LOVE;

1. An intense feeling of deep affection.

Example; You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -Buddha

I use to daydream of the day when someone said, “I choose you”.

I use to daydream that I would find “the one”.

I use to daydream love all wrong…

Love. A constant that we all seek in our lives in many different forms. My most recent challenge of self discovery brought me to a place of humility. It brought me to a place that I’ve had this beautiful gift of love all wrong and actually really twisted. I was building walls where I should have been open, and creating a belief that has had me crippled for years without it when I thought I did. I have let the wrong kind of love consume my thoughts, my belief system and my life. I repeat, the wrong way. My self worth was reliant on a significant other in my life to love the characteristics I hated in myself. Sounds ridiculous but it is a reality that many of us create for ourselves. We choose to have this belief that love has to come from outside of us to make us feel whole, enough, and worthy.

We have created this image that love is a feeling of utopia where we’ll be the exception to the rule, & that love is “suppose” to be this awful. That we shouldn’t feel anything other then butterflies in our stomachs, kittens purring or some shit that Disney has manifested into our minds as our happily ever after. This is not reality. Our societal norm of marriage, and partnerships are starting to make a major shift. I’ve come to believe the simplest truth from this shift.

Love is not conditional. It is unconditional. It is my CHOICE.

I am no longer on a mission to find the next project, my next filler, or next someone. Love is not something that I will spend endless hours wondering if I’ll ever have because in reality love is all around me. I know, its pretty cliche talking about redefining love and quoting the romantic comedy, “love actually”. I was so distracted by the idea that I could one day win over Hugh Grant, that I missed the better message of the film. I have love coming from me in every corner of my life. I have been blind to it because I have created this belief that if I don’t have that one person in my life to be with, I am not enough and therefore don’t deserve love.

In a society that promotes a consumer mentality with wants, and desires that leave us feeling inadequate. Feeling like we don’t have enough. That we are not enough. We are left longing for more experiences, more relationships, more objects. When in reality if I sat in the present moment and took away my searching of what I don’t have and might not have in the future. Stripped away the belief that something was missing. I would be complete. I would know that today unconditional love comes from my family, my tribe, the universe and most importantly, myself. It fills me up to a point where I don’t have to rely on my knight in shining armor to manifest into my life.

I am on a new journey where I come first. Where toxic relationships is something I will choose to not participate in anymore, create or invite. And its terrifying. That’s all I’ve ever known. With that, today I am setting a firm belief that I am OK alone. That I will be OK without an others validation. That mine is ENOUGH. Even one step further that I am the source of love that will fill my soul with everything it needs.

I choose to no longer look outside of myself for me. I am choosing to be with self.

To the ones that are tired of being defined by our limitations and not by our endless possibilities.

For the ones that have a passion that is mistaken for anger.

For the ones that are tired of hearing, “What can you even do?”

To the ones that know something has to change. That we can no longer coast through life being labeled by our degrees, our careers, our societies expectations, our pocketbooks, our race, our gender.

I invite you to come to terms with that inner voice that screams I was meant for more then the life I am living.

I ask you to start that internal conversation, to start that dialogue that says, “What are YOU doing!?! Why are you creating this reality for yourself that says you are LIMITED?”

Because the reality is you are LIMITLESS.

This is the generation that will create a world where we are not defined by our followers, our materials or our looks.

We will be remembered by the acts which were given through our hearts.

We will not be defined.

We will just be.

We will love.

I will start by loving me.

Love.

Conscious Consumerism:

1. A individual that consciously decides where there dollar will go and realizes it is solely their responsibility to support the companies they believe practice fair trade, positive environmental and supports the communities of the world.

Example: “She thinks twice before buying that $4.99 shirt Made in China because she’s a Conscious Consumer.”

-USE YOUR VOICE, VOTE WITH YOUR DOLLAR-

I use to think I couldn’t make a difference with my consumer choices. That the fire was just to big for little me to make a difference. One day, I realized my ripple effects everything and everyone around me. From as little as the type of grocery store I choose to go to, what bank I choose to handle my finances, and where I choose to purchase my clothes from. I realized, companies listen to their consumers! When there is a demand for fair trade, sustainable, Eco-friendly made products then it will come! We just got to join together and know that we can make a difference!

Here are the ethical consumer principles I try to live by and you can as well.

1. BUY LOCAL

I cannot say it enough. I have been going crazy sense I have been home looking for places to support local businesses. This is the easiest way to know where your dollar is going. Right back into your community. Next time you meet a friend for coffee, or a drink — go to a new local spot.

2. WHO MADE IT?

One way of really getting to the heart and soul of your purchase is by asking who made it? Who grew it? Who sewed it? Who put their love into it? I was once challenged by a inspiring person named Stephen Brooks to take just one day and only buy your groceries, products and clothes from someone you personally knew. Through this challenge I realized how disconnected I was from what I wore every day along with what I put into my body to nourish it. It was from that day forth I pledged to take the right steps into being a conscious consumer and watch where I put my dollar went.

3. REDUCE AND REUSE

Buy less overall! Such a “duh” concept but one that will really help in the clothing department for fashion lovers like me. The more your love your clothes, the longer they last and the happier you will be. Am I replacing something that could be mended or fixed? -My grandma has become my go to for stitching up good finds at thrift stores and giving some love to good pieces that I just happen to rip or wash incorrectly. I LOVE Patagonia’s philosophy on this. If you want tips on how to keep your clothes up to date and good as new check out Patagonia’s worn wear blog and website.

4. THE “WHY” BEHIND THE PURCHASE.

What is the core reason for purchasing this item? I use to be a big emotional shopper. Not going to lie. A lot of girls use “shopping therapy” to fill a void in their heart. Most, if not always, its my ego shopping. Telling me I need this new shirt to stay fashionable, like-able, the list goes on. Really check within your soul why you are shopping.

Answer — “I deserve a new shirt, I was dumped.” (NOPE! Go hiking, go to yoga, don’t shop)
Answer — “I am going backpacking and need a fair trade/made product to keep me warm.” (WIN!)

Do I WANT it or NEED it? -Simple go to question. Most the time my ego says, “I NEEEDDD THIS BEAUTIFUL DRESS TO IMPRESS!” NO! BAD LAURA! When I face reality I don’t need half the shit I already have, so I probably don’t need this either.

5. LOOK BEYOND THE LABEL

A lot of times people refer to “Made in the USA” as a stamp of approval for there purchase. I try to look even further to see where the dye was made, where the yarn that stitched it was grown, and again asking the question of who made it? A lot of good signs are looking for non-GMO, organic, products that were made locally. Another good sign to look for is the fair trade stamp of approval and the company that made the product.

6. DO YOUR RESEARCH

There are so many resources out there now that can help you decide which products, food and clothes are best to make the world go round. Check out these amazing blogs, websites, businesses, and organizations below that are promoting Conscious Consumerism.

Many call me crazy when I have this conversation;

Me — “I’m going camping this weekend.”

Friend- “Sweet, with who?”

Me- “Myself.”

I’ve been doing it for years. I decided at a young age without even knowing it that I would not let others hold me back on the things I wanted to do. Travel. More times then not, that meant I was on my own. This is what I’ve learned and continue to experience when I buy that plane ticket to paradise sola.

IT FORCES YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

When you have no one to go eat with, to help you ask for directions (sometimes in a different language), go for a drink, or even just to talk with; you have to look to yourself. You have to start doing things you never thought you would. Eat at a restaurant alone, without a phone, or any distractions. I look back on these experiences and smile. This is when I stopped being alone and started being with self. I had to turn inward for support and courage to ask for help when I got lost. I learned another way of doing things in a culture outside of my norm. I learned who I was and what I am capable of. And I found out I am limitless, and capable of anything.

FEAR OF JUDGEMENT IS LIFTED

You’d be surprised how much you will do because the realization that the people you meet today may be gone tomorrow. Dance that salsa, skinny dip, don’t brush your hair, start a conversation with a complete stranger. You end up doing things you would have never deemed acceptable before because your friends and family are not there to pass a second thought onto you about if it is OK. You start doing things you never thought you would, and discover that you love them.

MY WANTS AND NEEDS ARE HEARD

When you go to look for another and say, “What do you want to do today?” And that other is yourself, you start to listen. Not going to lie, in the first day of any sola vacation I think,

“What the hell am I doing here. I can’t enjoy anything alone, this is boring, what the hell am I suppose to do with myself?”

When you get past this phase of denial you start to say, “alright, well you have to eat, what do YOU want to eat?” ITS YOUR DECISION! No one else to please, make happy or listen to! What is this world? It’s being with yourself. Not being alone. Its discovering for the first time what I want and what I need. Before I traveled alone, I didn’t even know what they were. When the questions you ask others every day become yours, you really start to discover who it is you truly are.

I SAW THINGS I’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE

Without distractions of others, I truly began to open my eyes to the new world around me. That meant learning about others cultures without the safety net of something familiar. It forced me to see outside of what I knew and just go with it. Usually I take things for granted when I’m focused on what I know to be my truth, my reality of how the world “works”. The day you long just to be able to just ask someone a question without discomfort (or even worried you might not understand them in a different language). This is the day you start to realize your world is much smaller then you thought. That this world is full of truths outside of yours.

Once you awaken to this truth, you can never go back to your old way of being.

So the next time you think about booking that trip to paradise, road trip, or weekend getaway. Consider going with yourself. You will be grateful you did. Because you deserve it.

I used to live my life in the past. I had to constantly remind myself of what I had done wrong so that I could try to live a future without reliving the same pain or struggle.

I continued forward in a generation that was taught to think about our future. To constantly think, plan, and ponder my decisions, & actions solely based on how it would benefit me years down the road.

It was when I learned to be here, in this moment. That’s when I began to cherish my past. When I was able to accept and forgive myself for my mistakes. It was then that I did not carry it with me. When I became excited for what was to come but did not let it consume my every thought. This was when I began to hear the leaves fall, the wind move around me, & appreciate the beautiful canyons that surrounded me. So in listening to the earth that I did not hear before, this was when I was able to hear the inner voice that was with me all along.

The one that knows I am beautiful. That knew all along that I deserve all things positive in my life and that it’s my ultimately my choice to let them in. The voice that knows in its core that I am truly happy today.

Before I had this heart of change, I struggled to keep my awakenings and happiness. Then I met Melinda Cohen, the creator of “Smiling Heart Rebels.” It was through Melinda’s words of wisdom, tools, and encouragement that I was able to find my present. I was finally able to practice being in the now without letting the distractions of my every day life paralyze me. I will be forever grateful that I decided to become a Smiling Heart Rebel. My life is and always will be full of happiness, magic and good vibes.

In the end, it is always my choice to be happy. Nothing can take that away from me.

Originally published at www.goodvibesvalleywide.org.

When I win the lottery, then I’ll travel the world.

When I get married, then I’ll never be alone.

When I accomplish all my dreams, then I’ll be happy.

Why not be successful, a traveler, feel loved, and happy now?

We’ve all done it. We’ve all pondered the lingering thoughts of feeling complete and happy once we succeed or accomplish something that we have been pushing ourselves to do for years. I was always living in the future. I was always looking forward to the next trip, the next relationship, the next moment in which I will be in complete bliss. Because my reality told me that I could not have happiness without these expectations being fulfilled.

It is when I realized that I was the sole person responsible for my life’s happiness. This was when I began to think differently about my world. I began to think for ME. Not for my parents, not for societal norms, not for my boyfriend. FOR ME.

I was suppose to go to Graduate School because that’s what you do. Bachelors. Masters. Doctorate. Get married. Have a family, career, blah blah blah. I realized I was going to graduate school for everyone else but me. I always wanted to learn Spanish. To go abroad and spend time dedicated to a language I wanted deeply to understand and speak. So after months of applications, deposits and days away from buying a plane ticket to my graduate degree I decided to go to Costa Rica to learn Spanish for ME.

I stopped thinking in a mindset that had me always thinking about A, B, & C will get me D. D was always there all along, I just was so distracted by all the expectations, and standards I set for myself that I could not see the beauty in front of me. It was the day I started making decisions for myself, my desires, wants, dreams, wishes that I found my happiness. I found that through taking this first step I was able to start the healing process of acceptance and love of myself.

Without love of myself, how could I love anything outside of that?

Without that self-love I was not able to appreciate, and allow myself to be happy this moment. We live in a society that saves those birthday gift cards for a rainy day down the road, that takes the dream vacation once we retire, and believes the grass is always greener on the other side.

Today I rebel against the notion that I have to wait for my happiness to come.

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

Originally published at www.goodvibesvalleywide.org.