Do you have that one book? You know, the one that came into your life at the perfect moment to comfort, motivate or inspire you?

Yes? Nice one!

No? Don’t worry, neither do I.

Unless you count the faux-scientific books of the Dragonology series that had me believing dragons were real until an embarrassing age, as a kid I was only ever interested in reading fiction. Cue University, cue a disdain for all long-form content, and by the time I was 20 almost any trace of a personal reading habit had vanished.

But I still identified as a reader. Reading was a hobby on my CV and dating profiles. Yet when a few years ago a friend asked, ‘what have you been reading lately?’ — it hit me.

I couldn’t remember the last book I read.

Wow, I thought. What a fraud.

Admitting this reality forced me to make a change. To recommit to who I used to be, who I wanted to be, and who I’d been claiming to be (oops). Sounds serious, but I’d honestly just forgotten the FUN of reading. In an attempt to escape the screens I was addicted to, unfu*ck my attention span and become a more open-minded, knowledgeable and — hopefully — interesting person, I was determined to fall back in love with fiction… and this time non-fiction was coming along for the ride.

And guess what? For anyone keen to tap into 5000 years of recorded knowledge, there’s some dang good nuggets of wisdom out there for less than $20.

While I don’t have any single title I hold dear as the one that ‘changed’ me, there are some books that have definitely shifted my understanding of how the world works. My recommendations aren’t the best books ever written, but personally they’ve helped end stagnant funks, altered my perspective or taught something important. If you’re looking for a similar jolt, maybe they can do the same for you.

Here’s a short list of books that have influenced me deeply in the last few years.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

If I was forced at gunpoint to hold one book above all others, then fine, this would be it. 2000 years ago the most powerful man in the world sat down to write a private book of lessons about life — reminders to be a wiser, kinder, humbler person. And you can read that book! (the Gregory Hays translation is very accessible). Aurelius wastes no time trying to explain the the world, simply writing to himself about how to live a little better. This was my first foray into Stoicism and non-fiction in general, so I owe a lot to good ol’ Aurelius. I’m confident that anyone who reads it will walk away with some applicable emperor-worthy wisdom, or at least a pithy maxim, to apply when feeling a bit stuck or stressed. A well-worn copy lives on my bedside table.

“You don’t have to turn this into something. It doesn’t have to upset you. Things can’t shape our decisions by themselves.” — Marcus Aurelius

The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Choo-choo, all aboard the Stoicism train. The title is drawn from a line in Meditations, so on recommendation from a friend I read this soon after and found Holiday’s writing a motivating kick up the ass. ‘Self-help’ books can be a lot of whimsy hot air, but Holiday curates a powerful collection of stoic philosophies, punctuating them with anecdotes about historical figures who applied the same principles. You might not be the next President or Elon Musk, but reframing obstacles as stepping stones can encourage anyone to confidently deal with whatever comes their way. Think of it as a bit of tough love for yourself.

“Failure really can be an asset if what you’re trying to do is improve, learn, or do something new. It’s the preceding feature of nearly all successes. There’s nothing shameful about being wrong, about changing course. Each time it happens we have new options. Problems become opportunities.” — Ryan Holiday

Free Will by Sam Harris

In this intriguing little book, philosopher and neuroscientist Sam Harris appeals to reason while arguing the case against free will. Free will is a concept I never thought to question, but here we are. If you want to shake the foundations of what you believe, give it a go. Harris is an engaging writer and does a great job at getting you to inspect your own decision-making, so whatever your opinion he’ll certainly have you questioning assumptions that seem to make sense.

“The popular conception of free will seems to rest on two assumptions: (1) that each of us could have behaved differently than we did in the past, and (2) that we are the conscious source of most of our thoughts and actions in the present. As we are about to see, however, both of these assumptions are false.” — Sam Harris

Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss

If you’re familiar with Tim’s podcast you’ll know he’s spent years interviewing world class performers in all fields, the titular titans. Through conversation he deconstructs the most effective tactics that anyone can use to improve themselves, and in this tome of a book (literally, it’s massive) he records notes and his own asides from the best of the best. Arnold Schwarzenegger to Neil Gaiman, Amelia Boone to Seth Rogan, he’s got interviewees to entice anyone. If you want to shake up your outlook, this book offers plenty of perspectives to mull over. It’s full of practical advice to help tease out the happiest, healthiest, most efficient and fulfilled version of yourself, and is the kind of book you can flip open to any page for a good quote. At 700+ pages, thank goodness for that.

“I always advise young people to become good public speakers (top 25%). Anyone can do it with practice. If you add that talent to any other, suddenly you’re the boss of the people who have only one skill.” — Scott Adams via Tim Ferriss in Tools of Titans

Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

This famous memoir from psychiatrist Victor Frankl chronicles his life as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. Humanity breaks down as he and fellow prisoners experience the limits of human suffering, and Frankl analyses survivors to find out what keeps them going. It’s a moving story and the perspective he gains on the meaning of life leaves many readers with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. It’s also helped me complain less about things that don’t matter — always a good thing. The world needs less moaners and more champions for the human spirit.

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” — Victor Frankl

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Loved by artists, writers, entrepreneurs, athletes and creators of all types, this bite-sized book gets pretty self-helpy but still packs a ego-shattering punch. Pressfield writes to stir the creator inside you to defeat what he calls ‘The Resistance’. No, not a Star Wars foe, but the force that’s stopping you from doing the work you want via procrastination, doubt, fear etc. For some readers it might be too spiritual, superstitious or bullying, but I personally found it an insightful, dense little guide into the psychology of creation that’s easy to refer back to. If you’re in need of one, this book is a pretty solid kick up the ass.

“It’s better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot.” — Steven Pressfield

Factfulness by Dr Hans Rosling, and Ola & Anna Rosling

This is the kind of book you want to give to everyone after you read it. The subtitle, ‘Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About The World, and Why Things Are Better Than You Think,’ reflects Rosling’s thesis that most of us have a very skewed perspective about how humanity is doing. Rosling starts with a multiple choice quiz about global trends with questions including ‘In all low income countries, how many girls finish primary school?’ and ‘How did the number of deaths per year from natural disasters change over the last hundred years?” that he encourages you to do. You’ll be surprised at how poorly you score. Don’t worry — he’s done the same quiz with thousands of people at all levels of society, and most have a very misaligned view of the current state of things. In each chapter Rosling explores why we interpret data wrong, i.e. our instincts for negativity, generalisation, urgency and blame, using simple graphs and entertaining anecdotes to shed light on how the world is actually faring on a macro scale. Want to change your perspective and be factually informed? Read Factfulness to load up with some cold, hard — but surprisingly optimistic — statistics to whip out at the next dinner party. It’s very good for the soul.

“People often call me an optimist, because I show them the enormous progress they didn’t know about. That makes me angry. I’m not an optimist. That makes me sound naive. I’m a very serious “possibilist”. That’s something I made up. It means someone who neither hopes without reason, nor fears without reason, someone who constantly resists the overdramatic worldview. As a possibilist, I see all this progress, and it fills me with conviction and hope that further progress is possible. This is not optimistic. It is having a clear and reasonable idea about how things are. It is having a worldview that is constructive and useful.” — Dr Hans Rosling

What books have shaped your worldview? Share your recommendations in the comments below!

P.s. I do realise all the books listed are written by men. I’ve read plenty of work by incredible female authors— Virginia Woolf, Gretchen Rubin, Susan Sontag, Brené Brown — but when coming up with this list I went with my initial gut reactions to books I feel have influenced me the most. Do I enjoy the fact they’re all written by men? Absolutely not, but it didn’t feel right to force a book into this short list for the sake of inclusion. I’m actively trying to read more work by women though, so please help a sister out & comment with your recommendations.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this article you could hit that applause button & follow me here on Medium, it really helps other people find my stuff.

I’m a photographer / writer based in Sydney. I’m @annaholling pretty much everywhere, and you can see my work here https://annah.co/.

Let’s be friends — if you’d like to chat please leave a comment or drop me a line at hi@annah.co

7 Books That Changed My Perspective was originally published in Ascent Publication on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

At dinner with friends recently someone posed the question, ‘Is there an opinion that is universally held?’

And guess what? We couldn’t come up with any one opinion that’s probably agreed on by all of humanity. We could come up with facts like ‘the sun is hot’, or opinions you’d hope to be universal, but unfortunately aren’t i.e. ‘rape is bad’, but no singular globally agreed-upon opinion. If anyone thinks of one, let us know in the comments!

This had me thinking about the nature of opinion in 2019. Sitting at the table not having a hot take on whether Universal Basic Income is a good idea, or if Kylie Jenner is really ‘self-made’, can make us feel a bit boring, uneducated, and out of the loop. Having articulated beliefs is part of being a well-rounded adult.

Or is it?

Being ‘opinionated’ used to be a bad thing, but it‘s back in fashion, baby!

The normal state of our mind is to have intuitions and opinions about almost everything that comes our way. Whether we declare them or not, we tend to have answers to questions we do not completely understand, often relying on evidence we can’t always explain or defend. We like knowing things and having something — hopefully informed — to say, and enjoy hearing the thoughts of others.

But we don’t like being wrong.

It only takes a few minutes scrolling Twitter or watching a panel on morning TV to see misinformed, vicious emotional debates unfold, resulting in toxic — rather than productive — conversation. As we’ve become more polarised and sorted by algorithms, aggressive, simplistic arguments are IN, and nuance, humility, and empathy are OUT. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that for humanity as a whole, this is an overwhelmingly bad thing.

Informed by fact or not, people feel strongly about their opinions. From being a little embarrassed in front of your friends to having your whole identity questioned, no one likes feeling stupid. We’re a stubborn lot who struggle to admit when we’re looking at things the wrong way, but the nature of opinion guarantees that not everyone will agree with what we do.

Opinions:

- Are based on a limited set of facts, if factually based at all

- Favour binary thinking: right v wrong

- Are influenced by our own biases

Dependent on current facts or not, there will always be someone to argue against your take. So when we live in a world where social media makes it almost impossible to not know (or at least predict) someone’s stance on something — what’s there to do?

Enter: Let go of your opinions

… and be willing to change your mind when new information comes to light

‘Strong views, loosely held’ is not a new idea, but one we should embrace. Especially now.

Having fewer strong opinions, and embracing the malleability of them, is incredibly freeing. I’m not saying we must drop every opinion, but evaluate whether our opinions are always necessary. There’s a lightness on your shoulders when you realise you don’t have to know whether social media inspires white nationalism, or care if tomato sauce should be kept in the fridge or pantry. It’s not weak to not have a point of view, and it’s wise to admit you don’t have enough information to make an informed decision when difficult topics come up.

When new facts come to our attention we must be willing to change our minds (unless we’re politicians, I guess?) By widening our bubbles and soliciting opinions that don’t automatically validate our own, we can learn from others who know more than us or see the world differently. By stepping away from dogma and treating other people’s points of view with respect, we become empathetic to things our perspective may have overlooked. Maybe the argument for gun ownership isn’t as ill-conceived as I once thought, and perhaps there’s empathy to be had for disgruntled pro-Brexiters. The world will always be more complicated than two-sided arguments.

While having opinions is an important part of being an informed member of society, we needn’t commit ourselves to unchanging viewpoints or to having an opinion on everything. Not having a strong opinion doesn’t mean we don’t care — it just means that we’re accountable in picking battles and conceding fallibility.

We shouldn’t be apathetic, but humbly acknowledging our ignorance in matters we’re not experts in, or have only heard one side of, is the first step to becoming better informed.

And we can always find freedom in putting our hands up and removing ourselves from the debate entirely.

“I don’t know enough to make a serious comment,” is much wiser to admit than sticking by an opinion you never really understood in the first place or thinking that you always have to have something to say.

In my opinion, it feels pretty damn good.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this article you could hit that applause button & follow me here on Medium, it helps other people find my stuff.

I’m a photographer and writer based in Sydney. I’m @annaholling pretty much everywhere, and you can see my work here https://annah.co/.

Let’s be friends! If you’d like to chat please leave a comment or drop me a line at hi@annah.co

The cursor blinks,

‘Go on, describe yourself!’

Option 1: Sell myself as a relatable human, down to clown, a pleasure. That’ll bring in readers/followers/clients, surely? Maybe I’ll mention a silly hobby, or how much I love coffee!

Option 2: Have my bio sound like it’s written by an admiring alien, a student of my existence who’s very kindly taken the time to publish my accomplishments in a neat summary. I’d never describe myself in third person in real life, but that’s not the point! It’ll make me seem professional, an auteur. Someone who doesn’t waste time writing bios, someone busy out doing serious work…

Wait, is this even allowed to be all about me?

HELP.

From early Tumblr days to personal websites, like many of us have a long history wrestling in the arena of self-description. Drawing lines between professional and human, cocky and confident, descriptive and boring etc, has never been straightforward, but I’ve always loved seeing how other people use their bios.

In an age where the internet democratises our ability to create and portfolios are more important than our resumes, everyone knows it’s important to make a first impression. Unfortunately for artists, professionals, and (funnily enough) writers, crafting a bio can be kryptonite. Shrink our professional selves, accomplishments, philosophies, hobbies, and humanity into a miniature life story? It’s like thrusting yourself into a self-created existential crisis… what exactly DO I do?

Go ahead and check your bio. Are you happy with how it presents you to the world? Do you think it needs to present you well? Do you want to change it but are unsure where to start?

If yes, you’re in the right place! Whether you’re writing an about page, some witty lines for Twitter, a hefty personal statement, or a bio for Medium, I’ve collected some pointers to ensure you do yourself some semblance of justice.

DO

Keep it simple. You’ll struggle to impress with a long list of unimpressive things. Everyone wants your bio to be shorter.

Know your audience. A line written for your social media followers will be different from an artist’s statement for an exhibition. Your bio is not to remind you who you are (leave soul-searching for the journal) and should be relevant to the medium.

Have a headshot from this decade. Whatever bio style you choose, at least people will know you have a face. No decent pictures since 2008? No worries! Support a local photographer to spruce up your profile with some glamour shots.

Get creative. Social media is less stuffy than Linkedin or corporate websites, so if you need a few words for the ‘gram, you can chill with the professionalism. But please don’t mention anything about loving coffee, wine, dogs, or travel, and maybe keep the emojis to a minimum.

Proofread! A typo in your bio is not a good look, especially if trying to sell yourself as a writer.

DON’T

Go overboard with the buzzwords. Buzzwords have their place but cool it with the industry jargon. No one knows what a Growth-Hacking Customer-Centric Digital Native working as a Consultant in the Gig-Economy is! Relax!!

Embarrass yourself with overly personal details or heavy self-deprecation. Some comedians and celebrities thrive off self-deprecation or touchy details, but unless you’re confident playing that game, steer clear.

Use quotes. Woah, hey, you read books?! A genius!

Have a bad profile photo. Make sure your photo doesn’t do more harm than good. Show your intended portrait to a trusted confidant, letting them give the all-clear before uploading.

Come across as a garbage human. Shouldn’t have to be said, but here are.

Lots / of / slashes. Guilty… it looks poetic! But this isn’t Tumblr circa 2013. We are slow people with lizard brains and must stop overloading them with information — it just makes it look like we suck at everything. Best stick to one or two trades / professions / areas of expertise.

Rather than list accomplishments or link to external sources, in my experience, the best bios express who a person is. They are a convenient way of telling the world what you do, and you want to be ready for when the right person sees it.

OR…

Maybe we don’t need the perfect bio. Most people aren’t going to judge us over a few lines. Who am I to tell you what to do, anyway? I change my bios more often than my bedsheets.

We’re probably never going to be able to sum ourselves up in a way that will satisfy us for an extended amount of time. As our tastes, skills, and careers progress so will our bios, and at the end of the day, we should be measured by the work we make, not the descriptors we use.

However you decide to write your bio, I look forward to reading it.

And there’s always Twitter Bio Generator.

Anna is a photographer, pyjama enthusiast, and hoarder of internet tabs. She’s really happy that you’ve read this far and would love it if you smashed that applause button (it helps other people find her work). But no pressure! She’s @annaholling pretty much everywhere.

How to Write A Bio was originally published in The Writing Cooperative on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A friend once introduced me to the saying ‘you win or you learn’. It’s comforting to recognise that failure is a stepping stone to accomplishment, and yes, it’s productive to frame whatever happens to you as good.

But what about the beauty in effort alone?

A creative slump, late-night research session, and fantastic eBay find at the end of 2018 had me attempting film photography. I say ‘attempt’ because six rolls of film later I was incredibly disappointed with the objectively bad images, frustrated at all my apparent mistakes.

Film is a steep learning curve from digital — with my new (old) camera I have to do everything manually, the heftiness is foreign, and composing must be done through a flipped-image waist-level viewfinder. I’d never shot film before, so I also made newbie mistakes loading the film, exposing poorly, and not understanding how to troubleshoot when the camera didn’t work. At times it felt like a 3kg paperweight.

The mistakes I made with those first photos were not ones to easily ‘learn’ from. Instead of saying ‘focus a little better’, they scream ‘YOU’RE DOING THIS ALL WRONG!’ They couldn’t neatly fit into the ‘win or learn’ framework. They were a mess.

So I studied, asked for advice from real people (not on forums), and overhauled the way I was making photos with film. Through much trial and error, it’s slowly working.

Six weeks later I’m still not a good analog photographer. I’m impatient with the process, make bad compositions, and get confused when the camera sporadically beeps at me… what do you want NOW!? But the images are decipherable and the hit/miss ratio is improving. Progress.

Of course, it would’ve been nice for those first rolls to turn out, but there’s a charm in the effort they took to make.

They were the start of a new venture and have given me an extra appreciation for the photos that do work. If anything they are painful evidence that everyone starts by sucking.

The trials & tribulations of analog photography reinforce the message that it’s okay — better than okay — to mess up.

Not all of our mistakes need to have redemptive meaning or obvious lessons. Sometimes you just lose time and money (especially when paying for film). All we can do is mourn the loss, be humble, appreciate our effort, and get back to work.

When the cost of failure is small compared to the cost of not trying, what other option is there? Stagnancy?

Lessons, wins, or neither: we fail, then keep trying. Onwards.

P.S. I can use all the trendy film hashtags now! #filmisnotdead #filmisalive #bebrokeshootfilm #noreally #worthitthough

Thanks for reading! If you liked this article you could whack that applause button & follow me here on Medium, it really helps other people find my stuff.

I’m a photographer and writer based in Sydney. You can follow me on social @annaholling and view my work at https://annah.co/.

Let’s be friends — if you’d like to chat please leave a comment or drop me a line at hi@annah.co

When you want to start learning there’s plenty of information out there. Books, articles and Youtube at double speed can sate appetites, but once you’ve mastered the basics of your interest — whatever it may be — you might be unsure of the next step.

So… University? Woah, slow down. Skillshare? Good for general advice but not tailored or practical. Classes at a local centre or college? Potentially, but the commitment can be intimidating.

Enter: Workshops.

Last Summer I joined a street photography workshop in London run by two contemporary photographers — Josh K Jack & Craig Whitehead. Admirable for their collective body of work and dedicated work ethics, it was a steal to have Josh and Craig for the day given the price tag.

Now, street photography isn’t something you ‘need’ an education in, especially compared to more popular, lucrative genres i.e. wedding, portrait. But what it lacks in immediate profit it makes up for in accessibility and personal gratification. Having a camera gives you license to go into the world as an observer motivated by inquiry, being a part of society by documenting it.

Street photography is a fascination with everything human.

While lengthening the beauty of the fleeting everyday seems a noble aspiration, street photography is plagued with difficulties, cliches and murky intentions. It’s an aspiration you must be prepared to waste time in, and grunt work doesn’t guarantee results. So if you want to skip the bullshit and take yourself more seriously as photographer — street or otherwise — getting personal attention from relevant professionals is the fastest way to improve.

CLARIFY YOUR INTENTIONS

Deciding to attend a workshop means you’re taking growth seriously. You’re paying to be here, why? You chose this workshop run by this person, why? Attending a workshop gives you the chance to clarify your ambitions for the day and your hobby as a whole. Do you want to sincerely improve, give yourself a creative challenge, find meaning in your work, become a professional or be pat on the back? Workshops will help you gain this focus.

PRACTICAL, SPECIFIC DIRECTION

Get your notepad (or the Notes app in your phone, it’s 2019) ready — a good workshop should leave you with pages of tailored tips, i.e.

• Sunny day? Shoot at 1/1000, f11 & 1000iso.
• Look through the viewfinder & pretend to be a dawdling tourist.
• Aperture priority mode is not a sin! No need to be manual all the time.
• Set your focus on one thing — be it reflections, windows or raindrops.
• Sometimes a photo works even if it breaks the rules, so stop stressing about them.

You’re at this workshop because something draws you to the work of your teachers — what is it? Josh and Craig answered all the questions we fired at them, so if you find yourself in the same position just freakin’ let loose. You’ve got em cornered! Pay attention, ask questions and seek advice specific to what you’re trying to achieve.

Regardless of gear (some of us has point & shoots, some had 5DMIV’s), we all walked away with the same understanding of how to take better shots. It’s the only thing that matters.

Side note: I wouldn’t recommend going to a workshop until you’re fully comfortable with your gear and basic settings. That’s for Google Page One.

PUSH YOURSELF

A workshop means you are getting to work. No screens or books to hide behind, there’s a real person over your shoulder judging you. All with pure intentions, of course, but if you want to improve you’ll need to get vulnerable about your strengths and weaknesses. Then get to work. There’s no better encouragement than an eye on your back. You don’t go to a surf lessons to watch from the shore, you go to get absolutely DUMPED by waves — this is the same. Be humble and coachable. You’ll only get out what you put in, so listen, take criticism (not personally), and you’ll see progress.

SUPPORT OTHER ARTISTS

Whoever’s teaching has worked hard to achieve their level of mastery, so it’s nice knowing your money goes straight to their wallets rather than a third party or faceless conglomerate. Paying high dollar for a workshop means those artists can keep making high dollar work, so we’re all winners here.

Side note: do your research! See if the workshop has reviews and is taught by legitimate professionals. There’s horror stories of the completely unqualified running weekends costing thousands. Don’t be that sucker.

MEET LIKEMINDED PEOPLE

You’re here for a reason and so is everyone else. You already have a passion in common, so go say hey! A lot of us who met in June still follow each other online and it’s great to see our little community improve. It’s easiest to thrive when you’re supported by others, so get out and start building your network.

Finally, a workshop won’t change your life. There’s no One Secret and you’re not going to become the next *insert idol of choice*. But by prioritizing education and continuing the cycle of learn-make-repeat, you will make progress. Research, try to be taught by someone you admire (although good workshops are unfortunately location-bias towards big cities), pay attention, ask questions, get to work, and you will walk away with insight and experience.

Then go shoot!

Because what you do after the workshop will be the most important thing.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this article you could smash that applause button & follow me here on Medium, it really helps other people find my stuff.

I’m a photographer / writer based in Sydney. You can follow me on social @annaholling and view my work at https://annah.co/.

If you’d like to chat please leave a comment or drop me a line at hi@annah.co — let’s be friends.

Oh no. The white note flickered on the windshield as I approached the car, squinting in disbelief.

Maybe it’s trash? Not a chance. I snatched it off — $112 for parking over the limit in a two hour zone.

‘UGH’ I screamed into the night, like some kind of werewolf triggered by local council authority. This is not what I need right now! (is a parking violation ever something you need?)

I wasn’t going to write this. I didn’t want to the world to know that I’ve relinquished the incredibly average boast of having never received a parking ticket. But instead of condemning myself to be a terrible, inconsiderate citizen for eternity (that’s how correlation works, right?), why not shove some Stoicism into practice? After all, a philosophy created during times of war and strife isn’t just applicable to hardship… it should also be able to help with the banalities.

‘My formula for greatness in a human being is Amor Fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it’ — Nietzsche

Like many lay-people who’ve read the inner thoughts of timeless bamf Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations, I’ve become interested in Stoicism and it’s practical applications. I won’t bore you by reiterating the simple foundations Stoicism provides for living a good life, plenty of other writers do that with more grace than my bad philosophical caricatures, but I will touch on my enthusiasm for ‘Amor Fati’. While not directly linked to the ancient Stoics, the phrase is valuable in turning the art of acceptance into a neat, memorable mantra - and can make you sound like the smartest wanker in the room at parties.

Amor Fati. From Latin it roughly translates to ‘love your fate’, i.e…

• Embrace whatever happens to you because you probably can’t change it anyway.
• Align yourself with your fortune by desiring things exactly as they are.
• Appreciate obstacles for their advantages, there’s good in everything.

A practitioner of Amor Fati needn’t be naive or optimistic, just willing to accept what happens outside their control — good AND bad — with an almost affectionate kind of gratitude. Quite the mental stress ball.

Now, my life hasn’t been affected by any actual hardship, but embracing Amor Fati sure has been successful in dealings with the (often-irritating) everyday.

• Lost files that weren’t backed up? GOOD, at least this happened with personal files, not client ones, and will remind me back up more rigourously.
• Sick? GOOD, use this time to rest and catch up on The Crown.
• Live far away from friends? GOOD, appreciate the time you do spend with them.
• Stuck in traffic? GOOD, time to start listening to that new album I’ve been putting off (why do we put off things we enjoy???)
• Feeling stuck? GOOD, use this time to re-examine life and what you want out of it.
• Laptop needs (an expensive) repair? GOOD, while it’s getting fixed you can read more and have renewed appreciation for the delicacy of your possessions.

Stressful situations, easily reframed. Ciao heart palpitations, hello tranquility!

But surely Amor Fati isn’t applicable to everything. There’s no GOOD in a parking fine, is there? I remember staring at that fat $112 as it taunted my bad decision. I was annoyed at myself for not parking somewhere else, angry at the council for a seemingly arbitrary rule, and enraged at the poor soul who dealt out fines for a living. What are inspectors doing in this suburb at 8pm on a Thursday anyway?! Not my proudest train of thought.

When dumb shit happens, your fault or otherwise, it’s easy to complain.

But badmouthing life’s banalities only creates a stifling atmosphere of toxicity, and who wants to live in that? Nah uh, being regularly disgruntled is the perfect recipe for discontent. So instead of choosing to have a grouchy drive home, I took a deep breath and basked in acceptance. It felt silly, but what other option was there? Go back in time and park somewhere else? When you can’t fight reality, accepting what happens is the only sane option.

It’s unnatural to feel gratitude for things we never wanted in the first place, but there can always be some benefit in the adversity. Even when the adversity is something as trivial as a parking fine. ALRIGHT, I’ll abide by the signs from now on! It might save me from a more expensive penalty down the road. Even when barely perceptible, you can always find the good in a situation and be not just content, but cheerful for it.

‘The blazing fire makes flames and brightness out of everything thrown into it’ — Marcus Aurelius

It’s only money. I’m alive and healthy and so are my loved ones. I’ve turned the situation into material and bloody well written about it. Everything’s just fine.

Amor Fati — love whatever happens. It’s your only option.

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I’m a photographer / writer based in Sydney. You can follow me on social @annaholling and view my work at https://annah.co/.

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