning the logistical issues, but we also tackle things like compassion fatigue because you can start the most wonderful sanctuary in the world and then things will happen and compassion fatigue will hit and if you’re not armed with how to move through that you will shut your doors and you will have accomplished nothing.

You have to be prepared and armed with how to deal with compassion fatigue.

Then we talk about how to work because death is just as much a part of sanctuary as birth and rescuing animals.

About Death and Grief

AG: Cow Hug Therapy allowed me to cry and grieve deeply with you. And that is a gift, a personal one for me. I lost my dad about a year and a few months ago. I’m very intentional about grieving and I resonate with your emphasis on walking home animals as they die. I love your phrase “Welcome Home” said to animals as they cross or have died.

Several years ago I started a similar practice when I saw roadkill and now say “rest in peace” to them.

As I read Cow Hug Therapy, themes that emerged were grief and death being balanced with surrender and gratitude. As I read the last two chapters I found myself almost highlighting everything. There’s so much wisdom deeply packed there.

EL: Thank you so much. I’m sorry about your pain over your dad here so hard.

AG: He was an energy healer. He practiced reconnective therapy. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that?

EL: Yes, I’m very familiar with that. My first book is called My Gentle Barn and it’s about giving birth to the Gentle Barn. My intention with Cow Hug Therapy was to tell the animals’ stories.

I do that in the first book, but my first book is also woven with my own story, my journey, why I did this, how I did this, and how we did this.

My journey is woven into Cow Hug Therapy, too, but I really wanted to talk about the animals. It would have been an 8 million-page book if I talked about every animal I’ve ever owned. I had to choose the animals I was going to include in the book. I gave a lot of thought to what are the biggest influences in my life? What are the animals that have influenced my life the most and have taught me the biggest lessons? I started writing them down and then I started writing their chapters.

I remember being in the studio to record Cow Hug Therapy myself. As I was doing audio of the book and reading it out loud, I noticed chapter after chapter after chapter was about death. At one point I looked at the engineer and said, “Oh my God, I didn’t realize! If this is so much about death I’m sure you just want to catapult yourself out the window. Is this too much?

AG: I think our culture needs more wisdom around death. I think there’s a major need for this type of book.

EL: Agreed. We don’t talk about it enough. We don’t support one another enough. We don’t go through it gracefully enough. And, especially as animal lovers, typically they’re going to have a shorter lifespan so it’s really important that we talk about this and that we have somewhere to turn.

It was interesting because someone like you reading this book, you’re going to get it. The typical people that come to the Gentle Barn and would read this book, they get it.

But reading it out loud in front of the engineer was different. He had a dog but it’s not like he’s hugging cows every day. He’s definitely not vegan. He’s just a regular, normal guy.

I was very painfully aware of what the book sounded like to a normal, regular guy and I became very self-conscious. I remember asking him, “Oh my God, there’s so much death. Is it too much? Is it too overwhelming? Do you want to jump out the window?”

He said, “It is hard sometimes to listen but it’s really important.” and then we finished the audio and said farewell.

About a week later he called me up and said, “My dog just passed away.” It was sudden, unexpected, and traumatic. I don’t know what I would have done had I not done this process with you and not listened to your book. In that moment I thought about your book, I thought about your words, and I knew exactly what to do, and I can’t thank you enough.”

Here I was being self-conscious, but in the end, these are conversations that we need to have. People, and people who love animals, need this kind of support. We need to have these conversations.

I think when a family member passes away, not in every case but mostly, that person will have a circle of friends or be supported to take days off of work, or be supported in their temple or church or whatever. In these circumstances, other people are going to acknowledge, yes you’re in pain.

But when we lose animals, I don’t think that awareness is mainstream culture yet. I think when a lot of us say, you know my beloved soul mate dog or cat just passed away, there are going to be bosses who say, “Are you kidding me?” There are going to be friends who listen to you maybe the first, second, or third time, but then they’re going to get frustrated and suggest you get another dog or cat.

That grief can feel extremely lonely. I wrote this book in honor of my greatest teachers and their messages and their lessons but I also wrote it in honor of the millions of people out there who love animals. Because they have shorter life spans they’re going to lose them and I want them to know that their grief is real, that I see them, and that I am holding space for them.

AG: That just brought Sky to my mind (Ellie’s dog who passed away). It’s really beautiful.

Energetic Healing — For Animals and Humans

Last year, I was diagnosed with multiple invisible chronic illnesses, some that I’ve been living with since childhood. The decades-long discomfort and 5+ year search for answers was pretty brutal. I’m wondering if you’ve had anyone like me at the Gentle Barn — I bet you have. What kinds of lessons or wisdom do you have around that specific situation?

EL: I want to start by saying how painful and how lonely and how frustrating that must be. I went through something similar when I was in my 20s.

I want to say a few ideas, but only if they’re helpful. I’m hoping that they’re helpful and I by no means mean to be saying something that sounds ridiculous or insulting. I’m trying so hard to be helpful. Leave it if it’s not helpful and take it if it’s helpful.

I’m going back to my 20s when I also suffered from something very similar Eating healthier, meditating, practicing self-care, making sure we’re getting enough sleep. All of those things are important. That’s obvious.

The other thing that I did way back when is I sat down in meditation several times because the first time didn’t do it. I had to ask the question many, many times over, but I found myself asking the question, “Okay I see you, I hear you. This disease, this illness is showing up for me. It’s been with me since childhood. It’s rearing its ugly head. Nobody knows who you are. But, I’m seeing you. I’m acknowledging you. What are you here to tell me? What are you here to teach me?

AG: Yes, I feel like my disability is here to teach me. I’ve gone through a lot of anger and come to that.

EL: Yes, so what is it? Is it a past trauma that we’re not dealing with? Is it just we need to treat our bodies better? Are we in a career that is killing us and we need to change course? Is there a dream inside of us that is yet to be fulfilled?

Many times these illnesses will come to wake us up. They’ll go “Hello, you’re not on track, you’re not doing that dream you’re supposed to do, you’re not dealing with something that you need to deal with.”

AG: At this point, our dog, Nugget made an appearance and Ellie complimented him profusely. I thanked her and went on to say:
We also have a dog, Juno, who is elderly and starting to decline. Because of this, it really spoke to me to read about ways that you walk animals home.
Juno passed away on February 17, 2025. I was by her side and grateful to be with her, in communication, to walk and welcome her home.

EL: Using animal communication is helpful for that.

AG: I am trying I’m trying to do that. Ellie mentioned she offers animal communication. You can contact her for more info.

I have a chronic pain. One modality I use to manage that is CranioSacral. I think that you mentioned using that for your animals in Cow Hug Therapy?

EL: Yes, that is one thing we do for the animals, and also acupuncture, which is great for the animals.

Western medicine has a place. There’s medications, there’s antibiotics, there’s stitches, there’s broken bones, there’s physical therapy. There’s a lot that Western medicine accomplishes for our bodies. And, it’s not the end all, be all.

Sometimes when we’re looking for real healing, going to a doctor and getting a pill is not going to heal the situation. Sometimes we need real healing like CranioSacral, Acupuncture, Chiropractic, nutritionists, and a better diet. I do energy healing.

AG: Do you practice RCT (Reconnective Therapy)?

EL: I do lots of different modalities. The one that I do the most is Scalar Wave Energy Healing for my clients. There is a school for Reconnective Energy Healing that comes out to the Gentle Barn regularly. Before the pandemic, they would come once or twice a year and we would have 60 people doing that on our animals. It was amazing!

AG: Is that what they were doing when they healed the animal who couldn’t be touched?

EL: Yes! Delilah.

AG: That is so cool. I don’t know a lot about Scalar Wave healing. Is it a hands-on or hands-off practice?

EL: It could be hands-on but it’s also something I do remotely. It’s going through the chakras and putting life and light back into the chakras, realigning the body, putting energy back into the body, and also going into different parts. When you’re going through the body and going through the organs and going through the chakras, you’re going to be called to stagnation. You’re going to be called to where energy is stuck, so then you can put healing into those areas to make the energy flow around the body.

There are different modalities and different ways to do energy healing, but it’s really just the same thing with different ways of getting there.

On Practicing Asking For Forgiveness and Giving Forgiveness Through Meditation

AG: Have you thought about or already recorded a guided meditation that has to do with the Forgiveness practice you write about in Cow Hug Therapy?

EL: I haven’t yet but that’s a really good idea. I’m going to do that.

AG: I would love to hear that. The Forgiveness practice spoke to me. I’ve been in therapy since I was four off and on, and I’m still in it. It has been for different kinds of things throughout my life. At 4, was for my parents getting divorced, and my mom was cognizant that therapy might help me through a hard time.

I realize to experience deeply true forgiveness, that’s a deep-down muscle. I am not quite there with that forgiveness muscle, so having that practice of repeatedly asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness resonated.

I am curious about the asking for forgiveness part, which feels like a level-up from forgiving others. I thought about self-forgiveness, too. The forgiveness practice really got me thinking.

EL: It’s very freeing. When I first started doing it, it was very, very uncomfortable. When you’re thinking about a possible perpetrator or someone who caused you harm and now you’re asking them for forgiveness?! Are you kidding me?

I’ll give you an interesting example. I do past life work and in one of my past lives, I was an Egyptian Queen. My parents had died so I became the Queen at a very young age. The kingdom was kind of ruling everything on my behalf. I was just kind of a figurehead. They kept things from me. They didn’t really show me what was happening in the kingdom. There was this servant boy that was a friend of mine and he went around and he would bring me back intelligence of what was happening.

One day he came to me and said, “You’re going to have to see what’s going on in the dungeon. You’re going to be very upset.”

We snuck down to the dungeon. If anyone had caught us, we would have been in big trouble.

There were animals and humans who were enslaved, chained to the wall, being beaten and whipped to carry rocks or whatever they were doing. It was terrible.

I marched up to the guy in charge and said, I demand that you set them free immediately. I demand that this ends right now.”

He kind of laughed and all his henchmen were around and they laughed too. “Haha, you’re so cute. This is not your concern. You don’t need to worry about this.”

I said, “I do need to worry about this. I’m the Queen. This is my kingdom and I want a kingdom of peace. This is not going to happen. I order you to set them free.”

He said, “You know what? You’re right. I will I beg your pardon. I will.”

I said, “Good,” and I stormed off, and he threw a spear into my heart, and killed me.

As I lifted up and out of my body I said, I’m going to keep coming back to this planet over and over and over again until the injustices of this world are done.

Recently I was doing some energy healing around some stuff that was showing up in my life now. The person asked is this something that you have to deal with now or does it have to do with past lives? I immediately thought of that life and that guy. And, I wanted to do forgiveness work for that energy, for that lifetime, for that man. And, I ended up apologizing to him, which you would think, that’s absurd. Why would you apologize to someone who murdered you?

Because, you know what? I did humiliate him in front of his staff. I did order him to do something without a quiet conversation. I didn’t pull him to the side. I didn’t talk to him quietly. I didn’t plan it. So, I apologized for my part.

I am not suggesting that people who have had horrible trauma done to them played a part.

There’s something about saying if I did anything to hurt you, to humiliate you, to dishonor you, to withhold my love from you, or whatever it is, I’m going to ask for forgiveness first and then I’m going to offer my forgiveness that I set you free and release you.

There are people in my life that I needed to forgive that I went into that forgiveness meditation 20, 30, 40 times until I felt free of them. I don’t want to make it sound easy. Sometimes it’s one and done, but sometimes it takes 50 times to feel that release and relaxation in your own body.

AG: Some experiences go so far back and so deep that it makes sense it would take more than one session, and possibly tons or several to find that release.

EL: I’m sure you know this, but we’re not making what they did okay. We are releasing their energy and their hold on us so that we’re not carrying them around.

Soul-Searching Questions to Request Guidance From the Universe

AG: I love reincarnation and it overwhelms me. I spent a lot of my 20s and younger teenage years being terrified of having to come back to this sometimes-horrible experience. Do you have any wisdom around that? How do I just let this go and trust that the next life will be okay?

EL: I have three things to say about that. First of all, I hear a lot of people say “oh to be young, if I could go back in time to be young again,” and I say, “Hell, no. Hell, no!” I finally got here! I would never go back.

Second of all, I’ve been suicidal in my life a couple times and the reason why I’m grateful that it didn’t go through is because I have this vision of going right back to the beginning and whatever I’m here to learn, whatever I’m here to overcome, whatever I’m here to do, let’s just do it because I’m not coming back.

The third, that’s why I ask the questions in meditation regularly, “What am I here to learn? Who am I here to be? What am I here to do? Give it to me, show me the way, give me the instructions.”

I want to be in my full power. I want to be in my full authority. I want to be as effective as I possibly can because I want to do it right. Let’s just get it right.

In closing our conversation, Ellie invited me to come out and hug a cow if that ever would ever work out. After Juno passed away, I dreamt an orange cow held me close . It was very comforting. Let’s all go to The Gentle Barn when we have the chance .

In the meantime, read Cow Hug Therapy. I think you’ll love it.

Gentle Barn Website

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/gentlebarn

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegentlebarn

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegentlebarn/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegentlebarn/

What The World Needs Now Is To Hug A Cow was originally published in Age of Empathy on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“Write from the heart, be vulnerable, take risks, and speak directly to each reader as if they are right there in front of you!” — Ellie Laks

This standard Creative Corner interview is a prelude to our long-form interview coming out later this month.

I had the great joy of interviewing Ellie Laks in early February about themes in her most recent book, Cow Hug Therapy. She founded The Gentle Barn, inviting people from all walks of life to find therapeutic healing in hugging a cow and other barn animals.

Laks has written both My Gentle Barn and Cow Hug Therapy. My Gentle Barn is about how Laks ended up on this wild, heart-filled journey. It’s on my To-Read list. The Gentle Barn is about how the organization came to be while Cow Hug Therapy focuses on the animals’ stories.

In Cow Hug Therapy, Laks listens to her animals and conveys their wisdom to the reader. It’s a beautiful piece of work.

In our video interview, we discussed the uncomfortable parts of growing in self-care, veganism, boundaries, meditation, intuition, healing modalities, and of course, animals.

Why do you write creative nonfiction?

My purpose is to show the world how beautiful animals are in any way that I can. Writing nonfiction gives me the opportunity to tell our rescued animals’ stories, be their voice, and share their wisdom with my readers.

When and how did you break into writing?

I remember as a child I would narrate little things that I was doing in my mind, as if I was creating a story. I loved my english classes, was an avid reader, and enjoyed my writing assignments. I always knew that I would be a writer. My first book, My Gentle Barn, was published in 2014.

Where have you learned the most about writing? For example, from reading other writers, advanced education, workshops, or elsewhere? For aspiring writers, are there resources you’d recommend?

The biggest lesson I have learned about writing is to be as transparent, vulnerable, and honest as I can or don’t write the book at all. Sometimes it is scary to feel so naked and open, but that is what people relate to and are inspired by.

Who are some of your favorite writers?

I enjoy reading biographies and memoirs the most. Especially those who have lost themselves, struggled, and come through to find themselves in deep ways.

What are your tips on writing outstanding material?

Write from the heart, be vulnerable, take risks, and speak directly to each reader as if they are right there in front of you!

What are the pitfalls to avoid in writing?

I think the biggest pitfall is caring too much about what others will think of you, or being worried about your own image. Put pen to paper and let the words flow without worry or judgment.

What are your future projects?

I know there is at least one more nonfiction novel in me, but, for now, I am writing picture books for children and am very excited to share the stories of our rescued animals with little ones and inspire their own life lessons.

Gentle Barn Socials

Gentle Barn Website

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/gentlebarn

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegentlebarn

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegentlebarn/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegentlebarn/

Ellie Laks Amplifies Animal Voices in Her Book Cow Hug Therapy was originally published in Age of Empathy on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.