I reached home late that night. My street was filled with Halloween decorations. I stood outside my house and searched for the key in my bag. I dug deep and something sharp cut my hand. I took my hand out of the bag and my fingers were bleeding. I looked into the bag and it was a knife. It had a note attached to it, which had my blood all over it. I opened the note with trembling hands and it read, “You have one hour before you will be killed. Time to say good-bye.” My heart stopped. I started sweating and immediately dialed Carter from my cellphone.

“Hello!” said Carter, my husband, who just had to be working late!

“Hello, Carter! I.. Can you come home?” I said, between rapid breathing.

“What happened? Are you okay?” asked Carter.

“I..I’m fine.” I said. “Just come home. Soon.”

As I was waiting, I looked at the time on my watch. It was Friday, October the 13th ,2017, 9.20 PM. I looked at the note once again, trying to recognize the handwriting. It looked like a child’s. And then I recognized it! It was mine! My mind raced to October 13th,1995. 22 years ago. I was 8 years old. I was playing in my neighborhood. Emilia was our neighbor. She was a middle-aged woman who lived in a huge house and did not like company. As a kid, my parents used to warn me not to hang out with her. “The crazy witch”, the neighborhood called her. On that very day, I always playing outside her house with my friends, when I heard a “meow”. I saw a cat on her front yard and wanted to play with it. As I opened her gate, I noticed a knife on the ground. As a curious child, I picked it up and hurt myself. It led to a scar on my finger, which I still had. I looked at my hand. I was bleeding at the same spot now. Emilia died the next day. When the police discovered the body, the same knife was found on her.

In the distance, I heard a car approaching, which brought me back to reality. I turned around hoping to see Carter. It was Carter’s car. It stopped right in front of my house. But, it was Emilia who got out, and not Carter. I dropped the knife and my bag. My mind couldn’t make sense. She was supposed to have died many years ago.

She laughed hysterically as she got out of the car and said, “Ah! There you are!”. I wanted to run but stood frozen. Blood was still dripping from my fingers. She stopped next to me and said, “They didn’t like us. People told stories of witches just to scare kids. They don’t know we are real. I have been looking for a place to hide in, for 22 years now,” she said as I felt a sudden jolt shoot across my body. A chill passed through my spine. I felt something weird. Like I was rising above the ground. I looked down. My body was lying down on the grass. The car had disappeared and so had Emilia’s spirit.

Ten minutes later, Carter pulled up on my front yard. He got out and rushed to my body. He shook my body violently, until the eyes opened.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

I noticed the fingers had stopped bleeding but the scar remained.

“I am fine. I’m sorry, I think I fell sick.”, my body spoke. She spoke in my voice!

“It’s okay!”, Carter said, picking my body up, as he opened my door with his house key.

I watched from above, as Emilia turned towards me for a split second. She smiled her wicked smile.

Sometimes it’s your room mate cooking your favorite food

Sometimes it’s your friend’s listening ears

Sometimes it’s your’s family’s unwavering support

Sometimes it’s your pet

Look for kindness in the world

And you will find it

You saw me weep –

A red-eyed, shrieking, breathless monster

You wept too

You saw me laugh

Portraying the unadulterated joie de vivre

You laughed too

When we were six

You saw me count

One, two, three plus one, two — five

You repeated after me

When we were ten

You stole my lunch — every day

Puri, potatoes, chocolates — everything

After you realized I was stealing yours

When we were thirteen

You saw me being sent out of class

Once again, I did not do my homework

“I did not do it, Miss”, you said

No, you lied

You got sent out too

When we were sixteen

You joined my physics tuition

I learned physics

You learned your first crush’s phone number

I failed in physics tests

You failed in “love”

Your first heartbreak

No, OUR first heartbreak

When we were eighteen

I joined Engineering

You joined Medicine

I had arrears

You had your first beer

We had our second heartbreak together

Only this time, it was my crush

When we were twenty-one

You saw me move to another city –

Red-eyed, shrieking, breathless monster

You hugged me tight at the airport

We made promises to never fall apart

When we were twenty-four

You found your true love

I flew down for your wedding

And there, I found my true love

When we were thirty

We met after six years

You, your wife, your two-year old son

Me, my wife, my one-year old daughter

Our kids cried a lot

We cried too

I think we cried more

When we were forty

You saw me cry at my wife’s funeral

Not a read-eyed, shrieking, breathless monster

But, worse

When we were fifty

We watched our kids fall in love with each other

We watched them smile and laugh

Portraying the unadulterated joie de vivre

What a sight!

When we were sixty

We watched our kids get married

“You are now family”, said your son

Does he not know?

That we have always been?

Now we are eighty

I am searching for my glasses

You are searching for your dentures

I know you are hiding my glasses

Because I am hiding your dentures

“Ma’am, please turn off your mobile phone.”, said the smiling air hostess. She gave a fake smile and looked at the photo of her husband on her phone. She switched off her phone. A few announcements were made by the pilot but she was not paying attention. As she watched outside the window, she saw a raindrop making its course on the window glass. Another drop of water fell — this time, from the corner of her eye. She shut her eyes tight and tried not to cry. At least not loudly. The plane took off.

*********

She woke up to the sound of the pilot’s announcement. “We have reached Delhi”, he said. She looked outside. It was a warm sunny day. She checked the time on her watch. Five minutes past eight. “Khan would have woken up now.”, she thought.

The flight landed and she collected her bags from the overhead compartment. She switched on her phone and she had received a text message. “Hope you reached safely. Give me a call when you are all set. Love you!”, it read. She smiled and collected the bags from the overhead compartment.

Once she was outside the airport, she called for a taxi. As she sat in and the taxi took off, she checked her watch. Forty-five minutes past eight. “He must be getting ready to leave.”, she thought. She called him up.

“Hello, Miss. Wife! How is it going?”, he asked. “I just left the airport. Did you have breakfast? What did you have?”, she enquired. “A bowl of oats. Something feels wrong though! I must be the only idiot on the planet who cannot make a bowl of oats right!”, he said laughing. “I’m sorry!”, she said, her voice breaking down.

*********

It was three months ago. She received her admit from one of the top institutes in the country. She had always wanted to get an MBA. It had been her dream. Not her aunt’s though. Her parents had passed away in an accident when she was ten years old. She was brought up by her mom’s sister and her husband. They had provided all the basic care — even more than what her parents’ savings made possible. They had been kind to her. They sent her to a reputed university in Chennai. She always came top of her class.

As she turned 20, they felt that she should get married — “settle down”, as many would say. It was not that she did not want to. But, she also wanted to study further. But, she did not want to be a burden to them anymore and had reluctantly agreed to an arranged marriage.

Khan was not her typical “knight in shining armor”. Yes, he was tall. He was handsome. He was well placed in a very reputed corporate company. But, somehow she found it quite impossible to “fall in love” with someone she had just met.

They got married a few months after she got her Bachelor’s degree. The first few weeks in a new home were a bit intimidating. But, her in-laws were quite kind to her. They did not impose any new rules on her. She had enough freedom — freedom to choose between staying at home or going for work. She chose the latter.

“But, I have always wanted to study more. A bachelor’s is not enough for me, Khan!”, she said. He did not talk for a few minutes. He read the admit letter in his hand for the third time. “This is such a good opportunity. My company is sponsoring and it is such a good university!”, she said. He did not look convinced. “Please, just two years. It is my passion.”, she said.

A few days passed. She had given up hopes. She knew some sacrifices were always made when it came to a marriage. She was happy to get a husband like Khan. He took very good care of her. For someone who did not have parents growing up, her in-laws made her forget that they were her in-laws. They were like her own family. She thought it was okay to give up on her dream.

That night, after dinner, Khan took her out for a drive. “You can go.”, he said. She did not believe what she heard. “But, I though Amma and Appa were against it.”, she said, “Plus, it is going to be hard on you.”. “They are still not 100 percent okay with it. But, I convinced them today.”, he said and took her hand in his. “You said it was your passion. You should always follow your passion.”, he said. She had never felt this happy. She could not believe what she was hearing. “Just two years. Thanks so much.”, she said through her tears.

*********

“I’m sorry!”, she said, her voice breaking down.

“Hey, it’s okay. Remember, it was my decision to send you.”, he said. She reached her apartment. The next one week was hectic. She had to set up her apartment, enroll for classes and choose which ones she liked. But, as hectic as they were, they were also exciting. Being in a class room, learning something new everyday was something she had missed in the last one year.

A couple of months passed and she was topping her classes, as usual. But, something made her sad. She was not as happy doing well here as she had been in her undergraduate studies. She missed Khan.

In the last one year, she had not only found her husband, she had also found her lover and her best friend in him. He was a man of habits and she learned his habits. How he woke up at eight everyday, how he liked his coffee everyday (the exact same amount of coffee powder, milk and sugar, all in the right proportion), how he wore his watch before he made his tie (and never the other way around) everyday. She was missing it all. She wanted to finish the course as soon as possible and fly home.

*********

It was her birthday. She was fast asleep on her assignment on the table when the phone rang. It was Khan. It was 12 midnight. She yawned and picked up the call. “Hey, baby!”, he said. “Hi, Khan!”, she said, looking at the assignment and the empty and ineffective coffee cup on the edge of the table. “Happy birthday, princess!”, he said. “Thanks! I miss you. I wish you were here now.”, she said, tears welling up in her eye. “Could you open the door?”, he asked. “What? Now? Have you arranged to send flowers? Aren’t you such a romantic!”, she laughed and went to the door. “You’ll see, baby!”, he said.

She opened the door and froze. There he was! He had a bouquet in his hand and his American Tourister on the other. She could not believe her eyes. He came in and hugged her. “You were right. Here are your flowers! Happy birthday!”, he said, giving her the flowers. She did not talk a word. She was still in shock.

He brought his American Tourister inside and he jumped on the couch. “I have a long day tomorrow. It is my first day at the Delhi branch. I have to impress my new colleagues.”, he said. She still had not spoken a word. “I got a transfer to Delhi, baby.”, he said. She rushed to him with joy. “How about Amma and Appa?”, she enquired. “They will be fine.”, he said taking her palm in his. “I could not stay away from you. Something strong made me get a transfer”, he said. “What?”, she asked.

“Passion. You are my passion. We should always follow our passion, shouldn’t we?”

Imagine if you had only one choice of food for breakfast. Imagine if all your clothes were of the same kind. Or worse, imagine if all your clothes were of the same kind, of the same color and had the same design.

Now, imagine if everyone you met were the same. How would it be if they acted the same way and said the same things?

One of the simple beauties of life is the choices it gives us. This also gives you and me an opportunity to choose to be what we want.

You don’t have to be a rebel. Or you do. You don’t have to conform to the expectations of others. Or you do.

What you choose to do is up to you. Be you.

Always choose to be you.

Image courtesy: http://www.lovethispic.com/image/104115/heart-from-colored-pencils

Would you see the Sun’s rays

Or feel the passing of nights and days

If there was no darkness?

Would a tulip bloom

If it did not have some room

For it to spread its arms?

Would you notice the beauty of spring

Or the sweet songs that the birds sing

If there was no winter and quiet before?

We sing songs and write odes

To all the happiness bestowed

Upon us

But, do we realise the truthful remark

That without the dark

There is no light?

Some days that are filled with an overcast sky

Turn beautiful with rain, when the clouds cry

And I feel that, in the clouds too, there is infinite beauty

Light and Dark was originally published in the Cafe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

We all want to cross the oceans and continents.

We want to wander. We want to go back to the nomadic ages and make temporary settlements.

We leave our homes in search of something new.

Only to end up wanting to make the new place our home.

It is then we feel –

It is then I felt

The inevitable feeling of wanting to go back

To familiar places and faces,

To the views I took for granted and the food I took for granted,

To waking up to my dad’s face and my mom’s kisses.

I want the end of every journey,

Every road,

Every path I take,

To be the same.

I want to go back home.

I sit on the rack as the Sun shines

On me, my pink hue glistening

Polka dots and a bow cover me

I am ready to be buckled up

I look expectantly at everyone who comes near

Will I be picked? Today? Tomorrow?

It was day eleven

Rosie walks towards me

“Baby shoes”, she reads the sign above me

“Look at this!”, she says to her husband

Who picks me up

Love at first sight? You bet!

An hour later I am a new member of his home

I noticed the baby bump on Rosie

The very first time I saw her

What I noticed more

Was her hazel eyes

Complimenting her blonde hair

I hear them discussing

I hear Rosie say it could be any day now

They wait anxiously for the day

So do I, to finally see little Emma

The day arrives and I see Rosie

Screaming in pain

They take her away

I wait anxiously

I wait for two full days

Before they return home

I hear them opening the door

I see Rosie come in

I see her husband come in

But, where is little Emma?

Where is Emma?

Rosie does not eat well

All she does is cry

I wish I could too

But, I’m only material

One Fall day

I am put in a box and taken to the store

I am placed on the same rack

Just as before