by Jennifer Diamant Foulon, 29 July 2020

I fell out of a bus last week and yelled fuck. My surgical mask had somehow hidden a step from my scope of vision, and I slipped and hit the pavement really hard. To be fair, I was also nervous — it was my first time on Paris public transportation in months. My mask became a bandage under gratefully long pants, I got up alone, and I limped to my meeting. The fall, the expletive, the wound that I hid, and the emerging 2020 scar are making me think.

I have heard the F-bomb a lot here in Europe lately. And for those who are unaware, French, Germans, and Italians love a good ol’ anglo F-bomb, not to mention their own local versions. I hear it the most around small and medium-sized business owners, without the bench or the bank to carry them through 2 quarters of nightmare. Many people feel like variations of the F-word are what 2020 is all about. There are the F-enings, the F-ers, and the ubiquitous F-ing newsreel that we cannot stop watching. All of it challenges every single one of us, every day.

2020 is particularly hard for managers and leaders in start-ups and smaller structures as they fight to keep employees engaged, their projects in forward movement, and their businesses alive. I want to nominate the word “pivot” as an honorary F-word; Managers and Leaders being told by their Senior Executives to “just pivot” are struggling with self-doubt, covering for furloughed or exhausted employees, and hiding their own pains in this, this Newtering Normal.

According to a recent Harvard Business Review article, the blurring boundaries between work and home have resulted in Managers being both “soaked and carrying the life jackets”. And the anecdotal data I have pulled from coaches and coachees indicates that summer is as hard if not harder than the spring in terms of remote work and work-life balance. It’s hotter, there are few outdoor activities for kids that are supervised and safe, and the end is just not in sight.

And yet … there’s hope. Some are surprised to admit that project milestones are being met. And there are new projects, new clients, and returning clients for the perseverant. Some Managers are talking about employees that have dazzled during remote work. Authoritarian work cultures have crumbled since, according to a lively LinkedIn thread, “everyone is the same size during a Zoom meeting”. And processes and procedures are being creatively updated, streamlined or punted.

So for all of you Managers and Leaders out there, checking your pipeline daily, expressing gratitude for every successfully received or delivered order, and quietly exhaling as you listen to a slightly-too-long story from a well-intentioned employee, I offer you this collection of F-words and curated leadership concepts. May it help you reflect, recharge, and keep things real.

Focus

What is your priority right now? What is one thing you can do, delegate, or dump that will allow you to focus? When you look at your calendar, and you see what you have to accomplish this morning, today, this week, this month, are you preparing in a way that allows your colleagues, employees, partners, and providers to collaborate productively with you? Make the time. It matters. Focus is respectful, thoughtful, and wonderfully contagious.

Feedback

Remote work can feel isolating depending on the tools at your disposal, and your comfort with these tools. Heads way up you former frequent travellers, the newly remote, and the newly hired. Is remote work isolating you from informal messaging, learning, and relationships that help you to self-regulate and problem-solve? Who can you ask, today, now, for some feedback about a recent meeting, pitch or project collaboration? Does anyone you manage or lead need positive feedback to help them feel visible and thanked for their efforts or improvement feedback to adjust and perform better? Challenge yourself to find the time, the communication channel, and the words to make feedback a priority. Remember — feedback is a form of recognition, a way of showing people you know they are there. And asking for feedback is asking for visibility and the opportunity to learn.

A quick tip — sometimes, it’s better to ask for feedback or offer feedback via phone rather than via video. The mirror effect of people seeing themselves on a screen is not always helpful in these exchanges. Audio can be a more considerate channel.

Fortitude

Fortitude is courage. Courage in the face of adversity. Right now, everyone who shows up for work is courageous. Everyone who puts a Zoom call on pause to feed or comfort or entertain a child, or kick their teens off Netflix, is courageous. Every single WebEx, Microsoft Teams or Salesforce user that admits they are not fully comfortable with the tool is being brave and asking for dialogue. Honor that bravery, Managers, and offer your ear if not a helping hand. And when you are feeling yourself slipping, falling or failing? Speak to it. Ask for support. You might make someone’s day, including your own.

Fun

There is not enough laughter in our video meetings and calls. Humour is hesitant and rare. Be sure that you are “checking in” with people and how they are doing, and not just “checking up” on their work or output. Ask about their current environment. They’ll often share a story of something silly that happened. One of the best remote group interactions that I had involved a participant with young children who wanted to try out their English and say hello on “Papa TV”. The 2 minutes it took, and their pure delight, ended up being the best kind of warm-up for a fantastic workshop. Laughter and common experience can relax people and open up listening in ways that are essential to maintaining or building connections.

So fuck it. Go ahead — start your next meeting with an F-word or concept. And maybe do what I should have done and tell people when you fall. We’re all in this together.

Jennifer Diamant Foulon is a Leadership and Salesforce Effectiveness consultant based in Paris, France. This is her first article for The Medium. Comments welcome. https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-diamant-foulon-57a132/