Made some morning coffee to go
with this Morning Page for today, 8/13.

Your coffee bean grind size,
something you’ve been toying with through
the gentle whirrr of a hand grinder,
really helps realize a different flavor
to your dark roast Cuban brew.

Too fine and the pour over water takes too long
and flavors too strong in the grind,
too coarse and the water courses through the beans
without taking on the meaning
of the steaming perfect dark brew you’re aiming for.

Each cup of coffee has its own character and flavor,
each showing up with its own flare
to help you dare through the morning.
The dreary clouds of this morning
can’t shroud the inner rays of your mind’s eye that can see
with crystal clear clarity that I am loving this creativity
that flows out of me each morning,
like rivers eternally coursing through source ever surely.

The ego each person collects, the flavor it lends to their identity
is like coffee that flavors the waters of the source
as it courses through each of us.

Some of us are like light French roast,
always bright and ready to toast life.
Others are darker sorts with more bitter strife burned into us,
a little coarse with no remorse for how we turned through life.

We each make for a different sort of coffee,
some are overpriced fancy and intense Sightglass pour-overs
and others are a more welcoming sort,
like trucker diner coffees. Each fine, no, divine,
for different comports of time and life.

Before we try and sort and assign value, let me remind you
that in this metaphor we are all still coffee,
and that the most remarkable score
is that we are all made up of source,
the water that is the starter,
the steaming hydration that serves
as a foundation to all our libations.

Man, that was fire 🔥 !
Sometimes I feel like I’m keeping score
to keep looking for stuff to inspire me.
Maybe I’ll replace the word stuff with better fluff,
or maybe I’ll just be entirely raw and honest, rawnesty
as my friend Gavin inspires me to be.

Giving me the gift of coursing source,
seeing these morning pages as due wages
in the language of self-love,
feeling like the inspiration is raining from up above.

Speaking of rain, even if a little pitter patter does happen later,
I’m still gonna throw on my running shoes and play skater
to the streets of New York City,
running to the tunes and feeling my legs stretch fully
out from underneath me,
faithfully carrying me and making me thankful
for this physically gifted body,
gifted to me by my parents and ancestors,
for the mind trained by past and future mentors,
for a future in which I see myself as creator and inventor
of sick lines and rhymes,
of other mental and physical constructs.

Maybe I’ll one day make fat stacks of bucks
on this new artistry I see within me.
For now I sedately and serenely tread through
this corporate tech bend gratefully.

I am slowly awakening to the full me.
I sincerely believe that the fully awakened giant within me
is capable of immense propensity for elation,
vibration with other giants waiting within my friends.

Bring it back full circle,
this giant needs to take a moment of quiet
and peacefully take some sips of his morning coffee
and wade gently into his job.
Lob and lend me the strength
to one day break free of the chains of salary.

Until then, I’m on the mend through creativity and coffee. 🧠 ☕️☀️

We’re all cups of coffee was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Oct 6th, 2020.
Drinking some orange zest herbal tea
as I let my pen flow and my thoughts grow
to lend some vibes and glow
to these throws of thought in the night,
taking my budding imagination flights
and setting them gently afloat with a touch feather light.

It’s been too long since I’ve set time aside to sing along
to the the rhymes that grow like ripe vines
out of my cracked and stressed-out mind,
like gently prying fingers,
ones that nature has set within me to nurture,
stretch and further,
to lovingly crack apart my ego
to once again shed light through the cracked earth
of my individual reality and remind me of life’s order…

They remind me that within and underneath
we are all each and all complete,
replete with a sense of well-being and gently bubbling hope
to chip and drip and slowly wash away
at any sense of defeat brought on by society
that can mean well but often just gives us thoughts
that remove us from our true natures
that can be so simple, so sweet.

This sense in all that dense mess can be fleeting,
that glimpse of easy peace and knowing
that we are all one and one all,
that in choosing to stand tall despite worrying
about the pain the pain of the seemingly inevitable fall,
we find that so many others around us were waiting
with patience for us to realize
we can shed the fear to which we were thralled.

As we stand in the light that seemed so bright,
our eyes will adjust and we’ll find with grins and open delight
that we have family too that
have each taken a stand in their own fight,
discovered how to emit their own glow in their own graceful might.

We all fear the glow at first,
as its glare always hurts our eyes
until our optics can rehearse
how to take in the rays and understand
how to better measure the blinding verse.

When we acclimate, our eyes can see
new vistas and views that we never knew
while peering timidly from amidst the pews.
Who knew just how much there was to miss?

Who knows what delights await us
further up amidst the mist
that just barely kisses our brow
that we didn’t recognize until now
was further up the clouds?

From humble roots in troubled ego’s earth
to vines reaching into the skies divine,
we are all each Jack and Jills
climbing our own reality bean stalks,
constantly worried about the Fee Fi Fo Fum
we’ve been told to be ready to run from.

Listen, I’m not saying these giants and monsters of reality don’t exist.
I’m just saying the times we really are in the twist
are rare, and when they are there,
if we’ve tuned into ourselves,
we won’t be caught frozen like deer in Death’s hoary glare. 💀

The same instincts that have us stretch and grow
are also the same that will let us know
when true danger is waiting for us, club in tow.
In those cases, we all listen to our gut
and play our best whack-a-mole run,
but these times are rare,
and you’ll know when you’re there.

For now, remember that Jack did indeed
escape the giant’s belly greed
and actually brought the giant crashing down
and took the bully’s treasure in storied deed.

So maybe the message is — when the giant’s shadow is upon you, good!
Dance amongst its shadow,
head to the cliff’s edge in a daring adventure,
and reap that dumb brute’s treasure.
Perhaps the danger is part and parcel to life’s true nature.

Now go and climb your bean stalk!
See what you see.
Giants or not, we’ll be glad to see each other climb
and become who we can only dream now we’ll be.

Fee Fi Fo Fum, remember to have some fun! was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

You know the feeling — anxiety and slight dread sitting in the dentist’s chair as they check your gums. They poke away at your gums with a sharp measuring tool and apply gentle prickly torture to make sure you’re not suffering from gingivitis or some other horrible de-toothing disease. If you find this measuring as painful as I do, you probably heard from your dentist something along the lines of, “If you flossed, this wouldn’t be so bad.”

This year, at the ripe age of 32, I finally took up my dentist on this suggestion and started flossing regularly. It only took a weirdly sensitive lower gum and a fear of gum failure through COVID-19 to finally convince me that I should give consistent flossing a shot.

For y’all that are where I was in terms of flossing — ie not nearly as dentally hygienic as our dentists prefer — it turns out the first few weeks of regular flossing is also painful. But, eventually, the flossing stops hurting. In fact, eventually, it feels great to plunk that flossing thread into your gums. It feels good to floss now. I promise.

It occurred to me, as I became consistent with flossing and learned to enjoy the sensation, that feeling our darker emotions, like anger, fear, grief, anxiety, is a lot like flossing.

You know this feeling too. Experiencing difficult emotions while going through something — e.g. going through a break up, losing a loved one, just trying to stay sane through the insanity of a global epidemic and pondering life with ever increasing existential dread — you want to numb the feeling. To make it less stark, harsh, hurtful. To numb the pain.

Numbing takes many forms. I tend to drink, smoke a little herb, throw myself into a social scene, or lose myself in a workout. It might take other forms that might otherwise look like healthy distractions, like dancing, talking with friends over the phone, or going for long walks. But in one way or another, we all tend to avoid steeping ourselves in these emotions.

But the emotions that we numb or distract from have uses, purposes, and they can and should be embraced. Anger is important for setting healthy boundaries. Sadness reminds us that we lost something we cared for. Jealousy can be a signal that our significant others aren’t aligned with us. Worry, in the right context, can be our gut telling us to think more thoroughly through a problem that we haven’t given enough brain cycles to. There’s a time and place for every emotion.

And if these emotions are numbed or distracted from every time they come up, they feel like biting floss to the gingivitis inflamed gum of our psyche. We feel anger’s intense heat and lose control. Jealousy becomes so encompassing that we lash out at our significant other without communicating with them and giving them a chance to repair trust. Worry becomes nail-biting anxiety, trapping us with visions of possibly painful futures.

There is nothing wrong with feeling these negative emotions. It’s in holding them in, letting them take over, that we can lose ourselves.

And it’s in avoiding these emotions that we give them power. When we fear our anger, sadness, anxiety, or fear itself, that’s when these emotions take on a life of their own and can take over your life. And we definitely don’t want that.

So, let’s say you’re in this state, one where negative emotions have a biting sting. What do we do about it?

It’s a lot like flossing — the best way we can make our lives feel better, through good parts and bad, is by letting ourselves experience it fully. Instead of numbing and distracting, we can decide to sink into our feelings as they come up. Treat them like friends, no matter what form they come in, with welcome and curiosity at what truths they are helping us become present to.

So here’s an invitation, an exercise to try for yourself— the next time you’re feeling anger, jealousy, fear, or other “negative” emotions, take some space to sit down and sink into your body while they are with you. Feel into your body as the emotion grips you.

Sink into the feeling and give yourself space to ask a question, “What am I feeling right now?”

Don’t spin into why you’re feeling it, at least not yet. Rationalizing our feelings is in itself an escape.

Just ask yourself what you’re feeling and sit with that feeling.

After you’ve taken some time to really feel that emotion, decide that this emotion is okay to feel right now. All emotions have their time and purpose.

Maybe you’ll want to do this with a friend, sharing your emotion. Or you’re doing it by yourself. In either case, don’t worry about solving the problem that is giving you this emotion.

The point here is to feel the emotion and to be okay with it.

If you intentionally hold space for your darker emotions, you’ll find two things:

1. They become less painful over time. Each time you make space for these emotions, they become easier to bear, just like flossing.
2. They are part of our intuition. Like joy and gratitude points us towards parts of life we enjoy, anger and fear point us towards parts of life we wish were different. That’s powerful and worth acknowledging.

As you befriend your darker emotions, you’ll find an interesting thing happening within you — integration. Your darker emotions will find a welcoming home in your psyche that will make them both in your control, like tools of a master carving your emotional landscape, and will make them hold less power over you.

As these darker emotions become your friends, they no longer master you. You master them. And in doing so, you’ll find that these emotions come and go, just like your lighter emotions. It’s only in fearing and avoiding emotions that they become stuck in us. When they are mastered, they are subject to the same emotional alchemy and healing that is natural to all of us if we trust ourselves.

So treat your emotions like flossing. Feel them regularly. In doing that, you’ll find peace and meaning held within the depths of our darker emotions.

Where does my pen want to go
in this fresh Morning Page flow?
Who knows, does it actually matter though?
From the page the ink will grow, perhaps smudge,
blot at the edges with a slight touch.

You slept at an early hour
and feel the energy, the coursing power of alertness,
the glow of morning light burning through the mist
of cloudy thought.

Shining right into the gates of iron wrought
that still hide shadowy darkness
like a villain in a lifelong plot.
Into the castle moat I throw the detritus
of yesterday’s hard fought struggle,
like a Harry Potter Muggle feeling stuck in the mud
as others zoom around on witches brooms of fancy.

Lately I bounce between feeling wizardry and stupidity,
flow and struggle, glow and shadow.
Feeling both and the duality of existence,
the quickness and the silence
and the yin and the yang, a balance not to maintain
but to understand the rush and the refrain
in an ever flowing neutrality.

Feeling strong then raw,
child-like growing and wonder into confident thunder,
back into smiling quiet and then still sunlight.

In traveling these extremes I realize
that the labels that we seem to fit into, like Myers Briggs
and Enneagram and astrological signs
are all single facets of the wonderful design
of your ever-shifting constellation of inner stars. You are
so much more than these labels. You don’t need fables
of where from introverts draw their energy,
who Aquariai deem their natural enemies.

When you don’t need to know how your presence fits
into the fabric of fate, your presence is free to relate
to any part of that weft,
at times resonating in treble and others in bass,
no time spent in waste
on if that time and space is right for you.

You already have a compass built inside of you
to tell you if this feels present for you,
if you can spend time and fall into the bend
and flow into that part of the universe you find yourself in.

Seek nectar, find within where shadow and light begin to blend,
and at times contemplate the end
to remind yourself that time is both infinite and punctuated
with beginnings and story ends.

To that end let’s seek joy and play, sit with pain and say
to yourself, “It’s not about me.”

Mental exercise I just went through,
let’s put it down on paper to think through later.
If you’re just going through the bends like the leaf in a river,
how can you deliver like Gengis Khan and change the world?

I forget in that cipher that being one with the flow
isn’t about losing what you know,
it’s about being open to the universe making through you
so you can still have a rippling impact.

In fact it’s about seeing the knobs and levers
that your singular ego would see never.

If it doesn’t need to make sense with your past
the present can transform you, teleport you
to a different elevation from which
you’ll never fear spiritual starvation.

You know that your ramblings don’t need bounds to resound with truth;
we don’t need to elevate you on some booth
because the light in its natural form
will break through your understood norms
and make you float up and forward
on the winds of time
and align with the will of the minds of others
on the same path that sweeps together
with forces of both peace and wrath.

The math will work out, the path will unfold.
Step into the light and darkness with bold steps borne of old.

Flow down the shadowy path was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Made some morning coffee to go
with this Morning Page for today, 8/13.

Your coffee bean grind size,
something you’ve been toying with through
the gentle whirrr of a hand grinder,
really helps realize a different flavor
to your dark roast Cuban brew.

Too fine and the pour over water takes too long
and flavors too strong in the grind,
too coarse and the water courses through the beans
without taking on the meaning
of the steaming perfect dark brew you’re aiming for.

Each cup of coffee has its own character and flavor,
each showing up with its own flare
to help you dare through the morning.
The dreary clouds of this morning
can’t shroud the inner rays of your mind’s eye that can see
with crystal clear clarity that I am loving this creativity
that flows out of me each morning,
like rivers eternally coursing through source ever surely.

The ego each person collects, the flavor it lends to their identity
is like coffee that flavors the waters of the source
as it courses through each of us.

Some of us are like light French roast,
always bright and ready to toast life.
Others are darker sorts with more bitter strife burned into us,
a little coarse with no remorse for how we turned through life.

We each make for a different sort of coffee,
some are overpriced fancy and intense Sightglass pour-overs
and others are a more welcoming sort,
like trucker diner coffees. Each fine, no, divine,
for different comports of time and life.

Before we try and sort and assign value, let me remind you
that in this metaphor we are all still coffee,
and that the most remarkable score
is that we are all made up of source,
the water that is the starter,
the steaming hydration that serves
as a foundation to all our libations.

Man, that was fire 🔥 !
Sometimes I feel like I’m keeping score
to keep looking for stuff to inspire me.
Maybe I’ll replace the word stuff with better fluff,
or maybe I’ll just be entirely raw and honest, rawnesty
as my friend Gavin inspires me to be.

Giving me the gift of coursing source,
seeing these morning pages as due wages
in the language of self-love,
feeling like the inspiration is raining from up above.

Speaking of rain, even if a little pitter patter does happen later,
I’m still gonna throw on my running shoes and play skater
to the streets of New York City,
running to the tunes and feeling my legs stretch fully
out from underneath me,
faithfully carrying me and making me thankful
for this physically gifted body,
gifted to me by my parents and ancestors,
for the mind trained by past and future mentors,
for a future in which I see myself as creator and inventor
of sick lines and rhymes,
of other mental and physical constructs.

Maybe I’ll one day make fat stacks of bucks
on this new artistry I see within me.
For now I sedately and serenely tread through
this corporate tech bend gratefully.

I am slowly awakening to the full me.
I sincerely believe that the fully awakened giant within me
is capable of immense propensity for elation,
vibration with other giants waiting within my friends.

Bring it back full circle,
this giant needs to take a moment of quiet
and peacefully take some sips of his morning coffee
and wade gently into his job.
Lob and lend me the strength
to one day break free of the chains of salary.

Until then, I’m on the mend through creativity and coffee. 🧠 ☕️☀️

We’re all cups of coffee was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

It’s another Morning Page, feeling pretty sleepy,
won’t trip feeling trippy from waking up early.

Maybe it’s a symptom of being 32,
this tiredness before your morning brew.
Ya you know it’s not, this ain’t some illness,
it’s just what happens when you sleep a little less, too late.
No need to blame yourself for the lethargy
coming from you late night activities -
you enjoyed the botched attempts at recording
a reading of yesterday’s story.

It got better over time
with practice your rhymes were flowing out of your lips,
looking more and more like you’re shooting from your hip.

But why were you so concerned with looking a certain way?
Like being strange is something others will find lame?
Why let myself be tamed by some sense of self I want to maintain?

Identity is this funny thing you see,
if you want to “be like water” a la Bruce Lee
so that you can be whatever you’d like to be,
you need to be free of your ego’s will
to stay still or be this picture perfect still life of you.

I want to be able to be true to the me
that comes from the deep stirrings of my creativity,
that forms free from the shifting lake of norms,
that shapes within the lake of transcendent possibilities.

Like a glowing bright white light,
shooting up from the water to take flight,
my imagination set afire and alight,
imagining the heights in my minds eye,
a rolling wave of what can take place if I set myself free
from the binds and expectations
that my ego’s constructed imitations
sets in front of me.

It’s a hall of mirrors that always has clear steer doors,
it seems easy to fall into one of those flawed still reflections.
Each one of them is indeed a version of me
but none encompasses any of my raw totality.

You see, your ego is only able to perceive
a limited subset of what begets your identity.
It’s limited by lack of subconscious
that is steeped in your soul’s lake
that is fed from the ever-flowing rivers of your memories
and sourced from the cumulous clouds of your desires,
raindrops of fire that each inspire action.

Following that age old maxim that
belief begets thought begets action begets destiny.
You see, it’s important to remember what you do and say
is a side-effect.
The you that others see is just an afterimage of
your past self’s umbrage,
the shadow effect of your past intellect.

Who you are determines your destiny’s North star,
and the course of your arc is always changing
as it blazes its own trail,
a comet across fate,
brief but beautiful and a sight upon which you wish
for a chance to feel
the beauty, the majesty of the night sky,
all before night sets on nigh.

Maybe that’s enough waxing poetic
on the nature of life eidetic.

Less writing with knowing you plan on posting this,
more insight driven lines that come from
the source inside of you.

What speaks to you?
What are you present to?
That you’ve yet to get on making that cup of coffee dude?
That today is gonna be a mad long day of meetings?

Oof it’s gonna be long but that’s okay, be strong.
Or not, you can twist the plot if you need to,
to let yourself be the true you.
All things will come in time to you as you need them to.

That hallway of ego mirrors is eager to deliver answers
to problems you’re so ready to invent.
Just remember instead to vent,
to relent on yourself and try your best
to live life gratefully instead of head strongly.

Anyway, this morning you feel al little spent.
Let’s go catch some new tasty fish for throwing
into your creative lake bed.

Identity House of Mirrors was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Another morning page! More steps towards a new stage,
a new age for you, through you, within you,
the forces are beginning to brew
like a cosmic soul stew.
Witches MacBeth ain’t got shit on your morning breath,
or the depths to which you’ll flow, here we gooooo!

Okay but seriously, let’s take it down a notch.
You know you kinda botched your morning coffee.
Your buddy Jeremy K would probably say it’s a little bitter.
Still, you’re gonna use that caffeine fuel to deliver on this day,
following a night that made you shiver,
getting to hear your Asian bros deliver their shares.

Victor, Seibo, Richard, Luke, Maim Kim,
each emotionally sharing what’s going on with him,
each becoming true to what they wanna do,
by going out on a limb and telling others
what’s truly going on within.

The emotional courage to tell their stories is so inspiring,
the exploring and deep diving leads to me admiring
each man for their soul and connects us,
an Asian brotherhood of fulfilled and soulful men beckons to us.

I can’t wait to see what fate has in store for us.Trusting that we will liberate ourselves and see all along
that the mental chains that seemed so strong
are just constructs,
like weights upon us having us think they are ponderous,
onerous and real.
But now we have got the feel
that this steel is only as real as how we let it be.

Maybe instead we lift the weights like we’re at the gym,
treating challenge with relish and thank God
for getting to embellish our souls with hard-earned goals,
stories of fighting dragons to earn our treasure troves.

The gold of living a life well-lived is in our hands to give ourselves,
we need only decide that what enemies
are worthy of including in our story.

Who we decide to be is often just a reflection of
the demons we befriend, sacrifices we willingly make
and the choices we make while on the mend.

The end is always approaching,
do you want to feel that drop encroaching
or go an adventure unrelenting?

Choose to be the hero of your own story,
the protagonist that takes no nos in their quest
for living life at their best.
It’s not about glory, it’s about seeing inside
the hero that resides waiting for the right mission
to come out and and act with courage and conviction,
insight built up from a full-lived life
cutting through and blending all that makes you you
into a flaming sword that can fight off the hordes
that can crowd life.

Your victory is ensured,
it’s not in fighting off the system
but in realizing you were never the victim
if you decided not to be.

The story of your life is what you decide it to be.

Now go out, take those wagons on your Oregon Trail,
beat the river crossings and dysentery,
this ain’t some 8-bit computer game you’re playing,
ain’t no lame-ass broken axle killing your play session!

The lesson here: learn to steer whatever you got,
make and turn the plot,
take the cards given to you and bet big,
even if the flop doesn’t look so hot.
You’ve still got the turn and the river to deliver you through
whatever obstacles that seem too insurmountable right now.

Fall forward, have faith, you have more than you know
working through you. Be true.
The greatest resource you’ve got is the totality of you,
multi-faceted and ever-growing, always seeing
new futures in the waters of life.

So time to take the next step on this quest on your own behest.
Let’s see what dragon there is next to behead. 🐉 🔥 🗡

Fighting morning dragons was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

8/10/20, let’s give yourself time aplenty to devote to this Morning Page.
You woke and had a 9am call with your coach Kalem.
In it you were 5 minutes late and he helped you become aware
to the fact that when you take that tact
with all of your time commitments, people sense it.

They may not mention it or even register it,
but it still sits in their mind that sometimes
that their time might mean less to me than it does them.

To build trust and be trustworthy
it means to put in the work and see yourself as
someone who follows through on commitments.
You know yourself, you can always see in your mind’s eye
that you do try but often fall short
in being totally worth the weight of your words.

Maybe I just need to realize it’s all about taking one step at a time,
no need to promise the ability to run and fly.
No one else sees your skies,
they only see the tread and the path,
the way you trail-blaze with your inner wrath,
the phrases you utter, not what you mutter in closed breath.

So show up, don’t worry that in your haste and waste
you’ll end up throwing up nonsense and drivel.
In giving visibility to the me that is messy and honest,
the raw side of me that is exposed and vulnerable and tender
and wild with bed hair and a little sparkle in my stare,
I’ll help others realize they are not alone in feeling like they
are a hot mess sometimes, melting like wax over a kitchen stove.

The cooking of life, all the crazy weird ingredients
of starlight, laughter, tears, feeling shattered,
all sautéed together into a tangy and salty but filling mix,
then spread over a baked melange of understanding that
we can live in bliss if we remember that the butter of gratitude
is always with in reach,
the glue of attitude being the binding
we can construe to mean anything.

The question isn’t so much, “Is this tasty?” as it is,”Is this the me I like?”
Cause you’re the chef, the plater, the waiter, and the critical taster of your own life.
Sometimes that means you gotta switch up some ingredients,
or maybe you just need to try on a new palate,
turn this lame fruitcake into a delicious nutritious salad.

Man I must be hungry as f*ck
to have waxed on this long about food.
But I’m a hungry guy what can I say
the zest of life is never enough for me, I say.

Can I ever be satiated, satisfied?
At times I feel it, the expansive joy of feeling fulfilled,
when higher purpose calls in me and through me,
or when friends and family gather together
and I can enjoy amazing weather with these loved ones.

So, yes, I think I’m not always hungry. But right now, yes,
I am feeling a little lonely. Lost,
Feeling the cost of living life the way I do.
But I believe, I know, that I’ll pull through.
I’m relentless and smart about the things I really want,
and now what I want more than anything is a sense of wellbeing.

So I’ll figure this out, no doubt, I’ll get into this Monday
and build my own sense of inner clout
by following through on the things I said I’d do.

Also, I’m gonna go make some bacon. Peace ✌️

Cooking with Life was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Keeping it alive with Morning Pages part 5!
Man what a vibe last night!
Hanging with Eli, Jill, Trish, Benji and Park,
Marco and Rebaldo Canterbury, nerrrrrry a weary,
all stayed up past whatever time we usually last
and kept each other company sportsing and horsing around,
laughter abound and some unmentionables
stuck clueless to the ground. 😂

What’s happening today?
Hope we get to hear some sick rooftop tunes from Courtney,
I’d stay to her her play some fire down the wire
into the ears of our desire and spark into our feet,
making us dance into another summer night and stomping us
into a meek Sunday morning.

Alright enough with the inside jokes,
life is always a playful hoax,
remember that when you feel broke inside
and maybe take a peek at these morning pages
when you’re going through stages
of feeling strange and out of place.
Like you’re an alien crashing into the party from outer space,
laced with a taste for connection
but feeling too spicy for most people’s recommendation.

Remember Nick that the people you’re with
and the way you feel around them is always a part of you
and that living from the inside out means that
these alien feelings are just thoughts you don’t need to give into.

I want many things and feel so much,
feelings of being other while looking at brothers.
I realize some people are great at taking me into new heights
but not so great at sitting with me in my lows,
and at times I feel like I need to give myself the gift of flow
to really know that’s just how it goes sometimes.

Nothing wrong with that, they’re just not that way to you,
and it’s important to let them be true to them and you to you.
Remember that through the years you’ve built the gears,
through grit and sand and tears,
to work through anything inside, even if it causes
a few smears and tears and wear on the system.

And it’s not on you or them, learn to blend the bad into the good
and realize the art is in finding the swirl of times beautiful.
That realization is the food that will spiritually fill you,
until you’re past the brim and from within you’ll feel the spark,
the taking of life at whatever arc, the vim.
I’ll speak and break truths at my whim and carry on to win the tides,
ride the summer winds into the fairy tale life I feel within.

Every story needs painful chapters,
and even tragedies have beautiful laughter.
So go on and know that there are still
chapters, volumes, epics to grow into.

You’re not done writing, here or in your life.
You’re so rife with the insights, the chills,
the knocked-over spills of life.
So go and create, you can marinate on life’s nature later.
Start with doing again and think later.

Become once again a creator, so that you can
fill your soul’s lake with stories and visions of more
than what you take but also with the creations of your mind’s eye.
Embrace the visionary within, it’ll be scary but also exciting,
to think and know within you is the power to ignite
and set others alight through doing nothing other than
leap into the nothing and learning to fly,
jumping past your inner walls and inhibitions,
to find your hair swept back and your wings lifted up by intuition.

Lift up and with swift step flip over, do a barrel roll
and laugh with your belly, no need to be jelly.

Now go and flow into the Saturday morning glow.

Keeping it alive, 8/8/20 was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Morning pages part 4!
Who’s keeping the score?
What for, you word-smithing line-rhyming son of a whore?

You owe some people some responses… wait do you?
Who do you owe your time to?
If not you, do these other people control you?

What makes you decide to deride your own mind’s control for your time?

You can get back later to taking care of these obligations
you have obviated to your critic.
Admit it.
You’re not totally with it.

Give from your gratitude!
Then that change in attitude will take you and wake you from
“I owe people” to “I will gift people”.

Like blessings from a steeple,
giving from a place where giving more doesn’t make you keep score
means you can be and give so much more.
In your younger years of yore,
you thought that giving through sacrifice meant more.
But, dude, that leads to manipulation.
Living life in painful animation
where you keep track of the knick knack favors and scratched backs…
man that shit’s some fake claymation.

It’s all pretend!
Don’t make yourself bend,
go with the wend and do things that don’t expend your generosity.
Instead, make tea steeped in the sunshine of your limelight.
Your starlight shining bright from your Godhead.

And through this be wed to the idea that the bed
of your compassion and fiery passion can birth
new ground, new earth endlessly, blessedly.

The point of all of this, one I refuse to miss,
one I will not let go with a painful hiss into the dark…
man what a lark 😂
in rhyming I was actually letting go of the spark.

Look the point is that I want to be generous and give freely
without it being an act that takes away from my ability to be me.
I know what makes me feel good as I give,
understood for how I live,
soul food that keeps on giving,
like an endless river through which I can deliver insights that make me shiver,
food fights that make my sides quiver from laughter
laughing ever after into the sunset
getting sprayed wet with the oceans of motion of life.

I will thrive on the waters
like a pirate plundering what the universe has to offer,
an infinite buffet of incredible experiences
like a conveyor valet that serves up the best of life, zest and strife.

Close to vest is my drive to fight on and just carry on.
Sometimes the best you can navigate is floating on the waves
cause those waves you had to crest took so much out of you.

Cause sometimes what you had to give wasn’t a choice
and the way you showed up wasn’t the best
but look, from here you can still persevere
so hold on to the flotsam for dear breath
and take some rest.

Eventually in time you’ll see the best in you and me will once again be set free
but for now just ride peacefully into the sunset
and let the sea foam kiss your face and lace with the sun rays.
Praise the bliss you can feel from the mist of possibilities
floating through and around you. Soon you’ll be surrounded again,
and when you’re ready you’ll stand up and discover
that that random piece of wood on which you clung is now a surfboard
ready for the ride of your life once more.

So crest with merry zest again
and ride the waves of life into the sunset
knowing it’s time again for giving and living,
and you’ll again find time to rest. Later.

Diddy for 8/7/20 was originally published in Morning Page Diddies on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.