Let it.

Let it wash over you. Let it crash into your bones and wrack your body with heaving sobs. Let it seep into your being. Let it pour out of you as tears.

Feel it, fully. Try to name it — not with your head, but with your heart.

A kind of sadness. A bit of regret. Some pity. Pain. Loss. Frustration. Confusion. Naïveté.

An apology.

Ugly cry. Gasp for air. Catch a sudden laugh mixed in with the tears. Feel it passing through you. Start to understand the absurdity of the situation. Of you, sitting quietly and alone, unable to distinguish solitude from loneliness.

Aching for peace, realize you’re already immersed in it.
Yearning for connection, realize you already are connected.

To yourself, first and foremost. A strong foundation to draw from, time and again, as you give and you give and you give. Joyfully. Wholeheartedly. Inexhaustibly.

Peace comes from living, dark depths and all. Cultivate this connection to self. Cultivate the hell out of it. Allow yourself to feel, always.

Because this is the real stuff. What you’ve been chasing. What you’ve been trying to catch. This is what you’re striving for.

This moment. This precious fleeting space, never to happen again. Pure and whole.

This is life.

Living it in full,
~ H

(Originally written + published as a.musing — a quick note-to-self after one such personal wave — Nov 2, 2014.)