Finding a new vision for our personal destiny.

Granted, the world has been a challenging place this past year, full of turmoil, dread diseases, human unrest, political conflicts, financial ruin for many, and great uncertainties that can negatively affect our minds impacting our sense of well-being. 2020, we all agree, has been a year that turned the world upside-down.

Add this state of affairs to personal challenges in your life — such as loss of loved ones, health issues, and the usual ‘daily menu’ of things that can happen. It’s a wonder we make it through the day or sometimes months-on- end of difficulties.

Overcoming the ‘Daily Menu’- misfortune, discouragement, defeat, betrayal, rejection, injustice, failure, and sorrow.

Yet, here we are still alive, but many feeling as though life has been greatly diminished. We question if anything has meaning in life. Where do we go from here? What can we do to help ourselves?

My favorite college professor, Dr. Franklin S. Williams, taught us ways to craft a life of survival and overcome what he termed the ‘daily menu.’ We begin by writing down our issues and then seek and find answers to make positive changes.

Become an Imperial Walker

This is simple. If you are a regular exerciser, you know the benefits of deep breathing and moving your body. If you can walk, start walking. If you feel too overwhelmed by things occurring in your life, do a simple walk. Even if your first attempt is only one block, you will begin to find your strength with daily repetition and take back control of your life.

Bump it up 45 minutes or more increasing your oxygen intake. My best ideas often appear when walking. It is a time for me to talk to myself, work out problems, and use it for positive affirmations or listening to helpful podcasts.

My husband and I are urban walkers, and we have found the most amazing picturesque new trails. It has become something we look forward to doing, and when we return home, we breathe well and feel fantastic.

One of my friends lives at the base of a mountain, and she invites her friends to join her on walks on trails to nearby waterfalls. She loves standing in the waterfalls too, and it’s one of her new things that makes her feel good.

Forgive Everyone You Know for Anything They Have Ever Done to You

Forgiving others of their trespasses against you is actually liberating yourself. Really do it. Write down their names, and truly forgive them. When you are done, burn the paper and let it all go. Send them love, light, and happiness, no matter how heinous the deed. I am not saying you have to become friends or re-friend someone because trust and respect once lost is truly hard to regain, but forgive and move on. Some relationships can be restored, but many cannot. And then, at the same time, forgive yourself for anything you may have done to someone else.

I have heard it said that hurting the feelings of others is one of our greatest sins. And those of us with a conscience know how these things can eat us up on the inside. Once we acknowledge it, please write down the issue, and we burn that piece of paper too. Believe me, in the matrix of it all, the other people feel the forgiveness somewhere, somehow, and you set yourself free in the process.

Catherine Ponder, one of the great prosperity teachers, shared this method as a way of forgiveness with her ministry. She ran into a lady from her congregation after sharing her discourse and asked the lady how she was doing. The lady said was still working on it, admitting that she did not realize how many people she hated. Funny, but true, we must all get through our list.

Make sure to go all the way back to your childhood, anything that pops up, write it down, and then forgive. Many of the worst traumas often come from childhood. Anytime something appears that we have forgotten, keep writing and forgiving. Soon you will clear it all out; you will be smiling and happier for it. It is a tremendous freeing feeling.

Kick Up Your Positive Affirmations

Affirmations can be shared. However, make it something just for you. Write them down, and say them out loud. State affirmations for at least 15 minutes per day, and even better, say them at night before sleeping and first thing again in the morning.

Affirmations may include statements such as:

I am healthy, wealthy, and happy, and I get better and better every day in every way.
I do good things for myself and others.
I exercise, eat healthily, and feel good now.
I am grateful for all things.
I am loved by a perfect partner now.
I own and live in a beautiful home.
I am prosperous and charitable to others.

And the list goes on. Get very specific in your affirmations. Make your affirmations immediate. Create your list, write them down, speak them out loud. These are essential steps to manifesting your life. Please keep them private, as some people are naysayers and will automatically say things that disagree with your goals. Not all people, of course. Pay attention to those that are good for you and those who are not. It is easy to see who someone is and how they think by hearing what they say.

Focus on eliminating your own idle chatter. Learn to say only positive comments. Speak only when you have something to offer. You will soon align with people that are heading in the same direction.

Are you a person who lifts others? Or someone always criticizing and putting others down or their choices? Think of it as a tremendous opportunity to change yourself and improve your game for a happier, more positive, and abundant life.

Picture Your Dreams and Create a Vision Board and Travel Map

Create a vision board for yourself with your positive affirmations and activities you want to happen in your life. I particularly love this one for world travel. Be as specific as possible, and find pictures that match your dreams. If you want to go to Edinburgh, Scotland, print out pictures of the location, places you want to stay, and where you want to visit and put them on an organized poster board. Make sure the images are colorful and positive, as opposed to black and white photos. If you want a home, print an image of a home you love, a picture of the garden, a hilltop, or on a lake. This is an enjoyable activity, and you will be amazed at how things begin to manifest.

(You may create a vision board for someone who is ill or cannot help themselves. I created one for my nephew, who is struggling to move his body again. You can hold the light for someone who cannot.)

Clear Out Clutter

Most of us are familiar with Feng Shui. Clearing clutter out of homes, offices, and our cars makes room for better living on many levels. Think of it as a divine organization. When you clear out your space, you can move along things you no longer need but pass them to others who may have use of them. Some things have run their course, worn out things, and even worn-out relationships. Clearing space creates a vacuum allowing new things, better friendships, and new ideas to come your way.

Express Gratitude

Be grateful for your life and everything you have. Express gratitude to others and give thanks to those who have been generous and supportive to you. When we have gratitude, it keeps us humble and allows for goodness in our lives. Even the negatives have silver linings. Look for the good in the difficulties of life and come out shining on the other side.

There are many more things you can do, but these should get you started.

Here are some of the positive people that I love and follow in life to share with you. Many of their books are on Amazon, and recordings on YouTube:

Catherine Ponder, The Dynamics of Prosperity
Dr. Joe Despenza, Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Florence Scovell Shinn, The Game of Life and How to Play It
Ken Honda, Happy Money
Wim Hof, Breathing Exercises

All the best for a great new life!

I had experienced quite a bit of stress. While visiting my doctor, he suggested a Reiki treatment to help me relax more and to assist me with balancing emotions. Reiki is a gentle alternative hands-on medicine and focuses on energy healing. It encourages emotional well-being, and I am more than ready for some extra help.

Entering the Reiki therapist’s office, I meet Asal, a lovely person with a pleasant, calm demeanor. She gives me a cup of purified water to drink and helps me lean back in a comfortable recliner chair where you can stretch out, breathe easy and relax. The room has chakra charts, salt lamps, peaceful music, essential oil fragrance, and is conducive to relaxation. Beautiful selenite tower lamps illuminate the room.

Asal gently begins the treatment, placing hands on my head. She explains she is going to check and clear my chakras. She starts to work through my body and goes slowly through the chakra centers while applying essential oils to my forehead, neck, and wrists.

After about 10 minutes, she goes back to my throat area. She had been talking to me here and there, and then she says it feels like I have been suppressing my emotions because my throat chakra is not flowing well. I can barely talk because I started to cry, and then I half-said in choked up words, “My…my, mother died.” Tears started rolling down my face in this dimly lit, gentle environment.

Asal was good with me. I told her I thought I had been doing pretty well dealing with the emotional pain of my mother’s passing. She asked if I was close to my mother. I crossed my two fingers together, “We were so very close.” Mom and I always had a fantastic connection, even though I lived far away from home. We also talked once a week, sometimes more, for almost 30 years since I had left home to go traveling and to pursue college and a career. “She is that one person who never criticized me ever, who always encouraged me, who was always there,” I explained. “She was the best person I’ve ever known.”

My grief was starting to come out; I was so busy dealing with family and estate matters, trying to organize a very upside-down environment. My natural way is to stay centered and hold it together. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just, it was her, my exceptional and beautiful mother. She had passed on through this world; she had left her body behind. Tears again roll down my face. The reality of this is hard to grasp.

When it’s happening, you are in it, and it’s not something you can change or control.

I am not ashamed to cry, but it wasn’t easy for me, and the therapist was helping me to let out my loss. She commented on what a calm person I was and deeply spiritual. I found that surprising because inside my energy runs at a fast beat, but externally I tend to exude calmness. And yes, I have strong spiritual beliefs. Maybe all these years of meditation were starting to show on me, I mean, somewhere we are supposed to evolve. And now I’m dealing with the loss of my great and precious love, my mother. Her passing is something I honestly dreaded for many years, I could never make my peace with that, and now I’m forced to do so whether I want to or not. When it’s happening, you are in it, and it’s not something you can change or control.

Asal continues to discuss it. I could tell she really wanted me to let more out, and so I did. I had to stop talking, it was hard to speak again, so I listened. She slowly expressed about how the soul transforms back to spirit. That’s exactly how I feel about it as well. I spoke again, explaining to her since my mother’s passing that I could feel her energy around me. I was reluctant at first to share that with others because people have a way of rolling their eyes at things sometimes, but it was like a gift of energy around me, I felt lifted and stable. It was extraordinary, and it helped me get through the long list of things essential for her funeral. My brain was dealing with family needs. Many critical items just had to happen.

Asal gently added lavender and a mix of aura-clearing essential oils to my neck. I could feel her moving and freeing up the energy of my body, releasing the stress, releasing the grief. I was starting to feel better.

I explained to Asal that I kept waking up in the middle of the night at the time of my mother’s passing, and I was not getting to sleep through the night. At this point, she explained I was experiencing a form of post-traumatic stress. She asked if I was able to go right back to sleep. I told her that I might be up for the next 2 to 3 hours. She said she wanted me to start journaling when I wake up. I said yes, I would do that. She encouraged me to write to help me release my feelings. In the long run, she explained it would help process things and give my mind some relief so I could begin to sleep better.

Asal commented, “You know, others could benefit from your experience, it might help them too. Especially the part about feeling her presence around you.” So that is when I sat down to write. And no, it wasn’t this article, but another article came to me, Standing Up Straight — Lessons From My Mother, here on medium. If my mother were here, she would read my piece and might be a little surprised to hear about herself, but she would smile at me and say, “Good job.” She might also gently say to me, “ I’m here in light and love, and I’m always with you.” Then she would tell me about how I would put my little arm around her shoulder when I was a baby, something like that.

When I was at her home, I found this oddly shaped cigarette tray I had made by hand in a ceramics class in 11th grade. She didn’t smoke, but ashtrays were standard in houses back in the 1970s. I couldn’t believe she kept that old thing. I remember giving it to her, and she was quite happy about the gift. She never said about how bad it was or that I had absolutely no talent in ceramics. She loved it like a treasure because I had made it especially for her, and I had put her name Joy in the middle.

The Reiki treatment provided relief, and I felt balanced with wise words from Asal. She told me her own story of living in fear as a child during the 1980s in the Iran-Iraq war. She said her grandmother was everything to her and helped her get through those trying times when she often thought a bomb would drop on her house. She learned calming techniques and eventually became a Reiki therapist to help others with trauma.

I didn’t think I could write about this personal issue, but now that I have taken some steps, it has helped me express some of my feelings and grief. Reiki and someone to talk to that is a bit removed from you, helps in many ways. I highly recommend a treatment to clear your emotional energies. I smile more when I talk about my mother now, and I appreciate the healing from the Reiki treatments. It has been a good thing. And so, that is how I picked up my pen and started writing again.

When we were kids, my mother would have us stand with our backs up to the wall and help us align our bodies. Pull up, shoulders back, chins in, no buns sticking out. She wanted us to have good posture and carry ourselves well, no slouching.

At my mother’s services a few months back, I gave a talk about who she was, her goodness, amazing survivor skills, always encouraging her children to do the right thing, to do well. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to do it, get through the Eulogy that is, speak in front of everyone while my heart was breaking. But somehow, during that challenging time, while waiting two weeks for the service, I continued to feel that I needed to speak, to tell her story. I could easily have let my brother do all the heavy lifting, he is a gifted speaker, but the message came loud and clear that she wanted me to tell the things in my heart that I loved about her and that no one else might say.

The first thought that came to mind was this story of standing up straight. I look back in fondness when my mother had us line up in the dining room, but in retrospect of life, I realize she was telling us something even more important, to stand up straight in life. It was as though she was saying stand square and face your challenges. She certainly did, and I watched her do it over and over again. The mother of four children, one of whom was mentally disabled and required 24/7 care; she was always there. I ask, “How in the heck do you deal with something like that? You find out something is wrong with your baby, that your child will not live an expected good life. And now your family and everyone’s lives will be different, not the normal, let’s go to Disneyland experience.

My mother didn’t complain either; she faced her difficulties with the bright expectation that everything would work out. She never wore it on her sleeve. We were all learning by her example, what it truly means to stand up straight in this world. She ran our family businesses, two laundromats, and a car wash. My father was a space aeronautics engineer and also fixed everything at the locations. They were volunteers and did all kinds of great things at the American Legion Post 193 in Denver, Co. They were a fantastic team.

During the last three years, caring for my mother, one day, we were talking. She knew I’d had a tough go of it with the economy and my business. I told her I was fine and would work it through. She looked over at me and said, ”Yeah, we’ve had some rough times over the years, but you know what? she smiled a happy smile, “We always come out alright.” She’s 93, in the wheelchair, had numerous strokes, is partially paralyzed on one side, can no longer feed herself, and she says this to me.

That stand up straight attitude keeps on shining. My mother makes me remember who I am, what she has taught me, and to give life my very best shot. I hope you will too. Yes, I was still learning from my mother until the very end. One more vital thing — her name was Joy.

The new owners of Salerman’s El Tapatio, Angel and David Oreas, father and son, walked into the restaurant to buy and expand their already successful Mexican food business. The owner of the well-known Dos Mexicanos taco trucks, David Oreas, had been serving up delicious, traditional foods of Mexico for nine years at events in Orange County as well as the trendy Downtown Santa Ana Artists’ Village.

As the Oreas entered the backroom dining hall, they were pleased to see a spacious banquet room area. To their surprise and amazement, there was an expansive 9’ by 60’ mural extending the entire length of the west wall. The painting was a three-dimensional view of a Mexican village depicting daily life with a colorful marketplace and mountain terrain in the far distance. They had discovered, “Recuerdos de mi Pueblo,” translated as “Memories of my Village,” created by Emigdio Vasquez in 1990. It was the 24th of 32 murals painted by Emigdio Vasquez during his prolific years from 1975 to 2005.

Higgy Vasquez worked with his father since he was a young boy painting murals in Orange County. Emigdio Sr., frequently referred to as the ‘Godfather of Chicano Art,’ was a muralist and painter, much loved and appreciated in the local neighborhoods of Orange County, California. Since 2008, Higgy began the quest to restore his father’s mural works, many in different stages of decline. To date, Higgy has restored seven large murals in Orange, Irvine, Anaheim, Santa Ana, and Fullerton. And he created an additional new one of his own in the city of Orange, chosen as a project by the prestigious Getty Museum’s Pacific Standard Time LA/LA in 2017–2018 and featured in the Orange County Film Fiesta 2019.

“The mural had some chunks missing and peeling here and there,” Oreas stated, “but when my father and I found the name of the artist, Emigdio Vasquez in the corner of the mural, we were excited, because just maybe the artist could come and repair the mural.” What he found was the artist had passed away in 2014. However, he discovered the son, Higgy Vasquez, on Instagram. Low and behold, he was an artist who had been restoring his father’s murals. “We were so happy to find the son of the muralist, who was also very pleased to revisit this mural. When Higgy came to see it, he stood there and just took it in; I’m sure he remembered way back when.”

Receiving the call about the piece, Vasquez was surprised, “My father painted so many murals in Orange County. Honestly, I had forgotten about this one.” It had been twenty-eight years since Vasquez helped his father at this particular mural, but he recalled working only a few days to help out as he was a student at Fullerton College at the time.

Reference materials from his father have made all the difference in restoring his works, notably where pieces are missing or destroyed. “Layers have to be re-built and colors recreated,” Vasquez clarified. “Knowing what color comes first is important; otherwise, it won’t look right. I must match and detail everything. You shouldn’t be able to tell repairs so that it is all one.”

“I hope people will come and visit the mural and enjoy a delicious meal,” says Vasquez. “The Oreas were so very generous and served me full-on meals while repairing the mural. The enchiladas, guacamole, and tacos were awesome. I wish all my restorations had amenities like El Tapatio!”

David Oreas commented that as he learned more about the father, Emigdio, and working now with Higgy Vasquez, it made the restaurant even more special to him. “We knew we had a jewel in the mural, and we were so happy to see it restored. We knew it was something good.”

Sitting next to the mural, his dad says, “It feels like Oaxaca.” David’s face breaks into a smile. Happy to have the wall restored, it is now part of the Oreas story as well, and perhaps a tribute to fathers and their sons.

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“We knew we had a jewel in the mural and were so happy to see it restored. We knew it was something good.” David Oreas