Back in the 1950s, a bedridden man faced certain death from cancer of the lymph nodes. Tumors the size of oranges had invaded the man’s neck, groin, chest, and abdomen.

The prognosis was certainly grim. The only long shot hope was a new experimental cancer drug called Krebiozen.

Three days after initial treatment, the man was out of bed and joking with nurses. As treatment continued, his tumors shrunk in half.

Ten more days later, he was discharged from the hospital — the cancer was gone. Strangely enough, none of the other cancer patients treated with Krebiozen showed any improvement.

Stranger still, a few years later it was conclusively determined that Krebiozen had no therapeutic value whatsoever. The treatment was an unintentional sham.

This is one of the more amazing examples of what’s known as the placebo effect. Almost as interesting is the nocebo effect, where you experience the side effects of a medication you only think you’re taking.

In either case, your mind impacts your physical body. And these symptoms are not simply “imagined,” but are instead the result of measurable physiological changes involving shifts in our hormones and neurotransmitters.

Believe it or Not

This brings us to the quote up top attributed to Henry Ford. It sounds like the type of stupefying cliché you might hear at a self-help seminar in a dimly-lit Holiday Inn banquet room, but it’s a real thing.

“Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you’re right,” is a succinct summation of the Galatea effect, otherwise known as a self-fulfilling prophecy:

The Galatea effect suggests that when we believe in our abilities to achieve a goal, the more likely we’ll be to achieve it. However, when we don’t believe in our capabilities, the more likely we’ll be to not achieve results. Our success depends on our conviction that we can achieve our goals.

One of the most recognizable instances of the Galatea effect is the difference between a fixed and growth mindset. The only difference between a fixed mindset that keeps you stagnant, and a growth mindset that allows you to flourish in ways you might never have imagined, is the authentic belief that growth and change are possible.

Belief — that’s it, and sometimes that’s everything.

It’s No Secret

Phenomenon like these may sound like validation for various New Age self-help concepts, such as the massively best selling book The Secret. Unfortunately, the “law of attraction” is pure pseudoscience.

Also, simplistic positive thinking doesn’t work as advertised either. Scientific research continues to show that simply denying the difficulties of a situation will only lead to worse outcomes.

So what makes the difference between wishful thinking and the true power of belief?

The psychological term behind the Galatea effect is self-efficacy, which means the extent or strength of your belief in your own ability to do a particular thing. In other words, belief + action is the only secret formula you need.

When you’re pushing yourself further, you need some form of realistic plan that creates true confidence that the goal is attainable. By laying the right groundwork and taking small steps in the right direction, you’ll find that you’ll start to believe that you can do it — and so you do.

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In the perennial best-seller The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, an old man who calls himself the “king of Salem” tells a story to the shepherd boy Santiago.

It’s about a shopkeeper who sends his son to discover the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world, who lives high atop a mountain. After a forty-day journey, the boy arrives at a beautiful castle bustling with people engaging in trade, playing music, and enjoying food.

After finally gaining the attention of the wise man, the boy is told by the enlightened one that he doesn’t have time to explain the secret of happiness just yet. The sage suggests that the boy look around the palace for a couple of hours while carrying a teaspoon containing two drops of oil.

The boy is instructed to not to let the oil spill while he explores.

He walks all over the palace for two hours, eyes fixed on the spoon. The boy then returns to the wise man, who asks him what he’s noticed. The fine Persian tapestries? The magnificent garden? The beautiful parchments in the library?

The boy embarrassingly admits he’s seen nothing, as he was so intent on not spilling the oil. The wise man sends the boy away again to witness the marvels of the world around him. This time, the boy soaks it all in, and returns to share everything he’s seen in great detail.

“But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?” asks the wise man. The boy looks down and realizes the oil on the spoon is gone.

At this point, the wise man reveals his secret:

“Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,” said the wisest of wise men. “The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never forget the drops of oil on the spoon.”

Santiago the shepherd boy immediately understands this story shared by the king of Salem. A shepherd may love to travel, but he should never forget about his flock.

Does Traditional Retirement Make Sense?

We’ve been told a different kind of story. A story where we spend our entire working lives watching the drops of oil on the spoon. Then, once we pass a magical age marker, we can see all the marvels of the world.

That’s why I’m so drawn to the idea of unretirement. Instead of bifurcating our lives into work and non-work at the economic meridian of age 65, the idea is to integrate work and wonder. That’s something you can start making happen right now and continue with as long as you’re willing and able.

Contrast that approach with the fact that more than half of people end up not enjoying retirement (and that’s those who can afford it in the first place). You’re supposed to be happy to quit working and give up the sense of purpose you’ve cultivated in your life for the remainder of your life, which makes no sense.

Doesn’t beginning to create your own integrated approach now make more sense? The true moral of the story is one of integration between purpose and adventure, obligation and exploration.

Livin’ La Vida Integrada

Integration works on a more basic life level as well.

Health, wealth, and personal growth are not independent categories that you should make trade-offs between. Your life is all one integrated whole, where each component enhances the others to equal something more than the sum of its parts.

Exercise, nutrition, and sleep keep you healthy and also increase your mental clarity and cognitive efficiency for work and investing. Work brings you money and purpose, while also leading to growth as you encounter and overcome challenges. A growth mindset leads you to take on personal projects that alter your identity.

Next thing you know, you’re a better version of you — and have more incentive to take care of yourself so you can keep going. It’s the virtuous cycle of living your best life.

I’m not talking about work-life balance, which has always been a bit of a farce. It’s more about an integrated approach to your entire life that makes the most of every day on all fronts.

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Can you hear me out there?

Are you sure?

I only ask because the media, big brands, and advertisers in general seem to think I don’t exist. And that’s because I’m over the age of 50.

(Add in the fact that I’m Generation X and yes, I’m pretty much invisible.)

This has been going on for much longer than the point when our generation first hit 50. Historically, advertising aimed at older people tends to be “condescending at best, offensive at worst.”

As Jeff Beer writing for Fast Company puts it:

The world of oldsvertising is a hellscape full of reverse mortgages, erectile dysfunction pills, and bathtubs that won’t kill you.

I’m sure you’ve notice all you hear about in the mainstream media is Gen Z. Before that, it was all Millennials, all the time. And that’s because of who pays the bills — advertisers.

Brands are obsessed with the young even when it’s illogical. I don’t know about you, but the only substantial amounts of money my Gen Z kids have access to is mine.

What makes the demographic cut-off point of age 49 even more maddening is the fact that the kids will soon be vastly outnumbered by older people, and they won’t be catching up anytime soon (if ever).

Consider these stats:

• Currently, people aged 50 or older make up over 35% of the total U.S. population. By 2030, there will be 132.3 million people over the age of 50, and by 2050, 157.3 million.
• The 50-plus age cohort contributes $8.3 trillion to the U.S. economy each year, or 40% of the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
• In 2030, when every Gen Xer is 50+ and the eldest Millennials begin to join us, the 50-plus age group will contribute $12.6 trillion to the U.S. economy.
• According to 2030: How Today’s Biggest Trends Will Collide and Reshape the Future of Everything, increases in our healthspans could propel the worldwide “gray market” to $20 trillion by 2030.

In other words, the gray market is a goldmine. So why are brands so bad at marketing to us?

Probably because businesses are not only obsessed with selling to the young, they’re obsessed with hiring the young and putting the wise out to pasture:

Age discrimination against Americans age 50-plus cost the U.S. economy $850 billion in 2018. The Economic Impact of Age Discrimination [report] found that the potential economic contribution of the 50-plus age cohort could increase by $3.9 trillion in a no-age bias economy, which would mean a contribution of $30.7 trillion to GDP by 2050.

As you can see, ageism hurts the bottom line and the broader economy across the board. Will big brands wake up to this demographic shift that’s been coming for decades?

I don’t see how they can avoid it based on basic math. The question is, who are they going to get to communicate with us — some 20-something copywriting whiz fresh out of school?

Good luck with that.

The point is, we’re already the most entrepreneurial age group. So if you’re considering starting up your own mentor model business, why not serve your own age group?

The key to connecting with a particular type of person — whether as a big brand or a small shop — is to speak the language preferred by the audience. In this case, I’m betting on us.

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It’s easy to dwell on the downside of being an Xer.

You know, like when the news media ignores us, or that we’re underappreciated at work, or that we have the most debt and not enough retirement savings.

Of course we take such things in stride, often with a bit of self-deprecating pride. It’s what we do, and what we’ve always done. This life is a comedic tragedy.

But it’s also because we know the real story goes a bit differently. Or I suspect so.

I suspect we know that even though we’re treated as the forgotten “middle children” between Boomers and Millennials, the truth is we’re really at the center of it all.

The pop culture of us

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is one prime example. Through 21 films over the last decade, the MCU has raked in over $18.5 billion, with the upcoming Avengers: Endgame certain to push that well beyond the $20 billion mark.

There’s a reason for that. And that reason is us.

The entire arc of the MCU has been orchestrated by Gen X producer Kevin Feige. He started by anchoring the shared universe with a redemptive role for one of our generation’s finest actors, and followed with a plethora of references (like this one) that are aimed squarely over the heads of the kids we share the theater with.

Feige ensures that Generation X is far from forgotten, given that we brought Marvel Comics to its height back in the early 80s. And we certainly don’t care what Boomer Bill Maher thinks about superheroes.

Meanwhile, Gen Xer J.J. Abrams is ready to conclude the Skywalker story that began in 1977 when he was a mere lad. As with Marvel, these are “kid” stories that are in no way aimed exclusively at kids — they’re baked into the culture itself.

And then there’s sports:

• Tiger Woods wins the Masters at 43.
• Gen Xer Serena Williams is still a bad ass.
• Tom Brady, born in 1977, just earned another Superbowl ring.

Maybe we just don’t yap constantly about which age group we’re in? Like, ummm … everyone else?

The technology that changed the world

All of that is truly kid stuff compared with our influence on the technology that has reshaped the world. It remains to be seen what type of world we’ve created, but no one can say Gen X hasn’t had a remarkable impact.

We were originally labeled “slackers” due to our disinterest in mimicking the hypocrisy of the Boomers. But once Cobain died and the internet arrived, Generation X saw a chance to truly change the world.

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos just missed the mark, born in 1964. But Google’s Larry Page and Sergy Brin, Tesla’s Elon Musk, Twitter’s Jack, Biz, and Ev, and even Michael Dell — they’re all Gen Xers. In fact, 55% of startup founders are from Generation X.

Slackers my ass.

But who seems to get all the press? Millennial Mark Zuckerberg, who probably wishes now that he received less media attention. Never forget, however, that it’s his Gen X Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg who gets much of the credit for the incredible growth of Facebook.

More than our contribution to popular culture, and beyond the rapid changes that resulted from the tech startups we’ve founded … there’s something even bigger.

Our formative years represent an inflection point where just about everything changed — and that’s why we can never be ignored.

The last generation

We were the kids who lived through an incredible shift from “the way things were” to our current post-modern reality. In some cases we made the changes happen, while in others we merely slogged our way through as best we could.

We were the first to play video games. We made “alternative” music mainstream, and “indie” films popular. The last original form of musical expression — hip hop — happened on our watch, and is now the most popular music in the world.

Because we’re the final generation to remember what it was like before the internet, we’re still building the bridge from analog to digital. That’s anything but irrelevant — it’s currently everything.

Since we’ve begun adulting, things have merely evolved more than they’ve truly changed. Our version of popular culture (both now and then) is also the culture of those who came after.

It’s one big melting pot of memes, 80s and 90s nostalgia, and obscure references as an art form. In other words, our version of the world is the world:

“Gen Xers laid the political, intellectual, social, creative and personal ground upon which the Millennials today walk, talk and text,” writes Christine Henseler, a professor at Union College in Schenectady, New York.

It’s not just Millennials.

As the father of two Gen Z teenagers, I see — for better or worse — that we created the framework they inhabit. There’s nothing they’re down with that shocks me, and I can explain (to glazed-over eye rolls) the influences that inform their obsessions.

In other words, there is no longer a generation gap. We’re the first group of parents who hate the music our kids listen to not because it’s too loud, but because it’s derivative and doesn’t rock hard enough.

One generation to rule them all

Let’s face it … it’s only marketers who explicitly ignore us, and that’s because they can. It’s all one big cultural cohort now, so there are really only two groups to consider — Boomers and their elders (who truly need different messaging) and everyone after (so far).

A perfect example of the latter is the success of Stranger Things on Netflix. It’s a show about us when we were kids that seems to entrance Millennials and Gen Z, even though they refuse to believe we had that much unsupervised freedom.

(Oh, but we did.)

For a show about Gen Xers infused with so many sly references and 80’s film homage, the most startling fact about Stranger Things is that the creators are Millennials who were born in 1985. That’s right — the show they so adoringly craft takes place right before they got here.

Growing up in the 80s belongs to everyone now, somehow. I’ve recently noticed the same thing applies to the 90s as well. Our culture is their culture.

Here’s the point, since I don’t really think we of all people need a self-esteem boost. Playing the “no one pays attention to us” card is not only false, it’s a cop-out.

This is our world. We own it, we’re creating it, and we have a responsibility to make it better.

Let’s go to work.

Further is a weekly email with the best hand-picked health, wealth, and
personal growth resources for Generation X. Join us here.

From the December 19, 2018 issue of Further

A few weeks back, I heard someone say that when people talk about focusing on process instead of results, it sounds idealistic. For me, this was a Princess Bride moment — I don’t think that word means what that person thinks it means.

An idealist is someone who envisions a perfect situation other than current reality, which is the opposite of someone who keys in on process. In other words, idealists are completely focused on the outcome, but not necessarily the work it takes to form new habits and improve in the direction of that outcome.

This is why so many people ultimately give up on their goals, because achieving the ideal in your head is harder than you think, and often impossible. Meanwhile, focusing on process is a surer path to improvement, and largely within your control.

Focus on what you can control

Let’s say you’re a guy who wants to add ten pounds of muscle in six months. That’s a doable goal for most men, but not necessarily within your control. Life, work, and your own genetics may make the achievement impossible within that time frame.

But you can instead resolve to create the habit of lifting weights. Make it a priority to get to the gym three times a week. If you miss a day, fine — just try hard not to miss two in a row.

You’ll have good, bad, and middling days for strength advances. But when your goal is to simply show up and lift, you win every time you walk through that door.

And guess what? Eventually you’ve got the muscle, and a habit that ensures you can keep it.

Structure and consistency for the win

It’s natural to head into a new year with resolutions and goals, but just 8% of us will be successful at getting our desired outcomes. Change your focus, though, and the success rate for significant improvement (rather than specific achievement) goes way up.

It’s all about structure and consistency. “Everything we see about success rate says that the most important thing is to structure your goals so you can be consistent,” says Drake Baer, author of Everything Connects.

What is meant by structure and consistency? Small actions that compound by being repeated over and over — also known as process. This is the key to your improvement in 2019, and there’s nothing idealistic about it.

From the December 19, 2018 issue of Further

None of the pioneering social media platforms — Friendster, MySpace, and Digg — maintained their dominance. That’s because the very network effects that allowed them to grow rapidly ended up working against them when people decided to move on.

It’s for this reason that I predicted years ago that Facebook would not persist as a dominant social media platform. It’s taken longer than I thought, but the decline is beginning — and it couldn’t happen to a more deserving group of people.

This anti-social media sentiment is everywhere as we head toward 2019. And it may present an entrepreneurial opportunity for you.

Recently, Reddit cofounder Alexis Ohanian said that we’ve hit “peak social,” and that users will migrate away from social networks to more community-focused platforms. Author and computer scientist Cal Newport continues to warn of the many evils of social media, while advocating a more “indie” approach to online connection rather than Silicon Valley platforms.

The rise of niche online communities

“Community” was the original internet business buzzword, and plenty of companies have bungled the concept badly over the last 20 years. But it’s quite possible to get it right by balancing the needs of the community members with a business model that sustains the group.

I’ve been building online communities tied to business education since 2007. The general rule of thumb has been that people initially purchase for the education, but stay due to the connections they make in the community.

Now, community itself is taking the lead. With the array of quality free information plus the proliferation of affordable online courses, it’s the inspiration, connection, and sense of belonging with like-minded others that people realize is worth paying for.

Yes, people will pay for online connection

Originally, no one thought people would pay for online community. But since ad-supported social media went mainstream, people now know that if they’re not paying for the product, they are the product.

Long after Facebook’s audience dwindles to a tiny fraction of its peak, they’ll still be monetizing the data we gave them freely all these years. That can’t be put back in the box.

On the other hand, online entrepreneurs can now develop community commerce models that fill the gap left by former social media giants. A paid community weeds out trolls and eliminates much of the ugliness of free social platforms.

Serving the needs of the community begins with you belonging there as well — but you still have to run it like a business. An ethical business, I should add.

Hear that, Zuckerberg?

Don’t make these 4 mistakes when you’re building an online community (Fast Company)

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From the December 12, 2018 issue of Further

Blame silly books like The Secret. Or blame Oprah for promoting silly books like The Secret.

Whichever way you go, the result remains the same — spending your time thinking positively about the things you’d like to happen in your life is a waste of time.

Creating a realistic plan of action will serve you much better than silly wishing. And realistic optimism certainly can’t hurt, as long as you’re also taking the required steps toward getting where you want to be.

But are there times when positive thoughts alone can help you? Actually, yes.

Your brain is a negative creep

All thoughts are not created equally. For some evolutionary reason, we tend to focus much more on negative thoughts than positive ones.

In Dr. Rick Hanson’s Hardwiring Happiness, the neuropsychologist explains that our brains are wired toward the negative. For example, if we have ten experiences during the day, five neutral everyday experiences, four positive experiences, and one negative experience, we are probably going to think about that one negative experience before going to bed that night.

This tendency can have real consequences, thanks to the very neuroplasticity that can help us change our brains for the better. The key is to take time to savor the good experiences that strengthens those neural pathways in your brain.

Taking in the good

Not all negative thoughts are bad — in fact they can be quite useful for dealing appropriately with reality. On the other hand, suppressing negative thoughts can lead to even worse situations when the associated emotions resurface.

Negative material has negative consequences. It darkens your mood, increases anxiety and irritability, and gives you a background sense of inadequacy. The desires and inclinations in it take you to bad places.

The idea is that taking the time to “take in the good” (in Dr. Hanson’s terminology) generally changes your brain to focus more on the positive aspects of your life. In other words, you form more positive neural pathways.

For more entrenched and damaging negative thoughts, you can perform “neutralization” exercises to work through it. More on that here:

Changing Negative Thoughts

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From the December 12, 2018 issue of Further

The internet and technology in general allow more people than ever to work from anywhere, which opens up new opportunities for geographic arbitrage. What is that, exactly?

Geographic arbitrage means taking advantage of the differences in prices between various locations. You earn money in a stronger economy (San Francisco, maybe, or the U.S. in general) and spend it in a weaker economy (South Dakota or Ecuador, for instance).

If you’ve ever chosen a vacation spot based on the relative strength of your native currency, you’ve engaged in a form of geographic arbitrage. In fact, I’m doing that right now, spending U.S. dollars in Australia.

Digital expats rather than nomads

The fantasy of “work from anywhere” generally involves a laptop-wielding digital nomad who hops from locale to locale across the globe. Those people certainly exist, but most online entrepreneurs I know who have left their home countries simply live and work in a cheaper and safe place that they enjoy.

For example, I know a diverse group of internet entrepreneurs who have settled in Medellin, Colombia. These folks sell their products and services in lucrative western markets, while enjoying the temperate weather and low cost of living of Medellin, all while contributing to the local economy.

Taking it to the Heartland

A less exotic trend is for people working on the expensive coasts of the U.S. to work remotely (or go freelance), which allows them to live somewhere vastly less expensive than Silicon Valley or New York.

Cities like Denver, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis are highly attractive places to live, especially if you’re making a salary (or charging fees) appropriate for expensive coastal markets. Tech talent in particular now realizes that the current environment allows for innovation from anywhere.

This in turn is causing the money to follow the talent inland. My home of Boulder, Colorado has had a thriving venture capital scene for quite a while, and now cities like Cincinnati and Nashville are being staked out by VCs who recognize how to succeed with their own form of geographic arbitrage.

This escape from the “tyranny of geography” used to be fanciful. Now it just takes the willingness to make it happen, and a plan.

How we used geographic arbitrage to pursue our dreams (and enrich our lives) (Get Rich Slowly)

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From the December 5, 2018 issue of Further

In the practice of mindfulness, the idea is to be present; live in the now. As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

What’s meant by that is to be fully aware of the moment. Whether you’re having a bad day or a good one, your very existence as a sentient being is a miracle if you just stop to notice.

What it doesn’t mean is binge-watching Netflix instead of going to work, scarfing junk food instead of taking care of your body, or blowing every dime you make without regard for your financial future.

Hey … don’t shoot the messenger.

Be here now (and later)

We’re told that our suffering comes from being distracted from the here and now by thoughts of the past and the future. And that’s true.

But it’s also true that our brains are wired to value instant gratification over the welfare of our future selves. In fact, neurological scans reveal that we think of our future self as if it’s an entirely separate person:

Unsurprisingly, people’s brains were most active when thinking about their current selves and least active when thinking about a current other. But Hershfield’s team found that participants’ brain activity while considering their future selves more closely resembled brain activity while thinking about a current other rather than the current self.

So, when you save for retirement, for example, it’s like you’re giving your money to someone else. Not good, but how do you make the present version of yourself look out for future you?

Back to the future (self)

The obvious start is to convince your present self that future you is, well, you. Because that’s not only true, but you’re also likely to end up with feelings of shame, guilt, and worry as a result of not doing now what you should.

Combine that with focusing on the small wins in the process rather than achieving the goal. When you’re thinking in terms of long-term results, it can be really difficult to maintain discipline on behalf of your future self.

So, write 500 words of your novel to feel good about getting it off today’s to-do list. Focus on the great taste of healthy food rather than the long-term health benefits. Find a sport or activity you love instead of slogging it at the gym to lose that weight.

That’s how you get the present you and your future self on the same page. A classic win-win.

Can’t work towards your long-term goal? Blame your brain (Fast Company)

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From the December 5, 2018 issue of Further

I hate to stretch, mainly because my legs are super inflexible. Of course, my flexibility would improve if only I’d stretch.

You see my dilemma.

As usual, I’m not alone. Even among active, fitness-oriented people, stretching is the thing we often bail on, whether winding down a SoulCycle class or before a morning run.

Isn’t this something we can outsource? Turns out, now you can.

The benefits of stretching

It’s too bad that stretching seems so unappealing to so many, as it improves blood circulation, mobility, flexibility, and even helps you sleep better. And if you work out regularly, you need it.

Repetitive motions can damage your body in ways that stretching helps you recover from. Put in about 20 minutes of stretching a week, and you can counteract that damage and avoid injuries.

And it turns out that it’s not that we don’t like being stretched. We just don’t like doing the stretching.

“Being stretched out by someone else is an experience that people relish, whereas stretching yourself out is something people tend to avoid,” says Amanda Freeman, founder of the popular boutique fitness chain SLT.

Your dollar stretches you

Enter the boutique stretching concept. From the mobile-stretching startup Racked, to New York’s Stretch*d studio, to the three-year-old StretchLab, getting your stretch on might just become part of your fitness budget.

Basically, instructors hold you down and use a strap to lengthen limbs for more effective stretches. It’s somewhere between a workout and a massage, so it’s no surprise that Massage Envy — with its 1,000-plus locations — has gotten in on the action.

Stretching services are all about recovery, for both mind and body, thanks to the hectic pace of modern life. Investors seem bullish on the concept, but as you might guess, most people don’t “get” it until they try it.

Stretching studios are the next big boutique fitness trend (Fast Company)

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