Me: Hey T, suppose you had a huge plate of delicious food in front of you and you saw another seven year old with no food at all — would you give him some of yours?

T: No.

Me: (trying not to sound disappointed and angry) Oh, why not?

T: Oh, my saliva would have touched it already.

Me: (feeling a touch of embarrassment for judging him so quickly) So if you didn’t touch it yet, you would give it to him?

T: Of course!

Me: Okay. So if you had a lot of toys, like, a gazillion. Would you give them to another seven year old who doesn’t have any?

T: (dryly) Yes, Aunty Beks.

Me: How many would you give? 10?

T: Yes ok. *pauses to think* Actually, no.

Me: Hmm okay, more? 20?

T: No. *still thinking hard*

Me: 30? Lesser? 8? 9?

T: (suddenly looks very pleased with himself) 5! I will give him 5 toys.

Me: (grumbling to self) Oh, why only 5?

T: ‘cos he cannot carry more, Aunty Beks.

Me: *crawls into a hole*

T: 1, Aunty Beks: 0.

I learn the best lessons from these kids.

T, ever so practical but considerate, B, his heart the size of an ocean, C and his never-ending but endearing mischief and J with his coos and caws. All of them with a whole lot of mucus.

I must have done something right in my last lives to be given such wonderful gifts in this one.

I’m tired. I’m also down with stomach flu. This means 4–5 days of nausea, diarrhoea, headaches and chills at night, making precious sleep difficult. I can’t eat anything without wanting to hurl and water is my best friend. I’ve also been pushing myself on full day schedules for the past week, having to take 15-min naps in the car to feel better. Is this ideal? No. I love my work, don’t get me wrong, but I think I need to listen to my body when it’s saying, dude, you need to rest.

My heart is also in a mess. And maybe this isn’t easy to admit, but it’s true. And it’s okay. Letting go is always an easier concept than it is to execute in real life. And I’m slowly dealing. So yes, this week I’m not okay. I’m not at my best. But I know I’ll get better. And a little self-love won’t hurt. Even if this means you end up disappointing others. Put on a silly movie, make yourself a milkshake, read a book, listen to some really good music, rest and remember that time is a healer of all things.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to not be okay.

My life two years ago was a very different one — I was always anxious, constantly rushing and feeling deadlines loom with every chime. Chime? Yes, I was notifications queen — I had notifications for my emails (all 6 of them), Facebook, Instagram, even Words with Friends for crying out loud. It fed me for awhile, being busy, feeling busy, being constantly hounded by the need to check my phone and be completely switched on. I would wake up 2–3 times a night to scroll through my notifications to see if there was anything urgent I needed to attend to. This is my attempt to understand why.

1. (Fear of missing out) FOMO — I didn’t want to miss out on birthdays, meetings, emails, calls — I didn’t want to be the last one to know.
2. My personal life was in limbo — the need to be constantly busy or interrupted with notifications flashing on and off screen kept my mind away from things that I really should have given a lot more thought to.
3. I was an unexpected and unknown (to myself) micro-manager. Me two years ago would have liked to believe that I was all spontaneous and go-with-the-flow. Hell no.

So to end this rather abruptly because it’s waaaay past my bedtime, I decided, 2 years ago, to switch off all notifications save for one app (not telling you which one) so that my loved ones still contact me should the world be ending. And it’s been one of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made. I check my email when I want to, I don’t live for social media updates to validate myself (oh I was an insecure bun) and I reply as and when I see the need to, and not because I feel like I have to.

Go ahead, try it out — you’ll feel anxious and 100% unpopular and uncool initially but I guarantee you that in the long run, you’ll feel 100% calmer, and better.

Nothing against donkeys of course.

I first met Tom in June 2015, when I had the great fortune to share about my work at The Social Co. at the Nexus Global Summit in New York. Aside from being completely dizzy with fear (I’m a nervous and obviously jittery speaker), I found myself sat one morning in Tom’s workshop on rapid prototyping. I was jet-lagged and a little overwhelmed… so suffice to say, I took maybe 20% of what was done during the workshop home with me.

I met Tom again in March this year, and fortunately, he was conducting a similar workshop for the Nexus Asia Summit. This time round, I was ready with a notebook and pen, and most importantly, an open mind, ready to learn. These were the takeaways that resonated the most with me so here goes:

1. Doing is the best kind of thinking: Get off your ass, try it out, fail if you must, and all those lessons and parts that worked will follow you.
2. Failure is an attitude, not a decision: Your expectations can sometimes be the hardest to live up to. You get to decide what to do with an action or result that did not meet your expectations.
3. The optimum time for brainstorming is 2 minutes: The first minute is for your best ideas, the next is for you to shit out subpar ideas and to sieve through the mess and any longer, you’ll grow attached to just one idea.
4. There aren’t good or bad ideas, just crazy and boring ones: Even then, everything in between has a higher chance of working. The moment you decide an idea is good or bad, you’re subjecting it to subjectivity.

Thank you Tom, these lessons may have emboldened me in some way, but I’m all the better for it.

Like I found out today that Tan Tock Seng Hospital is Singapore’s oldest hospital (EST. 25th July 1844, beat that) — a really tiny detail that doesn’t make a difference to my life except for another little-known BUT related fact that I was the first baby to be born in the maternity ward at NUH!

Now that’s something. ;)