There are three things that I believe keep us happy at work — the job we are doing, the people we meet and the values we can align with. Empathy is at the core of my practice but related to that, there are 3 core values that I am constantly working towards as a designer, manager, person to bring happiness to me and everyone I work with.

Practicing Humility

Many years ago we hiked the Salkantay trail to Machu Picchu. It’s the first place and time I think of at the mention of the word ‘humility’. The learnings and the people from those 5 days of walking have stayed with me. The 2nd day of the trek is the hardest and longest with the greatest elevation gained while climbing nauseating switchbacks. Altitude sickness hits hard on this day. Once we reached the foot of the glacier we sat around sipping the coca tea that the porters so kindly poured for us from the thermoses they carried. We also built little apachetas to honor Pachamama (mother earth). We learned that Peruvians don’t climb the Salkantay glacier as they don’t believe in conquering nature, but rather being humble in its presence and honoring its splendor.

All subsequent treks since, some just as grueling as the days on the Salkantay trail, have humbled me in the wake of nature and I carry that with me to my every day, at work, at home.

I have found that humility opens pathways and doors. It leads to an acceptance of not knowing everything, a curiosity for knowing more and an opportunity for unbound learning. It helps me let go of titles and hierarchies. And so it brings transparency and trust.

Creating a safe space

Several weeks ago when I drafted this post and added this section, I was reluctant to actually publish it. It felt boastful, maybe a little preachy? Then recently one of the designers on my team mentioned that the thing that he appreciates about me the most as his manager is my ability to create a safe space. And I teared up a little thinking I might have accomplished a little of what I set out to do as a mentor and manager. Why couldn’t work be a place where there is some sense of calm and order from all the other anxieties we might be dealing with in our personal lives? Even more so now than ever.

My foray into mentoring started with teaching in the MFADT program at Parsons, shortly after graduating. The thesis process can hurl a student into an identity crisis. It forced us to dig deep into what we were passionate about and create something meaningful out of it that would resonate with others. The class taught by my thesis teacher was better than therapy — grueling and painful at times but in the end leading to growth and empowerment. I often reach back to that environment to recreate that perfect person/work balance in all my subsequent experiences. Having great teachers made me want to be one at school and at work.

In all my interactions (individual 1:1s or collective crits) with the designers I work with, I aim to create a space where they feel so nurtured, empowered and understood that it might just be a respite from whatever else is going on outside of work. I know we could all use a place like that.

Finding Flow

The incredible book by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi truly helped me understand that finding flow in our lives could be the greatest source of happiness. This can happen through that magic balance of skills and challenges. But also, as a manager, one of my goals is to help the ICs on my team attain this state. One way to do this is by, as much as possible, creating a sense of organization for everyone on the team. It frees them to focus on the problems they are aching to solve on any given day without needing to switch contexts or being pulled into unnecessary confusion.

As someone who has been inclined to draw, paint and sing ever since I was a tiny person, I know now that flow, at and beyond work, is so so necessary for my overall wellbeing. My personal creative practice has sometimes felt so all over the place to me but looking back I’ve had zero regrets for leaning in to all the ways that I have wanted to be creative.

The summer before grad school, I interned at Saipua, the most magical place for embracing the wild chaos of flowers created by Sarah Ryhanen, a woman/mentor I am grateful to have come across . Sarah taught me to cultivate a subtle sensibility for colors and for the gestures that are expressed wildly in nature. For many years I carried a film camera with me at all times. I regularly paint. And I have recently taken to journaling and writing every single day.

All of this is not to say that numerous interests are key to flow. Just that they are there for the taking, if and when we need our creative lives enriched at and beyond our jobs. And I continually hope to impart the joys I have gathered from these experiences to the cohorts I am fortunate to be a part of.

Becoming a mother made me acutely aware of some of the most mundane parts of the day. The time I spent with my baby when neither mom was here and had no other daytime help, I found myself quite content in the routine. Twice a day I would carry her in the ergo baby for a nap. One of those times I would get coffee and maybe a pastry. Both times I would carry a paper book with me which I somehow never read. January was when I did this the most, when she was 3–4months old, the days were so so short and the evenings very cold and borderline melancholy if it wasn’t for Brooklyn.

We went to the bookstore almost everyday. I bought Sphinx, a couple of board books for Mia and Women who Run with the Wolves. I am still waiting to read the two print books I got for myself.

I remember thinking how she will never enjoy tummy time, how will she ever nap in her crib, will she remember this time she spent hanging on me for so many hours in a day? Does she think I am doing ok as a mom? I would talk to her, explaining everything I am doing, making our time together less alone somehow.

I was so worried about her reflux and hated so much giving her the reflux medicine. She would slurp it dutifully each time and I would break with guilt. Despite it all I can’t explain the warmth and contentment I still feel from those weeks. I could do it forever.

There’s a selfish pride in the selflessness of this experience, an initiation into a tribe that spans all humanity, finally a sense of all of the numerous forms of motherhood-the tragedies, trials, luxuries, the novelty of being a part of something so fundamental, the gratification.

My most favorite thing now is that you’ve started singing mamamamamamama in the sweetest voice! It’s incredible. And you say nam nam nam nam while eating. Oh man.