As I grow older, I find myself thinking less about the things I have owned and more about the moments I have lived, the people I have loved, and the memories that have stayed with me. It took me decades to realize that not everyone whom I cared about cared about me. I do not wish this regret upon anyone. I have always said that I am a slow learner, so I guess it’s better that I learned late than never

I want to share something I have learned, not because I believe I have all the answers, but because life has taught me many lessons that I hope may spare you some regrets

Be careful of the endless pursuit of possessions. As long as you have shelter, enough food to fill your belly, and peace of mind, you are the wealthiest person on earth. Don’t pursue whatever possessions others may have, you will only ever possess what was ordained for YOU

The world will constantly tell you that happiness is one purchase away. A bigger house, a newer car, the latest gadget, more clothes, more decorations, more things. Yet the strange truth is that the more we accumulate, the more we often feel burdened by what we own. We spend our lives earning money to buy things, then spend our time maintaining, storing, insuring, cleaning, and worrying about them. You may have noticed that I have begun having regular clear-outs, not going to car-boot sales anymore, the reason for this is because I do not want to burden you with the added pressure of emptying my ‘stuff’ after I’ve passed. I will have already gotten rid of most of it myself

Possessions promise satisfaction but rarely deliver lasting contentment. My daughters, my granddaughters, don’t allow the multi-million beauty industry to prey on your insecurities, accept yourselves as you are, because this is where real beauty begins. A £1 tub of face cream will do exactly what a £50 tub in fancy packaging claims to do: moisturize. Nothing can smooth wrinkles or lift sagging like good nutrition. Beauty begins inside of you, not in fancy packages or wild claims

My sons, my grandsons, a £5K vehicle, well maintained, does exactly what a £50K vehicle does: takes you from A to B. My advice to you is: don’t waste money buying cars and things to impress others; this is indeed the pinnacle of insecurity. If you must spend, then invest in property that will bring you dividends well into your old age

What brings true happiness is simple: good health, meaningful relationships, laughter around a table, a peaceful night’s sleep, a clear conscience, and the knowledge that you are loved and that you have loved others well. The family is sacred. Do not lose each other; stay close

Count your blessings often.

There are people with greater wealth than you who are deeply unhappy, and people with very little who are rich in gratitude and joy. Happiness is rarely determined by what we possess and far more by how we appreciate what we already have.

Guard your time carefully.

Money lost can sometimes be earned again. Time cannot. Do not waste years chasing things that will eventually gather dust. Spend time with your family. Visit your friends. Take the trip. Read the book. Learn the skill. Watch the sunset. Have the conversation. Life moves far more quickly than you imagine. Remember that the son of Adam will never stop wanting until he/she is in the grave

Be wise with your money.

Spend it on experiences, on learning, on helping others, on creating memories. Avoid the trap of buying things simply because others have them. Comparison is a thief that steals both contentment and common sense. Be mindful of giving away so much that you leave yourselves empty, whether that is money, emotions, or energy

One day, much of what you own will belong to someone else or end up discarded. What will remain are the lives you touched, the kindness you showed, and the memories you created.

I hope you will build lives that are rich, but rich in the things that truly matter: love, integrity, generosity, gratitude, wisdom, and purpose.

If there is one wish I have for you, it is this: may you never confuse having more with being happier. There are people who never stop saving, accumulating, until they are struck a blow by their failing health. Such people may then regret not having accumulated more because accumulation becomes their identity, and they don’t know life outside of that circle. Remember, never waste your life making a living that you actually forget to simply LIVE

You already have far more than you realize.

With all my love,

Mama xxxx

A letter to my children…. was originally published in Writers Ocean on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.