The Name — Issue 06: Letter from the Editor

Hey Starter crew,

Well, here we are 6 months into this project. Half a year already, dang! THANK YOU for being here. This little email magazine has grown from only friends and family to new Starters from all over the world. This month we reached a new milestone, our first contributing editor! Welcome Alli Ball who’s taking over the monthly product round-up, now with an official name: The Starter Pack. With her background curating products for Bi-Rite Market in San Francisco to now consulting the best boutique brands, I’m stoked to have our own tiny Bi-Rite-ish section of Starter.

Ok, so onto this issue, albeit rather late this month because…I blame the name. I am in the naming process and it dominates every waking and probably dreaming thought. As a person that loves the branding process, I always think it’s something I’m going to enjoy but it ends up being so head-banging-against-the-wall hard. It consumes every thought until it’s done. WHHHHY. After naming a human and now three businesses, I can say naming the business baby is absolutely harder.

What do you want your audience to feel when they hear your name? That’s the kernel of your positioning. Then you have to think about domain names, instagram handles, and trademark laws. As I have learned the hard way with my second company (after getting sued), it’s not just who has the trademark either, it’s anyone with the same name in the same category — as common trademark law can protect a name in certain instances. Not to fill this letter with legal ick, but it’s thinking about these nuances ahead of time that helps you down the road.

After my second company (first called Forage) was sued — we decided to proceed with the path of renaming for various reasons. That led me to working with the team at A Hundred Monkeys who led us to the name Din. What I was most impressed by was their process. Typically working with a group like that can run you $10k or more, but Eli Altman the founder, wrote a book revealing how to find an exceptional name. So after what was a pretty painful process of re-naming, what surfaced was actually a more keen understanding of how to work through the naming of any company. I hope to share these learnings with you to make your process of naming a bit easier. After 3–4 weeks of it dominating my thinking space, we finally landed on THE NAME (!!!). There is still some trademark work to be done to secure it, so we won’t divulge it just yet. Stayed tuned to future issues for the reveal.

Ahead in this issue we share, the book Eli wrote, Don’t Call it That as our Starter Book Club pick, one of my favorite exercises from the book to kick off your brainstorming, stories from other food founders, AND of course the new Starter Pack with Alli Ball.

Sending the good vibes your way.

In Good Food We Trust,
-ELO

*one more thing* — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox!

*two more things* — Remember last month I talked about a co-founder? Next month in Issue 07, you will meet her. :)

The Name — Issue 06: Letter from the Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Co-Founders — Issue 05: Letter from The Editor

Hey Starter Fam,

Funny thing happened last month. I had a bit of a crisis moment that I shared when I had a house full of sick ones. I was feeling the challenge of how to juggle the world of entrepreneurship and parenthood when your dependent little one takes priority numero uno. Honestly, my brain was thinking: how are you going to do this?

That moment made me really take a look at my values and turned into an unexpected breakthrough — a co-founder.

Solo founders have far less success than those with 2–4 co-founders. I personally love the magic of a creative duo, and it’s way more fun than going alone. Ya know, the Bradley Cooper meets Lady Gaga kinda duo. ;) There are three creative duo archetypes that recur most often — the star and the director; the liquid and the container; the dreamer and the doer — and each speaks to a significant dialectic in the creative life. Something you’ll learn more about if you dig into this month’s Starter Book Club:Powers of Two: How Relationships Drive Creativity.

But HOW do you find that someone.

I had planted the seed back in November, seeking a co-founder. For those of you I’m meeting for the first time through Starter, a quick backstory. My husband Rob and I co-founded two companies together, each with a third co-founder. For this business, it was different because we both were being pulled towards different ideas. While we thrived as co-founders, without a mutual passion for the same idea, it wasn’t a match this time.

This new co-founder dating has led me to an interesting experience that both feels new in how to find that person, yet backed with time-tested knowledge of what a thriving partnership looks and feels like. I found that as soon as I honed in on my values, the right person surfaced so clearly. Everyone has a different way of meeting a co-founder and different perspectives on what makes one thrive, something you’ll learn in the founder stories shared in this issue.

We are doing our diligence to vet each other as co-founders (I’ll announce next month if it’s a go!), and just wrapped the 34 Questions to Ask a Potential Co-founder. Things get personal, in a GOOD way.

So basically, this month I am dating. ;) Since I pretty much haven’t done that since my first day of college when I met my husband… (yes we have been together 17 years!). Wish me luck.

Sending you all good vibes for wherever you are on your business journey.

In Good Food We Trust,
-ELO

*one more thing* — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox!

*ok, two more things* — I want to help you with your business (or maybe someone you know). I have had some great discussions with you all via email over that last few months. It’s been an absolute joy to coach entrepreneurs to take the leap or to narrow in on the right idea that’s true to their purpose. I’m exploring the idea of a model that’s affordable for bootstrapped entrepreneurs who are usually pouring every dime into their business and wouldn’t consider hiring a coach. But from my experience working with one, it’s truly a game changer for you and your co-founders. This would be a side hustle to help me self-finance the ice cream business, so I’m only taking on a few clients. If you are interested or know someone, send me an email.Thx!

Co-Founders — Issue 05: Letter from The Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Values — Issue 04: Letter from the Editor

Hi Starter fam,

I am back in Kauai and it sure feels good. I love this place. You might not think of it as a creative hub, but as an entrepreneur working to tap into my greatest creative potential, it’s amazing how important it is to find a place that’s quiet to cut out the noise and hear what you truly are here to give. Wherever you are, find that quiet space for yourself.

It also forces me to slow down. I am learning the gifts of slow quite literally as I wait for the soft-serve equipment (I am sharing with some other food makers) that is coming on the slooooooow boat! It’s just how things go here in Kauai. While I wait for the machine’s arrival, it’s actually forced me to do these important preparatory steps for the business that I KNOW I need to be doing for the right foundation, yet still the thrill of creating and pushing ahead in making the product can cause me to skip right over.

This month I am making my values concrete and diving deeper in them. I am certainly a values-based entrepreneur and they have been swirling around in my head, but I have not written them down. I’m very passionate as a new mom about work and family integration. I shared some real real on the ‘gram about my struggles figuring out the balance. You also hear me talk a lot about regenerative organic agriculture because I have learned enough to know that it is the future of our food and the healing of our planet, but I have not given myself the time to dig in deep. Changing that this month.

My first introduction to regenerative organic agriculture was through Karen Leibowitz and Anthony Myint. They own a few very successful restaurants in San Francisco. I knew their restaurants like Commonwealth and Mission Chinese well, but they really came on my radar when they did a carbon footprint test on their own businesses and shared their learnings. It then led them to starting The Perennial, the most progressive and environmentally-friendly restaurant. They pushed all the boundaries and while they did that, they started a non-profit called The Perennial Farming Institute to help explore initiatives that could help mitigate climate change and respond to its impacts on the food system.

I have learned so much from them, and the artwork on this month’s cover is dedicated to how they have helped lead the way for the food community to understand what it means to be growing food in harmony with nature. They shared the tough news that they closed The Perennial just a few days ago and will be putting their full effort into The Perennial Farming Institute. It’s certainly a loss for the community and a reminder that business is hard and not a given. BUT it’s also proof that your values and mission will live on. The fear of failure can often keep you from starting at all, but if you start with a clear why and have your values concrete, you will see that the work you are meant to create might be through this idea, or it might be a stepping stone to the next project. The projects and businesses are more temporary, but the underlying reasons you do it are the ones that last.

So on that note, the month of February is all about values. In this issue I share the stories of food entrepreneurs who are doing remarkable work, while living their values. This month’s book club, I am going DEEP on regenerative organic agriculture, thanks to a recommendation from the folks at Patagonia Provisions. Outside of my reading I am going to be meeting with people on island who can teach me the regenerative ways specifically for the ecology of Kauai. You can follow along those adventures at @thestartermag.

I wish you all the best this month.

In Good Food We Trust,
-ELO

PS — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox!

Values — Issue 04: Letter from the Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Vision — Issue 03: Letter from the Editor

Hey Starter fam,

How’s your January so far? I hope you’ve had a superb first week to this brand new year. I am currently hanging in a retirement community with my in-laws in Florida for the month. WHY ON EARTH, do you ask? ;) Not only does family matter, BUT part of my vision for 2019 is building a profitable business that I bootstrap myself. My husband Rob and I rented our portion of our home in Kauai on AirBnB, so I could stash some cash and invest in equipment and ingredients for the ice cream biz.

The future is now. Whatever future you envision with your business, you have to start with some small part of that NOW. A Yale study found that countries like Japan, China, and Norway don’t distinguish between the future and present tense in their language and it turns out they have a significantly higher savings rate. They don’t wait for some future time to save, it’s built into every decision. The linguistics of these cultures clearly drive the psychology and behavior of its people, something to keep in mind as you consider how you think about building your vision.

Speaking of shaping the way we think… My book selection this month: Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Do the Uncommon has been a complete paradigm shifter for me in understanding how the mind-body connection works to manifest your dreams.

While I kick back in Central Florida with the 55+ crowd ;), hustling while my daughter sleeps, I am taking the time to ink my vision on paper for the ice cream biz. In this issue you’ll find a few visionary founders that inspire me, a reminder to focus on WHY, and tactical to-dos to get your vision down. Sending all the good vibes your way as you kick off 2019.

In good food we trust,
- ELO

PS — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox!

Vision — Issue 03: Letter from the Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Alignment — Issue 02: Letter from the Editor

Hey hey Starters,

Issue 02 is here! AND it’s all about ALIGNMENT because there is no better place to start. If you don’t start a business that’s in alignment with yourself, the struggle will be real. It could be said another way: finding your life’s purpose, your personal mission, your genius, or your superpower. I asked many successful entrepreneurs this month how they know they are in alignment and how to stay in it. Over and over, I heard things like gut feelings, sign posts, synchronicities, and being in flow.

Why does this matter for business? Well business, life, relationships, it’s all the same. It’s the truest version of you showing up in all of those places. This month, I share my path to finding alignment with plant-based ice cream, the stories of food entrepreneurs who are clearly on their path, and the wise teachers who offer lessons, stories and tactical advice for how to find it and check in on your own alignment. Issue 02 also includes an interview with renowned executive coach Khalid Halim, who picked this month’s book — The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship by David Whyte.

Wherever you are with your next food business idea, whether you are IN IT or dreaming of it, be patient to choose the path of alignment for yourself. That’s what the world needs from you.

In good food we trust,
- ELO

PS — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox!

Alignment — Issue 02: Letter from the Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Start — Issue 01: Letter from the Editor

Hi friends and fam,

I’m starting food business #3, a farm-to-cone, plant-based ice cream company (coconut to be exact) in Kauai. This mini email magazine called Starter is where I’m going to share my journey of building this business.

I sat down for hours, combing through emails and photos of my friendships and relationships from the last decade as an entrepreneur. Whether we speak regularly or just here and there, you are one of the people that has made an impact on my entrepreneurial career and I want to share this next step with you.

A little over a year ago, Rob and I moved to Kauai and became parents soon after to our daughter Ava. Those two huge life shifts came after a decade of experience building two businesses in food & tech; one that sold (Foodzie) and one that failed and was shut-down (Din). While I had long since processed those experiences, I found myself doing some deep reflections about my previous work and what’s next for me.

While one sold and one failed, one thing they both had in common was the underlying structure that made them both reliant on tech venture capital funding from the outset. I realized that I needed a re-education on how to build a business that’s sustainable at every level.

I want to build a stable and strong foundation that goes a little slower (island life is good for this!), and shift away from leveraging a financial structure I learned in tech that is predicated on mass scale and hyper-growth from day one. I have no issues with scale, when scale is there to serve the customer experience at the right stage, but in the VC-backed tech world it was the first priority. Plus, if you start with a foundation of profitability where the founders have full control, it gives you the freedom to make decisions that maybe aren’t just for shareholders first or aimed at the next round of funding, but for other important factors like the community, family life, the environment, or other values you hold. There are many paths to building a successful business and I am very grateful for my time in tech for the passionate, ambitious people I met and the education I received, but this is the one that feels right for me now.

Starter is a place to share my story and my re-education building my ice cream business this way. I’ll be sharing the stories of other successful food & beverage entrepreneurs building triple-bottom-line businesses, the books I’m reading (with a book club each month), and the stories and questions that come from this community of entrepreneurs.

I’ll send out one email issue a month (ya know, like a traditional magazine), so hit subscribe if you want to hear more and please forward to any of your food-loving friends who have been dreaming about starting their own food business or who are already in the trenches so we can learn, create, and succeed together.

In good food we trust,
- ELO

PS — This magazine wouldn’t be possible without the fine design skills of Sharon McPeake and of course the endless support and business pillowtalk ;) from my partner in life Rob LaFave who isn’t a co-founder this go-around, but my biggest business cheerleader. Mahalo!

PPS — You can see the full issue and all past issues at thestartermag.com and subscribe to get this little email magazine delivered to your inbox.

The Start — Issue 01: Letter from the Editor was originally published in Starter Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Issue 02: Vision — Letter from the Editor

Hey hey Starters,

Issue 02 is here! AND it’s all about ALIGNMENT because there is no better place to start. If you don’t start a business that’s in alignment with yourself, the struggle will be real. It could be said another way: finding your life’s purpose, your personal mission, your genius, or your superpower. I asked many successful entrepreneurs this month how they know they are in alignment and how to stay in it. Over and over, I heard things like gut feelings, sign posts, synchronicities, and being in flow.

Why does this matter for business? Well business, life, relationships, it’s all the same. It’s the truest version of you showing up in all of those places. This month, I share my path to finding alignment with plant-based ice cream, the stories of food entrepreneurs who are clearly on their path, and the wise teachers who offer lessons, stories and tactical advice for how to find it and check in on your own alignment. Issue 02 also includes an interview with renowned executive coach Khalid Halim, who picked this month’s book — The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship by David Whyte.

Wherever you are with your next food business idea, whether you are IN IT or dreaming of it, be patient to choose the path of alignment for yourself. That’s what the world needs from you.

In good food we trust,
- ELO

*one more thing* — To receive the full issue via email, subscribe! We deliver one issue per month.

Issue 01: The Start — Letter from the Editor

Hi friends and fam,

I’m starting food business #3, a farm-to-cone, plant-based ice cream company (coconut to be exact) in Kauai. This mini email magazine called Starter is where I’m going to share my journey of building this business.

A little over a year ago, Rob and I moved to Kauai and became parents soon after to our daughter Ava. Those two huge life shifts came after a decade of experience building two businesses in food & tech; one that sold (Foodzie) and one that failed and was shut-down (Din). While I had long since processed those experiences, I found myself doing some deep reflections about my previous work and what’s next for me.

While one sold and one failed, one thing they both had in common was the underlying structure that made them both reliant on tech venture capital funding from the outset. I realized that I needed a re-education on how to build a business that’s sustainable at every level.

I want to build a stable and strong foundation that goes a little slower (island life is good for this!), and shift away from leveraging a financial structure I learned in tech that is predicated on mass scale and hyper-growth from day one. I have no issues with scale, when scale is there to serve the customer experience at the right stage, but in the VC-backed tech world it was the first priority. Plus, if you start with a foundation of profitability where the founders have full control, it gives you the freedom to make decisions that maybe aren’t just for shareholders first or aimed at the next round of funding, but for other important factors like the community, family life, the environment, or other values you hold. There are many paths to building a successful business and I am very grateful for my time in tech for the passionate, ambitious people I met and the education I received, but this is the one that feels right for me now.

Starter is a place to share my story and my re-education building my ice cream business this way. I’ll be sharing the stories of other successful food & beverage entrepreneurs building triple-bottom-line businesses, the books I’m reading (with a book club each month), and the stories and questions that come from this community of entrepreneurs.

I’ll send out one email issue a month (ya know, like a traditional magazine), so hit subscribe if you want to hear more (the full issue is delivered via email) and please forward to any of your food-loving friends who have been dreaming about starting their own food business or who are already in the trenches so we can learn, create, and succeed together.

In Good Food We Trust,
- ELO

Like so many people across the country, the 2016 election activated me as a citizen, in a way I had never been involved before. The negativity that dominated the election was unimaginable: blatant misogyny, racism, hatred, and xenophobia were suddenly front and center. I couldn’t really believe what was happening. I watched Trump dominate every message and news cycle. It didn’t seem possible that a person like Trump could get elected to be President of our great country, the United States of America. I did my small part to help elect Hillary as our President. I donated money to her campaign, and donated my time to making calls. I spoke out about my support for Hillary in projects like The Pussy Project, and I created a viral hashtag campaign #imwithherandher with a group of women, to get men and women to speak out for their support of Hillary. We all know the ending to the story, despite all of our individual efforts, Trump won.

On election night, I sat at a bar with friends, watching as the nightmare unfolded. As Trump took the lead and eventually won the election, the bar grew silent. My husband was in Berlin at the time for a developer conference and he sent me a picture of this magazine, resting on a table in the cafe where he was working. The Germans he knew kept asking him, “What is going on in your country? How could you possibly be this close to electing this man? Haven’t you learned from our mistakes in electing a fascist?” He had no answer. Neither did I.

I woke up the day after Trump won, alone in my house, and I just started crying — deep guttural sounds of grief. For days and weeks after I tried to understand why I was taking an election so hard. I realized that this was no ordinary election. It was the pain of forward progress being slingshot backwards in time. It was the heavy weight of oppression. It was the fact that hate was turned into a political weapon… and it won.

Taking Action Post-Election

After the initial shock of grief had passed, like many others I began to ask, how did this happen? Do I not know my own country? What did I miss? Were we truly so divided? As Oprah demonstrated in her recent 60 Minutes interview, the split that separates our nation hasn’t gone away. But as I would soon find out, the election was about more than that.

I quickly decided that I had to become an active participant in our democracy. I was one of the many backseat citizens who did my part, showing up to vote every two to four years, and I wasn’t doing much in between. I decided I was going to include a 30-minute “civic practice” every day, like my 30-minute meditation practice.

In January, I traveled from San Francisco back to the city where I was born, Washington D.C., and marched on Washington with friends (and our mothers) for the Women’s March. That same month, I attended Marianne Williamson’s Sister Giant. It was a three-day accelerated political education for me. That’s where it became clear that something bigger, something much more strategic, was at work. And that thing had led to the outcome of this election.

How Republicans are Winning

Conservatives have known for a long time that demographics and social progress have been making their platform statistically unwinnable in a fair fight. So they have fought a different way.

The Koch Brothers. Dark Money. The Southern Strategy. Gerrymandering.

The biggest lesson was learning about the Republican strategy that had been at work since the late 1970s under the Koch Brothers. A unified message and funding source, plus a grassroots strategy from colleges to state-level campaigns had been used to take away the power from progressives. Democrats now hold fewer seats across the nation than at any time in the last 100 years.

Part of the Republicans strategy is to use gerrymandering — the drawing of wildly unnatural congressional districts to maximize partisan gain — to control where district lines are drawn in their favor. In 2011 project Redmap took gerrymandering to a new level, and is still dictating politics today.

You can learn more about it in Vice’s recent documentary on gerrymandering in North Carolina. The Supreme Court is now hearing several cases this year to determine whether partisan gerrymandering is legal. It’s one of the key issues President Obama is tackling. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger is getting on board.

Arnold on Twitter

I'm all in on fighting gerrymandering - it's time to say "no" to politicians picking their voters and give the power back to the people. https://t.co/StBgHvNla7

The Koch brothers are planning to spend $400M in 2018, because they know they get better ROI in non-presidential elections when Democrats stay home. It’s not hyperbole to say Trump is in the White House because of state politics. Trump won three states by less than 50,000 votes: Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. All three were taken over by GOP in 2010 (i.e. both state houses and governorship), and all three implemented voting restrictions that were in place in the 2016 election. There were certainly other factors at play as well, but this was no doubt a key contributor.

Through my education, I realized if I was going to direct my energy somewhere, it was helping progressive candidates at the state level.

The Answer: Tech for Campaigns

That’s when I joined Tech for Campaigns.

Instead of tweeting my outrage, instead of calling my reps on every issue (in California they all are aligned with my interests), I knew I could use my newly carved out civic time for something more impactful. To take the skills I had learned from a decade as an entrepreneur building tech companies and put that to work to help elect more progressive candidates.

Tech for Campaigns knows that state-level campaigns are what moves the needle, yet they get little attention and money compared to national elections. They know that tech now plays a critical part in winning elections. You cannot win without a digital team, and they know that Republicans are outsmarting Democrats when it comes to digital.

Tech for Campaigns wants to change that. TFC gives the best tech talent to the down-ballot progressive and centrist candidates in state races across the country. Projects are customized for each candidate depending on what they need to win: from designing websites, to text-based Get Out the Vote apps, and paid social advertising. It’s about putting skills into action in small ways, where it makes a big difference in the long run. Like working with Elizabeth Guzman, running for Virginia House of Delegates, an impressive candidate looking to flip the 31st district blue. Our volunteers have worked with Elizabeth on her paid Facebook strategy to fundraise, recruit volunteers, and drive awareness. If she wins, she’d be the first Latina in the House of Delegates.

Let’s be clear, there are many ways to help more progressives win, and tech is in no way the savior. There are many great organizations that will play their part. We all work together. This just happened to be the right fit for me…and maybe it’s the right fit for you too.

I joined three months ago as the Community Lead for our volunteers. Since Tech for Campaigns was created in January, we’ve signed up over 3,000 volunteers and completed 50 projects. It’s working.

We’re ready to help more candidates and take it to 500 projects, so we’re raising funds to make it happen. We just surpassed 70% of our goal. Will you join me? Donate to our Indiegogo campaign, or join me as a volunteer. Together we can make a difference.

Why I Joined Tech for Campaigns was originally published in Tech for Campaigns on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Philando Castile. I have not been able to shake his story. It’s a story of institutionalized racism so deep that even now, with the cameras on and recording from every angle, we still can’t seem to find justice. Changing a system so deeply ingrained in America means each of us taking a look at our own blind spots. This is a story, as a white woman, of uncovering some blind spots of my own.

I was sitting at the window of my usual spot, Cafe du Soleil. A neighborhood cafe with just the right breeze flowing into the corner and a red vespa always parked out front. The coffee is mediocre, but the ambiance is delightful. It’s a neighborhoody kind of place. It’s my thinking place. I was scribbling in my notebook. Writing. Brainstorming.

“What are you drawing over there?” I asked. He was an artist and I was yearning to be surrounded by more artists.

“Oh just doing some sketches,” he said.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Hi, I’m Ace,” he said.

“How did you get that name?” I asked.

“Well it’s my nickname, the name I give people, until people know me. My name is Arrington. Arrington West.”

He shared with me his project, Black Mail Show, a collective of black male artists. His mission: to give the few remaining black men in San Francisco the space to share their artwork and have a voice. He wants to be a platform to cultivate artists of color: to be an incubator for the next generation.

Fast forward to September, and it’s the closing party of his second show. It’s the night where all the artists get to share the stories behind their artwork. I had been eager to attend.

One of my first conversations was with a gentleman who had recently moved to Oakland. We stood in the installation: The Living Room. The installation of a black family’s living room, well, specifically the grandparents’ living room. The recliner, where grandfather sat, sitting in front of an old tv, with old VHS tapes of significant black movies. The ashtray sat beside the table. My new friend walked me through the scene. As a white woman, this was not my scene, I was here to learn.

“Your grandparents’ home plays a significant role,” he said. “Especially your grandmother. She’s the matriarch. The rock. The one you can return to for stability and certainty in the noisy confusion and chaos as a black man in the outside world. Your grandmother and her table, she was comfort, safety, and stability.”

We talked about the Bay Area, as he had just moved there.

“I’ve been here for 8 years, it’s my soul city,” I said. “It’s the first place I ever felt like I belonged.”

“What do you love about it?” he asked.

“It’s a place for dreamers. It’s where dreams can become a reality.”

The culmination of the next four hours was a lot of listening as I heard each artist speak to their pieces. The legacy of slavery. Story after story, each of the men shared through their art how they had a friend, a father, or an uncle that ended up in prison or was shot and killed. Or faced police brutality. The unending cloud of these fears, weighing heavy over daily life.

We arrived at the very last installations, they were a combination of two pieces that serendipitously ended up next to one another.

One about dreams. The other about prison.

Without realizing it, the two men shared the stories of two different realities, yet tightly interwoven. One the reality so many black men face, that prison feels inevitable. One in three black men will be incarcerated. The installation of one man’s prison experience sat beside another man’s painting of a window, a piece about dreams. The artist, Muzae Sesay, for the first time let his paint flow, like a dream, without thinking of all the fears. Only feeling. The freedom to dream. The freedom to not be plagued by all the fears of what could happen with your life.

“Dreaming is a luxury,” he said.

My earlier conversation hit me like a ton of bricks.
This town is a place for dreamers. Maybe only white dreamers.

Dreaming is a luxury.

To free your mind, to imagine and dream, this is a luxury. My life as a white woman, getting to focus on dreams, it’s a luxury.

There was his painting, a window, with limitless possibility, set next to the photo of the prison gates. What a devastating juxtaposition. We have shattered the dreams for black men and women with our mass incarceration. And with our systemic racism that continues to kill black men and women.

The man known for the very speech, I Have a Dream, was murdered for it.

Back to Philando Castile. A growing list of murders of black men and women executed by police officers in our collective sight. Video cameras now documenting. Yet still, so very few convictions.

I think that is what shook me so hard with Philando’s murder. All of this evidence in pure sight and yet still, justice isn’t served by the jury. Why?

It turns out it’s not enough to simply see it. We are seeing it through a dirty lens, a collective consciousness and system that is still deeply racist. We’ll truly have to change ourselves to see things differently; it starts with each of us. Racism exists on a spectrum. There is overt racism, and there’s unconscious bias that lies in our blind spots. As a woman, I know first hand the oppression I have experienced, the little things day-to-day I experience that a man can’t see. I distinctly remember the catcall video that went viral. So many men responded in shock, saying “wait, is this truly your reality?”. And for women, it was like “oh, it’s so the norm you stop noticing it anymore”. When I first learned about the notion of “driving while black,” it was like the catcall wake up for men, but for me as a white woman. I simply had no idea that was someone else’s reality.

Even though I grew up in a household that taught love and tolerance for all humans, no matter the color of their skin, I still grew up in Maryland, below the Mason Dixon Line, and most of my schools were predominantly white.

Even though I was born in the Washington, DC hospital clinic, with all black nurses being the first beautiful faces welcoming me into this world, I was still born in America, where slavery is a part of our painful history.

Racism lives in me. Until I admitted that to myself, I couldn’t see my blind spots, change my way of seeing the world, and change where I took action.

Our liberation is tied to each other. We are not free until everyone is free. Free to dream. Free to live. Deserving of justice. I believe it will take each of us looking deep within ourselves to uncover our own biases. Surrounding ourselves with people and experiences that can elucidate where we need to change to help heal the racism in our country. Let’s wake up and own our responsibility to change the system from the inside out. Once we’ve changed our hearts, it means using our voices, our time, and our dollars to change policies to create a system where we all have the luxury to dream.

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PS — Some of the people and organizations that I’ve turned to, both to learn and understand how best to take action include the Black Mail Show, Shaun King, Brittany Packnett, Black Lives Matter, Campaign Zero, and MASK.

If you are in Washington, D.C. Friday July 14th or Saturday July 15th, you can march with the Women’s March, marching for justice for Philando Castile and common sense gun laws. The march is to send a message to the NRA that their organization should stand up for common sense gun laws for all legal gun owners, no matter what race or color.