Several years ago a couple friends and I were out on the lake wakeboarding and skiing and started to head back into shore for lunch. On the way in, one of them spotted a cliff he wanted to jump off of into the water, so we made a detour to the rocks.

We checked the depth of the water to make sure it was deep enough and make sure nothing was sticking out he could get injured on. It was about 4 stories high from where he jumped to the surface of the water — not something I was about to sign up for.

He hopped off tucked to do 2 back flips and in the water he went.

I was amazed at how easy he made it seem. He took a quick glance over the edge to double check nothing was obstructing his path, then a short run up to the edge and a jump — zero hesitation.

I asked how he was able to do something like that so easily without being scared or having any hesitation. Whenever I would try something like, it seems like I always end up overthinking things too much. He then gave me a secret that would change every aspect of my life.

He said, “I was definitely nervous as that’s a new record for me! However, you need to remember, the jump is the easiest part. Gravity will always help you get down, but the ground [up there] was so slippery and uneven, it took a lot of focus to just make it to the edge. Don’t waste time thinking about the jump when you first need to make it to the edge! I only think about things when they need to be thought about.”

I was amazed at how simple this was, and how easy it was to apply to everything! If you mind is not busy leading up to something that scares you, it leaves the opportunity for self-doubt and/or hesitation to creep in, and then you’ll talk yourself out of it. By keeping your mind busy on the task-at-hand you won’t have the opportunity for your mind to wander to the negatives.

Many people are paralyzed by fear and anxiety, and because of this, they often do not pursue their dreams and instead start to shrink their goals. I’ve had goals before that were huge, then when the time came I got nervous and started to second guess things. If this started to happen, I would stop myself and remember what he said, ‘don’t worry about the jump until you get there, because at that point it will be easy.’

Having an idle mind, at times, can be a good thing. After all, how a lot of people relax is by doing something mindless. Unfortunately, sometimes for an entrepreneur it can be detrimental because it leaves the opportunity for self-doubt to sneak in; however, if you’re focused on what you need to do right now and not thinking too far down the road, it won’t be nearly as scary.

This is something that I’ve been able to apply in all aspects of life, business, relationships, racing — you name it! Remember, whenever something seems too big to conquer, break it down into smaller pieces and focus on taking the first step, and then the next, then the next, and so on. Don’t focus on the jump when you’re not even ready for it yet.

A couple of years ago I decided to try Golfing. I’m a decent athlete and I tend to excel at most things I try — but not Golf.

Golf made an instant fool out of me because it wasn’t based on how fast you can do something or how quick you were — it was all about accuracy. The difference between a perfect stroke, and one that put the ball into the woods, was a very small change in positioning or grip. This tiny change however, was (for me) the difference in a perfectly straight drive, or a drive that put the ball off 100 yards in a totally different direction. I may not be good at Golf, but can yell “FOUR!” really well now.

This analogy is a really good description of basic decision making. While it’s easy to make a decision — much like it’s easy to swing a golf club, it can be very challenging to make a good decision — much like it’s very challenging to get a remotely good golf swing.

We all think that when someone asks us a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question that it’s an easy choice, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

After studying some of Americas most successful and balanced people I’ve realized every decision is thought about — thoroughly!

I’m not sure about you, but I love to help people! I was always offering to help a friend with whatever they needed, and would go out of my way to make things happen whenever they asked. We all love helping someone because it both makes us feel good, and helps them succeed. An unfortunate reality to this is giving up a lot of time, and that can be limiting our own success (or how quickly we can achieve success).

My mentor told me something several years ago that only really ‘clicked’ recently for me. He said, “Every time you say ‘yes’ to something you are saying ‘no’ to something else, and you need to know exactly what it is you’re saying ‘no’ to before you make your decision.” This is because there is only so much time in the day, and an entrepreneur’s list does nothing but grow faster and faster.

There is a great deal of wisdom in knowing that when you agree to do something, that you’re giving something up — it might be a task, or it might be saying no to free time in the evening to relax.

To be successful at anything in life it requires an incredible amount of time; that time might be for studying, research, coding, marketing, raising money, networking, or whatever, and by doing other things in the course of a day you might be delaying success little by little.

Clearly there is a balancing act to this, but understanding, “If I say yes to doing _____ then I am saying no to myself doing _____.” Being able know what I’m giving up specifically has not only helped me with making choices, but also helped me a lot in my planning/scheduling.

It’s amazing how fast everything is moving in this world. Business models and challenges seem to change by the second, political issues change by the minute, everything on social media is some sort of breaking news — we are on 24/7 information overload.

Through this barrage of information we are supposed to decipher the real news, from the fake, and form an educated opinion about everything to know where we stand.

Nothing seem to divide people more rapidly than disagreement, but it’s amazing how some people seem to get along with everyone — even while having an opposing opinion. They still can have a constructive and enlightening discussion about some of the most controversial topics. Some people are seemingly so open minded and full of wisdom, how can they do this?

Often this not because these people are incredibly intelligent (well, some are, but this isn’t the reason why they have the charisma you see), but it’s because they understand that everything they see in life is their own perspective, and not necessarily the reality. Additionally, they rarely disagree with anyone because they understand that the only real truth in this world is actually what someone’s opinion means to themselves.

It’s because of these two realizations they make themselves listen and not voice their own thoughts before they understand the opposing view. Notice I said, “understand the opposing view” I didn’t say, “listen to the opposing view.” Before you can truly be educated on a subject and make an informed decision for yourself, you need to understand all angles and the views that different people’s thinking leads them to. At the end of the discussion they will likely still have their own opinion and point-of-view, but they also have the understanding of how others view certain situations — this is wisdom at its finest. By being able to think and view things from a completely unbiased perspective, they can often come up with great ideas and realizations in the process that others can’t see because they’re closed minded.

Remember, no matter what the subject, arguing with someone will never get you what you want, nor will having a bad temper or getting angry, all this will do is simply make that person defend their position even more. If you really want someone to truly listen to your perspective, cramming it down their throat will never work, but by listening to their position, and agreeing with them about why they have it you can bring them off of the defensive position which must happen for them to be open to hearing your views.

It’s amazing how many leaders I’ve seen make snap choices before knowing all of the facts — even when a decision wasn’t instantly needed. This is a great way to shut down team members as opposed to get people to work as a team. Being quiet until solutions and ideas from others have been heard typically ends up leading to a better solution in the end because it’s a hybrid of many different solutions.

Similarly, in life, you never know the full story about why someone has the opinion or position on a subject that they do, and more-than-likely you will not change their stance either. However, in order to have the best chance at someone ever seeing your perspective on a subject, you need to make sure they have an open mind. By taking the time to understand their position before discussing your own opinion they will feel important and heard. All anyone wants in this world is to feel important and heard, then after that they will most likely be willing to listen with an open mind.

Sometimes we can gain a great deal by being silent and listening to others, but the only way to do this is by having the wisdom to know when to quit talking and listen.

Stagnant and complacent. Two words that are the enemy of every one — no matter what you do in this world. If you’re an entrepreneur, or a business owner, then these two words are very close to you because they represent a number of things that you cannot afford to embody if you want to be successful.

Fear and intimidating. Another two words that are the enemy of everyone because they are largely psychological, and keep us from being the person we dream of being.

At the end of 2016 I realized that I had become stagnant because I was fearing fear itself, and this fear would keep me from achieving all of my goals and dreams. More importantly than that, by never overcoming fear I was missing out on the greatest feeling possible — the feeling of overcoming a fear.

Even though I was still learning and growing professionally and was learning a lot every day, I had fallen into a rut. I was even maturing a new business idea to help people and hold people accountable to achieve their financial goals (Penny Wise Dollar Rich), but none of this was going to get me to my dream if I wasn’t going to conquer the things that scared me.

I’m not sure where, but sometime I had stopped pushing the edge of my comfort zone. I had become complacent. I thought, just like everyone else, that my ambition, tenacity, and drive was good enough to get me to where I wanted to go in business.

So for 2017 I changed two things and the rest of my life started to change too — faster than ever. The things I thought I valued — no longer mattered, and the things I once feared — I began to crave.

I quit thinking about things before taking action, and I started stepping out of my comfort zone several times a week — and if the opportunity didn’t present itself, I made one.

These are two lessons I actually discovered in racing. I noticed that I was stuck in a rut and I had become stagnant, I wasn’t challenging myself, and as a result my performance on the weekends weren’t improving. (Shocking I know!)

I was stuck in a rut because I wasn’t trying new things. If something scared me I didn’t do it. Well it’s no wonder I didn’t hardly improve because I had reached the edge of my comfort zone. I knew that if I couldn’t overcome the fears in my head I would never get to the level I wanted to.

So I made a promise to myself that every time I was out on the track I would do something that would scare myself — not a lot, but just a little to start stepping out of my comfort zone. (Obviously this was nothing dangers. for example, sometimes it was things that the rest of the competition was doing that I wasn’t comfortable with). Your comfort zone is something that can grow. Remember, you were once really nervous about driving, but with time you adjusted and became comfortable with it, and now you don’t think about it at all. This can be applied to anything that makes you uncomfortable.

By challenging myself to do something that pushed my comfort zone every time I was at the track I noticed that at first sometimes I would fail. I would try and try all day to do something and I wouldn’t be able to do it — I was too nervous. I then told myself, “if you don’t do something to push yourself within the first 10 laps (I knew the track) that I was going home and that 5 hours of driving to the track would be flushed in 15 minutes of track time.” So I started to act and do something within a few seconds of thinking about it.

I realized that by thinking about everything I was going I was much slower, but the second I could ‘turn off my brain’ and just start acting without thinking — it was incredible. The key to doing that was to act within 1–3 seconds of having a thought — literally 3 seconds max. By 5 seconds the brain notices a hesitation, overanalyzes things, and ultimately caused me to second guess myself. (This is what would happen in the past — I would over think things all day and blow it out of proportion.)

The mind is amazing at coming up with excuses on why not to do something, but it takes time to come up with these reasons. So by acting faster than it can, I was able to overcome doubt and take action.

Since then I have rolled this mindset over into every aspect of my life. Every time an opportunity would present itself that made me nervous I would take it. I wouldn’t hesitate — I would just reply “I’m in.” No at first it was nothing outlandish, but it was something that made me a little nervous so I started putting myself out there little-by-little.

So what’s the point to all of this?

If you never take a step outside of your comfort zone then it will never grow. If your comfort zone never grows you then cannot by definition grow either, and that dream/vision you have in your head of the person you want to be will never become a reality. That person you are dreaming of becoming, the person you need to become, requires you to try new things you aren’t comfortable with. Everything you want is on the other side of fear, and the wonderful thing about fear is that it’s the monster under the bed — it’s all made up in our heads.

The best way to do this is to start a little at a time and remember to respond/react almost instantly, because if you wait, you will likely bow out.

I want you to take whatever fear you have, and break it down to accomplish it. For example a friend of mine was worried about making a phone call to a potential supplier to get more information for a business idea. Well, they started small. First it was a phone call and they played it off as though it was a wrong number. Then two days later they called again to ask some general questions about a product they sell. Then the next week they felt far more comfortable with the call and dove right into the conversation they needed to. Though it was a while ago we still joke about how nervous he was.

I don’t care how small you start — just START!

The feeling after conquering a fear you’ve had is the greatest feeling in the world because there is no greater accomplishment then the accomplishment of conquering your own fears. Once you conquer a fear you’ve had for years, you will understand why I say it’s the greatest feeling in the world and there is no dollar amount that can replace it.