1. Grades matter

Grades seem like an obvious bullet point but sometimes it’s hard to take grades seriously when there are a thousand other things to pay attention to girls, boys, fashion, sports. As important as grades are, they pass by the wayside when there are better things to do. On the other hand, a balance must be kept. If grades are the only things that matter, other important aspects of life are neglected as well. The consequences of bad grades can be more than you would expect. First, some job applications, especially straight after college, will ask for your GPA. If you decide now or later that you want to continue your education, you might not get admitted. On top of that, if you decide to retake classes, some schools average your grades even if you’ve retaken a class. In that case, it’s almost better you never took the class at all because you can never get an A in it after getting a D, even if you retake it. To redo your degree completely, you’d have to retake all your classes at a much higher cost. I don’t mean to freak you out, but I wish I had worked a little harder to keep my grades up.

2. You don’t have to have a degree to be successful

There are plenty of smart people, entrepreneurs, people who forced their foot through doors they didn’t belong in, who were successful. Do a quick search on the internet and you’ll find plenty of examples. It isn’t easy but it can be done. No one will tell you this but sometimes getting a degree can close doors as well as open them. If you get the wrong degree, getting another degree is more expensive. If you don’t get the grades you need, retaking classes is pricey and, despite your best efforts, your original grade could affect the new grade (as I mentioned before). If you apply for jobs after graduating with your degree and those jobs don’t require your specific degree, some employers will think you’re undecided on your career or that you’re overqualified. They might not want to pay you what you should be worth or will wonder why you aren’t applying for the jobs you should be applying for. There are also trade schools you can apply for. If they are available, a trade school education will be more specific to the career you’ve chosen. They are also typically cheaper. Some people do trade schools in addition to degrees. It all depends on what you want to do. Here’s one reference for trade schools. You can find more online by searching on Google for trade schools in your area. I got a degree in Exercise and Wellness and never used it. I couldn’t find a job with it. I finally abandoned it and learned to program using tutorials online. Now I make a lot more money than I would have with my degree. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get a degree. Some careers don’t require degrees and some careers do. Don’t decide on a degree. Decide on a career and research the degree best suited for that career. If your career choice values experience over studies, you’re wasting your time and money by going to college. And, in the end, you’ll still be missing the experience you need.

3. Don’t get a general degree

Sorry to those of you who have a general degree. I made the same mistake. General degrees are almost worthless if you don’t get a Masters that makes use of it. My college advisor mentioned this to me and I didn’t take her seriously. I wish colleges would get rid of general degrees altogether. There is rarely a good reason to get a general degree. Either get a degree you enjoy (even if it’s general) or get a degree that will hold its own. Specialized degrees can get you into a Master’s program too and will look much more impressive on applications as well as on your resume. It might take more effort, depending on the degree, but it’ll be worth it, I promise you. Get a degree that will get you a job whether you continue your education or not.

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In elementary school, my teacher took a class poll. She asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. I told her without hesitation that I wanted to be a mom. She laughed at me.

I went to college and got a degree. I told myself that when I was done, I was done. I would work for a few years, get married, have kids, and keep my degree as a backup in case the unthinkable happened, which, of course, wouldn’t happen. Not to me.

I got married. I got divorced. My debt piled up and I had to use my degree for more than just padding. My life had not gone as I so naively expected. My expectations had to change. So did my outlook. I had to climb out of a hole.

That was seven years ago.

Four years ago, I sat on a toilet while another woman breast pumped across the restroom. There were no mothers’ rooms. The slurping shee chew shee chew disgusted me. I promised myself that I would never do that. No matter what formula would cost me, I would make enough to buy it.

I heard terrible tales of kids looked after by someone other than parents. People talked of astronomical daycare costs, of children rebelling because they did not get the attention they needed and deserved. Regardless of expense, I knew I could never leave my child with a stranger. Nor would I allow my child to consider that stranger their caretaker.

And yet…

Despite all that I promised myself, I drop my son off every morning for someone else to take care of. I pay the colossal daycare fees. My son looks to many different women as caretakers, including myself. Just last week, I went to a recruiting event and there were no mothers’ rooms. I plugged my pump into the wall and sat on the disgusting bathroom floor for everyone to listen to and judge. I have also only bought one case of formula during the first eight months of my son’s life.

Here I am, a working mom.

I have nothing against stay-at-home moms. In fact, I have a new appreciation for all moms everywhere, especially my own mom who stayed at home. This new slew of mommy experiences has tried me in ways nothing else has. Especially juggling a full-time job, zero sleep, and a baby who needs me in sickness and in health.

With the new member of my family, my attitude again had to change. I realized I wouldn’t be able to stay at home, though that had been my expectation since I saw my own mother stay at home as a child. I worked hard. If I had to support, I gave it my best effort. I clawed my way up a ladder I didn’t expect to have to climb.

The women I work with have confessed fears of not doing enough. They struggle to find the time they need to do everything they expect of themselves. I am no exception. I’m torn between my job, my aspirations, and my family every day. I have to find a balance.

A part of me wishes I had more time with my son. A part of me is glad to have a career, to have a support group at work and young girls who look to me as an example. Strangely enough, though motherhood was not at all what I expected, I’ve found being a mom and being successful at my job has brought me a level of confidence and happiness I didn’t know I lacked.

I don’t regret how hard I’ve worked. I support my family. I have enabled us to buy a house and my husband to find a career he’s passionate about. My situation may change — and I hope it will. However, I will always have the experiences I have gained, the knowledge, and the comfort to know that should my life take an unexpected turn, I have the tools to keep my family upright.

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BrookeClonts