On the nineteenth of August, I turned twenty four, but right before it happened I was neither thinking about my accomplishments nor about my future goals.

By that point I have already spent the majority of the year being focused on those thoughts. As a result when the regular period of “re-evaluating your life” started, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I did not have any energy or desire left to keep on asking myself those questions and analyzing my life. I simply wanted to celebrate the fact that I existed. However, I spent a lot of time thinking that we are often made to believe that being ourselves is not enough.

As a result, instead of having self-confidence we are full of self-doubt and fear. I am convinced that we must be fully responsible for our lives, and that it is completely useless to blame someone else for our difficulties or failures, but I also believe that in order to solve a problem, one must figure out its origin. And its essence.

Since childhood, I have been told that I must be different. I must change the way I look: lose or gain some weight, grow my hair long or finally cut it, use less make-up because “why would a young girl need so much of it?” or use more make-up because “you seem to have extreme skin issues again”; dress differently from the way I wanted: to stop wearing short skirts or get rid of clothes that actually hid my body from the eyes of others, to stop wearing sneakers with dresses before everyone started doing it, to stop wearing all black or stop wearing so many bright colours.

And, of course, act differently: to be more sociable and active; to meet new people, go to new places and try new things more often; to aim for goals that had nothing to do with my interests and values; to be politely silent when someone is rude or mean to me instead of replying and protecting myself. And so on, and so forth. Overall, it has seemed like I had to change literally everything about me, so that the people and the world could accept me, but that is not okay.

I am convinced that it is crucially important to learn to accept ourselves and others the way we all are. I am not saying that it is acceptable to remain a hypocrite and to expect respect if you are one; or that you can do nothing at all while expecting that your life will sort itself out on its own. No, no and no! I do believe that it is possible and actually necessary to change, to evolve, to discover and explore new parts of yourself, to obtain new knowledge and skills, to move forward.

When I say that it is important to accept ourselves, I mean accepting core aspects of our identity; the ones that we have always had; the ones that do not harm others or ourselves. For example, I lose my temper whenever I hear that one could have “made more effort to turn into an extrovert”. The point is that it does not work that way. One can make an effort and do everything that is imaginable in order to deal with the tasks one is facing, but it is impossible to turn your personality upside down.

We do not decide whether we would like to be introverts, extraverts or ambiverts. We simply are one of them. We are who we are. And these categories are just one type of numerous characteristics that are used to describe us. And in the end, who you are matters slightly less than how yours traits are being perceived and presented.

I have been told that I must communicate as much as possible since childhood. I have been told that “the right thing” to do is to hang out with many people, and my desire to spend more time alone was considered “wrong”. When I became I teenager I was already full of discomfort and self-doubt about myself, because I did not need a lot of friends. Having just one real friend was more than enough for me.

However, that was not what I had heard for years and years. So, I thought what if something was actually wrong with me? But that is not a healthy correlation. I spent many years trying to acknowledge and accept that I had been fine; that having more friends does not make me “right” or “better”. However, even these days I get some doubts from time to time and I wonder, whether it is enough to just be me.

In moments like these I freak out. I ask myself whether all of these years have been useless if I still have these doubts and questions. However, I know that it is not true. Nothing is useless. I have been using both my time and my energy to deal with these problems, and I am constantly on my way to getting better. I am on the right path (for me). And the whole thing is a work in progress, a process that has no end.

Every time it happens, I stop myself and I repeat everything I have already told myself many-many times. Yes, it is enough to be yourself. No, I do not need a crowd around me. Yes, communicating with several truly close and good people whom I can trust is more than enough for me. And no, “everything is wrong with me” is not the case if I am not a part of a “cool crew” or something. And yes, damn it, being me is enough. I am e n o u g h. And the people in my life are enough.

Today I want to point it out to you that it is enough to be yourself. You are enough. I mean it! No one is perfect, but everyone deserves understanding and acceptance. Keep on exploring your inner world as well as the one around you, keep on evolving and growing. Take one step at a time. Keep on moving forward. And always remember that you are e n o u g h.

If you enjoyed reading this text, please share it with family or friends via personal messages or your social media accounts. Maybe someone you know will like it too, whereas I will be grateful to you for your help and support!

The illustrations from this post are by Bianca Cash.

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com.

Do you remember my text about guilt? In my case, spending money often leads to feeling guilty. And I bet many of you can relate to that.

I am not sure where exactly it comes from. Moreover, I think there are several reasons, but it is a fact — I tend to feel guilty whenever I spend money. Going to a cafe, ordering coffee, eating food I like a lot; buying a new book; attending a museum exhibition without a free entrance; buying a new piece of clothes. However, the guilt is the worst when I am going on a trip which is not something that I often do (yet! one day I will, because it is my life-long dream), but it happens.

This text grew out of a pretty painful process of contemplating on whether I deserved to go on a trip at this particular moment of my life. I spent weeks thinking that it would be great to go, but as soon as I actually let myself imagine going, guilt started filling me up. “A trip? Now? Are you out of your mind? How dare you? Forget about it. You should be ashamed of yourself”.

By the way, it seems like I say “guilt” when I mean “shame” from time to time. I have not figured out yet whether I experience both in those cases or I simply misuse certain words. I will need some time to find out, but that is a topic for another time. So, I kept on going back and forth, coming up with numerous reasons why I had to stop even thinking about it, talking to my friends and discussing it with them. Then I have finally made up my mind.

I decided to go. I decided to let myself have this experience. I decided that if a good person whom I find interesting invited me to be their guest and show me a city they live in, and I had some money for the trip, I should go. I decided to remind myself that experiences matter more than expenses.

One day everything will change and many things will be forgotten, but memories from the trip will stay. And I want to have them, I want to keep and cherish them. So I would go! There was a quick moment of excitement and thrill until guilt came back. As a result, I spent a few more weeks (with airplane tickets in my inbox) thinking that I was irresponsible and shameless.

And you know what? This whole ordeal has taken place because there is a pragmatic inside of me, but this creature exists next to a dreamer. It is a hell of a challenge for them to co-exist which is why some of such situations turn out to be as complicated for me as they are, which is fine. I get it. I am who I am. However, I do not want to live a life full of endless restrictions. I do not want to be my own burden.

I want a life full of experiences, impressions and memories. I understand if that is what I want, I must allow myself to have it. I must allow myself to experience as much as possible despite the everyday problems and life uncertainties. And my intention is to do exactly that.

I do not know what will happen in a month. Two months. Three months. I have no idea how two thousand eighteen will end for me. What I do know is that at this particular moment in life I had an amazing opportunity to go on a trip and I grabbed it despite all of those thoughts and emotions that I have just shared with you. I thought it was important enough to write this whole text.

I want to live fully, and I want you to do the same. I am not saying that you should start being reckless and do whatever comes to your mind without considering your circumstances and responsibilities. No! However, I am saying that allowing yourself to live is something one needs to learn and practice.

Acknowledge your situation and cherish every single experience that is currently available to you. Go to a coffee shop, order a cup of coffee/tea/any other drink that you like and truly appreciate drinking it without being distracted or focused on something else. If you feel like it, have a dessert instead. Or maybe you love movies, but have not been at a cinema for months, then check the schedule immediately and plan a movie night. Buy that book. Buy that t-shirt.

Or maybe do not do any of the aforementioned and start saving up for a purchase or a trip. Maybe it will take you a while to save up enough, but who cares if you get there? Text a friend, record an audio-message, call, arrange a meeting. Talk, share, connect. Be present with that particular person in that particular moment. There are so many experiences to enjoy, but in order to appreciate them fully, you must remind yourself that experiences matter more than expenses. Experiences, not expenses.

P.S. While enjoying as many experiences as possible, please make an effort to stay away from drugs. They have already ruined way too many lives.

If you enjoyed reading this text, please share it with family or friends via personal messages or your social media accounts. Maybe someone you know will like it too, whereas I will be grateful to you for your help and support!

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com.

Two thousand eighteen has been an extremely tough year for me. Frankly speaking, it has been one major struggle. While trying to power through it, I learnt some lessons and made some conclusions. Today I would like to talk about them.

Uncertainty is a given. As children, we are usually told “if you do this, you will get that”, so we grow up thinking that way. We believe that if we do a certain action, we will definitely get the outcome we expect. However, that is not true. Nothing is definite. There is no permanent life certainty. On the contrary, life is uncertain, unstable, unpredictable. Yes, it is terrifying to think about it and it is even more so when you try to acknowledge it, but there is no other way. I am convinced now that you have to face this truth and accept it. After dealing with immense fear, it is realistic to experience a certain lightness and excitement, because if nothing is certain, anything may be possible.

Not everything depends on you. I used to be sure of the opposite. I sincerely believed that if I did everything I could, I would undoubtedly achieve my goals. I used to believe that if you were not getting something you wanted, it meant that you were not making enough effort. Well, I do not think so anymore. Sometimes it is exactly the case, but sometimes is not always. Therefore, you have to do your best, but you have to stop thinking that everything is in your hands. Or rather, I should stop thinking that way. It is hard to change such a huge part of my thinking, but it is necessary to avoid major disappointments in the future, so I am working on it.

Observe, but do not evaluate. This is a phrase that I have borrowed from my favourite yoga teacher, who is just extraordinary. She kept on saying these words during our class, and they made me feel so much better. I decided to memorize them and use them outside of the studio as well. It is crucially important to be aware of what we are experiencing, but it is also necessary to stop constantly evaluating ourselves. I am not telling you to stop analyzing your actions and decisions, but I am asking you to stop thinking in the “this is good and this is bad” way all the damn time. Just live your life a little bit more. Pay more attention to what you go through and make an effort to understand yourself better without giving yourself a grade.

Stop being so focused on yourself. In Stockholm, I discovered that it was harder to go through challenging periods, because I was constantly alone again. And I do not mean that there was no support now. I am saying that there was no one else to pay attention to, no one to take care of. When I arrived to Kyiv, I realized that I was finally able to focus on someone else apart from myself. I am not saying that I gave up my desires, needs, goals etc. No, no way! However, it was easier to keep on going. Basically, I had to accept that my situation was not ready to change yet, but I did not want to be devastated all the time. And it was easier to deal with it by taking care of other people instead of thinking about “poor me” again and again and again. For example, I spent a lot of time in my home town helping my mother with my younger brother. If something in your life is not working out the way you want it to and there is nothing you can do about it right now, re-focus, pay more attention to your family and/or friends. Just try!

Mindset is king. Your life can be completely fucked up, but you can still find joy in it. And vice versa. You can achieve your goals, but remain unsatisfied and upset. What is the point of achieving anything if you won`t be able to enjoy it? I have no idea. I think it makes more sense to do nothing than work hard, make your dreams come true and then feel nothing change inside of you. Why bother? This is why one needs to learn to appreciate whatever one has before that happens. This year, I was unable to achieve one major goal, which truly mattered to me, and I failed to achieve it. Nevertheless, I kept on making constant effort to feel better. Stop thinking that what you have is “nothing special” and start appreciating it. Learn to be truly grateful or accept that you will never be truly happy.

Finally, let`s stop saying these phrases please: “everything happens for a reason” and “everything is for the better”. Sure, I get it. Everything probably does, everything probably is, but saying that to someone at the moment when they are experiencing a major mishap and disappointment is just ridiculous. And lazy. People have been saying these words for ages, but, frankly speaking, they do not help you feel better. So, let`s make our lives a bit more tolerable and let`s stop saying them. T h a n k y o u.

If you enjoyed reading this text, please share it with family or friends via personal messages or your social media accounts. Maybe someone you know will like it too, whereas I will be grateful to you for your help and support!

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com on December 24, 2018.

A few days ago, I published a post about fiction books that had impressed me the most this year. Today I want to share my non-fiction recommendations. Last year, my non-fiction list consisted of self-help type of books only, but this time I decided to remind myself that non-fiction can be diverse. As a result, there are quite a few biographical and autobiographical books.

Deep Work” by Cal Newport — a very valuable book on the importance of learning to focus on what we are doing at a particular moment and how to do it. Newport shares the results of his experiments, his personal experience and examples of other productive people. Find out more about it here.

“The Vanity Fair Diaries” by Tina Brown — one of the most interesting books about media that I have ever read. Brown is famous for her high low approach in journalism, which is a combination of intellectual and entertaining materials. She has been writing a diary for the majority of her life. Those years when she was the editor-in-chief of American Vanity Fair were not an exception. Find out more about it here.

“I Was ToldThere’d Be Cake” by Sloane Crosley — a collection of essays that one wants to read and reread. Funny stories from real life. Croasley ends up in all sorts of uncomfortable and awkward situations, and then writes about them in such a sharp way that you have no other option, but laugh while reading. A great example of how marvelous contemporary writing can be. Find out more about it here.

“Emotional Agility” by Susan David — after twenty years of studying emotions, David came to a conclusion that our success does not depend that much on how smart or talented we are; it actually depends on our inner dialogue, the way we react to our emotions and thoughts more. In this book, she explains what emotional agility is, and how to develop it. Find out more about it here.

“Everything I Know about Love” by Dolly Alderton — a good book that can be relevant for many people. It is about a childhood in a small town where you have nothing to do, adolescence with the internet, first love, first relationship, friendship, going to university, moving to a capital, first attempts to build a career and failures, losses and victories. Find out more about it here.

“Sharp: the Women who Made an Art of Having an Opinion” by Michelle Dean — female journalists, writers, screenwriters, their lives and careers — the main subject of the book. I love the title, because it is a perfect explanation of what the book is about. If you write or want to write, keep this one in mind. Find out more about it here.

“The Power of Now: a Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle — a simple book on a complicated subject. A complicated book on a simple subject. You can see it in this or that manner, but you will need a particular mood to read it anyway. Tolle shares his thoughts on why everything we truly have only what is right here right now, as well as how to live in the moment, truly experience and appreciate it. Find out more about it here.

“The Rules Do Not Apply” by Ariel Levy — being a woman is a hell of a challenge, and this book is an extraordinary portrayal of exactly that. Levy spent the majority of her life being convinced that there was nothing she wanted more than to explore the world and write about it. However, at some point she realized that she also wanted to be a mother. It is a incredibly well-written book and a heartbreaking story of a real woman living her life in the modern world. Find out more about it here.

“1913: the Year before the Storm” by Florian Illies — a book about Europe and the state it was in during the last year before the first world war. An extraordinary compilation of details about culture and politics of that period. It was surprisingly easy and enjoyable to read. I highly recommend it to everyone and I dream of someone (as educated and gifted as Illies) writing similar books about other significant years in human history. Find out more about it here.

“Confessions of an Art Addict” by Peggy Guggenheim — Peggy Guggenheim had an extraordinary life and she managed to write a great book about it. Art, love, parties, friendship, travel, drama — it has it all. If you are interested in art and creativity, read it. Find out more about it here.

“The Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt” by Eleanor Roosevelt — not just a niece of Theodore Roosevelt and a wife of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but also a very active social activist. She has witnessed some of the most important events in history of the us and the world. And her autobiography is a true historical and literary jewel. Find out more about it here.

“Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters” by Stephen Joseph — I have been interested in the process of getting rid of what we were forced upon and becoming our truest selves for a long time, so this book was a treat. Joseph is a psychologist and researcher, and his book is based on his work. Find out more about it here.

“A Force for Good” by Daniel Goleman — one of the most important books that I have read this year. It may seem esoteric, because of the title, but that is not the case at all . The book is about education, career, the development of our world locally and globally, as well as numerous problems that we need to tackle. All of it is discussed from a standpoint of goodness. Find out more about it here.

“Dressed Up for a Riot” by Michael Idov — being a journalist and writer in New York was enough for Idov until he was invited to become the editor-in-chief of Russian GQ. He surprised himself and everyone around him by agreeing. When he came to Moscow, unexpected adventures and challenges began. A very sharp book that is a huge pleasure to read if you are into media, culture, politics. Find out more about it here.

“The Storyteller’s Secret” by Carmine Gallo — stories are essential in the world we live in. Gallo is an exceptional storyteller himself and he has worked with many others. He has written a book, which consists of their experiences and examples. A very useful book for anyone who creates anything. Find out more about it here.

“Daring Greatly“ by Brené Brown — one more must-read. I love the word ‘dare’ and I love the concept of ‘daring greatly’. How to take risks? How to be bold both in your personal and professional lives? Brown has been exploring this subject for many years, so her book is full of valuable insights. Find out more about it here.

“This Will Only Hurt a Little” by Busy Philipps — another example of the importance of staying true to yourself and following your own path no matter what. Busy Philipps was nineteen when she started her career in show business, but her biggest breakthrough happened last year. Her memoir is about naive (in a positive sense) belief in yourself and resilience. Find out more about it here.

“Small Fry” by Lisa Brennan-Jobs — a very well-written story of the first child of Steve Jobs told by herself for the first time. This book is about numerous family-related issues, the way they affected her childhood and adolescence, as well as shaped her as an adult. A very personal book, which perplexes and shocks you. A must-read! I am going to write more about it in an upcoming December reading report, but I highly recommend it to you right now.

These are my non-fiction recommendations, and what about you? Please share! Even one would be enough. I think it is the perfect time to exchange book recommendations in order to give and receive great books and then start the new year with them.

If you enjoyed reading this text, please share it with family or friends via personal messages or your social media accounts. Maybe someone you know will like it too, whereas I will be grateful to you for your help and support!

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com on December 17, 2018.

Everything started two years ago when I was not writing texts about books I read. In December, I wanted to choose some of those that have impressed me the most throughout the past twelve months and recommend them to you. Then I came up with an idea of a reading report and monthly posts about books became a regular part of my blog.

Last year, in December I thought once again that it would be good to come up with a certain list. I mean, I have read sixty five books, so it would be reasonable to choose about ten that were truly worthy of a recommendation. I came up with two lists: on fiction and on non-fiction. When I started analyzing my reading this year, I discovered that I have not read that many novels, so today I will tell you about five books instead of ten. However, in the next post there will be twenty of them.

“The Interestings” by Meg Wolitzer. Main heroes of the book meet at summer camp for “talented children” and stay in each other`s lives forever. Together they grow up, have conflicts, fall in love, break up, build successful careers and fail to do so, deal with the death of their loved ones and other tragedies, get married, have kids, hide the most intimate details, get sick. Even while reading it, I sensed that it would be one of the best of the year for me. It happened to be that way. I have already recommended it, but I had to do it once again. Find out more about it here.

“Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand. A legendary book that is definitely a must-read. Its plot? An opposition of those who have power and influence and those who have principles and intellect. The former do not want to solve real problems and achieve actual results, but they do want to rule people and earn more money. The latter are eager to develop and grow all the time, as well as work hard and achieve new goals. So true-to-life, isn`t it? I was in awe of the book, and I know that I will re-read it more than once throughout my life. Find out more about it here.

“A Man Called Ove” by Fredrik Backman. The most emotional and touching book I have read this year. Its main hero is an elderly Swede Ove who has had an extremely tough life, which has made him reserved and harsh, but has not affected his kind heart. Books like this one are a necessary reminder of what is humane. Find out more about it here.

“My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry“ by Fredrik Backman. Another extraordinary story about a family of Swedes. It reminded me that we often know nothing about the people who are the closest to us or, to be exact, about the lives they had before us. At first, this book appears to be a fairytale for children, but then it turns out to be an enlightening book for adults. Find out more about it here.

“The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand. The key message of this book is identical to the one in “Atlas”: to be honest with yourself and others, to know your values and act accordingly to them, to remain decent and true to yourself no matter what.The main hero of the book is Howard Rorke, who wants to build a career as an architect no matter what, but faces challenges all the time. Some of them seem impossible to handle. A very motivating and inspiring book that helped me power through the year. Find out more about it here.

These are five novels that have impressed me more than others in two thousand eighteen. And what about you? Please share! Not necessarily five, one would be enough as well. I think it is the perfect time to exchange book recommendations in order to give and receive great books and then start the new year with them.

If you enjoyed reading this text, please share it with family or friends via personal messages or your social media accounts. maybe someone you know will like it too, whereas I will be grateful to you for your help and support!

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com on December 15, 2018.

Three years ago, on the second of November I made one of the best decisions in my life and I founded a blog. Every year I celebrate this date and I write about it. Two years ago I had told you about what led me to this decision and a year ago I explained what I got from it. Today I would like to emphasize that the moment I created a blog, I made a conscious decision to be responsible for myself and my life.

I have already mentioned that being an author and collaborating with media outlets is complicated, because you have to earn someone`s approval all the time. When I got my blog, freedom came with it. I created a platform where I can write and publish everything I think is worthy. I do not need to prove anything to anyone there.

In October, I read “The Vein of Gold” by Julia Cameron and I found a quote there that resonated with me right away: “as soon as we start creating something, we become the masters of the situation right away instead of being its victims (no matter what the circumstances are)”. I read these words and I thought that they perfectly described what happened to me after the founding of my blog. I have been writing and publishing texts despite certain events that have been taking place in my life for the past three years.

I have been writing despite a regular lack of time to think, generate ideas and set up collaborations with the outlets that I like, as well as absence of answers or rejections. Thanks to that I have not been feeling helpless and useless. I have known that a lot depended on me, that every day I made a choice to write or not to write. Day after day I have been choosing to write ❤

On top of that, today I can say that some of the most interesting projects that I have participated in within these three years, in a way happened thanks to my blog. There is a huge probability that if I had not had a blog, I would not have started writing articles for Ukrainian Cosmopolitan, I would not have collaborated with Content Office, I would not have become a part of a podcast with Nastya. And these are just three examples! Yes, undoubtedly, I would have done other things, but this huge influence of my blog on my life is a fact.

Meanwhile, it is important to understand and to keep in mind that it is possible because I made a decision and an agreement with myself. I said that I would give it as much time and energy as it needed. I keep on saying that my blog has given me so much, but it is obvious that my actions and I are my blog. it would not exist without these two ingredients. And I won`t stop saying again and again — there would be nothing without a discipline. By the way, it is a subject of one the most important and my favourite texts on the blog — DO MORE! I highly recommend it to you. And then DO YOU! for dessert.

If you realize that there is something you want to get better at, please stop focusing on the limitations that may seem to be crucial right now. Instead, think what you could start doing right away to improve. And then keep on taking those necessary steps every day. You do not know where it will bring you, just like I did not know. Actually I still don`t.

However, I do know one thing for sure — I am responsible for my life. Yes, there are circumstances that, unfortunately, I cannot affect. I had numerous painful moments this year because of my naive belief that everything depended on the amount of effort I was willing to make. It turned out I was wrong, but I am still convinced that one must act. Dreams do not turn themselves into reality, goals do not accomplish themselves.

Thank you for being here with me ❤ Thank you for reading my texts and sharing your thoughts with me. It means much more to me than I could explain, but my gratitude comes from the deepest corners of my heart.

p.s. If you have any ideas in terms of issues or subjects that you would be interested in reading about on my blog, please feel free to share them with me. I want my texts to keep on being useful and getting better all the time.

The illustration from this post is by Karl-Joel Larsson.

Originally published at anastasiyamozgovaya.com on November 12, 2018.

In January, I read “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod and then started following the program described in it. I decided that I would follow it for thirty days and then figure out, whether I want to continue. Today, I would like to share my experience and impressions with you.

The main idea of this book is that how you spend the first hour of your day has a major impact on your whole life. Wither intuitively, or thanks to all of those articles that I read on Medium and podcasts that I listen to, this concept is not new to me. I have spent at least two years making an effort to do the most important things in the morning. As a result, I wrote a series of posts about it, and you can find all of them under the “morning” tag. Another important factor used to be my full-time job at a constantly growing company, where I had to be a “three-in-one” kind of employee, while also writing for my blog and other resources it was obvious that either I dealt with “my things” in the morning or I would not be able to do them at all. Therefore, the concept from the book was not a revelation to me, so why did I decide to try the miracle morning thirty-day challenge?

Yes, I have been spending my mornings in a meaningful way, but also I have been struggling with my morning top to-do list. Writing has been a priority for me, and it remains one. However, apart from that, there is sport, doing which is still not a habit of mine, as well as reading, learning foreign languages, meditating etc. All in all, I thought that Hal Elrod`s program was a perfect option for me. What is the program about? Well, the author suggests waking up one hour earlier, dividing it into six chunks (not necessarily equal) and dedicating them to six different practices that will help you improve yourself. I saw this program as an opportunity to start making a bit of time for a few activities that are important for me instead of doing just one. So what are these practices?

This is what an approximate “miracle morning” looks like according to Hal Elrod:

• silence (five minutes);
• affirmations (five minutes);
• visualization (five minutes);
• exercise (twenty minutes);
• reading (twenty minutes);
• scribing (five minutes).

However, the author emphasizes that this is just a suggestion, and you are free to move the practices around and divide your hour in a way that you consider right for yourself. Moreover, he suggests trying out different options, experimenting and observing which combination works the best for you, in particular. This is exactly what I did.

Here is my approximate “miracle morning” version:

Silence (five minutes)

What to do? Spend some time without moving and in total silence. I enjoyed this practice and I used one of the meditation apps that I have on my phone: Stop, breathe & think, oak или Headspace.

And how was it? Perfectly on time! I have been meditating for a bit here and there for two years. Usually I do it in the evening to deal with my emotions, calm down and get ready to sleep. It is possible to say that it has already become a habit of mine. I have recently started thinking that I would like to meditate in the morning as well, because usually I wake up and I think about my day right away, trying to remember all the things I should do. Meditation can help start your day in a totally different state.

Affirmations (five minutes)

What to do? Figure out what you would like to change in different areas of your life, write these aspects down and then read them aloud or quietly. This is an example of an affirmation that Hal has written for himself at the beginning of his affirmations journey: “I let go of my belief that my memory is awful. My brain is an incredible organ, which is capable to heal itself, and my memory can get better, but it depends on how much i believe in this improvement…” (not a whole phrase).

And how was it? I have not just heard of affirmations before, I have even ready a book about them. You can discover my post about it here. However, I did not enjoy this practice and I found it boring. Yes, I kept on doing it for thirty days, but in the end, I concluded that I do not want to re-read these affirmations according to a certain schedule. I just want to have a piece of paper with them and go back to it whenever I need to deal with negative thoughts. However, I encourage you to give this practice a chance. At least, for thirty days. What if it can help you cope with one of the self-damaging habits, like harsh self-critique or painfully low self-esteem?

Visualization (five minutes)

What to do? Imagine the goals you aspire to achieve and then think of the steps you need to take to get there. It may sound too vague, so the author suggests imagining the day ahead of you and its best possible scenario. This is an easier task, isn`t it?

And how was it? Visualization was one of my least favourite practices, right next to affirmations. Both of them were new and uncomfortable to me, so this might be one of the reasons why. However, I have a tip for you. At some point, I realized that I could think of the things that I had written about in my affirmations section. I thought of them and then I imagined what it would take to achieve these goals.

Scribing (fifteen minutes)

What to do? Start a new notebook or choose an application for notes and then try several different ways of scribing. For example, you could choose the five minute journal technique (I have been following it since October, and I love it!) or a regular journal, in which you simply write down the thoughts that fill your head at that particular moment. There are numerous options, and you need to find the one that you will consider the most useful.

And how was it? I have been journaling for the majority of my life, so it is a practice that I have had for many years. I do realize that it is not the case for many people, but I believe that it can make the lives of all of us easier and better. Our heads are full of information, ideas and worries, so why not empty it out on a regular basis? Just try!

Reading (fifteen minutes)

What to do? Take a book that you have wanted to read for ages and read it for a certain amount of time. It can be non-fiction and it can be fiction. You are the one in charge, so feel free to make your own choice. I am going to be subjective, but I am convinced that daily reading is one of the best habits that any of us can build.

And how was it? Thanks to this practice, I was able to re-read “The Miracle Morning” and a half of “Deep Work” in february. Why did I read Hal Elrod`s book again? I wanted it to be my source of guidance, inspiration and motivation, while I was following the program described in it. I think that this decision helped me keep on going on the days when I did not feel enthusiastic, which is why I recommend doing the same thing. This practice is a solution for everyone who is convinced that there is not enough time for reading. In the text about my reading routine, I write that in order to read at all or read more, you need to stop wasting your time on something useless and start making time for reading.

Exercise (fifteen minutes)

What to do? Spend a chosen amount of time doing any kind of sport. Alrod suggests twenty minutes, but it varied for me. On some days, I only had ten minutes, so I spent them doing “the sun salutation” and a few other basic asanas. However, on other days, I was either able to do a full video on my favourite channel yoga with Adriene or I spend five-ten minutes doing asanas at home and then went to the gym.

And how was it? I was grateful for a systematic motivation to do some sport in the morning. I am still unsure whether I think that doing sport before my day begins is a good idea for me. On the one hand, I wake up and I feel zero energy. On the other, I have already learnt that I feel much better both physically and mentally after doing yoga or going to the gym in the morning. On top of that, it is just like with reading — it may seem like you do not have the time to do it, but in reality you simply waste a lot of time and then you do not have enough for it for meaningful activities. The truth is that doing what you tend to lack time for in the morning is a great way to discover that there is more than enough time.

Keeping track:

As Hal Elrod points out in his book, “the necessity to keep track of what you brings order to our life and lets us make progress, improve and achieve the results that we would not be able to achieve otherwise”. What does it all mean? That while following the miracle morning thirty-day challenge, you need to keep record of what you do. How? Go to the author`s website to download a set of useful files. Read them before starting the program and use in the process. Personally I simply created a basic spreadsheet in my journal and filled it in every day.

An important detail — the author acknowledges that there might be days when you will be unable to stick to “the miracle morning” program. For example, when you have to fly somewhere or another important reason. In such cases, you need to add empty circles in your spreadsheet in advance, whereas if you oversleep or act too lazy, then you must write down minuses instead. This is important, because it lets you keep track of your dynamics and analyze it during the month and afterwards.

Conclusions:

First of all, I would like to say that I am extremely satisfied with this whole experiment. It was so interesting and useful to make an agreement with myself and to follow a certain system no matter what, while also paying a lot of attention to my sensations. If you are interested in self-development, if you want to do something you do not have time for, if you would like to change something in your life, I recommend trying the miracle morning thirty-day challenge created by Hal Elrod.

Secondly, I would like to point out that when my thirty days were over, I did not continue to follow the system. I had to fly to Paris right away. I think that if I had not been away for two weeks and had not had an unstable schedule after coming back, I would have tried to stick to it with a few minor changes.

And thirdly, I would like to let you know that I am planning to re-read “The Miracle Morning” and to do another miracle morning thirty-day challenge in May or June. I see a real need to build strong healthy morning habits, which will stay with me forever. And I do understand that it is easier to do ten minutes of yoga every day instead of trying to do an hour every single time. The same thing can be said about the rest of the practices. If i do make up my mind to do take up this challenge again, I think I will get rid of the affirmations and visualization, but I will keep the rest.

Finally, I would like to share a few inspiring quotes from the book with you:

• “It depends on you only what kind of a person you decide to become, starting right now”;
• “You do not need to discover your goal. You must invent it, create it. Simply decide what it must be like, the way you want to see it”;
• “Do not let fears, insecurities and limiting beliefs of others lower your capabilities”;
• “The current moment matters much more than any other moment of your life, because what you do right here right now defines the kind of person you become”;
• “You must decide once and for all to constantly learn, grow and become better than you were yesterday every single day.”

P.S. And a small, but important disclaimer: “The Miracle Morning” is written in an extremely enthusiastic manner. The author talks about major changes, extraordinary life and outstanding success a lot. I do realize that this approach can be a problem for some people, which is why I suggest ignoring it and focusing on the ideas in the book. Bring a portion of healthy skepticism on this journey. I have already mentioned that when I read self-help books, I do not expect miraculous results. I simply look for information and tools that could help me achieve my goals. This is why I do not get disappointed and I do not think “well, here it is! I have ready yet another book, but I am still neither perfect, nor on top of the success mountain”. And by the way, I do not aspire to any of the two :)

Phe-e-e-ew! :) This is the end of a very long text. I think it is the longest on my blog! What do you think? Will you read the book? Will you try Hal Elrod`s book? I would love to know your thoughts on this subject.

All illustrations from this post are by one of my favourite illustrators Bianca Cash.

Originally published at https://anastasiyamozgovaya.com/blog/ on October 5, 2018.

I assume that each of us has goals that we aspire to achieve. I assume that almost each of us has an understanding of which healthy habits we lack and which unhealthy ones we need to get rid of. However, knowing does not mean acting, knowing does not mean doing everything that is necessary. And finally, I assume that from time to time each of us faces a long to-do list that consists of burdensome tasks, even though we usually enjoy at least some of them.

So what do we do? How can we cope with these situations? There are several options, and today I would like to share one of them with you. It is the one that helps me deal with days when I feel like I cannot do anything at all, or when I am stuck under a massive mountain of realization how huge my goal is and how much effort I will have to make during an extensive period of time to achieve it. I suggest dealing with big and small challenges together, shall we?

One of the biggest challenges in my life is physical activity. I was not an athletic child. I neither had a need, nor a desire to constantly jump, run around and climb trees (nevertheless, I do have pictures of me hanging on trees, as if I were a little monkey). I was a girl who wanted to be at home and read books, who later turned into a girl who wanted to be at home, watch movies and talk to friends. I gave numerous kinds of sports a try, and I probably enjoyed some of them for some time, but I was not athletic any way. I experienced an extreme sense of discomfort because of how intense sport sessions seemed to always be.

When I became a student, I made more attempts to become more active, to make sport a part of my life. Every time, it was a battle with myself. I knew that I was struggling, I knew I neither had energy, nor strength in me to do it, but I kept on trying and trying…and then I discovered yoga! It was such a revelation when I found out that you could make your body stronger without stress aggression and (an awful for me) feeling of reaching your own limit. I know that some people need this combination, but my life became much easier when I accepted the fact that I was not one of them. Is that it? End of story? OH NO!

The truth is that if your body is weak and not used to physical activity, even slow and calm yoga will be a challenge for you. This is exactly my case! On top of that, there is an aspect of a habit creation. I spent twenty years of my life without it, so I had to create it from scratch. I have been learning to practice yoga regularly for two years. It is definitely a journey. Luckily, I think I can say that I have been making some progress, especially in the past few months. Obviously, it became easier when I stopped working non-stop and got my ability to stick to own my plan back.

However, what is even more important is that I realized that you need to constantly listen to yourself. It means that on days when you feel like you have less energy or your mood is bad, it is a mistake to go for a more challenging practice. It makes more sense to have a shorter and lighter one instead. I used to live according to the “all or nothing” motto, and so I either pushed myself to the limit or I did not do anything at all. However, it is better to just do something.

Nowadays, I try to do yoga every day, but every time I get on the mat, I ask myself some questions and I listen to myself. I practice yoga thanks to the videos on a YouTube-channel Yoga with Adriene, which I have already mentioned a few times. So, I have an opportunity to choose a video that fits my needs and abilities better on a given day. I am sure, someone might think that Adriene is too calm and her classes are not intense enough, but they are exactly what I personally need.

This “do something” approach does not only help me take care of my health (both physical and emotional, because everything is interconnected), but also enables me to deal with difficulties in other areas of my life. For example, from to time writing blog posts becomes a torture for me. Do I like writing? Yes! Do i want to write? Yes! Do i enjoy updating this blog? I sure do! Otherwise I would not keep on doing it on a regular basis for the third year in a row despite the highs and lows of my life. Nevertheless, there are days when writing a text is a real struggle, which is pretty natural.

You can ask anyone who writes or creates anything in a different format. It is a part of deal. So? Well, there are days when I can afford closing the tab and doing something else, but there are days when I need to write the post no matter what. Moreover, I want to organize my life in a way that will allow me to write every single day. And I know that the more disciplined I get, the stronger my writing skill will be in any circumstances.

What do I do? How do I take the “do something” approach to my writing? I start somewhere, I start with the easier parts: I choose the title and then pick the images. Sometimes it means going through my photo folder and choosing some of the photos i have taken (this is exactly what I do for my monthly good things lists), and sometimes it means opening Tumblr, exploring my feed there or simply saving a few posts from my archive. All of these steps are a part of the blog post creation process.

With every step I take, I get close and closer to the destination. And when I am done with everything else apart from the text, I usually get a feeling of progress, of relief that I have some results in front of me. Moreover, I might even think “oh, I just need to write my thoughts down now”. Just write my thoughts down…Keep in mind that some time ago I thought I was not capable of writing that blog post, but by doing something I got rid of those thoughts, I got out of that state. This is exactly how this approach works.

However, sometimes this is not enough, so I open a notebook and I start making notes, clarifying the main points that I would like to state in the text I am working on. As a result, I deal with my task and I eventually write my blog post. Step by step. I start somewhere and I do something.

I know how challenging it is to deal with something, to do something regularly. I have a suggestion for you — stop and think of the tasks you have been struggling with after you finish reading my post. Which habit would you like to form? I bet you will come up with several options, but it is better to pick out just one. After you make this choice, decide what you can do today to start developing it. What could you do every day? And when would it be easier for you? In the morning or in the evening? Maybe twice a day, but for tiny stretches of time? Think about.

You are the only one who has the right answers to these questions. And as soon as you find them, start somewhere. Try to be gentle with yourself, try not to judge and criticize yourself. Be patient and just do something every single day. And keep in mind that with every step you take, you get closer and closer to the desired goal of yours, while also becoming better on your way there. Finally, if you feel like sharing the task you choose for yourself — I will be glad to find out :) And whenever you will experience the need for some motivation, read this text. I go back to it from time to time, and it fills me up with enthusiasm and energy.

Make sure you follow me here on Medium to avoid missing my new posts. I am going to start publishing regularly again. Keep in mind that sharing is caring, and every time you clap, another person just like you gets a chance to read this post. THANK YOU!

If you would like read my latest blog posts & receive some of the content that I find to be truly interesting & valuable (articles, music, podcasts, book recommendations) subscribe to my newsletter here.

Originally published at https://anastasiyamozgovaya.com/blog on September 19, 2018.

Last Saturday, I woke up with no energy and a very-very low mood. I did not feel like doing anything at all, but I did not want to do nothing, so I decided that I would do what I had been planning to, but with no rush.

Instead of getting out of bed right away and doing yoga, I stayed under my blanket and just read. After almost two hours of reading and fifteen minutes of very slow yoga, I suddenly felt that i was not capable of anything at all. I had zero energy, and every action required an extraordinary amount of effort. I stopped and I burst into tears.

I am sure that I have a different text, in which a share a similar story, and here I am, doing it again. Why? Because everyone has bad days.

Sometimes the reasons are obvious, but sometimes they are not even a bit clear. When they happen, it seems like you have achieved nothing and you never will, but that is not true. Online content creators tend to avoid these subjects, and it happens among people on real life too. Naturally, I understand that it is hard to open up and show your weakness, to talk about painful moments, but I think it is important to do it. If you make a conscious decision to share your reality, be brave and honest. I want to be honest, I want to emphasize that I do not only have days when I manage to deal with my whole to-do list, but also those when I can literally do nothing.

I know that it is impossible to reach a dream outcome without making an effort. I know that, you also need time, and usually more than you expect or would like. I know that there is only one direction — forward. I know that what I have right here right now is a result of what I did and did not do. I know that every day I wake up and get a chance to spend my day in a different way, so dedicate more time and attention to some things and get rid of others. I know! However, from time to time days like the one I have just described happen, and then rational arguments do not help.

On those days, it seems like your attempts have been useless, that you have achieved nothing, that you have been standing at the very same spot forever or even moving backwards. Naturally, I would love to have these days less often, but there are aspects of life that we do not control. There are events that just happen, whereas we are the ones who need to deal with it and get over it. However, we are definitely in charge of how we perceive them and how we react to them. This is the reason why I am writing this text. It is both for me and for you.

When you experience something similar next time, please be patient and kind with yourself. Give yourself some time! Do not scold yourself and do not cover yourself with dirt. Just stop and take a break. And then try to do something, but do not think about the scale of that task, do not think “how much you still need to do”. No! Just start somewhere and take one step at a time.

Then keep on doing it.

One step at a time.

See each step as progress and success, because that is exactly what it is.

With every step you take, you get closer to the desired outcome, to your goal.

Please keep it in mind, and I will too.

The illustrations from this post are by Bianca Cash.

Make sure you follow me here on Medium to avoid missing my new posts. I am going to start publishing regularly again. Keep in mind that sharing is caring, and every time you clap, another person just like you gets a chance to read this post. THANK YOU!

If you would like read my latest blog posts & receive some of the content that I find to be truly interesting & valuable (articles, music, podcasts, book recommendations) subscribe to my newsletter here.

Originally published at https://anastasiyamozgovaya.com/blog on September 17, 2018.

It is five twenty eight am right now. I am under two blankets in bed in my Parisian hotel room on boulevard Magenta. Last night, I was dreaming of falling asleep as soon as possible and then finally waking up to write. I thought of getting up at five, but realized it would be an unfair move towards myself, because I have been going to bed late every day since my arrival on Tuesday. So, I had decided to wake up at six, but then just woke up at five am. I spent some time lying in bed, listening to the sounds on the street and inside of the hotel. Then I got out of bed and turned on a tiny kettle that I have here in my room. I made two tiny cups of tea and I got back under my blankets, because it is just unbearable without them. I am thrilled to have some time to be alone and in silence, to think and write. Simultaneously, I feel thrilled and peaceful, even though these emotions are quite contradictory. That is how Paris makes me feel.

Last night, I went to an event with a journalist, editor, writer Sophie Fontanel at a bookstore that I had never heard of before — Le Comptoir des Mots. It was a Q&A session and a book signing. My friend and I had coffee at Republique of Coffee before that, then jumped on the train and got to the bookstore right on time to meet Sophie personally. She was just wandering around and talking to everyone. It was such a surreal experience, because my adoration for her and admiration of her are just really intense. I bought a ton of books, and then we occupied two seats right in the very front.

I must confess that I did not understand everything, but I understood a good part of the conversation. It was such pure joy to listen to french again, and Sophie`s thoughts were just too good to not catch their meaning. She is extraordinary. At some point, I thought I would cry, because she said: “tu es vraiment libre et tu peux faire ce que tu veux”, which means “you are truly free and you can do whatever you want”. Out of context, it might seem like a very banal phrase, but it was extremely relevant for me on that particular night, so it took an effort not to cry right there.

When I got back to my room, I felt vulnerable. I felt sad and happy, I felt anxious and enthusiastic. All at the same time.

On a more practical note, I had neither proper lunch nor proper dinner yesterday. I ate some M&Ms and some nuts, and then a snack bar, but I cannot survive like that. I need proper meals! As a result, I was getting really hungry at the event and i even considered going to Burger King next to my metro station. I pictured myself eating a burger with fries and ketchup as well as drinking coke in my hotel bed. It seemed like such a fun thing to do, but I decided that I should not do it and just went home. Hungry, but full of hope.

While drinking my hot tea in bed a bit later that night, I came up with a plan for the next day —I would wake up at six, do a face mask and write until seven thirty. I would see the sunrise and I would then go to get some food. Actually, not just some food. I would go to a nearby Marks & Spencer Food to buy my favourite avocado sandwich there and get a venti cup of latte at Starbucks next door.

I would bring it all back to my hotel room and enjoy it in bed, while hiding under my two blankets. Maybe I would even write a bit more after that. What a plan, right? I got so excited that I could not fall asleep for a while and I kept on refreshing my Instagram hoping it would distract me, but it did not work. At some point I put everything away and I fell asleep in my bed in a hotel room on the fourth floor in the tenth arrondissement of Paris.

It is now thirteen past six, and I am enjoying every minute of today. I have more than an hour more of just being here, thinking and writing. It is such a pleasure for me, such a joy. There is a brown paper bag standing next to a table with my new books inside. All of them in French. It means that I will read in French again. Yes, I will struggle a lot. Yes, I will not understand a lot, but I will read them anyway. And I will reread them. Words, books, bookstores, writers touch a raw nerve in my soul.

I could not contain my excitement last night. My face was expressing so many emotions at once and I was not quiet either. I was just so happy…maybe it was bit awkward, maybe I feel a bit self-conscious, while sharing these experiences and their significance for me, but on the other hand, why is that? What is wrong with being emotional and capable of truly appreciating such events? Nothing! I must let myself feel every emotion I get as deeply as I can endure, and that is exactly what I will do.

Hello from Paris. My heart is full of love.

Make sure you follow me here on Medium to avoid missing my new posts. I am going to start publishing regularly again. Keep in mind that sharing is caring, and every time you clap, another person just like you gets a chance to read this post. THANK YOU!

If you would like read my latest blog posts & receive some of the content that I find to be truly interesting & valuable (articles, music, podcasts, book recommendations) subscribe to my newsletter here.

Originally published at https://anastasiyamozgovaya.com/blog on September 16, 2018.