You stayed up sanding foam models while others slept. You asked uncomfortable questions in rooms that didn’t want to hear them. You taught others not just how to sketch ideas — but how to feel them.

You gave everything. And sometimes, it gave you nothing back.

But even when it hurt, you believed. In better. In beauty. In function that felt.

This letter is not to praise or pity. It’s to remember.

That your mind — yes, even in its scattered, tired, overstimulated brilliance — is still the compass pointing us somewhere new.

We are not done.

The future needs rebels. Not reckless, but brave. Not perfect, but deeply present.

So here’s to you — architects of empathy. Strategists of soul. Dreamers with deadlines.

Come back. Or if you’ve never left, keep going.

We still believe in you.

This piece was mostly written in one of my Write Club sessions, with some minor tweaks after. It feels incomplete and unrefined. But the essence is enough to get going with. Please let me know what you think or feel in response.

Before my Write Club session I wrote most of this piece in, I went to a big table in my co-working space with a semi-random (or beautifully serendipitous) collection of books, some paper and some pens.

I only had 45 mins to somehow distil something around the organisational benefits of my Team Shaping workshops using the books as prompts…

..But not enough time and not usually how I roll, so I just sketched some thoughts from my head and then wrote something completely different….

So, let’s get on with it…

I’ve experienced and been exposed to a lot of disconnected design orgs over the years.

Do I need all those books to tell me what I feel, know, and have experienced?

Of course it can help. And these perspectives are based on my experience

The designer-team-org disconnect

Some of the disconnects I have observed:

Designers becoming, or always being, disconnected with themselves.

Disconnects with other designers. With their design teams. Disconnects between design teams and other team in an organisation.

Disconnects all the way. Through and between designers, design teams and the organisations they serve.

I have worked in a number of ways to try and re-connect the different parts. Working with designers, design teams, organisations, and wider product-service strategies over the years. Some more successfully than others.

But it feels now, we are in a different phase of disconnect. After having greater appreciation from our colleagues and peers. Gaining more influence on strategy and execution. Scaling bigger teams. And having compensation packages closer to the value offered.

After all that, it feels like many design teams, and designers within them are crashing hard.

Which makes me wonder:

Is it better to

a) have experienced that sort of love, appreciation and connection, only to have lost the love and be disconnected?

or

b) to have never experienced that love, appreciation and connection before?

A shock to the system

I think for many, the shock of that loss can hit hard. Like a sugar crash after eating a huge amount of skittles at the end of one of my workshops.

Like when intimate personal relationships break or crumble.

We don’t just lose those lovers or those friends. We lose so much more. All the habits, rituals, and patterns of being and doing that came with those relationships. And yet we may linger on the memories. Regardless of how good or toxic the relationship was for us.

Weights of expectation

We may look at future friends or partners with a long list of criteria. Criteria based on what we appreciated, liked and disliked about our failed relationships.

That can be a huge weight of expectation for those new relationships.

A distrust of self and others

Being hesitant, and cautious after a relationship ending is totally understandable. But that sense of caution and self-protection can sabotage future relationships. Raising anxiety unnecessarily. Being afraid to open up or commit. Being more sensitive to rejection.

You know I am talking about personal relationships AND relationships at and with work don’t you?

Organisations are typically complex systems hostile to genuine dynamic authenticity of humans

People have different levels of connection with their work.

We spend a lot of our life at work. Some of us more connected vocationally with the work than others.

Some with tighter weaves between our own identity and how we show up at work and outside. Especially designers.

Some with looser, more fragmented frays.

Some with well compartmentalised personas and clear boundaries between.

What even is the ‘authentic self’ really?

And should we really be bringing that 100% to work?

What if those different personas were tied together to who we really are through elastic bands?

What happens when the fray strays too far from that true you? What if the elastic snaps?

Do you even know when it does? Do you know your own true you? Your authentic self? Many people don’t in my experience.

I consider myself a people-pleaser, shape-shifter, code-switcher, chameleon, ADHD masker, and multi-persona wearing complex human being. I didn’t realise how much it has had an effect on me over the years.

I have had to accommodate so much of what others expected of me. Without realising how much it drained my energy. Or generated deeper questions about who I really was. Those questions pushed down to my darker subconscious for the dark and rainy days of life. Where anxiety, depression and ultimately burnout can surface and thrive.

So, for me, I challenge the notion of the 100% true authentic self at work. If I was 100% me, I don’t think I’d have survived. And certainly not thrived. At least in typical measure of success.

I just don’t feel like organisations can cope with 10s, 100s, or 1,000s of people being 100% truly them.

And even if it magically could accommodate some form of 90s rave dancefloor in a field vibe of love, unity, fun and MDMA-like deeper truth revelations…

(my nostalgic mind wonders…)

…what about the moody Tuesdays?

What about when people change?

When they don’t like the music any more. It got too hard, too techno-y, or the jungle became too moody. Or the hardcore became too ‘happy’ and cheesy. Or they got kids. Had to curb the fun and deal with the harsh realities of life.

You know I’m talking about dance music AND organisations still don’t you?

You see. People change. We change all the time. Our priorities. Our attitudes. Our beliefs. Our skills. Our tastes.

And so do organisations too.

We can’t really expect the organisation and all the people within it to keep aligned with that change all the time. Not fully with all of our authentic selves dialled upto 11.

Maybe I am being too skeptical. I don’t like that side of me. It’s that cautionary set of saboteurs that can alienate people, drain their energy, and ultimately create distance when I (like many of us) seek connection, belonging, and resonance.

So then Jason Mesut. Healer of Happy. What can we do?

Some ways towards re-connecting

I don’t have all the answers, and no silver bullets that will definitely work all the time, but I have some ways I like to help with with. And yes, some of these are products and services that I offer. For good reason. I am compelled to help. Like a helpaholic reaching for that sweet high of helping others, while causing damage to their own liver that is there to help them.

And some I have experienced working with brilliant others.

Some thoughts:

1. Coherent brand
   Really good brand strategy work will honestly connect to the culture and realities of the organisation; how customers and partners see their org; as well as where the organisation wants to sees itself in the world. The customer-facing brand experience as well as the employee experience.
2. Coherent props-to-ops
   Greater connection between customer propositions. And the way the organisation is set up to deliver on those promises.
3. Clearer transitional strategies
   Clearer strategies that connect to the ‘as-is’ as well as the aspirational ‘to-be’. Pragmatic. Conscious. Comprehensive and comprehendible.
4. Teams with a shared awareness
   Teams that understand ‘who they are, what they do, and why they matter’ to other teams, their organisations and the world.
5. Self-aware individuals
   Individuals that understand themselves better through their various layers of self
6. Appropriate energy management
   Better understanding of how much of what energy should be directed within work and to other areas of life
7. A gardening approach to all of the above
   Ongoing monitoring and adapting to the seasons and changes at the level of weather, seeds, growth, weeds, flowering and the ecosystem around.

These are just some high level things. They may seem logical and obvious. But none of them are that easy.

Change is harder without awareness. And awareness, especially at the deeper levels of brand, org, teams, individuals is tough work that can happen over a long time.

And now, we are under pressure to change, and adapt, even quicker than ever before. I don’t see it slowing down for a while for many of us.

So we need to find ways to better sense and respond quicker. Sensing inwardly as well as outwardly. Responding through adaptation, or shifts across our many layers of self, team, and org.

How do therapy, coaching, mentoring, design and my shaping workshops help?

When I think about, and communicate the similarities between therapy, coaching, mentoring and design I often say things along the lines of:

• Therapy is a deeper, longer process, mostly looking back. To trauma from childhood or adolescence. Those experiences that have shaped us. Meeting the trauma and weakening the weights on our being. More relieving through deeper awareness.
• Coaching can be deep as well, but is more forward moving. More hope-fuelled. And empowering. Awareness to, and through, action.
• Mentoring can be shorter, sharper, and advice laden. Advice from different sources and contexts. Shortcut based on someone elses experience.
• Design at its best, rare beast that is right now, connects awareness, action, advice and bringing form to the world. For the benefit of others.

Each of these can be accelerated to different degrees, with different potential consequences.

I find coaching best in complement to therapy for the deeper stuff, coupled with hope-fuelled action-based awareness. Typically individually focused, but systemic team coaching works at the levels of individuals, teams, teams of teams and organisations. That’s super rich and fascinating work.

I believe in mentoring and design as well. Shortcut with advice. Make something. Learn from the making. Make again.

And then there’s the Shaping stuff I do with teams, and individuals.

Use of visually engaging canvas style tools that prompt reflection, awareness, and strategy formation at pace. To shake the jar.

Quickly creating a level of shared awareness of skill, attitudinal, identity, values, value and quality diversity within the team. In order to direct development investment, hire to fill gaps and add to the culture, and resource individuals to challenges that fit and stretch them in line with their desired growth. And not pull them too far away from who they really are, or were.

As I shared at the start of this piece, there’s more to say, and more to refine here. But it feels better out than in. Partly because I want to remind people that I tackle this work through a number of different ways including: Shaping workshops, 1:1 Coaching, Systemic Team Coaching, Leadership training and bespoke consulting services.

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

So I did it. With this post, I got to the end of my Hopamine Advent Calendar Challenge. 24 days of writing about whatever came up for me.

Not really the breadth of topics I was expecting. Not quite the mix of media I had challenged myself to. Not quite the random stimulus I was hoping for.

But ‘done is beautiful’. And I’m done with this for at least a year.

I’m done in a number of ways.

Resistant to switching off for xmas. Because it’s not really switching off at this time of year. And I’m not really very good at switching off anyway.

Maybe it’s more of a re-channeling of energies.

I took on the Hopamine Advent Calendar Challenge to explore a variety of topics and practice different creative modalities. I wanted to move beyond some of the “sombre and darkness” I had been experiencing and writing about in recent years and shift toward a more hope-filled agenda. Some of the topics I wrote about include:

• The need for higher resolution hope in products and services
• Creative success in a capitalist world
• Why people seek coaching
• How play, laughter, and space can be used to address difficult issues
• How I got into coaching

In addition to writing, I also shared some Drum and Bass mixies and experimented with visualizing concepts through sketching and generating images using AI. I also reflected on my own personal experiences with ADHD and my tenth business anniversary.

Overall, it was a challenging but rewarding month of creative exploration and reflection.

Key lessons:

• Do in the morning for a daily dopamine boost.
• Don’t try to synchronise across Substack and Medium — that was tedious.
• Write like noone is watching. It’s all too easy to try and check back on any engagement.
• Try to find more opportunities to go beyond the writing — like the mixes I did. Those were some of the best ways to tackle my challenge on the weekend.
• Don’t try to change the name of the substack on the last day of the challenge. That kinda wasted important hours.

Now, off to some xmas tv with the family.

Hope you all have a great xmas and new year

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

Completing the Hopamine Advent Calendar challenge was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Warning

None of the below is in any way recommending medication for ADHD or other neurodiversity. Or recreational drugs.

And none of it is advocating that you go private, if you’re in the UK.

I am still a keen supporter of the NHS, despite it’s struggles. But, if you are really struggling with what might be ADHD and you have the funds to help you, like with anything, you could benefit from help. Just don’t get too sucked into the social media hot-takes. As funny and as seductive as they can be.

A different kind of manic Monday

Today was a crazed day of doing a bunch in parallel, and not really thinking I was getting much done. And yet, looking back I did loads.

My wife was busy for her last day of work. I got up a little later and didn’t quite get to the office in time like I’d hoped. Finally got some kit working that I bought a few months back, but didn’t get to this ‘episode’ done at the start of the day like I’d hoped.

Challenges easier with rituals

I was reflecting on how this advent calendar writing challenge was easier when I had a ritual of doing most of my writing in a cafe at the start of my day. This time, it’s rare I get it done until near the end of the day. When I least want to be doing. And, actually being an increasing burden on me. The thinking and not thinking about it probably causing more effort than doing it.

I passed my wife in the car, as she was heading out, and I checked in on the kids before taking the dog for a proper walk. Even did a little video which I was hoping to share.

When I got home I went on a mission to unpack the groceries, cook lunch, try and find the crank arm for the pasta machine. I ended up emptying a bunch of cupboards and drawers trying to find it and cleaning some bits out in the fridge.

GP appointment with bad news

15 mins or so before the allotted time, my GP rang me for a phone appointment. I’d recently had an appointment about transferring my care and my medication prescription to the NHS. I just can’t afford it any more. I should have done it sooner.

Unfortunately, I’m going to have to wait for a referral from my GP to an NHS Psychiatrist before I can get any meds subscribed. I was hoping for better news than that. Especially as the medication helps both my focus, and limits my anxiety. Given a tricky past few months, and a few ahead, I need all the help I can get.

Back to the manic

Eventually, after lunch, and some drawer sort-outs, I got the new air-fryer out. A purchase made a few weeks back (Yes, Black Friday) but hadn’t tried yet.

After some cleanup, we headed towards the supermarket to get some more shopping, My wife’s list. My list. Minus the things we’d ordered online.

So I took the kids and we navigated the craziness of Sainsbury’s at Christmas. It’s rare I get to go with just the kids. But being 10 and 12 year old boys, they spent most of their time hitting each other, or me trying to separate them. I breathed a sigh of relief when they said they needed a toilet. And I could just crack on in peace.

When I got home, my wife was back and a friend visited to drop some presents.

I got the food on again, using the new air-fryer. It worked quite well. And then I had to wash everything up, take the dog for another wee, and then put the new lights up.

The boys are watching YouTube, like they shouldn’t be, and I’m trying to steal some time before to do this before we all sit down and watch an episode of something.

Then, I’ll have to play catch-up on some work things (and maybe finish this) while my wife catches up on hers, before doing some wrapping.

So, that’s a little glimpse into the first day of Christmas holidays for us. But that’s not what I really wanted to write about.

Nope. I’m avoiding it again.

Well, for good reason, because I didn’t want to half-arse it. As it’s a delicate topic…

The choice of meds, or coping strategies for an ADHD diagnosis

It’s about those meds. My meds are for my ADHD that sorta got diagnosed earlier this year. I say ‘sorta’ because it wasn’t conclusive at first due to not having enough evidence from childhood. My school reports were pretty tough to read. My mum’s assessment of me didn’t seem to represent what I had expected. And I couldn’t really remember the sorts of things that the questionnaire asked me. I may have suppressed a lot of my memory of that time. Or was just a kid that couldn’t remember all that sort of stuff.

My private psychiatrist seemed to say that I had the symptoms as an adult but because it was a ‘developmental’ condition they’d need the evidence from childhood. Now I know that’s not the same for everyone. But it’s what I got.

I had the option to take some speed, take some happy pills, or just crack on. I know that sounds flippant, but they were my options.

The speed: Amphetamines

I never really did much speed when I was a kid. There were plenty of folk around me that did. But there were better highs to be had. I did in fact have one of my worst life experiences ever after taking speed, but that is beyond what I am ok to share here, or even most places. Not yet though.

1. Happy pills: Anti-depressants

I wasn’t so keen on taking anti-depressants, as I was worried about the ramp-up and ramp-down, especially given we were so close to summer at the time. I might just have not noticed what was the drugs and what was my general improved mood.

2. Crack-on: Continue with coping mechanisms

The last option wasn’t interesting enough for me. And I was worried that the coping mechanisms weren’t working for me when I wasn’t as busy with client work as I had been used to.

3. Take the pink pills: Amphetamines

So I decided to go for the amphetamines, at a low dosage and see how that was.

I had to cut coffee. Ouch!. And make sure I ate, as my appetite would be suppressed. That was a shame, I could do with a diet.

At first, it felt a bit druggy. And my first day where I drank in the evening, I felt weirdly fuzzy and buzzy. I even had some experiences in the daytime where some happy feelings combined with the speed, made me have something similar to MDMA.

Soon, I found myself finding the experience really good. Subtle. Effective. I felt happier for longer. I was able to get things done.

I didn’t have an intense moment of clarity like some folk do. ‘This is what normal people feel like’ kinda vibes the first time the medication kicked in.

But I did notice my anxiety being far better managed. I would notice something that could typically trigger it, but not dwell or spiral on it. That was rather amazing for me.

And, like I said, I felt happier for longer. My emotional curve less volatile.

Sacrificing brilliance for contentment?

In therapy, my counsellor would ask me what I was thinking or feeling. And I’d say I generally felt better. But the thinking wasn’t quite there. In a good way, mostly. But sometimes I would look away to think (when typically I’d have 1,000s of thoughts) and have no thought at all.

As I mentioned in a previous day’s challenge, I was worried I was sacrificing ‘brilliance for contentment’.

Luckily, the thinking came back. And I’ve been able to cultivate some ways to really lean into my creativity. I haven’t mastered it yet, but it’s something I’m experimenting a bunch with.

Cocktails of context and chemicals

Different mixes of coffee (I could bring it back in again later), the meds, THC vape, eating, environment, external triggers and more all helped.

Chemicals as tools

I was surprised that my psychiatrist said (or at least inferred) I could use the meds like a tool. Mixing with coffee, or booster meds. Having days off. Having weekends off. No real ramp-up or ramp-down? This sounds amazing.

It allows me to go a bit easier at the weekend, when in theory the criticality of my to-do list is a lot lower. Usually.

Exploring alternative interventions

Recently I signed up to a course around ADHD. It had a path to becoming a specialist ADHD coach certified with the ICF, and thus the content seemed legit. Not just tips from Tik Tok. A fellow coach in supervision had also been through the programme and vouched for it without selling it to me.

I’m 6 or 7 sessions in, and have been impressed by the way the space is held, the commonalities amongst the cohort, and also the differences. I get triggered by some peoples’ behaviour. But I feel safe enough to call it out and own it.

I’m learning so much. With the meds, it will really help me, I’m sure. Which is so very exciting.

But also, I am hoping I don’t have to reconfigure my chemical makeup with artificial substances if I can find alternatives.

It’s just the alternatives are probably harder work. And I haven’t built the routines, the rituals, or the habits across the wide range of contexts I find myself in. Not yet, anyway.

Some of those habits are going to be a lot of work.

Three lines of hope ahead

But regardless, I have at least three lines of hope from the past year:

1. Medications that I know can work well for me, if I can find a way to get them via NHS or find a way to afford them privately
2. Greater awareness of my self, and normalisation of my condition with others
3. A growing toolkit of hacks, knowledge, models and tools to help me and others’ cope with any negative

I’d love to find ways to use them all together, and experiment with who I am and going to be, and am becoming over the coming months and years.

The backstory

Before I sign-off, I wanted to fill in some of the backstory as to how I got here.

I had suffered from anxiety and some mild depression before. But over the past few years, like many people I speak to these days it seems, I have been learning more about AD(H)D and all the ways it can show up. People I imagined to be the most organised people, were often just masking. Developing sophisticated coping strategies.

I hadn’t even connected Anxiety with ADHD until my psychiatrist talked about the options.

The increasing awareness of the condition from friends, colleagues and coaching clients was one input. But the other was what was going on for me. After over 20 years working across multiple consulting projects in parallel, context-switching, and having absurd deadlines for big amounts of work, I’d found myself procrastinating a lot when it came to my own projects.

It’s cliched, but I needed deadlines. Not my own ones though. And all the related accountability hacks (sell workshops with copies of book, do another talk, get reviews in) I tried only had limited effect. I found myself getting ever more frustrated. Spending coaching and therapy hours exploring my resistance, trying alternatives out. I made progress. Some anyway. On the book. And plenty with myself.

Until it got too much. And I knew I would probably have to wait years on the NHS to get diagnosed. So after discussing with one of my ex-clients and friend’s Benny, I got a couple of recommendations from her. I also got some from another ex-colleague and friend who happened to be a psychiatrist. And I thought it would be a worthy investment to pursue. Only took a couple of months, and I felt like I could afford it.

Until I couldn’t that is.

It was worthwhile for me. And though it’s helping me a lot, I’m still coming to terms with it. Grieving some of my past. Trying to cope in different situations with the increased awareness and toolkit.

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

Finding hope in Chemicals, Context and Rituals was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

My business, Resonant turns ten today, which is a little awkward as my side of the family is descending en-masse to my house. And I would have liked to have had ten times the amount of time to reflect before my little baby gets to double figures. Maybe I’ll do more reflection next year. Maybe never, as I have been rather busy trying to get ready for what’s next.

So, the challenge I set for myself today was to list out ten poignant memories and reflections across ten categories in no specific order. They could be the start of a top ten, but maybe I have forgotten the best and worst moments. Or somehow suppressed them.

Caveat: I decided, based on time to do this off my memory rather than doing a review first.

The tens are across the following core areas.

1. Achievements
2. Learnings
3. Projects
4. Clients
5. Collaborators
6. Cities
7. Work-spaces
8. Partner orgs and communities
9. Events
10. Talks and Workshops
11. 1. Achievements

I could definitely benefit from spending more time with this list and bathing in all I have achieved. I am proud. Maybe I should be more proud.

• Lasted 10 years: Sustained ten years. Still in business. Just.
• Wide-ranging projects: Worked across a range of projects across a range of sectors: from brain scanners, to urban mobility, urban living to sleep apnea.
• Made decent money: Made £xxxxxxx in revenue. And spent (invested?) most of it.
• Led IxDA London alongside Boon Chew and our volunteers.
• Great collaborations: Worked with great collaborators and clients — many who became friends.
• Great conversations: Had 1,000s of great conversations about work, life, design and more. They enrich my weeks still.
• Book writing and early releases: Released an Alpha version of the book to reviewers and early customers.
• Career shift: Trained and certified as a coach.
• Popular posts and workshops: Created a popular series of articles and workshops around Shaping Design.
• Friday Thanks: Thanking people I meet, am inspired by and work with every week
• Graced many a stage: Delivered loads of talks and workshops at conferences and events around the world.
• Pivoted EuroIA 2020 to an impressive online conference as one of the co-chairs.

2. Learnings

I have a few regrets, but even more learnings to take forward and to share with others so they hopefully don’t make similar mistakes.

• Choose a decent url. I didn’t, and it’s been bugging me ever since. Hoping to switch next year.
• Get good accountants who you trust.
• Understand enough about business finances so you are not dependent on bad accountants.
• Make time for interesting conversations, even when busy on projects.
• Work with good collaborators who can challenge you and raise your game.
• Connect to communities that you can connect with beyond the day-job
• You’re not alone. Seek support from multiple places: therapy, coaching, supervision, tech support
• Get help for your website. Don’t do it all yourself. Nearly everyone I know struggles with this.
• I am my own niche. I don’t need to conform to popular personal branding and toxic niche narratives.
• Follow the resonance, even when there is resistance.

3. Projects

This was one of the hardest lists as each project brings it’s own significant challenges. But the following are ones I reference the most, for better or for worse.

• Future urban mobility: Automotive company
• Snoring and Apnea services: Wellness org
• Future luxury in-car UI: Automotive company
• Next generation brain scanner: Startup
• On-Demand groceries: Retailer
• Future of urban living: Property developer
• Entertaining education: Education and Entertainment client
• Retailer-supplier connection: Retailer
• Leadership training over 27 countries and 13 timezones: Management consultancy design studios
• AI Coach service: Startup

4. Clients

I have been lucky to work with some excellent clients. My favourite being ones that challenge me, and encourage me to raise my game in a human way without treating me as just another supplier.

• Alicia
• Nina
• Craig
• Stephen
• Nat
• Benny
• Anastasia
• Andrew
• Angela
• Gary

5. Collaborators

I have spent a lot of my time working with clients and my client teams who I always treat like part of the same team, but occasionally I have worked with other team members who I have brought in or been partnered with.

• Eva-Lotta Lamm, Shaping Design
• Boon Chew, IxDA London
• Stephen Waller, Brain Scanner, Health Informatics
• Andrea Mignolo, leadership training
• Kate Leto, Team Coaching
• Alex Smith, Futures and concepting projects, Human Futures
• Gary Hoff, Leadership training, Futures and concepting projects
• Lee Sankey, Future luxury in-car UI
• Danny Hope, Brain Scanner, Health Informatics
• Tom Evans, Austin AI Coach

6. Cities

I have had the privilege of visiting a number of great cities (and almost cities) across the world as part of my work. Usually without my family, and never enough time to fully enjoy. I hope to return back at least once to all of these.

• Floripa (Florianopolis), Brazil
• Tokyo, Japan
• Stockholm, Sweden
• Berlin, Germany
• Bergen, Norway
• Miami, USA
• London, UK
• Lausanne, Switzerland
• Amsterdam, Netherlands
• Helsinki, Finalnd

7. Work-spaces

During these ten years I worked across a number of working environments. On client-site, in partners’ offices, in my own spaces, and in public spaces. I am still honing my environment-challenge matching system, but it really does help to have different places and spaces for different moods and type of work.

• Home studio, Twickenham
• My new office at Patch, Twickenham
• My Regus office, Twickenham
• 180 House, London
• Shoreditch House, London
• Client offices, Welwyn Garden City
• Landsec offices, Victoria
• The App Business (Now Kin+Carta), Kings Cross
• Coffee shops, London
• Here East, London

8. Partner orgs and communities

I have found community, and work, through a wide range of organisations. Some more about making money than the others. Each with a great set of humans who have been a huge support through these ten years.

• Leading Design slack community
• Leading Design’s Consultant Therapy community including our call, Write Club and Write On
• Group of Humans
• Coaching With Chemistry
• Door Global
• The App Business (Kin and Carta)
• Signal Noise (now part of Economist Group)
• RMA Consulting (Now NTT DATA)
• IxDA
• IxDA London

9. Events

I have gone to events and conferences throughout my career. I get inspired, learn new things, meet new people, re-connect with friends, and sometimes get a chance to share my own perspectives.

• IxDA London: across London
• Leading Design, Barbican London
• From Business to Buttons, Stockholm
• UX London, London
• Smashing Conference, Antwerp
• DesignOps Summit, New York
• Joint Futures, Helsinki
• EuroIA 2020, online
• dConstruct, Brighton
• Interaction Conference (RIP): Zurich, Seattle, online, Milan, San Francisco, New York

10. Conference talks and workshops

I’ve never done so many of the same type of talk before, so most of the below are variations on a familiar theme. Never exactly the same. Looking forward to doing some different things over the next ten years.

• CRM, Lausanne
• Shape your future self, Push UX, Munich
• Shaping Design and Designers talk, DesignOps Summit, London
• Shaping Designers workshop, New York
• Building your A-Team, Leading Design, London
• Shaping Leaders workshop at Leading Design with Martina Hodges-Schell, London
• Shaping Design Talk, Interaction Latin America, Medellin
• Shaping Design Workshop, Interaction Latin America, Medellin
• Public online Shaping Workshops
• Experiment Driven Service Design talk/beer chat with Peter Boersma, Euro IA, Stockholm

That was quite hard to do off the top of my head. I had to cheat with Google Photos timeline to remind me of some of the places. And sometimes it was hard to whittle each list down to ten.

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

Tenth Birthday Tens was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Today is my wife’s birthday. I’m writing this within a 15 minute window before we head out for the afternoon. After some present opening this morning I took the boys and the boy dog out for the morning so one of her friend’s could give her a massage.

It’s also the Winter Solstice. The longest night. The shortest day. The start of Winter.

After today we’ll get an extra minute a day. What will we do with those extra minutes? Will they help us? Or does a shorter amount of time actually help us focus?

In praise of timeboxes

It always surprises me what can get done in timeboxes. There’s no wonder it’s often used in software development, pomodoro techniques, and in a roundabout way Mel Robbin’s counting back from 5 to do something.

There’s something about the pressure, the urgency, and the awareness that you have decided to devote time to one thing for a set amount of time.

But also, there is the forgiving of self. The relaxing of pedantry and perfection. Because you did it in a short set of time.

A timebox sets useful boundaries. And things (usually) get done.

Timeboxed tidy

I decided to take the kids to the office so I could do some tidying and leave my wife to her birthday massage. After parking up, I paid for 90 mins of parking, so we had a limited time window to get some drinks, sneakily eat the bacon and egg rolls we bought, and get on with the tidying.

The boys went onto their devices, while I quickly used the time to get some stuff out of the office and spill into the co-working areas. Giving me space to sort.

After a bit of tinkering on a teleprompter I hadn’t installed and some kit that I lost some screws on, I started trying to sort some boxes, loose paper and some rubbish that had not quite ended up in the many bins.

Before long, I checked the time, and could see we were running out of our parking time. I quickly chucked stuff back in the box, and put the piles of paper back into the office.

I hadn’t done as much as I had hoped, but I had made some progress. And that’s enough. Just a little spike of done-ness to make me feel better about the day ahead and focus on my wife and family.

Timeboxed writing

As I get to this point I can hear my wife stirring. I only have a few minutes to finish the piece.

So, I’ll wrap up now on one more point.

The construct of the advent calendar challenge has always been about timeboxes. A post / a creation / a whatever a day. A window of time to write whatever is emerging.

I have started many posts that I haven’t finished. Published many posts I normally wouldn’t bother. And found it a little more stressful than in previous challenges.

One reason might be that last year, and in fact other years where it was really good, I had a short window at the start of the day. When my thoughts were fresh, my focus at its highest.

Last year, I had between 45–60 minutes at a local coffee shop at the start of the day to get it done. And so it got done at the start of the day. Giving me an extra spring in my step.

Context boxing

As I just wrote that last paragraph I realise it’s more than time boxing itself. There are more facets of context to consider. Where I am. What music I might listen to. Any caffeine, or meds. What my motivation is. What novelty I can employ. How I feel. Probably more aspects that can have an effect on how effective or productive I might be.

So, it can be worth consider what context boxes might work best for you, for specific challenges, tasks, activities, or whatever.

• What aspects of context boxing help you?
• What will you do with those extra minutes?
• What will you do with fewer minutes?

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links

Context boxing was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Today I attended a session about xmas stress with Lily Silverton. She shared plenty of wisdom around ways to make the most of this rare time, and not get pulled into stress, despair and burnout. I even got a nifty little self-coaching journal.

Yesterday, I attended (and supported) three online end of year sessions, and it’s been a week since helping my wife out with her retreat.

A wide range of sessions

The sessions were quite varied in modalities and vibe. The recent ones were:

• Lily Silverton’s Xmas Stress session — in-person at White City House
• Valentina ‘s Tree of Life mapping workshop yesterdat
• Tutti And Irene’s Guided Visualisation to set your intention workshop last night
• Monika Jiang‘s End of Year Loneliness Community Circle
• Kelly Mesut’s Winter Solstice Retreat

Mostly women attending

As seems to be the case with many of the wellness events I have attended over the past few years, it is mostly a female audience with female hosts.

• Why are most of the hosts women?
• Why are they mostly attended by women?
• What’s my role as a care giver, supporter, advocate and potential healer when I am a man?
• Am I attracted to spaces that are more feminine?

Finding my words and imagery for the year ahead

In the last retreat yesterday with Tutti Taygerley and Irene Salter we explored a guided visualisation (in our heads) in order to find our word for the year ahead.

I envisaged some pretty evocative scenes. Possibly imprinted by a rather glorious photoshoot earlier in the year, that helped me see different versions of myself in different contexts in high resolution. But also, connecting with my energies.

It’s interesting how great photos can help imprint an image in our heads. We can visualise something new of course, but what if we had more real high quality photos of ourselves in real life?

I’m not sure why this very simple method works so well for me every year, but it feels lighter than so many other approaches that might make me do more labour before, during and after.

I ended up with the rich image of working with teams in person again.

Not necessarily my teams. But helping others with ‘their’ teams. That possessive sounds wrong doesn’t it? And a few related words: Hope, Healing, Connection.

Healer of hope?

Tutti called out what I was feeling. I could be the Healer of Hope. Or Hope Healer. My own hope and others’ hope too. That’s certainly been a driving energy behind this advent calendar challenge.

This would be moving away from the Happy Healer or Healer of Happy that my name means if you translate the Turkish and the Greek. And I think I prefer to be healing Hope than just Happiness. I’ve been working on the latter, but I think the former is more powerful and more suited to me and the challenges I help with.

Floatier sessions vs more structured ones — I’m still unsure what I favour

Anyway, Tutti and Irene’s session felt more floaty. And I fear that it wasn’t as grounded as I felt I needed. Or maybe it was just right. It’s hard to know for sure.

I have a habit of exploring many modalities when it comes to end of year reflections. Some labour and time intensive (like the Year Compass). Some more emergent. Some guided by others (like the retreats). Some more self-directed (like coming up with my own tools).

It’s always a balance of my context.

• Where am I?
• What time do I have?
• What is the impact of interruptions on my time to focus?
• What else do I have to do?
• What else does someone want me to do?

But, I typically always find any of them valuable. And I don’t need it to stick. None really do, without some active engagement. As I can always approach it again throughout the year with a different head, season, and context.

Mixing modalities and methods

Some of the modalities and methods I have used by myself and with others recently in such sessions include

• Breathwork
• Stretching
• Externalised visualisation — sketched, drawn, written
• Journaling
• Internalised visualisation — imagined in your head
• Naming feelings, thoughts and energies
• Gratitude
• Music
• Models and frameworks
• Visual prompts
• Verbal prompts
• Teas
• Herbs

I find it interesting what resonates with me. Over time, I have been more acceptant of the more homeopathic and spiritual approaches my friends, my wife and various guests at 180 House’s wellbeing events seem to bias towards. Not full tilt witchy though yet.

I’m also curious how much some hosts mix up the modalities. And others keep it pure. There are so many intersections across these different modalities and methods. I wonder how much they consider what might work differently for others vs what has worked for them, and thus are biased towards.

But it’s not just the activities, there is something in the vibe and tone itself of the sessions, and the hosts.

Vibe matching

The vibe and tone is often dictated by the hosts. How warm it is, how scientific, how witchy or spiritual, how vulnerable a space it is, how techno-oriented it is, how much an info share vs a challenge container it might be. It’s an important realisation how resonant some people are to others. Especially witnessing Valentina D'Efilippo in her session yesterday. You could tell how much people there loved her, beyond her work.

Exploring my own vibe and modalities

As I am in the process of planning my own Back Moon Bash retreat on December 30th (tricky I know), and some new Shaping workshops next year, I am curious what modalities, methods and vibe I will choose.

The Shaping Workshops for example, are much more tool oriented, with limited deep reflection. Usually a tasting menu of different tools because I know that different tools resonate with different people. But I also know that each of those tools could have an hour devoted to it, rather than the 10–15 mins I might offer in a typical taster menu version.

I’m also curious what tone and vibe I give off. How it’s different in-person to online. Different in a 1:1 coaching session to a group session, or Shaping Workshop. In a 1:1 chat, or an online end of year party. Which parts of which personas do I amplify, and which do I attenuate. It gets easier when I know who might attend. But we rarely know for sure with enough advance warning.

What has worked for you, and what hasn’t?

I’d be curious to know what has worked for you in the past, and what hasn’t. Was it to do with the host? Their approach? The tools? The modalities? Or something else?

Who are your healers of hope?

Do let me know. It might help people like me help people like you better.

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

Who are our healers of hope? was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Last week I shared an idea for a different kind of end of year retreat or reflection session.

After my initial creative energy exploring potential ideas and then sharing some with the world, the next day the doubt crept in.

Self-doubt suppresses daring acts

I decided to use the moment to reflect on my energy shifts. Less energy. More caution. An increased negativity bias.

I was less inclined to take risks. More comfortable playing safe. I found myself withdrawing from the ideas. Engaging my critical faculties over my more generative creative ones.

Balancing creative and critical faculties

I am fascinated by how people balance those critical and creative faculties.

Exploring what could be vs discerning what might be best.

What do we gain from each, and what do we lose.

I could look at my whole career in design, consulting, and now coaching as navigating between them. Similar to the notion of divergence and convergence that is popularised through the Double Diamond.

I see value in them both. Even though most favour one over the other.

Unfortunately, despite pursuing a vocation where creativity was expected, the truth is very different.

From my experiences and conversations, modern day (digital) design often feels like it only employs a narrow focus of creativity. I know that other design fields can feel the same. There’s just only so much ‘innovation’ that the world needs. Or organisations might think is necessary.

And so we get…

Well-worn patterns. Canvases for anything. The commoditisation of emerging design fields like Service Design, UX and Digital Product Design have helped to shift emphasis in a few different directions.

For example:

1. Into ‘blue collar’ production design work (as Brian Hoadley describes on a recent ‘Being Liminal’ podcast)
2. Or playing games of politics and pseudo business in large-scale organisations.

I know it’s not all like that. And both of those directions are valuable to the world. They require different degrees of creativity. But that creativity is often focused on how to relate to others, communicate, and convince. Or work at micro-levels of efficiency in creation. Limited divergent thought. Just make along a path of guiding forces.

Critical faculties take precedence. Argumentation. Logic. Pseudo-science.

Creativity for problem solving and solution exploration, feels diminished.

Is it any wonder that many designers might fear AI?

I’ve noticed my creativity fade

I’ve never considered myself in the most creative bands of people I have worked with or known. I often struggled with the patience and calm to execute at a quality that I would respect. Or not being as fluid in my metaphors as some inspiring creatives. Tending towards silly alliteration and playful portmanteaus rather than fully reframed metaphors. And focusing on the dot-connecting, perspective shifting, polarity pogo-ing was closer to where my energy would often be directed.

But over time, this started feeling like a more critical, and sometimes cynical thought process.

Possibly due to facing plenty of rejection, shame and guilt for sharing some of my more leftfield ideas. Those unfamiliar ideas that conjure up moments of tumbleweed, disgust, or eye rolling. On reflection, some of those people were probably engaging their critical faculties more than being open and non-judgemental. I think it took it’s toll on me.

On the other hand, structuring arguments, creating logical rationales, and pseudo structure over something inherently chaotic and uncertain was appreciated more. And so, I drifted towards that more and more. As did many of my brilliant peers. Who now may have lost some of their shine.

To me this modality isn’t that special. It does feels more intellectual. And convincing. At least on a logical level. It’s something that management consultancy taught me well. And it does serve me. But feels less spiritual and more mathematical. Less truly true, and more apparently provable.

I’m still in the old skool camp of creativity being magical. I love the alchemy of creativity. Serendipity. Uncertainty. Randomness. The complexity. The energetic sparks and cognitive pops when dots connect in novel ways. And the warm energy of creative flow.

Resonance vs resistance

In Monika Jiang’s session on Loneliness tonight she asked some questions around the frames of resonance and resistance to some of her shares.

That was a super-interesting framing for me. Partly because of my fascination with Resonance (I named my business Resonant). And also because I was unpacking my resistance to the riskier idea I felt drawn to earlier today with my coaching supervisor.

That warm resonance and feeling of the ideas connecting with an underlying need in a novel way was more pleasant and hope-filled than the resistance of actually dealing with it the next day.

Not like a pendulum, but more like slowly shifting climactic pressures of resonance and resistance seeming to flow in subtler ways. And at some points it is hard to decode which is most dominant at any time.

Sometimes the resonance and resistance energies can feel similar. A magnetism and also a fear. Sometimes they offer a fertile friction. And sometimes paralysis, procrastination and anxiety.

Repairing connections to creativity through active embroidery of the frayed threads

Also on the same call, in one of our breakouts one of my fellow attendees said something fascinating in relation to connections. She had been working more consciously to ‘repair connections’. Not just re-connect. But to actively repair ruptures, misunderstandings. Owning what each party may be complicit with. And then actively finding new paths.

Another attendee, who I know, built on this with the very visual metaphor of active embroidery to repair those frayed threads.

A very powerful and visual metaphor.

Creative rejuvenation

And this reminded me of some of my efforts this year to ‘repair the connections’ to my more playful, creative side. And to acknowledge the importance and the interest in the more divergent, gap-finding value creation that creativity can offer.

It’s been one of the most potent parts of this year. Fun, engaging, energising, and fruitful.

Ego getting in the way

One key part of my resistance to the rejuvenation and taking on the riskier ideas, is more about the risk to my reputation. Would I face more rejection again. Or would I find more of my people.

Am I suppressing this other sort of value I offer to myself and others, in order to save face with those who might respect me a little less on their terms?

Once again my ego can sometimes get in the way.

Creative volatility and sacrificing brilliance for contentment

Something I have shared privately over the past 6 months has been an incredibly poignant observation of taking ADHD meds.

At first, I was having fewer thoughts. Less divergence. More focus.

I’ve been saying that ‘anxiety was like creativity in the wrong direction’.

And through the meds, a typically anxiety-inducing thought was noticed but would rarely spiral like it did before.

But also, there was a flip to that. Less anxiety. Happier longer. Or at least more content. And yet, my divergence of thinking was narrowed. I had fewer thoughts. Not the many tributaries upon tributaries that might sprout out of a curious conversation.

In one therapy session my therapist asked me what I was thinking as I directed my gaze to the side. Typically those tributaries would light up in a crazed way. But this time there was nothing. An emptiness.

I was content. Less anxiety. Prolonged positivity. Less darkness. But also less of that creative energy and sparkle.

‘Was I sacrificing brilliance for contentment?’

I was perplexed. My goal of therapy was to limit that emotional volatility. And be happier for longer. And I was experiencing that goal.

And then I realised, it wasn’t what I wanted.

It wasn’t really me. Life might be easier and I might be happier — Less depressed and less stressed — I wouldn’t be able to do what I ultimately loved.

Conscious state shifting

Luckily, I learned to adapt to the meds, and I’ve been able to get a little closer to the best of both worlds. Acknowledging that the emotional contrast may be more necessary than I originally wanted. And my increasing awareness, and toolkit, could help me navigate it.

To sense into how I was feeling, and more consciously shift state.

It’s an area I am a little obsessed about right now. Exploring different interventions to manage mood, shift state and build better awareness through more contexts.

For myself personally, for people I coach, for helping with consulting work, and even the subject of potential work in health and wellbeing spaces.

Connect more with me and my work

I’m Jason Mesut. I help people explore positive futures. For themselves, their organizations, and the worlds they serve. Navigating the uncertainties of their present.

I do this through Creative Coaching, Strategic Consulting, Community Connection, and Shaping Designers.

Want to connect further?
Connect with me on LinkedIn. Express interest in coaching. Get the latest updates on Shaping Design. Or check out my linktree for more links.

The Resonance and Resistance of Risky Brilliance was originally published in Hopamine Advent Calendar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.