Everyone had to learn to live without things in 2020. Without working together in the same space. Without open schools. Without work. Without travel. Without good health. Without help or care.

The most heart-wrenching, in my opinion, is being without a loved one at the end of their life.

The news reports of people dying in hospitals with a nurse holding a phone up for their family to be present only over Zoom or Facetime got me every time. Every time. How was this possible in 2020?

My Dad, “Buzzy,” or “Buzz” to me, passed away in July at age 86.

He was one of my favorite humans, and the 1,000+ photos of him on my phone would confirm my love. The sweetest, kindest man who never complained and was always the positive, encouraging light in my life; in many lives. He always had a compliment to give — noticing a new dress or haircut. He loved attending every live event with me — from Welcome America to the Army/Navy Game. He loved hearing about my work schedule each week at Sunday dinner, and giving me stock tips that he heard from Cramer on Mad Money. His voice is set on my Waze to give me directions, so he’s always riding shotgun.

About 12 years ago, Buzz started to shuffle while walking. After many tests that he hated (the only thing I ever heard him complain about) we discovered he had many mini strokes over his life, which led to a form of dementia. Add to it chronic kidney disease, and it all led to a bad quality of life in the months leading up to his passing. Each time I saw Buzz I thought it could be the last; and was slowly mourning my Dad while he was alive for more than a decade.

Throughout it all my Mom, Barbara, was Buzz’s fearless caregiver. She took great care of him so they could remain independent. Aside from some support from Veteran Affairs, she refused any help until the very end, which caused her countless sleepless nights and added stress on her. And him.

Last December, Buzz’s doctor said it would be best if we put him on hospice. I remember hearing that word for the first time. Hospice in my mind = immediate death. I sobbed uncontrollably for days. What I didn’t know was hospice can go on for months (eight in Buzz’s case), and it unlocks some of the most amazing caregivers on earth. Angels.

Month after month, Buzz would hang on; at times he would really rally. We met for dinner each week at Not Your Average Joe’s — his favorite for pizza and margaritas.

And then COVID hit.

During this time, I Facetimed my parents every day for about an hour to talk about nothing really. My Mom was still trying to figure out how to work her iPhone, so I finally sent her a mini tripod. That way, she could leave the room when my Dad and I caught up, and I could stop looking at the ceiling with my Mom in the background for the entire conversation.

We watched music videos (Let it Go by Idina Menzel and I Need You Now by Lady A were Buzz’s favorites). I would virtually take them on beach walks with me to see the sunset. We chatted over dinner. I actually felt pretty connected to them.

In preparation for a dreaded call from the hospice nurse about my Dad’s imminent death, I did not see anyone nor go anywhere for four months. Only deliveries by Instacart. That way, when I got the call, I could safely go in and not be a risk to my Mom or the staff.

On three separate occasions we got notified by a hospice nurse that it was time to come see Buzz as they thought it was end of life. The final call came on a Wednesday, when the hospice nurse said, “You should come today, and come sooner rather than later.” I was two hours away and called my sister, Jen, to tell her to meet me there. Our other sister, Soozie, lives in Florida and Jen was keeping her posted along the way.

When we arrived, Buzz was not doing well, but Jen insisted we get him out of bed, and he loved the sound of that. We lifted his 5'11", 90-pound body into his wheelchair and rolled him to the table where we ate a little bit of everything he loved. His four favorite food groups: hotdogs, Peeps, tiramisu cake, and beer. He then recorded short videos to every person he loved.

Immediately after, he asked to get back in bed. His retirement community’s protocols said we were supposed to leave after our visit. But there was no way we were going to let Buzz and Barb go through this alone.

Like a stowaway from those Love Boat episodes of my youth, I decided to hide out in my parents’ apartment. For three days. Yes, I would hide in the bathroom or closet when anyone would come.

Buzz was hallucinating at times saying he wanted to go through a window, while pointing to a closet door. The hospice nurse, who knew I was making a compassion care visit would come in to take care of him as I slept in a mask in the bed next to him. My Mom got some well-deserved sleep that she hadn’t had in nine months.

That Friday, intense pain took hold of my Dad, and the hospice nurse came to show me how to provide medication overnight. I stayed up all night giving Buzz medicine that made him comfortable while my Mom slept. We listened to music with a beautiful Zen vibe, which my Mom did not love, but kept Buzz in the right mindset. I cannot imagine if my Mom had to tend to him alone on the last night of his life.

It was Saturday, July 11, Jen’s birthday. A couple weeks before, Buzz had told me he couldn’t wait for the four of us to be together to celebrate his birthday. He envisioned there was a cake, and we’d all sing Happy Birthday. I now realize this is the birthday party he was talking about. We sang Happy Birthday to Jen, surrounding Buzz in bed, tears rolling down the three of our faces.

Later in the day, Jen was in the living room laying on the couch looking out the window. She opened the window as it started to rain, and then about an hour later the sun came out, and we could hear the birds chirping. I went to Buzz’s room to open the window, and let in some fresh air. I laid down, played his two favorite songs, and slowly watched my Dad’s breaths get further and further apart.

I got up, walked over to the bed, and called my sister in. We stood around the bed watching his breath slow for a couple of minutes. We looked at each other, knowing this is the end. We called Mom into the room. And maybe two breaths later, Buzz was gone.

The hospice nurse came back, and said, “Oh, I’m so glad somebody opened the window. A lot of people are looking for a way out — for their soul to fly.” I absolutely believe this is true and happened for my Dad.

My heart absolutely breaks for all of the families whose loved ones died without them by their sides in 2020, and at other times. We were incredibly lucky as this happened at the time during COVID when restrictions were lifted slightly, and he was not in a hospital but a private apartment. We had a perfect small cemetery funeral with the people we love by our sides — actually 6 feet apart wearing masks. We had Shiva in Jen’s yard where we were surrounded by people who meant the most to us and shared our love and laughter of sweet Buzz.

If this experience with Buzz taught me one thing, it’s that no technologies nor processes for elder care or longevity can replace the human element. Nothing mattered except Buzz.

I feel so grateful to go through this experience with my Mom and sisters (and that we’re actually still talking to each other). Feel lucky to have the privilege to work remotely for an understanding company with empathetic coworkers who are like family. And supported by caring friends (including my parents’ friends) and the kindest boyfriend on the planet.

The end of life is magical, and I am so grateful to have been there during the last days of Buzz’s life. By his side, in-person, fully in the moment. These were the most meaningful days of my entire life. My wish is that everyone can have this same experience when the time comes; for you and your loved ones.

Thanks to the team at Pivotal Ventures, The Holding Co., and my Mom and Sister for encouraging me to share this very personal story with you about the most meaningful days of my life. I hope you’ll share your own experiences in the comments.

HEY SIRI: Set 6 Personal Reminders for 2020

2020; the year that used to seem so far away is here, and with it comes a clearer 20/20 vision of what truly matters in life. This year, I’m asking Siri to set these six weekly personal reminders:

1. Visit Your Favorite People. Spend quality time with the people who you can lift up, and those who do the same when you need it most. Your family who loves your Sunday visits. New and old trusted friends who have your back and make you laugh until you cry. A former boss or mentor who may need a reminder of the influence she or he had on your career. Per #3 below, tell them how much you appreciate them. Treat each visit as if it’s your last. You just never know when it will be.
2. Listen Up. Slow down and listen intently to what others are saying (and, as importantly, not saying) during your time together. Soak up the learnings from your teenage niece or a futurist you heard at a conference. Be patient, take your time, introspect, and then make necessary contributions to conversations. Or store important lessons away for when you plan to make key changes in your life.
3. Give Gratitude. Be grateful for the things we often take for granted. The ability to walk to work, sing Prince’s Purple Rain at live band karaoke, see an amazing sunset in Costa Rica or hear the busy sounds of Philadelphia. The strength to workout, go for a bike ride on the boardwalk or hike in the Wissahickon. The luxury of eating too much bread, sleeping in a comfortable bed, or taking a warm shower with lavender body wash. To drive an hour to Longport for a hand-in-hand walk to soak up the sun. The opportunity to work with kind people on interesting things that can make a positive impact on people’s lives.
4. Stay Curious + Collaborative. Your superpower is connecting the non-obvious. Keep asking unexpected questions, spark serendipity, and encourage others to try new approaches and innovations. Seek out and learn from a diverse range of people who value your contributions and fuel your soul. Connect, cultivate and inspire a positive ethos across your ecosystem; both personal and professional.
5. Amplify Your Inner Voice. Follow your instincts and ask for what you need, such as time by yourself for #6 below, or to explore your latest entrepreneurial curiosity in #4. Focus on what matters most and share your insights to make the greatest impact on others. Be brave and bold, for yourself, for those listed in #1 above, and for the underdogs you cheer.
6. Travel Anytime You Can. Bring a fresh, positive energy that can lift others wherever you go. Your mind and body also recharge in new environments (okay, mostly on warm beaches but also possible fireside) so it’s important you travel. Go solo or bring new people along for the ride.

Happy New Year. These are my personal reminders for 2020. Hope you’ll be inspired to add your own reminders in the comments or just let Siri know.

This year, the many people in my life who are leaping to something new; or supporting those who take that leap of faith are my inspiration, each and every day.

And yes, while they are all fearful, scared, nervous — just as you may be about a change in your life — I hope you will always remember: “You are braver than you believe; stronger than you seem; smarter than you think.” And Christopher Robin told Pooh that, so it must be the truth.

Here are 7 Fearless Wishes for you to jump into 2017:

1. You’re never too old for a change. My parents just moved into a retirement community after 45 years in the same house. They still had time to celebrate New Year’s Eve with their best friends, and were able to hit the dance floor. I wish them happiness, healthiness, and some well-earned relaxation after a stressful move, and a lifetime of dedication to their family. I wish them many more years of bantering at each other, and calling me to talk about nothing or what they ate for dessert.

2. You’re never too young to take credit for your mistakes. Or achievements. My brilliant nieces are teens now and causing my sister a few more grey hairs than she’d appreciate. I wish them continued confidence, but also safe and healthy decisions. And smart social media senses. It’s okay to fail, as long as they don’t blame others for their mistakes. And when they succeed, I hope they take the credit they deserve. I hope they stay true to themselves, and have each other’s backs. They’ll need each other when their parents (and Aunt D!) move into a retirement community.

3. Your gender is no obstacle. If 2016 taught us one thing, it’s this. I wish that the entire buzz around the election lit a fire in every girl, young and old, to go after anything they want. Win or not, you’re in this game. I’m especially excited to watch the female founders rock it in 2017. Yasmine. Julie. Kristin. Denelle. Kelly. Katlyn. LeLe. Isabella. Prasanna, plus the other amazing women I met in cities across the U.S., and in Tel Aviv and London.

4. You will fly when it’s time, and land on your feet. To my partner in crime J-FLY. I wish you incredible success in your next career path, helping startups to soar, and know your new ventures will spark your creativity even brighter. Oh, and I wish for many more blueberry pancake breakfasts sitting on the lanai, made in my new kitchen. Life’s just better with you by my side at cocktail parties.

5. You should love what you do, and it should make a difference. To the amazing team at Comcast NBCUniversal and our partners who make good things happen like the Tomorrow Tour. (Tweed, Technical.ly, 20/10, Replica). I’m certain we’ll have a lot of fun — and deliver results — working alongside each other. Let’s score some big wins for our companies and communities in 2017; especially for our hometown of Philadelphia.

6. You must stay focused on your customers. To the 1,000+ entrepreneurs I’ve had the pleasure to meet in the last year in Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Boulder, Chicago, Denver, Detroit, Los Angeles, Miami, Milwaukee, New York, Philadelphia and San Francisco, you keep me open-minded and inspired. You are our customers. I wish that by amplifying your stories, you will push your own limits, make your products even better, and discover new innovations. Just remember that your first customers can be much more important than raising your first round.

7. “You rise by lifting others.” My favorite quote by Robert Ingersoll is going to keep me focused for 2017, as we build our first accelerator and resource center for entrepreneurs in Philadelphia in the new Comcast Technology Center.

I wish for everyone to pay it forward this year, and help people — all kinds of people, especially those who look or sound nothing like you — to soar a little higher. And may 2017 be more fearless for you and yours.

This is an excerpt from remarks given by my beautiful sister Jennifer Isayev to her daughter, Leah, on her Bat Mitzvah, June 6, 2016, at Temple Shalom in Broomall, PA.

Today is my sister’s birthday. I gave her a handmade, brass kaleidoscope because I cannot imagine another person in my entire life who has extracted the most light out of me, and everyone around her. She continues to teach me to find the beauty, the good, in every soul.

“As I was thinking of a blessing for you today, I kept going back to an image of a kaleidoscope, and also to the Yom Kippur discussion in this room about what is a soul.

On the outside, a kaleidoscope can be plain, it can be ornate. On the inside it is amazing. It has objects, usually of many beautiful colors and mirrors for amazing reflections. But, to see the beauty of a kaleidoscope someone needs to pick it up. Someone needs to look inside, and even if someone looks inside they may not see its many colors until they hold it up to the light. Even then they may not know to turn the kaleidoscope to watch it change. Using the same materials over and over it continues to change. Each kaleidoscope has its own color combinations, movement, and rhythm that is unique.

I feel like this is how I would describe a person’s soul. You cannot always see it directly. It is the interplay of what is inside. It is often only seen indirectly through reflection and interconnection with other people.

Two people in this room have gone above and beyond to help us get to this day more smoothly. Look into the souls of your two grandmothers: Nana (Barbara) and Babushka (Maya). They are two very different people, but what is common in their kaleidoscopes is caring, generosity, and love for you and their family. They both went above and beyond in their own way to help you and me get to this day successfully. We can learn a lot from them. Thank you, Babushka and Nana.

Since I’ve known you a long time, and we have spent a good amount of time together, I feel like I have seen your soul. I have seen your colors. I have seen your movement. I have seen your reflection, and I have seen your connection to others. I love what I see. I love when I see you interacting with others around you. Your joy that you bring with you everywhere is contagious.

As you enter your teenage years, be sure your kaleidoscope is well-oiled, filled with all aspects of yourself (the joyful and the serious), and be sure you are shared with others in the sunlight.”

One of my core professional and personal values is to collaborate and help lift others, but that takes attention and time. Living in a tech-centered world (both at work and in life) it’s easy to get distracted by outside influences, opinions and priorities that can ultimately guide you off-track and waste your valuable time.

So I’ve been regularly asking myself one question that’s been pinned to my Twitter feed for months: “How can I deliver more value to more people in less time, so I can have more time to do what matters most to me?”

While I wrote this list to jumpstart my more productive 2016, I hope it’s valuable to you, too:

🕐 Set up solid distribution lists for regular communications. Write proactive updates to key stakeholders and FAQs for anything you answer more than twice.

🕑 Revisit and nourish your personal and professional board of directors.

🕒 Keep meetings to a focused 30 minutes and take immediate action on followup items.

🕓 Offer regular office hours for those who wish to pitch you or pick your brain.

🕔 Be strategic with social media; stick to channels with the greatest traction that bring you joy. LinkedIn and Twitter are my channels of choice.

🕕 Spend time on relationships, tasks and meetings where you see the greatest results.

🕖 Block not optional “Do It!” head’s down time.

🕗 While you’re at it, block not optional “Workout!” time for Yoga, Zumba, Elliptical, biking, whatever. Take the steps more often, walk to/from work.

🕘 Celebrate your free time and spend it with the people you admire, laugh out loud with, sing and dance with, and love to be around. Then get enough rest.

🕙 Never forget that your time has professional and personal value to you and others.

I also asked some of my friends, family and colleagues the same question, but apparently most didn’t have the time to respond. Here’s what three had to say; I’ll add more later and hope you’ll add your own comments.

🕐 My 12-year-old niece @leahisayev said, “Can you water that question down for me?” 😂

🕑 My friend and colleague Kristin Dudley said: “What’s important for me to be more effective all around is actually to get more sleep, see more art, and care more for my body. If I’m in best balance, I can do more in a smarter way.” Amen.

🕒 My sister @jenisayev a mom, wife, audiologist and my biggest reality check/critic said: “What kind of value? You trying to be all things to all people? Your last blog was better.”

Hope this brought you some value. Happy New Year!

You’ll find me strategically Tweeting @DanielleCohn

Today I celebrate the 21st anniversary of my 21st birthday with 21 mini gifts to you and the daughters, nieces, sisters and other awesome ladies in your life.

21 Tips to Sparking Serendipity: Notes to my 21-Year-Old Self

1. Know what you like and don’t like. Say it out loud. Always follow your gut. 🔥

2. Jump in with two feet. Do not look back. Your past is your past. Today is a new day and it’s yours for the making.🚀

3. You are not an option and anyone who treats you as if you are, clearly does not like you or love you. Stop trying, making excuses, and move on.🔚

4. Friends come in all shapes, sounds, sizes and colors. Surround yourself with fun, ambitious, positive, healthy ones who lift you up, and feel blessed to have so many; not everyone is as lucky. 🍀

5. You have more than you will ever need. Pay it forward to family, friends, colleagues or total strangers. Be generous and be thankful. 🙏

6. Exercise is essential to your mind, body and spirit. Go to the gym. Ride that bike. Try Zumba. Walk to work. Invest in comfortable shoes (but always have heels on hand). 🚴

7. You will fail. Just fail faster the second or third time. 🙅

8. Smart is sexy. Scientists are sexy. Conversationalists are super sexy. So are international race car drivers. 🇬🇧

9. You never know who lives next door or under your window. And remember they see and hear everything.👂

10. Convertibles are a wise investment. Solid transportation, fresh air, and a top down to mental freedom. 🙌

11. It’s okay to be sad for a month because your dog died. It’s okay to be sad about anything that makes you sad. 🐶😢

12. Invest in a comfortable bed in case you want to stay there all weekend. 💤

13. Online dating can be a total waste of time. Go out and meet people in person. Chemistry happens in the moment not through your phone.💑

14. Always wear protection. Sunburn still hurts.😡

15. Never underestimate the power of an excellent bartender. Do not date him. 🍸

16. Be kind to others — especially strangers. You will need it one day. 🙈🙉🙊

17. Dance and sing like nobody’s watching. And if they are, pull out a red boa and go crazy. 💃

18. No one is completely balanced. The sooner you discover yoga the better. Even if you are the worst student in the class. namaste. 💆

19. Superman is not real, or may just be hiding under the kryptonite.🔶

20. It’s normal to crave happiness and to do whatever it takes to find it. Even if you look forever. 😄

21. Serendipity can be sparked; it’s not always a happy accident. You create your life’s path. 😊