Valentines Day can be a hard one. If you’re in a relationship, it can feel a bit saccharine. A bit too Hallmark-card specific. The rush to get a restaurant booked at your local favourite, along with all the other couples or racking your brain to find something different. Something that will stand out and make your partner feel loved. If you’re single, you may be faced with the ‘meals for one’, or questioning how to ignore all the chocolates, flowers and gifts that suddenly appear in shops — almost shouting at you, ‘You’re single!’

Personally, I like the new traditions I’ve noticed popping up, with groups of friends doing something just for them on Valentines: girls’ nights out, movies in with ice cream and pizza, a boat cruise and party just for them. And for couples, while I do think it’s nice to do something to make the day special together, I also admire the many that forego the obvious and decide to do something completely different but still a chance to enjoy their time together: rock climbing, cave exploring, taking a road trip with no defined destination — just picking a direction and following their hearts. (Or whatever floats their fancy)

But what if you don’t have friends you can spend the day with? What if you are in a relationship, but are going through a hard time and the idea of spending couple time just doesn’t happen? You may feel a bit annoyed, frustrated or perhaps a little bit lost as to how to ignore all the signs in media, stores, on the radio and at the workplace (‘What are you doing for Valentine’s Day???’). It may also bring up deeper issues, such as any difficulties you may be experiencing in your life (self esteem, issues of worth or validation, etc.), work or business, friends or family relationships.

How can you help yourSELF, when the world is reminding you that things are hard? While any advice should be taken with a bit of salt (what floats my boat may not float yours, and vice versa), there are many simple, quick and loving ways that YOU can be the love you’d like to see, have and feel. I’ve listed a few below, and if something grabs you please feel free to give it a try. If something is close but doesn’t feel quite right, please customise it until it feels good for you. Find the best way, for YOU, to follow your heart and your soul!

1. Start your day with a big hug. Yes, give yourself a hug. It’s a beautiful, loving and warm way to start things off and the affection you give your muscles, skin, nerves and cells will also send happy neurotransmitters to your brain and as a result, to your thoughts and emotions. It’s like giving yourself a big ray of sunshine to your heart, while laying on a beach, being given chocolates and your favourite drink by a lovely person named (Johnnie or Daphne, your choice). Not bad, huh?
2. After you’ve relieved yourself of any morning fluids (no, I don’t beat around the bush), before you brush your teeth or anything else, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you. It’s a lot less complicated than my phrasing just made that sound. Look at yourself in the mirror, ignore any ‘I feel silly, I feel dumb’ thoughts without judging yourself for having them, and say, ‘You’re fantastic you know, and I love you, I truly truly do.’ Let yourself think about how those words feel, when you say them and in your body (muscles, skin, nerves, etc.) and focus your mind on repeating them to yourself, 3–5 times. As you repeat them, you might want to also touch your body with your hands, going from feet all the way up to your hair. If you can, say them out loud an extra 3–5 times, as there is a lot of power and healing in the repetition of positive words and positive muscle memory. (Have a look at my earlier post, ‘Love’, for an infographic on how the thoughts/emotions/muscle memory connection works)
3. Think back to what your favourite thing to do was, when you were a child. If there is a way that you can do it today, plan it into your activities and allow yourself that space and that time. Allow yourself that joy. When I was having treatment for PTSD, my doctor suggested I think back to what made me feel good as a little girl: what treats, outings, foods and activities helped me to feel better and what did I get when I’d been good. I began incorporating walks home after each of my sessions with her with a journey through the park. Beautiful, old and glorious trees line the way home in the park, with acres and acres of beautiful, lush, green grass and peaceful spots where I could stop, sit and just BE in the sun and in the gentle breeze. It was luxurious and always made me feel so at peace, comforted and loved. And it was something I could do easily, freely and just for me. (Sometimes I also got a chocolate bar or a juice drink from one of the park cafes)

4. WhatEVER thoughts, feelings, emotions come to you as you show yourself love and give yourself those gifts and treats throughout your day, let them come and do not judge them. If you hear negative or critical self-talk in your mind, just notice it and do not worry or put yourself down or feel ‘less than’ in any way for having them. Just notice them, and then continue to show yourself love, continue to enjoy your favourite activity or treat, and let yourself continue to feel loved.

5. If you feel that you’d like to, perhaps spare a few moments to write in a journal, or type on your computer, draw or dance out any emotions, thoughts or feelings that come to you. Let yourself express, in whatever way is right for you, what comes to your mind when you show and enjoy your love today. Without judgement, critical or negative self-talk, just let whatever comes to you flow. If you are writing or drawing, perhaps get out whatever negative self-talk come to your mind, and again without judgement or worry, just let it come out and then continue to enjoy the activity and ways you feel and show yourself love.

Here’s to YOU, here’s to ME, and here’s to EACH of us…you are worthy and so very, very loved. Truly. I hope you enjoy these tips and if you would like to and feel called, please feel free to look at my website, www.christanorris.com or sign up for my newsletter here. I would love to hear from you and whether these tips help YOU today! (And if you feel extra called, please feel free to follow me on Medium and share this post with your friends!)

All the VERY best to you, always, and just as you are. #shapeourworld #love #BeTheChange

What was your favourite story as a child? What most excited you, entranced you and sent your imagination soaring?

I’ve always loved stories that felt otherworldly. Where the characters go to places magical, fantastical, with adventure and a journey in which they triumph at the end. This journeying, the adventure and seeking new worlds and new experiences…it always felt so exciting to me and made me wish for a life in which I could be an explorer, too. I still feel that way, grown up though I may be to the outside observer. Sure, there are bills to pay, things like flossing our teeth that become a part of our every day life, but that adventure…the seeking of things new and thrilling. That hasn’t changed. Not one bit.

2015 is being referred to by many as the Year of Action.

As in, Taking Action. I can feel it, absolutely, and I imagine you likely can, too. Even if you’re not completely sure why, there is something very different about this year. Fast paced, filled with opportunities and the chance to create in our world whatever we would like.

A part of that comes with also finding ourselves challenged to free ourselves of that which we no longer need, that which no longer serves. Decluttering, spring cleans, and taking steps to bring in healthier ways of living is all a part of the process: in whatever way feels best and most resonates for you. Another part of it is being able to recognise and say Yes to the opportunities the Universe hands us. Whether in work, business or our personal life, every day we are given the chance to rise up. To answer the question our inner selves ask when we find ourselves faced with something new. Are you ready??

I am no different to you, and goodness, yes!, the challenges are making themselves known. Though I know in my heart and soul that the challenges are opportunities for me to grow and further develop my spirit, it doesn’t always make it any easier from the offset to face. Some of these challenges are downright scary, prickly and just completely uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel myself beginning to feel old ways of thinking or behaviours starting to appear. (F.E.A.R, anyone…?) The ability to take a step back, to breathe, to say to those around me that I just need a moment, that I need to let the energy sit with me and process it for a bit…all of that is what helps me. I hope it helps those around me, too! Because I ab-so-lutely know that if I rush it, if I force myself into something that is bringing up resistence within me…well, it can be a sure way to get Crabbie Christa in the room and that’s no fun for anyone. BUT…when I can recognise my resistence, when I can have patience with myself as well as love for others to want to communicate what is going on for me in that moment (even if it’s just to say I don’t know what’s going on, but I need a bit of time) — just that can make all the difference in the world.

There are a few things currently on the Challenge Plate for me, that I know will be OK once I walk through that looking glass, like Alice did in Wonderland. Allowing myself the love and space to take them in the pace that’s right for me is key. Another thing that helps me is to not only voice what’s going on to those around me, but to do something to take care of ME…whether that’s a warm shower, a cup of tea curled up with a blanket, or watching a historical documentary online…whatever it is, making sure I soothe myself and get back on the proverbial yoga mat is part of what my inner self needs so I don’t slip into that familiar phrase, ‘overwhelm’.

And what about you, lovely lovely you?

I am guessing that all of this is sounding familiar to you, too. I know I must not be the only one, and the energy of this year is so strong already. (imagine how the rest of the year will be!) What is 1 thing you can do to take care of YOU today? This weekend? This hour or minute? What challenges will you then be ready to face, to rise to and to accomplish? All to create your incredible year and make your dreams happen?

This is our year, this is our time. The energy and loving opportunity in our world has almost never been stronger. You ARE ready!

There is a power in release. There is a power in remembering where we’ve been, where we’ve come from, what we’ve withstood, accomplished and dealt with. There is a power that comes from not ignoring how we feel and how things have affected us. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. However, there is also a power in letting it all go.

December can be a reflective month, with the end of the western calendar year, January and the new year and its new promises fast approaching. It is a time when many of us gather with families, friends, and connect with that from which we come. Those things that have helped to shape the versions of US that we are today. It is a time for remembering and honouring our past, just as much as it is for the excitement that comes with looking ahead.

While the tendency can be to solely focus on what is to come (who doesn’t like the excitement that comes with planning and thinking of all those happy shiney things that are so soon to come our ways?), it is also in keeping with our energetic capacity-levels to make sure we have also honoured and contemplated our past.

There is a saying I quite like, that I first heard many years ago: we cannot bring the new things into our wardrobe of life that we know will be happy and positive, until we have cleared our wardrobe of all those things that no longer serve us, and are no longer needed.

To me this means that in order to make room for that which will most benefit us, and that which we desire, we first need to clear our bodies, minds and souls of those things that we no longer need. Those items that, in essence, are taking up room that would be better filled by other things, people, behaviours, activities and ideas. Another way to look at it, is that we are each one human being in this world. While we are each beautiful, talented, gifted and amazing spirits in our world, we are also each one being with one set capacity of energy for putting our attention to all that we would like to in life. While that differs from person to person (I may have X hours/day, while you may find you have Y hours/day, etc.), the general rule is the same. We have two hands, ten fingers, one brain and one body and soul. (I’ll leave the quantum physics side of ‘what is time’ for another post…) All of this means that if you are using your valuable and beautiful time, energy and spirit to focus on things that don’t actually serve or benefit you, you are not leaving yourSelf room for all those incredible and important things that WOULD serve and benefit you — and to your highest power and good.

That’s all well and good, you may be asking, but how do you get from point A to point B? As with a lot of these things, there will be different routes that can help you find your way. What floats Susie’s boat, may not floats John’s and so on and so forth. So I’ll list a few things that you can use either as they are, or as a guide. You are your own best barometer, and if you listen and trust in the love you hear, you will find your right way through.

1. What are the top 10 things that currently take your time, energy and headspace?
2. How do you feel — in your body, spirit and mind — when you do those things? Take a few moments to still your body and mind, and allow yourself to just feel, whatever comes up. How do you feel when you THINK about doing them? (E.g. tense, nervous, angry, irritated, happy, excited, sad, etc.)
3. What are the ways you’d LIKE to feel in your body, spirit and mind? (E.g. excited, radiant, fulfilled, blessed, abundant, happy, at peace, blissful, etc.)
4. If you could take out ANY of the top 10 items in your list, from question number 1, what would they be?
5. Once you’ve identified which items you would remove, take some time to think about WHY. Make a list, journal it out and let your fingers write whatever comes to you, draw pictures that represent the WHY to you, or find pictures in a magazine, newspaper or online and cut those out and put them on a poster board or paper. Give yourself as much time, quiet and space as you feel you need for this. All these steps are valuable, but this is especially special as it is your time for reflection, remembering, looking at and being true to yourself: what are you ready to release? What no longer serves or helps you anymore? What are you ready to be free from?
6. Take your journal, list, collage or drawings — whatever way your inner Self has led you in step number 5 — and allow yourself to be still. Find a way that resonates with you to let yourself be free of all those things you no longer need. You might decide to tear them up into pieces and then find a quiet, peaceful and special place to bury them. You may prefer to take a lighter or match and burn them safely — remember your forest fire safety, Smokey the Bear is reminding me here ;). You may prefer to take the tiny pieces of your torn up items and let them be taken away by the wind’s gentle breeze. Or you may want to take them to a special source of water — a river, pond, ocean or stream — and allow the pieces to be washed away and your spirit’s emotions to let it all go as they are carried by the water’s waves.
7. Allow yourSelf to feel whatever comes to you, whatever emotions, energy or feelings arise. Let yourself feel these things and let it ride out — so that you can be done with it. It’s important you let this energy release from your body, spirit and mind: it’s when we push things down, or try to hide them or distract ourselves with other things that the energy remains and is kept within. We don’t need that, YOU don’t need that, and our world doesn’t need that. Our beautiful planet needs all the incredible gifts waiting and the light that you have to shine for us all. So let yourself and those emotions, that past and all those things you no longer need run free. Let them go, and let yourSelf be free.
8. After you have let the emotion run through, when you have felt its last tingles and once your body, spirit and mind have let them and YOU release, you can focus on the now. You can focus and look to the new. You can celebrate — the things you have accomplished, the lessons you have learned, the amazing steps and bounds you have leaped in this glorious past year. You deserve this. You are worth so much celebration, excitement and happiness at all you have done, all that you have now and all that is to come. Let yourSelf enjoy this special time, and do something incredible, beautiful, peaceful and blissful: just for YOU!

Here’s to YOU, here’s to ME, here’s to each of us! Here’s to all the incredible achievements and the amazing things we’ve done in 2014. The lessons we’ve learned, all we’ve done and the bravery we’ve shown and the lights we’ve shined. Here’s to US, and all that’s to come…!

It’s a time of reflection, it’s a time of remembrance, it’s a time of coming and drawing in. It’s a time of thinking about what we wish to take with us, what we no longer need, and what we have learned in this beautiful path and beautiful year.

There’s something called Happy Shiny Syndrome. You might recognise it, you may have it. I know I have. Happy Shiny Syndrome (as I call it) can be exciting. It’s a bit like that first flush of romantic love that we get in a new relationship: that exciting rush of emotion and seratonin energy that floods our bodies and our minds whenever we think of, are around, or are speaking with our new love. Happy Shiny Syndrome is that rush of creative spark and the thrill of inspiration that can come when we know we are onto something innovative, something important and something beautiful. This initial rush of happy shiny energy can be the spark many of us need to get started on those Big Ideas. Those things that we know will move us in directions that will allow our creative selves to soar. But also those things that have the potential to push us in ways we may not be comfortable with, that we may not have already experienced.

We NEED Happy Shiny Syndrome to help us get those amazing, Big Ideas on their way to the world. If we didn’t have happy shiny things to help us, it’s possible that our incredible ideas wouldn’t come out into the world at all. And that would be immensely sad: for you, for our world and for each of us in it.

The thing with Happy Shiny Syndrome, though, is that like that first rush of romantic love, there can come a time where the excitement fades and becomes something else. A bit less exuberant but equally important and beautiful in any creative process. (And in any loving relationship, at the same time) That is the settling in, the settling down: the DELIVERY phase.

For each of us, there comes a point where we intrinsically need to get our babies (metaphorical or otherwise) out into the world. It is a human need. A piece of evolutionary wonder that has been built into our very fibers. Into the conscience that makes us, US. This is a fantastic part of evolutionary trickery that has been built into every successful species of the world. The need to keep going, the need to make sure the species keeps going. The need to create more of our sparks, more of our ideas, more of our progeny. There is a deep, integral need to keep US going, however we can.

With this deeply wired need to keep our species, our beings, and the essence that makes us who we are going in our world, comes the phase where — for some — it can become all a bit too much. All a bit too scary, all a bit too…well, real. Because then we inevitably face the question of: what if? What if we’re not actually prepared, what if we’re not as good as we think we are, what if all those fears and doubts we try to push aside are actually right?

There’s something most parents, grandparents, and homegrown wisdom will tell you when it comes to the right time to have a child. There is never, really, a good time. But that when it happens, it happens…and by hook or by crook, it is a time where you can either sink or you can swim. The choice is up to you.

The same is true for your creative child: that happy shiny spark that was planted as a seed into your subconscious, into your being, into your core Self. It may feel, if you listen to your fears and doubts, that there will never be a right time. But, at the same time, you will inevitably KNOW when it’s time to make that choice of whether to see your creative inspiration to the finish. And what you do with it…well, that’s up to you.

So what do you do, when you have this incredible spark of creativity, your Big Idea, this baby of innovation inside of you and you also feel doubts, fears, the ‘what if’s? There are many tools of self help in our world, and as such, many routes to find clarity in a way that will feel best to you. What follows are just some ideas, that may help you along the way.

1. What does your body say?

It may sound a bit ‘eh?’, but trust me, your body is a wise, wise thing. Have you ever had that 6th sense feeling? Where you can just feel that something is a bit off, or incredibly exciting, and you’re not sure why? You may not have anything specific, or hard in its evidence to corroborate your instincts, but your inner self is yelling at you to listen anyway? If you can still your mind, clear it of extraneous thoughts, and focus on how your body feels when you think of your Big Idea you will find your answer. (Hint: if you get lots of excited shivers running up and down your body, or you get an insatiable urge to smile when you think of your idea…it’s a good one. If you feel overwhelmingly anxious, down, or a bit numb when you think of it — that’s a sign that this idea isn’t a good one for you right now. It doesn’t mean it never will, just not at the moment.)

2. Find the root of the nags.

Many of us will have something in our life that we can connect with any fears or doubts we feel. It may be something that happened when we were a child, as an older teen or adult. It may be something we observed or overheard from others in our environment, as we grew up. Whatever it is, most of those doubts and fears you may experience in connection with your creative inspiration tend to be first rooted in our subconscious selves at a very young age. Perhaps not in the form we feel them now, but the base cause of the emotions themselves can often be traced directly back to significant experiences earlier in our lives. Being able to figure these connections out, and to decipher what is actually going on when we feel these lower vibrational energies and emotions, is to give our Selves and our lives an amazing freedom and infinite doorways of creative opportunity.

3. Create systems and tools so that you can’t NOT succeed.

Each of us has a preferred method of getting things done. There are also a metric ton load of systems, gurus, programmes and software tools out there to help. I certainly have mine, which include things like mind mapping, top 5 MIT’s per day (you can amend the list to put in what feels right for you), automated responses for regular questions, automated acknowledgement for emails and social media with a 48 hour response time (again, you can amend for what feels right for you), Lastpass to save all passwords, management software like Basecamp and MS Dynamics (or your trusty old excel spreadsheet), and creative software such as Adobe, Photoshop, MS Publisher and online tools like PicMonkey or Canva.

4. Get good people on your team.

I have no doubt that you are an incredible, innovative, brave and strong willed person. If you’ve read this far, that’s testament to your resilience, alone. ;) Kidding aside, even the most amazing of us need others around us to achieve our dreams. Yes, you have the insight, you have the spark of inspiration and you have your beautiful spirit, mind and hands to create all that is within your amazing soul. BUT — you are also you, and for all the good will in the world, you very likely don’t have the time you may wish to create and give to the world all that you have inside you. You still need time to eat, sleep, bathe….all those little things. ALSO — more people equals more opportunities (you never know who may know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone…), more collective time and more manpower. I’d highly recommend you utilise the power of the non-disclosure and intellectual property agreements when working with teams: it’s not about non-trust, it’s just making sure everything is protected and safe, as sometimes misunderstandings and accidents happen.

5. Go Go Gadget YOU Go! (And don’t forget that Self Care…)

Go go go with your Incredible Self! When you have that buzz of inspiration, that creative spark within, it is a beautiful, amazing thing. It is something that so many seek to create within themselves with things like retreat days, workshops and inspirational talks that to have it just come within you is a truly special thing indeed. That’s not to say utilising external means of inspiration is bad or a negative. Just that when it comes from your internal Self, you have a bit of an upper hand. It is special, a divine head start and something to be immensely grateful for. SO: don’t squander it, eh? When you have that blessed opportunity of divinely inspired creativity, take that seed and run with it!

Through all of this, most importantly, will be the importance of YOU: your body, spirit, mind. You are your most valuable resource, and none of your incredible creativity will be able to make its way into the world if you’re not also making sure to take care of you, lovely. That bit I joked about earlier not actually being a joke comes in here…hence, making sure that your Daily MIT’s include healthy, nourishing, regular meals and/or snacking, enough rest and sleep for you, bathing and clothes that keep you feeling warm, comforted, inspired and radiant. And when times feel a bit tough, remembering that it is OK to take a step back, to ask for help, to reschedule that interview or meeting for tomorrow rather than yesterday. All of these things will be so important for you, your team (the best leaders lead by example) and all those around you. When you are taking care of you, following your inspirational joie de vivre and your brave, incredible Self, you are saying to all those around you that it is OK for them to do so, too. And when you deliver that amazing child within, and it touches the world, you will be so, so glad that you did. (As will we.)

We all have them: those moments, those times when our heart may seize, when we may forget to breathe, when we feel the energy rise up to our chest or our hearts…when, just for that space in time, we aren’t entirely sure how or IF we’ll be able to do it. If we’ll be able to actually DO what we’ve saying to others we will, if we’ll be able to make that incredible idea happen or live out what we keep dreaming — night after night after night after… Where we may think to ourselves, just for a moment: what if I can’t actually DO this? What if it’s just not me? What if I’m reaching and aiming too high? (And the ultimate question: What if it fails?)

It’s an incredible thing, that leap of faith which we all encounter, that we all are faced with at one time or another, in some way, shape or form throughout our lives. There’s something incredible that happens…not just for us, and what we may consciously realise for our own mind and sense of achievement when we DO go for our dreams, and see that we CAN succeed. But also for those around us, for those in our lives…and on a very real, cellular and minute level that science is only just beginning to grasp and understand.

On a probably more obvious personal level, when we take those first steps towards what we keep thinking about, and likely have long dreamed of, we feel good. We feel good about ourselves, we feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement, and we begin to feel more motivated to do more of those things that make us feel good. On a wider and social level, when others see us making positive changes in our lives, and see us succeed in our courage, it begins to inspire THEM to look at their own lives, too. To start considering what they may want to do, what dreams they’ve long had but not taken action on, or what they’ve always been curious about but perhaps been afraid to try. It’s variously referred to as the domino effect or the Butterfly Effect, and is well established, scientifically proven and generally well understood by the wider public.

But what happens on a closer look? On a cellular, and minute level within ourselves? This is an area that science and medicine is just beginning to more fully understand, and which I touched on in my first post on Medium, called ‘Love’. I’ll use an example I’m guessing we can all relate to to explain the way it works.

Let’s say you send an email to put yourself forward for an exciting opportunity, in an area you’re not already familiar with, but have long wanted to be a part of. It is also a very exciting area and type of opportunity to you, and has the potential to connect you with important people and the types of movers and decision makers that could lead to even more exciting things for you. Let’s say that in order to do it, you will need to become more comfortable with public speaking (it’s a part of what will be required of you), and that speaking in public scares the bejezus out of you. Let’s say you are successful, and you begin receiving more opportunities to speak publically. You go to the events, you speak in public, and you are able to do it! The more you do it, the happier you feel as you are accomplishing what you’ve long thought about with moving further into this new exciting area and all the opportunities that come with it. You will be feeling and likely have many thoughts that echo your feelings of happiness and achievement. That’s not all that will be happening, though, your body will also be feeling this surge in happiness feelings and as you do this more and more, the intensity and rate at which your body feels these happy feelings (aka serotonin) will also increase dramatically.

There is also increasing evidence that shows not only does it affect our minds and bodies on a cellular level in the specific instances of happiness, while we’re still experiencing the happiness — but it can also be recalled again and again by our bodies just by remembering those moments (even long after the specific instances have passed). This ability of our body to hold onto the way our accomplishments, and the memories of those accomplishments, have made us feel effects and extends all the way to our body’s health: even years later. There is growing evidence within the mainstream medical and science establishment, of something many alternative medical fields have held true for generations: what we think and what we feel presents itself in the ways we become sick, stay healthy, and even to the ways our children and (more and more evidence suggests) our grandchildren experience their health, too.

So when you make a positive change in your life and walk past your fears to the satisfaction of success, you are affecting your life not only in the present moment, but your entire Self’s (body, mind and spirit — for we are each all these things in one body) life, health and happiness: for you, your future, and your children’s children’s future.

You may be feeling…um, pressure much?? But I hope you don’t — that is absolutely not my intention, and if anything, the very opposite of what I hope to express here and what I hope you will feel when reading these words. What I DO hope for is that you will feel excited, that you will feel an inner knowing and growing awareness of the incredible opportunity this knowledge of the links between body/mind and spirit, and what doorways this can open. Not just for and your life in the present moment, but what it can open for so many others just through this moment of your awareness now. For when we become aware of something, our knowledge of ourselves and what we can each do — every day and in so many ways — to help our lives be happier and healthier, more and more, also changes. This then creates the opportunity for our futures to be even more exciting, peaceful and beautiful when we put that knowledge into action and positive changes. From that, we create an even greater opportunity for the lives of our children and their children. So on and so forth. And I find that, and all of this, so incredibly exciting, liberating, gorgeously empowering — for us all.

Here’s to you, here’s to me, here’s to each of us as we create our lives, our minds and our world into the one we would most like it to be. The one it CAN be and IS becoming, each and every day.

#BeTheChange #love #shapeourworld

We each have those life moments…those things that may seem small to the casual observer, perhaps even to ourselves at first glance, but which in hindsight we may come to recognise as soul-defining.

Yesterday I went to an all day workshop by someone who I’ve quite admired, and as I came to realise, had held up on a throne. This person is an internationally best selling author, speaker and someone who is widely regarded as a spiritual leader. It was with that in mind that I excitedly bought tickets, several weeks ago, to see them speak in London. A unique opportunity to soak in what I held as soul-changing truths, inspiration and a life-changing experience. And it was, but not as I’d anticipated.

It may be worth giving a slight background before I go on: like many of us, I have had my share of difficulties in this lifetime, and have recently begun work which has made me realise that not only have my current life’s lessons touched me deeply, but that actually they go much further, much deeper in my spirit’s experience and is a part of the Universal fabric of which we are all a part. Coming to terms with my own voice, my gifts and the potential through which my experience may be of service and help others in this lifetime is something I am continuing to learn about. I am continuing to strive for my own learning, my own knowledge-building to help me be of wider service, and at the same time I know that my growth, my healing is fundamental and at the absolute core key of my ability to be of service to anyone else. This truth, in the importance of my own peace and healing, is something that I hold as vitally important and intrinsically dear: I have not always let my Self be my top priority, and if anything, I have many times tended to put others above my own care and needs.

It is with that in mind, that when I stood to ask a question at yesterday’s workshop I was excited, I was happy to be at this point in my life where I am becoming more comfortable and at ease — and confident in the importance of — my own power, my own needs, my own health and my own dreams. There was not a lot of time left and the event was soon coming to a close. I didn’t have much time to give further background into my story, as explanation and brief context to my query, and I got it out as quickly as I could. The response I got back was not at all what I’d anticipated, and in all honesty, not what I hoped for.

What I got felt critical and with an energy of unfair judgment. Thinking on it later, I know there wasn’t time for this person to have gotten proper context from me. When they implied that I did not understand that there were many others in the audience who also share my life’s mission, it felt like an attack: like an assumption that I thought I was better than others, more important. I know that I do not think I’m better than anyone else — if anything, it has taken me many years just to recognise my own importance and worthiness, at all. If there had been more time, perhaps there could have been further dialogue, perhaps I could have explained more. But it was what it was, and I know the Universe aligned it just as it needed to be.

There is a Universal truth which states that those things we most fear or hold within ourSelves will be reflected as mirrors in all those we encounter. So, if someone’s timekeeping skills really gets on your nerves, it is possible they are reflecting your own tendency to not be great with keeping to time and perhaps not being as considerate of others as you could be — ultimately, not being as considerate of yourSelf as you could be, and repeating a pattern when you are late, which perhaps you’ve been working to overcome. What I realised, as I walked home, as I ran the encounter over and over in my mind — trying to find what the purpose had been, what was the lesson there for me? — is that this person’s critical and assumptive response was also reflecting back to me what a part of me feared: that others would think I hold myself as more important than they are. That others may think me conceited, too big for my britches. Ultimately, and at my Core, this person was reflecting back a fear in that moment connected to the energy of worth. What if the gifts I have to share and my light aren’t actually worthy or good enough to shine.

Now, I know that isn’t true. I know that I am absolutely important and have so much to share and help shine on the world. But somewhere, I chose that lesson. In essence, I chose this person’s critical, judgemental response: I chose it with the energy I projected, and to which they responded in kind. Like attracts like. I gave out an energy of fear. And this person felt that, at least on an energetic level even if they didn’t consciously, and the way they responded affirmed my energetic fear in that moment. There is also the point that they could have chosen to react differently. They could have reached into their spiritual awareness for that moment, and reacted in a way to show love, show affirmation, show that they recognised and encouraged the work I have to share. But truly, it’s not their job. That isn’t their responsibility. I am my most valuable asset, and that is the ultimate truth at each of our cores: the most, incredible and Divine Truth is that what most matters is the validation we give ourSelves. The love we give ourSelves, the worthiness we recognise in ourSelves, the importance and most beautiful energy and care that we give to ourSelves: to our dreams, our wishes, our life’s experiences, and the gifts we each have to share with this incredible world in which we are all a part.

I know I am OK. I know I am beautiful in my spirit. I know I have an important and incredible light and gifts to share and shine (as do we all). I know I am worthy. I know I am validated. I know that my story is just as important as anyone else’s in the world. I know I do not need that validation or placing of value from anyone else — even best selling authors and spiritual leaders: mine is all that matters. Just as yours is all that matters — we each have so much to give, and our voices, our lives and our Truths are so valuable and so needed. Please remember. Please allow. Please shine and share your beauty inside: we are each so blessed, loved, and part of something so incredible. Now, almost more than ever.

Namaste.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way…

Do you ever pretend that you’re the star of your own movie? Maybe a super hero/ine, or a damsel/gentleman in distress who is rescued by a stranger on a white horse. Or perhaps the detective in a murder mystery who finds out the killer’s identity just in the nick of time. You might be an explorer, discovering new lands far, far away. Or yours is a story of extraordinary things in the most ordinary of circumstances.

Whatever your story, we each have our own. We each have a story, from the time we were born, to our childhood and the teenage years, to finding our way in the world and then raising any children of our own. We each have our beginning, followed by a journey of truth and identity, to our current lifetime’s end and passing on to whatever lies ahead. Aside from the more unusual beginnings, most of us are likely to share similar early years in our lives. To an extent, you could argue the same for the years preceeding our twilight hour. It’s those intermediary years — our middle lifetime — that tend to the varying spectrum of things.

The question, therefore, tends to be something along the lines of: I’m here now, what next?

How do we make our mark in the world? How do we come to terms with any loose ends or difficulties early in life? How do we find our Selves and make a real, lasting difference in the world?

I attended a talk by Russell Brand this week, as a part of the Guardian series of lectures. I have a lot of time for Brand, despite his tendency towards controversial press. Most of us know his story — raised in Essex, raised by his single mother before his illness of drug addiction coincided with his rise to fame on Big Brother’s Big Mouth. Brand eventually coming to terms with and recovering from his addiction — though he is the first to point out he will always be a recovering addict. (The things that bring you to addiction hardly ever just go away.)

By and large, Russell Brand is an example of someone who has fought many shadow sides to his own cult of personality. A seminal tirade against the Sun newspaper during his appearance at the Policeman’s Ball cementing the turning point of his career and public opinion for many.

I have been an admirer of Brand’s verbose wit and political commentary humour and writing since that Sun barrage — he bravely spoke what many say amongst their friends, but that few have the courage to voice in the public domain. His continuing journey as someone who does not shy from speaking his mind is something that I will always admire.

So it was with that, that I found myself at his Guardian talk last Thursday, coinciding with the release of his most recent book, Revolution. Brand is clearly in the midst of a courageous journey. A growing advocate of social housing and campaigner for those in danger of losing their homes, Brand spoke about his journey into a daily practice of yoga, meditation. This and his growing political awareness was evident. He truly has the gift of speech and has the benefit of the public’s attention. He is using this gift, more and more, to help those who need it. He doesn’t shy from pointing out he’s not perfect, and was very open about his shadow side: addiction, vanity amongst the ones he mentioned. However, he is also incredibly honest about his willing and continuing drive to grow and become a happier, healthier version of Russell Brand as he possibly can be. A particular heartwarming point for me being when he told a sweet, visibly shaking in nerves young woman who stood at the microphone to ask a question, ‘Don’t worry, it’s only energy. Keep going, you can do it, don’t think about that, don’t worry about it, it’s only energy’. He then went down to give her a hug when she’d finished, as a sign that he knew how brave she’d been, and that it was all OK. Another touching moment when he finished the talk with a few closing words for the audience, ‘It’s OK if you’re not perfect, you’re lovely, you’re beautiful, and you’re the most perfect you. You aren’t too fat, you aren’t stupid, you aren’t too anything. You are perfect, just as you are.’ Throughout the talk, he told the audience again and again that there is a power in numbers, that together we can achieve anything, that our time is now. When Vivienne Westwood rose to ask a question, and voiced her concern that we may be too late, Brand was kind, respectful and spoke with dignity in his reply that she’d perhaps answered her own question when she suggested that what was really needed was to join forces wherever possible — power and strength in numbers and joining up networks.

I would imagine, that if Russell Brand’s life were a film, this would be just after his training montage following a hard-won struggle, and with a glorious rousing speech soon to come where even his worst enemy is moved to stand in ovation in the end. Brand is someone who speaks from his life experience. He does not ignore his past, his less than finer moments, or choices he wishes had been made differently. But equally, he is confident and sure that he has just as much beauty, happiness, and goodness to give and share with the world as any less than divine attributes. He is human, and he points out again and again that he is also capable of what we are each capable of: our greatest, most brightly shining heights.

A remarkable beacon of inspiration for our world, Dolores Cannon, passed away Saturday morning, 18th October at her home and surrounded by her family and those she loved. Dolores was a remarkable spirit and a remarkable woman, with a story whose beginning could not have predicted the incredible path her life would take.

A military wife, born in 1931, she devoted much of her early life to her family, moving to different places around the world for her husband’s military duties. When he was in a serious car accident, he was left paralysed and Dolores devoted her time to caring for him, their children and a quiet life in the Arkansas mountains. However, there was a spark that had begun before her husband’s accident, when he and she studied hypnotherapy and through unexpected experiences with one of their patients, discovered a past life had begun to communicate with them through the sessions.

When their children grew and had moved out into the world, Dolores returned to the early hypnotherapy work and the past life regression experiences she and her husband had had but a glimpse of before. Through her continuing work, studies into the historic authenticity of what her patients told her in sessions, and her own experiences in working with and speaking to others as the years followed, Dolores’s path followed a direction I can only imagine she could not have fathomed before that point in her life.

Dolores was an incredible woman and a brave, amazing light in our world and withstood much criticism and skepticism to stay true to what she knew in her core was right: to follow her instincts, believe in the greater importance for our world in the work and books she gave throughout her life, and to stay true to her dreams, her vision and her brightly shining Self.

Along with Dolores, this year finds so many other incredible, inspirational and beautiful lights making their ways across the Veil — BKS Iyengar, Dr. Maya Angelou, Stephen Sutton and Gabriel Garcia Marquez amongst them. When BKS Iyengar passed away, my Lovely Man (as I refer to him online) and I were moved and LM suggested we do something to mark his memory. We lit a white candle, and each had a moment, reflecting, and saying a few words in honour. When it came time for my turn, I felt myself speaking and with a voice that was not entirely mine. (I can be verbose, but rarely am I quite that eloquent in normal conversation) I found myself saying these words: ‘We give reverance to the inspirational light for us all, in this passing of the wisdom and spirit of BKS Iyengar. We give him thanks and we give him remembrance. We are in an Age of Aquarius, and with the passing of all those who have gone before us, and who go now — with these souls passing into the Veil, they are helping to usher in the doorway for all those who remain. It is time for those who are left to rise up — to make our marks, to make a difference, to rise to the challenge and this opportunity. It is Our Time. It is our doorway, our opportunity, and our pathway to take and follow now.’

I know I have felt it, and perhaps you have too. The energy of our world, of our communities, our countries and our lives is changing, growing. We have this incredible life, this incredible moment — every day and in so many ways — to make a difference. To make a positive change and to follow our dreams, visions and the life we wish to see, the world we wish to be. Nothing is impossible. If the inspirations and lives of all those incredible souls doesn’t make you feel that, I’m not completely sure what may.

A young man died this year, in a sad, tragic car accident. His name was Pete, and he was an incredible light: so beautiful, always smiling, so happy and so excited for all that he knew he had ahead. He exhaled a zest and love for all he did — with his music, his family, friends and with a natural talent that was divinity inspired. He held a beautiful and inspirational spirit for all who knew him. Though LM and I only knew him from the occassional gig, funny conversation or smile in passing, he touched our lives. We went to his funeral earlier this year, and even our difficulties during that time didn’t matter in comparison to honouring Pete. He was only 23, but his life had already touched multitudes. The church was packed with many standing in aisles, there were that many there. Many of those who spoke during the service recalled that Pete didn’t know, he didn’t understand, he didn’t believe that he — just HIM, as a person, as an individual, as a single light — made a difference. He didn’t believe that he actually mattered, not that much, or that his talent was all that remarkable. He didn’t believe that he was as great as so many others kept telling him he was. Pete didn’t give himself the credit, the full realisation, or the full value that he could have — that so many others did, every day and in so many ways.

Since Pete’s accident, many who knew him have changed their lives in amazing ways. Inspired by Pete and realising how precious our time, each day and every moment on this earth are, so many have been inspired: to follow and to at last listen to their own beautiful dreams, wishes and hopes for their life and for the world’s.

Our lives are a series of moments - pictures, memories, people, conversations that we’ll always remember, laughter, times and emotions. Our lives capture all spectrums, with sunshine and warm days, rain and a cozy blanket indoors, a kiss with our loved one, a hug that makes us feel that we matter in the hardest of times, the bravery it takes when we speak a truth we are afraid to share. Life is the chance we give to ourselves, and by doing so, the opportunities and inspiration we share with all those around us. It is the butterfly effect and the truth that we CAN and DO make a difference, that we CAN and DO make our world into whatever shape we wish to see: we have that power, we have that strength, we have that divinely inspired beauty and wisdom. And when we follow our own truths, dreams and hopes for the world, we inspire others to do so, too. They, then, inspire all those who see and surround them, which inspires all those who see and surround those others…and so on, and so on.

Be YOU — sparkly, brightly shining, inspiringly vibrant YOU.

Be BRAVE — do those things you keep thinking about, follow those inner nudges that keep softly calling you, pick up that phone/write that email/talk to that person in your life or circle or name on the screen.

Be LOVING — to yourself and those around you.

Be CARING — pick up that rubbish on the road, smile at that person behind the counter, ask that individual struggling with their heavy bags if they’d like some help.

Be FREE — give yourself and others the freedom to follow their dreams, be a cheerleader for them AND you, go on that spontaneous weekend adventure and see what awaits you, take that class even though you’re not sure why, skip down that road and have fun throwing autumn leaves in the air like you did when you were 5.

Whatever you wish to do, whatever you wish was different in the world, in your life and in your soul: you can do it, and our world and Universe will be so, so grateful you did!

You MATTER.

I know what love feels like.

No joke, no overdramatisation, no exaggeration. I know what love feels like, in my body, in my cells, in my mind and in my soul.

Earlier this year, I experienced what I later realised was a normal (if it can be called normal) PTSD reaction. I began shaking, uncontrollably, and became intensely, overwhelmingly upset to an argument with my boyfriend. He put his hand on my arm, and spoke in an irritated tone, and just that set me off. The doctor I later had treatment with told me that it was a classic case of issues that I had buried, for years, suddenly coming out when my body could no longer contain the feelings I experienced. It was like a sponge that was so full of water, it just couldn’t hold anymore, and so dripped the water being poured on it instead.

Once I realised what was going on — it’s amazing the wonders that Google can make for those who need an answer, fast — I looked up doctors in my area who could help. I found that there was a doctor who could help, with a treatment called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). A newer field of therapy, it is now recognised in mainstream medicine as being an incredibly effective, if intense for the patient, way to treat those who have experienced trauma.

The ‘sponge overfill’ and what brings someone to that point depends slightly on the patient as, like many things, our bodies can react differently to the same stimulae and our unique personalities. The ways we react to our emotions and the experiences we go through varies from person to person. Essentially, though, the process can be described like this:

Way We Feel Love

The ways our bodies stores emotions is the same, whether it’s love, fear, anger or worry. It is an emotion we experience, which makes our cells vibrate with the energy that emotion sends out. The chemical process that takes place when our cells vibrate, means we are literally creating our own cellular energy. The energy that is created with the vibration is stored in our bodies, within our muscles, and is called ‘muscle memory’. The muscle memory then becomes an attachment our bodies will continue to have, for the rest of our lives without active change on our parts, as the ways we experience emotions — whenever they occur, in whatever circumstances, with whatever person is present, and at times when no one else is with us at all. That is because even the sheer act of memory of particular instances, and their associated emotions in our minds, is still stored and kept within our bodies and muscles. Therefore our bodies — and as a result, our minds — experience the emotions EXACTLY THE SAME, whether we are remembering something that took place today, last month, or when we were infants.

This understanding of the ways emotions and experiences are processed within each of us, and stored not just by our memories but our bodies as well, is an incredibly innovative step. Not only in the field of science, but in the ways we treat those who have experienced difficult emotions, have issues in their lives that are holding them back, and how we help those who have been through more intense traumatic situations. When it comes to PTSD, the understanding of emotions and their cellular connections is a major breakthrough and means that treatments such as EMDR are quite literally, changing lives.

So what does Love FEEL like? (Or any emotion, for that matter?) Well, perhaps not surprisingly, it feels warm. When our bodies are feeling an emotion, the resulting cellular vibration means our cells are moving at an immense speed, all at once, and over and over. This creates a heat in our bodies from the high intensity vibrating motion, and if felt for prolonged periods, it’s a bit like you’ve run a marathon in 3 seconds. You are exhausted, physically, and it flows through your body and every pore of your being. So you can feel like you’ve not only run your 3 second marathon, but while also wearing a deep sea diving suit from the 1930's.

Love also feels….lovely. Warm, in a gentle way, pleasant, comforting, happy and absolutely the most peaceful thing you can possibly ever imagine. Picture a 3 year old who has just been told they can have all the ice cream they could possibly ever want, and that they’ve won this reward for being such a loved little girl or boy. Not for doing anything to have achieved it, but simply for being them. Just that. And just that has won them a height that will never end, will never lessen in its comfort, warmth and beauty, and which has been with them always. A bit like Dorothy and her red shoes.

Knowing what Love is like, knowing how it feels (and knowing how beautiful and absolutely perfect in its grace and alignment Love is — for us all) may make you wonder why we would ever want to feel anything else. It certainly has for me. I understand the psychological reasons someone may choose to feel things other than Love, that through repeated experiences and difficulties we may have convinced our minds that the pain our bodies feel when they are given anything other than Love is somehow normal, somehow OK. Even with that understanding, and despite having faced so many of my own fears and difficulties, once I felt Love I could not envisage WHY any of us would possibly ever want to feel anything else. I find it hard to see why we would ever want to make those around us feel anything other than Love: our neighbours, our colleagues, our friends and our loved ones. Once I felt fear in my body, during my EMDR sessions when working through a traumatic experience, I have been left even more dumbfounded as to why ANY of us would possibly want to put another soul through such a horrible thing like that. Or why we would want to keep our own Selves in such painful, terrifying, and horrific states — in our minds, bodies or souls.

So, my verdict? EMDR is amazing, an absolute game changer, and I almost cannot remember my life before I gave myself the gift of healing. And the Beatles? Those guys were onto something. Something incredible, something beautiful. Something with a deep, immense and timeless wisdom that is an incredible reminder for us all.

All we truly need, is Love.