Dear black woman,

You are enough.

You may not hear that often or at all. Your friends might be too busy competing with you. Your government might be too busy taking away your rights. Your school might be too busy ignoring you. Your boss might be too busy calling you aggressive. Your church might be too busy judging you. Society might be too busy stealing from you. Your family might be too busy controlling you. Your significant other might be too busy changing you.

But I’m not too busy to tell you the that YOU are enough. YOU are worthy. YOU are everything you need to be.

Signed,
A black woman that needed this love letter today too.

I wrote this letter a few weeks ago on a particularly hard day, and I revisit it almost daily now. It has become a reminder to myself that no matter what happens in this world… I’ve got me. On June 3rd I’m launching a weekly love letter to all the freedom fighters working hard for change that goes beyond who is in the White House. Sign up: https://tinyletter.com/GetFreeSaturday

I demand a lot. I stand behind my principles without wavering. I show my emotions without apology. I’m loud when I want and I’m quiet when I need to be. When I stop caring, you’ll know it. And just like I breeze into your life, if you cross me I’ll tear through your existence with the power of Oya.

I’m petty and I refuse to play to anyone’s expectations of what a woman is or should be.

One thing I’ve learned as a difficult black woman is that people love you when you are difficult on their behalf. People love you when your determination and stubbornness mean you finish everything you start, or you’ll read someone threatening your friend for filth, or when you refuse to be silent about something they also believe but are too afraid to stand up and speak.

Difficult black women…ALL black women are only useful to you when we are taking care of you.

The moment we stop, the moment our difficulty turns on you… we’re tossed away. We need to be brought down. We need to be embarrassed, humiliated, and put in our place.

We’ve seen it a lot lately. Maxine Waters won’t shut up about Donald Trump so insult her hair. April Ryan won’t stop asking valid questions attempt to embarrass her in front of her peers. Susan Rice is just simply a badass so use her as a scapegoat.

And it happens so much to black women everyday it became a common theme in the #Blackwomenatwork discussion.

The backlash starts to take a toll on you eventually. You can only be asked so many times to be more agreeable, nicer, compliant. You can only deal with so many trolls in real life and on the internet.

So hug a difficult woman when you see one and remember everything she’s done for you in the past when you aren’t necessarily benefiting from her behavior.