I am making September my own self declared writing month where I write something in my ‘journal’ style every day. Welcome to day 1!

I have about 15 mins for this as I do want to exercise before I start working. These days my sister & I are trying to live a healthier life. She wants to implement way too many things and it gets annoying most times but its also helpful. Aren’t most things like that?

There is too much noise in the house. This activity should really happen in the morning without the noise and without other people’s thoughts. Preferably, when I wake up and when I am the most aware of myself / least aware of my self. That brought a smile to face knowing that it’s so true —

When I am the least aware of my physical self, is when I am the most “me”.

- When I wake up and am in a state of semi-sleepiness, when I still remember the scenes from my dreams, the people from the scenes, and sometimes even the feelings — that’s when I am the most myself. Everything after coming to consciousness is an alloy of my surrounding — and their needs, responsibilities, and emotions. My actions and feelings change with the demands of the day rather than a purpose or calling, a concept I still like to believe in.

- When I meditate, I take my attention to wherever the voice dictates. I can only do that if I surrender myself to the voice completely. The days I do surrender, it almost feels like I am completely in that one point when I am focusing. If I am focusing on my breath, I am my breath. If I am focusing on where the pain is in my body, I somehow become that pain. And with the next exhale when I let go, that pain relaxes a bit.

- When I am the state of flow, I can engage in an activity for hours without comfort, food, and even water. My physical needs are at their minimum. They don’t come in the way. I feel accomplished when I go to bed that night knowing I created something.

Is that why practicing your skill often triggers muscle memory development? So, the physicality of self doesn’t get in the way of us being more?

Thank you for reading this series of September thoughts. Let me know what you liked here!

Oscillating between strangers and lovers
in his mind but she
was just being kind.

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Hope was originally published in Literally Literary on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

My vibe
Your vibe
They collide
Ignite
Bright
Subside
Or glide.

For daily content, follow me on Instagram.

Patterns was originally published in Literally Literary on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I want to break things
to let this out
to show you and shout
But you left
without noticing
my simmering self.

My Simmering Self was originally published in Scribe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I loved
I left
You loved
You stayed
The love was different
So were the ends.

Same but Different was originally published in Scribe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

You are giving it for a reason.

My sister called me a few days back to talk about her career choices. She is currently pursuing an MBA degree in HR, and with the market being slow — desirable jobs are tough. I told her that she needed to stick it out because this phase, right after a degree, is the best time to make a radical switch in your career.

It will be far easier now that a year or two later when you have taken up something in a different field. She came to me for advice because I have been doing “well” in my career and I couldn’t help but think that I didn’t do this when I was hunting for jobs. Heck, I can’t even do it now! I don’t dare to bet on my dreams.

But I had no problem telling my sister, with conviction, that she needs to figure out what she wants, work towards it and resist the temptation to accept just about anything. Why don’t we take our own advice?

We fear failure

This is not news, obviously! We are wired to survive which makes us risk-averse. But we fear failure so much that applying our advice on our problems sometimes doesn’t even occur to us. Our conscious self is unable to listen to our minds. Only if we let an idea percolate from our subconscious to conscious, we can assess it for what it is and take more calculated risks.

We expect us to fail more than others

“Yes, she can do it. She is strong and extremely smart. I don’t know about myself.” Or “I can’t take this up right now with so much happening already, but you should give it a shot. You have been to juggle between jobs before as well!” — have you heard yourself saying things like this? I know I have said these things to my friends. For some reason, I trust in them more than I trust in myself.

You have accomplished many important things up until this point. Why are you discounting any of that now? Just because someone’s struggles are not seen doesn’t mean they didn’t have a tough time. They did too. Your chances of success or failure are statistically the same as theirs. We tend to forget this in the face of failure. If you think they can do it, so can you!

It comes down to taking chances

We have to live our life, whatever happens, so we assume the worst and keep on living a mediocre life. Since we are not liable for someone else’s life, we can see the best-case scenario for them with little fear. This is so counterproductive! Only if we were able to see out best-case scenarios just as easily as someone else’s…

I want to leave you with this quote:

“You are only one decision away from a totally different life”

Use your confidence and faith to take a chance on yourself!

Take your own advice was originally published in Live Your Life On Purpose on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

What is this feeling?
Why do I feel like crying?
Nothing really happened
Is it because nothing really happened?

He told me about his friends
his travels and conversations
and I just sat here on the other end
Wondering how will I begin, again.

I was happy before he called
or at least felt peace in my heart
look at me now, with goosebumps
not of excitement but feeling so far.

Who decides that it would be easy
to connect with someone unknown
and start a life with this stranger,
and who decides how scary
it could be to trace back the journey
you once started together.

Distance was originally published in Scribe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

She works day and night

cooking, caring and creating

but is unemployed.

Who am I?

I am a woman living in a city with her small-town dreams

Who am I?

I am a daughter, sister and wife who doesn’t meet any of their needs

Who am I?

I am a child who needs love

But knows not to show

I am wise beyond my years

And I continue to grow

Who am I?

I am the morning that greets you

And the night that leaves you awake

I am the song that reminds you of him

And the silence which makes him break

Who am I?

I am the anxiety in this dark

Which consumes you blind

I am the pressure this world puts

To worry your soul to grind

I am the restlessness in a crowd

Which you can’t explain

I am the lies you told your love

Leaving them with disdain

I am the step you take today

Even when you are scared

I am the courage you build

To destroy all that you shared

I am all of this

They are all mine

Some days I let them win

The others they let me shine

Who am I? was originally published in Scribe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Why do some days feel empty

And some fulfilled

What’s the difference,

Do you know?

Why do some people feel alive

And some defeated

What got them there,

Will they ever show?

Some mornings are sunny and breezy

But something feels amiss

And some are rainy and cold

But feel like bliss

What makes a day a good day,

Someone tell me, I want to know.