TIME a mysterious miser;

Barely lets us be more wiser!

It gives us more fortune; by

Selling selfworth in auction

Un-till that day to come

To be confined in a box

Or the four walls

I thank this Quarantine

It’s been a blessing in Divine!

Counting every seconds,

From the chirping of birds,

To the scent of every herb!

This is the Quarantine,

Changing the life design

This is the design of relations

The design of showing gratitude

It is the design of great mansion

Bonded with sound pillars so acute!

One is the pillar of trust,

The other of respect

One of family, and

The other of friends

Those ones NOT Digital (FB/Insta)

Those ones who are REAL

This is the Quarantine

Dividing Digital & Normal with a LINE!

In these 21 days lockdown I made an attempt to do diverse things. Starting from giving first shot to oil painting to creating a dance video which coincidentally got viral gaining 30K views and 1.1K likes (thanking my partner in crime Zeel). But still there was something missing. Guess it was people & yes I can 200% vouch for it if you have a robotic husband glued the entire day to laptop & calls :-P

Link to the dance video: https://www.facebook.com/630999877068382/posts/1488130294688665/?vh=e&d=n

But things changed over the weekend when I watched the new series “Panchayat” on Amazon Prime. It took me back to those days in which Relations overruled Digitalisation. In which knowing little things about one another like “how is life going on, are you fine, its been long time” or simplest thing of wishing on a festival/ birthday anniversary was not via a Whats App message. In a poetic fashion I have summarised my learnings of the series below. I hope you all like it. If you do then please do share few claps & call me ;) NOT Whats App!

Gone are those days; in which

INNOCENCE mounted bays!

In Sorrows they sheltered one another;

In Happiness they danced all together!

Where the people whom you guard;

Is in a roof of 1000 yard,

And achievement of a person; was

The pride of entire bay.

Gone are those days; in which

INNOCENCE mounted bays!

SOLITUDE was an excursion,

Too poisonous to cherish long; so

Falling back to that 1000 yard,

Made companionship a solid archard!

Where Values meant kinship;

And Giving Word (promise) Brothership.

Gone are those days; in which

INNOCENCE mounted bays!

In Sorrows they sheltered one another;

In Happiness they danced all together!

I am now 30. Which means I am less observant and equally less adaptive. Hence, as an outcome, I have got rigidly biased to my “book of rules” framed out of experiences i.e AMBITION (-,+), FAME (-,+) & EGO (-,+). No one could ever challenge these rules! Including my husband ;) whom I am DILIGENTLY married to since last 3 years!! God please give him more strength! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

But then came a day as bright & pink! And to the flow of piano music entered “Pink little Jojos”. Marching in tippy toes with their flamboyant ballet points and having height merely reaching till my waist; It was these little Jojos that challenged the very existence of my Rule Book. Their eternal frame of reference comprised of only two lines LOVE (-,+) & JOY (-,+). The movie JoJo Rabbit also confirmed me that they actually live in their 2D world.Which is way better than our 3D world.

Below are my key takeaways from their world.

A) Idol

JoJo aspires to join Nazi military as Hitler is his Idol. We all have idols in our life so there is nothing wrong with Jojo to have one. The only difference is; his idol (Hitler) is his imaginary friend who actually believes and thinks like him. Actual Hitler as a part of training would not have mind killing the rabbit but this Hitler (friend) stopped Jojo from doing so.

My learning — In our 3D world we read a lot about our idols (imaginary friend). We would not have spared any article or any biographies on them. In this way we give more defined characteristics to our friend. By doing so we start thinking & behaving like them. And slowly we become like them. But the truth reality of life is; we all have distinct unique characteristics which might give us fame or joy or identity. By copying someone we would only land up creating a FAKE IDENTITY.

B) Adaptivity to see GOOD in EVIL

As a part of Nazi Military training; Jojo was trained to believe that Jews are basically demons with large claws who live in filth. Thus, they need to be killed whenever they are found. He almost attempted to do so when he found a Jewish girl taking asylum in their house. But the biggest shock of his life came when he realised they too were humans just like him. And so rather than killing he first made an attempt to understand them. Starting with simple questions like what they eat, how they live etc.

My learning — We make quick judgements about people we are surrounded with. And thanks to our frame of reference; we always start with negativity. We are not ready to trust people. We do not value relations. The simple reason being each one of us just like Hitler wants to aggressively conquer the world either by reaching the top of corporate ladder or by building a successful startup. But what worth is that fame having no one to celebrate with.

C) Love is unconditional

In an attempt to understand the Jewish culture, Jojo lands up falling in love with this girl. She as mentioned above by religion is Jewish & by age 10 years elder to Jojo. But miracles do take place in life. This love completely changed the perspective on Jews that Jojo had learned in 5–7 years of training. It was this love that still made place for comfort against the ill-fated war.

My learning — 24x7 we are battling across varied types of War. It be emotional, ambition, depression, loneliness, failure, loss of loved one etc. Thus we desperately seek love and a place of comfort in our life. To our rarest imagination this comfort might also come from our strongest enemy. You never know. Even the enemy helps you in conquering a certain type of battle which you fail to acknowledge. So respect them. It does not also mean to give them way to take your advantage. After all they are your enemy. Be smart and set your boundaries right. We get to learn from each single human being.

That knowledge misled

To evoke fortune so dread!

Which finally descends; To

That thrust for fame,

Leaving yourself to blame.

Were they friends or foes

Was it decision or the ego; but

When the time outgrows;

That thrust for fame,

Leaves the throne disclaimed!

Trust the guts;

More than the ego.

Trust being grateful;

More than the friends.

For what worth is that glory;

Leaving you all alone.

Cause that thrust for fame,

Had let the time win its game!

Respect your foes; But

Play your own game.

Walk with the kings; But

Don’t loose the common beings; And

Run against the time; By

Shelling THRUST with them;

Cause that TRUST for fame,

Is not yours all alone.

This poem is inspired by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s video on how to respond to stress. In order to understand the below narrations well; I would insist you all to kindly first go through this video.

I have a hidden treasure; Way difficult to address;

It grows in a stress; Unstoppable to suppress

Though I am entrapped in a monster

That strongly opposes me to foster!

I still grow accepting it’s bestow; As

I have a hidden treasure; Way difficult to address.

By accepting this monstrous shell

That pricks to loudest yell; Makes me feel;

Is this worth to live!

Is this worth to die; for

I am dying within as much outside,

From those predators spread far & wide!

But still I choose to live forever & ever alive,

As I have a hidden treasure; Way difficult to address!

By accepting the monster as my friend,

As it is a inseparable blend;

And predators my forever contend.

I reach to my treasure.

This treasure is full of rocks,

Far from anyone to stalk.

I then let go off my old monster,

By rubbing against rock stronger.

Then I grow bigger & bigger,

With new monster quicker & quicker.

I then step out to the world

A big new me

And a bigger new guard!

My treasure is ACCEPTANCE

As it gives a strong lesson

“There is a part of you within which might at times hurt you;

There is a part of world outside which would always challenge you!

Choose to ACCEPT as nothing can change

As it will last forever within an infinite range!”

Took those heels; so twisted and curled,

And set my foot in; to raise high to the world.

As I sat in the corner; so quite and patient,

Then approached a guy so callous and ancient;

Asking me to dance in his pair of crocs;

I said “Please first go and wear your socks!”

Stranded I observed his loose T-shirts and Pyjamas

Am I at right place a question bewildered!

Astounded I wake up to the sound of alarm,

It was the same T-shirt and pyjama I slept in!

Then comes my man with laptop & headphone

Baby where are my crocs? as it cannot be seen

Unfolding those dresses and gowns in my wardrobe

And those pair of heels matching every enrobe;

It was this girl once upon a time;

Whose day would start with a glass of lime!

Wearing that dress with matching heels,

I enter the same ballroom with rose and pearls .

Far stands my man in his pyjamas and crocs;

Baby want some water? as you look thirsty!

(I Then Wondered)

When did this callous ancient become my angel

With his crocs to enjoy whiskey on the rocks!

Inspired by Charles Bukowski’s poem on Life Dance:

The area dividing the brain and the soul is affected in many ways by experience-

Some lose all mind and become soul: INSANE

Some lose all soul and become mind: INTELLECTUAL

Some lose both and become: ACCEPTED

Underneath is my understanding for same in form of a poem.

Me: HEART please dance with me.

Heart: I anyways tap to the beat with or without any rhythm to suit.

Me: MIND please add some rhythm to heart.

Mind:

I am an engine which fuels on feeling;

That can be lower than the ground to higher than a ceiling.

I can be angry but also loosen with a brandy;

I can be sad and also happy with a candy.

I can be jealous but also careless;

Cause what I want is also limitless!

Heart:

If what you want is so limitless;

How will you do if I be in a mess?

I beat the best if you follow me well;

Breaking this rhythm leads me to swell.

Developing more holes as this swell expands;

Feeling please stop MIND for any further demands!

Feeling:

Listening to HEART; They call me crazy

Listening to BRAIN; They call me brainy;

And listening to none; Then they consider me humanly.

So human I be without any heart; is like a machine which only works & works;

So human I be without any brain; is like a seconds in clock which only ticks & ticks.

How can I be happy if people around me so unhappy;

I hate this world so humanly unsatisfactory.

If you seek happiness then lets stop fighting;

As you get happiness only by giving!

HEART please figure out what drives you crazy.

BRAIN lets drive this craziness with your logical maziness.

Forget what people think as they cannot see;

The innovation you are about to bring to set them free!

As I wish to live that causes my soul to dance inside my body — Deleolanubi

In world there are winners and there are losers. I am proud to say that I am a Loser and do not regret being the one. Why do all the motivational & inspirational books talk about winning? Are the winners really so happy? The most successful ones I have observed are the most loneliest people. Even losers do get lonely but when they look in their surrounding they find plenty like them. It thus fills in the vacuum quickly. Winning is not easy; It takes courage to achieve what you dreamt of but it takes double courage to ACCEPT where you failed. And so, today I am here to discuss with you “The art of successfully losing” As It’s well said winners never become winners its always the losers who become winners. So be a loser first!

A) Do something that reflects your honesty

Bukowski a late bloomer got his mega break in 50s with his fist novel “The Post”. He simply dedicated it to nobody. Before this he had spent 30 years of his life as an alcoholic, chain smoker, a gambler. His works often used to get rejected by magazines, newspapers with high level of criticism. These series of continuous rejections and failures pushed him into an alcohol fuelled depression. Until one fine day an editor in a small time publishing company decided to give him a break. This break of a penny deal became a huge success for Bukowski’s first novel “The Post”.

The world would count Bukowski’s success as “There is no substitute to handwork and you just need to keep trying”. What people fail to observe here is that Bukowski did not push himself so hard to become a finest writer. He at times would be observed lying down at a street, at times into dispute while gambling and at times banging on his type writer. He already had accepted his rejections and failures and was comfortable with the life he was leading on. He did not aspire to become famous. In fact becoming famous had least impact on his life style. He still used to continue attending events half passed away, at times arguing or getting into dispute with event people and at times miss attending a few for gambling.

What Bukowski wrote in the novel was nothing but the honesty. It was this honesty that was liked by millions of people world wide. Whatever you do or choose to do in life; do it with complete honesty. You cannot be truthful to everybody but at least being truthful to yourself helps in accepting your failures. Not accepting it leads to heart failure, high BP, severe depression etc.

B) Do not remind yourself that “You are the best”

If you are best, you are genius then why do you need to keep reminding yourself repeatedly. Its a part of your genes. These words do not boost up your self confidence rather they make you more weak. By reminding you already ACCEPT that you aren’t best, you aren’t genius. You are just a simple human being; is it really so difficult to acknowledge? You are what you are and ACCEPT it. Each individual is unique and special in this world. You just need to find your own uniqueness which distinguishes you from the rest.

C) “Be Happier, Be Healthier, Be Richer” — Remove these goals from your life!

“Wanting positive/happier experience is a negative experience; Accepting negative experience is a positive experience — Alan Watts

How to do this” — Delete your social media account! Wanting to be something always makes you feel less worthy of what you have already become. You may have already become happy, you may have already become rich but whats the point in it if you cannot accept it. And when this leads to a breaking point you have 350+ social media posts/images to prove how unworthy & disgusting your life currently is. Some vacationing in Hawaii, while some celebrating a new beginning in their lives.

Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. — Mark Manson. Unfortunately nobody highlights that into any posts or images.

Stats prove that the most active social media users are the most loneliest people. Reference: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/03/06/518362255/feeling-lonely-too-much-time-on-social-media-may-be-why — Honestly happiness actually is a biggest problem we have. Always hope for a life of good problems as happiness comes only by solving them.

In simple analogy; people who enjoy gyms are the ones who are fit and healthier. People who enjoy stress & 24x7 work are the ones who fly high on corporate ladder. People who enjoy taking uncertain risks tend to become successful entrepreneurs. Thus, enjoy solving the problems; happiness is just a temporary result out of it which does not last long while problems do.

The only note I want to share with you all from this blog is;

Accept your failures just the way you accept your success as this is the real you! Never be ashamed of it

It’s 2 pm on a Monday afternoon. After finishing a relishing lunch at office served in kilos of spices cooked over yesteryears vegetables did I finally decide to sit peacefully and finish my write up on Yoga Book. “Your maid throws vegetables from the kitchen and it falls straight into my bathroom through its window” is the message I receive right then from my neighbour who lives just below our flat. For readers an explanation; our kitchen window and their bathroom window is diagonally opposite at an approx. 60 degree downward inclination. The concept of newton’s law of motion, geometry, trigonometry came out from my super conscious mind (perks of writing book on Yoga) at that very moment. Special thanks to my just average IQ for mathematics and physics inherited during my school days.

But all the analysis failed to convince me on how could an object penetrate through the window covered with slanting glasses of hardly an inch gap. Above this it also had an external grill as a safety measure. Then I made a case study of the scenario and presented it to my super IQ IIT genius husband. Still we could not come down to any conclusion. Even if our maid had been a National Olympic champion in disc throw even then the object had least chances to penetrate through that inch gap!. After all the unsuccessful attempts we finally accepted that we either have a ghost whose job is to irritate the aunty or we have a monkey in our society to do this neat work.

Why I am writing this? Well I wanted to prove CEAT tyres that it’s not just the roads that are filled with fools. (If in case the video does not play then here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JsXIg5TjzA ) — Just Kidding!

So yes there are lot of perks of having a nosy neighbour.

Our fights have an audience 24x7 with free entry anytime. We have someone to care for us in the society; Who feels our presence felt as soon as we enter the flat. We have someone who repeatedly keeps reminding us that yes we are important; That our actions influence (disturb) someone else too. We have someone who keeps addressing us that we live in the real world surrounded by humans and not the digital one. We have someone who keeps forcing us that there is world beyond 9–7 job and yes you need to step out and interact with them. We have someone who keeps reminding us that after all “Human” is a social animal and we cannot live without people.

Perks of not having a nosy neighbour

You are at peace! You have no one to judge you and mind your business as their business. But too much of silence also leads to loneliness and depression. We then start living in a mechanised world. In today’s era, do we really have time to interact with our own family? Everyday post work as a normal human being we come back to our home which most of the cases is a society. We DO NOT come back to a Hotel where every single day we have a stranger living right next door.

So next time if you get a nosy neighbour be thankful to them for letting you know where exactly you live. Cause of this digital era and speedy work deliverables we spent approximately 90% of our average time at work and hardly 4–6 hours of stay at home. Let there be people in your surroundings who make your 4–6 hours lively. You know how to deal with them already (the same way as you deal with your co-workers ;))

Cheers to that!

To get answer for this question I joined Yoga classes & have been continuing with it rigorously since last 8 months. At first I felt it was to get aware about my body’s physical level. Yes! my body’s flexibility had gone for a toss since the time I left dancing. With consistent muscle pain during Yoga I truly was getting aware of my each organ, Phew!. But this was a sweet pain & slowly I started to feel happy from within. For a change I started listening to music. I started tapping my feet in sync with it. I started dancing again! Still I could not guess what it was. May be the thing that keeps you happy is your true self.

When was I so happy in my childhood? As a kid I remember I used to create an imaginary house with kitchen. I would drape my mom’s dupatta as a saree & in-act like her. At times become a mother, at times a teacher, demand less of what would I get in return just as how our Mom’s & teachers usually are. Slowly and steadily as my inner circle grew more & more, my wants changed from being a scientist, a fighter pilot, a dancer to a corporate professional. As I got more matured what I wanted to become was a result of what benefit I would get out of it. Monetary, recognition for work, promotion, title of honor few to name in it. I started impersonating so many people around me that I actually forgot who I was. I started behaving like them, eat, sleep, talk like them with only hope that someday I would become like them. But deep within my heart is this what I really wanted? Is this what I would really get happy with?

Thus, my logical definition for awareness is:

‘Your self’ — ‘Demand’ — ‘Expectations’ = ‘True Self/ Awareness’ & True self = Happiness

Shiv Khera had once written very explicitly in his book ‘You can win’ that; ‘The ones who succeed are the ones who are true to themselves’.

I can further redefine it as ‘The ones who succeed are the ones who are happy in what they are doing & live with it irrespective of the circumstances’. In simple words they do not set any demand/ expectation for what the outcome should be & thus have the least fear of failure. Best part of it is; even if they fail they are still happy because they are AWARE of what they are doing. This is the biggest gain! May be that’s the reason why we get hear very few names of successful entrepreneurs, dancers, corporate professionals, sports heroes etc.