I recently came across one of those lifespan timeline charts that made the rounds online.

It shows a human life stretched from age eighteen to ninety, broken into colored blocks. Each color represents how the average person spends their time. Work, sleep, commuting, and daily responsibilities take up most of the space. What’s left is a narrow strip reserved for what the chart suggests is real living.

The effect is immediate. You can see an entire life laid out in front of you, and most of it looks already accounted for. In many ways, the chart is accurate. But it also flattens something important. It doesn’t just show how time is spent. It makes a judgment about what that time is worth.

Work sits in one of the largest blocks. So does family care, routine, and everything that keeps life functioning. These parts are treated as background noise, as if they exist only to be endured on the way to something more meaningful.

For a lot of people, those background hours are not separate from life. They are where life happens.

Work is one example. On paper, it sits in the “obligation” category, something that consumes time rather than fulfills it. But that framing doesn’t hold in real life. Work is often where friendships form, where problems get solved, and where confidence builds over time. Even when it is imperfect, it structures large parts of identity and memory. It isn’t always something standing in the way of living. For many people, it is the setting in which living takes place.

Family sits in a similar place. A chart can label it as "responsibility," something that reduces personal freedom. But that misses what those years contain. Meals that blur into routine, conversations that seem ordinary at the time, the repetition of showing up for other people without thinking about it. These moments don’t feel important while they happen, but they surface later when people talk about their lives. Not as interruptions to life, but as life itself.

What the chart struggles to capture is that meaning doesn’t sit in the narrow strip it reserves for personal freedom. It shows up inside the larger blocks too, inside parts of life that don’t look like freedom when reduced to categories.

That reduction is the real issue. The chart splits life into two types of time: time that counts and time that doesn’t. Once you accept that split, everything starts to feel distorted. Work becomes something you do before living. Responsibilities become something you manage so you can return to living. Even relationships risk being treated as interruptions unless they fit the right category.

But most people don’t experience life that way. Life doesn’t pause until the “real” parts begin. It’s mixed together in ways that don’t separate cleanly when you try to map it.

When I think about my own life, the moments that stay with me aren’t isolated the way the chart suggests. They come from ordinary stretches of time that wouldn’t stand out on a visual timeline. Time with family. Conversations that weren’t planned. Days that felt unremarkable while they were happening.

They don’t feel like exceptions. They feel like the substance of it. The chart isn’t wrong about how time is distributed. It’s wrong about what that distribution means. It treats large parts of life as if they are getting in the way of living. But for most people, those are the parts where life takes shape.

The colored blocks aren’t time taken away from life. They are life itself.

“No matter how hard you work, you stay in the same place.”

Unfortunately, that’s how work was designed to work.

Modern jobs were never meant to make you free. They were built to keep you productive, not to help you build something of your own. The system rewards output, not growth. It measures your value by how much you can produce, not by who you are or what you could become.

Work takes your best hours. By the time you get home, your energy is gone. You might plan to learn a new skill, start a project, or read something that could change your perspective. But instead, you only have enough energy to get ready for the next day.

People don’t have time to invest. They don’t have time to run errands because most places operate on the same 9–5 schedule. They barely have time for their families unless it’s the weekend. The cycle keeps going, and most of us accept it because we’ve been taught that this is how life works.

Few people escape the rat race. They start businesses, find loopholes, or inherit opportunities that let them step off the treadmill — which is something we’re seeing happening more every day thanks to the gig economy. They’re used to convincing the rest of us that if we just try harder, we’ll make it too. The truth is, the system only works when most people don’t.

The U.S. Social Climate Now — Time, Stability, Risk

Right now in the United States, the social climate reflects many of these pressures. A government shutdown has forced hundreds of thousands of federal employees into unpaid furlough or work-without-pay status. (WFSU News) Many of those families are one pay period away from serious financial risk. Rent and mortgages still comes due. Groceries don’t wait. Day care bills don’t pause just because someone is in limbo. (GovInfo)

The shutdown is a vivid example of how the system treats time, labor, and survival. Workers who believed they had stability found themselves in flux overnight. The idea of upward mobility takes a hit when your income disappears but your expenses stay. Many are working more than one job, or scrambling for side income, just so they don’t lose ground.

A Story of Furlough, Dream, and Reality

Take the story of Isaac Stein. He works as a lawyer for the Internal Revenue Service. Like many during the shutdown, he was furloughed. Rather than just wait, he turned to a childhood dream: running a hot dog cart in Washington, D.C. (Reuters)

He opened a cart called “Shysters Dogs,” sorted the permits, wore his suits while serving hot dogs, and made a light-hearted business out of serious circumstances. He said he was doing this partly for the community, partly because the office work had been too solitary. (Business Insider)

His story matters because it shows dual truths. Someone who had the mindset to pivot. On the other hand, it shows how vulnerable even a “stable” job can be when the system shifts. Anyone can find themselves needing to improvise, needing a backup, needing a dream turned immediate. In a way, there’s a sense of inspiration to show others of how our country was at one point.

Once A Nation of Builders

Stories like Isaac’s remind us of something deeper about this country. The United States began as a nation of builders. In the early days, most people worked for themselves — farmers, blacksmiths, carpenters, small merchants. Independence wasn’t just an ideal; it was daily life. You survived by creating, trading, and building value directly with your hands and your ideas.

That all changed during the Industrial Revolution. Factories, railroads, and corporations needed a steady workforce to keep the machines running. People moved from rural areas to cities, trading freedom for security. The paycheck replaced personal ownership. By the early 1900s, being an employee had become the new normal.

At first, that shift felt like progress. Regular income, benefits, and the promise of a career seemed to offer stability that entrepreneurship could not. But over time, the system changed again. The ladders shortened. The pensions disappeared. The dream of steady work turned into a cycle of dependence, where most people work just to keep up.

What began as a country of creators slowly turned into a country of workers. Isaac’s hot dog cart isn’t just a story about one man during a shutdown — it’s a glimpse of what America once was: a place where people built their own path, even when the system stopped supporting them.

Many Are a Paycheck Away From Poverty

When you strip this down, most Americans are just one paycheck, one emergency, one shutdown away from calamity. The system keeps time for the employers or the institutions. It keeps control of the calendar, the hours, the work-to-life ratio. It ensures most people have enough to survive, but rarely enough to thrive, rarely enough to build the margin that leads to freedom.

If you’re working all hours, commuting, responding to emails, filling others’ calendars, you won’t have the time to invest financially or personally. You won’t have time to try something new, to learn something outside your job, to ask yourself what you really want, or to spend time with your family. And when you’re living without room for error, that’s the most dangerous state of all.

What Change Could Look Like

It starts with awareness. Once you understand that the system isn’t broken, but working exactly as intended, then you can start making choices that serve you instead of the system. Small choices like setting boundaries at work, choosing pockets of time that belong only to you, learning something new even if it’s inconvenient.

It means redefining what “upward mobility” means. Maybe it’s not the next promotion or bigger title. Instead, it’s time freedom, creative freedom, the freedom to explore who you are and what you could build.

Because the truth is, freedom doesn’t come from working harder. It comes from realizing who benefits when you never stop.

We’re constantly bombarded with news, notifications, and entertainment. From endless social media scrolling to mindless TikTok videos, it’s easy to become overstimulated. The more time we’re on our screens, the less time we’re working on our true goals. We find ourselves procrastinating, overwhelmed, and disconnected from what truly matters to us. But how do we refocus and break free from this cycle of distraction?

In this article, I’ll share strategies to help you refocus on your goals, tap into your inner desires, and build a fulfilling life. By understanding science distraction and motivation, we can create actionable steps that lead us back to what we value most.

The Attention Economy

Social media (and media in general) is designed to capture our attention for a purpose, so it’s no wonder that we struggle to stay focused. The rise of video based social media, streaming services, and news alerts has created a constant flow of stimuli that puts our priorities on the back burner.

According to a study published in Psychological Science, people are more likely to experience cognitive overload in environments with constant distractions, leading to reduced attention spans and diminished task performance (Ophir et al., 2009).

This overstimulation triggers our brain’s reward system. Social media, for instance, is designed to give us instant gratification through likes, shares, and comments. Dopamine, the brain’s pleasure chemical, surges every time we get a notification, teaching us to crave instant feedback and constant stimulation. But, as research by neuroscientist Dr. Adam Alter suggests in his book Irresistible, this constant pursuit of quick rewards can ultimately make us more anxious, distracted, and unproductive. We’ve been trained to seek immediate gratification, leaving us disconnected from long-term goals and values.

The Result? Inactivity and Unfulfilled Potential

When we’re continuously distracted, it becomes difficult to make meaningful progress toward our goals. Psychologist Dr. Roy Baumeister’s research on self-control has shown that the more often we give in to temptations (whether it’s scrolling through social media or binge-watching Netflix), the less self-control we have to pursue longer-term goals (Baumeister et al., 1998).

Essentially, every small act of distraction depletes our cognitive resources, leaving us with less mental energy to focus on what we truly want in life.

This overstimulation also has a direct impact on our intrinsic motivation. The inner drive to pursue goals that align with our values and passions. When we’re distracted by external rewards, we lose touch with these internal desires. As a result, we may end up pursuing goals that are superficial, unsatisfying, or dictated by external influences.

The Solution: Refocusing and Living with Purpose

The good news is that it’s entirely possible to break free from the cycle of overstimulation and rediscover your true desires. These tips are ones that I’ve used to get back to what matters most.

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present. Studies show that mindfulness meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance emotional regulation (Zeidan et al., 2010). When we’re mindful, we become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, and distractions, allowing us to choose where to direct our attention.

How to Do It
Start with just five minutes each day. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on breathing. If your mind wanders, bring your attention back to your breath. Over time, you’ll find it easier to stay focused on the present moment.

How it’s helped me
The first step to mindfulness is realizing you’re being distracted from something more productive. Usually when our mind is racing from oversaturated content, listening to mediation music, turning off all electronics and lying down helps to recenter my mind, like a mental reset.

2. Set Clear and Purposeful Goals

Most people struggle with setting goals because their goals aren’t specific enough. According to Dr. Edwin Locke’s Goal Setting Theory, clear, specific, and challenging goals are more motivating and lead to higher performance (Locke & Latham, 2002). If your goals are vague or uninspiring, it’s easy to get distracted or give up on them.

How to Do It:
Write down your goals and break them down. For example, instead of saying, “I want to get fit,” set a goal like, “I will exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week.” Make sure your goals are aligned with your values and passions. When a goal has meaning, you’re more likely to stay motivated.

How it’s helped me
I ask myself, “What did you want to do as a child, a teen, and now?” This question helped me to rediscover interests and ideas I’ve forgotten about. I sat down and opened my notebook to write down all the things I may still be interested in, and made it a goal. The meaning of these goals can be to bring peace, make money, or just a personal want. What’s important is that the goal has a purpose in improving your life.

3. Use the Power of Habit Formation

A study by Dr. Wendy Wood shows that habits are powerful drivers of behavior. Once a habit is formed, it becomes automatic and requires less mental effort (Wood & Runger, 2016). To refocus on your goals, build habits that support them. This eliminates the need for constant decision-making, reducing mental fatigue and distractions.

How to Do It:
Start small by introducing one new habit at a time. If you want to write more, make it a habit to write for 10 minutes each morning. Over time, this small action will become part of your routine and will help you make consistent progress without needing to rely on motivation alone.

How it’s helped me
One piece of advice that shifted my mindset was, “Do the hard part.” I knew many people stay stuck because they avoid the hard work necessary for progress. For me, the hardest part is always starting. I’m momentum-driven, so if I can just begin, the momentum takes over.

For instance, I used to avoid writing because I thought I needed hours of free time. But when I committed to just 10 minutes every morning, it became a habit. Over time, that small act built momentum, and writing no longer felt like a chore. The key was starting and letting the momentum carry me forward. Not only that, writing about things I like talking about helped continue the habit. It’s this simple shift that has allowed me to build lasting habits and make consistent progress toward my goals.

4. Create a Distraction-Free Environment

Your environment plays a significant role in your ability to focus. Research by Dr. Gloria Mark suggests that even brief distractions can significantly reduce productivity (Mark et al., 2008). To refocus on your goals, it’s essential to create a workspace that minimizes distractions and promotes deep work.

How to Do It:
Turn off unnecessary notifications on your phone and computer. Create a designated work area free from distractions like TV or clutter. Try using apps to help block out digital distractions and maintain your focus on the task at hand.

How it’s helped me
When I first started to refocus on my goals, I didn’t realize how much my environment had an impact on my productivity. A cluttered room and constant notifications stopped me from getting deep focus time. So, I made a plan to change that.

I threw away things that no longer sparked joy, bought speakers to create a sonic atmosphere, and place my phone on focus mode. These simple things created a world of difference and allowed me to get more done than I would’ve before. Another option is to replace distracting content with good content. Watching videos and shows about content that can help you improve a skill and become better will help you change your mental environment.

5. Engage in Reflective Journaling

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for reconnecting with your inner desires and uncovering what truly motivates you. Research by Dr. James Pennebaker suggests that expressive writing helps individuals process their emotions, clarify their thoughts, and gain insights into their personal goals (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986).

How to Do It:
Set aside time each week to write about your goals, challenges, and dreams. Reflect on what you truly want in life and why those goals matter to you. This practice can help you gain clarity and strengthen your commitment to your long-term vision.

How it’s helped me
I have several pages in Notion dedicated to things I want to do, have done, and need to improve on. I like to revisit goals i’ve achieved and listed to get a feel for where I need to be in life. Journaling my progress helped to remind me of where I am and how to press forward with my goals.

6. Leverage the Power of Social Support

Having a support system is key for staying on track with your goals. According to research by Li Ruihua, people who share their goals with others are more likely to achieve them, as social support provides accountability and encouragement (Ruiha, 2025).

How to Do It:
Find a friend, family member, or mentor who shares your values and can help keep you accountable. Regular check-ins or goal-setting sessions can keep you motivated and focused on your long-term objectives. You can even post your goals on social media. Doing this will keep you accountable to achieving what you’ve set out to do.

How it’s helped me
I have gotten involved with groups on social media with like minded people who have their own goals. We share ideas and perspectives, which helps us to elevate each other.

7. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and patience. We don’t need a study to understand how important this is. When you’re kind to yourself, you’re more likely to persevere through setbacks and stay focused on your goals.

How to Do It:
Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes or delays, give yourself grace. When you fall off track, treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. Encourage yourself to get back on track and keep going. Every day is another chance to make that goal happen.

How it’s helped me
I realized that I couldn’t change what was already done, and dwelling on the past is like chasing the wind. I practice optimism by saying “A lot can change in a year.” This truth helps me to remember that where I am is not where I will always be as long as I give my best effort. Just trying is a sign of compassion and grace.

Refocusing is key to success

Refocusing on your goals and living a fulfilling life requires effort, but it’s doable when you align your actions with your deepest values. By reducing distractions, creating meaningful goals, and building positive habits, you can begin to unlock your full potential and live a more intentional life.

Incorporating these strategies into your daily routine will help you overcome the noise of modern life and create a future that you’ll be content with. You’re not just a passive consumer of content, you are the creator of your own story. Take control, and start living a life that makes you feel better than what you see on screen.

When I was a kid, getting picked last for sports at recess stung. You stand there watching others get called one by one until it’s just you and some other kid no one wanted on their team either. It’s hard not to internalize it. “I’m not good enough.” “Nobody wants me.” Classic feelings of rejection.

But looking back, I don’t think it was always personal.

Sometimes you get picked last because nobody has seen you play yet. Other times, it’s because you’re not very good at a certain sport. As a kid, getting picked last usually came down to two things: either no one knew you, or you just weren’t good.

I was picked last a few times for both reasons. I wasn’t good at basketball, so people didn’t pick me because they wanted to win — make sense. My friends of course still picked me because we were friends. But in football, everyone wanted me on their team because I was fast and agile.

In a lot of areas in life, like jobs and other opportunities, we think we’re being rejected because of who we are. But more often than not, we’re being passed over because we haven’t shown what we can do yet.

Think of being picked last not as a rejection, but an invitation.

You might get picked last the first time. But if you play hard, stay sharp, show up with skill and presence — people will notice. They pick you next time based on how well you played. Sometimes you have to prove why you should get picked, especially if no one knows you yet.

Because it means you have the power to set the tone for the outcome you want to have, and that’s the first step to being seen.

Ever since I was a teen myself, there have been young people who dismiss the 9–5 lifestyle. You see it all over social media today. People generalizing jobs, flaunting entrepreneurship, or simply casting the corporate world as a cage to break free from. It’s easy to get caught up in this narrative if everyone around you seems to be chasing their dream.

The truth? There’s nothing inherently wrong with a 9–5 job, and there’s a lot to be said for finding meaning and fulfillment in it.

At the heart of the matter is finding a path that brings our life meaning. Some of us choose to follow the traditional path of being an employee, others look to start their own businesses. No one path is better than another. We’re each responsible for carving out a life that fits our values, skills, and aspirations. A 9–5 isn’t a bad thing. It’s the stories we tell ourselves about it that can be.

Self-awareness plays a huge role in how we navigate our career path. It’s easy to follow the crowd and assume that success looks one way because that’s on our social media feed. Real fulfillment comes when we take the time to reflect on what we truly want. Do you want a job that provides stability and a clear career ladder? Do you crave creative freedom and autonomy? Or maybe you want to work for a cause you believe in, regardless of the paycheck. A job doesn’t have to define your entire identity. It can just be one part of the puzzle that fits into a larger, more holistic life.

A lot of talk around rejecting the 9–5 comes from people in entry-level roles. These are the ones working at call centers, Amazon warehouses, fast food restaurants, etc. Because they are frustrated with low pay, they miss the nuance. Those with actual work skills in established careers understand the value of a 9–5. They’ve seen the stability, the growth opportunities, the networking, and the sense of accomplishment that come with landing the career they want. They may want something more fulfilling, but they know that their time in a structured job has given them experience and skills they couldn’t have gained elsewhere.

For some of us, self-employment is the right fit. As a creative, it works for me — not just for the freedom, but for selfish reasons too. When I put in the work, I want to see the results directly benefit me. Late nights spent hitting deadlines or pushing through overtime aren’t something I do for a paycheck. They’re investments I’m making in myself. If I don’t show up, I don’t eat. I love that responsibility. There’s a level of autonomy that I’ve found in freelancing that simply wouldn’t be possible in a 9–5. Things like traveling, networking, and being able to do things without having to ask permission.

The truth is, most people don’t want to be entrepreneurs. They want the lifestyle, but not the grind. They don’t want to face the realities of working for themselves: the constant hustle, the need for self-discipline, the isolation. Most of the same people who are online complaining about their 9–5 or claiming they want to break free can’t even manage the basics in their personal lives. They skip making their bed in the morning and lack the communication skills needed to navigate professional relationships. There’s a reason for the divide between those who work for their dreams and those who expect things to simply “manifest” for them.

Not everyone wants to be their own boss. If you talk to enough people, you’ll realize how many are actually content with a job that pays for the life they want. The generous PTO, great benefits, and reliable pay are more than enough for them to feel secure and fulfilled. I have friends with office jobs who live great lives — they travel, spend time with family, and have the freedom to do what they want. Even better, some of them are in careers they dreamed about since they were kids. For them, that 9–5 is a tool to fund a fulfilling, balanced life without round the clock responsibility. Once they clock out, they leave work behind. Most people find that enjoyable.

The bottom line is that success in any path, whether you’re working a 9–5 or hustling as your own boss, requires more than wishful thinking. It requires self-awareness, hard work, and the ability to align your values with the work you do. No one else is going to hand you your dream job. It’s up to you to define what success looks like — and to put in the effort to make it happen. Instead of complaining about where you are, think of the skills you can learn in your role that can translate into the career you aspire to have.

At the end of the day, the pressure to follow someone else’s definition of success can be overwhelming. We live in an era where everyone’s highlight reel is on display for the world to see. But purpose doesn’t come from fitting into a mold. It comes from knowing who you are, what drives you, and what makes you feel fulfilled.

So, when it comes to work, whether it’s a 9–5 job, running your own business, or pursuing a completely different path, the only thing that matters is that it aligns with what you truly want. Take the time to understand yourself. Find the balance that works for you. Because the way we approach our work is the way we approach life. The goal isn’t to escape the system, it’s to create one that suits you.

Building a relationship with yourself isn’t complicated. It’s not about constantly feeling good or chasing an idealized version of “self-love.” Instead, it’s about being consistent in the small things. The little acts of care and attention you give to yourself over time will compound into something bigger.

It’s not about changing everything at once. It’s about getting into the right habits.

Here are five ways to start.

1. Listen to Your Body

Your body is always giving you signals. It’s telling you when you need rest, when you need movement, and when you need nourishment. But too often, we ignore it.

Start listening. Ask yourself, “What does my body need today?” It’s simple but powerful. Hydrate more, stretch, get some fresh air, or rest when you’re tired.

The goal isn’t to push your body to extremes or ignore its signals. It’s to treat it with respect. By listening to it, you build a deeper connection with yourself.

2. Spend Time in Nature

Nature doesn’t need to be dramatic. You don’t need to go on a week-long hiking trip. You just need to get outside for a few minutes every day.

Whether it’s walking in the park or just sitting under a tree, nature is grounding. It reminds you of the simplicity and calm you need to stay focused.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, step outside. Get some sunlight, breathe fresh air, and reset your mind. It’s a simple way to reconnect with yourself.

3. Acknowledge Your Negative Emotions

We live in a world that tells us to “always stay positive.” But pushing negative emotions away doesn’t help. In fact, it makes them worse.

Instead of suppressing them, get curious. When you feel anger, sadness, or frustration, ask yourself, “What’s the root of this feeling?”

Negative emotions aren’t your enemy. They’re feedback. They show you what’s out of alignment in your life. So, instead of fighting them, try to understand them. The more you do, the less power they have over you.

4. Be Creative, Even if It’s Just for Fun

You don’t need to be a painter or a writer to be creative. Creativity is simply the act of expression. It could be cooking, sketching, writing, or even rearranging your living space.

Start small. Don’t worry about the outcome. Just express yourself. Creativity is a way of connecting with your inner world. It’s a process, not a product.

When you engage in something creative, you reconnect with your true self. It doesn’t matter if you’re good at it. What matters is that you’re doing it.

5. Find Peace in Stillness

We’re constantly busy. Our minds are always on the go with distractions and schedules. But the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. And that can only happen in stillness.

It doesn’t require hours of meditation. Just a few minutes of quiet can make a big difference. Find a time each day to sit in silence. Focus on your breathing or simply observe your thoughts without judgment.

The more you practice stillness, the clearer you’ll become about what you truly want and need.

It’s About Consistency, Not Perfection

Self-love doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about the small things you do every day. It’s about how you treat yourself when no one’s looking.

You don’t need to love every part of yourself right now. That’s not the point. The point is to start building a solid foundation with yourself. Start small, stay consistent, and over time, you’ll see the shift.

If you show up for yourself each day — even in small ways — you’ll build the relationship you’ve always wanted with yourself.

In late 2023, I bought my second car. It was a pretty exciting day. After I left the lot, I figured I’d stop by the supermarket across the street to grab some cash from the ATM. When I walked in, I saw a sign that said, “$5 Sushi Wednesdays.” I love sushi, so I didn’t buy any that day, but I thought to myself, “I’ll check if my local store has the same deal when I get home.” Turns out, they did.

At first, it was just a thing I did on Wednesdays. A quick stop for sushi, nothing special. But after a few weeks, I started a friendship with the sushi guy. The usual head nod, then small talk like what sushi he’d recommend and if it was busy. Before I knew it, I made a new friend.

He wasn’t just some guy behind the counter anymore. He became part of my week. I’d miss a Wednesday here and there, and sometimes he’d ask where I’d been. “On vacation,” I’d say. Or, “Just busy, but I’m back now.” It wasn’t just about the sushi anymore. It was about seeing a friend and getting a few minutes to catch up. A nice weekly meetup.

He was a short Japanese guy who always made my sushi fresh. I never ate the stuff that had been sitting there for hours. Over time, I started to wonder how long it would last. What if I moved away? Would he still be here? I figured I’d always try to stop by, even if I had to make a trip to see him.

But then, life threw me a curveball.

I got into a car accident and was gone for five weeks. When I finally came back, the store felt… different. The vibe had shifted. The familiar faces were gone. New employees were around. How did all of this happen in a months time? I still knew it was Wednesday, so I headed straight to the sushi counter, expecting to see my friend and pick up where we left off.

I walked up, looking for his familiar hat. I did see a hat, but the guy behind the counter was taller. I got closer and realized it wasn’t him. I checked behind the counter to see if maybe he was training someone. He wasn’t there.

I felt kind of bummed because he wasn’t the type to miss a day. Even on other days, he’d be there. I didn’t feel like getting sushi anymore. So I finished my grocery run and went home.

The next week, I told myself, “If he’s not here today, it’s the end of sushi Wednesdays” This was the last ride. I still held out a tiny bit of hope, though, but deep down, I knew he was gone. And sure enough, when I walked in, it was the same new guy. I decided to get sushi anyway. I went for the California roll — but I also grabbed a veggie roll, because that’s the one my friend would always make fresh.

The new guy was making sushi. It was this vibe of a guy just trying to do his job — which I respect 100%. I was looking at sushi and was in his way, so I gave a quick “hey” with a nod. He did the same, but he just wanted to put sushi on the counter. That’s when it really hit me.

By the time I finished shopping, I realized this was it. Sushi Wednesdays were over. I had always imagined that if he left, we’d say goodbye, exchange a few words, and I’d move on. But there was no closure. No, “see you later.”

Just a new guy who replaced my friend. That’s business.

When I got home, I ate that dry sushi that even soy sauce couldn’t make better. Nowhere near as good as what my friend used to make. Normally, I’d save some for the next day, but this time, I couldn’t. I ate both rolls in one sitting. Just to get it over with.

All good things must come to an end, right? People in our lives are either here for a long time or for a season. You don’t know the impact it has on you until it’s over, especially something like a weekly sushi trip.

Wherever my friend is, I hope he’s doing well. I’ll always think of him when I eat sushi. I’m grateful for the sushi, the friendship, and the small moments that made Sushi Wednesdays that much better.

Thanks, friend.