Because being self-aware isn’t just knowing your strengths, understanding your personality or recognising your habits. Sometimes, it is looking in the mirror and admitting that you are the problem.

And that isn’t always a comfortable thing to do.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the ability to admit when you’re wrong, own your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions, whether or not the person you’re admitting them to will receive it nicely. Whether they forgive you, judge you or, as we say, beat you for it.

You are human. You are not perfect. You will make mistakes. That’s a fact of life.

I’ve made mistakes too.

I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt people, betrayed people and had moments I wish I could go back and handle differently. I have had to confront parts of myself that weren’t particularly flattering, and I have had to accept that sometimes, my actions didn’t reflect the person I wanted to be.

But one thing I have never done is parade myself as a perfect human being. Not once.

I have never claimed to have everything figured out, and I don’t think I ever will. Life happens. Sometimes, we know better but still don’t do better. Sometimes, our emotions get the better of us. Sometimes, we disappoint people, including ourselves.

But I believe there is a difference between making mistakes and refusing to acknowledge them.

For me, self-awareness is being able to remove my ego from a situation and say, “I was wrong.”

It is apologising without attaching a thousand excuses to the apology. It is acknowledging that I hurt someone, even when hurting them wasn’t my intention. It is understanding that having a reason for my behaviour doesn’t automatically make that behaviour right.

You can be provoked and still respond wrongly. You can have good intentions and still cause harm. You can be hurt and still hurt someone else.

Two things can be true at the same time, three things actually, or even twenty, your intentions don’t cancel out your impact.

I think one of the biggest hindrances to personal growth is our inability to accept that we sometimes get things wrong. We are quick to explain ourselves, defend our actions and point out what the other person did, but how often do we genuinely pause to examine our own contribution?

Not every failed friendship is someone else’s fault. Not every misunderstanding is because people don’t understand you. Not every criticism is an attack on your character.

Sometimes, you need to sit with yourself and ask, “Could I have handled that better?”

And please, self-awareness is not self-hatred. It doesn’t mean constantly beating yourself up over your past or allowing your mistakes to define you. It means taking accountability, learning the lesson and making a conscious effort to do better.

You can acknowledge that you were wrong without deciding that you’re a terrible person. You can apologise and still forgive yourself. You can accept that you’ve hurt people and commit to becoming someone who is more thoughtful, considerate and intentional.

You cannot grow beyond what you refuse to acknowledge.

I think we would have healthier friendships, relationships and communities if more people were willing to look inward.

So, be kind to yourself, but be honest with yourself too. Be humble enough to admit when you’re wrong, courageous enough to apologise and mature enough to understand that growth sometimes requires uncomfortable truths.

You don’t have to be perfect. Nobody is asking you to be.

But don’t let your ego rob you of the opportunity to become better.

And if there’s one thing I hope we all learn, it’s this: being a good person doesn’t mean you never get it wrong. It means you’re willing to recognise when you do, take responsibility and keep doing the work.

That, to me, is the gift of being self-aware.

I like love, I love love, I want love. I want a love that makes me feel light. I want a love that I don’t have to beg for. I want a love that listens. I want a love that gets me. I want a love that I don’t have to calculate the amount of love I give or receive. I want a love – the type that doesn’t count wrong or doesn’t say, “Oh, you called me, you didn’t call me.” I want a love that tells me beautiful things without me asking. I want a love where we can look into each other’s eyes for hours without saying a word. I want walks in the parks, random gifts, random kisses, random texts, random food! Thoughtfulness! This is key for me!

See, there’s a lot I want from love.

But love is stressful! Because why does being crazy about someone turn me into such a mush? At least, for me, I know it’s the first sign that I am “crazy” about a person. Other signs include being preoccupied with the thought of them from the minute I wake up to when I sleep. I would think of random conversations with them, wonder if they have eaten, imagine what they are doing at every moment and most importantly, are they always thinking of me? There’s also the inability to look at anything without thinking, “I want this person to be here” or “I would love to share this with this person,” or “This person would love this salad, I should bring them here.”

A personal fave, has to be the way thinking of them makes me smile like a goat. I get all fuzzy inside and happiness is the one emotion I can’t hide, so I just walk around smiling sheepishly every time someone mentions their name or reminds me of them.

Finally, being crazy over a person is expensive and it makes me want to buy them the world. I am sorry you are part of the world, but I will buy you and give to my man if I have the money!

Interestingly, I can do all these, but will I ever tell them I love them? Never will I ever do that!

I like seeing love, I enjoy seeing people who show their love publicly. Sometimes I want to shout at them and say, “Come onnn, kiss each other!” Passionately, please, let me just see and feel it. Pure love is palpable; pure love is desirable. I can never feel jealous of seeing people in love, because I know the peace it brings.

Focus and Sharon, my two friends who are very in love, they do annoy me, but every time I see them do something together, I’m just so happy for them! You need to see the way he looks at her! That girl with her big head, but I love both of them. Okay, I derailed. Back to me!

So, I’m in love. In my head, I’m in love. I’m just waiting for the person I will give my entire self to, and who will give his entire self to me! Withholding nothing! I know it’s Jesus, by the way, but I want a human man. I have love in my nieces, but I want a man, please!

I deserve love, and I will get love. I know I’ve been closed off for the past year and a half, but am I ready to open up again? I’ll find out! I tried to try it one time, but the person was too much like me; we would have beaten each other in the end. Our hard guyness didn’t allow us to see the road. Cheers to love though, even when it hurts us, we try yet again!

It may take some time – days, months, or maybe even years – but I do deserve love, and I will get the love I deserve. Washout!

Thanks for reading.

It would also mean a lot if you left a comment, what is love to you?

Okay, goodbye❤️

Hi guys, how are you? Please answer.

6 months ago, I got a job I loved with all my heart, and 7 days ago, I resigned from that job.

Lol, I already said when I share this, the “are you okay” questions and “what happened” will come flooding, and my warriors will pounce, honestly? Go for it if you want.

I turned 28 last week and I made a joke when I resigned that went “ended 27 with a job, started 28 without one” but it’s not funny 😂😂

Life can come at you at any time. That’s why I stand with the mantra “Live your best”.

It’s truly a long story, one I can’t stop thinking about, one that truly hurts cuz if you know me, I really liked this one, there was every indication not to even take it in the first place, but I wasn’t patient enough to listen, I left a toxic place to a even more toxic one because I wasn’t patient.

One day, I’ll be able to tell the full story, maybe when I’m done being resentful about it, or feeling like I’m not enough, or that I’m dumb, but for now, all I can do is trust God and rest because it’s all by His will, and not mine.

It has taken me so much to write this, and I was not gonna share it, but here I am.

I honestly dunno what next, I’m scared of the unknown of course, money, my family, how to survive cuz I honestly cannot think of where to start in finding another job cuz well it’s a lot right now, but I’m just honestly trusting in the process, learning to trust and to rest because I’m very burnt out, and overwhelmed, and I just wanna get through life in the best way possible. I’m living, learning, and thriving.

I am not gonna say so much, but one thing is certain, I serve a big God, a God who cares, who loves, who protects, who provides, who is the Lord of all, and I trust Him, with all my heart.

To you reading this, especially if you’re in a difficult period, any area, hold on, something big is coming for us. Believe it❤️

Till next time,

Sparkle,

Love, Jeetee.

Aunty baby, Mumse, my roomieeee,

I already wrote three different tributes for you, but I’m not sure I want those out, they have my innermost thoughts written in them, so I’ll send this instead.

I love you roomie, the times spent with you were one of the best times of my life, you single-handedly made law school for me, I was so glad when I saw that you were my roommate, I knew we’d be unserious together, but I was so sure we would have the time of our lives, and we did! You were the glue of God safe us, the funny one, the angry one, the overprotective one, our big sister who was still the purest at heart. I am so thankful that I encountered you, that I was a part of your life, and you mine, all I have of you are great memories, no bad one. I knew your family like they were mine, you spoke about them all the time, they will miss you aunty baby.

I have so much I want to say to you, but this book will not be enough.

I am consoled by the fact that you’re resting in the bosom of the lord, and you have eternal peace and rest. As Psalms 34:18 says: “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” God will heal and comfort us who you’ve left behind, and He will envelope us in His warmth.

Till we meet at Jesus Feet my roomie, sleep beautifully and peacefully. I miss you dearly. My life is not the same without you in it, but I’ll be okay.

With love, your roomie,

Jeetee❤️.

I know you cannot, and will never read this, but this is the only way I can process.

My roomie, my ever shining roomie,my bubbly roomie, my stylish roomie, my beautiful roomie, my friend, my sister.

There are no words, there are no words, none that can ever quantify how much you mean to me, notice I didn’t use past tense? Because you can never leave my heart. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be writing you a Rest In Peace note, no Noomi, No! But here I am, you left me, we were meant to do this life thing together, we were meant to show up and show out for each other, but no, you left me, I know you’re a fighter baby, but God! I’m convinced that you really just wanted to rest because you tried your best, I know you did, but Nigeria took you from me.

You went to buy something, I’m pretty sure coke was among the things you went to get, but the devil that works overtime manifested in someone to kill you, they tried to kidnap you my roomie, they couldn’t, and the next thing, they shot you, why?? I’m just trying to get it, why? Why would anyone want to take your life? You who couldn’t hurt a fly? Like how?

I have words for them, but not right now, this isn’t about them.

Naomi, is this a bad dream? Am I gonna wake up and hear you shout that it’s a prank?

Naomi, your mommy is crying o, you know you hate when she cries, your dad isn’t even speaking, please na, you know you love his voice? Why are you doing this?

Naomi, Boma is eating Eba this morning, you know you always insult her, come and tell her to stop eating it. Naomi, Boma is crying, Yolanda is refusing to pick my calls, Shenkah and Sharon are not doing okay, Shindara and Esiro are speechless, I can’t tell people where you are, we are not hearing from you, I don’t get it, why?

Naomi, please, this wasn’t the plan, I’m broken in so many ways, roomie, I can’t speak, I’ve not laughed, I didn’t even laugh with anyone in church today, why are you doing this to me?

God!!! This is so unfair. They said they are burying you this week, looool, what?! Why?

God! Holy Spirit please help me, I cannot do this. This cannot be our reality, God, I can’t question You, but come onnnnn! What did we do to deserve this? This babe was pure, she was a perfect child, the only child of her parents, Jesus pleaseeee!

Help me Jesus, I’m not myself.

I’ll write you again Noomi, do mistake and not answer me, just do mistake.

Till next time,

Your roomie, Jeetee.

entitlement

/ɪnˈtʌɪtlm(ə)nt/

mentality

/mɛnˈtalɪti/

The entitlement mentality is defined as a sense of deservingness or being owed a favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment.

First off, not everything is about you. People are going through stuff daily, deep, and surface stuff that you don’t know about.

Sometimes, we have to step back, and put ourselves in their shoes.

Sometimes, we are forced to believe that the world revolves around us, but it does not, and sometimes, being entitled isn’t our fault, the humanness in us just jumps out without restraint, and that is why we have to think first, and understand a situation before we react.

We tend to throw tantrums, and be manipulative when things don’t go our way, and this is absolutely wrong.

I will use myself as an example.

A few weeks ago, I released my affirmations cards for sale, with the expectation that all my friends will buy it, or at least advertise for me. It is something I was truly excited for, I had worked on it for almost two years, I had so much hope. The congratulations were a lot, but the support? Barely any. I got upset, irritated, and utterly gutted. I started guilt tripping my friends, and started using certain words I’m not proud of, I was really hurt because I expected them to buy, or at least advertise for me. I learnt from this experience that you shouldn’t depend on your friends and family so much in business, that’s why i don’t do business, too much heartbreak. Sorry, I deviated.

Back to my story. I was upset, why? Because I expected that people would come through for me, because I thought that I was a good person who comes through for people (I am, by the way). So, I was upset. Then I calmed down, and I told myself, what if they don’t have this 7k? What if they had lots of bills to pay? I said “ehen, and so? Why can’t they at least push it for me”, but what if they couldn’t because they feel bad they can’t buy? You know, a lot of things went through my mind, and then I calmed down, and said, when it is time, I will get my due, it’s about patience. However, there are some people I don’t rate again sha, but that’s gist for another day. (I will speak about reciprocating energy soon)

It is perfectly normal to have expectations, because you deserve to be treated as a special person who also treats people specially, but like I said earlier, step into their shoes for a hot sec, and try to be understanding.

Remember, you will not always get what you want, so you have to learn how to deal with occasional disappointment.

It is however very normal for you to ask for the love you deserve, it is okay to ask to feel safe in any relationship/friendship you are in, you are not self-entitled when you ask for emotions and love to be reciprocated. Your needs are not bad, don’t be afraid to ask, but you must also do the needful.

Don’t get upset because someone did not tell you about something/event/life or didn’t do something for you, why not just ask? It probably skipped their mind. It’s very important to communicate.

Don’t assume everything will go your way, and having healthy expectations is normal.

Don’t forget to communicate, stop keeping things inside ya chest, it will explode wo.

Tor, till next time,

Don’t stop shining,

Love,

KJ✨

/ˈkrɪtɪsɪz(ə)m/

Definition: the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceive faults or mistakes.”

Google has explained it for us and it’s great. However, many people do not know how to criticise properly.

Yes, we live in a time where everyone takes things personal or to heart, it’s not the best, but, we are wired differently, and honestly, people’s lives and their decisions are not necessarily our business, except of course if it’s detrimental to their lives and ours.

Back to the topic.

I recently had an argument with someone, and it got me thinking.

If you know something so well, and someone doesn’t know it as much as you do, how do you tell them to do better without bringing them down or making them feel some type of way?

I think it’s hard and easy at the same time.

It’s easy, because you can say it in the friendliest way possible, eg: Heyyy, Sharon, I think your dance was beautiful, however, what if you added azonto to the gweta, I think it will add some pizzazzzz to it, and give a lovely finish. If Sharon doesn’t get it the first few times, that’s okay, do it again and you’ll see that it will be easy for her to ask you what she can do better.

It’s hard when you just talk without thinking, and hurt the person’s feelings, and continuously do it, and think that oh yes, this person isn’t doing something well, and the next thing is to talk them down. That brings frustration and tiredness and ultimately, lack of self-esteem.

You cannot go around spewing words because you feel you’re better than someone, without thinking of how they will take it, you can chest many things doesn’t mean others can. You have to be graceful in everything that you do, because, everyone is going through something, and you shouldn’t add to their stress.

Ultimately, it’s okay to criticise, however, when you criticise, make sure you have a solution on how to make it better or right, and don’t always be a critic, it’s not a good look and people will avoid you, it gets really tiring, especially when you do it with an attitude or with a look.

I have so much more to say, but I’ll stop here for now.

Stay kind, stay graceful, be a builder, and not a destroyer.

Love always,

KJ✨

Every day, I keep saying “I’m tired, I’m tired”, and it started manifesting. I was becoming physically and mentally tired, it started showing in my face and even how I related with people, I started snapping so easily and it affected everything.

This year started off so great, my sister got married, I got a new job, sweet relationship, financially alright and then I started confessing negatively and it went down the drain, one after the other.

I lost my first job, it took a toll on me, I didn’t even bother to confess positively, I kept saying rubbish, personal life as well took a hit, I didn’t bother and then it affected my present job, everything was just anyhow, I lost myself and actually became tired because I complained.

I became so demotivated, asides the fact that work had its own pressures and all but I contributed to it, I was so negative, saying that little “I’m tired” ruined a lot for me and so I’ve decided not to anymore, saying as little as “my head is paining me” or “this isn’t working out” changes a lot. I believe in God and He has said I should speak life into everything and so guess what?

I started speaking life and life started being soft for me, even in difficult situations, it became soft, even where it was super uncomfortable, I’ve spoken life and so it’s coming into fruition!

So yeah, speak life, no matter how uncomfortable it is at the moment, it’s gonna turn around, there is really power in the tongue and in the mind because even when you think it, it will happen, sometimes, you can think it because you can’t control it but speak the positive!

I have big news btw, but let’s keep it till later.

Until next time,

You are a star!

Never let anyone dull your sparkle,

Speak life!

Love,

KJ✨

I’m in that same state, some days, you’re extremely happy, some days, you’re extremely sad, some days you’re overwhelmed, some days you feel light, some days you just wanna sleep and let all the troubles go away, some days you want everyone in your space making you happy, some days you just wanna be alone with your thoughts and some days you feel some kind of peace.

It’s a phase that can be draining, it’s not the best phase but it is a phase. It’s a phase I can’t wait for to be over, as stressful and as overwhelming as it is, a particular phrase comes to mind: NA WHO GIVE UP, FUCK UP!

As vulgar as that may sound to some people, it’s something that motivates me, to me it means, if I give up now or put off my light, I will make the world a bit darker and those on my path won’t see anything and many more meanings sha, so I hold on a bit longer and remind myself that each day is a blessing and more blessings will come.

I am tired, I am spent, I am demotivated and some days I cry but crying is good but on days like this, I talk to God, I don’t ask for much, I ask Him for one thing, I ask Him for Peace, a kind of peace that is calming, a kind of peace that is reassuring, a kind that makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about, He may not answer me right away but He does, I get the bursts of peace, and I know that very soon, it will be complete! Oh how much I yearn for it, but heyyy, good things come to those who wait and even if waiting is the hardest, the reward that comes with it is massive, I know this because I have experienced it.

So yeah, to us, who are struggling with this thing called life, we gon be alright, I don’t know when, but we will, cry wo, be a hard guy but not for too long, your circle may not be able to always fix it but I know a guy, His name is Jesus Christ and He will make things easy for you, just don’t give in yet, remember, NA WHO GIVE UP, FUCK UP!

Your miracle is coming!

Shine,

Love,

Jeetee ✨