So one day, Q stopped by and said she was homesick. She said “Mom, I have not had a home cooked meal since coming to college and I miss my family.” Later, she (along with another student) were walking past my apartment (because of course there is no privacy when you are a live-in professional) and saw me cooking. Being the person that I am, I invited them in for dinner. It was then I realized these students needed more than a Hall Director throughout the year.

Have you ever noticed how every student is different, but yet they all look to us for help in being successful?

There are students that set up meetings and want 30 minutes every week in our offices, there are students that literally never show up and we have to search campus to find out where they have been, there are students that would rather catch us at the gym during our “self-care” time to talk about important matters that really should be discussed behind closed doors, there are students that are walkers and talkers meaning they stop us in the cafeteria or on our quick jolt to our next meeting that we are already late too, and there are those students that want to talk about everything BUT school (meaning we learn a whole lot about their personal life.) All of our students are different and need different things. Right? And every Student Affairs professional knows we are the ones to provide those needs!

For some of us it is easy and others it may be harder (I mean I understand! You worked hard for your degrees… can’t students realize that you earned your title?) to strip our titles away and meet students where they best thrive. In some cases, it is as simple as meeting them outside rather than inside because it makes them more comfortable and they feel more free to be expressive. While in other cases it may be taking students to the bus station because they do not have a ride to get home and they know they can count on you to help them in their tight situations. Of course there are the cases when we close our office doors and let students sit in there for hours telling us anything and everything, because what they need in that moment is someone they can trust and confide in. While most students see us a professionals, there are so many that see us as friends too. And isn’t that rewarding in it-self? Do we always have to go by Dr. or addressed by our last names or as the Director of X, Y, or Z… or can we just be us- let students see the side of us that is relatable to them.

Let’s go back to my student Q. She once told me that she wished she had someone like me in high school; someone to motivate her academically, professionally, and personally. She said I helped her freshman year because I was “there” for here in anyway she needed. It was flattering to know a student could value our relationship so much they go as far as to call me “mom.” And while I am 25 years old, (young enough to be some of these students sister, classmate, friend, etc.) to this student I was more. I shared my personal experience, my encouragement, and my care for her and in that she found someone that resembled a mother, not just a professional that oversees the residence halls.

She isn’t the only one!

Despite your title (President, VP, Director, Coordinator, etc.) sometimes we have to strip them away and become “mom, friend, homie, etc.” and that’s okay- Let it happen.

Originally published at blog.involvio.com.

Let’s face it- Student Affairs professionals work hard! And how often are we thanked for what we do? Now don’t get me wrong, if you are in this field for the same reasons I am, then you do this work because you love it and because it fulfills you. You find your purpose in this work.

But isn’t it nice to hear those encouraging words every now and then? I get it though. There are some professionals in my life that guided me and believed in me time and time again… and I don’t think I went back and thanked them until I had that “found myself moment” and realized how their help really impacted me. That happens, ya know?! We realize later that these important people in our lives deserve a huge “Thank You.”

So why not start thanking those that make an impact in our lives? Today. Right now.

In mid-April 17, some students that I work with organized a week of events. The theme for the week was #InspiredByWomen. Monday through Wednesday they hosted passive events, which consisted of them going department-to-department and interacting with the faculty/staff/students around campus. They left little notes along the lines of being appreciative and inspired by people. On one of the days (my favorite), students could pick up a shirt and an invitation to a reception that they could give to a woman on campus that has inspired them. At the end of the week, these students organized a beautiful reception for faculty and staff to attend. This small reception was designed to show and express thanks and appreciation to those that work hard day in and day out at Western New Mexico University.

Little did we know that this week of events would have chain reaction. I noticed that people around campus began to be more expressive. They began taking those few extra seconds to tell each other “thank you.” And just like that, professionals were rejuvenated.

It doesn’t take a lot to let people know they are important. So I encourage you to take the time to say those kind words to those that mean a lot to you. One person at a time let them know their value to you, your campus, and to the students. A few words can make all the difference.

Remember, your *“thank you” *may be all someone needs today and may be the first one they have heard in a while.

Dedicated to the amazing people that inspire me and deserve so much more than a “Thank You”- Dr. Mary Howard-Hamilton, Dr. Kandace Hinton, Dr. Amy French, Heather Campbell, Dr. Katrina D’Aquin, Mickey Ulrich, Dr. Patrick Sutherland, and Dr. Richard Walker.

Originally published at blog.involvio.com.

I had the summer of 2016 to devise a plan- a plan that would allow me to share my leadership with the students that were about to move on campus for a year. It needed to be strong. It needed to be memorable. It needed to be my trademark.

Leadership is effective. Period! Especially when we are shaping our college students to become committed and functioning citizens of society. It did not take me very long to establish my plan.

One year into the job and I have students in my office at all hours of the day, students mimicking things I have shared with them, and students that aspire to go out into the world and be leaders.

In March of 2017, I spent a week with five students from Western New Mexico University in Panama where we were participating in our first ever Alterative Spring Break (#ASB2k17). The group spent a week doing community service and had many opportunities for cultural emersion. They did everything from playing with children to painting buildings to building a house. They operated as a team of six, and if one team member was down, all were down. Clearly that count of six included the chaperone- ME! I rolled up my sleeves and did the work alongside of the five students. I began the week demonstrating what I expected from them (in a subtle way, of course!) Much to my surprise, midway through the week, I no longer had to be the “leader” of the group. The students took charge, stepped up, and took it upon themselves to be the leaders.

Each night we had reflection. I tasked each participant to pick a night and lead the discussion. Once again, I was left in awe by the depth of conversation and meaning this group reached. What I thought would be a brief evening conversation turned into a two hour “heart to heart” about their lived experiences, their ambitions, and their wittiness of this trip. On the last night, I led reflection. I gave them an exercise- We went around the room and shared with each person what this trip made us feel about them. (What we learned from each person, what they added to the group, what they appreciate about each other, etc. — needless to say, it took about three hours).

The group wanted to save me for last. To be honest, I did not even expect them to include me. I had every intention of them doing this on their own. When they got to me, I heard on multiple occasions a few reoccurring themes-

1. “Your leadership taught us so much about how to be a leader.”
2. “It was inspiring to see you dive in and work with us all week showing us that the leader of the group was here for the same purpose we were.”
3. “The example you set has inspired me to do work similar to yours.”

Please do not get me wrong. I do not share this to boast. I am genuinely humbled by their remarks. The whole week I considered myself the wheels- the person that just handled the logistics and made things run smoothly. I never would have guessed that I could have shown the students that much of myself that they could come to the conclusion that I am a servant leader.

This opened my eyes to how being a servant leader makes more servant leaders.

Yes, there are many types of leaders out there and we may in fact reflect more than one. Be all that you can be as long as you have the student’s growth in mind.

So here are some tips (from me, in my opinion):

1. Set common goals with your students and figure out a plan for how they and you can accomplish something together.
2. Read between the lines- listen to what your students need in order to thrive and succeed and find a hands on way to provide that to them.
3. Lead by example! Show your students what you expect and be a role model.
4. Aspire to inspire.
5. Help your students find their leadership style and encourage them to always utilize it. They need validation to know and believe they are doing things right.

With the close of this academic school year right around the corner, let’s encourage our students to do something this summer. Let’s encourage them to share their servant leadership in one way or another so they in return can inspire others to go out and be servant leaders too.

And let’s make next year another one to lead by example.

Originally published at blog.involvio.com on April 1, 2017.