In May of 2009, I was finishing up my sophomore year at Indiana University. Without an internship lined up, I decided to dedicate most of the summer to writing and recording music. That was my path towards perceived significance and I had an ego to match it.

When one of my friends signed up to lead music at a summer camp in Northern Minnesota for the entire month of June, it was an easy decision to tag along. I used it as an excuse to get away from home and focus on music. I also knew a handful of other people volunteering. One of the camp leaders, Jon, was a mentor and close friend.

Before leaving for the trip, Jon and I met for lunch. We talked about how excited we were to spend a month together in Minnesota. He also mentioned how he couldn’t wait to hear the music each night. But he had one recommendation, “Keep it quiet…don’t walk around promoting how you’re a musician to other volunteers or campers. Just let people find out for themselves.”

It’s easy to glance over this at a surface level. But it was a profound lesson for a twenty-year-old, self-assured musician. This was the first lesson I learned in navigating ego. And it’s one I’ve continued to visit on an almost daily basis since.

More action, less talk.

With close to a decade more experience in life, Jon saw straight through my shit. But the way he approached it is what made the difference. He could have shrugged me off as an “idiot teenager” or come down with sharp criticism, causing me to shut down. Instead, he led an open conversation and explained one of life’s most important lessons–especially for those doing creative work.

When you reveal less up front and people discover something interesting about you later on, it builds intrigue. You demand far greater respect than if you volunteered that same information unsolicited. It also adds a layer of depth and authenticity that draws people in.

“I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.”

Cato the Elder

Action outweighs talk. This approach lends you far more credibility. Those who self-promote and overshare at every chance lose the force behind their voice. It becomes noise, lost to the wind.

People don’t need to know everything about you. In an era that’s obsessed with social media and vulnerability, it might seem counterintuitive. But the less you talk about yourself and the less you reveal up front, the more it draws people in.

The world gravitates towards depth. Not shallow plays at status and virtue signaling.

“Silence is a form of absence and withdrawal that draws attention; it spells self-control and power.”

Robert Greene

This is not to say that you should become a hermit and refuse to reveal anything about yourself in conversation. But it is to say that you should use discretion. If you’re able to refrain from oversharing, you provide yourself an opportunity to get beyond your ego. This allows you to actually listen to the person in front of you or shift your focus towards the work that matters.

Live by your principles, not by status.

Meaningful progress and satisfaction come from deep work and realizing your own potential. In my case, it came from the music itself. And now it comes from quiet moments of writing. It’s the creative process that keeps me going. And I know I can sustain that indefinitely. It’s independent of the fleeting highs of recognition.

Pursue the things you love, create meaningful work, and let people find out on their own terms. Whatever you have to say will be far more effective when you’re not using brute force to get your message across.

The further you can distance yourself from your ego or your obsession with personal brand, the greater respect you’ll demand. More action, less talk. Reveal your depth little by little. That’s how you draw people in, build lasting relationships, and create something that strikes a deeper chord in others.

And for God’s sake, please don’t walk around telling people you’re a singer-songwriter.

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Each of us has the capacity to face difficult work. In many ways, this defines life. The struggle to create something of our own is where we find meaning.

Our modern era of comfort and convenience can be a double-edged sword. It’s allowed us to eliminate the daily struggle for survival and afforded us the privilege of having this discussion. But when taken to an extreme, it leads to a deep anxiety and restlessness. Emptiness can be a fiercer foe than hardship.

“Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary.” Sebastian Junger

It’s easy to sit by as a passive consumer and allow someone else to assume the risk. On a surface level, it might even appear that you’re reaping all the benefits. But if you fail to establish a creative outlet where you can build something of your own, you sacrifice your primary source of meaning along with it.

It’s through the work you put out into the world and the way you live that you instill your life with a sense of meaning. By creating more and consuming less you claim a larger part of yourself.

Those who have lived remarkable lives hold this philosophy in constant focus.

Into the Venezuelan Jungle

When Alexander von Humboldt was born in 1769 to a family of wealthy Prussian aristocrats, by all standards of the day, he had it made. His father was an army officer and advisor to King Friedrich Wilhelm II, and his mother was the daughter of a rich manufacturer. If he wanted a comfortable existence, all he had to do was sit back and stay the course.

But despite these advantages, he was anxious and unhappy for most of his early years. His adventurous spirit was never satisfied by the confines of a classroom or the promise of a lucrative career as a civil servant. His dream was to explore the natural world.

As a child, Humboldt was fascinated with the journals of Captain James Cook and his accounts of distant countries and cultures. Humboldt wandered the Berlin countryside to recreate adventures of his own, stuffing his pockets full of plants, rocks, and insects, earning the nickname ‘the little apothecary.’

But after his father died at the age of nine, his financial dependence on his emotionally distant mother allowed her to dictate much of the early, unfulfilling course of his life. Despite his objections, she demanded that he work his way up the ranks of the Prussian administration.

Humboldt found creative ways to channel his deep interest in science, geology, and languages at different universities and academies along the way. He poured over the work of various artists, botanists, explorers, and thinkers. And while each provided inspiration, it was not enough to fill the void he faced for the first twenty-seven years of his life.

Humboldt was torn between the expectations of his family and his insatiable desire to set sail, experience the world firsthand, and contribute something of his own to the scientific community. He lacked an outlet to discover and create in a way that resonated with him. Without this, an emptiness continued to build.

It was only after his mother’s death in 1796 that he felt in control of his own destiny. Longing to escape his tiny corner of the world, he began planning a voyage to South America.

At age thirty, Humboldt set off on the expedition which altered the course of his life. He would explore treacherous landscapes that no scientist had set foot in before. The driving force was his desire to piecing together a more cohesive understanding of the natural world. Most scientists of his day were focused on isolated disciplines. Humboldt was interested in bridging the divide and the interconnected whole.

After arriving in Venezuela, Humboldt trekked for two months across the tropical grasslands of Los Llanos, facing temperatures near 120 degrees Fahrenheit. He followed this with seventy-five days of grueling river travel down the Orinoco, covering 1400 miles to reach the Casiquiare canal–a natural tributary between the Orinoco and Amazon rivers. Along the way, he faced torrential rains, incessant mosquitos, the occasional jaguar, and bouts with fevers and dysentery.

This would seem disheartening to most, but Humboldt came alive with boundless energy and enthusiasm during these explorations. No matter the conditions, he insisted on measuring the height of mountains, determining longitude and latitude, taking temperatures of the air and water, making astronomical observations, collecting new species of plants, and documenting it all with detailed notes. Each new environment brought him closer to understanding how the natural world fit together.

The pinnacle of his experience in South America came during a 2,500-mile journey from Cartagena to Lima to explore the Andean Mountains. During this trip, he attempted to summit Chimborazo, an inactive volcano standing at 21,000 feet.

At 15,600 feet, the porters refused to go on. But Humboldt continued his ascent, fighting through freezing conditions, deep fields of snow, and altitude sickness. Without fail, every few hundred feet he stopped and fumbled with freezing hands to set up his instruments to measure temperature, humidity, altitude, and boiling points. He reached 19,286 feet–a world record at the time–before he was forced to turn around due to impassable conditions.

This experience inspired Humboldt to sketch ‘Naturgemälde,’ a depiction of Chimborazo’s cross sections with the distribution of vegetation, temperature, humidity, and atmospheric pressure according to altitude. Humboldt showed for the first time that nature was a global force with corresponding climate zones across continents. And he presented it in an unprecedented infographic style, allowing those without a scientific background to understand the concept.

Upon his return to Europe, Humboldt’s exploration of South America inspired him to write thousands of letters, essays, publications, and lectures. By making connections and framing nature as a unified whole, his work revolutionized the way we view the natural world. As an interesting aside, he was also the first to observe and describe human-induced climate change.

Humboldt inspired generations of scientists and writers including Charles Darwin, Henry David Thoreau, and John Muir. But his greatest contribution was making science more accessible and exciting to a broader audience.

In Berlin, his series of free lectures packed music and university halls with royal family, students, servants, women, and children. He took his audience on a journey that ignited their imagination–combining exact observation with painterly descriptions. He brought distant landscapes to life through poetry, geology, and astronomy, bridging the divide between art and science.

Humboldt continued exploration into his sixties with a 10,000 mile, six-month journey through Russia. He was invigorated by each expedition, showing the same youthful energy and endurance that he had thirty years earlier. He shared his learnings in publications and letters up until his final moments when he died in 1859 at the age of eighty-nine.

The Struggle to Create

Humboldt could have settled into his early existence, lived a comfortable life, and allowed others to assume the risk in their own research and exploration. But this shallow life wasn’t enough for him. Instead, he set out with an insatiable curiosity to better understand the natural world and contribute what he learned along the way.

His adventures were his outlet for creativity, discovery, and meaning. There’s nothing easy about a 2,500-mile trek through the Andes. But the struggle to study and create something that resonated with him at a deeper level brought him to life. Without this, he would have never found his own sense of authenticity and fulfillment.

Creativity is about finding something worth struggling for.

We live in a unique time. Most of us, like Humboldt, could coast through life without facing any significant hardship if we so chose. That’s a wonderful thing. But it collapses into its opposite when we allow our entire lives to be dictated by comfort and immediate gratification. We must not forget the importance of meaning, which is found through the struggle to create something of our own.

Spending the evening watching four episodes of your favorite show on Netflix or scrolling through Instagram might be the path of least resistance, but it’s mostly empty. There’s little opportunity to create meaning of your own. More often than not it’s a distraction that pulls you away from the things that actually matter.

Your unique identifiers are the work you put out into the world and the way you live your life. These are what add depth to your voice. Not the things you consume–fashion, film, food, music, research, sports, technology.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t appreciate other people’s original work. But you should use it as inspiration. It should serve as a catalyst for you to create more and find alignment in your own sense of authenticity. It’s the height of selfishness to expect other people to create meaningful work for your personal benefit without contributing anything of your own.

Creating begins with making yourself an essential part of the process. Not standing by as a passive consumer and allowing someone else to take the risk.

But don’t let anyone fool you, creating is challenging, uncomfortable, and a slow grind. There’s no way around it. That’s why most people fail to sustain the habit. You have to trust your capacity to suffer. But it’s where all the upside is found.

Endurance, Imagination, and Depth

When you prioritize creating something of your own, you give yourself more opportunities for peak experiences and claim a larger part of yourself–just as Humboldt did at the age of twenty-seven when he shifted the course of his life. This is infinitely more satisfying than the temporary highs of a consumer.

By creating more and consuming less, you add an unusual depth to your voice that draws people in. Your creative outlet is where you are able to channel the questions and struggles you’ve faced into something that offers profound insight. And that’s what life is all about.

Whether you forgo a life of privilege to trek through the Venezuelan jungle or you set aside Instagram so you can focus on your art, science, startup, or relationship with the person right in front of you, what matters is that you provide yourself an opportunity to create.

Those who make a measurable difference in the world are inspired to contribute something of their own. Instead of taking the easy route–opting for comfort and immediate gratification–they push themselves further into the unknown.

Human nature has given us remarkable endurance to face difficult work and the imagination to build something from nothing. It’s through this struggle to create that we instill our lives with a sense of meaning.

To find your sense of authenticity and fulfillment, you must fight to create more.

*If you want to learn more about Alexander von Humboldt, check out The Invention of Nature: Alexander von Humboldt’s New World by Andrea Wulf. It’s a tremendous read and the source of many details in this article.

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Authenticity is not a fixed point on a map. It’s fluid, much like your identity, and shifts over the course of your life.

It’s easier to trick yourself into believing the feel-good advice that your voice comes from a sudden revelation. You just have to wait for that moment. And once you’ve found it, the entire picture comes into focus and remains that way for life.

But authenticity is found through fragments. It evolves over time. It’s a moving target that falls out of focus and can be lost to the chaos of life.

Authenticity is less about identifying a singular purpose and voice that should define your entire life. It’s about finding and trusting your voice today. In other words, embracing the impermanence of your identity, knowing that it can and will change.

How you live your life–your interests, principles, and priorities–will evolve over time. As you grow, you’ll add depth to your voice. If you remain the same for too long, that’s when you know you’ve stopped learning or are clinging to an expired version of yourself.

It’s easy to get caught up in the expectations you hold for yourself or that others project upon you– who you should be, where you have been. If you fuel these doubts, you can opt out of the unknown and find comfort in your plateau. But you won’t grow through the familiar, and you won’t find alignment.

Your sense of authenticity–your now–is something that’s all your own. It’s discovered, developed, and deepened, by the obstacles you face, the uncertainties you navigate, and the inspiration you find along the way.

If you want to create something that matters–to both yourself and others–you have to create from where you currently are in your life. That’s how you build momentum and depth. Trust yourself.

It’s the difference between artists and entrepreneurs who get lucky once and those who sustain success over decades. If you cling to what got you there in the first place, you’ll fail to evolve and render yourself irrelevant.

Artists who reinvent themselves fight for projects that allow them to grow, stretch their abilities, and discover new things. In doing so, they create from a place that resonates with them at a single point in time.

Over the course of years, a series of single brush strokes reveals an evolving sense of authenticity.

Bob Dylan, one of history’s great songwriters, has reinvented himself time and time again throughout his career. He’s altered his voice and bridged various genres, beginning in folk, shifting towards rock, and experimenting with country and Christian albums along the way.

Five decades later we can step back and admire his trajectory–how he’s pushed himself to grow, defy expectations, and channel that into his art. Time makes this seem inevitable, as if all he had to do was fall in line with destiny. But that fails to take into account the years of criticism, outrage, and uncertainty Dylan faced.

Authenticity–creating from who you are today, despite expectations tearing you in different directions–is not for the faint of heart.

Dylan threw the folk community into a fit of rage when he “went electric.” He could have stuck with what was working and fallen in line with their expectations, but validation was never his primary motivation. He sought meaning over influence at each step of his career. As a result, he achieved exactly that–lifelong influence.

Dylan resonates with people because his songwriting tracks his own development as a human being. His songs reflect who he was–his observations, experiences, and imagination–and who he refused to be at each point in time. Dylan’s career is a master class in embracing the impermanence of identity and authenticity. The fragments of himself that he brought to life shows he understands this in a deep way.

“There were a lot of better singers and better musicians around these places but there wasn’t anybody close in nature to what I was doing. Folk songs were the way I explored the universe…” Bob Dylan

There’s no single template for finding your voice as it exists today. It’s different for each person. Legendary director, Steven Spielberg, was quite different from Dylan. Dylan had unusual depth which he developed at an early age. Spielberg developed his own sense of depth over decades.

Spielberg’s progression from Jaws (1975) to Schindler’s List (1993) demonstrates this. In those eighteen years, he grew by finding projects that spoke to him at a specific point in time. What felt authentic to him in 1965 was entirely different than 1993. That doesn’t negate his early work, he was just creating from a different place.

Spielberg’s voice evolved through his films, just as Dylan’s did through his albums. That’s why they’ve remained relevant for so many years. They’ve changed, adapted, and grown. But most importantly, both have had the courage to speak from where they were in each present moment.

Both faced criticism along the way for unpopular decisions, but that’s the irony of the whole thing. People are enraged by change, but if you stay the same you guarantee failure. You lose touch with yourself, a sense of fulfillment in your work, and a deeper connection to your audience.

Before you release your work into the wild, fight like hell to make sure it first resonates with you.

No one gets it right each time. There will be times you lose your sense of authenticity. Not even Dylan and Spielberg are immune to the chaos of life. But when the intention and awareness are there, it’s easier to rebuild and rediscover a sense of momentum.

Life is motion. Authenticity is about finding harmony in that motion.

It’s not always easy, but it’s meaningful. Allow yourself to evolve through uncertainty. When you find the courage to speak from this place, you add unusual depth and clarity to your voice. That’s what draws people in.

Start by reflecting on what resonates with you at this point in your life–experiences, interests, observations, values. Authenticity is your now. No matter where you are, trust yourself to create from who you are today.

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Authenticity Is Your Now was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There’s nothing that writers love more than reading about writing (although, reading about reading comes in at a close second). Everyone’s looking for a universal secret that sets apart the best writers or makes the writing process easier. Unfortunately, that secret doesn’t exist.

The only consistency I have found across all great writers is that they show up. They define themselves by an insatiable desire to write–it’s a core part of their routine and they put in the work every single day.

While you might not self-identify as a “writer,” that’s okay. Journaling for reflection, working on your communication skills, and piecing together a 300-page novel are each valid objectives. But if you want to improve your writing–the foundational skill to each of these–you have to consistently show up, work at it, and make it part of your routine.

Over the past year, quite a few people have reached out asking for details on my own writing process. While I consider my writing skills to be a work in progress, this is my attempt to detail what my current system looks like. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but my hope is to provide you with a few tactics that you might leverage on your own.

Takeaways:

1. Reading, writing and learning fuel each other. Channel your intellectual curiosity and you’ll never face a shortage of ideas.
2. Timing is important but it’s not everything. Determine what’s sustainable for you and stick with that.
3. Writing is about momentum and a relaxed state of concentration. Don’t interrupt this unnecessarily.
4. Editing demands grit. It’s here where the great writers set themselves apart.

How do you come up with ideas?

Reading, writing, and learning fuel each other. Anytime I’ve struggled to come up with new ideas, it’s almost always because I’m not reading enough or challenging myself to learn anything new. If you channel your intellectual curiosity, this problem takes care of itself.

Read, listen to podcasts, make sure you’re learning something new in every environment you’re in. This is how you begin building a network of mental models which allows you to uncover new ideas and connect concepts in interesting ways.

When you commit time to pursue knowledge and exercise your own curiosity–in whatever form that takes–you’ll never face a shortage of new material and ideas to choose from.

I keep a running list of all my ideas, potential topics, and relevant thoughts in Notes (iOS) and Evernote. This way I don’t lose track of anything that comes to me throughout the day.

When do you write?

Timing is important, but it’s not everything. It can either be an excuse to avoid putting in the work, or it can be turned to your advantage.

While many great writers have tended to write early in the morning, you shouldn’t obsess over replicating their routines. Find what works and is sustainable, for you. The most important thing is getting started.

Once you’re in the habit of writing, if you want to fine-tune your process, consider your internal clock. Writing is an intensive, creative process that demands significant focus. If at all possible, pick a time of the day when you’re at your peak level of concentration. Otherwise, it will be tough to sustain.

I’m a morning person–my most productive hours are between 6:30 and 10:30 AM. Each morning I wake up at 6:00 AM and write for at least a couple hours before heading into work. I guard this time seven days a week, as it’s the most important part of the day for me. Weekends are slightly different, with a few hours of writing in the morning, and a second shorter session at a coffee shop in the afternoon.

This will inevitably change over time as your position in life changes. Five years ago, I was the exact opposite and only wrote at night. Allow yourself to adapt, but make sure you don’t lose the habit.

What does your writing process look like?

Sometimes I begin writing an article because I have a general idea of what I want to say. Other times, I’m trying to figure something out for myself. Either way, for me, writing is about momentum.

When I sit down to work through a new idea, I’m not writing for structure or format. I’m not writing to assemble a cohesive argument. And I’m not writing from an outline. I’m writing to get every relevant thought I have on that topic down on paper. For a single article, this can take anywhere from an hour to a few days.

The motivation during this initial phase is to get to a place where I’m not thinking about the act of writing. If I start thinking too much about what I’m doing, I can’t achieve a state of relaxed concentration where I am at my most creative and coming up with my best work.

“As one achieves focus, the mind quiets. As the mind is kept in the present, it becomes calm. Focus means keeping the mind now and here. Relaxed concentration is the supreme art because no art can be achieved without it.”
–W. Timothy Gallwey

Other than my initial approach, I’ve found a couple tactics that help facilitate this momentum, flow, relaxed concentration–whatever you want to call it.

The first is that I’ll listen to the same song for hours on end to help induce a deeper state of creativity. I’ve found that listening to one song on repeat often helps jumpstart things and push me towards the proper state of mind. I’m not the first one to discover this, it seems quite popular among writers and software developers.

The second tactic I use is to help steal some sense of momentum when things have stalled. To overcome inevitable lulls, I’ll double back and rewrite the previous sentence or two. It’s a mental thing where I feel like I can carry that energy through better if I’m able to create some type of forward motion.

Think of it as riding your bike up a hill. If you mount your bike in the middle of a hill, it can be difficult to make your way to the top based on the immediate level of resistance. Whereas if you start at the bottom (less resistance) and build some momentum going into the climb, you’ll be able to better carry that through to the top. It’s amazing how often this gets me back on track heading into a new section.

How do you edit/refine your articles?

This is where the attention to detail comes into play. My rough drafts are very rough drafts. As a result, I spend a significant amount of time editing, rewriting, and refining.

After I have all my thoughts down, I go back through the material to identify common themes and distill the most important ideas. Certain insights may (or may not) appear, and I’ll draw from those as I begin to organize the article.

I’m never finished writing at this point. Often, there’s quite a bit of work to be done. After I’ve arranged the article and developed some sense of structure, I’ll go back and immerse myself in certain sections so I’m able to simplify ideas. Again, if I get stuck I’ll use the tactics mentioned above to capture the same sense of flow I had during the initial writing process.

This part of the creative process often feels similar to a puzzle. You’re piecing together fragments and determining how they best fit together.

It’s in the process of uncovering and assembling those fragments that you find yourself and your best ideas in.

From the outside, writing appears romantic. You just pour your ideas onto a page then call it a day. But those who live it know the grit it entails. The editing process demands the greatest persistence of all. And it’s never something you can rush through.

“Grit entails working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress. The gritty individual approaches achievement as a marathon, his or her advantage is stamina. Whereas disappointment or boredom signals to others that it is time to change trajectory and cut losses, the gritty individual stays the course.”
–Angela Duckworth

No one is above this final piece of the writing process–not even the greats. Ernest Hemingway rewrote the ending of A Farewell to Arms 47 times. Harper Lee spent two years working with her editor, Tay Hohoff, reworking the entire plot and cast of characters in what would become To Kill A Mockingbird.

It’s foolish to expect perfection each time you sit down to write. If you get to the point where you’ve stared at what you’ve written for too long and begin to hate it, step away for a few days.

Time and distance are often the true tests of quality.

But regardless of your objective, the most important part is sitting down to practice the craft.

Writing is not about some stroke of genius and it’s not pretty. It’s about grit, showing up, writing, editing, rewriting, and refining.

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Behind almost everything I’ve done in my 20s there’s been a single motivating factor–discovering what it means to live well. By living well I don’t mean extravagantly. I mean determining what I want out of life, living in a way that aligns with those values and principles, and learning in everything I do. In other words, striving to be the best version of myself.

While there will be inevitable ups and downs, no matter where you are, you want to be able to step back and see a clear upward trajectory which tracks the course of your life.

The best way to ensure this is by learning from your failures, putting in the work, and aspiring to be at your best. There will be days, weeks, even months, when things might seem to stagnate or head in the opposite direction, but you need the mental toughness to adapt and push yourself towards progress, as defined by you.

With my 30th birthday in sight, I’ve narrowed in on a few hard-fought, as well as mind-numbingly simple lessons, which have helped me establish a sense of this trajectory. I don’t presume to have all the answers. These are just the lessons that have resonated strongest with me over the past decade. Remember, there’s no “right” path, but I hope these prove useful as you find your own way.

1. Get the essentials down first

If you expect to feel good and achieve anything in your life, you need to prioritize sleep, exercise and eating well. These are the non-negotiables. You can’t neglect yourself and expect to function at a high level. This is foundational to everything else on this list.

2. Limit the number of do-overs

Don’t underestimate the power of avoiding dumb decisions. Most of the trouble that people run into is self-inflicted. There are enough obstacles ahead of you as is, don’t create extra work for yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to be brilliant in every decision you make, just avoid the big mistakes. Focus on making well-rounded, rational decisions each day, and allow compound interest to run its course.

3. There is no way things are “supposed to be”

The sooner you give up an imagined reality, the better you’ll be able to negotiate the way forward. Close the gap by differentiating between internal and external expectations and assigning each their proper weight. Prioritizing internal expectations is the path towards gratitude and self-sufficiency. External expectations introduce dependencies. Don’t place a premium on things you can’t affect.

4. Create more, consume less

What you consume doesn’t make you unique. The fact that you’re a fan of the Golden State Warriors, listen to Ed Sheeran, watch Game of Thrones, and only buy Apple products, are not unique identifiers. What you create and what you’re putting out into the world is what defines you.

5. Life is a single player game

You can’t expect to retain your sanity if you insist on comparing yourself to people heading in an entirely different direction. Measure you against you.

6. There is no substitute for true resourcefulness

One of the biggest obstacles I faced when I took my first job out of college was my inability to handle ambiguity and uncertainty. The predictability of the curriculum and instruction in school won’t do you any favors here. As it turns out, life is far more about resourcefulness than a checklist of prescribed actions. You must learn to adapt, teach yourself, and create your own momentum. There is no blueprint to walk you through every step of your life.

7. Put in the self-work

It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it. Your 20s should be a decade primarily dedicated to yourself so you can figure your shit out. Before you enter into any relationship or realize any of your aspirations–if you don’t want them to go up in flames–you need to be self-aware and self-sufficient.

8. Directions in life are mutually exclusive

For the first half of my 20s I wanted to be everything, so I was unable to commit to anything. But the earlier you cross the irrelevant off your list, the faster you’ll be able to make meaningful progress and give your complete attention to the things you can’t live without. If you’re unsure where to start, try this exercise from Warren Buffett and double down on those things.

9. JOMO (joy of missing out) > FOMO (fear of missing out)

“FOMO” is another way of saying you’re incapable of prioritizing–you want to be everything and everywhere, which is an impossibility. Once you’ve figured out what’s important to you, passing on unnecessary obligations or engagements which you’re not invested in will be a source of great satisfaction.

10. What you walk away from defines you as much as the things you stick out

Whenever you encounter a moment of self-doubt or the urge to quit, ask yourself, do you feel like quitting because it’s difficult? Or do you feel like quitting because it contradicts your character, values, or priorities? The former means you should stick it out, the latter means it’s time to call it quits.

11. Growth is nonlinear

As Nassim Taleb explains in Fooled by Randomness, nonlinear relationships are the rule, not the exception. We mistakingly believe that if two variables are causally linked, a steady input in one should result in a positive linear progression in the other. Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t always expect visible progress when comparing one day to the next. You might have to dedicate years to your craft before something clicks. Remember, it’s your overall trajectory that matters, not the noise you encounter on a daily basis. The shorter the time frame, the more variance there will be–focus on the big picture.

12. Figure out what you can sustain indefinitely

That’s what it’s going take to set yourself apart. Most people drop off at the first sign of adversity or boredom, outlast them.

13. Leverage compound interest

The power of compound interest applies to almost everything in life, not just financial investments. For most hard-working, talented people it’s just a matter of time. Years of consistently showing up, learning, and dedicating time to your craft will pay dividends. The power of small, calculated decisions, habits, and behaviors grows exponentially over time.

14. Physical endurance builds mental endurance

Most people live in fear of the slightest discomfort or inconvenience. If you’re able to practice consistently pushing yourself to the point of discomfort and sustaining at that level, you begin to build resilience. In this regard, physical endurance translates into mental toughness.

15. Lasting comfort is found by embracing discomfort

Intermittent periods of discomfort prepare you to handle a wider range of potential scenarios. This helps you expand the confines of your current comfort zone and, ultimately, experience less discomfort than those who cling to convenience and familiarity. The latter find themselves in positions of considerable vulnerability–rigid and unable to adapt. This is the paradox of comfort.

16. Stillness is the best lesson traveling will teach you

I was an insatiable traveler for most of my 20s, visiting 25 countries and four continents. The only thing I’ve found more fulfilling than travel is learning to be still and content at home. Travel, go see the world, live somewhere new–otherwise, you’ll regret it later on. But this should lay the foundation for you to find peace in your future immediate surroundings. And this is the real value of experiences gained from travel–they help you build a broader perspective and a stronger sense of identity and appreciation at home. There’s nothing more fulfilling than the sense of gratitude that comes from moments when you’re content right with being right where you are.

17. Get a dog

Very few things have had a more profound, positive impact on my life. Presence, patience, empathy, joy–a dog will remind you of these values every single day.

18. Read like your life depends on it

To quote Naval Ravikant, once, “The genuine love for reading itself, when cultivated, is a superpower. The means of learning are abundant–it’s the desire to learn that is scarce. Cultivate that desire by reading what you want.” And twice, “Reading science, math, and philosophy one hour per day will likely put you at the upper echelon of human success within seven years.” The power of compound interest applies as much to reading and building better mental models as anything else.

19. No one alive has all the right answers

Avoid the urge to overidentify and reach for absolutes. Learn to live in the gray area. That’s what separates lifelong learners from pretenders.

20. General advice > specific advice

You will encounter mentors who want to prescribe specific advice. For the most part, it’s ineffective, because there is no single path to success. You will never be able to replicate the lives of those you admire. But you can examine the systems and mental models that give them their edge. This is where you’ll find the truly valuable lessons that you can apply to your own life, direction, and decision making.

21. Avoid ideologies at all costs

As Charlie Munger suggests, “Heavy ideology is one of the most extreme distorters of human cognition.” There’s no better way to impair your own rationality and decision making. Ideologies will drive you towards confirmation bias and close-mindedness.

22. Legacy is a mirage

If you have any sense of historical perspective, you’ll realize that you won’t be remembered. The desire for legacy is narcissism in disguise. This realization should be empowering, not disheartening. It will allow you to go out and make a difference now, instead of attempting to preserve some future image of yourself when you won’t be around to reap any of its benefits.

23. “In victory, learn when to stop.”

Drifting expectations are dangerous. This is one of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. You have to allow yourself time to reflect on what you have and how far you’ve come. Those who refuse to come to terms with this lesson find themselves as textbook examples of hubris, brought down by the same insatiability and arrogance that led them on an accelerated, unsustainable path towards the top. This is the reason people lose fortunes, families crumble, companies self-destruct, empires fall. More is not always the answer. Know when you’ve won.

24. Money matters

In The Geometry of Wealth, Brian Portnoy explains that wealth and investing are about funding contentment and underwriting a meaningful life, as defined by you. Not about getting rich, having “more,” and losing yourself on the hedonic treadmill. There is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to the impact of income on experiential happiness (around $75,000), but there is no cap on reflective happiness. Wealth is a tool to achieve freedom, self-sufficiency, and spend your time exactly how you want to.

25. You can’t have it all, but you can have what you prioritize

Don’t try to keep up with those living an extravagant lifestyle. If your goal is to fund your own contentment and underwrite a meaningful life, you need to figure out what’s most important to you. Spend money on those things, without hesitation, and invest in yourself. Live frugally and cut costs everywhere else.

26. Moderation is king

This is the single most important value no one has told you about. Avoid excess. As a society, we pride ourselves on extremes. But even our virtues, when taken too far, collapse into their opposite–crippling flaws in character. Find the golden mean.

27. Everyone is facing their own adversity

I’m reminded of this on an almost weekly basis. The carefully curated versions people project of themselves on social media don’t reflect what’s actually going on in their lives. You never know what someone’s going through or what they’ve been through. Be kind.

28. Commit to the people who share your most important values

I can’t say it better than Ray Dalio, “When you have alignment, cherish it. While there is nobody in the world who will share your point of view on everything, there are people who will share your most important values and the ways in which you choose to live them out. Make sure you end up with those people.”

29. Build a philosophy of life that works for you

Philosophy is about the art of living. It will make these lessons easier if you have a reference point that reflects your most important values and principles. For me, this is a version of Stoicism. Go out there and find one that works for you, or create your own. Whatever you do, establish one, because this adds purpose, direction, and serves as a constant reminder of what’s worth attaining in life.

30. There’s no secret to happiness, other than gratitude

The single trait that the happiest people all have in common is a profound sense of gratitude. They wake up in the morning and feel lucky, with an appreciation for life and their current position. I achieve this by reflecting on all the good things I have, worst-case scenarios, and the finer details in my immediate surroundings.

The only true failures in life are moments of apathy or defiance, when you’re unwilling to learn. Knowledge and experience count for little if you’re unable to commit them as life lessons.

Determine what you want out of life, live in a way that aligns with those values, and never stop learning. That’s what it takes if you want to discover what it means to live well and maintain an upward trajectory over the course of your life. Go out and find the lessons that resonate strongest with you.

Sharpen your strategic mind, take thoughtful action, and live on your own terms. Unlock your FREE copy of my latest ebook, 7 Strategies to Navigate the Noise 📕👆

30 Lessons for Living at Your Best by 30 was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

If there’s a defining feature that sets apart smart creatives who are able to sustain themselves at a high level of performance, it’s thick skin. They’re persistent in their work and resilient to outside opinion and rejection. They’re able to put themselves out there, time and time again, and deliver. And while this might appear to be a natural talent, it’s far from it. It’s a skill that takes years to develop, and it begins with renegotiating expectations.

Many talented people struggle with this–entrepreneurs, artists, athletes, writers. While they might be brilliant in their work, when it comes to putting themselves out there, they end up demoralized or enraged by the slightest hint of criticism.

This becomes a downward spiral that throws off the entire creative process. Even if you are able to correct course, it’s an unnecessary distraction that disrupts your focus and pulls you away from more meaningful work.

Internal vs. External Expectations

To offset this and develop the thick skin required to put yourself out there, you must first differentiate between internal and external expectations, assigning each their proper weight. Internal expectations–the expectations you hold for yourself and your creative process–should always take precedence.

How your work is interpreted, received, or recognized, is beyond your immediate influence. It’s not that this is completely irrelevant, but it should matter far less because it’s an unreliable metric against which to measure yourself. The greater the importance you assign to external expectations, the more dependencies you introduce, and the higher the likelihood that you’ll end up pissed off, burned out, or distracted from the work that matters most.

Self-sufficiency is the path towards effectively managing expectations. In the opposite direction are dependencies–evidence of placing a premium on things you can’t affect.

When you prioritize the internal expectations you hold for yourself, you naturally develop the thick skin required to put yourself out there and consistently produce at a high level. Instead of seeking value in the recognition, you begin seeking value in the creative process itself. And this is the only sustainable path forward.

“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do.” Marcus Aurelius

Turn your attention back to what’s within your control. Put in the work. Focus on your craft. Create something that resonates with you. When you limit the external dependencies and surrounding noise, the more relaxed, concentrated, and effective you will be.

Feedback vs. Criticism

This is not to say that you shouldn’t seek feedback–which is critical to further developing and growing your skills. But feedback is to criticism as internal expectations are to external expectations.

In other words, the source is fundamentally different. Feedback comes from fellow creatives with skin in the game–the doers–who are taking risks by putting themselves and their work out there. These are the people whose opinions and judgment you should respect most. Criticism comes from insecure bystanders, shouting from a distance, who are incapable of creating anything meaningful of their own.

The intention behind feedback is also different. Criticism is often shallow and malicious in nature–focused on breaking you down. True feedback, from an inner circle whom you respect, is diligent, constructive, and objective. Its purpose is to challenge you to improve yourself and your craft.

In short, it’s about growth–which is a painstaking process in its own right–not about praise, telling you what you want to hear, or making things easier. It’s up to you to draw the line and determine who has your best interest in mind.

Create Your Own Momentum

When the inevitable criticism does come, use it as motivation and redirect that energy to create momentum of your own. With the right perspective, it becomes almost laughable.

Consider how much time and energy it took that person to criticize you–it consumed them. Nothing is a more sad, ineffective use of time–so let the childish tantrums end there. Refuse to allow yourself to be distracted by those without skin in the game. Their opinion holds no validity.

“An opportunist in life sees all hindrances as instruments for power. The reason is simple: negative energy that comes at you in some form is energy that can be turned around–to defeat an opponent and lift you up.” Robert Greene

For most talented, hardworking people, it’s just a matter of time. Which means you need to find the energy to keep going–to continue creating. The more dialed into yourself that you are, the less outside opinion should matter, and the more resilient you’ll be in your creative process. If you rely on external validation to keep you going, you’re going to have a short career.

A meaningful, fulfilling creative life demands hard work and tough decisions. Those who aren’t cut out for it will lean towards the path of least resistance, as defined by mindless consumption or shallow criticism. It’s easy to live that life.

If easy is what you want out of life, feel free to join the ranks of the unremarkable.

But those who make a difference show up, bust their ass, and sustain themselves at that level by having their expectations in order. They’re able to differentiate between internal and external expectations, valuing self-sufficiency over dependencies and feedback over criticism.

If you take the time to develop these skills–resilience, persistence, and mental toughness–outside opinion will lose its grip and you’ll be able to better carry your own momentum forward.

Sharpen your strategic mind, take thoughtful action, and live on your own terms. Unlock your FREE copy of my latest ebook, 7 Strategies to Navigate the Noise 📕👆

The Secret to Developing Thick Skin was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Many of the smartest minds throughout history–those who have demonstrated mastery in their respective fields and contributed something meaningful to the world–have favored a multidisciplinary approach over specialization. They’ve recognized that the more flexible and wide-ranging your mental models, the stronger your cognitive abilities, and the less rigid your thinking. At an individual level, it’s not only more effective but also more fulfilling.

A multidisciplinary approach leads to resourcefulness, ingenuity, and resilience. It better prepares you to develop each of these skills, navigate inevitable obstacles, and build your own momentum. It’s the antithesis of confining yourself to a single discipline with a shallow skill-set and isolated mental models.

In fact, the defining feature of a multidisciplinary approach is its dynamic latticework of mental models. This is achieved by broad exposure to a range of subjects, which allows you to leverage and connect the most relevant knowledge from each. By positioning yourself at the intersection of multiple disciplines, you cultivate the ability to tie together seemingly unrelated concepts in a way the vast majority are incapable of. It’s here where the most creative, innovative ideas are discovered.

Last year I wrote an article on the beginner’s guide to a multidisciplinary approach and recommended four books for building better mental models. It resonated with quite a few people who were looking for an introduction to this concept. In revisiting this theme, I’ve wanted to provide a new reading list that’s even more accessible–each book is under 200 pages.

While this is in no way comprehensive, it is my hope that this will help you begin building your own framework across multiple disciplines. If you’re up for a short read, dig in.

1) The Obstacle Is the Way — by Ryan Holiday

One of the most accessible modern introductions to Stoic philosophy. Holiday examines the inevitable obstacles we all face in life, how to better frame them as opportunities to practice virtue and harness them to create momentum of our own. He structures the book around the three interconnected disciplines required to overcome any obstacle: perception, action, and will. There’s an incredible amount of knowledge packed into these 200 pages. No matter what challenges you face or where you’re trying to go, it’s a great resource for fine tuning your attitude, strategy, and mental toughness. Inspired by Marcus Aurelius, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

“Talent is not the most sought-after characteristic. Grace and poise are, because these two attributes precede the opportunity to deploy any other skill.” –Ryan Holiday

2) The Geometry of Wealth—by Brian Portnoy

A look into the relationship between money and meaning. Portnoy suggests that wealth and investing are about funding contentment and underwriting a meaningful life, as defined by you. Not about getting rich, having “more,” and losing yourself on the hedonic treadmill. He explains that simplification is the path towards effectively managing expectations in money and life–and the trajectory of a happy life is shaped by expectations. The Geometry of Wealth is as practical as it is philosophical. À la Charlie Munger, Portnoy emphasizes individual behavior, mainly self-control and self-awareness, as the most important factor in investment success. He suggests we focus on being “less wrong” over being “more right,” in the sense that asset allocation is far more important than security selection and market timing. But on the path towards adaptive simplicity in investing, he also digs deeper into its importance in our broader lives, offering an enlightened discussion of experienced vs. reflective happiness, expectations, and human nature.

“The ‘good life’ is not the tweak of ephemeral pleasure, but the engagement with more meaningful, virtuous pursuits. Momentary pleasures are distinct from the enduring gravity of meaningful experience.” –Brian Portnoy

3) The Bed of Procrustes — by Nassim Taleb

Great introduction to Taleb’s ideas on uncertainty, which he discusses in detail in his other books that make up the Incerto series: Antifragile, Fooled by Randomness, and The Black Swan. This book offers a succinct look into how we deal with what we don’t know. Taleb considers our tendency to package and reduce ideas into neat narratives that fit within the constraints of our limited knowledge. I would argue that he’s one of the most original, brilliant minds of our time.

“Knowledge is subtractive, not additive–what we subtract (reduction by what does not work, what not to do), not what we add (what to do).” –Nassim Nicholas Taleb

4) Real Artists Don’t Starve — by Jeff Goins

Practical and refreshing resource for smart creatives and entrepreneurs. Goins picks apart the myths surrounding the Starving Artist and offers an improved alternative of the Thriving Artist. There are dozens of useful rules of thumb you can apply to your own position, no matter where you are. Thriving Artists build their creative dreams step by step (not overnight). They focus on rearrangement and building upon the work of those who have influenced them (not obsessing over originality). They leverage their existing jobs for resources (not quitting too early and without reason). They recognize the value of a multidisciplinary approach and multiple revenue streams (not mastering a single skill and risking it all on a single bet). Goins follows this same pattern throughout the book, detailing the difference in mindsets, how to position yourself in the market, and how to make a living. It’s a modern-day guide for living a better, more creative life, without struggling for the sake of struggling.

“Thriving Artists don’t just live off their art. Like good investors, they keep diverse portfolios, relying on multiple income streams to make a living. Rarely do they go all in on any single area of work. The challenge, then, is knowing what investments to make and when.” –Jeff Goins

5) The Inner Game of Tennis — by W. Timothy Gallwey

I’m usually skeptical of anything that remotely resembles sports as a metaphor for life, but this a tremendous read. It’s less a book about tennis (although there are a few sections) and more about the art of relaxed concentration. It’s a simple but profound concept that suggests the secret to performing your best is in developing a quiet confidence, and most importantly, not trying too hard. Gallwey draws a line between Self 1–the conscious teller, and Self 2–the doer. He advocates developing greater trust in Self 2, which helps to cultivate effortless concentration (flow), instead of a more tense, overly controlled approach which creates an unnecessary obstacle. Gallwey also offers an insightful perspective as he digs deeper into concepts including judgment, awareness, ego, and mindfulness, which adds another dimension to the book.

“The player of the inner game comes to value the art of relaxed concentration above all other skills; he discovers a true basis for self-confidence; and he learns that the secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard.” –W. Timothy Gallwey

6) Tribe — by Sebastian Junger

Clear, concise, and thought-provoking read that examines the struggle to find loyalty, belonging, and meaning in modern society. Junger spotlights military veterans and the growing rates of post-traumatic stress disorder, but he also takes a step back to examine the human condition at large. He discusses hardship, raw experiences, social bonds, community, mental health, and what we can learn from tribal societies. Tribe explains that there are three essential needs that must be met if we wish to feel content–the need to feel competent at what we do, the need to feel authentic in our lives, and the need to feel connected to others. Junger considers the effects of their absence and makes a compelling case that we should strive to rediscover and prioritize their importance.

“Human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others.” –Sebastian Junger

Sharpen your strategic mind, take thoughtful action, and live on your own terms. Unlock your FREE copy of my latest ebook, 7 Strategies to Navigate the Noise 📕👆

Top 6 Books for Better Mental Models (<200 pages) was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

One of the biggest fears that many hardworking, talented people have is that if they ease up in any facet of their lives, they’ll lose their edge. It’s a myth that’s fueled by a failure to differentiate between internal and external expectations. If you want to be at your best, it’s important to make this distinction and assign each their proper weight.

If you’ve convinced yourself that your edge comes from orchestrating external factors–things that are by nature beyond your control–that’s your ego taking over. This mindset is what pushes people to high strung, compulsive, and rigid behavior. Attempting to inflict your will with brute force and control every variable will drive you to exhaustion.

What keeps you ahead is not a state of constant dissatisfaction and the excessive demands you place upon the world. And while you might be quick to dismiss this as the ‘slackers credo’ of aiming low, take a closer look. Renegotiating expectations has nothing to do with the trajectory of your aim. It’s about prioritization.

You do not control the actions of others, how your work is interpreted, the recognition you receive, the specific obstacles you face, or whether the perfect sequence of events unfolds immediately before you.

It’s not that these things don’t matter. But they should matter less. Because they aren’t what define your edge and they aren’t reliable metrics against which to measure yourself.

The greater importance you assign to these types of external expectations, the more dependencies you introduce, and the higher the likelihood that you’ll end up pissed off, burned out, and distracted from the work that matters most. While you might be able to influence these to an extent, any significant control you believe you possess over them is illusory.

Your real edge is in your persistence and your own abilities. Your inner drive is independent of external expectations–the two are not inextricably linked. You have to be able to separate these from one another, as the resourceful and antifragile know well.

Rather than compromising your edge, redefining internal and external expectations puts you at a significant advantage. You free yourself to focus back on the things you can actually affect–mainly, your actions, dedicating time to your craft, discovering meaning in your work, living in accordance with your principles, developing your own resourcefulness, navigating inevitable obstacles. This is the most accurate way to measure your own progress.

When you become reliant on someone or something else to determine a successful outcome or your personal sense of self-worth, you’re putting yourself in an impossible position. Dependencies introduce anxiety and envy.

The mentality of “if only X, Y, Z happened for me, that would solve everything” is more of a liability than it is an asset. And it doesn’t say much for your ability to prioritize. Why place a premium on things you can’t directly affect? You’re wasting your limited time and energy, which could be better allocated elsewhere.

What you should prioritize is a state of relaxed concentration. It’s here where your best work gets done.

When you turn your attention back to your own abilities and immerse yourself in the task at hand, the anxiety subsides. There’s something calming about putting in the work when it’s down to just you and your craft. It brings things back to self-discipline, self-expression, and the pursuit of meaning in your work, all of which are within your immediate grasp.

Most top performers, who once believed their insatiable, demanding tendencies to be their edge, will concede this with age. What you achieve in life is not conditional on your external expectations. They don’t make you better and they don’t guarantee success. There will always be other factors in play beyond your control, and that’s okay. What actually matters is your internal focus, the work you’re putting in, and the expectations you hold for yourself.

Renegotiating expectations doesn’t mean sacrificing personal aspirations or expecting less from yourself. And it doesn’t mean aiming low. It means aiming higher and demanding more–of yourself–and prioritizing that. Define yourself by substance. Not by luck or futile attempts to bend the world to your will.

When you differentiate between internal and external expectations–assigning each their proper weight–it’s not your edge that you’ll lose, it’s your angst. In its place, you’ll build gratitude and a greater capacity to focus on the work that resonates strongest with you. It’s here where you can make a real difference and develop the quiet confidence that it takes to create something meaningful.

Looking for your inner edge? Join my newsletter to receive my “Top 4 Books for Better Mental Models” as a welcome gift, just check your email.

The Myth of Losing Your Edge was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.