On the subject of HB 481, what would become the country’s strictest abortion law, I am disappointed that this bill has made the progress it has and outraged that there is not more opportunity for public debate. As I believe it is never too late to share a point of view, as a Georgia resident, voter and tax payer and as executive of a large and growing business, I can see that this bill, and the reputation it would create for Georgia, is bad for business.

As a business person and proud Atlantan, don’t make it harder to recruit and retain talent we need to grow our businesses and our economy. Don’t make it easier for other states to keep taking large corporate headquarters and events that rightly should be in Georgia. We have worked so hard to create a thriving community of startups, students, talent, entertainment and creative industries, tech and more. Vote NO ON this bill and prevent adding one more reason businesses and talent choose to locate somewhere else.

As a mother of an 18 month old boy with a little girl on the way, if you really want to help families, work on a bill that helps democratize access to quality, affordable, childcare for families and that makes paternal leave more consistent across our state. Help create an environment where families AND business can thrive and your communities can prosper. These points of view are mine, but know that I am not alone. This is an emotional and highly polarizing subject, on which many have opinions, but few have the courage to speak out.

I hope this sharing of my concern, my belief that we can work together to pass fair legislation that moves us forward and doesn’t take us backward, and my appeal, that although there are varying personal and political views on this topic, taking our state’s economy, reputation and safety for doctors and women backward, falls on open hearts, minds, ears and eager pens to vote NO.

As a taxpayer and voter, I know your job is to protect the welfare and economic potential of your constituents, that includes but is not limited to ensuring dangerous legislation does not pass that can further marginalize women and people of color, as well as mid-low income individuals. The populations most affected by this law already have trouble taking time off or work, making ends meet, finding access to safe, affordable medial care. This only further minimizes their economic potential and increases the likely civic and tax burden associated with that. Many of you likely ran and were elected on platforms of economic growth, jobs, education, healthcare, safety and more. This bill threatens many of those things.

I don’t know if you have ever been a part of recruiting and retaining companies and talent to our state, but I have. I do it almost daily. I have to fight old perceptions and personally take people on tours on the best our state and cities have to offer, show how we have become one of the best places to raise a family of today’s generation and prove why we are such a great place to recruit and attract talent — a key challenge and need for business leaders today. I am proud of who we have become and are becoming, our diversity and progress are our strength.

Under the previous administration of Governor Deal — although there were different political and personal ideologies, there was alignment at most times in our government, that economic potential lifts our communities out of poverty, brings prosperity, creates opportunity and builds the success of our state, and therefore the people in it.This bill is a move in the other direction — a signal that the state is moving backward — to laws that were changed 50 years ago.

The fact that HB 481 has made it this far is already creating questions of our state’s future ability to attract talent that is desperately needed in a competitive job climate. This includes having a state that can attract and retain students who want to go to school in a place with policies and laws that are fair and balanced, young workers, many of whom are women, who want to know they have access to safe and legal medical care for the most difficult of scenarios. It also includes mid-high income business individuals, who understand that businesses and events bring their economic fuel to places like Georgia, because we DO NOT have backward policies and laws that put communities at risk and out right discriminate against those who already struggle.

Women make up 52% of Georgia’s population and nearly 49% of Georgia’s workforce. This bill would drive away talent from Georgia and also prevent new talent from relocating to our state. Businesses would incur increased costs for paternity leave and employer-provided healthcare plans, not to mention the increased opportunity cost of recruiting hard-to-find talent. This is only the beginning. I understand this a topic that divides many of us, but what should unite us equally is safety, freedom of choice and economic opportunity. You can vote NO to this confidently, because you are saying YES to so many things critical to our state’s health and welfare.

On that note, there is a reason the two largest medical associations in Georgia — the Medical Association of Georgia (MAG) and the Georgia Association of Family Practitioners (GAFP) — are publicly speaking out in opposition to HB 481. This bill, with the criminalization of physicians, will continue to drive away doctors and OB-GYNs. Georgia is already the worst state in the nation for maternal mortality rate and nearly half of Georgia’s 159 counties do not have an OB-GYN. This is already embarrassing and unacceptable. This bill would exacerbate the problem, putting more and more women and mothers at risk

I would be failing you as a taxpayer, as a woman, as a job creator, as a vocal supporter and literal investor in our state and our economy and as a passionate advocate for healthy, thriving families, if I did not share these things with you. You aren’t hearing more because it’s scary for people — it is not without risk for me. I want to build businesses and raise my family in a state where fair, balanced laws are in place, where my daughter and son have choices they should have to care for their health and well-being, and where I am proud of the environment, culture and system we are building together for our employees and citizens.

On the personal note, based on the statistics, many of you, either directly or in your immediate family or circle, have had to deal with the termination of a pregnancy (whether you are aware or not). The tests that show a family life threatening status of a pregnancy only begin to be available at 10 weeks, and those only show the potential, confirmation typically isn’t available until many weeks later. And that is for those that can afford it, as it is not free, and even with insurance costs hundreds of dollars (or more) for those trying to have as much information as modern medicine makes available as early as possible. This is a horrible time for a woman and her partner — often a husband or male partner — making an emotional decision when faced with difficult and sometimes life-threatening circumstance.

Thank goodness in Georgia these horrible circumstances haven’t been complicated by the procedure needed being illegal. Over 50% of patients already have one or more children and 75% are economically disadvantaged. Don’t force our citizens, who already struggle, to have unsafe procedures, take time off (often hourly jobs) that they can’t afford and slip further into economic despair. Abortion was legalized in the 70’s by the Supreme Court and further legal in Georgia for a reason. Don’t take our state backward almost 50 years!

I will end where I started as it should be restated.

Don’t make it harder to recruit and retain talent we need to grow our businesses and our economy. Don’t make it easier for other states to keep taking large corporate headquarters and events that rightly should be in Georgia. Vote NO ON this bill and prevent adding one more reason businesses and talent choose to locate somewhere else. If you really want to help families, work on a bill that helps democratize access to quality, affordable, childcare for families and that makes paternal leave more consistent across our state. Help create an environment where families AND business can thrive and your communities can prosper.

This is an emotional and highly polarizing subject, on which many have opinions, but few have the courage to speak out. I hope this sharing of my concern, my belief that we can work together to pass fair legislation that moves us forward and doesn’t take us backward, and my appeal, that although there are varying personal and political views on this topic, taking our state’s economy, reputation and safety for doctors and women backward falls on open hearts, minds, ears and courageous pens to vote NO. I would be failing you if I didn’t share these perspectives, and you would be failing our state if you let this bill pass. Even though it’s emotional and tough, and I know you are in situations where decisions are big and processes aren’t easy, there is a way to honor the many cultures and beliefs and choices of our diverse community, enhance our families and build businesses. HB 481 is not the way to do that.

Sincerely,

A woman, a mother, a wife, a business person, a job creating taxpayer, a voter, and a signal of our state’s hopeful future,

Kat Cole

Most of us have a moment when we wish we could get more done with what we have or even wish we had something different or “more”: time, relationships and energy to name a few. One of the techniques I’ve learned to use across all parts of my life is the concept of “checking in” to make the most of where I am and who and what I have in my life.

My two best “checking in” practices are first checking in with myself: “The Hot Shot Rule” (envisioning a badass in my role and challenging myself to see my job through that new awesome person’s eyes) and second, checking in with others for feedback: most commonly, “Check-Ins” with my husband (on what we call our monthiversary).

The headline of these practices is that making space to pause, reflect, connect, share intentions and take action not only demonstrates openness, but it actually moves us (and the things we are a part of) forward, faster.

I cover the Hot Shot Rule in other posts, but I get asked often about why personal “check-ins”. Here’s how it works:

My husband and I reserve an hour each month for hour ‘check in’. This is always on our ‘monthiversary’, the day of the month we met. This is an immovable object, a ritual, a saved space with the explicit purpose of connecting and giving and receiving feedback. It’s a celebration of each other and our valued relationship as much as it is a commitment to grow together for ourselves and each other. If we are traveling, we face time. If we are in different time zones, we make it work. If the baby is busy or crying, we wait until he’s asleep. We sometimes check-in in the morning over coffee, other times over wine at home — wherever we feel most focused on that day.

We first review our calendars from the last 30 days. Life is a whirlwind, and it helps ground us in what has gone on — good, bad or otherwise. We then remind each other that this is focused on our relationship (not just general occurrences), but if something really stands out — it’s our question to answer.

Next, we go through our check-in questions. This is what you all have asked for — so this is the part to copy, paste and modify to make it work for you. Each question starts with, “when you look back at the last 30 days, what is….”

1. …The best (thing, event, moment, memory)?

2. …The worst?

3. …One thing I can do differently (more, less, etc.) to be a more effective/better partner for you?

The wording of this question is VERY important. Asking for 1 thing to make me a more effective partner seems to create optimal conditions for candor and focus. We used to ask for only 1 thing, then we noticed we were getting lazy and broad with this question. We wanted to challenge ourselves to get more specific, so we changed it to 1 item for each: what should I stop, start, continue, so it’s really 3 things. It took us over 2 years to need that evolution, so I recommend starting with just “1 thing to do differently to be more effective”, then when you graduate to wanting to go deeper, move to the 3 things:

· 1 thing to Stop

· 1 thing to Start

· 1 thing to Continue

4. Your biggest worry?

5. Your biggest point of pride/brag?

6. Your greatest gratitude?

7. Optional share: What is the thing that I/we spent money/time on that provides the most value /least value

8. Goals check in — how can we help each other with goals? Pick 1 or 2

9. What is one thing I have improved, what is one thing I have not improved (from our check-ins or stated commitments and goals)

10. What is an area we want to improve or focus on with family/our son?

The goal of this exercise is to dig deep, be specific and candid, listen and feel, ask clarifying questions, have further discussion if applicable, and most importantly, to grow for each other and ourselves. This DOES NOT take the place of discussing things in the moment — it is simply checking in on things that stand out most from the last 30 days.

Each quarter we do a deeper dive — our quarterly off-site — which sometimes is a vacation weekend or a ‘staycation’ day (which just means getting a babysitter for a few hours). We take more time to go through our past month’s check-ins, our personal and professional goals, our family goals and progress, go through our calendars for the next quarter, and make any updated commitments. We do the same thing at the end of the year as an annual check-in to wrap up the year and prepare for the next.

You can say this is soft and fluffy, or you could view it as total badassery in helping each other level up as an individual and partner. If it sounds like business planning, that’s the point! We put so much energy into our work and career planning because money and jobs are at stake — but what about the much more valuable elements… our relationships, love and our families? That’s at stake, too and deserves reflection, intention and action. This practice helps us invest time and energy in the things that matter most.

When we met and realized we had something special, we decided we would have as much (if not more) intention around our relationship and our family as we do around our business. 36 monthly check-ins and 12 quarterly off-sites later, I can tell you that not only is the practice foundational to our relationship as we move through life’s changes together, but it also builds muscles of communication, humility, and courage that shows up in our lives every day — in between the check-ins.

We have shared this practice with many friends over the years. If they implement it, they consistently come back and share how it has meaningfully affected their lives for the better. Some of them extend it to other parts of their lives with similar positive outcomes.

Checking In may seem simple, but if you unpack its power: pausing to reflect, being intentional, and taking immediate action can literally change your life at home and at work for the better. The exercise takes work and gets easier and better (like many things) with frequency and consistency.

As intimidating as it can be to envision feedback we might get from checking in with ourselves or others, I have decided to be more afraid of what happens if I don’t know and don’t change. Think of the opportunities to grow you could miss, the chance to listen and learn, the opportunity to connect and understand how you or what you are doing is viewed, and as importantly, the opportunity to improve.

Don’t be afraid to start. In fact, be excited to get this going in your life or add it to parts of your life you haven’t previously. It does take humility to ask what can you do better, and it certainly takes courage to face the answer and apply the learning. However, I know that if I put my head in the sand and hope to not make waves or dig up a topic I’m avoiding, that I’m that much farther away from getting better.

Checking In is the art and practice of what I have learned are the 3A’s of constant self-improvement: Ask. Answer. Act. I believe we’d be better off as individuals and as a society if we were more reflective and intentional in our efforts to constantly learn and grow. I hope this enhances your relationships and life in the way it has mine!

Voting — don’t let work be the reason you don’t!

The midterm elections are upon us, and it is your privilege and right to vote. This is a note to the leaders in our company to be sure all of our teams know that they get the time off they need to vote — work should not be the reason they can’t get to the polls. Be flexible, give them time, and don’t have all day meetings on Tuesday Nov 6th. People have to juggle families, travel, traffic, work and other duties — sometimes it requires extra expense, childcare, etc. just to make it all work. Some don’t live near polling facilities, which takes them extra time as well.

Our position as a company is that we are so grateful for our freedoms, democracy and right to vote, and if someone needs hours, half a day, or more to make this work — we should be able to figure that out amongst our teams. Early voting is available in some areas now and should also be encouraged if personal or work schedule are tough. This is not always easy, but it is generally possible, especially when leaders make it important.

(It’s also covered in our handbook that employees will get the time they need to vote), but policy alone is not enough. We should do more than mandate the time, we should encourage it.

We want the voices and votes of our entire community heard and counted, and I want to be sure that “work” isn’t a reason our team members don’t make it to the polls.

Please share this message or your own version of it, and be sure your leaders aren’t unintentionally scheduling things that could hamper someone’s ability to vote. Encourage them to encourage others to make the time and to share that the company will give them the time. Every vote counts!

If team members don’t know where to vote — here’s a link for Georgia, but share a link for polling locations in your states to make it easy, wherever your teams are! https://www.ajc.com/news/national/2018-midterm-elections-when-vote-how-register-what-bring-georgia/18y2yO0biBqUkT8tZuQUPI/

Honoring those that have fought to defend our country and those that are stepping up to lead in office, and in defense of our ability to shape our communities — this is the least we can do as an employer.

Go rock the vote!

Kat Cole

President and COO

FOCUS Brands

Dear Baby Ocean,

One day, you will read about onerous times in our history — these recent weeks being one of them. You will not understand how the wronging of others went culturally enabled and even seemingly endorsed. You will be particularly puzzled how those with power harming those with less (or none) could fail to own up to those wrongdoings and even seem to endorse their social reasonings. When you are older, you will be better. It is why you will look back on these days with such disappointment — but I hope you will see how it was part of the acceleration of a better way to be.

I hope you become the type of human who does not enable, support, encourage or participate in the verbal, physical or emotional abuse of others. When you hear or see someone demonstrating mistreatment of another, you will let them know — we don’t do that here. When someone else is bragging about exacting their will on another without consent, you will call them out, and bring it to the appropriate people’s attention. Because we don’t do that here.

You will be a part of a better day, a higher standard, a level of respect that all humans are owed. I see this better day starting now, and I hope that by the time you are older this is the norm. If it is not yet, you will be a shining light, an exception, a leader amongst lesser men.

There will be no, ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘oh that’s just locker room talk’ — because those beliefs and behaviors will be dated, criticized and not tolerated, because we are all collectively better than that, and we don’t do that here.

You will hear of stories of your grandmother being abused, of my admission of being sexually assaulted and people in the news bravely coming out to tell their stories, so much so that it may seem like an epidemic. It is. But things are changing. Victims realize through their shared experiences that they are not alone and have power. More men and women are speaking up to change the culture for the better. Because… we don’t do that here.

This is the lesson I hope you learn from this time most importantly: Sometimes the fastest way out of a mess is through it. You should know that at this embarrassing and trying time, many wish some of these accused (mostly men) would outright say, “that was a standard of behavior that was the norm when and where I grew up — it wasn’t right. I wouldn’t allow it in my presence, my family or my community now — I wish I could undo it — we weren’t the first, but we hope to ensure soon will be the last…and here’s what I’m doing to make it better. And mean it. Deeply. Because…we don’t do that here”.

I hope you see that coming forward when someone has wronged you in a personal way is hard. It’s embarrassing, and you think, “I will do my best not to put myself in any similar situation again, I’ll be socially exiled if I call them out, I’ll be viewed as tainted, troubled, untouchable — so I’ll stay quiet. But then, in a different time, and place, it happens again to many. The culture was and is not yet set up to empower victims, because the shame is real. There is a shift going on now, in this time, where victims see the benefit of coming forward, not just to shine light on the damage, but to empower others to do the same. We hope that aggressors think twice before taking action, and others are encouraged to shift the culture positively with their peers. I hope by the time you are older, this has all changed and you are a continued part of the progress.

I hope you will read about the real shift that happened at this time; that leaders at all levels, parents, teachers, preachers, rabbis, priests and those in any position of influence and authority talked about this and accelerated the improvement of our social standards. And if so, young boys and girls start believing this, too. And maybe that will begin the denormalization of emotional, physical and sexual assault that has for too long been brushed off with excuses in our culture and society. And then saying ‘we don’t do that here’ will be the truth.

#wedontdothathere #abetterwaytobe

Love,

Your mom