In November 2018, my entrepreneurial leap was in a freefall. No traction. No direction. No clue. In roughly two years, I had transitioned from a Director role at a leading global asset management firm to some random guy trying to “inspire the power of purpose.” Savings depleted. Debt accumulating. Head spinning. Despite these headwinds, the calling to embrace both my Japanese heritage deeply rooted in ikigai and my professional expertise in change management overwhelmed conventional thinking: In December 2018, my bruised ego was about to get its ass kicked in the best way imaginable, as I pivoted to launch Ikigai Lab.

In corporate, I delivered keynote presentations to audiences of 200+ people at events organized by teams of professionals. The first Ikigai Workshop at a co-working space was planned, promoted, and organized by me (poorly) with a total of 11 people in attendance. By many accounts, the event was a failure, but something magical happened in that room: Participants gave themselves permission to reflect on important relationships, experiences, and priorities, then courageously shared their insights to forge meaningful human connection. This foundation unlocked the ability to articulate core values, while revealing an important step toward embracing ikigai. The commitment of these 11 participants galvanized my commitment to the pivot: And for the first time in two years, the fog started to lift.

My Great-Grandmother, Taka, inspired the launch of Ikigai Lab: Her journey of sacrifice, legacy, and triumph brought the essence of ikigai to life for me. As I struggled to find direction in these unchartered waters, her ikigai story provided a north star. Sparked by the realization that narrative can help us find our way, I launched the Ikigai Stories Podcast. Fueled by a successful Kickstarter Campaign, the podcast showcases people who embody the concept of ikigai, including the messy process that often accompanies the fulfilling road less traveled. The podcast shaped my appreciation of ikigai in a way that honored both the journey and the moment, while establishing relationships with purpose-driven humans around the world.

My ikigai flag had been planted.

Friends and former colleagues reached out, wondering if I was okay. The ikigai pivot appeared to be an abrupt shift that was contrarian bordering on catastrophe. But in those conversations, something magical happened: Holding myself out as the @Ikigai Guy, “a former corporate warrior turned social entrepreneur,” implicitly granted permission to share in a deep, meaningful, and authentic way. I found myself listening to externally successful professionals discuss their internal struggle seeking greater purpose beyond money, objects, and the fancy title. Intimate elements of their spiritual journey surfaced as they entrusted this space as a moment to shed the armor and reveal self. These conversations were affirming, sacred, and a testament to the power of meaningful connection.

As Ikigai Lab gained momentum, I found myself working with bankers, lawyers, tech executives, startup founders, financial advisors, academics, students and various professionals across all walks of life. People were hungry for more meaning and simultaneously intrigued by this Japanese wisdom tradition that is scientifically linked to longevity, creativity, and happiness. Occasionally distracted by copycats and Zen-washed con artists, I began to think about the impact potential of ikigai reaching the masses.

Ikigai is a 1,000-year-old concept that can be interpreted as “your reason for being.” It’s not the domain of any person, association, or movement beyond Japanese culture. That said, there is a distinctly unique methodology created at Ikigai Lab that continues to evolve through partnership and collaboration with a cross-cultural cohort of academics, professionals, and purpose-driven humans. To be clear, these aren’t repackaged quotes or questionable attempts at a Venn diagram. As my loose framework of whiteboard ideas became proven concepts sourced from workshops, coaching, retreats, presentations, collaborations, and meaningful experiences, the path to expand Ikigai Lab’s reach in a substantial manner was beginning to take form.

Then, COVID happened.

Suddenly, the definition of purpose required recalibration. The norms that supported everyday life evaporated and collectively, the world held its breath to determine the scale and scope of a global pandemic. But in that chaos, something magical happened: People became reacquainted with their true self and priorities blossomed in vivid colors. Observing and seeking the distinct need for connection, I explored how ikigai could shape our interpretation of this incomprehensible world that seemingly appeared overnight. Throughout COVID, I launched purpose-driven digital experiences, including a Virtual Friends Trip, a Purpose Speakeasy for Midlife Professionals, and weekly Well-Being Wednesdays. Each experience brought ikigai to life for various communities seeking different entry points, while accelerating Ikigai Lab’s unique methodology and design.

Organizations began to request Ikigai Lab engagements to help their employees develop a better sense of purpose, connection, and well-being. As traditional boundaries of work and life dissolved, leaders started to view their employees as a whole person and the link between personal fulfillment and professional success appeared stronger than ever. Well-being partnerships emerged with experts representing a wide range of modalities, including, nutrition, mind/body, leadership development, stress reduction, parenting, KonMari, integral health, strengths-based psychology, somatic yoga, ergonomics, fitness, and more. What started as a workshop with 11 participants had now become a fully functional movement.

The blurred work/life boundary was transforming organizational culture in real time, while simultaneously increasing the demand for purpose and belonging in the employee experience. However, assembling the puzzle of four years of ikigai concepts, experiences, and engagements into a formal, cohesive offering proved more challenging than expected. On a sleepless night, I rolled out of bed and started to journal in an attempt to fall back asleep. As random, disparate thoughts poured onto the page, something magical happened: I realized that the greatest impact occurred when people had the opportunity to CONNECT with self, CONNECT with peers, and CONNECT with experts.

Connect3x was born.

Connect3x is a tech-enabled people platform that integrates total well-being with workplace performance to support a culture of engaged, thriving employees. My role as Chief Ikigai Officer combines the knowledge capital of 10,000 hours of ikigai engagements and nearly 20 years of corporate experience to lead Connect3x Public Benefit Corporation with Chief Operating Officer Krista Steinbach and Chief Information Officer Rich Sasaki. Our mission is to capitalize the Human experience by helping organizations evolve beyond the stale, tired notion of “human capital.”

In partnership with the Purpose Partners by Connect3x, a curated group of well-being experts, coaches, and solutions providers, we embed well-being into the cadence of business with science-based nudges that increase Return on Energy (R.O.E). By design, we meet people where they’re at, providing manageable, microactions toward sustainable, positive change at the individual, team, and organizational level.

The Connect3x thesis is simple: Organizational success is directly linked to employee fulfillment. Something magical will happen when total well-being is integrated with workplace performance: thriving employees, a resilient organizational culture, and a more compassionate, productive society. Our ikigai, our reason for being, provides the roadmap to reveal our greatest potential at work, home, and life. As the world’s first Chief Ikigai Officer, I’m dedicated to leading the workplace evolution of discovering purpose AT work, not simply in the work, while improving well-being for all.

Every Memorial Day, I flash back to this moment in 1995. I was a senior at Alliance High, placing a wreath at the local veteran’s memorial, while being escorted by my then 72-year old grandfather, Grandpa Sam, dressed in his World War II military uniform. It feels especially fitting that the last day of Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month lands on Memorial Day, as the memory of this incredible man represents the very best of both occasions.

In 1941, months after Grandpa Sam graduated from Alliance High, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. He was a 19-year old Japanese-American, living in small-town Nebraska, and felt compelled to enlist in the United States Army to prove his allegiance to America. He joined the 442 Regimental Combat Team, a unit comprised of Japanese- Americans, that would go on to become one of the most decorated units in U.S. military history. Grandpa Sam returned to America as a decorated war hero with a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart.

Growing up, the 442's “Go For Broke” symbol was a permanent fixture in daily life; I can fondly recall Grandpa proudly displaying the motto on coffee mugs, shirts, belts, ties, and hats. Today, I keep the icon ever present as it reminds me of not only the sacrifices that he and countless others made, but also the lessons from his post-war life that serve as a guiding north star.

Three Ikigai Lessons from Grandpa Sam:

1. Connection. The running joke was that Grandpa Sam could walk into a restaurant knowing no one and would walk out with a full belly and a few new friends. His learner mindset, fueled by observation and inquiry, made him a master at human connection. When we slow down to observe and embrace a genuine sense of curiosity, a foundation of authentic connection is a natural progression.
2. Community. Grandpa Sam was a civic leader involved in nearly every organization available in a small community. Connection at the individual level, combined with a sense of duty to others, was a clear priority that demonstrated the power of commitment and obligation beyond self. We’re at our very best when we come together to collectively increase positive impact for the greater good.
3. Courage. Grandpa Sam’s courage in World War II speaks for itself, but I’ve also learned to appreciate how his engine of courage was fueled by authentic connections built upon community service. We often exhibit our greatest forms of courage in vulnerable, selfless acts to improve humanity. Those moments unleash a ripple effect of positivity that encourages others to take a courageous step outside of the comfort zone. What begins as a small splash of connection eventually yields a tidal wave of community-driven acts of courage for the benefit of all.

As division threatens to erode the fabric of society, the playbook for a better tomorrow is rooted in the virtuous circle of connection, community, and courage. Our greatest potential reveals itself in the relationships that we establish, the communities that we support, and the courage that we exhibit throughout life’s journey.

Today, and every day, I’m grateful for Grandpa Sam, my Japanese-American Grandfather, and pay tribute to his masterful life that continues to inspire the very best in humanity.

Remember that amazing trip you took with your best friends?

Experiences are the foundation of strong relationships. The “amazing” part of that trip were the unforgettable experiences that created a deeper sense of trust, a greater sense of appreciation, and a new level of commitment. Friends bring out the best in us. In this era of social distancing, how do we create an experience that captures the essence of those cherished moments?

Ikigai is a Japanese phrase that can be interpreted as your reason for being. It has been cited as a factor in longevity, creativity, productivity, and happiness. Although Western interpretations often associate ikigai with a job or making money, the true definition is personal, subjective, and not connected to “what you can get paid to do.” For many, their “reason for being” isn’t linked to a 9-to-5 job and that’s not a bad thing. Purpose shapes our perspective, fuels our energy, and provides a path of intention.

The intersection between ikigai and friendship is the Japanese concept of “moai.” A moai is a social support group in Okinawa that begins in childhood and lasts throughout life’s journey. In Okinawa, there are centenarians that have been together in their moai for over 100 years! It’s no surprise that Okinawa is identified as a “Blue Zone,” one of five areas in the world where people live the longest, including the top spot in longevity for women.

Personal well-being is connected to the strength of our relationships; In our socially distant world, that’s never been more evident. We’ve learned that investing in friendships also means investing in ourselves. When friends come together to invest time and energy into improving well-being…magic can happen: That’s the spirit behind Ikigai Buddies.

The four-week program delivers expertise from the fields of emotional intelligence, nutrition, mind/body, and strengths-based psychology. You’ll capture new insights, set simple goals, and engage in eight facilitated sessions with your closest friends for support, accountability, and laughter. The program runs four Thursdays in November from November 5th to Thanksgiving Day (November 26th) with a unique opportunity to express your gratitude and appreciation to your best friends on Thanksgiving Day.

Although life is rapidly changing, strong friendships are a constant. Your next amazing friend trip is waiting for you at www.virtualfriendstrip.com

Nearly 50 years ago, Bruce Lee and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar filmed the iconic fight scene in The Game of Death, Lee’s last film before he tragically died at 32-years old. The visual display of a 7'2" Black Man and a 5'8" Asian Man engaged in fluid martial arts was stunning, but more impressive was how the scene served as a metaphor for overcoming life’s greatest challenges.

Symbolically, Kareem’s character represented Bruce Lee’s life’s work; thereby translating the scene as Bruce Lee fighting a larger, more formidable version of himself. During the battle in a dark room, a broken window revealed Kareem’s character’s handicap: the light. To overcome himself, Bruce Lee had to shine a light on his weaknesses.

On May 30, 2020, Kareem wrote an Op-Ed piece in the L.A. Times that put words to emotions.

Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible — even if you’re choking on it — until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands. But we have to stay vigilant, because it’s always still in the air.

The systemic injustice against the Black Community has been illuminated and the light that we’re experiencing reveals our greatest weakness while simultaneously revealing a path toward sustainable progress. And although the acknowledgment of our biases is a big step, the leap occurs when that recognition prompts transformational action.

We’re living in that moment now.

Humans are wired to minimize risk and maximize reward, but that’s not as linear as it sounds. In life, we have control over how we define “risk” and “reward” and the agency that exists in every moment. Who we were yesterday doesn’t have to be who we are today; As the light reveals transparency, we’re all called to take action against the racism that plagues our collective growth as a society.

Bruce Lee said,“The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, but I did not observe it, until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, consuming myself.”

The light has broken through, shining brightly, and our journey toward a better tomorrow begins today.

If you made it this far into the article, then congratulations are in order: The other fellas didn’t make it past the title. Maybe you’re looking for reinforcement on a workout routine, confusing physical fitness with well-being. Or skimming tentatively, ready to pull the rip cord if this turns into a bunch of fluffy stuff. Regardless of why you landed here, we need your help, because midlife men need to level up in a major way.

For those well versed in sports: We’re limited by the turf toe of life. A seemingly minor injury that keeps us out of the game.

For those well versed in business: A bottleneck has disrupted the entire supply chain. We’re operating below maximum capacity impacting every critical KPI.

For those well versed in life: We’ve got more to offer.

Since starting this post, I’ve encountered the following:

1. Yelled out the window to tell my 7-year old son to put on clothes while outside.
2. Got interrupted by multiple negotiation breakdowns over hot chocolate between my 4-year and her 85-year old grandmother.
3. Put on headphones and turned on Tribe Called Quest to focus.
4. Turned off Tribe because I got too caught up in the lyrics
5. Set a timer for 10-minutes, turned on a white noise app, and closed my eyes to reset.
6. Three minutes into the mindfulness attempt, got sneak-attacked by my daughter Face-Timing a friend. “Is your dad asleep?”
7. And the final stop on the distraction tour: My wife asked if I’ve seen her lost phone. We’ve been in quarantine for a long, long time: “It’s somewhere in the house, Dear.”

In the words of Carl Spackler, “So I’ve got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

Bill Murray’s line, used too often by that co-worker, is more than just a punchline: it contains depth and wisdom. “The Lama” tells Carl his tip for caddying isn’t money, but total consciousness while lying on his deathbed. We’ll all have some version of the “life flashing before our eyes” moment. What’s in your flash so far?

What do you want to be in that flash at the end?

At the midpoint stage in life, many men (and women) float in and out of days pushing the boulder up a hill; Occasionally pausing to hit the gym, snag a drink with a buddy, or grab a game to root for the home team. But then it’s right back to the grind, pushing the boulder up that never-ending hill until you hit the cliff and see the flash moment.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why the boulder is so damn heavy and where the hill is leading you?

Ikigai is a Japanese phrase that can be interpreted as “your reason for being.” When you think about purpose, your mind may drift to the boundaries of Existential Crisis Canyon. But it doesn’t have to be that way. How would you approach the question: “What’s your reason for being today?” Suddenly, a path emerges with more clarity.

We’re living in a time-dazed world right now. “Normal” seems like a lifetime ago. Punchlines about “what day is today” stopped being funny months ago. This COVID-19 time warp unlocks a unique view into purpose, drawing clear boundaries between things you miss/don’t miss about the “old normal” and things you enjoy/don’t enjoy about the now.

Want to find your path toward purpose? Write down your immediate reactions to these questions:

A. What do I miss about my pre-Covid-19 life?

B. What do I NOT miss about my pre-Covid-19 life?

C. What do I enjoy about my present-COVID-19 life?

D. What do I NOT enjoy about my present-COVID-19 life?

Your Ikigai Roadmap should be a future filled with more of A and C and a lot less of B and D. Will you have the courage to place your bets accordingly?

The challenge that many midlife men face is self-awareness: We’re so emotionally-armored up that we can’t effectively show up. We were cruising down the road and an unmarked turn has suddenly appeared.

If you’re not paying attention, then you drive into the ditch.

If you’re slightly paying attention, then you slam the brakes risking a pileup behind you.

But, if you’re fully aware, then you navigate the unexpected turn with the right amount of positive stress to steer the wheel, gas, and brake accordingly. COVID-19 is an unexpected turn with many middle-aged men going into the ditch or slamming the brakes because personal well-being hasn’t been a priority.

Ferris Bueller says, “Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.” Midlife has the potential to morph us from a Ferris into a Cameron.

Which one are you?

Right now, if you have a job and your health, then you have a choice. Many of the “barriers” exist between the ears because we’ve constructed our own limitations. The good news is that overcoming these hurdles or re-engineering the destination doesn’t require a grand declaration of life changing behavior; When we identify our path toward purpose (A/C and B/D) we’ve cleared the way to take simple, daily steps with intention.

But beware of the three well-being excuses that will attempt to knock you back to that suspiciously heavy boulder:

1. “I don’t have time.” We have busy, demanding lives, but it’s not a time thing, it’s a priority thing. Improving personal well-being helps the people that we care about most by unlocking the ability to give them our best. A better version of you creates a better version of them which requires an alignment of actions with priorities.
2. Well-Being isn’t “me.” Growth requires smart trade offs. At the midpoint in life, those trade offs demand a hefty toll that can tax the ego more than expected. The incentive to take action is that our timeline gets shorter with each passing year. We may try to rationalize our avoidance, but deep down we know…The biggest barrier to overcome the “that’s not me” hurdle isn’t our boss, partner, kids, or anything else: It’s us. Finding a better version means embracing well-being one step at a time.
3. “Alright, I’m scared.” Showing vulnerability as a midlife man isn’t easy. The paradox is that courage is placed atop the midlife man’s trophy case but is grounded in raw, vulnerable authenticity, the kryptonite for many midlife men. True courage is taking a righteous step into the unknown without the confidence of knowing where it will land. And if that step is miscalculated, admit that it was wrong, learn from it, and embrace the new knowledge to take another courageous step. Listen to the people that you care about and tell them how you really feel. Find the powerful connection between courage and vulnerability. These gateway tools can chip away at that gut-wrenching feeling that may occasionally hit throughout the days.

In Hoosiers, Coach Norman Dale tells the ref, “My team is on the floor” and continues play with only four players. It was crazy. Fans were livid. By keeping Rade Butcher on the bench, Coach Dale crystallized the guiding principles that served as a foundation for the team’s eventual greatness. Recognizing and committing to your guiding principles provides the confidence to take action when departing the comfort zone. It may seem crazy. Your inner critic may be livid. But the victory is worth the effort.

This is our wake-up call. Let’s take the first step.

This artwork hangs above the desk in my home office. It was created by Josh Montueaux, an artist who faced a stage 4 cancer diagnosis and qualified for a trial drug designed to temporarily stabilize tumor growth for roughly six months. Today, nine years later, Josh is still on the trial drug while creating art that celebrates humanity. My connection to Josh was serendipitous; The Bruce Lee piece caught my eye during a first-and-only visit to a coffee shop that closed for good two days later. At the time, I was 18 months into a failed entrepreneurial leap as a 41-year old father with three kids under eight years old. The combination of Josh’s story + Bruce Lee’s message resonated deeply given my fragile state of mind. Inspired by my great-grandmother’s courageous life that preserved the legacy of a 1200-year old Shinto Shrine and a family on both sides of World War II; I had made the decision to depart from conventional wisdom, forge a new path, and pivot my change management firm toward the Japanese concept of “ikigai.”

In 18 months, I had gone from a Director role at a Global Financial Services Firm to some guy trying to help organizations, teams, and people maximize the power of purpose. It was chaos.

Friday, March 13, 2020 was an overwhelming day. It was difficult to process everything. Like most people around the world, my wife and I scrambled to establish structure in our home while immersing ourselves into news cycles filled with unthinkable headlines. That afternoon, I glanced up and saw Josh’s art….then went right back to the media…I couldn’t pull myself away. For the next four days, I sat beneath Bruce Lee while pouring through the chaotic jaw-dropping news.

Finally, on St Patrick’s Day, I pumped the brakes to call my Irish-American mother which broke the cycle and gave me pause. I looked up, saw Bruce Lee’s quote and thought about Josh’s story. It helped me reset, begin to move out of the fog, and realize that social media distancing was just as important to my well-being as social distancing was to my health.

Right now, there are a lot of unknowns with some scary stuff happening out there, especially for those facing serious health and/or financial challenges. I’m not blind to it, nor suggesting that anyone bury their head in the sand. For those fortunate to be beyond those serious challenges, it’s important to note that within the chaos lies opportunity.

Control the Controllables

This concept, adapted from Karl Rohnke, provides a framework for self-awareness. Leading up to St Patty’s Day, I found myself operating in the panic zone driven by a fluid, shifting definition of “comfort.” No school. No events. No travel. Living in Seattle seemed to amplify everything.

It’s now safe to assume that everyone in the world is currently operating outside of their comfort zone in some form. If you’re fortunate to find yourself without serious health or financial difficulties, then what steps can you take to navigate this challenging landscape? Three considerations:

• First, acknowledge that you’ve been unwillingly pushed out of your comfort zone: This simple recognition can empower you to redirect time, energy, and mental calories that are inefficiently preserving a comfort zone that no longer exists.
• Next, embrace the fact that you have control over where you draw the boundary between the Growth and Panic Zones. Your mindset is a powerful tool right now. Periodically check-in with yourself (and others) and ask two questions:

1)Am I operating in the Growth Zone or the Panic Zone?

2)What’s one action that I can take to stay in the Growth Zone?

• Last, approach each day with an optimistic, positive mindset. Connect with friends and family. Moderate your news intake.

Being mindful of the boundary between growth and panic while maintaining a positive mindset can help reclaim agency and improve well-being. As we adjust to a new normal, it’s important to remind ourselves that growth only comes through a departure from the comfortable: It’s the foundation of innovation. Viewing this historical inflection point through the lens of personal innovation can help reframe the threat into an opportunity to reflect, take inventory, and recalibrate.

On the Ikigai Stories Podcast, Josh says, “time is a commodity…the less you have of it, the more it’s worth.” We’re living in volatile times that force us to face some harsh realities, including our own mortality. That reality opens a window to identify the true priorities in life…not the money or the job or the influence…but the relationships, the experiences, and finding the best in ourselves and others. Amidst the chaos exists clarity into what matters most.

Although the temptation of panic is increasingly more present, maintaining possession of your perspective is a powerful tool that is directly linked to your decisions and actions. Said differently, if you want to find depth and despair, it’s out there, but if you want to find optimism and hope, it’s out there too. Positivity is abundant and provides an important bridge to the Growth Zone. Whenever possible, please choose this path.

The road ahead isn’t going to be easy. But when we emerge from this crisis, the roadmap to live with #purposeonpurpose will be anchored by a collective, renewed sense of intention. We’ll get there. Stay positive. Stay safe.