Unbeknownst to her, what she said became the very thing I needed to hear and hold on to.

On a gloomy yet somewhat sunny and warm Wednesday in New York City, during my lunch break, I hopped onto a call with my mother.

We spoke on and on, sharing little updates about everyday life, while occasionally catching glimpses of my well reserved father in the background.

As we were talking, I was walking near the UN park overlooking the East River. At some point during our conversation — while my mother was going on about building contractors back home — I found myself completely distracted by a duck floating in the water.

I kept watching the movement of the water and wondering whether the duck would be affected by what looked, to me, like strong waves. But instead, the duck simply adjusted itself and moved along with the water so effortlessly.

And suddenly it dawned on me: the duck was probably already accustomed to these waters.

Fair enough, it is not even technically a river, but a tidal strait — constantly shifting with currents and tides. Yet somehow, the duck had adjusted to the ebbs and flows of the East River.

The past few weeks at work had left me feeling slightly out of place. Reflecting on my five years of living and working in New York, I could not help but think about the challenges I have encountered — and still encounter — in my 30s as what most people would call an immigrant living in the United States of America.

For some reason, I felt like that duck. Living in an unfamiliar place while trying to grasp and navigate the everyday challenges life throws at me.

And it was from that point that I realized I probably needed to become more resilient to whatever comes my way.

Still, during my conversation with my mother, I found myself wondering: where does one even get that kind of strength from? The strength to continue doing things that are unfamiliar to you.

Then my mother shifted the conversation and started telling me about a community gathering at what we call the Kgotla in Botswana. She spoke about what had been discussed there and how she encouraged my father — who rarely speaks up, but always has profound things to say — to contribute.

She told me that while the councillor of their ward was speaking, my father slightly raised his hand. But my mother? She raised hers high up.

I laughed to myself because I knew very well that she was capable of doing exactly that. Her whole life, she has always been outspoken — especially in situations where she needed to take up space.

And right there, in that very ordinary conversation, was my answer to everything that had been eating me up these past few weeks.

Where would I get the courage and strength to overcome the challenges I face here in New York?

The answer was simple.

I was raised by a leader.

A courageous woman who, not once in her life, has backed down or made herself smaller for the comfort of others.

And at that moment, I also realized the different traits I inherited from both my parents. My father’s quietness. My mother’s boldness.

Perhaps the lesson is not to let one dominate the other, but to allow both to coexist within me.

Women are truly leaders in their own right.

And there is truth in the saying that behind every successful man is a woman.

An appreciation post to my mother.

Happy Mother’s Day.

At the crack of morning, I hear the shuffles of the traditional broom around the yard

in the midst of noises, from the roosters’ crow to your voice in distress

expressing your frustration of two young girls still sleeping at the crack of dawn

One pretends to sleep, but wakes eventually

The other gets up and goes to prepare your tea and soft porridge.

Meticulous in preparation according to your taste buds,

She knew your way to your heart.

You sipping and drinking your tea in delight, resting outside, mimicking as you share your stories with us.

Laughter fills up the air.

I remember you.

Continue resting our Angel 😇

As the world celebrates International Day of the Girl Child today, I am reminded of the role a grandmother plays in the lives of girls.

From the time I was a young girl to now as a young woman leader, I can’t help but think of the influence my late grandmother, Mmê Gobopaone Manenye, had on me.

Her wisdom and teachings, sense of humor in storytelling, tenacity and entrepreneurial mindset, creative candor and style, and warmth and love for the community have made our lives as women — my mother, aunts, and cousins — so special.

My grandmother lived up to her name. Gobopaone is loosely translated as “the maker.” Her name comes from the Setswana verb “go bopa,” which means “to build.” The teachings she taught and the warmth she showed have been passed down from generation to generation. In her eulogy, my cousin described our grandmother as kind and compassionate, accepting everyone into her arms without judgment.

In everything we did, she instilled the spirit of diligent work, can-do energy, and respect for others. Among her most notable qualities was her ability to motivate and encourage her grandchildren. My grandmother was proud of our accomplishments and always praised her children for imparting their knowledge to us. She chanted powerful words of praise as she listened to me speak at the United Nations General Assembly Hall. As part of her message, she expressed her gratitude for the dedication to education that both of my parents had shown.

“Keep rising, my girl,” were her constant words of encouragement.

To honor my grandmother and her legacy of selfless love and boldness, I introduce the #Speak4Change accelerator speaker programme aimed at marginalized girls who wish to become community leaders and changemakers. Taking inspiration from Elizabeth Nyamayoro’s memoir “I am a girl from Africa,” Elizabeth talks about how her grandmother guided her life, and how she promises to carry her wisdom forward. Further she asks, “How else can I create more impact for other women and girls across Africa and globally?”

#Speak4Change is an accelerator speaker programme that I am building to empower marginalized girls in Botswana and beyond with the understanding to exercise their agency. As a result, they will be able to participate in all aspects of social, economic, political, and cultural leadership as effectively and equally as boys. Initially, the mandate will be communicated through a biweekly LinkedIn newsletter.

MAY HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL REST IN PEACE.

Love from your grandchild,

Bongi.

As I was making my way to work today, I thought this to myself as I gazed at the mouth of the Lincoln Tunnel.

I’ve been using this route for close to 6 months since I moved here, but I observed it intently today.

At that moment, I was present and could see the hard work done by those in the 1930s. I began to wonder how it all began. After we made our way into the tunnel, I watched old videos of its construction.

Several of the discoveries I made from it put me in a reflective mood. It then occurred to me that I had been using this route for a very long time without appreciating these moments.

For those who don’t know about it, the Lincoln Tunnel connects New Jersey to the west with Midtown Manhattan in NYC. A total of 15 workers died during the construction of the first two tunnels. It is named after Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States.

After that, I changed my mode of transportation and went by subway, as always. I experienced the same thing, as I kept the momentum of staying present. During my journey, I stood right by the first cart, had the front view similar to the train driver/engineer, and watched as the train travelled from station to station until it reached my destination.

It may seem like nothing, but it isn’t. The tunnel was created as an idea. If you’re from a country that has yet to experience these changes, you ponder.

This made me think of how often we think of the destination without considering the intricacies, the beauty of observing one point from another, learning the history of the beginning of something.

Also, earlier today, as I travelled to my workplace’s origin place, I had a personal reflection. In my visit there, which by the way was not to learn the history of the place, I was led to understand “where it all began,” and I experienced that “aha” moment I had during my commute on the subway and via the bus by the Lincoln tunnel.

My mind then drifted back to a quote I read earlier from a LinkedIn connection:

I’m grateful for this moment right now because it’s not every day that you can fully be present in your surroundings, particularly when you live in such a busy and bustling place like this.

Perspective! Perspective!Perspective!

Stay present at all times. This is my message for today.

Bless.

Here is a picture of two young girls who were probably running up and down in the yard before being bombarded with: “Let me take your picture.” This was definitely a trial and error photo, I mean, look at the terrible lighting and overexposure. Nonetheless, it captured the essence of being an energetic, playful girl child.

Look at the way my cousin posed for that camera, she had dimples at this age (not sure if I can say that in her big age).

I can also tell from my round silhouette-like cheeks that it was an in-the moment picture. I can also bet that we were both ready to go outside, wrestle each other, and then she [my cousin] starts to cry.

I can also tell you, just from looking at that picture that in between this quick photo session, 9 out of 10 we were scolded as to why our legs were all dusty and crusty.

African streets.

It was really a hot day and I was outside barefoot, no matter how many times I felt the heat from my tiny feet, I still wanted to play outside.

So care-free; the spirit of a girl child at a young age.

Ready to get on my marks, set and running…that was me in this picture. As I write this, I can’t stop thinking of my niece, and the similarities; so playful and energetic.

Two decades later, in my late-20s, I’m here typing this piece in a quiet library late at night. I recall my childhood memories, playing and running around the street and yard, falling down countless times, being scolded at- the tales of a playful girl child.

Disclaimer: Bits and parts of this article were written at different intervals.

Now in 2022

I keep thinking of how I’ve grown, professionally, mentally, and spiritually. Oh, the latter is my favorite.

I am still growing into my ideal version of a woman who embraces her femininity wholeheartedly, caring and loving, and ready to take even more bolder leaps towards her bright future.

The process of becoming takes time. There is no quick fix. The analogy of life as a rollercoaster is true, and we must embrace the swings and directions it takes.

Sometimes we tend to get consumed by what life throws at us, and it can be overwhelming. It can get too hot for us to *play and freely express ourselves. You may want to hide behind your shadow in most cases because you can’t bear the heat.

In any case, I guess what I am saying is:

Through it all, always tap into that young care-free spirit. Try not to be hard on yourself and take it easy.

This takes me back to one encounter I once had on one cold Sunday morning [Dec.2019] in Beijing with a 50 year old African American woman. Our brief interaction began when she saw me walk in that McDonald restaurant to grab my breakfast before I headed to work.

She greeted me with a warm smile, waving her hand with great enthusiasm. You’d assume we knew each other, but that was just a common scenario with meeting black people in places in China where not so many of us [black] frequented.

As I smiled and waved back, I went over to her table as she offered me a seat to sit. After the brief introduction I went over to order and returned to her. And the conversation began shortly…

During our exchange, I listened as she narrated about her years back as a millennial woman and how she wished she could’ve done things differently. As she spoke I asked her if I could jot down some of the gems she was sharing with me on my phone. After I’d shared with her my dreams and aspirations, she then asked if I ever thought of getting a mentor. At that time, I almost asked her to be my mentor.

She finally shared her word of advice with me and said:

Be bold. Tell them about yourself. If they don’t agree, then they’re not the right ones for you. Knock on those even at the top, the well accomplished.

I knocked on several doors. One opened in September 2020, but I’d always felt the need and urge to profusely knock on the other doors. Quite determined and all. I was however grateful for that opportunity for it presented challenges that did help me grow personally and professionally.

A year and few months later…

A door opens. A major one. An opportunity to meet and work alongside one of the most well accomplished, bold and selfless woman of all times, Dr. Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, Former Deputy President of South Africa (2005–2008).

Ma’ Phumzile, who just ended her 8 year tenure with UN Women as Executive Director with the rank of Under-Secretary-General of the United Nations offered me a seat in the Executive Director’s Office as a Young Women Leader at UN Women based in Headquarters in New York city.

And the boldness continues…

The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of UN Women, the United Nations or any of its affiliated organizations.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Comcast? Well, let me tell you my story.

The mention of Comcast always takes me back to this day when I attended the 10th anniversary of the Global Tsinghua forum. On this day, Brian Roberts, the son of Ralph Roberts, founder of the second-largest broadcasting and cable television company in the world by revenue, Comcast Corporation attended this forum in which he engaged in a quite informative dialogue.

I was in attendance as part of my coursework and wrote an article about the forum which follows below.

At times, family businesses fail to become a success because either children aren’t willing to take over or business gets thrown down the gauntlet. However, for young Brian Roberts, although he was very fond of numbers, emulating his father growing up and aspiring to work with him was number one. When Ralph Roberts founded his company, Comcast, in his forties back in 1963, he was seemingly paving way for his son, Brian Roberts who is now CEO and Chairman of Comcast NBCUniversal.

“His dream was to pass the business on,” adds Brian Roberts at the 10th anniversary of the Global Tsinghua forum.

At four years old Roberts only wanted to do one thing with his life which was to work for his father.

“The fantasy versus the reality may have been different but when I went to work for him it was a wonderful experience all these years,” said Roberts.

Straight after graduating from Harvard in 1991, Brian Roberts joined his father in building one of the largest broadcasting and cable television company in the world by revenue, Comcast. He moved to four different cities over several years, Michigan, New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania in various operating jobs and learned and got an understanding of what made Comcast different than IBM or General Motors.

His father wanted him to learn how to do every job beyond the finance field that included understanding customer service and learning how computers work. Through managerial positions he got placed within the company, Brian Roberts got to make decisions at a young age but he also learned the value of not being carried away by that sense of authority.

“What my father gave me the opportunity to bear in mind is the need to have a culture that connects people to make decisions and not have a company where every decision is made by one person,” said Roberts.

Not only that but Ralph Roberts was the kind of boss whom people gravitated towards to, giving reassurance to his employees as well as creating many opportunities for them, in turn making the company better. Allowing one to take credit for a great work done was one telling management technique that Brian and his father employed which Brian believes has helped them in recruiting some of the best executives in business to work and stay in Comcast. This he believes has made employees feel like they’re the boss of their area.

From its humble beginnings, Comcast served as the only operating cable television company in America.

“For the first twenty years, there was no competition and what we were doing was inventing a new category. There was no cable television and all these entrepreneurs built the industry,” said Roberts.

A few years later in 1995, they started a technology lab and in 1997, Microsoft’s Bill Gates paid the largest investment they ever made at that time as a minority investor by putting one billion dollars in Comcast.

“We’ve always had a sense of we’re not a small company and that we were trying to become a larger company,” said Roberts.

Taking risks, one acquisition at a time with the sense of optimism, conservatism blend together somehow with skepticism and paranoia are some of the ingredients that helped grow Comcast. Despite his worrisome sense of paranoia, Brian Roberts admired his father’s optimism which he believes made Comcast what it is today.

“If you’re in the technology business, a healthy sense of paranoia I think it’s credible,” said Brian Roberts.

Today Comcast NBCUniversal attracts 25 million internet and 22 million television customers. From the olden days when his father was running a community antenna, Comcast has evolved and shifted from an antenna business to a television and internet business. The company is uniquely positioned at the intersection of media and technology with two primary businesses; Comcast and NBCUniversal. Its television business booms through NBCUniversal which features various shows such as the recent number one American drama “THIS IS US” and among the popular talk shows “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.”

“We thrived because we have been willing to reinvent ourselves constantly with that sense of purgatorial,” said Brian Roberts.

Affection is priceless. This kind of endless endearment that I have witnessed on a daily with Chinese grandparents to their grandchildren is immeasurable. My wandering mind at times gaze at the thought of the repercussions of China’s One-Child policy.

What I learned about traveling in my early 20's

I remember my first time crossing the border between South Africa and Botswana. I was first in line. As we were being prepared to cross over, I distinctly remember a question that was echoed by one of the elderly ladies to us, “ If it’s your first time crossing over, raise your hand.” You bet right I did not. It was going to be embarrassing, I thought to myself. Being in a class of my peers who had lived in the U.S was enough to expose myself as a first-timer traveling outside the country. By that time, I was completing my Standard 7 at Letlhabile Primary School. For our last school trip, we were taken to Magaliesburg. That’s how far I had been to South Africa since.

Beginning of my 20’s

Years later the depth of travel to South Africa intensified when my sister won tickets to Rihanna’s Diamonds World Tour in Johannesburg and she took me along with. Oh! the perks of being the youngest and having awesome sisters. The trip marked my first sojourn in Johannesburg and during that time [ 2013] it was a thrilling and exciting experience. At that time my sister had lived and studied abroad in Malaysia hence her calm demeanor. She was accustomed to life overseas. Her euphoria was more diverted to seeing Rihanna perform live.

What went through my mind during the trip?

A lot. What made the trip even more interesting was that we travelled by a mini bus with a few of the winners and organizers. There were familiar faces from the lot which made it a more joyful ride. It took us about 7 hours or so to reach our destination. Throughout the trip I would casually glance over the window and revel in the beautiful landscapes within certain parts of South Africa. The scenery would gradually change though, from beautiful landmarks to dire community settlements that had me wondering. To me, this was a way of observing life from afar, away from the normalcy I’m accustomed to back home in Botswana.

There was life out there indeed, despite it being hard or good, it seemed that there were boundless opportunities in the city of Gold, Jozi.

I still remember the beautiful view from our City Lodge Hotel room, that piercing Summer breeze as you walk through the hustle and bustle of Joburg streets, one or two beggars with placards by the traffic lights. It felt good being in a different place and witnessing the daily life in our neighboring country.

Traveling on a budget…becoming a cheapskate 101

As the years went by towards my last year at varsity during my undergraduate, I became familiar with traveling to Johannesburg with my friends. We would plan our trips whenever we received our monthly stipend. From an outsider’s perspective, our trips looked flamboyant but in actual reality we made the most with the little money we had. In most of our trips we nestled our way to a certain part of Rosebank, which was quiet during day time and noisy at night. We became familiar faces at Rosebank Backpackers and we would all share one room.

What I later learned about Rosebank during the numerous trips was that the surrounding areas nearby were media related firms which some of my friends and I were pursuing. Day time was sometimes dedicated to familiarizing ourselves with the media firms around there. The likes of Mail and Guardian South Africa, Kaya FM were in our proximity. Such instilled hope in me that I can take myself wherever I want to. Not only that, it builds character in terms of relating to other people. We were exposed to aesthetic cultural outdoor events such as Neighborgood markets in the heart of Braamfontein which made me appreciate the creative scene more.

Your mindset really determines your outlook in life. Allowing yourself to be exposed to areas outside your comfort zone will make you view things in a different light. During my trips to Johannesburg although most were primarily driven by the desire to enjoy the night scene, in most cases it changed my way of thinking. It changed how I viewed my capabilities. Not only that, it made me become confident in being in a different country and going for what I truly want and knowing what is out there for me.

In 2017 prior to my first international trip to China, as I was surfing the net, I came across a posting from the International Center for Journalists (ICFJ) website about a China-Africa seminar that would be held in Johannesburg at the University of Witwatersrand. The seminar was open to all. I asked a few friends of mine in the media industry to accompany me but upon hearing that it was a self-financed trip a few couldn’t make it. During that time, I did freelance work and we all know the downside of late payments with freelance work. My parents assisted me in what was a budget of around P2000.

I remember thinking to myself, if I can pack my bags to Joburg for the night scene, why not this one-day seminar. That’s when it dawned on me about the power of traveling, being familiar with the surroundings and having the courage to pack it up and go. That’s what I did, with a friend of course. I attended this seminar during a crucial time in politics and governance between China and Botswana. It was also a crucial period for me as I had applied for my scholarship to study in China and awaiting my fate. I had RSVP’d for the event and that day at the seminar when I went over to the woman whom I spoke to via email that I had arrived she was shocked and chanted, “Oh you made it,” with a pleased smile.

Till this day I’m glad that I took the initiative not to miss that conference as because of it I networked with several journalists from Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, Sudan, Namibia, just to mention a few. During the seminar we got into groups and got the opportunity to learn about China’s influence in their respective countries. Being the only young fresh media student from Botswana at the seminar, I got the chance to inform them about the current China-Botswana relations during that time. I met several scholars who introduced me to interesting literary works by African authors. It was worth the risk.

A few months later after getting my scholarship, studying at one of the top schools in mainland China, I remember during my presentation with my classmate about CCTV’s reach in Africa we discussed a lot concerning media representation. Most of what I shared during the presentation were the notes I had taken down from this particular seminar.

There’s more to traveling and it doesn’t matter if the country is 7 hours away by bus or not. Lessons, experiences are always a glance away. At the end of the day, you’ve moved from one country to another that you’re unfamiliar with and that’s an opportunity to learn something new.

Travel with intent. Be open minded when doing so. You will learn one or two things as you go.

telling the story of Africa through his own pen and paper…

Appalled at what I read immediately when I typed on the Google search bar, my favorite piece by him “ How to write about Africa.”

Binyavanga Wainaina has been reported late as seen by these headlines and what a loss I must say. He is or rather was one of the African “granules”, a word I like to use to describe African authors who have trembled those rigid walls that have long managed to “ tell our African story” their [ Western world ] own way.

Although it is quite sad, I am grateful to have known of this man’s literary works that have pushed our African narrative forward. I believe we need such African gems that we can always reference to.

I learned about Wainaina in the year 2017 when I attended a conference about China-Africa relations in South Africa at the University of Witwatersrand. From that conference, I networked with several journalists, academics, scholars from different fields and different nationalities- from Kenya, Nigeria, Morocco and South Africa.

Job Mwaura, a Kenyan academic scholar later introduced me to Wainaina’s piece called, “ How to Write about Africa.” This satirical piece is the reason why I am fond of this man’s work which led to me including it in my presentation in my first year as a graduate student here in Tsinghua University during my Mass Communication class. Through this piece, I got to relay my message of how representation affects everyone and how it has distorted the perceptions of millions of people across the world regarding Africa.

As we approach Africa day, in his memory, I plan to write a feature on several works by him and also share it on this platform as well as at an Africa day event I will be attending.

Rest in Eternal Peace, Binyavanga Wainaina.