“Never go! People are scary! Those strange places will eat you up!”

Despite of what people said about people traveling alone, we just couldn’t resist the feeling of wandering around by ourselves and explore what it is out there has to offer. I’m not gonna lie, going to a stranger place seems scary. But it won’t stop my journey to see the beauty though. And trust me, waiting for your friends or family to buy that damn ticket, will waste your time even more.

For all the first timer being a solo traveller, especially female, I know things might have been spooky and strange. And for that, I have written down some things that has been helping me along the road. Precaution is a must.

Don’t worry, these things might have been a lot, but you could prepare it in a zip!

I tend to make copies of my passport, visa, ID card, driver’s license, insurance card, and then spread it on several places. On the back of my journal, the bottom part of my backpack, the inside part of my sleeping bag, the wallets, or any other places that you think it’s well hidden. Never put it in one place.

The digital version is also important! Put it on one or several apps that is well protected, of course on your phone and your laptop too (password protected!)

Same goes with your money too. Keep your stash money well hidden in several areas.

As a woman, I always put my safety first. I took couple of self defence classes to keep me safe. It’s always best to know the basic first. I also learned from a travel buddy whom I met along the way, that she’s always hold her keys ready whenever she is on the road to go home. She will use the key as a weapon incase something happened.

Knowing how to ride scooter, motorbike, and car is a plus! I prefer to rent my own transportation, not only because it’s cheaper, but it’s the freedom you should enjoy. Getting lost with your scooter is the best way to explore!

Cooking is also handy when you stayed in one place for so long. Homemade food is good for your health, and of course who wouldn’t miss their own hometown food?!

You don’t know any of those? Learn it from now. Everyone has their first time. And these skills might become handy during your travel.

Before going to an unknown place, do your research by browsing or read the guide book of what you should do or what you shouldn’t do. Some countries have their own culture and manners that we need to follow.

Checkout the TripAdvisor to know which great accommodation and fit on your budget. You can also find any Facebook groups to join or simply ask about anything that is unclear about your destination. Find also activities that matches with your interest.

Make a perfect plan for your pleasure ☺

Unless you were planning to go to North Pole with heavy coats, never ever pack more than you should. Count on how many outfit you were going to wear for the trip. Selection of weather and places is important also. You wouldn’t bring a bikini when you hike a mountain, yes? Sometimes I use Pack Point app to remind me of what I should bring.

Do your own laundry on the road is the key. Cheaper and you don’t need to bring many clothes!

Be a low profile traveller is one of the key of enjoying the trip. Get to know a bit of language and get in touch with the locals are the best experience.

There are several website that you can use to connect with them. I love doing Couchsurfing, I have done its many times even when I got back home. With Locals also offer you experience to many interesting activities with the locals. Sometimes I even try MeetUps to find new information and just take trips together with other travellers. But the unpredictable one is when you meet other solo travellers in your hostel or in your tour group.

Always, always ask for the name card of your hostel is the first thing that I do when I landed. If I were already had a SIM card for my phone, always pinned it on Google Maps. Ask the receptionist for the map and listen to what their suggestions of what you should see around. They are your angels!

Don’t forget to ask if there’s anything that you should be aware of if you were alone. I love getting lost in nowhere. But when you don’t have internet or map, this is the tricky part. You have to memorise several places as you wander around. Simple thing that will take your interest; the cute little cafe with funny names, the post office, the police station, or anything that will mark your journey. That’s how you will trail back the road you have taken.

My travel buddy once gave me a very useful tip. Whenever you want to ask somebody where you are or which direction to take, ask the teenagers or children, preferably with elders. Because youngsters nowadays already learned English much better and if they were with the elders, the elders will know lots of information. They both can help you.

I don’t recommend you to play with your handphone all the time during the trip, but I always let my family and friends where I am or what I am about to do. So then they would not worry and know that I am safe.

Thank God for the social media that helps you connect with your beloved people at your hometown. I also send the documents by emails to my best friends and family incase something happen. I always let my best friend know what I am doing or what is my plan for the next day. So then someone back at home know where to reach me.

Take photo of everything that is important! Not just that gorgeous view or that yummy food, but also documentary of your travel. It might become your life saver in the future.

The sign of the hotel, the bus or train tickets, the name card, and what I always like to do is taking the photo of the license plate of the transport you will hop on. Sometimes I took pictures of the guide or the locals that has been helping me too.

For more precaution, send the photos the people at home, so then they will know exactly where you are.

It’s important to maintain your health during and before the trip. So always take some vitamins and get a good rest especially days before the trip.

I love trying new food especially the local food that you could never get in your own country. But be selective in choosing places to eat. Try to look for a place that is crowded with the locals is a must. You don’t need to eat in a fancy restaurant with five stars. Sometimes the tasty food is that small stall around the corner.

One tip: take a peek on their kitchen. See if it’s clean and the ingredients that they have are fresh. Then get to know what it is you are eating, ask the shop lady, or google the ingredients before you eat it.

So you ready for your first big adventure?

If you have any more tips, please share on the comments below. Would be great to help each other ☺

© 2015 Writing is copyright of Marina Utami.

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Originally published at jejakmarina.com on March 19, 2015.

Aren’t you afraid? Do you think it’s safe for a woman to travel alone?

I got so many questions like this while I was abroad. People were looking at me like I was insane. But solo travelling was an empowering for me, a life-changing experience and it outgrew my personalities more and more. It’s not always enjoyable when I am alone but if you want a rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.

So, why do I travel solo? And why should you consider doing it too?

Freedom. A Chance to be Yourself.

Have you ever noticed how you decide what to do, what to eat, where to go, or many other things when you are with plenty of people? Your friends like this, so you follow them. Your family decide to do this, so you have to get along with it. Mostly everyone around your life influence your activity for the day. It is the same when you are travelling with other people. You have to adapt with their schedule and their ability for the trip. Sometimes it is even hard to make a decision when there is a group of people with different interests.

When you travel alone YOU are the decision maker.

That means you can do whatever you want to do. You can eat what you’re craving for today, you can go to the places you want to go, you can choose the outfit you want to wear, you can extend you stay or you can move on. Everything is up to you.

You are in charge of your own destiny.

Marina in Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

You will gain Independence.

Many of my female friends say that they are more confident and feel happier in a “safe area”, either with a life-partner, family or just with friends. We do feel comfortable when we are surrounded by the warmth of the people that we love.

I feel blessed having so many people who love and care for me. But each of them has their own problems and you can’t always depend on them. Sometimes you need to trust in yourself and be aware how far it is your own will to survive

Solo travelling taught me how to get to know new people, how to drive a motorbike, how to handle my packing problems, how to book and cancel my own tickets, how to find the road and to read maps. I learned so many new things while I was on the road.

Never put the key of your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Marina driving a motorbike in Ayutthaya, Thailand.

It will boost Your Confidence

I had my times when silly things happened to me like getting lost in nowhere, or being scammed during my travels. Bad things can happen but these experiences will let you grow personally and you will figure out your own limits.

You will be more confident because you have seen the good and bad things in the world, you have mastered many challenges in your life, you know what your goals are and you have prepared to reach them. You know you can rely on yourself.

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.

Marina in Mandalay, Myanmar.

You will become more sociable.

When you travel with your family and friends you will have plenty of memorable moments with them. However you might not notice the other backpackers in your hostel or in the restaurant. However, when you travel alone you will recognize the people around you and you will notice that it is surprisingly easy to make new friends. Even though you might have language barriers and cultural differences, people will become more tolerant and most likely glad to offer you a hand, especially when you are alone. You will experience and feel the human kindness.

So you might think that travelling alone is sad and lonely. It is most definitely not.

My days of solo travelling are always filled with new people and travelers who are part of my adventures. It is not the beautiful destination that makes the trip worthwhile, but the welcoming hands and the smiling faces of the people that pass along the journey.

A simple hello could lead to a million things.

Marina having lunch with a Vietnamese family.

You will be grateful of your life.

Travelling solo has taught me so many things in life. Personally I really love it. However not all women will make the same experiences as I made. You might not like solo travel and that’s okay. At least you have tried it and you have learned that you need to have human’s affection in your life. You might not like the long road and suddenly you missed your old desk in the office. Whatever it is, you will feel grateful about your old life.

Or, you might love the freedom and consider to be a world traveller instead. You might become addicted to the uncertainty of life and curious to what it has to offer for you. You might realize that you don’t need to follow the rule that has been set for you.

Nonetheless, the first time of solo travelling will make you wonder what the purpose of your life is. You will find out that there are far more options than just settle down with what has served for you. It will open up new perspectives of your life.

Take that chance once in a lifetime.

Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for the great.

Marina with her travel buddies in Ayutthaya.

Thanks to Tim from Universal Traveller — Travelling Around The World for publishing the story for me. Hope it inspired women all over the world!

Originally published at www.universal-traveller.com on February 25, 2015.

People said when we are about to do a life-changing- moment, something always happened to make you stop from it. And that is exactly what i was going through 2 months before the big trip. It wasn’t actually a big reason or something bad happened, but it really made me think twice about going on this trip.

And actually it was just because of.. a guy. So cliche i know, i know.. And the truth is, it didn’t even end well. I was left heart broken and hurt so bad, i had my time when i was angry and upset because i know it will never work out. I felt so bad and blamed myself for being fooled and made that kind of mistake.

The last day in Bali, i decided to spent it with my friends because “He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Name” couldn’t even keep his own promise to meet. And it was the last promise that made me change my mind about him. He dissapointed me again. I was wrong about him. My friends were right. None of my friends were agreed when i told them with all the situation we’ve been through. “It is hopeless relationship mar. You are the one who end up hurt. Not him.” And i should have known better. He was a jerk.

One of the reason that i was sad when i left Bali. is a fact that i could never be back to Ubud again. Too many memories that reminds me of him. Ubud. My second home. The first city where i lived by myself, learnt how to be independent and to survive without depending on others. Its a home where i find many people whom i called family, who always supported me and never left me alone even though i did so many stupid things. They cared for me too much, i feel like i dont want to leave them. I was loved.

Even when i was about to board in airport, my eyes were teary and thought about not going to meet then again. I cried when i was at the airport gate and hugged my best friend, Arma. I know they will always be there for me. And i believe in second meeting. It wasn’t a goodbye forever.

And then i embark on my big-life-changing journey.

Turns out travelling was the best option for every heartbroken. Along the way, i learnt new things and realise that the world is not evolve around you and “He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Name” only. I met so many amazing and interesting people that made me forget that i was felt broken before. I have seen how people do their daily life so differently than every countries i have visited. People who sold the food on the street, driver who looked happily smile on tuk-tuk, a family having dinner in front of their shop, and i always love looking at what the elderly do on the park; just stretching, playing games or do some sports. I find it interesting to see how the people interact with others with different cultures. I have met so any local people and travellers who shared their stories to me, and it made me feel like “He-who-Should-Not-Be-Name” is not that precious to cry on. Many people that you met along the road is way more worthy to meet. I am happy that i didn’t choose to stay.

I have traveled for less than 1 month. I was devastated before when i left my country. I was scared that i will never get out from this dwell. But time do tell. Time will heal your wound. And travel makes it easier to forget how badly broken you were.

Traveling can mend your broken heart;

It will help you surpass the hurt part and learn how you can appreciate people in your new surrounding.

It will help you open your eyes to the things you didn’t even know it existed in the first place. You will see the world differently.

It will make the time more precious for you and suddenly, without you even notice it, you will learn to love yourself more.

It will change your perspective. It will change you. You will learn to grow up and understand many things why and how they are supposed to be. You will be independent.

It will help you to accept that everything flow and fall into place. Everything will happen in the right time and in the right moment.

Traveling is the cure to help you get through the wallowing days of broken heart. You will be more peaceful and more patient. Getting to know new people will help you notice that you are never alone. There are people who is in the same step as you. You are never be alone.

If you are broken heart and don’t see any way out of the dark aisle. Just close the sad door and turn your way go see the world. It is not like you are running away. But it is a path that you need to be walked out of your misery.

Travel saved you.

© 2015 Writing & Images copyright of Marina Utami.

Originally published at jejakmarina.com on August 4, 2014.

As I looked back on my Facebook wall about “Marina’s year”, I found myself feeling grateful than ever. Scrolling through the photos with my beloved friends and family, not once I saw myself without a smile. I feel blessed.

One year ago, I would never think to the point where I would leave my home, living somewhere near the sea, do the long term travel, and came back to the big city again with a new perspective of life.

I change. Travels made me change. The way I look at my old surrounding, the way I interact with people, the way I handle the problems, i feel it. I grew. Sometimes it’s scary but that’s okay. I know that I have so many people that will remind me that I am not alone. I am never alone.

2014 was the highlight of my journey. These are what I have learned so far:

Being Independent is good.

But relying yourself to strangers, that takes courage.

“Going alone is scary! There will be people who would do bad things to you!”, Oh yes, that’s what my grandmother said. Over and over again.

Whole my life, I was being told that the world is a scary place. Women should never go anywhere alone. Being single is not good. I should have a partner and live a comfortable life.

I have proved her wrong.

Traveling alone was the best experience I have ever had. I loved being on my own, depending on myself, and deciding what I want to do without having being told to from someone else. But I realise that all these times, I have never really done it by myself. I met wonderful people who took me into their lives, who would opened their doors for me, who would care, listen, and understand what I have been through. Of course, I have couple of best friends that i can always reach on by my phone and Skype.

My host in Malaysia, an Indian guy who would sacrifice his own bed and slept on the floor, so that I could sleep well on a mattress after traveled for so long. The Malaysian guy who was tired of working the whole day but still wants to showed me around Penang at night. The amazing people of startuphouse.asia in Bangkok who always welcome me with warm hugs whenever I came back to the house and said “Okaeri” (Welcome Home). The Australian old man who helped me crossed the border in Vientiane. My travel buddies from U.S whom I just met, but we decided to travel together in Laos and Vietnam.

My long pen-pal in Hanoi whom I finally met, he introduced me to his family and friends, showed me his hometown, and above all he always worry and protect me from being hurt. The caretaker of the Koh Rong Inn where we stayed, he took care of me and Arma as if we were his children who were lost. The guy who trusted us the key of his apartment in Phnom Penh, even though we haven’t met face to face. The people in Gutter House Phnom Penh who took us in for their big birthday party of their friend, and in the end they taught us to speak Japanese instead. The amazing villagers of Inle Lake where we were being a part of their family and they showed us their daily life. And I would never forget the kindness of the guide in Shwedagon Pagoda, who showed us the beauty of Yangon city with bus and train the whole day. It was the best day of our time in Yangon.

It was filled with laughters and tears, funny and awkward moment, but still it was amazing to have this kind of encounter. Looking back, I was actually trusting them with my life.

People who would spent their quality time just to be with us without any meaning, I believe it is the kindness of a human being. And I believe that it is worth the risk to trust.

Every problem has solution.

I am not gonna lie. I had some bad experiences during my journey.

Getting into a taxi who tried to rip me off, the tour package that didn’t give me exactly like what they said it would be, guys who tried to got me into bed, people who tried to use my kindness for their benefit, people who gave me wrong directions when I was lost and that damn airlines who wouldn’t let me fly back to Thailand.

Oh I had my moments where I just want to scream and let the angers blurted out. But then again, what was it for? It won’t change anything that just happened. Instead, I took a deep breath, calm myself down and start to find another way to settle down.

Being on my own, means that I have to make the change. I am the one who needs to solve this issue just by myself. That’s it. And if there aren’t any, just wait. I believe in waiting. Time will tell.

Appreciate the time and people.

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

When I was traveling through Laos, I was a bit upset with the long journey. The available transportation was only bus and it took so long through each cities. No other choice eh?

But I never thought that the journey was amazing instead. I was spoiled with the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen during the road. I couldn’t even sleep, I kept clicking my camera every hours and felt the greatness of the Creator above for making such a beautiful nature.

One of my favourite spot to go is the park. Each time I visited a city, it’s the park that I always pin on first. The park is where you can finally see how the local people live and spent their afternoon. People who likes to do sport, people who takes their pet walk around, or the couple who dates behind the trees, sometimes its all the same in every country. But they do it in such different way. You’ll see by yourself ☺

I get used to go anywhere just by walking. No matter how far it is, no matter how long it takes, I know that i will learn something new during my trip. So instead of going anywhere by taxi, I prefer bus or train where I can also connect with the local people. It has become a habit to talk to a person that I sit next with, whenever I am on the road. They have incredible background story and they would love to share it. Not so rare that every travellers gave each other tips on how they made their journey through the city they has been. When you’ll meet people who had the same big backpack like yours, you feel like you already have a friend to be with.

So now after I came back to my country, I felt that I should appreciate more of the time I spent on the road. Because truly, the progress matters the most.

The world is big.

There are far more important things than your own problem.

Four years ago, after I had my full time job, all I could think about what I should do with the money. Which handphone should I buy? What movies should I watch this weekend? Which restaurant should I go with my friends? Back then it seems like it’s life and death on how to spent what i had earned.

After visiting COPE museum in Vientiane, it has changed my life. It change on how I look at the world.

COPE is an organisation that train and help disability kids and adults who were mostly injured because of the remaining bombs after Vietnam War. So many kids sacrificed their lives to dig into the remaining bombs in the soil, so they could sell the metal and earn money. Seeing the pictures, watched the movies and looking at the photos, I felt that my heart was breaking into pieces. COPE opened my eyes. That the world is big and there are far more important things that I should be aware of and take a part in. I promise myself that i would contribute more for society and give more for the world.

Museums are the places where I learned that each countries has their own history that made their characteristic. I used to think that Indonesia is the best country in the world (oh I still do!) But after getting to know these countries, I notice that they had their own beauties that no other places could offer.

The world is so unique that each places has their own charms that you cannot resist. See the world by your own eyes, and open your mind to what they could show you. The culture, the history, the culinary, the life, the view, and most important thing is the people. Take a part in their life and society, they will blow your mind. ☺

Being alone: My voice matters.

The night before I start my journey, I was panic. I couldn’t sleep, I kept thinking about leaving my beloved friends and family, and going to the unknown places. By myself. Alone.

What was I thinking? How stupid I am of leaving all these wonderful life that I had. What would I do if something happened?

Oh I had my stupid times during my first week on the road. I cried a bit and thought that I would want to go home instead.

But after spending some time on the road, turns out this journey has awaken me. The real me. I got comfortable being on my own. I learned how to depend on myself. I learned who I am truly without anyone told me who I am supposed to be. I notice that people wants to see and hear the real me. My voice matters. No matter what i do, people will always criticise anyway, so why bother being someone else? I choose to be myself.

I was free. I can show people my real side without having influences from friends and family. I finally know what is my strength and weakness, and i am still trying to improve myself.

Sometimes you just need to get away from the people who knows you better. You need to find yourself without other people tells you to, so that you can realise it by yourself, how far would you go if you were alone.

p.s: 2014 was a blast! I didn’t expect that I would still survive and feel “alive” through out the year. This year was unforgettable! My turning point in life.

I would like to express my gratitude to all of my friends who always supported me in Bandung, Jakarta and Bali. My beloved family and my father in heaven. Next, to Startup House Bangkok, Gutter House Phnom Penh, all my hosts from Couchsurfing, all of my travel buddies whom i met (You know who you are!) April Gee, Troy Wong & Bee, Syaffiq Azwan, Raymon Busby, Kyi Mint, Shiho, Gracia Stephanie, Armadhini Darmawan, Ngan Tran, and my best friend Nghia Nguyen and Nala. I felt so blessed having met all of these nice people during my travel in South East Asia. Someday we’ll meet again! ☺

© 2015 Writing & Images copyright of Marina Utami.

Originally published at jejakmarina.com on December 24, 2014.

Get scared of them. Oh, yes. You are reading just right.

Why?

Because she learned to survive.

She has tasted the night under the stars and lived by the shine of the moon. Once or many times slept through on the boat in the midst of the ocean. She became comfortable sitting on the bus for hours, and she knows how to enjoy herself while waiting.

She has starved, she has lost, she has danced in the rain, yet she knew that worrying is never a solution. She knows how to handle problems and she knows how to deal with it.

She knows the skills to survive and she will never be afraid to confront on what she justifies.

Because she follow her instinct to trust strangers.

She has been scammed. She has been cheated on. She has been stabbed by the people she knew. She learned that she couldn’t trust people easily.

But she has been helped many times by strangers on the road. People that barely know her. She trusts herself even more to put her faith to unknown people. She knows she has to follow her woman’s instinct.

This is the part where she learned not to judge people by its look. She learned to never care about their nationalities, what colour of their skin, or what histories do they left behind.

She lives in the present and she loves the kindness towards her.

Her instinct of trust are more polished than any women you’ll ever meet.

Because she always surrounded with people.

She is never alone. She loves touching human’s souls and she loves to share her stories. She loves having inspiration from people. She learned how to be friendly and greet people. She understand that one smile can build a life-time friendship.

Sometimes she feels alone in the crowd for one second, but then new people always come around and want to get to know her. She find herself traveling together with different group once she landed in a new place.

You would think twice to attack her, as she is always surrounded with the many people. She is protected in so many ways.

Because she is a strong woman.

She learned how to defend herself. She understands her limit as a woman, yet she is still pushing towards between the lines.

She knows how to protect herself. Yet she dare herself to take the chances. She has walked barefoot many times within miles. She has bathe in the waterfall and jump her way through the sea. She cycled and trekked through many places and she felt blessed in every step of the journey.

She challenges herself to try new things. She learned to make the impossible happen.

Because she appreciate the time, people and the journey.

She loves to breath in the new atmosphere along the road. She learned how to be patience. She understand that one thing comes at a time. She began not to sweat small things and just go with it.

She loves laying her head on the window of the train and notice the change of view outside. She enjoys the time of waiting for the bus and started to make conversation with the people sit next to her. She loves watching the local families interacted with each other and she loves playing with their children.

She sees the beauty of simple things and appreciate the time has been given to her.

Because she knows herself.

She depends on herself. She made her own schedule for the trip. Sometimes she throws them out but often times she sticks to her big plan. She knows what she likes. She knows her own interest. She did her research, she learned the history and culture, and she knew what to do and don’t.

She knows her deficiency, she knows what she lack of, so she has prepared for the worst and still taking the risk. Because she doesn’t want to miss a thing.

She is full of confidence, she knows where she belongs and she doesn’t care what other people think.

She is making the time of her life.

So you should beware of meeting a solo female traveller.

Because she might not need you. She loves her freedom and she doesn’t care whether you will come along with her or not.

She is a fighter. She knows respect but she could never be ruled. She will speak her mind and do whatever she wants, whether you like it or not.

She is not easily impressed by wealth and branded things. She hates spoiled men. She prefers experiences, travel stories and life meaning to share.

She is not afraid to talk with strangers, more or less she will bond and help them whenever she can. She is open minded to everything life has to offer.

She cherishes every friendships she made along the way. She believes everyone teaches her something in life. She loves to get inspirations from anyone anywhere.

She will grew her wings to fly by her own.

© 2015 Writing & Images copyright of Marina Utami.

Originally published at jejakmarina.com on February 22, 2015.