As I have become a parent over the past few years, I have gained an appreciation for those who have come before me. My wife, Eryn, and I became foster parents in 2019. We fostered sisters, who were five and two when they came to us, for a year and half before they were reunified with their birth father. Since then, we have had two biological children, Lucas who is three and Lillian who is one. Two months ago, we became foster parents again to a one-year-old boy named Kyheem. Through our time as foster parents, I have seen first-hand the results of broken families but have gained a perspective on what creates successful and healthy people. We are all a product of the decisions our parents and grandparents make. We reap what they have sown in our lives. I am grateful for my grandmother Carol, my grandfather Bob, and the grace of God for the faithful and devoted lives they lived.

A couple examples of their relationship stick out to me. In 2010, when our family arrived in Pennsylvania to celebrate Christmas, Grandma Carol slipped and fell on the stairs outside her house and broke the bone in her upper arm. After a trip to the emergency room, she was given instructions to rest, which was easier said than done. Sleep resulted in discomfort, and she frequently moved to the living room where a rocking chair provided a better option than her bed. My grandfather, or Pop as he was known by his grandchildren, would soon emerge from the bedroom to start a fire for Grandma and sleep nearby in case she needed anything. Pop was committed to caring for his wife.

Only a handful of years later I was able to witness this level of commitment reciprocated. As Pop’s Alzheimer’s worsened and his memory faded, Grandma Carol was there every step of the way sacrificing herself for the care of her husband. Pop feared and was paranoid that he would end up in a nursing home, but he had nothing to worry about. His wife was committed to caring for him in his final years.

These stories show their commitment as I have seen it through my own eyes, but for me the most tangible legacy of my grandparents is through my father. My father has sacrificed his time and personal goals to ensure my sibling’s and I’s success. From being an active leader in Boy Scouts, to patiently teaching me how to solve problems, to helping me understand finances as I bought my first car, there is no doubt the person I am today is directly attributed to the legacy of faithfulness in parenting that flows through my grandma and Pop. We named our daughter Lillian, Carol’s mother’s name, to preserve this legacy and to point our children to the people that sacrificed before them.

The hardest part of my grandmother’s passing is that my children are too young to remember the time they had with her. I was talking with my father-in-law this past week and he mentioned that his mother passed away when my wife and her sister were around the same age of our kids. My wife Eryn responded that she feels like she remembers her grandma well. From stories shared by her whole family, Eryn had heard so much about her grandma that her memory was well formed. Our children will remember their great grandmother through the stories we tell and the legacy she has left.

Our children will know my grandmother’s legacy of marital devotion and faithfulness by the way Eryn and I are committed to loving and serving each other for the rest of our lives.

Our children will know my grandmother’s devotion to Jesus’ Church by our commitment to be faithful members of his Church.

Our children will know my grandmother’s faithfulness to her family by how we raise them and guide them through the challenges they face.

We will encourage our children to take risks and follow their dreams and passions in the same way their grandmother did before them.

We will encourage our children to be bold like their grandmother. Whether discussing her faith in Jesus or a political opinion, my grandmother was always willing to share and explain what she believed. We will aspire to the gentle, compassionate, and loving way that she lived her life and related to others.

Finally, and most importantly, we will work to model the faith my grandmother had. Tired after a long life she was desperate in her last years to meet Jesus. We will model this faith to our children by going wherever God calls us to go, doing whatever he calls us to do, and sacrificing whatever he calls us to sacrifice.

I thank God for the life and legacy of my grandmother. I thank God for his grace and for his forgiveness. That we as sinners can live fruitful lives if we seek his guidance through the Holy Spirit and trust in only the name of Jesus for our salvation.

I will conclude with Psalm 112.

Praise the Lord.

Blessed are those who fear the Lord,

who find great delight in his commands.

Their children will be mighty in the land;

the generation of the upright will be blessed.

Wealth and riches are in their houses,

and their righteousness endures forever.

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,

for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.

Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,

who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;

they will be remembered forever.

They will have no fear of bad news;

their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;

in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,

their righteousness endures forever;

their horn will be lifted high in honor.

The wicked will see and be vexed,

they will gnash their teeth and waste away;

the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

After being in our care for sixteen months the girls were reunified with their birth father in October 2020. Bittersweet is the first word everyone throws out when they ask how we are feeling, and I feel it is the best way to describe it. We are extremely happy that the girl’s father was able to work through his case plan and leave no shadow of a doubt that reunification was the best path forward. We are also sad and empty that our family of 5 has shrunk to 3 overnight. Thankfully, we are planning to continue to stay in touch to support the girls and their father, so it is just a change in our relationship with them, not an end to it.

When I think about our experience doing foster care, I have to separate it into micro and macro views. From a micro point of view, it was an all-consuming struggle. Our days consisted of carrying little girls out of restaurants throwing temper tantrums, getting screamed at “I HATE YOU” when someone didn’t get their way and having to sit inside a bedroom at night blocking the door while a little girl took everything out of her closet and threw it all over the room because she didn’t want to go to bed. While knowing we were doing what God called us to do, I had to question whether this was something I wanted to do.

Stepping back now and looking at our experience in foster care from a macro point of view, it is the most satisfying and fulfilling accomplishment of my life. We were able to see a five-year-old transform her identify from “I am a bad person, and I am always going to be bad” to a star student in her class and someone who in confident in her value and worth. Magically all the struggles and stressful days are now overshadowed in my memory by the joyful and sweet times that we had with the girls.

Understanding life with the appropriate perspective is a reality deeply rooted in us. Jesus, as the ultimate example, left His place in heaven to come down to suffer and die to redeem His creation from our sins. No one has struggled and suffered more, and no one has been exalted and glorified more in their suffering. As Christians, we are commanded to do the same thing.

“Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.” 1 Peter 4:1–2

Being a foster parent is very difficult. The days are tough and long. Relationships can end at any moment. Uncertainty is a never-ending reality.

Foster care has allowed me to follow God’s calling on my life to put the needs of others ahead of my own comfort. Through this I have experienced a deep and enduring satisfaction that far overshadows the struggle and discomfort to get there. Eryn and I are planning to continue fostering, and we are grateful that the Grace of God allows us as broken people to serve Him in this way.

Christians believe that Jesus has existed eternally in equal and perfect unity with God. Jesus willingly left his position at Gods right hand, came to earth as a servant and died on a cross to provide salvation and eternal life for all who receive it. (Philippians 2: 1–11)

While on a mission trip in West Africa a couple of years ago, my team and I shared the story of the Bible from beginning to end. Instead of going into detail about how Christ died, we said that he died for our sins without mentioning the cross specifically. When we were talking later and discussing Christianity, one of the men asked what the cross signified and why is it displayed in churches? It was shocking to us that this these men had no idea about the crucifixion and the cross. They are Muslim and recognize many of the same prophets that Christians do. They believe that Jesus existed, but they do not believe he was the son of God and that he died on a cross.

We explained that crucifixion was one of the most gruesome, humiliating and public ways to die. We told them how Jesus had been innocent of all the charges against him but that he willingly gave his life as a sacrifice. Because of this all people who believe in Jesus and follow him have their sins forgiven by his sacrifice.

Believing vs. Following Jesus

Growing up I knew who Jesus was. I knew that he died on a cross. I knew that Jesus wanted me to be a nice person and treat others like I wanted to be treated. (Matthew 7:12) However I did not realize what it meant to follow Jesus. As a senior in high school, I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan and realized the difference between believing in and following Jesus. Following Jesus requires 100% devotion. Jesus uses crucifixion as an example of what it takes to follow him.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16: 24–26)

I recognized that even though I knew who Jesus was, I was not following him, and I made the decision, at age 18, to follow Jesus. This meant changing from someone trying to live as a good person to someone dedicated to following the written word of God, trusting those words are true and to following scripture’s instruction for my life. Jesus said that in order to follow him and enter the kingdom of God, everyone must experience a radical change in their life and be born again.

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. (John 3: 1–5)

Following Jesus as a Sinner

It has been twelve years since I decided to follow Jesus and that decision has dictated all the major decisions I have made since. Decisions on finances, career goals, children and marriage have all been viewed through the lens of Jesus’ calling on my life.

Unfortunately, being born again and receiving the Holy Spirit does not completely remove sin from the Christian’s life. We are all sinners and fall short of perfection. The difference is Christians who follow Jesus are focused on his calling on their lives and working to correct and prevent the areas of sin in their lives. It is an ongoing battle that we will face until eternity.

One sin that I want to confess is my failure to be someone who boldly proclaims the Gospel to others. There have been periods of my life as a follower of Christ where I have eagerly pursued sharing the good news of Jesus with friends, but time and time again I find myself afraid of the awkwardness of being the person who ventured into the taboo topic of religion. In West Africa, we shared the Gospel multiple times a day with people who have never heard the story of Jesus before. It was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. I felt a deep spiritual fulfillment and connection with God.

Sharing the Gospel boldly and clearly is one of the goals of my writing. I believe that because of sin we were all separated from God and doomed for eternity in Hell, but God has made a way for us to be saved through Jesus’ shed blood on the cross and he can give us the power to live the lives we were meant to live, following his commands. I plead that all who read this take these claims seriously.

Conclusion

The God who created the universe sent his Son to earth to die on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins. Salvation is a gift available to everyone. Receiving the gift is free but the only response for those who accept it is complete surrender of their lives by following Jesus.

I am writing intentionally to share my views and challenge others on topics that are difficult to talk about in person. Faith and politics will likely be the two main themes of what I write about. As is with everything I write about, I would love to hear your thoughts and please challenge me if you disagree.

If 39% of Americans truly believe that the election was rigged then it is critical for our leaders to stand up and boldly proclaim the truth, not to give credence to falsehoods. Mitch McConnell captured the seriousness of the proceedings yesterday, “I have served 36 years in the Senate. This will be the most important vote I have ever cast… If this election were overturned by mere allegations from the losing side, our democracy would enter a death spiral. We’d never see the whole nation accept an election again.”

As I watched the Senators speak I noticed on twitter that there were clashes with protesters and police outside the Capitol. My initial thought was to hope that the unfortunate events were contained to just a small group of people. Then in the middle of Pat Toomey’s remarks, Mike Pence called an emergency recess and was quickly ushered off by secret service. I thought, there is no way that these protesters are going to enter the Capitol?! This had to be just a precautionary measure. To my disbelief, I spent the next couple hours watching as these insurrectionists invaded the Capitol, even sitting in the very seat that Mike Pence did hours before.

These events were an unforgettable stain on America and our democracy, the very thing that defines us. I struggle to process how the Republican party will move forward after the events of yesterday. The first thing we can do as a Nation is to hold the people involved responsible. The people that entered the Capitol yesterday should be prosecuted. Donald Trump should be impeached to ensure he does no more harm and is not able to hold public office again.

The NY Times Editorial Board did a great job summarizing Trump’s involvement yesterday:

“Mr. Trump sparked these assaults. He has railed for months against the verdict rendered by voters in November. He summoned his supporters to gather in Washington on this day, and encouraged them to march on the Capitol. He told them that the election was being stolen. He told them to fight. He told them he might join them and, even as they stormed the building, he declined for long hours to tell them to stop, to condemn their actions, to raise a finger in defense of the Constitution that he swore to preserve and protect. When he finally spoke, late in the day, he affirmed the protesters’ anger, telling them again that the election was stolen, but asking them to go home anyway. It was the performance of a man unwilling to fulfill his duties as president or to confront the consequences of his own behavior.”

From my perspective, there is no question whether Trump should be impeached. Impeachment is the only option for such an egregious assault on the Constitution and democracy. Once Trump is gone and America witnesses a peaceful transition of power from Mike Pence to Joe Biden, we can regroup as a country and Republicans can regroup as a political party. I firmly believe the large number of loyal Trump followers are honest, hard working Americans that feel left behind in a country catering to other priorities. The question moving forward is how can we unify towards shared goals and the common good? One thing is certain, we will need a leader of high character and morality to lead us. We cannot make the same mistake twice.

There are several reasons:

• To improve my ability to capture and process my thoughts.
• To improve my ability to convey ideas.
• To push me to read deeper and understand more thoroughly.
• To encourage others to “challenge me” and engage me.

What led me to start this endeavor? A combination of Enneagram, Alexander Hamilton, Facebook and the Wall Street Journal.

Enneagram

On our way back from Christmas in Pennsylvanian (don’t worry we were Covid conscious) Eryn recommended that we start the audio book that she recently purchased, “The Road Back to You, An Enneagram Journey to Self Discovery”. I didn’t really want to listen to it, but I reluctantly agreed because I felt the Enneagram personality methodology was becoming more common so it may be good to be familiar with it. The first couple chapters of the book introduce the basics and structure of Enneagram. Then there is a chapter that goes in detail about each number. The authors describe the intricacies, tendencies and details about each personality type. The first type the book goes into is Type 8, The Challenger. Eryn thought this could be my type so I was listening closely. Over the next hour I listened to a description of myself that was more accurate than I could have ever imagined. Eights enjoy conversations about any subject in which they can boldly state opinions and get into debates. Eights enjoy the banter and energy of a disagreement and they are often surprised to learn that others can be hurt or overwhelmed by the force of their opinions. Eights highly value the truth even at the expense of others feelings or opinions of them. Eights passion for justice and truth often leads them to side with the oppressed and defenseless.

Type Eights like to challenge others and to have others challenge them. We experience it as a sort of bonding process. I will write with the intent to challenge others and I hope anyone who reads will take it as an invitation to challenge me back. While, true to an eight, I feel that my opinions are correct, I am very open to evaluating my opinions when different facts and perspectives are introduced. Truth is what is important above all. (As a side note, I am new to Enneagram, but have been impressed with it so far. There are some concerns to be cautious of.)

Alexander Hamilton

This past summer I jumped on the bandwagon and finally watched Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical Hamilton. Now I can’t stop watching and listening to it, it may be one of the best artistic creations of all time. Hamilton has launched me into a fascination with the founding fathers and early American history. Alexander Hamilton was a force to be reckoned with. He pursued the truth and boldly challenged others that he disagreed with. He was a master of written communication, using his words to convey his opinions and convince others. His vibrant and contentious personality also put him at odds with many. He seems like an Eight to me...

Facebook

Do you hate political discussions on Facebook? Well then you are probably among the majority. I love them. Facebook is a great platform for discussion. The written medium allows you to reread your words and edit them. It allows many to participate, by liking, commenting or just reading. There is one critical thing that is required…respect. All parties participating need to give the benefit of the doubt to each other. Things can go haywire when people are convinced that their opponent is evil, racist, sexist or a bigot because they do not agree with them. I write to convey my thoughts and opinions on topics and issues I find critical. If you disagree, please send me an email, invite me to lunch or comment when I post these on Facebook. Healthy disagreement is one of the main things I am hoping to accomplish.

The Wall Street Journal

“There is an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal today” is a phrase that is said several times a week in our household. After rolling her eyes, Eryn looks at me with an expression that says, “I am listening, but you have 30 seconds.”

I am passionate about the purpose and quality of the WSJ. The news section is widely regarded as balanced with high journalistic integrity. The opinion section, with a goal of promoting Free People and Free Markets, definitely leans right but that is my political leaning so it is a valuable lens to view the current events. Reading the WSJ regularly has taught me the value of the written word and how the sources of news we consume are critical to our perspective on the world and events.