Disclaimer: This is not an article for debating the righteousness and equality of genders and social status, just my BS on my recent thoughts and experience. (in these days and times, political correctness is outweighing all other things…no offense…I mean…urghhh)

So…you are still reading? I guess you somehow have that similar experience. The story begins when I was browsing LinkedIn seeking the next great job for my poor and little self…and I saw that my ex pops up in front of my face with her (overly photoshopped icon picture…don't call me incel please…I am only expressing my thoughts), at that moment, all the dusted and locked-up memories flashback in that millisecond.

And then guess what? I definitely clicked in and read line by line trying to get updates from her, hey, no judgment okay? Then I realize she is doing pretty well after our breakup (how silly that I let her go…no I do not really that regret it…explain later), laddering in bank position and getting higher and higher income. Looking back in my dark and empty screen, I am still in a mess and trying to leap to another job meanwhile save enough money trying to fulfill my master plan (which if you have interest in, please follow and I will mention in the future stories).

The feeling of bitterness and sourness goes up my throat, and it is so hard to convince myself that I am indifferent to what I saw. Seeing what she achieved, of course, I feel happy for her, but more on that, I felt like I am a total loser just left my previous job and still struggling to find another job in the tech field. It is the abyss of my career life currently, I am so frustrated that even not have the guts to send out resumes and try to apply for jobs. I know that I am a kind of coward…anyway…everyone has their downtime right? not feeling motivated to do a single thing…ranging from throwing trash to getting back up to fight your way up the ladder.

After making a bunch of excuses and being a couch potato, I started to jot down the feeling of that moment, how I felt and what am I planning to do in this article.

A. I know that I should feel happy for her success

B. I know that I am not in a good shape or golden moment in my career

C. I am fkin g loss in my own career path…

D. I am not planning on being a green-eyed person on other success, that is not helpful in my development at all.

E. Tho, I am still miserable, I am in a no-future-relationship now and not having a job, feeling I am not gonna succeed my plan…

If you are reading till now, I am really thankful for you to read all my BS, love you, my reader. Please do not think that I am a crazy person, having random hatred towards friends, this article is my thoughts and feelings over this topic and feeling actually inspired and motivated after this pain.

Sometimes, all you need is a little push, from looking at what other is doing, I know that one should focus on their path and road, everyone is having their own schedule in life…blah blah blah… yeah I know! But let’s think again, what is the last time you felt inspired? watching TikTok? Watch @garyvee motivational video? I think most of them are just a few seconds of sparks and upbeat feelings, what actually moves you is that what you actually care of at least felt so at some point. The feeling of not accepting the current situation and wanting to improve will feel like an unscratchable itch in your heart, do you really accept the current situation and status? do you have the ability to do better? All the ex things are the last straw that forces you to look back on your status, DO YOU FEEL ENOUGH NOW? ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH THIS? ARE YOU TRIED YOUR BEST TO STRIVE NOW?