“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.”
 — Vince Lombardi

Over the next weeks I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world. This is a story excerpt from Chapter 9: Keep a Positive Attitude. We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else. Let’s make sure we are having positive conversations!

Perhaps Paul “Bear” Bryant, one of the winningest American football coaches, explains a positive mental attitude best: “I think the most important thing of all for any team is a winning attitude. The coaches must have it. The players must have it. The student body must have it. If you have dedicated players who believe in themselves, you don’t need a lot of talent.”

Bryant, best known as the University of Alabama football coach, led his team to victory in 323 out of 362 games. Under his leadership, they won six national championships, thirteen Southeastern Conference titles, and were selected for bowl games twenty-four times.

He used his winning philosophy to bring out the championship execution needed of his team. Bryant focused on the players’ most positive performances by showing them film footage of the plays they starred in, saying, “I know what it takes to win. If I can sell them on what it takes to win, then we are not going to lose too many football games.” This coach won because he understood that what you pay attention to will become more prevalent in your life.

Manager Joe Maddon was at the helm when the Chicago Cubs finally won a World Series Championship after a 108-year drought, the biggest losing gap of any baseball team. Maddon, who was known for his positive demeanor, guided the team to outlive their unfortunate nickname: the “lovable losers.”

There was no shortage of drama in their drive to win it all. In the best of a seven-game series, a back-and-forth final World Series Game Seven was looking a little more hopeless when the Cubs lost the lead in the eighth inning. Feeling down after giving up the lead, the team huddled in the visiting clubhouse weight room during a twenty-minute rain delay.

The team talk led by veteran player Jason Heyward who had been in a yearlong slump, gave an opportunity for teammates to remind each other of their greatness and the positive lessons Maddon had reiterated all year long: “Do simple better,” “Embrace the target,” and “Try not to suck.” Maddon set lofty goals for his players and expected them to show up with their “A” game. He reminded his team that no one was more important than anyone else — they all mattered.

Sure, they had just lost the lead, but Heyward reminded them that winning and coming from behind was why they won 103 games during the regular season, no small feat — the most wins of any other Major League Baseball team that season.

The rain delay subsided, and the two teams resumed their face-off. A reinvigorated Cubs team made a comeback. A two-run rally in the tenth inning was enough to earn the win. Finally, after over one hundred years as a champion-less ball club, the Chicago Cubs earned the world title. No more “wait until next year” under the positive attitude of the 2015 Manager of the Year, Joe Maddon.

One way to manifest success like Bear Bryant and Joe Maddon is to open new neural pathways in your mind. Think of neural pathways as the “autopilot” of your brain. For example, every day we take the same route to school or work, our brain goes into autopilot, not thinking too much about how we are going to get there; we just do it. The same thing can happen when we start thinking of negative beliefs: they become autopilot and become our reality. So to create positive neural pathways, we start by creating our own affirmations.

Our subconscious mind is a million times more powerful than our conscious mind. Framing how we talk to ourselves is powerful. You talk to yourself more than anyone else! Make sure you are having positive conversations. This is called self-talk.

Just like being in a state of gratitude, positive mental thoughts also stimulate dopamine — those “happy chemicals” that make us feel happy and excited. We believe we will succeed. When we believe in our self, we keep moving forward, no matter what.

Thinking positive happy thoughts using the words “I am…,” is a good starting point because they are the two most powerful words that our minds hear. When the subconscious mind hears the words “I am,” a believability factor kicks in that whatever follows “I am” is true. So, when we say “I am stupid,” or “I am not going to do well on this test,” or “I am not going to get the job I want,” our mind believes these limiting beliefs that hold us back from achieving all that we desire. However, if we think “I am smart,” or “I am your affirmation where you will see it every day.

Think of a few positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself to bring positive energy into your life.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email.

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”
 — Eleanor Roosevelt

Over the next weeks I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world.This is a story excerpt from Chapter 5: Identify Emotions. Understanding emotions is a core competency that helps regulate our behavior in different situations. The better we understand our emotions, the better we can respond to our emotions. In this chapter readers learn the three emotion elements. They practice naming their emotion and identifying their emotion cues as well as practice strategies for a healthy response.

The Wolves Within
An old grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

“I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

“But hate wears you down and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

“But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

“Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

Anger is an emotion. Understanding our emotions or feelings is important because they motivate us to act and help us survive and avoid danger. Emotions can help us make decisions as well as allow understanding between people.

Abraham Lincoln once referred to his feelings as his religion, saying, “When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad.” There is a lot of profound truth in what Lincoln thought; feelings are our most dependable guidance system to knowing when we do good or bad. Feelings are an immediate indicator of our emotions — and all our emotions come from a place of either love or fear.

Emotions can be short-lived, such as annoyance at a sister, brother, or classmate. They can also be long-lasting, such as enduring sadness over the loss of a beloved relationship. When we begin to pay attention to how we are feeling, we are better equipped to understand and handle our emotions in a mature way.

The better we understand our emotions, the better we can respond to our emotions. For example, if we know what makes us tick (subjective) and know the cues our body is giving us (physiological), we can better prepare our physical response or our behavior (expressive). Or as in our wolf story, it is choosing the wolf we wish to feed.

Recognize that we have a choice in how we respond to situations. Importantly, when we identify our cues, we can quickly work on calming techniques to relax the part of the body that is feeling tense. Communication and acknowledgement play an important role in how we think and behave, and are key to healthy emotional responses.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon link. If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or april@becomingawesome.net

Over the next weeks I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed in life. This is a story from Chapter 21 Challenge Your Comfort Zone featuring Cesar Chavez.

Chavez grew up a poor migrant farm worker and went on to co-found the United Farm Worker Union with Delores Huerta. Quiet and shy, it is hard to imagine that Chavez, a five-foot-four-inch, soft-spoken, eighth-grade-educated Mexican American going up against the biggest grower in the United States and the superpower Teamsters union and emerging victorious. This excerpt features a story about how Chavez challenged his comfort zone as a rising new young leader in the Community Service Organization.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” — Albert Einstein

If mistakes are never being made, we are not getting out of our comfort zone. A comfort zone is a boundary we have set for ourselves inside of which things feel familiar, safe, and easy. There is a low level of stress and anxiety when we operate in our comfort zone.

Venturing out of our comfort zone requires courage. When trying something new or unfamiliar, it evokes anxiety and vulnerability. Accordingly, once something new is tried, we learn from it and expand our comfort zone.

The way to get rid of our fear is to replace the fear-based image with the opposite positive outcome. This is the confidence-building ritual Cesar Chavez followed to find his own success in facing his own fears.

Chavez was very shy. Going door-to-door to register voters was very intimidating to him. The first time he went to a house and knocked on the door, a woman answered. Nervous and unable to get a word out, the lady, who was getting impatient, stared at Chavez and asked: “Well? Well?” Fortunately, she knew his mom and knew Chavez was coming over to register voters, so she finally just said, “You are here to register voters, right?” She did register, but Chavez left embarrassed.

He went home and practiced on a few acquaintances, especially those he knew would give him a hard time. Chavez gained confidence and believed in a more positive outcome through his practice. Starting on his trek again, Chavez went to house after house and did not take no for an answer.

Chavez faced his own fears again when he started organizing with the Community Service Organization (CSO). When Chavez arrived at his first house meeting, he drove around the block again and again until he had the courage to go in. Once he was in the house, he sat in the corner and said nothing until someone complained about “when the organizer would get there.” An embarrassed Chavez was the organizer. He considered the meeting a “disaster.” He fumbled around, trying to keep his thoughts in order. Chavez asked attendees to keep holding house meetings. They agreed but only because he thought they felt sorry for him.

Chavez imagined himself being successful by taking steps to improve his house meeting technique. Often, he lay in bed at night, practicing what he was going to say at the next house meeting. Every night, he went over in his mind what he said or did that worked to engage the meeting attendees. At the next house meeting he was a little better, corrected his mistakes, and found success at that meeting. Chavez’s desire to defeat his fear and do better paid off because he eventually was promoted to the national director of the CSO.

Are you beginning to see a relationship between continuously learning, making mistakes, and becoming less afraid to challenge your comfort zone? In getting through life, following a life of meaning is not always easy — it takes courage to face the unknown.

Having the courage to be uncomfortable and try something new, then seeing that we survived is what makes us less afraid to challenge our comfort zone boundary.

Reflect on the following:

• Have you ever been in a situation like Cesar Chavez, feeling unprepared, timid, or humiliated?
• How did you handle the situation? Did you face the situation head-on, or did let your own fear get in the way?
• How could you have handled the situation better?

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email april@becomingawesome.net or like my Facebook page.

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world. This is a story excerpt from Chapter 18. In this chapter readers reflect on staying in integrity when making choices. Readers practice saying no or yes strategies. There are consequences for their actions — saying yes or no is up to them.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

— Martin Luther King Jr.

The challenges we face and how we choose to navigate our journey is one way to understand our own integrity. Integrity is a whole life experience. It means we do what’s right, even when it may cause us to be uncomfortable or to experience difficulties. Gandhi called life “one indivisible whole,” saying, “For one man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department.”

Some choose to follow a shortcut, or a route falling far short of the best outcome for all concerned. Reading the latest news, we become witness to a variety of stories displaying individuals who damage their integrity by making irresponsible decisions — from politicians taking bribes, news anchors embellishing stories, police departments falsely accusing (or killing) innocent victims, and athletes using illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

A most recent example happened in 2019, when well-to-do parents payed off college admissions officials, sports coaches, or test administrators for their child to gain acceptance into a prestigious college. They took an unethical “side door” by cheating on entrance exams and lying about their children’s high school extracurricular credentials. The college admissions scandal was exposed, parents were arrested, went to jail, paid hefty fines, and performed hours of community service.

These situations bring into question how capable people lose — or never find — their moral conscience. Desiring instant gratification that may increase power, money, and prestige, these opportunistic leaders get caught in their poor decision making and were left with remorseful and short-lived distinction.

Choosing manipulative, sneaky, dishonest ways, those who choose profits over people, entitlement over disadvantage, or vanity over humility are often left to work even harder to rebuild their reputation of honor and trustworthiness — or their integrity. Some merely fade away, or worse, land in jail.

Choose Honor

In situations that call on our integrity, choosing honor is the most desirable path. Or as Martin Luther King Jr. stated, “I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.”

At times we can be fooled into the abuse of power. In a split second, a spontaneous decision leaves us feeling trapped, caught off guard, or fearful. Getting caught up in unethical choices for instant gratification or a perceived larger than life opportunity, we wind up with a damaged self-image. When we begin to make excuses for taking inappropriate actions for our own self-serving benefit, we fall out of integrity and may be left with severe consequences that take a lifetime to heal and reclaim our humility.

King recognized the unethical path that some people are prone to take. In a hurry to be someone, they “sacrifice truth on the altars of self-interest.” Integrity stems from the daily practice of staying on the most ethical path. Consider the everyday opportunities we are given to make the most honorable decisions:

• Taking credit for someone’s work or giving praise to a schoolmate’s performance.
• Betraying a friend’s trust or keeping information confidential.
• Gossiping or being the empowered bystander who tells others to stop.
• Plagiarizing a paper because of poor planning, or saying no to a fun night out knowing work needs to be done.
• Taking part in sharing unkind photos on social media or telling a person to delete and stop, plus informing a trusted adult.
• Stalking off after losing a desired victory or congratulating the winning team.
• Littering or finding a trash can to throw garbage away.

There will be times we will be asked to sacrifice our honor for someone else’s corrupt or dishonest behavior. This is when our own integrity is tested.

Our choices say a lot about our own integrity. When we choose in favor of honesty and fairness, we become more trustworthy and recognized as living with integrity. Remember, there are consequences for our actions. When faced with a choice, we always have the ability to say “no” or “yes.” It is essential to remember that choosing honor is always the best choice.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) The eBook is $0.99 until May 15. If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or april@becomingawesome.net

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. Becoming Awesome! is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world. This is an excerpt from Chapter 12. In this chapter readers are challenged to become more deeply aware of another’s viewpoint. Readers are challenged to practice arguing in favor of a perspective contrary to their own beliefs as well as discuss the value of sharing diverse perspectives.

“Everyone holds a piece of the truth.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Differing opinions or perspectives often lead to a lack of compromise. When we have a strong belief, it is challenging to listen to another perspective — especially when the opinion is in opposition to our view.

Discussing the controversy surrounding one’s feeling over another person’s feelings, think for a moment how well we understand our opponent’s position. Why, for instance, do some people believe background checks are not necessary to obtain a gun, or why do some want all Confederate statues removed? Or why do some want to keep borders open and others want to build a wall? Instead of understanding each other better, people become defensive, feelings get hurt, progress stagnates, and nothing gets accomplished.

Recognizing and respecting differences, however, does not make our own opinion wrong. Being open to hearing another’s perspective doesn’t mean we have to agree or change our mind. Nor does acknowledgment mean agreement; rather, it calls for understanding and opens the door to wisdom, compassion, and respect.

In Gandhi’s search for the truth, he derived that we are born of pure love, so we are innately wired to pursue good and be understanding and caring human beings; therefore, compromise is always possible. Gandhi concluded that having a rational discussion was the best way to resolve conflict “because I am never sure that I am right.” Compromise begins when we understand there are at least two sides to every perspective. The process to persuade another to our side begins by first understanding what others believe.

Mlle Souvestre, Eleanor’s headmaster at Allenswood Academy, taught Eleanor that, “You never know what you think until you argue the position of your fiercest critic with equal respect.” During her school days in England, Eleanor practiced debating her classmates on the most controversial issues of the time like Indian independence or the legal fate of the African Americans, arguing contrary to her viewpoint. She became more aware of the two different ideas, discovering new knowledge or considerations she had never thought of before. Eleanor’s experience left her to advise others not to “think only in absolutes” especially when they were “deeply stirred emotionally,” but to be mindful “that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things.”

The reflective lesson stayed with Eleanor throughout her lifetime. Eleanor’s ability to respectfully listen, understand, and provide a civilized platform for others to share their opinions made her a natural fit as the elected delegate and chairperson of the Committee on Human Rights. The gathering of international delegates included representation from fifty-eight countries. The multicultural committee had the mission of declaring the ideals about how human beings everywhere should treat each other. Eleanor was tasked with drafting the declaration.

Her political insight and diplomatic skills proved successful when the Declaration of Human Rights was unanimously approved by the General Assembly. Her winning success came from an attitude of listening with respect. “Love can often be misguided and do as much harm as good, but respect can do only good,” she advised. “It assumes that the other person’s stature is as large as one’s own, his rights as reasonable, his needs as important.” Today, fifty years later, the Declaration of Human Rights is still the global human rights doctrine referred to for universal guidance on how we treat one another.

An open-minded attitude allows us to see things from a different perspective. When we listen with a positive intent and an open mind, we can separate disagreement from criticism or judgment. Most importantly, when we take on an unbiased attitude, compromise is possible.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link). Don’t miss out! The eBook is only $0.99 until May 11. If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email.

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world. This is a story excerpt from Chapter 7 of my book. Understanding comparison triggers and practicing making the shift from negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts are some of the activities included in this chapter.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy. — Theodore Roosevelt

Social media has a wonderful connecting quality. We stay in touch with our friends, share our accomplishments and bragging rights, vacation highlights, sporting event successes, prom and homecoming gatherings. We receive empathy and support when we are grieving or feel sad.

On the other hand, there is also social media envy. This is when we trap ourselves into comparing how many “likes” or “birthday greetings” we received over our frenemy. Or, for example, comparing ourselves to Kylie Jenner and feeling more disappointed with our lives about our body image, house size, vacation destinations, and so on. These social comparisons leave us feeling regret, guilt, and worthlessness.

Indeed, comparisons serve us if they come from a place of love. For example, we may set goals by comparing ourselves to those who are outstanding in their field or living a full life that we aspire to duplicate for ourselves. These guides inspire us and create a vision of possibility for us to strive toward by imitating their recipe for success. Twenty-two year old Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast ever, sees her success as inspiring “a lot of the little girls out there to go in the gym and train harder.”

Comparison also leaves us with greater gratitude. We see those less fortunate and feel grateful for what we have. A sick child helps us appreciate our vitality; a homeless teen leaves us feeling grateful that we have a roof over our heads; or seeing someone lose someone beloved, we count our blessings for our loved ones with us today.

When we start to compare ourselves to someone else, believing we are not deserving or we are not good enough, we tap into our fear-based or negative emotions: envy, jealousy, resentment, or rivalry. When we compare from our most fear-based emotions, those comparisons are now, as Mark Twain described, the “death of joy.”

Living vicariously through someone else’s life and limiting ourselves because we believe we are not good enough or can never achieve are limiting beliefs holding us back. Limiting beliefs are those ideas or thoughts we believe that simply are not true. When we believe these thoughts, we limit our ability to do any better. We will learn more about limiting beliefs in Chapter 22.

When Abraham Lincoln started his journey to make a name for himself, he did not fit in with the lawyers and astute politicians that became his inner circle. Where they had natural grace and sophistication, Lincoln was awkward and unpolished. Many attended top-notch schools, lived in beautiful homes, and possessed proper manners and etiquette.

Lincoln, on the other hand, was self-taught, raised in the backwoods of Indiana, and spoke with an uncultivated slangy accent. He knew he was not the most handsome or educated man, and his “ungodly” appearance stood out as different from his many cultured friends. What Lincoln did do was accept his imperfections as part of him. He did not compare himself with others, dwell on any deficiency, or even wish anything was different. Abraham Lincoln accepted himself as he was — he loved himself unconditionally. Lincoln’s self-love lesson for us is, “You be you.”

Loving yourself begins by unconditionally accepting who you are. We no longer feel an urge to make excuses or feel inferior because of some lack of skill, school, or life position. Being prettier, smarter, thinner, fatter, taller, shorter, more talented, or whatever has no significance because self-love is unconditional acceptance of yourself. The magic question to ask yourself:

Why not you?

You have more potential than you know. Every student can be incredibly successful. Lincoln reminds us, “That some achieve great success is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” We all have something we are brilliant at and contribute something of incredible value. There is no one like you, and your uniqueness is what makes the world a diverse and interesting place to live. With our great diversity, there is great balance.

Becoming Awesome! ebook is available now on Amazon (link) for only $0.99 until May 11. If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or april@becomingawesome.net

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world. This is an excerpt from Chapter 3: Love Yourself More. In this chapter we explore the idea of self love, a topic I wish I would have understood better when I was a teenager.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” — Lucille Ball

Understanding Self-Love
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” She was right. We can only love and accept others to the extent that we love and accept ourselves. If the question is asked how do we give more love, the answer is to love ourselves more.

As we begin our journey into Becoming Awesome! we must begin by examining our own capacity to love our self. The relationship with yourself is first and foremost the most important relationship when it comes to taking the lead on your own life.

Understandably, the idea of loving ourselves “more” may be opposite to what we have been taught, so first let’s be clear by defining what we mean by self-love. We are not talking about personality traits like conceit, arrogance, and self-importance or narcissism. Self-love is heart-centered, giving expression to kindness, compassion, and respect toward our own selves. When we treat ourselves in a loving way, we take care of ourselves. We make choices that bring fun and enjoyment to our lives, we appreciate our contribution, are genuinely grateful for kindness showed to us, we accept our mistakes, and can forgive ourselves.

Consider how many times we have heard the notion that it is better to give than to receive. Educator Booker T. Washington said that, “Those who are happiest are those who do most for others.” Holocaust victim Anne Frank reminds us that, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” The advice actor Denzel Washington provides is, “At the end, it’s not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished. It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.” Or author/poet Maya Angelou tells us, “When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” Media mogul Oprah Winfrey recommends: “To move forward, you have to give back.” We can go on and on.

Here is the twist: We cannot give anything unless we have something to give within ourselves. To see others as worthy, we must first see ourselves as worthy; to see others as deserving, we must acknowledge we deserve; and feeling compassion toward ourselves is necessary before it is possible to feel compassion for others, and so on. Simply put, our capacity to love others is only as great as our capacity to love ourselves. Being kinder, gentler, and more compassionate toward oneself is what makes it possible for us to treat others the same.

Living Authentically
Loving ourselves guides us to live authentically. Living authentically means what we say and what we do are in harmony. Our most authentic self is brought to light when we come from a place of love. A great leader, Abraham Lincoln, chose time and time again to live an authentic life, a life represented by his true nature.

One example is when it looked like Lincoln might not win his bid for a second term as president. During this period his allies pressured him to drop the Thirteenth Amendment that abolished slavery. They tried to convince Lincoln that his choice to stand by the questionable decree could cost him the closely contested presidential race against General George McClellan. Lincoln refused to budge.

Instead, Lincoln demonstrated his own capacity for self-love by staying true to his authentic self, telling his supporters, “I desire to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.” Lincoln did go on to win the election — and by a substantial margin.

Self-love is the essence of who we are. It is not something we acquire, it is the real you. Our real self is complete fearlessness, unconditional love, and abiding joy. Becoming our greatest selves rests in our own ability to love — beginning with loving our self.

Throughout Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders, we reconnect to this important attribute. You will see that love is the greatest emotion and the most powerful tool we have available to us. “Without love, there is no reason to know anyone,” advises Martin Luther King Jr., “for love will in the end connect us to our neighbors, our children, and our hearts.”

Practice Self Love! Here are 10 self-love activities:

• Carve out guilt free daily time to do something you love to do! Crafts, read, listen to music, play a sport, etc.
• Start a nightly gratitude journal, begin with I am so happy and grateful that I…
• Treat yourself to your favorite meal — include candles, music, your best friend
• Enjoy being pampered at the spa
• Take a hike or a long walk
• Spend time sitting on a beach, by a pool or go on a boat ride
• Spend time with someone you love being around — including a 4 legged friend
• Buy yourself fresh flowers
• Do yoga or meditate
• Plan a fun night out with friends

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email me at april@becomingawesome.net

As I take one last look over my book Becoming Awesome! before it goes to publication, I paused when I came to this sentence (written quite a while ago) from the book introduction:

“No one is sure what dilemmas or complex problems lie ahead for us.”

Hmmmm. Certainly, I understood the meaning I wanted to convey here. After all, anyone who knows me also knows my personal mantra “So much can happen in six months.” Explaining to my latest listener that six months from now our lives can be so unbelievably different than anything we could ever imagine.

Indeed, no one could fathom six months ago we would be sheltering inside, remotely working or schooling, missing baseball season, giving up graduations and proms, chatting with our friends through Zoom instead of meeting at our typical hang out. We are worried for our friends and families, our jobs, income, and savings. Sadly, we are grieving over unexpectedly losing someone close to us.

Now time is spent revisiting our values, shifting our priorities, reconnecting with family and friends, appreciating staples — like toilet paper. As new normal settles in, we rethink the small niceties we took for granted — like a handshake or high five. We have a deeper appreciation and more gratitude for medical workers, teachers, child care workers and truck drivers.

We are jolted into a new reality. We are making a shift. We learn, unlearn and then relearn. We adapt. We persevere. How well we adapt to these new life lessons has much to do with our own emotional intelligence or life skills lessons that are put to test.

The impetus for my book came after my stint as a CEO of a program that helped at-risk youth find a more productive approach to their risk-taking antics. As part of an 8-week program, teens were guided by facilitators who focused on building emotional intelligence and life skills like self-awareness, identifying values, understanding emotions, treating others with respect and making positive choices.

During my four year tenure, I witnessed a transformation in participants’ attitudes and behaviors when they were shown and taught these skills. Students started working harder at school and in relationships because there were getting clearer about who they were and how this made a positive contribution in their families and communities. They understood the positive impact they could have on their future and in the world. Parents who were seeing positive changes in their children were continually asking me why this learning was not part of the regular school curriculum.

After four years of this fulfilling work, I knew there was a better way to influence more teens to tap into their unlimited potential. That is why I wrote: Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders.

Because “No one is sure what dilemmas or complex problems lie ahead for us.”

I have always had a core belief in the value of learning emotional intelligence and life skills. Each generation faces new realities, they need to be better equipped to find solutions, persevere, and find success. By equipping students with skills, resources, and life lessons so they are prepared for their future, the better chance they have for long-term prosperity and success.

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email april_lara@sbcglobal.net.

Why I Wrote Becoming Awesome! was originally published in Why I Wrote Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders

As I take one last look over my book Becoming Awesome! before it goes to publication, I paused when I came to this sentence (written quite a while ago) from the book introduction:

“No one is sure what dilemmas or complex problems lie ahead for us.”

Hmmmm. Certainly, I understood the meaning I wanted to convey here. After all, anyone who knows me also knows my personal mantra “So much can happen in six months.” Explaining to my latest listener that six months from now our lives can be so unbelievably different than anything we could ever imagine.

Indeed, no one could fathom six months ago we would be sheltering inside, remotely working or schooling, missing baseball season, giving up graduations and proms, chatting with our friends through Zoom instead of meeting at our typical hang out. We are worried for our friends and families, our jobs, income, and savings. Sadly, we are grieving over unexpectedly losing someone close to us.

Now time is spent revisiting our values, shifting our priorities, reconnecting with family and friends, appreciating staples — like toilet paper. As new normal settles in, we rethink the small niceties we took for granted — like a handshake or high five. We have a deeper appreciation and more gratitude for medical workers, teachers, child care workers and truck drivers.

We are jolted into a new reality. We are making a shift. We learn, unlearn and then relearn. We adapt. We persevere. How well we adapt to these new life lessons has much to do with our own emotional intelligence or life skills lessons that are put to test.

The impetus for my book came after my stint as a CEO of a program that helped at-risk youth find a more productive approach to their risk-taking antics. As part of an 8-week program, teens were guided by facilitators who focused on building emotional intelligence and life skills like self-awareness, identifying values, understanding emotions, treating others with respect and making positive choices.

During my four year tenure, I witnessed a transformation in participants’ attitudes and behaviors when they were shown and taught these skills. Students started working harder at school and in relationships because there were getting clearer about who they were and how this made a positive contribution in their families and communities. They understood the positive impact they could have on their future and in the world. Parents who were seeing positive changes in their children were continually asking me why this learning was not part of the regular school curriculum.

After four years of this fulfilling work, I knew there was a better way to influence more teens to tap into their unlimited potential. That is why I wrote: Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders.

Because “No one is sure what dilemmas or complex problems lie ahead for us.”

I have always had a core belief in the value of learning emotional intelligence and life skills. Each generation faces new realities, they need to be better equipped to find solutions, persevere, and find success. By equipping students with skills, resources, and life lessons so they are prepared for their future, the better chance they have for long-term prosperity and success.

Over the next weeks and months, I will be sharing excerpts and stories from my book, Becoming Awesome! Life Lessons from the World’s Greatest Leaders in this article series. This book is for anyone who wants to prepare teens with the 21st century skills needed to succeed and contribute positively to their families, communities, and the world.

Becoming Awesome! is available now on Amazon (link) If you enjoyed what you read, let’s connect. You can reach me on LinkedIn or email.