I noticed on Tuesday and Wednesday that I always woke up tired despite sleeping for about 7 hours at night and being the Type A girl, I told myself that if I slept for 7 hours at night, I had no reason not to work the next day. My schedule and deadlines won’t take care of themselves, so even though I’d sit on my table feeling real sleepy, disconnected from the work I was forcing myself to do and yawning indiscriminately 😂😂😂😂😂, I still kept pushing.

By Wednesday though, I had to ask myself — ‘what is the problem?’ Why I’m I getting quantity sleep but not quality sleep.

So I did the check in my head.
Vitamins ✔ I was getting enough I believe, never lacking in Vitamin Cs especially (thanks to lemon water and snacking on oranges). I took my Vitamin B supplement just in case.

I was nourishing my body optimally.

I knew I needed a Magnesium bath but I could not just get myself off work to go soak in the tub for 30 minutes, I had work to do (🙄🙄 I know, I can be really hard on myself) I talk more about using Magnesium in your self care routines here. I plan to do it this Saturday though.

Then I looked at my sleep routine — Oh Oh.
Usually my sleep routine would go like this

- Dinner before 7pm
- Read a book or a blog post between 8pm-9pm.
- Drop your phone and play a podcast or audiobook for 15–30 minutes while you drift off to sleep or pray and meditate if sleep is not in view.
- It takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to drift off so shutting down before 10:30 pm is really important to me so I can get good quality sleep.

Sadly, here is what I was doing wrong (I have a ban on specific genre of TV shows for this reason)

I decided to watch THE GOOD WIFE one evening to unwind. Normally I’d watch my lifestyle shows which I find very relaxing (cooking shows, home makeovers etc). At least I’d dream of me being the best chef the world ever came across and wake up with good energy😉. With the good wife it was not so, I love a movie that gives me suspense, action, the thrill, you know that effect of wanting more but I’d rather do that with a 1–2 hour movie than a TV series that never ends which means I have to come back to it again & again.

So being a natural binger (someone who wants to get it done all at once), I have no idea how I sped through all of season 1 and more in less than a week. I was going to bed later than normal but what made it all worse was I was waking up exhausted 😂😂😂😂😂😂, exhausted from chasing down criminals, exhausted from being involved in a heist, exhausted from experiencing a crime. The one that broke the camel’s back was waking up on Wednesday morning to realise that my dream throughout the night was about — my Dad’s phone being tapped and someone siphoning his money before he could get to his transactions. The last incident in my dreamland epsiode, we were looking for how to replace was a $30–50 million dollar deal. Ha!! My Father o, may his soul rest in peace. How did I drag him into this?

Well, the last episode I watched the night before had to do with $50,000 and phones that were wiretapped.

Mtschewww, I need my good quality sleep please. I can’t deal anymore. I still watched a few episodes last night because — hey, addiction but what I did was to stop watching at 10pm and then switch to a book for about 15–30 minutes before focusing on my thoughts — gratitude for the day and looking into the plans I had for Friday including sharing this with you.

I honestly woke up a lot better, had more energy and I have accomplished so much more today. My metabolism is also ‘on point’, that is what good quality sleep does for me.

Again, maybe my body just really needed rest, every week must not be go go go. I had not had a nap during the day in a while and maybe that was all my body really wanted.

I did have a lovely nap on Thursday. I’m sure that adds up too.

Bottom line for me — always listen to your body. Put selfcare before activity.
You will achieve everything you want to achieve in due time but make sure that this body is enjoying the process as well. That way, you are always doing the important activities in the best mind frame and physical frame too.

Tomorrow Saturday the 9th of February, 2019 is our first ever accountability diary for Beyond A Dress Size Podcast and I’d be going live on Instagram @BeyondADressSize. Be sure to join me at 9am WAT. I’d be sharing more on how I am using everything I teach in the Purpose Driven Self Care Series for the podcast in my own life. I’d share lessons I have learnt, what has worked for me, what I need to let go off cos it isn’t working.

You will also learn; how I stay accountable, how I miss it on some days and why self care isn’t self perfection.

If you are not on following us on Instagram yet, be sure to do so here.
See you tomorrow, time is 9AM WAT (Lagos, Nigeria).

As I thought about purpose late last year, something became very clear to me

Purpose is defined from day 1 however, the assignments that will lead you to your purpose will be different in different seasons of life.

Many times, it will look or appear very dissatisfactory or annoying like ‘why can’t I just get there on a straight line’. No. There are glories you need to experience and growth processes you need to embrace. A good example of this is the young boy in the book — The Alchemist.

The different seasons in our lives equip us for where we are going. A lot grows in the place of our assignment so let us not relent or become weary in doing good.

Lately I’ve been intrigued by Joseph, David and Joshua.

Joseph had a dream that one day he’d become a ruler and have people bowing to him.

Despite having that dream, he had this excellent spirit everywhere he went. He was diligent, service oriented, super easy to work with and tell your dreams too. Oh and he was fine — #MCM but never for one day did he carry himself with pride saying ‘farming or being a prisoner’ is not in my destiny. This is not where I’m supposed to be. I was made for bigger & higher. No, regardless of the position or circumstance — he always put his best foot forward. He was never disgruntled or discontent (as I type I am being convicted😭😭). I mean he saw people bowing to him in his dreams so how does this present situation relate to being a king?

In every situation he found himself, he had the same witness, diligence & excellence and both at Potiphar's house and the prison, he was always promoted that the ones in charge now relaxed.

Maybe several times he thought, was this the dream? But he never stopped being excellent or diligent. And he was in a country where they served other gods — come to think of it, yet his witness was never ruined.

In the natural order of things, you would expect a different pathway in the preparation to becoming such a great ruler? Naah!! God sure works in mysterious ways doesn’t he?

Give time to meditate on it — who prepares to rule over a nation through slavery and jail term? These are disqualifying factors for anyone campaigning for an election. Oh your ‘opposition’ will so come after you! But when God is working & walking with you and you live in obedience to His word being doers not hearers only — he eliminates everything that disqualifies you. You won’t need to campaign — Kings will speak on your behalf.

It is with this same mindset and understanding that he said to his brothers ‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives’ Gen 50:20.

Think about David’s rise to becoming king — most of us have read books or taken courses on positioning but have we as children of God asked Him to always position us where we should be? On the D-day, all the Gs lined up, they had what it takes in appearance — height, build, muscular definitions and the face. So they were eager to be anointed. Even his own father did not send for him — he was a mere shepherd, not blessed with height and had a Mummy’s boy face so just being with sheep was fine but that is not what God thought.

God sent for him, he was at his place of assignment doing his work diligently. Minding his business, watering his own grass, staying on his lane and enjoying more quiet time with God.

How do I know David was diligent — because for one sheep, he would risk his life going after a lion. He did not say ‘I can’t come & kill myself biko, afterall lion sef must chop’

In that place of assignment, David built the skill God needed. I don’t know what they all are but I think — fearlessness, taking risks, diligence and enjoying your own company were a huge part of it.

I know someone who always says — there is always someone watching you who has the power to bless you but much more than that — God is always watching and wondering ‘will she go? Can I send her’ So what are you doing in your place of assignment? When they come to call you, will you be there? Or will you lock up the sheep to go work on something more important, something fast or whatever?

How do I know what God was thinking?

When Saul went ahead with the sacrifice against Samuel’s instruction. Samuel walked up to Him and said — the Lord has chosen a man after his own heart. I probably first read that scripture in my early 20s but it just tells me that God has a plan for His people here on earth and He is always looking for team members and partners to help Him fulfill it. He can raise one man and pull the other down.

As you walk down the path to your purpose, there will be closed doors, there will be doors that look like they opened to early and you felt unprepared.

But in a few weeks/months/years you realise ‘oh I thought I had it in control, God knew all my timings that I had no idea of’

Relax — God not man determines your destiny

Be diligent, pursue excellence. 10 years from now, we will tell your story. What will it sound like? Or maybe we will not even remember your story.

In all we do, its no just enough to work for today, to work to amass wealth.

Leave a legacy worth sharing.

Ask yourself these questions — I’m I working for the ‘accolades’ that will outlive me.

Will my name or my works be a blessing to generations after me?

Who I’m I investing in today?

I’m I simply living to build a comfortable life for myself or cultivating a faithful life?

I was at the hospital a few months ago and the doctor sent me off to a treatment room immediately — there were lots of needles and intravenous (IV) drugs on the table. Sigh!!! I am scared of needles. Till date I dance before you can put a needle in me but I don’t hesitate to put it in someone else.

Well, I took a good look at everything and politely asked the nurses what they were for. She explained that one of them was an antibiotic. Note that they were yet to collect blood samples for investigations and since I did not have even the slightest fever with my only symptom being nausea, I was surprised. Again, I politely explained that I’d rather prefer the antibiotic withheld until the investigation results were out. PS: there is nothing wrong with empirical antibiotic therapy if it is inline with treatment guidelines but of course treatment guidelines differ in different countries.

Now why do I emphasize politely.

I encourage you to ask questions while seeing your doctor, I believe it is due diligence and your right to know. Remember you are the one being treated, it is on your body that all the investigations and treatments will be carried out on, ask questions, you don’t necessarily need to see your folder you just want to be carried along. Engage your caregiver in a conversation from an inquiry and concern point of view knowing fully well that:

1. Action and reaction are equal and opposite. Your caregiver may be having a bad day, is almost always under pressure and as much as I understand that you are worried and concerned, your manner of approach is key. Wear a smile, say please & thank you.

2. People rarely resist responding nicely when you use sweet words. Hey! Win them over with kindness.

Anyway, back to my treatment.

To their credit, they asked me if I had glaucoma as the other drug was contraindicated in patients with glaucoma. I said No and we commenced the IV infusion. As soon as I was left alone in the room, I picked up my book to read and my vision was blurred. I picked up my phone, same thing.

PS: Now I know it was a transient drug reaction and will likely wear off some minutes after taking the drug but being all alone and not understanding half of the conversations going on around me, I panicked. It was getting worse. I immediately rang the bell for the nurses’ station and as soon as the first person came I did my best to explain the situation. I could not take chances.

This got me thinking, what if I had glaucoma and never knew about it?

Of course, the doctor will not know either. The last time I was in that hospital was 2015 and even if I was a long-standing patient, it was not in my medical history nor my family history.

Why I’m I saying this? In the US, about 98,000 deaths occur from medical malpractice yearly (I don’t have the figures for Nigeria). Note that medical malpractice does not necessarily mean fraudulent or bad practice. Malpractice could occur for the following reasons:

· Patient was absent minded during ‘clerking’ or unengaged and as such did not supply the doctor with all the necessary information that could have been beneficial.

· The doctor had a lot on his mind and missed something — unpaid salaries, family issues, unpaid bills piling up.

· The doctor was judging your case based on what he already knows. Maybe your case is one of those rare cases that come up once every 10 years or the presenting symptoms deviated from the norm.

So, it is your responsibility to ask questions, it is also your responsibility to be fully engaged and cooperative. Be fully present, supply all the answers you have — EVERYTHING. Leave blame games and shame at the gate, you are here to receive treatment and no one is judging you for your previous choices. The doctor sees a myriad of patients and will likely not remember you. No one knows your body or your medical history like you do. You spend more time with your body so you’d be the first to sense when things go wrong. Most importantly, you have loved ones waiting at home for you to return.

After that encounter, my husband (one of the few Nigerians I have met that like going to the hospital) insisted that I go do a glaucoma screening. My response ‘but I am okay why do I need to go?’ I went anyway. I got an all clear. My eyes are fine, which brings me to my last point.

It is bad enough that our poor health seeking behaviors stops us from visiting the hospital when we are ill so we wait until things get really bad and the doctors can’t even help. It is even worse that we completely ignore health checkups, screening and screening campaigns even when they are free. Our argument is usually that ‘we look okay’. We have no problem attending shows, splurging on a vacation and other luxuries but rarely do we consider health screening a priority.

What should you be screening for?

- Blood pressure screening: At least annually from 18 years.

- Blood sugar screening: Every 3 years from age 45 unless otherwise indicated

- Colonoscopy: at age 50 or ten years earlier than the youngest family member with colon cancer; with normal results, colorectal cancer screenings should be completed every 10 years

- Cholesterol: a cholesterol check should be completed in your twenties, and then annually once you turn 35; it will be checked every five years if normal, annually if you have risk factors

- Breast cancer: regular breast self-examination from 18 years with clinical breast examination every 3 years. From age 50, yearly mammogram. If breast cancer runs in your family or you have other risk factors, you may need to begin regular mammograms at an earlier age

- Prostate cancer: prostate screenings start at the age 50 unless you are a high-risk individual then you start at the age of 40.

- Cervical cancer: every 3 years from age 21–65

- Eye checks: Every 1–2 years until the age of 60 and then every year thereafter or more regularly, if you have visual problems or risk factors.

- Bone density tests: For women of age 65, due to osteoporosis that follows menopause.

- Aneurysm test: An abdominal scan for men of 65–75years of who have ever smoked.

These are just a few, see references below to help guide you. Set a reminder to go every year on your birthday or even choose August when the children are on holiday so that the whole family can go.

I agree that it is not your portion, exercise your faith by going for screening — early detection saves lives.

I would love to hear from you? Do you go for screening regularly or are you too terrified they will find something? Lol.

References:

1. Recommended health screenings for all life’s stages

2. Preventive Screening and Guidelines for Healthy Adults

3. http://www.co.gloucester.nj.us/civica/filebank/blobdload.asp?BlobID=4138

4. https://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/guide/milestone-medical-tests-60-up#1

Lessons from my Dad’s home office.

A few years back, most likely 2004 while I was waiting for UNN to lift their time-lag, I had this friend from fellowship, really great guy, great friend and brother we used to exchange letters a lot, I know I still have those letters somewhere — want to know what those letters sound like? Think about the letters Paul wrote to the people he loved. He was that pure and genuine — NO BS.

At some point, he was out of town for a while but I still used to get his letters. Right now I cannot say how our letter exchange thrived in that season but anyway back to the story. He came into town for a program and since he was working (IT) where he was coming from I guess he deemed it fit to bless his friend with something. As I left that evening after the program, he handed me a white envelope. I did not open it till I got home. I’m sure I thought it was another letter and it had been such a long day anyway.

Right now, I can’t remember if it was 2000 Naira or 5000 Naira but I remember vividly that they were crisp 200 Naira Notes and since I was not expecting it, I was pleasantly surprised. Mind you, my Dad worked with CBN so seeing crisp Naira notes was not new to me but this is something I never expected. I went ahead to pen this beautiful letter saying how grateful I was and how I owed him one (LMHO). I’m sure I must have added that he had a blank cheque . Oh well, being that I used my Dad’s home office a lot especially at night (don’t blame me, the office was fully air conditioned with a desktop and internet connection) Daddy found the letter. Gbese!!!!

Firstly, I don’t want to believe I left that letter very carelessly but being that my Dad and I share a bond in curiosity and ‘carefulness’ — the letter was found. So Daddy called me in his very soft spoken manner, he asked me the background story to the letter and I explained myself very well amidst trembling and shivering. I imagined this was going to be my worst day ever — writing letter to a man. . . but my Dad is a real G!!!!

He did not shout. He did not raise his voice. He did not call for neighbors and everyone present to come see the letter.

He just carefully explained to me that the letter I had written was very very indicting. He explained that with that letter, I had put myself in such a position that I could not say No if anything was asked of me and even if I knew saying No was the right thing to do that I would not have the audacity to say No from my current position of negotiation. Wow!!! I understood where the conversation was going. My Dad was a man of few words and heavy wisdom.

He told me to go rewrite the letter and simply say thank you. There was nothing wrong in showing appreciation.

Lesson learnt but you know the best part: He never brought up the issue again, never revisited it and most importantly did not haunt me down for the new version of the letter. Yes, I rewrote the letter and I did indeed write it as I was instructed.

It is important as parents to not only instruct your children and look out for them, it is way more important to show them that you trust them and you are confident they will do the right thing. Notice I was not even shamed for writing an indicting letter in the first place? My Dad was a real G!!

Nothing raises a child’s self esteem like knowing that she/he is trustworthy.

My friend, tutor, helper, teacher, guide, sage, confidante and Father.

Most nights I go to bed thinking of you

Some nights with a smile on my face

Other nights, I shed a few tears

But always, I am thankful for the relationship we had.

For the opportunity to be taken care of by you and to take care of you.

Sometimes I wonder if I did all right by you, did I really show you how much you mean to me, did I honour you as much as I should have

Then I remember that for the most part I was just a child and you loved and cared for you like a Dad. Left for you, I would always be you little girl.

You were always there, willing to provide for me. Making sure I lacked nothing. Putting me first.

My number one cheerleader

Pushing me to be nothing but the very best, now I see where all that drive and ambition came from.

You made it clear that girls had every right to be ambitious and stand tall as much as boys.

To you, feminism did not need to exist. We were all equal.

You told me I could be anything

You told me I could do anything.

You believed in me.

Being a child, I did not believe it half the time. What did I know?

Now I see what you mean and I have come to believe it too for you who had seen death in the face more than once and said NO, not this time — you knew exactly what it meant to soar like an eagle in-spite of and in the face of life’s limitations.

Limitations and impossibilities; two words that failed the entrance exam into your dictionary.

You were never one to back down, hide your head in shame or let fear cloud your sense of hope/reasoning.

Today I soar on those wings of doggedness and NEVER SAY NEVER you left behind.

I doubt I’m everything I think you wanted but I am positive I have made you proud.

Thank you being such an amazing Dad to this Daddy’s girl and most importantly for showing me what it really means to be loved and honoured by a man.

I choose to cry NO MORE but REJOICE in the life that you lived — 59 amazing years of IMPACT.

Forever making you proud,

Kaosisochukwu

As women working to grow our careers, it is so easy to get carried away with the message of ‘go hard’, ‘hustle & grind’ and the very worst ‘sleep when you are dead’. For heaven’s sake, even God rested. I wish we had more self-care messages as much as we had the ‘go hard’ messages.

I used to be that lady who worked 7 days a week. I’d get invited for picnics, hiking, cultural exchange programs and even travel but I’d decline all because of work so even though I had been juggling school work and my business all week, I still pushed myself to WORK on weekends.

In my books, you always needed to show full working. Why sleep when you had work to do. Napping was even a big deal for me cos I’d guilt trip myself for sleeping when there was work to do even though I was not being truly productive in those exhausted-brain-shut-down hours. I did not know how to take breaks from work. I did not understand how beneficial an interplay of rest and sleep was for my beautiful brain.

I WORE STRESS AND OVERWORK LIKE A BADGE OF HONOUR.

Little did I know that I was creating a full proof exhaustion plan for myself. Even on weekends when I was home with my family 25% of me at least was STRESSING about work.

Many of us refuse to create time for play because we run under this falsehood that ‘grinding’ means more, unfortunately research has shown over time that grinding without play not only drains you of your creative juices but causes wear and tear to your brain and body organs.

Play and Rest are the two most underrated ways the body recharges itself.

If you are running low on creative juices then you need to switch off and play. Take a walk, go to a place with a lot of greenery, enjoy the blue skies by the sea and of course the undiluted O2.

Benefits of play.

Making time for play reduces stress and increases your ability to cope when under pressure or stress. When you laugh and play, your body releases serotonin, giving you that natural high to make you feel good. Serotonin is a chemical that regulates many of our most basic processes – including sleep patterns, memory, body temperature, and mood. This means better sleep and lower blood pressure.

By taking the time to relax, enjoy yourself and do things you actually like, you become more mentally awake with an increased capacity to tackle difficult tasks.

You have better memory and concentration when you play. This is because play frees up mental space. It also allows you to make more meaningful connections. Life can get so busy that we grow apart from those that matter. Calling them, seeing a movie or doing something fun together will make you happy and improve your mental wellbeing.

You must always remember that no one is indispensable, go ahead and live life, explore, pay more attention to your surroundings, go on that vacation, do something fun from time to time, your body and soul will thank you.

If you are too serious to consider ‘hide & seek’ as play, here a few options.

Take dance lessons: Dance strengthens the brain especially ballroom dancing. It also improves blood flow to the brain.

Learn a new language: Learning a language is a fun way to age-proof your brain. What language will you love to learn?

Play an instrument – This is very recreational and at the same time strengthens the brain. It’s not too late to learn how to play an instrument. Studies have shown that people who play instruments have a better memory. I set out to learn the guitar but *coversface*

Take up a hobby: Activities that put your hands to work, like knitting, crocheting, and gardening, are proven stress relievers, and they also keep your brain young.

Get Social: No not on social media. Social activities have been found to improve mental agility. So, hey! Go out more, socialize more.

PS: I also make it a point of duty to switch off social media on weekends and every now and then do a social media fast.

Exercise: Don’t roll your eyes. Let’s just call it physical movement. Physical movement can be fun, it doesn’t have to be intense. Remember back in the days when you used to jump rope? Don’t see it as a chore, it can still be fun. Even more fun when you do it with friends and family.

These days, I am learning the value of self-care & self-preservation. I’m sure you are familiar with that airplane analogy; SAVE YOURSELF FIRST. I spend more time these days nurturing my soul and securing that oxygen mask. It is SUPER IMPOSSIBLE to save anyone let alone the world if you are not taking care of YOU FIRST.

Now I consciously push myself out (I still have to talk myself into it) on Saturdays. Health is not just about being physically fit, eating super clean or going on a green diet. Health also includes being mentally fit and, in my opinion, it is even more important. Think about it, only a mentally fit person can take the right daily action to be physically fit. Mental fitness is not the absence of mental illness either, note that there are degrees.

Don’t put yourself on the back burner: PLAY. Find/create opportunities to have a very hearty laughter, go back to doing those favorite things you did as a child that ‘do not make sense’ because it does not have to. It’s like giving your brain a shower, the brain also needs some cleaning out, scrubbing, oiling & wearing fresh clean clothes to function at its best.

Imagine what your life would look like if you did not have a shower for a whole month?

Eeeewww!!! Now imagine the stench oozing from your brain because you have not cleaned it out in donkey years? Now you get my point.

What one ‘does not make sense’ thing will you do this weekend to give your brain a nice long refreshing shower?

Boost your productivity with more play time, schedule it in, be intentional. It won’t happen by accident.

I’m not sure how we got here but today when you use the word exercise, a lot of people even males start hyperventilating and the next thing you hear is ‘I don’t have time’. That phrase is basically a defence for covering up the truth about what is going on in their minds and that truth is simply FEAR. (For this reason, I will use movement and body movement for the rest of this post).

Fear that moving your body will be painful.

Fear that moving your body will cause you so much wear and tear that you can’t endure.

Fear that you don’t have the capacity for it.

The truth about moving your body is that TIME is not the problem. Firstly, a good number of us spend at least an hour on social media SITTING DOWN so it is not about time.

Secondly, it does not have to happen in a gym. It can even happen on your bed (wait, don’t get it twisted. There are a lot of lower body exercises and stretches you can do on your bed). So, if time and money are your excuse for not being in the gym; you don’t need a gym, you don’t even need a very large space to move your body.

Thirdly, the trepidation we feel is likely because when we see videos of people working out, most likely they are in the gym lifting heavy weights and screaming ‘GO HARD or GO HOME’ and then they flex their really huge steroid induced biceps so we tremble at the thought of needing several hours of exercise to attain that or the fact that we do not want to be that muscular especially for women. Note: lifting weights for women will not make you muscular and it is actually very beneficial for your bones and muscles to prevent osteoporosis in the long run.

Fourthly, most people consider body movement as a means to weight loss and so if I don’t need to lose weight, I don’t need to move my body. That is a lie you need to get rid of really quick. The way our bodies were created; our organs, immune system, health, mind and the whole body thrives better when we consistently move from place to place. YOU WERE NOT CREATED/DESIGNED TO BE SEDENTARY.

Lastly, it is important to note that a lot of the routines you see were designed for bodybuilders, so if it scares you leave it — you don’t need it. Walk, dance, skip, swim keep it simple. Don’t be too focused on burning calories that you miss out on the joy in movement.

Every time I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror I just go — Girl!!! Why do you bother working out?

Normally I would just giggle and walk away but recently I had answer. This body is the reason I work out. I want to have energy to fulfill my God given mission here on earth for a long time to come. I understand that people say exercise is energy sapping, maybe yes in the first few days but after Day 3, your body adjusts and you start to appreciate all the benefits of moving your body. The best part is when you get up to work out and you feel like you are not up to it, midway in you are so pumped and excited. Why because exercise has been shown to improve serotonin levels which is a mood enhancer, so not only does it make you happier you also have more energy.

It is not about the 3-hour crash workout you do on Saturdays or the 30 minutes make up workout you do whenever you remember. Find creative ways to move your body, not only will you enjoy it, you will have no reason to hate yourself while you are at it.

Moving my body also helps me keep it toned, massages my heart and muscle and keeps bone diseases at bay. Of course, I get to enjoy the vanity of crushing on my reflection *wink*

Find creative opportunities to move your body; some of us want to go buy cereal round the block, we hop in our cars. Did you know people have lost massive amounts of weight by simply clocking 10,000 steps daily?

Except I go to the gym to attend an hour class (some elderly women stay for 3 classes, never tried it cos I’m running off to go do something else), I clock in minimum of 6000 steps daily and if it’s a day I’m bent on hugging my bed real tight I dance for 10 minutes.

It is not once in a while that counts, it is the simple consistent daily action. At some point your body will even desire more than the 10 minutes and ask for more. Some days you will do 10 minutes, some days 30 minutes. An average of 10 minutes a day 4 times a week is good. But I still encourage you to use your legs more often — walk, walk, walk.

Movement can be fun and it does not have to be hard, really long and nerve wracking to be effective. Sadly, we all know the health benefits but still refuse to do it. Did you know that exercise can reduce depression and improve moods? So instead of relying solely on illicit or prescribed drugs to boost your moods, why not try exercise?

Oh, and if you have been struggling with getting a good night’s sleep, it is time to move your body.

Every quarter on my Facebook page I host The Joy in Movement Series. One of the challenges I know women face is having a fitness routine and making time for body movement.

Although most of us know the benefits of body movements, we literally run away from it, so I do this to show you that you can experience the joy in movement. And most importantly, that you can get in all the benefits of body movement in just 10 minutes 3 times a week.

This series was designed to help you solve the problem of time, money and going to the gym or having to GO HARD. Now you don’t have any excuse. Be sure to start today. You can watch the series for this quarter here.

Helpful tips.

1. Do a few squats/moves while on Netflix.
2. Learn to dance like nobody’s watching
3. Commit to an activity you enjoy and start with twice a week in your room
4. Youtube is your best friend

Constipation is actually a common problem and said to be more common in women. Often, we are too embarrassed to admit this problem until it becomes too painful to bear. Unfortunately struggling to ‘manage’ it on your own can have serious negative effects on quality of life, as well as your physical and mental health.

It may present with other unpleasant symptoms, such as discomfort when going to the bathroom, abdominal bloating and pain due to stools being hard, dry and difficult to pass.

Causes include; foods you eat or avoid, lifestyle choices, ignoring the defecation reflex as soon as it comes, medication or disease. For many people, the cause of their chronic constipation is often unknown.

Regular bowel movement could range from three times a day to once a day to three times a week. If moving bowel is associated with difficulty and pain or less than three times a week, then this is for you. Now, even if this is not for you, I know there are at least three people you can help with this information.

Let’s start with the night before, it’s important to eat at least 3 hours before you go to bed and most importantly, keep the meal light. *sideeyeing* Yes, you can have eba and soup but more soup, less meat, less eba. People who are have difficulty moving bowel do not need to overburden their digestive system with too much workload in terms of food. You’d notice overtime that if you space out your eating time and eat less, it really does help enhance your bowel movement.

Get enough sleep. As simple as this may sound, good quality sleep goes a long way in enhancing your metabolism. You’d be amazed at how much your wellbeing would improve overall if you maintain a regular sleep routine e.g 10pm-5am routine.

Have at least two glasses of ONLY warm or hot water first thing in the morning. If you have a squeeze of lemon juice, add to it but this is not compulsory. Hydrate on an empty stomach.

Find a physical activity you love. I’d say do it in the morning but if you have difficulty sleeping, do it just before bedtime. 10 minutes is all you need. Skipping, deep stretches, dancing, yoga — keep it simple. Even while at work, desist from sitting down all day. Stand up every hour and stretch those legs.

Stay hydrated all day. Drink more ‘warm’ water throughout your day or better still have some more tea — green tea, chamomile, cinnamon, oolong tea, black tea, lavender, homemade ginger tea. *stick with caffeine free options so you don’t have problems sleeping at night*. You can also jazz up your water with some mint leaves, scent leaves or chopped fruits. Set a reminder to help you stay hydrated so you don’t get too busy and forget.

Avoid carbonated drinks and processed food. *bloating and poor digestion from highly processed foods worsen constipation*

Foods to eat: tigernuts, dates, cucumbers, raw aloe vera, bananas, prunes, oats, nuts & seeds, some fruits and vegetables *some vegetables contain insoluble fiber and insoluble fiber can actually be counterproductive in the management of constipation*. Coconuts and coconut water: coconuts are high in fiber and coconut water does have a rich supply of potassium which stimulates bowel movement.

I know we’ve heard that high fiber diets are the be all end all for managing constipation. However, especially for people with chronic constipation; it is impossible to maintain regular bowel movement by simply focusing on high fiber diets. You need this multi-faceted approach.

Lastly, eliminate dairy milk and milk products from your meals for 2–3 weeks and see if you notice any improvement in bowel movement. In some cases, adults with lactose intolerance may experience constipation with consumption of dairy milk.

What works for me: along with the routine shared above; a teaspoon or less of coconut oil first thing in the morning, adding ground flax seeds to my breakfast daily, delaying breakfast for about 2–3 hours after waking up and sometimes a cup of black coffee. Sometimes because black coffee does not always work.

On use of laxatives: In the short-term, laxatives may seem convenient but they are only a short-term cure and don’t have any health benefits. Drugstore laxatives can even be harmful. They contain chemicals that could cause increased thirst, drowsiness, nausea, vomiting and rid your gut of essential nutrients including all the beneficial bacteria that actually aid bowel movement. Prolonged use of some commercial laxatives can lead to nerve damage resulting in decreased bowel function and dependency.

Constipation can be a symptom of an underlying disease, if this is new to you please see your doctor.

And even if it is not new, be very intentional about emptying your bowels regularly as there are long term complications of constipation from hemorrhoids to colon cancer.

Are you in my Facebook community yet? I’d love to connect with you. Come join us at Healthy Yummy Mummies

While we serenade social media with how cool & fulfilling it is being your own boss remember that fulfillment and prosperity are neither tied to entrepreneurship nor a bank balance.

▪️There is one who works a 9–5, earns 8–10 figures, is currently fulfilling purpose at and through his/her job sleeps very well at night and is utterly content. These ones hardly rub it in anyones face.

▪️The entrepreneur at some point will have people working for them and these people will most often work a 9–5 *if not more*.

▪️The one who has 2 side hustles, has a full time job and still derives joy from burning the midnight candle to keep her side hustles blooming. She is content, has found her purpose and is unstoppable.

▪️The one who funds her passion with her 9–5; she is also very very fulfilled and goes to bed at night thankful that she has a 9–5.

▪️There is one who earns just enough to meet her needs. She knows that she is richly blessed cos of the people in her life. She has never lacked. For her fulfilling purpose is raising her children right and she is currently reaping the fruits of her ‘passion’

▪️The entrepreneur who goes through the high highs, low lows and often times loneliness of finding your way and navigatimg uncharted courses. He is thrilled by what he does, its an adrenaline pump. Though a bumpy roller coaster ride, he can’t imagine his life without it. He knows he is fulfilling purpose and he goes to bed with a glad heart and a wide smile.

▪️We all need each other. Like parts of one body, the entrepreneur works into a bank ‘a 9–5’ establishment to conduct transactions. The banker keeps the entrepreneurs money.

▪️Lets not mention that the entrepreneur rather works 24 hours 8 days a week. Unlike a 9–5 where different roles are assigned, the entrepreneur will wear many hearts for a long while and the company’s revenue generation is totally dependent on you.

▪️The many days you want to quit and the myriad of palpitations you suffer in silence wondering if this month will be better than the last, when will the big break come? I’m I wasting my time here? Did I make the right decision? Will my proposal be approved? Everyone is looking to you to pay salaries . .

To crown it all, living fulfilled is relative and contentment is everything.

Everyone cannot be an entrepreneur.

Everyone will not be an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurship is not for everyone.

Some people don’t even realise they need to work on their character but they just keep saying ‘I can’t work for anyone’ If you are not the type of employee people miss for the difference you make (not only bringing sweets and food to work) when you are gone. Chances are you won’t be a great boss either or even manage you and ‘your own gig’ well.

Fulfilling purpose isn’t about quitting your 9–5 or being an entrepreneur. None should look down on the other. Stay on your lane & flourish where you are planted.

Godliness with contentment is great gain.

My favourite scripture: “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.”

1 Peter 5:6–7 MSG

PS: entrepreneurship here refers to being your own boss, calling the shots and running your own gig but I guess if you work a 9–5 and sell clothes to your colleagues you are an entrepreneur abi?

🧘🏼‍♀️THE END!!!

It was 7 years ago as a house officer (intern) at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), thanks to my consistent bad eating habit; a large doughnut and a bottle of soda for breakfast, a pack of biscuits (HobNobs) and juice during call hours - I gained weight overtime and decided to join a gym. I’m not sure this decision was influenced by the weight gain as much as it was influenced by the fact that the nearby gym I discovered was really clean, had a shower more like a jacuzzi (running water was a nightmare every now and then in LUTH) and good music too. It had a really nice ambience.

So off to the gym I went and I was consistent too. The trainers made me go so hard (I ended up with a swollen knee cap one of those days and a compulsory bed rest to go with it). Some of the routines really stretched me and I got compliments saying I was really flexible after a yoga class, which felt good *wink* but. . . . . I was not losing weight. Though a medical doctor, I did not know much about weight loss and nutrition so after three weeks of going hard at the gym I weighed myself and had gained weight. Say what!!!! All that energy I was putting in, how come? The trainer eloquently explained to me in his ‘Britmerican’ accent that I was building muscle hence the weight gain. According to him, in the first few weeks of intense physical activity (I’m sure he meant hard labour), you don’t lose weight instead you build muscle and then after a while you start losing weight. What did I know? I agreed with him.

Like me 7 years ago, I’m sure you can comfortably name 3 people you know who have pretty gym clothes/ensemble, never miss a day at the gym but have still not lost weight. So if going to the gym or exercising is very crucial for weight loss, how come most of the people in there are not losing weight?

To at least lose one pound a week (which for sustainable weight loss is the most ideal), you need to create a deficit of 500 calories everyday. That brings it up to 3500 calories at the end of the week.

The truth is:

1. You can't ‘out exercise’ your bad food choices. You see, if it was as easy as go to the gym and eat healthy, nobody will be struggling with their weight. Worse still, we have a limited capacity to control what goes out. Most experts/studies suggest you burn an average of 100 calories after running a mile and you burn more calories while working out if you are in a larger body. It is HARD to keep up with burning 500 calories every week.
2. The concept of ‘calorie in calorie out’ should not be mistaken to mean that you can expend as much calories as you consume. You cannot burn in one day the 2500 calories or more you consume in a day.Also bear in mind that all calories are not equal.
3. Weight loss is science and as such relies on a minimal calorie deficit to compound in weight loss over time. Emphasis on minimal because if you create a huge calorie deficit, your body quickly responds by slowing down metabolism which means you stop losing weight. It is even worse when you are ‘going hard’ in the gym and cruelly restricting calorie intake.
4. After physical activity, most people really feel famished and may just need to drink water or snack on an equivalent of one boiled egg to feel better . However, our brains trick us into rewarding ourselves with food for a job well done so we eat even more consoling ourselves in the fact that we will ‘out exercise’/spend that tomorrow. Sadly, that is a failed formula. What happens is even though you are burning 100–150 calories daily during exercise, you are probably eating an extra 250 calories and not letting that calorie deficit take place.

Now we have established one basic fact — if your nutrition is not properly cared for, going hard at the gym CANNOT aid weight loss. Note: most people will lose weight by focusing on their nutrition without intense physical activity but no one can lose weight by focusing on intense physical activity alone.

Imagine having to take stock of everything you ate with the intent to burn it at the gym the next day. Take this image I found on Google for example, let's say you’ve had your regular meal and for snack, you opted for tortillas, coke and oreos. What would your life look like at the gym tomorrow?

I so don’t want to be you.

Now think about it — Would you rather spend 3 hours in the gym or choose your foods wisely, eat mindfully and watch your portions? You Choose!

Need help figuring out how to win with portion control? Join my Facebook community — Healthy Yummy Mummies (trust me its not exclusive to mums). I kicked off a portion control training series this week and we would round it off over the weekend with a portion control challenge.

Remember, eating too much of any meal or snack even if you think its super-healthy can mean the difference between feeling great about your progress and being frustrated about all that effort you put in.

PS: I was at LUTH last year and at least 3 people walked up to me and said, ‘did you work here before?’ As soon as I reply ‘YES”. They narrow their eyes, give me a look over and say ‘but you were chubby then’. Lol! I guess that was a mild word for saying you were bigger/in a larger body/fatter then. I did take it as a compliment for a job well done and most importantly without a gym membership.