I always found an exit to the confined emotions I’ve witnessed. Most of the time It was through a sacrifice.

Reinventing Yourself might be the best solution to all your problems if you have any. As in for me, it was, and still is, the best thing I decide to endure.

When you can’t move forward in life, and decide what is that you want, or the reason why, 90% of it is because you still live on the past.

Snap out from the past, old habits, and old lifestyle, even to the things that caused you pain, move the fuck on!

Until I finally got my Epiphany and decided to reinvent myself and take action. What does the word reinvent means to you? To me, it means change. Now I want others to reinvent themselves as well.

Here are few steps you can follow to help you reinvent:

1.Have the vision

You got to see it first with a clear eye view, go to sleep dreaming about it, wake up dreaming about it.

Everyday stay focus on your goals and the reason why you decided to make changes in your life.

Use the past only as the source and as a guideline to keep moving forward. Having a vision of the things you want keeps you on track.

2.You can always draw it out, even write them down

Write down the place you dream of living in, what car you will be driving, how will your house look like? What new skills will you develop?.

Look at them every morning, before you go to bed, when you come home from work, always look at it as a reminder.

Place it on your wall, on your fridge, make sure it’s everywhere.

This will help you keep the things you are going for keep you from laziness, stress, even the old you can stop you from the new you. Don’t let old habits come back around.

One thing I do is write my goals and motivation quotes on a clipboard, which is placed in my kitchen, as a daily reminder.

3.Now work yourself to your vision of your future

Ask yourself, what is it that you need now to get there?. What you need to do, every day, to create that vision? Meet new people? Look for a new job? Move to a new city? Whatever the case may be, make it specific.

You can make a list of all the things you need to do, and every day make time for it, stay committed to them and keep repeating the procedure.

4.Go back to that vision every day for encouragement

Reinvention is neither a walk on the park nor a swim across the ocean. We often resist to the things life brings.

Most of us do not want to let go, let go of things that causes us pain, things that were holding us down, we hold on to things that are obviously out of our grasp.

Anytime you find yourself slacking, isolating yourself, procrastinating on an important task that needs to be done, don’t beat yourself up or get down about it.

Just ask yourself what can you do to get back on track and move forward?

Forget how you’re feeling in the moment, do something, even if is a small thing, find the courage inside you to continue, never give up on yourself.

Originally published at www.blodaily.com on May 15, 2015.

Losing a loved one is never easy or pleasant. It is by far one of the most painful feeling you can possibly endure. It lasts a lifetime, it's just like a tattoo, it can not be removed or can be undone, you must carry on with it until your last breath on this earth.

You never really think about it as you go about your daily routines and busy lifestyles. It’s not like you wake up every morning with the thought that today you may get a phone call with bad news, or log on facebook and see posts of a loved one or someone you know saying “R.I.P.”

Once that happens, I will assure you that your life will forever be different after the experience, your outlook on life will be distinct. It hits everyone differently, some people rely on drinking their emotions, doing other illegal drugs to cope with their pain. Others take another route, they appreciate life more and the people close to them and even become a better person.

Depending on how that person passed away you react to their death differently. If they died of a natural cause, then it’s better accepted, if they got murdered then most likely you will have resentment and anger in your heart.

Either way their death will still hurt you and will make an impact in your life, regardless how they died. Sometimes you sit there on a trance just wondering how life would be if they were still alive?

Their memories will haunt you forever, some days more than others, but nothing like when their birthdays come, or when holidays or their death anniversary arrives.

Some days you wish you can pick up the phone and call them like you once were able to. Other days you go and look at pictures just to reminisce and just to refresh how their face looks on your brain.

I never entirely knew the real reason on how my brother died. I was only 20 years old, still on my party phase, always smoking pot and drinking. My family received different stories of what happened, but nothing certain of how he died.

It affected us all, as to me, I was mentally fucked and became very angry and resented everything after that.

I became a heavy drinker and smoker, spent less time at my home, had trust issues among my own friends and the people I surrounded myself with.

The fact there were different stories being told of what could have been the reason how he died, made me not trust any human walking on this earth. I slowly started not to want to even speak about him when people would ask “how he died and what happened to him?” I would actually get mad and annoyed. It took me years to actually accept the unfortunate, mysterious death of my brother.

Now and then a few thoughts and questions come to my head about my dead brother. Here’s a few examples:

1.Will I ever find out how he really died?

2. Will his kids grow up to be rebels and fuck ups?

3. I wonder how his life would have been right now?

4. Hope the person who killed him is suffering right now.

5. I would like to know who did it.

6. Was he in trouble?

7. Who was around him at the scene of his death?

8. Hope they all living a shitty life right about now.

9. I wish I could have saved him.

10. I wonder what accomplishments he would have got done in life.

11. Am I going to feel this way 20 years from now?

12.How do my parents feel about it all?

13.Hope his kids grow up to be successful.

14. Did his wife had anything to do with his death?

15. Is she keeping secrets from everyone?

16. Did my brother have beef with anyone on the streets?

17. Did he get set up by his own friends?

18. Or by his own wife?

Funerals are interesting, everyone who knew you and had a part in your life shows up to pay their respect. It’s the last time you get to see your loved one, even though they are placed inside a coffin.

The one time besides “weddings” that the whole family gets together to mourn the death of a loved one. Talk’s about the good times and the things they “wished” they would have said or done. You get to see a different side of every single person in your family.

You see sadness, you see anger, you see confusion, you see… destruction. But in the middle of all the chaos, you see the love people have for you after your death.You see the unity during a loss.

One thing I was able to see and notice was the braveness on myself and my family. We lost a special person in our life and we all accepted it, endured the pain and moved on. It’s not that we forgot about the tragedy, is that there was nothing we were able to do.

All you can do is carry on and always remember your lost ones and cherish the moments shared and always keep in mind that life is short. You only have one life, live it well with great people, create memories and always be prepared for the worst. Death can surprise any of us at any given moment.

Family is everything, keep them close to your hearts. If you can relate to the loss of a loved one, then keep in mind that they are never truly lost. They will always live inside you, in your mind, inside the depths of your heart, until the end of times.

Originally published at www.blodaily.com on May 17, 2015.

If you had the choice to date a woman with a child or a woman without a child, which would you choose?

Many guys nowadays contemplate on whether they should date a female with a kid or not. Today you’ll get my perspective of what I think is most ideal, with the hopes of enlightening some of you fellas out there.

Here are 5 reasons why dating a single mother is better than dating a single woman without kids:

1. She’s truly impressive

When you date a single mom, you get a first-hand look at the struggles she faces and can’t imagine how she ever did it alone.

It makes you really appreciate the willpower it takes to get up in the morning and you’ll respect her for that.

Raising a kid on your own isn’t an easy task folks — especially in Buffalo.

If she has no vehicle, no extra support, and still manages to support herself and her kid(s)…. She’s the real MVP. There’s no doubt that single mothers deserve a lot of credit.

2. She’s every mans ideal wife

They cook! They are natural caregivers. They have that instictive motherly sense, and lets be honest — we’re all momma’s boys.

Women who are single are used to just taking care of themselves, and based on my experience, they can’t even prepare a tv dinner. We’ve all heard the saying “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.

Dating a milf who can get down in the kitchen is definitely a no brainer.

3. She’s focused

We all get tired of the club/party life eventually and sometimes we just want to relax, save money and stay out of trouble.

When you date a single mom, she had to give up that life already.

4. She’s resourceful

She knows alternative ways to have fun and probably cheaper ways too!

It’s more than likely she’ll have her own apartment since she does have a child.

So you won’t have to worry about where you should go to spend quality time together. She’ll already have some good ideas.

5. Her values are solid

Single moms are usually more appreciative and take life more seriously. They develop a more mature philosophy and outlook on life that can have a positive effect in your relationship.

For instance, single moms don’t follow the “Yolo” way of thinking when making important decisions because they are responsible for another life — not just their own.

Her values are solid because she’s more focused on having a loving family and stable living.

6. Her priorities are straight

You don’t necessarily have to worry too much about what she does with her spare time. Her time is valuable because she’s splitting it between being a mother, working, and you.

There’s a very slim chance that she would even have time to cheat and it wouldn’t be a good look for her to do so. Just know if she’s not texting you back, it’s because she’s probably making dinner, changing a diaper and vacuuming at the same time

Single mother’s are strong, self empowered, fighters. They know what they want.

When she’s dating you, she’s analyzing your potential as a man, father figure, and role model. She shouldn’t have to hesitate to tell you that she has a kid because she’s afraid you might reject her. She shouldn’t have to feel inferior because she has a child. However, when she does tell you, you have to decide if that’s a responsibility your willing to take on.

Although she may not ask you to do much for her child at first, once you’ve spent enough time with her and her child(ren) it’ll start to feel like a family — and you will have to contribute.

If you’re just in it for a hook up, find someone else. She literally doesn’t have time for that, and it will hurt both her and her kid, so don’t be a dick.