Consider this: We may not be able to stop the chaos of the ‘banana world’ … twitch our nose and create a world that honors women and girls right now … or make systems value the more feminine (and often invisible) energies such as stillness, intuition and compassion as much as fast action and measurable results. But… we can use our power of connection + communication to co-create this reality now, in a small yet significant way.

I call it the Honoring Practice.

A little on what I mean by honor: I love the energy and power of “Honor.” To me, honoring someone always feels like a gift, a connection, an affectionate acknowledgment that lets a person know that their presence has made a difference — in some way, that may seem small to them, but that has had significant meaning and impact on us, and others.

Honor isn’t about giving or receiving recognition for a material reward … it’s subtler than that. I think it’s the subtleness and simplicity in honor that gives it the flavor of genuineness that has a meaningful impact on both giver and receiver.

Honoring is especially potent I find when we honor someone not just for the tangible things they have achieved, but for the ‘invisible’ ways their presence, care, guidance, & insight has impacted us in ways they may not know.

The Practice: Today, within the energy of international women’s day and Women’s History Month, I was inspired to pause and reflect on the women who have made impact in my life throughout my career and life. Women whose presence, wisdom and care helped me navigate new terrain and embody my genuine essence, wisdom and power.

I thought about each one of the women and talked about their impact with another person — I shared with Noah, my partner. over coffee this morning about what each woman taught me and gave me that is still with me today.

• I thought about how each showed up in their natural presence and how their presence inspired me — Recalling their expression, and how just by being who they were, I found a part of my own essence as a leader.
• I connected — Some I have stayed in touch with, others I took a look online to see what they were up to, and all I made a commitment to reach out to personally this month, with a simple note of gratitude to let them know the impact of their presence in my life at a specific time has stayed with me.

The Impact of the Honoring Practice

Afterward (and really all day), I felt more connected. More at ease, and feeling more momentum and possibility. Even with all the heaviness in the world, I feel lighter. More buoyant and resilient.

Beside the obvious reasons this would feel so good, in reflection I see how these simple actions fired up feelings of my “co-creative power”, i.e. putting what I want to see in the world into the world now.

In my case, creating a world that: Honors women. Values the heart. Acknowledges & value the “invisible acts” that often go unnoticed (and are rarely compensated), but in reality are what hold our families, teams, organizations and society together and allow for the material success to happen.

The Step by Step — Give it a Try.

1. Consider a woman or the women who have made a difference in your life, career, leadership, wellbeing or presence — think about the specific interactions and how they impacted you.

2. Pause for for a minute or two and feel both the energy of that woman and her impact on you — honoring her wisdom, care and essence.

3. Anytime today or this month reach out - even if you haven’t spoken in years. Make it a simple connection to let her know the invisible impact she’s had on you, that she may not even fully know. Share how her presence in your life mattered.

BONUS: Share with another person about this person’s impact on you. Tell the story of what you learned and received from her.

One thing I know for sure …

Simple acts can shift our reality.
Honoring is a super power.
Dare to wield yours :)

Every December, as a personal leadership best-practice, I ask myself 4 inquiries and then alter my personal and professional choices accordingly. They make a huge difference in how I feel when I begin my next year, and how I reflect and see the year that’s just been.

In the past decade as I’ve shared this practice with people — which I call the “December Downshift” — is that while the idea of doing it sounds divine, the reality of the pace and pressure in our work, family and end-of-the-year life keeps us from doing what the natural world started way back in November — slowing down.

Most of us would emphatically agree that we’d love to:

• Start the new year feeling clear — mentally & emotionally.
• Have our home and work space feel clear and coherent.
• Create more space for ourselves and only complete what matters most and reflow the rest to next year — ahh! exhale.
• Be free of some of the relationship drama or distress in our personal or professional relationships that shows up during the holidays, or is hanging out from earlier this year.

But we find it challenging to go against the tide of what Clarissa Pinkola Estes aptly termed “the over-culture” — “the dominant and often power-mad culture we try to navigate without being crushed or over-assimulated into, thereby losing all our unusual talents, our never before seen wonders.”

To go against such a strong current of year-end deadlines, family obligations, and the holiday consumption machine, we need super powers. One that I love to apply at this time is the super power of “harmonic defiance” which I define in my book Overwhelmed and Over It as this:

“Harmonic Defiance is choosing to defy the systems and realities that do not work for you, not by ranting and raging but by doing things differently, in wise ways that cultivate harmony.

Choosing to proactively create new realities by how you design your life; lead within your organization, community, and family; and show up in your relationships. You don’t ask for permission. You just choose what is in harmony. And do it.”

Harmonic defiance isn’t about having to do or make some grand global impact, it’s about embracing our power to create a better world and better way of working and living by the choices we make in our day to day lives. For example: choosing to mimic mother nature in December vs. mimicking the over-culture.

I’ve shared below the 4 inquiries, which use the wisdom-led leadership capacity of ‘intuitive thinking.’

Intuitive inquiries seek wisdom vs. answers, and so reveal insights we miss if we only operate from our mental and intellectual mind vs our higher and intuitive mind.

Ask and answer these for yourself and use them for your team, so you can end the year feeling good about what you’ve done, clear in mind and heart, ready to step into the new year reset.

1. What do I desire to complete to set me up to step into 2022 replenished, reset and open to receive in my:

• Professional life: projects and goals
• Personal foundation: health, finances and home

2. What would I love to let go, release or clean up before year end? These are emotional judgements or baggage, relational realities or mental patterns that are calling for attention to bring into coherency or leave behind.

3. What connections do I desire to make (new ones or reconnecting to old ones) now, and will reach out to before we complete 2021?

4. What would feel good and aligned to re-flow — move this into next year, and by doing so release self-induced pressure? Knowing that I can re-engage with this in the new year.

It helps a lot to write these out and then take simple but mighty actions accordingly. Invite a friend to do this with you for extra accountability. I use these with my team and in my marriage to create more supportive relationships and sustainable success all around.

For an extra resource, tune into podcast episode 171 POWER PAUSE: Inquiries that Will Support You to Complete the Year Feeling Clear on my podcast, Feminine Power Time.

Also, you can join me for the annual year end Reflection Ritual & Power Pause — a 4-step reflection process — at www.ReflectionRitual.com

You can also find a complimentary article on Elephant Journal at https://www.elephantjournal.com/2021/12/december-downshift-4-questions-we-can-ask-to-complete-the-year-feeling-clear-christine-arylo/

Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.

Did you know that your physical body is the last place dis-ease and the effects of overwhelm and burnout show up?

By the time you feel exhausted or foggy or show other physical symptoms, you’ve already depleted yourself. The dis-ease has rooted itself into your physical body or your mental mind, and it takes much longer to recover and return to a state of harmony.

Consider the word disease — not just as physical symptom or a diagnosis but as a state of un-ease within you. Dis- means “apart.” Disease is to be apart from ease, apart from harmony. When you are more aware of the dis-ease you experience mentally in the form of anxiety, worry, or negative self-talk, or experience energetically in your nervous system as frustration or feeling flooded, you become empowered to make changes sooner, before becoming completely depleted or physically sick.

Recall a time you hit your wall, got sick, or crumbled under the pressure. Weren’t there signs that may have been subtle, but upon reflection, you can see how your whole system or parts of your system were overtaxed? We tend to associate burnout with our physical body or mental state because those are the areas we’ve been taught to focus on.

There are at least eight kinds of burnout, only one of which is physical burnout. These other kinds of burnout often show up before the signs of exhaustion and disease appear in your body.

When you can articulate what kind of burnout you are experiencing, versus just saying you are burned-out, exhausted, or overwhelmed, you are more empowered to see the root, and get what you need before you get sick.

Read about the different kinds of burnout below, which come from the decade of research I did to get to the root of what’s causing the increasing levels of burnout, overwhelm, anxiety, whacked out hormones, and more in women.

Consider which of these you may be experiencing now, noting that you have likely experienced many.

The 8 Kinds of Burnout

1. Mental burnout: My mind cannot process any more; it’s fried.

2. Emotional burnout: These heavy or anxious emotions are exhausting me.

3. Compassion burnout: I cannot hold any more loving space for anyone else; I’m tapped.

4. Relational burnout: I’ve been overgiving to others, my organization, or my community/family, and I am over it.

5. Survival burnout: I’m exhausted from trying to make ends meet and stay afloat.

6. Superwoman burnout: The weight of taking on so much is too much; I can’t hold it all anymore.

7. Passion burnout: I love what I do, but I’ve given too much and pushed too hard.

8. Physical burnout: My body is revolting; I have depleted my life force.

Take a pause here so we can increase your self-awareness of how these types of burnout show up for you.

This will help you be more empowered to see and feel the signs or symptoms before you get to the point of physical burnout. Then try the harmonizing practice to identify which kind of burnout you may currently be experiencing and what you need to reverse the slide into burnout. (Taken from Overwhelmed and Over It, Chapter 3).

Self-Awareness: What Are Your Burnout Signals?

1. Which kinds of burnout have I experienced?

2. What are the signs or symptoms that I am experiencing these kinds of burnout? When these occur, use the harmonizing practice below to keep you from sliding into burnout.

Harmonizing Practice: Revers The Burnout Slide

Ask yourself: What do I need to receive to reverse the slide into physical burnout? Then give yourself this space or support to yourself, no matter what.

To learn more, get a copy of Overwhelmed and Over It: Embrace Your Power to Stay Centered and Sustained in a Chaotic World.

And tune into this episode of the Feminine Power Time Podcast:
Overwhelmed & Over It! Why It’s Not Your Fault: 5 Truths to Liberate You from Burnout & Self Sacrifice

When I look back at the generations of women who have come before us, whose light we stand in, and whose wisdom we can build from, I see this:

The power of our individual and collective strength — women embodying their full spectrum of power, centered in the heart. Courageous and compassionate. Devoted and determined. Deep intuitive wisdom and mindful thinking.

We women are strong.

Our strength is formidable, beautiful and has within it the power of creation itself. Yet, there is also a shadow to this super woman strength that has been taking its toll on women for far too long:

We women have become so strong and self-sufficient that we’ve come to accept the frenzied, overfilled, fast pace at which we work and live as ‘normal.’

We’ve become so capable at getting the work done and taking care of everyone that our tolerance threshold for sacrificing our health, human needs and personal desires is making us sick.

Yes, we are strong, but are we are not super heroines, productivity machines or self-less martyrs. We are women who have needs, not because we are weak, but because we are human beings.

Perhaps the time has come to redefine what it looks like to be a strong, successful woman. Perhaps the time has come to admit the pressure and pace are too much, even for strong women like us.

Not from a place of defeat, or as a disempowered victim. But by standing truly in our power and being real about what is not working for us and has not been sustainable for some time. And without shame, guilt or self-judgement embrace the following.

We women are tired.

Tired not just from a pandemic and all of the chaos of the past year. We are exhausted from years of over-working, over-giving, over-stretching and over-extending our time, energy and money to ‘make things work’ within systems and a society that were never built with a woman’s best interest at heart.

If honest, most of us would admit that even before 2020, our bodies were bone tired, our minds frazzled, our spirits weary and our hearts heavy. We feel unsupported and stretched too thin, too often. We keep giving to our work and others, without getting what we need. Until we get sick, quit or find ourselves in a super woman sob, where the spontaneous tears just won’t stop.

The pressure and expectations are too much to hold.

Most every woman I know and the women who came before us has stood here. If you too have found yourself here, know you are not alone.

And then take a deep exhale, in recognition of what you’ve just been through this last year — the emotional, energetic, mental and physical stress, stretches and challenges. It was and is real.

And then exhale again, this time seeing yourself standing shoulder to shoulder with women all around the world, who are daring enough to give voice to this collective truth that we cannot just keep pushing through:

The ways we’ve been working, living and operating are not working, are not healthy, and honestly, aren’t how things have to be — it’s just how it has been, up until now.

I’ve spent the last decade diving into and researching the core root reasons underneath the burnout and overwhelm, and the rise of disease, anxiety and feelings of isolation in women. I found many which I included in my newest book, Overwhelmed and Over It.

But here are just three eye-openers:

1. We’ve been trying to thrive and succeed in systems and a society built for burnout. Working harder or smarter. Work Life balance and integration. More self care. More focus on productivity. Not solutions. More like band-aids on a dam about to burst.
2. Always pushing forward or just keeping up, we don’t have the energy or space to see we’ve been trapped in rules, routines and structures that are man-made, created by humans, which means as humans we have the power to change them.
3. We have not had the collective power or personal consciousness in generations past to breakthrough. Now we do.

What if now is the moment to stop masking the overwhelm, exhaustion and exasperation that women have hidden and endured for so many years?

Admit that in the last year and the years past, on more than one occasion, we have found ourselves in the throes of a super woman sob?That while we may be great women, we are done trying to be super women, for once and for all — for real.

We women have had enough.

Lasting change always starts with a catalyst — something that breaks apart the old and opens the way for the new.

A catalyst is like lightning.

It illuminates with an almost overbearing light, what has been all around us but which we haven’t been willing or able to see.

It liberates us from what doesn’t serves any longer, cracking apart the roles, structures, patterns, ways of being that need to be shed and let go.

It often rocks us to the core, shaking up our deep primal fears and surfacing our own personal wounds.

Last year was a giant collective catalyst. One that had been brewing for more than a century. Catalysts often seem to come out of nowhere, but usually have been a long time in the making.

Personal catalysts are challenging and often painful.

Collective catalysts don’t play fair or take personal feelings into account, in fact, they often hit those with the most need hardest.

This is not the first nor the last catalyst women will face.
Each generation has a part to play.
We stand in a long lineage of women who too at some point said:

“NO MORE. ENOUGH.”

And changed the course of ‘history’ and created a new reality.

The question is, what will you and I do with our generations catalyst?

1. Contract and go back to what was.

2. Rush in to create a new normal, set up camp quickly, and make just enough change to make things 10% better.

3. Open up our eyes, minds and hearts. Connect. Choose to go deeper within and with each other, with compassion and courage. Choose to embrace our power to create a new reality for ourselves, and the world that finally enables all people and the planet to thrive.

While it will ask more of us, this generation of women — which to me means you are alive and a woman on the planet today — is ready to take all that light and momentum conjured up by the daring women and men before us, join forces with each other, and direct our innate wisdom and power to make shift happen.

To say ENOUGH to the ways of working, living, relating, creating, operating, succeeding and leading that are NOT working for you, or for other people and this planet.

To say NO MORE to anything that does not support sustainability, wholeness, and wellness.

What is your ENOUGH?

• What have you had ENOUGH of?
• What is no longer sustainable for you?
• What is no longer sustainable for this planet or the people on it?

What is your NO MORE?

• What are you a NO to going back to?
• What rules, routines or realities have you yourself created that no longer support, sustain or serve you?

We can choose to do things differently, in our own choices first, and from there create a tidal wave of change that lifts all people and this planet up — but only if we feel supported, sustained and centered.

Where we stand today is like the calm within a storm — if we can find the calm within ourselves. Where the thunder still rolls and the threat of more lightening lurks in the background. But like old deeply rooted oak trees are so entwined with each other and the earth, we may shake a little, but we never fall.

But to be those deeply rooted trees of wisdom for ourselves and others, we need space to settle. Space to take a look around, and assess what’s real, what’s needed, and what we are taking with us going forward.

We are like the butterflies still partly in the cocoon, and all of us at different stages. How we move and go from here matters. Maybe more than most of us can know at this time.

These threshold crossings, metamorphosis, catalytic changes are said to be places to tread lightly, to stay awake and to receive all the support and blessings one can.

Here is my blessing and wisdom for the now and the next:

May we learn from the generations before us that we should never silence our voices or hold back our power.

May we also embrace the wisdom that if we choose to push vs. pace ourselves, we will burnout too fast and not have what’s needed to sustain.

This is a time to pace yourself, to give yourself the space to heal, reset, and re-stabilize.

May you have the courage to look at your own life and boldly make the shifts your soul is calling you to.

May you have the patience to give yourself the runway you need to elevate and expand into possibility beyond what you’ve known before.

May you stay connected to what is real, and stay aware of what’s happening with real people. Say no to fear. Say yes to love. Be okay with uncertainty and not knowing. And step forward one step at a time, trusting what you do know to be true within.

Ask then ask yourself:

1. What support do I need to stay sustained and centered this year?
2. What in one action or one person I can reach out to spark the spiral of support I need?

And then remember:

Your choices define who you are.
Your choices create your reality.
Simple but significant choices make a big difference.

Stay focused on your part.
Believe your part matters.

Support and sisterhood are essential.
Not optional.
Know what you need.
State what you need.
And make choices for how you give and work based on that.

Know that while you will feel at times you are alone.
Know we will walk through this threshold as pioneers, together.
Who can sense there is a better way.
We may not be able to see it.
But together, we can and will reveal and create it.

Even though we may never meet in the flesh,
We are connected at our power center, the fierce feminine heart.
A harmonic alliance of wise women, daring to do it differently, for the benefit of all beings, including ourselves.

Together we have the power to birth the new realities and ways.
Remember, you stand in a lineage of wise women across time.
So you are never ever really alone.

With great heart,
Christine Arylo
March 8, 2021

A lack of self-love is at the root of every challenge and self-sabotaging or self-limiting choice we make. Yet most people don’t truly know what self-love is.

In this post, I wanted to share with you what’s it’s taken me over two decades of study, personal experience, and teaching others to learn and understand about what self-love really is. So you could understand how to use it’s power for yourself, those you love and those you lead.

Fact #1: “Do I Love Myself ?” is not a yes-or-no question.

Most people are strong at making self-loving choices in some ways, and weak in other ways. Your power comes in knowing where you are strong and weak, and then consciously choosing to strengthen your inner foundation vs. focusing on the external desires and realities.

For example…

• You could be a rock star at work, confident and put together, and successful but a mess in your love life. Many professionally successful women over-stayed in toxic, unhealthy relationships.

• You could appear to have lots of self-esteem on the outside but you beat yourself up on the inside. No one sees the negative self-talk, worry, comparison, and judgements that run through your mind.

• You could have healthy relationships with the people in your life, but when it comes to your body, it’s like you’re at war. You neglect it, push it, or treat it like a workhorse.

• You could be settling in your career or life — you can check all the boxes for a good or successful life, but it’s not the life your heart and soul really desires.

• You could be overgiving to everyone else — to your work, family, friends, community — and sacrificing your needs. Overworking, burnout and overwhelm are all signs of a lack of self-love.

Self-love is the foundation of a person’s happiness, health, relationships, career — everything. How strong is your foundation?

Fact #2: If you don’t know where your inner foundation is weak, it’s impossible to to strengthen it.

You will just keep trying to patch the cracks vs. getting to the root. If you can get to the root, and heal and deal with what’s really going on inside your heart, your outside reality changes.

My big wake up to my wobbly inner foundation was almost 20 years ago, when after an unexpected and painful ending of my engagement. The Universe delivered to me a very specific message, “Christine you have self-esteem, but you lack self-love.” I knew this was truth. And I began to see how I almost signed myself up for an unhealthy marriage, and a life I didn’t want. I had been willing to sacrifice my big dreams to keep the love of another.

This wake up call led me to seek help — a therapist, spiritual teachers, guidance beyond what I was learning in my MBA program— but no one could tell me what self-love really was. When I asked, I kept getting these vague answers like “You need to learn to love myself. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself.”

But I wanted to know HOW to love myself, and how to know whether I was doing it well or not. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes again. I wanted to go deeper, to know my heart, so I could stay true to myself in all parts of my life. So I started experimenting with myself. Two decades later, I can share without a doubt that loving yourself s not an achievement you can check off.

Fact #3: Loving yourself is a path, a practice and a choice — not a destination or achievement.

Loving yourself is a choice you make, or don’t, every day and in the bigger choices you make for yourself. There are 10 different kinds of self-love, of which self-esteem is only 1. You need all to be strong to have a strong inner foundation. You need to build this foundation in a way that supports the life you want to create, regardless of what relationship or job you have. And just like the foundation of a house, it needs care and maintenance.

For the past decade, I’ve taught over 35,000 people through bestselling books, and I’ve trained teachers, therapists, coaches, parents, and guides on 6 continents through the social impact organization, The Path of Self Love School, I founded. And what has emerged are real steps to cultivating this strong inner foundation of self.

Fact #4: There are REAL steps to creating a strong self-love foundation for yourself.

• The first step is self-awareness — understanding where you are weak and where you are strong in self-love, so you can strengthen your inner foundation.
• The second step is self-empowerment — choosing to strengthen your self-love by choosing to do things differently.

If we don’t have practical ways to bring self-love into our lives, it will continue to stay a mental concept or cute #hashtag, vs the powerful medicine it is.

Fact #5: If you don’t know how to embody and articulate self-love for yourself, you cannot model it for others, including the children you love.

Which is why 12 years ago I create international Self-Love Day — February 13th — to bring awareness to self-love and make it practical in our daily life. Yes, it is the day before Valentine’s Day on purpose.

Every Self Love Day, people:

1. Take a pause to assess where their self-love is weak and strong, to identify what area of self-love to grow and strengthen this year.
2. Make a promise to themselves — which they will keep all year long — that supports them to strengthen their capacity to make self-loving choices in this area.

I invite you to join us — to reveal where you can grow your inner foundation of self-love, and as a result make shift happen from the inside out in your life. You can take the short self-assessment here or take the Self Love Quiz at www.SelfLoveQuiz.com

5 Signs That You Are Loving Yourself … or Not

(and the Promises You Can Make to Yourself to Love Yourself Better)

Are you:

1. Settling, in any way, for less than your heart and soul desire in your life? Playing small. Letting fear stop you. Sacrificing your dreams. Procrastinating. Listening to conventional wisdom instead of going for the life your heart and soul are craving.

SELF LOVE PROMISE: I promise to never settle for less than my heart and soul desire.

2. Staying in relationships that don’t support you or fully honor you? Relationships that drain you or degrade you, dishonor you in any way. Are you holding on to friends, lovers, or clients who aren’t supporting you to grow or be your best self? Lacking the kinds of friendships you deserve or the right number of soul family members around you?

SELF-LOVE PROMISE: I promise to only have loving, respectful relationships.

3. Being hard on yourself? Criticizing instead of appreciating yourself. Putting pressure on yourself.

SELF-LOVE PROMISE: I promise to be gentle, kind, and compassionate with myself, always.

4. Treating your body poorly? Neglecting it. Treating it like a workhorse or slave. Being mean to it. Hating on it, instead of adoring it and treating it like a temple, even with wrinkles and cellulite.

SELF LOVE PROMISE: I promise to treat my body like a sacred temple.

5. Sacrificing what you really desire and what you need, giving more than you have to give?

SELF-LOVE PROMISE: I promise to take care of and stay true to myself, even if that means disappointing another.

These are all signs that you are not loving yourself. And this is the realm of your self-love foundation. It’s what you most need to focus on this year, making and keeping the promise to love yourself in this way.

How to Strengthen Your Inner Foundation Through Self-Love

1. Choose one area of self-love to grow — choose the one that feels like it will have the most impact on your life this year, the area you really desire to see change in.

2. Make ONE promise that will help you give yourself the love you most need this year. You can use the self-love promises written here or write your own. To learn more about choosing a self-love promise, you can get a free Self-Love Promise Kit here.

3. Write down your promise as an act of committing to it.

4. Write down one small but mighty action you will take this week to keep your promise.

I’ll go first…

PROMISE: I promise to stay true to myself, even if that means disappointing another.

ACTION: I will keep my commitment to always take space for myself after leading a retreat or having a big event. So the day after Self-Love Day, no work! I take the day to replenish and regenerate my life force. Even though I have lots of work to do to get ready for the Path of Self-Love School’s spring semester, I will ask others to support me.

Now it’s your turn..

Christine Arylo, MBA, is the author of Madly in Love with Me and Choosing ME before WE. A women’s leadership adviser, transformational teacher, and bestselling author, she works with people to make shift happen — in the lives they lead, the work they do, and the impact they desire to make. Arylo now hosts the Feminine Power Time podcast (www.FemininePowerTime.com) and is also the founder of the Path of Self-Love School, a social-impact organization dedicated to making the teachings of self-love available to all people, everywhere.

To take the Self Love Quiz, which helps you reveal where your inner foundation is weak and strong, go to www.SelfLoveQuiz.com

5 Signs You Lack Self-Love was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

We had been walking down the streets of Chicago, sharing stories about each other’s previous relationships. Noah’s stories had been short, some sweet, some heartbreaking, and all relatively succinct. I had not noticed that we had walked a good mile or more, and I was still telling tales from my previous engagement to a man who let’s just say, had a temper.

Midway through my MBA, working full time as a marketing consultant, and pretty darn confident, I was sharing story after story. All along, I thought everything I way saying, while somewhat dramatic, was pretty normal.

Just as I was about to launch into another story, Noah stopped dead in his tracks. He just stopped walking. I turned around not knowing what was happening. He was looking at me with this deeply serious expression.

His voice was strong and direct. He said, “Christine, I don’t know what is going to happen here between you and I, but you have to raise your standards for men…

“Men are supposed to be kind to you. Respect is not an upgrade. Respect is mandatory.”

Then complete silence.

I just stood there on that sidewalk feeling like a shockwave had blasted through my body and broken open something inside my subconcious I didn’t even know was there.

“Men are supposed to be kind to me.” I repeated this to myself silently again and again. It was like my mind was trying to take in a foreign language that felt familiar but that it had long ago forgotten.

Noah told me later that as he stood there watching me, my face looked like he had just told me he was an alien from another planet.

In fact, I was in shock. In that moment it was like my life flashed before me. I saw all the ways in which I had allowed myself to be treated by men in a way that was not kind or respectful. I saw how I had been raised to accept rage and unkind words as something that just happened.

I became instantly aware that while I was a very self confident woman with a strong sense of self-worth, I had made choices in my life to stay in romantic relationships with men even when they were unkind. This never happened in my work life or my friendships, just in my romantic relationships.

Eventually Noah woke me out of my internal ephiphany by asking me, “Christine, are you okay? What’s going on in there?”

Even today I can remember looking at this man and thinking, “Thank you. I also don’t know what is going to happen between you and I. But I do know you just changed my life forever.”

That night, when I was alone in my room, I made a promise to myself that I’ve kept ever since, “I only have loving, respectful relationships, period.”

Respect was the mantra that was given to Noah and I some 5 years later by one of our spiritual teachers when we married. And it’s remained a pillar and promise ever since, many years later.

Christine Arylo is a women’s leadership advisor and three time best-selling author, including the book Choosing ME before WE. Noah Martin continues to share his wisdom as a relationship advisor for individuals and couples.

He Told Me I Had to Raise My Standards for Men was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I can’t remember ever spending a New Year’s Eve that made me feel more replenished and ready to begin the year strong and clear. You?

Too often the holiday boost gets us through the first week of January, but by mid month we already feel behind and like we have to hit the ground running at work. And like hamsters who ate too much, we lug ourselves like a rat pack to the gym to sweat off all the weight from the pounds of sugar and fat we’ve ingested.

No where in my training, education or family upbringing did any one ever teach me rituals for completing a year and starting the next that supported and sustained me and set me up for true success until at the age of 33 I sought out a different way. What I learned was:

There is a “different way” to work, operate, create, relate, grow our careers, businesses, families and lives that is really a wiser way…and it starts with how we choose to end and start the year.

Pause instead of pushing on through.

Look back, reflect and gather the wisdom you’ve gained.

Reveal and let yourself feel the impact you’ve made.

Acknowledge how you’ve grown & where you’ve fell short.

Pause to connect what really nourished you this year, so your heart, not your head, so your deeper wisdom not your ego, lights the path ahead.

I call this different way “the Feminine Wisdom Way” for completing and visioning the cycle of a year. Wisdom because it really does show us how we naturally work best as humans. It provides a path for completing and starting the year feeling clear, confident and centered. Feminine because it relies on our feminine power — intuition, receiving, stillness, slowing down before acting — which is not taught or valued highly in our culture or in how most of us design and live our lives, work or family

Regardless of gender, we all have access to this internal feminine power. Without understanding what ‘it’ is and how to work with it, we create realities that burn us out, make us over give and work harder than needed, and make us feel like we’re never doing enough.

Gaining access to my feminine power and wisdom has changed my life, the way I run my business and work, so I stay focused on what matters and what truly has an impact. It’s the path out of overwhelm and burnout. And the path to our fullest expression of power to be the change we wish to see.

As we complete one cycle and start a new year, I was inspired to over the next three weeks share parts of how you can end and start your year differently, rooted in wisdom, guiding you to:

1. Reflect on 2018 — and feel good about all you have done.
2. Complete 2018 — so instead of dragging stuff — drama, relationships, habits — with you that drain you, you only bring the wisdom and stuff that sustains you into the new year
3. Vision 2019 in a way creates spaciousness and intentionality vs. stress or lack of focus.

We’ll start in this post with what I call the Year End “Power Pause.” A power pause is an intentional act to elevate out of your day to day life, to tap into a deeper well of wisdom and gain an expanded level of insight about what is happening in your life, work, health, wealth, and relationships.

Just like smart businesses reflect quarterly, wise leaders (and we are all leaders in our lives) slow down to pause at the natural 4 major shifting points in the year — Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice, and Fall Equinox (which interestingly almost line up with the quarterly system the financial and educational systems run on.)

The year end Power Pause — which is most powerful to do anywhere between Dec 21st and around Dec 31st — is a practice I’ve been doing myself and teaching others for over a decade. What makes it extremely powerful is that it’s not just some coaching thing I made up. It’s based on timeless wisdom passed down for thousands of years that I’ve experienced myself and made practical to how we live and work in modern times.

I’ll share with you here the part of the year end ritual based on “The Wheel of Reflection” which I learned from one of my wisdom teachers, Pele Rouge Chadima, who opened a world of wisdom to me about how the earth naturally works. Why do you want to know this too? Because it’s how we as humans actually work best and one of the most powerful paths to getting out of overwhelm and burnout and creating a career, business, life, family that nourishes you and has the impact you desire.

When you work in harmony with the natural cycles to create and operate, you become empowered to have a larger impact + sustain your own physical and emotional wellness and needs in the process.

Wisdom teaches us to to PAUSE and REFLECT on what has occurred before we start a new year.

What have you accomplished? How have you impacted people’s lives? How have you grown as a person? What was hard? What was joyful? What are you proud of?

If you don’t pause at the end of the year to acknowledge all you have done and become, your brain and body won’t register it’s happened. You will suffer from “Achievers Amnesia” — you forget about how much you have accomplished, grown and given, so you end, start and live the next year feeling like you aren’t doing enough, like you are always behind and like you’ll never have the space to get to what matters most.

When you reflect and receive at the end of the year, what you’ve done registers in your mind and body in a way that doesn’t occur if you don’t pause. Then, feeling grateful and successful on the inside, you gain the power to focus your life force in 2019 on what really matters

Every year, I lead a virtual Power Pause that anyone can attend, which leads you through a 4-part process to reflect and remember what’s been, celebrate all you’ve done, let go of what was hard or fell short, gather up the wisdom and complete the year.

To get you started, here are 4 inquiries I invite you to write down and journal on, or invite a friend to dinner or your partner out for a glass of wine or cup of coffee, to remember and reflect on 2018. Then you’ll be much more likely to start 2019 from a place of strength, clarity and regeneration.

Looking back at 2018 what were the:

1. ONE: SUPRISES: What happened that was unexpected or unplanned? Recall both happenings that were wonderful and supportive, and occurrences that were hard.
2. TWO: SUCCESSES: What are you proud of? What went well? What were the accomplishments, wins, and stretches you met with victory? Recall both things you have done and also ways in which you have grown, shown up and become a stronger, wiser, more fully expressed, loving and conscious version of you. Don’t focus on what wasn’t perfect or up to your high expectations. Give yourself credit for the way you showed up, what you did that mattered to you, how you stretched yourself, and what you are proud of.
3. THREE: SHORTS: What fell short of your expectations or desires?What disappointments or failures happened this year? Losses, disappointments, incompletions, things that fell short of your desire or expectation. Owning these as “shorts” or failures gives you power vs. the failure having the power.
4. FOUR: WISDOM: What knowledge and wisdom have you gained over this past year?Presence new insights, perspectives, beliefs, qualities and understandings you gained this year and now will have for the rest of your life.

To receive the full 2018 Power Pause and Reflection Ritual Wisdom Book & Journal and access to the video and audio recordings that take you through the full process, go to www.SuperPowerPause.com. It’s my gift to you and the world to end the year feeling proud, peaceful and powerful so we can all can show up in 2019 ready and regenerated — with the capacity to be the leaders in our lives, organizations, communities, families and world we came here to be.

Christine Arylo, is a women’s leadership advisor, MBA, social impact entrepreneur and three time best-selling self-empowerment author and speaker. She teaches women around the world how to embody their full presence, power and purpose, so they can lead the way to a better world, and better ways to work and live, in a way that supports and sustains them, vs. sacrifices and drains them. Tune into her weekly podcast, Feminine Power Time on ITunes or your Podcast App, or register here to receive her weekly Wisdom Letters.

The Year End Power Pause: Complete 2018 Feeling Proud, Peaceful & Empowered was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There is a reason we find it so hard to “find balance” or “create work/ life balance.” We are smart women, yet no matter how much sleep we get, or how many productivity strategies we implement or weekly yoga classes we take, we have not solved the elusive search for balance that has plagued women for over 50 years.

And it’s not our fault.

Work/life balance as an equation for success is a faulty equation. It doesn’t have the power to solve the stress, tension and overwhelm we feel and face as women told we can do and have it all.

Like any construct that only has two parts, Work/Life Balance as a measure or a goal creates what is called a “duality reality.”

In duality realities (think of the Democrat/Republican political system), the two forces constantly pull at each other like a tug of war — which is why when it comes to ‘balancing work and life’ you often feel stuck in an internal tug of war. Work is pulling at life. Life is pulling at work. And you get caught in the middle.

Just examine this as an equation for a moment:

work / life

work over life

work divided by life

This equation suggests there are only two parts of us — work and life. So if it’s not work, is everything else supposed to fit under the category of life? No wonder we feel like we don’t have enough time or space; we are trying to stuff everything we care about in one lump sum within 50% of an equation.

Now here is where Feminine Wisdom can elevate the equation and open the possibility for new models and systems…

Wisdom Byte: When you keep running the same faulty equation as a model of success or living, you will keep coming up with the same problems.

In this case, feeling overwhelmed, stretched and burned out? No matter how many green drinks or hours of sleep we get, we can’t break the patterns of burnout and overwhelm.

This is because we are trying to work and live within systems (work, education, healthcare, family, etc.) that were not created for human harmony but were designed to maximize what those in power could take from human potential and effort.

Just take that in for a moment. Think of the industrial revolution, which created education systems that pumped out people to make stuff. Or the market system which led to the corporate systems which at the time were thinking solely on how to grow and be bigger and more. Sustainability and wellness were not part of the equation. It’s the same with most of the systems that created our modern day world.

Which means that it’s not your fault you can’t find balance. Not only is it impossible in these systems — it’s not the way your human system and life functions.

Life isn’t lived on a balance beam (that would be so stressful).

I don’t want to spin plates or juggle balls to keep things balanced.

And nothing in this world can be perfectly balanced 50/50 all the time.

You and I live dynamic lives that are not searching for balance, but seeking to come into harmony.

We need dynamic systems and ways of living and creating that support the WHOLE person, not cut us in half.

So today, I am not here to give you a laundry list of the 10 things you need to do to take care of yourself. You don’t need more information on the what to do.

If we truly want to create systems that support all parts of us, and support humanity to operate at it’s highest potential — not just for profit and for power over others but where all people and beings can thrive — then we need to change the equation.

We each have the power to do that by changing the equations and programs we are running in our own lives. The work/life balance equation has taken us as far as it can. It’s time for an operating system upgrade!

So what is the new equation?

I call it the Feminine Super Power of Harmony.

The Feminine Super Power of Harmony: “The ability to create a rhythm to your life — your days, weeks, months & years — that supports and sustains you and allows you to be graceful, powerful & flexible in how you interact with, lead, and respond to all parts of your life. Your life is like an orchestra. Each part is like a section that together comprises a whole life and self. You are the conductor, and the Divine is the inspiration, energy & tune that plays through you. ”

Just consider that for a moment — what if instead of balancing your life, stretching yourself like an octopus, or performing circus tricks like a juggler or plate spinner, you were the conductor of your life. And just like a conductor, you are aware of all of the parts of your orchestra (family, work, health, wealth, marriage, home, etc) but you don’t try to play them all at the same time, at the same intensity all the time, as loud as you can.

You have the wisdom and the presence to know what needs attention and you have the inner balance to focus on those parts, letting the others play in the background, until it’s time for the music to shift.

The equation: Harmony = Focus + Fluidity = FLOW.

Which would look something like this in your day to day life:

· FOCUS on the parts calling for and in alignment for attention now — and let the others go to a different time and space, or fade into the background, giving them less energy. time and resources.

· Cultivate both the Intuitive Wisdom and Centered Presence to be FLUID — allowing yourself to be informed by the situation and your higher guidance, and making choices from an elevated vision and leadership.

·FLOWING through your life in HARMONY at different paces and rhythms — sometimes your life will feel like staccato — fast. Other times lyrical — lots of space. And sometimes just a good tune — maintaining flow.

No plates. No balls. Spacious. Strong. Centered. Calm. Even when the music gets intense, balanced from the inside, you play the game of life with grace.

I invite you to change your equation. Release the Work/Life Balance equation from your vocabulary and mind. Upgrade your programming to Cultivate Harmony and practice living this way — all great conductors practice and have incredible presence.

To explore more on the Feminine Super Power of Harmony, tune into the special Feminine Power Time Series: Breaking the Myth of Balance with Christine Arylo, feminine leadership advisor, transformational wisdom teacher, best-selling author — To tune in, click here. Or subscribe to the Feminine Power Time podcast on your podcast app or Itunes.

Forget Work/Life Balance — It’s an Impossible Equation & What to Do Instead was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Just like a mean girl on the playground, she could make me feel left out, lonely and like I didn’t belong. Or like the mean girls I had encountered in my corporate career, manipulative and competitive, my Inner Mean Girl loved to drive me to work really hard (to the point of exhaustion), compare me to people who are ‘farther ahead,’ and make me keep adding more to my already full plate.

All women have an Inner Mean Girl that makes her feel like she’s never doing enough, being a good enough mom/writer/entrepreneur/artist/you-name-it, or getting far enough ahead. The result?

We women (and so our girls) have become bullies to ourselves. #bekindtoyou

Your Inner Mean Girl is the pushy, sometimes critical, force within that fills your head with negative or obsessive thoughts. She drives you to make choices that sabotage you, instead of support you, using harsh, but very effective, tactics to do so. Toxic habits like: over-working, over-thinking, over-giving, comparison, perfectionism, procrastination, busyness (the list goes on…, sound familiar?)

Self-bullying is one of her jobs. Self bullying is the act of pushing, pressuring, judging, and criticizing yourself to do, feel and think in ways that hurt or sabotage you.

Since discovering my Inner Mean Girl, I’ve worked with over 30,000 women around the world, through The Path of Self Love School I founded, along with and found 13 types of Inner Mean Girls specific to women and girls, including: The Doing Addict, The Good Girl, The Perfectionist, The Worry Warts and more.

You can’t stop these negative self talking, self bullying inner forces from showing up — especially in times of stress, uncertainty, and vulnerability, but you can befriend and reform them so they stop sabotaging and start supporting you.

The first step in transforming negative self talk and self bullying is self-awareness — becoming aware that you have this inner force within you forming your thoughts, emotions and actions.

It’s not a ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ force, in fact it’s trying to protect you. But it is a destructive and sabotaging force.

The protection mechanisms the sabotaging part of you uses don’t work because they based on the emotions and consciousness this part of you sparked into existence — usually before the age of 11.

So what do you do, since you can’t get rid of it, kill it, suppress it or ship it off to Siberia?

Once you become self-aware, the next step is to begin seeing the self sabotaging habits and the negative self talk, and then making different choices that support you. It’s all about choosing self-love — compassion, acceptance, empowerment, trust- over self criticism, self doubt, self sacrifice and fear.

Learning to work with this inner force takes time, just like anything. But there is a path. In the book Reform Your Inner Mean Girl,we lay out the 7 steps to transform the self bullying.

For starters, here are some simple but mighty ways you can stop the self-bullying, depending on how your Inner Mean Girl likes to torment and sabotage you.

My suggestion is to read through these and just choose ONE or TWO that you will try out in your daily life — don’t just read the list, choose a simple way to empower yourself to DO your life differently.

As you read through just notice which ones ‘sparkle’ ‘zing’ make you go ooohhh or just sound good. Write it down somewhere you can see it and then try it when the situation arises. Self awareness then empowered action!

1. Transform comparison into inspiration. What you see in others also exists within you, it’s just not fully expressed, yet. When your Inner Critic compares you, making you feel inferior, instead get inspired. First, see want you want to express. Then reach out and tell that person they inspire you!

2. Don’t strive for perfection, just do enough. When you can’t stop yourself from doing more, stop and ask, “What would enough look like?” and just do enough. Then enjoy all the extra space you created for yourself.

3. Instead of pushing yourself forward, love yourself forward. Your Inner Mean Girl thinks being critical will motivate you. Guess what? She’s wrong. Compassion motivates. Next time you judge yourself, imagine a child learning to do something new, what would you say to them? Tell yourself those compassionate words.

4. Stop piling more onto your plate. Practice saying NO. When you feel pressured to say “Yes,” like you ‘should’ or ‘have to’ — breathe, and respond “No.” Then tell your Inner Mean Girl that saying No leaves space for someone else to shine.

5. Find evidence of how much you’ve done and how awesome you are. Kick your Achievers Amnesia by making a list of 5 things you’ve accomplished recently, and 5 things you love about yourself. Read these over and over and soak them in.

6. Find the desire under the pressure. Usually when you are pressuring yourself to be farther ahead, it’s because you desire something, so your Inner Mean pushes you to get ‘there.’ Find the desire and ask, “What is the next step?” Just do that.

7. Learn what triggers your Inner Mean Girl and be prepared for her attack. Know what your top inner critic “hot spot” is — does she show up in your career, relationships, with your body or money? When you get afraid or stressed in this area, remember it’s your Inner Mean Girl attacking, it’s not your truth.

8. Let your Inner Mean Girl rant. Stop repressing the self-bullying and say or write out what negative self talk your Inner Mean Girl is filling your head with, so you can see just how crazy the thoughts are. Then, next time you have that thought, you’ll know you’re having an “Inner Mean Girl Attack.”

9. Create a stronger relationship with your Inner Wisdom. In moments of fear or uncertainty, take a breath, put your hand on your heart, and ask yourself, “What does my Inner Wisdom know?” This is your truth.

10. Out your Inner Mean Girl to a friend, and get support during Inner Mean Girl attacks. When you are in the grips of your Inner Mean Girl and her fear, stress and criticism, it’s hard to shake her off — you need a “LOVE LINE.” Call a friend, tell her you are under Inner Mean Girl attack, let your Inner Mean Girl rant and then ask your friend to tell you what her Inner Wisdom knows.

Most of all, know you aren’t alone with this struggle. And remember that you’re at choice as to whether you bully or befriend yourself.

Christine Arylo, MBA and feminine leadership advisor, is the best-selling co-author of Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself & Start Loving Yourself. (www.InnerMeanGirlBook.com) based on the internationally acclaimed program Inner Mean Girl Reform School and the founder The Path of Self Love School that has helped over 30,000 women and girls transform their inner critics and empower their inner wisdom.

To find out what kind of Inner Mean Girl is sabotaging you — Doing Addict, Good Girl, Perfectionist, or…, take the free and fun Inner Mean Girl quiz at www.InnerCriticQuiz.com

10 Ways to Stop Negative Self Talk and “Self-Bullying” was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Every day you have tens of thousands of thoughts run through your mind. The vast majority of them are negative. And too often, that negativity is directed at the one person who deserves it least — you.

It’s okay to admit, you are harder on yourself than anyone else could be, most of us are.

We beat ourselves up for all the things we think we should do better, should be able to get done in a day, should be able to figure out.

We blame yourself and judge ourselves way more than you acknowledge and appreciate ourselves.

Honestly, if this was our romantic relationship vs the relationship with ourselves, we’d have moved out a long time ago! The challenge is we can’tm move out of our own minds.

In my feminine leadership and women’s empowerment work and through the Path of Self Love School I founded, I’ve worked with over 20,000 women around the world regarding what some call the inner critic or saboteur, but we call “the inner mean girl” — because she’s personal, she lives within in us, and we need to learn to work with her and love her (this force never goes away, but we can give it new job, refocus the energy and become more self aware.)

Girls and women from six to eighty six, from all backgrounds, races, and social statuses when asked and when honest admit how incredibility critical they were of themselves, how much pressure they put on themselves, and how little compassion and forgiveness they were able to give to themselves.

And honestly because I, a woman bred to have a high self-esteem, be a great achiever and climb career ladders in a single bound, never even considered self-compassion as valuable as self-esteem, until I realized what not having it was costing me — my happiness.

We are in the midst of a self-criticism epidemic and a self-compassion drought. #bekindtoyourself

Be nice to others. We’ve been taught that since the first grade.

Be compassionate to people who are sick, less fortunate, or going through difficult life problems? Of course.

But direct the loving energy of compassion and forgiveness towards yourself, everyday — forget about it!

But here’s the truth we didn’t get taught in grade school or graduate school:

Your personal wellness is directly correlated to your levels of self-compassion: high self-compassion equals more happiness, lack self-compassion and watch your happiness drop.

You more than anyone are counting on you to be there with open arms, offering compassion and forgiveness without condition. #selfcompassion

You are counting on yourself to love yourself. And loving yourself doesn’t just mean believing you can do and be anything, it requires you to be kind, gentle and compassionate with yourself always, even when you fail, fall behind or don’t measure up to the unrealistic standards you and society has set for yourself.

How do you do that? That’s the question I asked myself too, as I seemed to have missed the class on self-compassion in all my years of academic study. It wasn’t until I began my spiritual study that the answers came.

I’ve learned a lot about self-compassion in the last decade, including that compassion is something you have to CHOOSE. Self compassion is a choice and a practice, and the more you practice, the stronger those self love muscles become, and when times get tough you will be able to choose kindness instead of criticism and patience instead of pressure.

In my feminine wisdom teachings, I call this activating your Feminine Super Power of Compassion. Just like Wonder Woman has her super powers and trains for the big days, here are three practices you can put into play in your daily life:

1. Transform Comparison into Inspiration — Comparison is the #1 toxic habit of your Inner Mean Girl (or Inner Mean Guy for men). When that voice starts comparing you to another person, to who you used to be, or to who it thinks you should be, stop and ask yourself, “What is inspiring to me about this person? What are the doing/being/having that I’d like to have in my life too?” Then, and here’s the daring part, you have to reach out to that person — either right there on the spot live or via email, phone or even Facebook or Twitter — and tell them what you appreciate about them! Then, and here’s the self-compassionate part, instead of copying them exactly, take the thing you admired and add your own essence to it. There is only one you, and the world is counting on your unique expression.
2. Do the Compassion Stream — You have to interrupt the mean with the feeling of love at a HEART level before you mind will relent and release. So stop, drop, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and take a deep breath (this activates your parasympathetic nervous system and your neutral mind, the realm of your Inner Wisdom.) As if you were talking to a best friend who was being hard on themselves, as yourself “What do I need to hear right now?” And with your hand on your heart, say those words to yourself, until you feel a “compassion click” — the energy of compassion getting into your heart so you can take the pressure off. If you are a loss for words you can try this self compassion mantra “I’m doing the best I can, and it’s enough.” or “If I knew better I would have done better.”
3. Dial a Love Life Line — Sometimes when you’re really feeling like crap about yourself, and you just can’t find the compassion no matter how hard you try, you have to call in special outside forces. This is the time for “dialing into love” and getting some large quantities of it flowing to you pronto. Call up a person who you trust and who is good at giving love and follow these three steps: 1. Out yourself and your inner critic. Say “My Inner Mean Girl/Guy is going crazy and telling me XXX.” Just let it rant. 2. Ask them to tell you three kind, compassionate and heartfelt things about you. 3. Listen and receive those great things from them, say thank you, write these love lines down on a piece of paper and carry the compassion medicine around with you for the rest of the day.

Remember, when you fail, falter, or feel less than perfect, turn your attention to unconditional love to lift yourself up. It’s time to give yourself one of the most essential kinds of love you can give yourself — self-compassion. #loveyourself

To learn more about what kind of Inner Mean Girl you have, take the free Inner Critic Quiz at www.InnerCriticQuiz.com

Christine Arylo, MBA, is a women’s leadership advisor, three-time best selling author and transformational teacher who guides women to embody their fierce grace, feminine wisdom and authentic presence to live, lead and succeed the feminine way — successful and sustainable. Check out her world recognized podcast series, Feminine Power Time, at www.FemininePowerPodcast.com or at www.ChristineArylo.com

Be Nice To Yourself was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.