Time.

We often claim we don’t have enough of it, yet it always seems to be there when we need it most. The following is a quote Dr. King wrote in a letter while sitting in a jail cell in Birmingham, Alabama in 1963 that has really struck a cord with me today:

“Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”

Obviously, this was during a time when Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat weren’t available to distract him from doing the work, but it was during a time when there were people and systems that wanted to restrict him from speaking peacefully and organizing diligently to bring forth justice for black people living in America.

Even though he was often talked about, lied on, harassed, arrested, and had his life and the life of his family threatened, he still made the time to change the world with the resources, skills and gifts that he had. As he sat in jail cells in the south, he used his words to provide hope, conviction and to challenge Americans to question the injustice and inequality that was placed upon people of color.

So why do we consistently complain about not having time to do the things that are necessary to help push our dreams forward?

“Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will.”

Call me naive, but I like to believe that we all have a hefty ounce of good will within us. We all want to see our ideas come to life, collaborate with fellow creatives, and build meaningful things that will establish the legacy we want to leave behind one day. However, we must be committed to using our 24 hours effectively and efficiently if we really want to be the change we wish to see.

For the first days of this new year, these are just a few of the ways that I’ve chosen to use my time creatively:

• Waking up early each morning for meditation, prayer and journal time before going to work.
• Reading books not only for my enjoyment, but ones that will open new windows to my creativity. Peep my list of 20 I think you should read in 2017 here.
• Having conversations with friends and loved ones that are uplifting, lighthearted and positively challenging.
• Following up and following through on things that I said I was going to do.
• Putting myself on for opportunities that may not yield fruit immediately, but will in the weeks and months to come.
• Extending grace and patience to myself when I may not meet my goals.
• Trusting my progress, the process and that greater things that I probably can’t even fathom right now are on their way.

This week, ask yourself: am I using my time in the most constructive way? How can I use my resources not only to help myself, but also to help others?

Let us all be inspired by Dr. King’s relentlessness to create change regardless of his circumstances, and think about how we can intentionally MAKE time to do those things that bring us joy, push forward positive action and allow for our God-given creativity to shine.

Thank you, Dr. King.

Like many of you, I am completely at a loss for words right now. The last 24 hours have been stress and anxiety filled, and now we face a day that is completely and utterly sad.

I feel helpless. Hopeless. Numb. Mad as f*ck. And incredibly heartbroken.

I went to bed last night with a glimpse of hope that we were on the brink of electing the first woman president of the United States, but woke up at 3 AM to see the shocking reality of the complete opposite. Up and down my Twitter timeline was incredible disbelief, confusion and the repeated questions, “How in the hell did we get here?” and “Where do we go from here?”

I won’t lie and say that I’m okay, because I’m not. I’m a young black woman living in a country that just elected a man who believes it’s alright to make fun of those who are disabled, openly disrespect women and believes that people of different races and cultures have the ability to go on violent rampages as rapists. And this isn’t a post to give y’all ‘political’ down of how we got here because, that just ain’t my ministry — I’m simply just stating facts.

Y’all, there’s a HELL OF A LOT at stake that impacts a HELL OF A LOT of people and right now, no one has the answers. Not even Sway.

But what I can say is that I’m not going to allow this spirit of chaos, confusion and uncertainty stop me from moving toward my greatness— and neither should any of you.

The very last thing we need to do right now is succumb to living in fear.

Particularly to my fellow millennials, women and people of color: at this very moment, we have to keep hustling harder, working smarter and fighting for our dreams. Yes, right now is scary AF, but we have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep the faith and not allow for the current f*ckery in our midst to stop us from flourishing. Our parents and grandparents have unfortunately seen and experienced much worse, but we must be inspired by their unwavering will to press forward.

“Excellence is required now. Make your plan and focus up. No more delaying. No more identifying thoughts or ideas that aren’t progressive. If you’ve never believed in yourself, no better time than TODAY.” — Karis Chandler

I know today and the next several days will be hard, but feel what you need to feel. Cry, yell, scream, throw pillows — do what you need to do. Don’t let anyone tell you how you ‘should’ feel in this moment.

Even in the face of defeat, I’m still hopeful that our future is bright and we can be the change we wish to see. I’m still hopeful that even in the face of adversity, we can still create beautiful things, become phenomenal people and make an impact on this nation that we live in. And no politician, bigoted business mogul, or electoral college can take that away from me.

Secretary Hillary Clinton just made the most amazing concession speech that I’ve seen in my lifetime. It was full of grace, inspiration, gratitude, hope and the courage to continue to move forward. She also shared a special gem with the ladies because, the future is still female:

“To the little girls watching, never doubt that you are valuable, powerful and deserving.” — HRC

This will hurt for a while, but in the illustrious words of our Cousin Kenny, “we gon’ be alright.”

Onward and upward, y’all.

Letting go of something that you’ve mentally conceived, given birth to and watched grow is always tough. In my case, Millennial On A Mission came to me one winter’s eve in 2012 while I was sitting in my D.C. apartment scrolling through articles that were bashing my beloved generation left and right.

Lowkey, I was fed up with the media talking smack— but in reality, I really just wanted to showcase the amazing young people I knew personally who were combating these myths of millennials only being narcissistic, entitled, debt-having human beings. I knew that we were much more than that — courageous creators, doers, and thinkers who are changing our local communities one brilliant endeavor at a time.

Looking back, I truly believe I accomplished what I set out to do and then some. To date, I’ve connected with over 100 incredible millennials nationwide, created a monthly Twitter chat (#WhoRunTheWorld) that specifically highlights phenomenal women discussing how they are dominating their fields, and created a platform to freely speak about my strong passion for my peers who have and will continue to change the world.

This post isn’t meant to brag about what I’ve done, or explain why I’ve made this decision — it’s to showcase a true and honest moment of clarity that I know lots of creators experience when they’ve felt like they’ve reached a plateau in their passion project. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and if it has inspired someone to unapologetically find the intersection of their life’s passion and purpose, then I’ve done something right.

Could I have done more with MOAM? Perhaps. Actually, I know I could have. But all of the time spent contemplating the many things I could have done caused me not to do anything at all. While it hurts to admit that, it is also a lesson that I must follow my first mind + trust my gut, always.

“There are things you’ve been hanging on to that really are not useful and deprive you of your freedom. Find the courage to let them go.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Over the last two years, I’ve asked a number of trusted friends what I should do with “Millennial On A Mission.” And while I’ve truly appreciated their feedback, it almost always led me back to the same spot in my own thinking: “So why am I really doing this? Am I intentionally putting for my best effort to continue to bring this dream to life?”

I’ve procrastinated with making this decision for the longest out of fear of what others would think, but I know as soon as I hit publish on this post, I’m going to feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders like never before.

And as I learned this past Sunday during church service, “The greatest moment of clarity you’ll have comes from what you say to yourself.”

I don’t feel like I’m giving up on MOAM, nor do I feel as though I’ve failed myself by taking this indefinite hiatus. I do, however, feel I’m giving myself and this particular idea the opportunity to rest for the time being, and the space to potentially transform into something that will benefit my peers in ways that I probably can’t even imagine.

If you know me personally, then you know that this not the first nor the last endeavor of mine that is related to the bomb ass generation know as millennials. 2017 is about to get ALL OF THIS WORK.

Trusss me daddi.

For these last few months of 2016, my goal is to be still. Appreciate these blessings that have fallen and continue to fall in my lap, reflect on the lessons I’ve learned, and diligently build upon and deposit into the next goals I want to accomplish. In this moment, I trust myself wholeheartedly, and I trust that God will prepare me for the newer, greater and better things that are to come.

To every millennial who has shared their mission with me in the last 3.5 years, I honestly and truly thank you for the bottom of my heart. Your work is forever inspiring, hustle continuously motivating and eagerness to think different gratifying.

This chapter maybe closing but one thing is for certain — I’ll never stop being a Millennial On A Mission.

Today marks the one year anniversary that I’ve been at my current job. For some, reaching that milestone seems like a pretty decent accomplishment. But for me, it’s one that I’m pretty darn proud of, given that four months prior to my hiring date, I was unemployed.

While I was job hunting one night sitting Busboys & Poets, I remember listening to The Eternal Peace LP by Purple Wondaluv (Musiq Soulchild’s alter ego) and being completely captivated by one song in particular, titled ‘Faith Your Fears.’

The last year has been full of numerous teachable moments, but the idea of “Faith Your Fear” as been one that has quietly stuck with me throughout.

We see the phrase all the time — on t-shirts, mugs, Internet memes. It’s our go-to ‘Motivational Monday‘ or ‘Wisdom Wednesday‘ when we need a reminder to persevere, press toward the mark and push a little harder to get the job done. For those of us who grew up in church, Hebrews 11:1 is forever etched on the walls of our hearts. But what does it really mean to take something as “abstract” and “intangible” as faith and use it to defeat the overwhelmingly paralyzing emotion we know as fear?

First, let me give y’all a few definitions to lay the groundwork:

The dictionary defines fear as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Conversely, faith is described as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” Faith is also usually connected to having a strong belief in God or other spiritual practices.

See, both fear and faith require that you exercise how you are going to react to a situation and what you are going to tell yourself during that particular season.

When I was fired from my job last year, I won’t even front — I was scared. I had rent to pay, student loans to manage and other obligations that I need to take care of. But there was also a sense of relief and peace I felt walking away from a job that brought me unhappiness, worry and stress. Even within the uncertainty that loomed in the days and weeks ahead of me, I knew deep that another job opportunity would come my way. I actively chose to believe that something greater was coming. I didn’t know what it was, but I trusted that

In the meantime, I had to do the work, be proactive, and put myself out there as I waited for my next opportunity. This ‘waiting’ came in the form of work: writing (A LOT) for different publications, pitching small businesses and organizations as future clients for social media strategy freelance work, and holding myself accountable for the work that I said I was going to do.

Here’s the 411 — fear is crippling, anxious energy that keeps us stagnant, stuck, angry and weary of the ways of the world (word to Solange.) With faith, you are obligated to DO. Believing in yourself, in God (or your higher power of preference) and in the goodness of the Universe requires you to act and put all cylinders in motion.

A few weeks ago, I experienced a very familiar feeling at work, where I wasn’t performing to the best of my ability and my boss had called me out on it. Uncomfortable and guilty, I immediately started to get down on myself, think of a way out and place the blame on someone else.

But I had to stop myself. After a long and necessary chat with my mom (because, Mama Wideman ALWAYS be knowing) I had to assess the situation, see where my boss was coming from, and take responsibility for the mistakes that I had made and why I didn’t execute in a timely fashion. Doing so allowed for me to create a 30/60/90 Day action plan (which I shared to my manager) in which I acknowledged my short comings, things I needed to change and set goals that I wanted to accomplish within the next three months.

It probably would’ve been easier for me to fold, hold a grudge and chuck up the deuces — but what would I gain from doing that? Sure, people would have their own thoughts about me (which, I couldn’t care less about) but those feelings of defeat and shame probably would’ve rendered their ugly faces at one point and tried to keep me from flourishing. But I didn’t. I had my usual ‘come to Jesus’ moment, put some things on paper and put forth some effort. Holding myself accountable to the job I’ve been called to do required me to trust myself and put faith in the work I’m capable of doing.

Currently, I’m reading the book “Letting Go: The Pathway To Surrender” by Dr. David Hawkins. Throughout the book, Dr, Hawkins highlights a number of feelings that we encounter as we travel this pathway of surrender, but the one that has stuck out to me the most is (you’ve guessed it) fear.

Here’s a passage that I highlighted, underlined and put a star by as it relates to fear:

The more fear we hold, the more fearful situations we attract to our life. Each fear requires additional energy to create a protective device until, finally, all of our energy is drained into our extensive defensive measures. The willingness to look at a fear and work with it until we are free of it brings about immediate rewards.

As I sit typing this post in a coffee shop, just hours ago I felt fear because I wasn’t going to be able to complete it. But within that fearful moment I had to choose: was I was going to let that fright stop me or work though it so that I could make sh*t happen?

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to become the person you know you are destined to be, you have to first believe that it is possible and then, take the necessary steps to ensure that it will come to pass.

The next time a moment of fear is on the horizon, try these three things to put your faith to work:

1. Take a moment and ask yourself, “What is it that’s really making me afraid?” Identifying the problem will help you decide whether to avoid it or work though it.
2. Create measurable and attainable goals, and keep track of them.
3. Remind yourself that you are enough.

Fear is an emotion that is normal for all of us to feel, but it can drain us of the energy we need to do the work. Having just a little bit of faith can change our mindset, help us power though those tough times, and build things that we would have probably never imagined.

Have you experienced a moment recently where you’ve had to ‘Faith Your Fear?’ Send me a note and let’s chat about it.

For as long as I can remember, writing has been my safe haven. Whether it’s typing words within a blank Google doc or keeping it old school with a pen and a piece of paper, the exercise of putting my thoughts into words can be scary as hell, but freeing all at the same time.

2016 has been quite the wild ride for a number of us, and with so much life happening, it can be difficult to find time to quiet your mind and reflect on what’s going on around and within you.

Enter National Novel Writing Month.

Known as #NaNoWriMo to most, this budding community of writers comes together (every November) and challenges itself to complete a writing project within 30 days.

Some people choose to write novels, others bundles of short stories and poetry — but I have decided to blog consistently for the next month.

I’m a procrastinator by nature (it’s like a jungle sometimes) so I’m hopeful that the structure of #NaNoWriMo will help me gather my thought bubbles, put them to paper and then ultimately share them with the universe.

Additionally, I’m using this month-long challenge to help me better manage other projects that I’m working on too.

Maybe these posts I write will turn into a novel, maybe they won’t…but my goal is to execute upon the many, many ideas that I’ve been holding hostage in my brain over the last 12 months.

I will be sure show my work (word to Austin Kleon) both here on my Medium page and my personal blog, chasitycooper.com — because, accountability is important.

Since ‘the world needs my novel,’ I guess I’ve gotta give it to them.

Here goes nothing!

-Chasity

And it’s not just simple “growing pains” to blame for these complexities. There’s actual scientific research that proves our late twenties are meant to be filled with stress and struggle.

Why Your Late Twenties Feel So Stressful

Whether we’d like to admit it or not, doing adult things is not only taxing and annoying, but it can be lonely and perplexing as hell.

This includes the inevitable: paying rent, bills and student loans (Sallie Mae is the worst); making doctor’s appointments and exercising on a regular basis; maintaining ‘that 9-to-5 just to stay alive’ without attempting to kirk out on your co-workers; ensuring that you’ve got at least a week’s worth of food in the fridge so that one-fourth of your check doesn’t only go to wine, Chipotle and happy hour; and remembering to call your parents at least once a week to let them know you’re alive and still kicking.

Now don’t get me wrong — I’m extremely grateful to have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and money in my back account to put on my Metro card. But even with all of these blessings on blessings, I can’t help but think back to when times were a little simpler.

Yes, I am that millennial who likes to reminisce on her days of living in a collegiate bubble with a weekly meal plan, paid housing and free gym access.

You know what they didn’t teach us in school? How inexplicably uncomfortable the process of becoming your own person truly can be. Sure, they (parents, teachers, mentors, etc.) have encouraged us to follow our hearts, dream big and never give up; but they failed to warn us about how complicated it would be to manage that process while becoming better professionals, daughters, sons, siblings, friends, lovers and citizens of the world.

I promise you I’m not bitter — I’m just venting a little bit. So please, bear with me.

I can’t fully place the blame on they because I have to remember: I am not entitled to anything. The world couldn’t give less of a good g*ddamn how much I whine and complain when things don’t go my way. Like everyone else, I still have to work my ass off, get fired from a job or two, experience heartbreak and even lose some friends along the way. All the while, remembering to practice gratitude, patience and self-respect.

Because that my friends is the true art of adulting.

“It builds character,” they say.

“This is just a phase in your journey,” they say.

“You’ll look back and be so proud of how far you’ve come,” they say.

MAJOR KEY ALERT: They are actually right, but those revelations don’t come until after you’ve weathered your storm.

There are also undisclosed emotions that they may neglect to warn you about. You know, the ones that most of us (myself included) tend to shy away from openly discussing for the sake of wanting to look as though we have it all together. And because we’ve grown up in the age of the 140-character status, the 4-second Snapchat and the Instagram photo with unlimited hashtags, evidence of these feelings permeate into the public eye a lot quicker than we’d like to believe.

It is those feelings of stress, anxiety, inadequacy and fear. That looming agitation of how in the hell are you going to turn what you’re really passionate about into dollar signs. The balancing act of relationships with family, friends and the “bae” who could be here today and gone tomorrow. Each of these things can take a blow to the self-esteem and ego, making it all the more difficult to articulate how it is you’re feeling underneath it all.

Recently, it’s been imperative for me to take time to reflect on these moments both quietly and aloud with trusted individuals, even when I find myself in the midst of a complete sh*t show.

While I’m one to sometimes (okay, most times) let my emotions get the best of me, it’s the consistent practice of self-awareness that allows me to remember that these experiences are all apart of a bigger picture.

So here they are: the good, bad and ugly lessons that I’ve learned thus far on this millennial adulting journey.

The Ugly. When you’re really going through it, you may cry in public —and more than once in a week. At the bar into a beer, at the coffee shop into a latte, or in the bathroom stall at work. There will be an internal fight you’ll have with yourself on a daily basis to maintain honesty about how you are really feeling, and not just a cookie-cutter answer to help move the conversation along. There will be sleepless nights, wandering thoughts and self-doubt, but you will have to push past those voices in your head to realize that there is beauty in the affliction.

The Bad. You’ll over-analyze and overthink everything. The inside of your head will become the safe haven you’ll never want to leave. You’ll sometimes expect way too much of others and end up disappointed when they don’t turn out to be who you thought they were. You’ll also expect too much of yourself and attempt to stretch yourself so thin that it will compromise your creativity. You’ll come up with many dope ideas that it may overwhelm you to the point that you lose focus and won’t pursue any of them at all. You’ll sip the imposter syndrome Kool-Aid a few times, and realize that it doesn’t taste like Beyonce or Idris Elba’s bath water. But don’t panic. To quote the great New Orleans philosopher Dwayne Michael Carter, “ I know the process is so much stress — but it’s the progress that feels the best.”

At this point, it would seem like you’re doomed, right? Wrong. Because, it actually does get better.

The Good. After experiencing the stages of bad and ugly, your self-awareness will reach impeccable levels of fleek. You’ll learn to surround yourself with genuinely dope a** people, but ultimately choose the ones to keep around who will always keep it 100 with you. You’ll learn that “No.” is a complete sentence. You will also stop looking for validation from those who you didn’t need it from, embrace your brilliance and celebrate your successes unapologetically. Accepting that ‘the best is yet to come’ will change your perspective, and self-care will be habitual and intentional because… you’re worth it. Speaking things in existence will become second nature. And even though you will have some bad days, practicing gratitude will remind you that you are so much further along than you were the day before, and God has always got your back and your front.

Y’all, adulting is very uncomfortable, and it will continue to be until we reach at least 35 years old. But that doesn’t mean it won’t lead to moments of growth, perseverance and victory. Years from now when we’re sitting in our homes with our arms wrapped around our little ones, or somewhere sailing across the Pacific sipping Dom Perignon, we’ll remember these struggle moments (both good and bad) as benchmarks that stretched us and helped shape our prosperity.

Keep climbing my fellow millennials — the struggle won’t last forever.

We gon’ be alright!