And I will show my teeth

Edged sword and dagger

And I will show my teeth

If you weren’t scared it wouldn’t matter

And I will show my teeth

And expose all the lies

And I will show my teeth

The darkness can’t make me hide

And I will show my teeth

Your inversion, or should I say perversion, doesn’t scare me

I thought ya’ll had the most of these things we call teeth

I’m sorry if no one showed you what they really can do

Let me demonstrate just come a bit closer

Truth rings the alarm THIS PARTY IS OVER

Party’s over pack it up

I’ve seen enough, no Dianne sober up

One by one two by two

The rain headed this way will show you who’s who

Hop in the van, Bobby is not driving

Take a seat in the back, your eyes are intertwining

Off you go, send them home

Send them far away if you must

Just make them go

My teeth are sharp

I said what I said

Leave little Mary and Sue out of your head

You come close and I’ll knock you right out

I’ll bite you where it hurts and make your insides bleed out

Deep in Germany, I’ll watch you sleep

Deep in Germany, you’re dancing with me

Deep in Germany, you walk me down the aisle

Deep in Germany, you watch me wed with a smile

Deep in Germany, you and mom are making pies

Deep in Germany, Papa says hi

Deep in Germany, that’s where I’ll keep you, Dad

Deep in Germany, you drive that sports car you wish you always had

Deep in Germany, our dark Lord awaits

Deep in Germany, the Gothard’s stay safe

This is where we’re at

This is where we land

This is where we dig our feet deep into the sand

This is what it is

Not what it will be

This is where I cry one more time

Just so I can breathe

This love overwhelms me

Consumes me every day

I can’t keep the river of love inside my body to stay

It seeps out my eyes, my heart is magnetized

Drawing in the love that knows it’s a kin

Drawing in the love that paid for my sins

To love is to live

To live is to die

To die with my heart alive from the inside

Wakey wakey eggs and bakey

Have a point from my view

Do you finally see you?

Do you finally believe it’s true?

Don’t be scared it’s okay I digested it all

It came back a masterpiece

Don’t you dare touch your skin will crawl

Yes I smile when I remember the good

Yes there were things that I misunderstood

Yes I’m glad you pushed me to succeed

Even if I was crying from trauma and ready to bleed

Yes I respect the work and dedication

To a craft that God gave you multitasker 007

One hell of a speaker one hell of a writer

One hell of a medium straight from the fire

I see it, respect, look up to it even

I know the risks made even with the fall that took place

I remember seeing you slip, slip from the pulpit

I can see you right now, nudging it straight to get it perfect

Slight OCD adds to the recipe

A twinkle in your eye when you looked down at me

This sucks you hear! This sucks you fell down

But here I am despite, holding the crown

I didn’t know that was you I was feeling

Until it dawned on me one day

That every thought you had found it’s way back to my place

I want to say thank you

Because even if you didn’t know it

I studied everything about you even when you tried not to show it

Yes you were ill, moody with a hint of spite

But underneath the trauma, I saw the little boy inside

The little boy who was confused with a gift big enough for two

Dreams too big for this one horse town

Gifts with corrupt guidance, of course they took you down

A mother who used you, abused and molested

A mother who took advantage from the very first second

My heart it grieves and grieves and grieves some more

I’ve never felt this much agony from knowing all your lore

I wish I could’ve saved you as an infant of course

Helped raise you up with a lighted torch

It’s what you deserved, but not what you were dealt

I saw right through you but nothing would help

Who was I, a kid at the time

Lost in the sauce of the All Knowing’s divine

Who am I now to be writing this poem

God’s little warrior daddy’s princess do- over

Think not of me, think of other things

This web that’s entangled has no more place

The venom has ran out, a bite with no ouch

The lore remains safe with me

The lore I will use for all to see

I’ll fight them off for you, go be free

Watch from above, watch me be me

Empathy for an abuser is a wild place to be

Empathy for an abuser who helped grow my teeth

Empathy for an abuser that’s not black and white

Empathy for an abuser who’s vanished out of sight

All of this anger used to be love

Grief hits my side and I see from above

This anger I use to hide my grief

When I think of you, I can hardly breathe

This anger used to be love, I say

The trauma it ate you and that makes my heart break

Leave me here silent, too frazzled to speak

Leave me here to haunt your ghost while you count all the sheep

Leave me, just leave, it’s what you do best

Leave me here with a hole in my chest

Leave me here with the ghost of you

Leave me here with so much to do

Clean up your mess, it’s what I do best

Clean up your afters, put an S on my chest

This is so unfair, such is life such is mine

Just please call to say goodbye one last time

A memoir of recollected memories and thoughts with different versions of myself whilst experiencing SA from my father. From unconscious to conscious and finding God in the midst of tragedy

Don’t be scared, this will only hurt a little

I start on your right side and meet in the middle

Don’t be scared, you’ve done this before

Remember when you used to tuck me in and shut the door?

Don’t be scared, you think I’m asleep

You think I’m unconscious and caught in my dreams

The pressure it hurts, I’m raw from the inside

I tell my mommy but she just runs and hides

Cream will do it, Neosporin I think

On raw insides that made me earthquake

Oh brother, what have you done

What have you done you turned me numb

Eeeyuck, you perverted naked mole

Naked mole with no place to go

I’m not broken, just a baby

And what’d Gaga say,

But her boyfriends like a dad, just like a dad

The flames that burned before me cleared my way

I see beyond you, beyond your scrunched face

Thank you Lord, O’Lord my freedom rings

It rings so high pitch you’d think it’s my scream

Oh but it is, sweet girl lying there

Afraid, taunted and tormented

But with faith in the air

I heard you from the beginning, it was my locked and loaded gun

I saved it for this time, this time he can not run

I saved it for your love, the love you held at night

The one that saw you through

Through flames of perverted minds

Recop you say

Poker in, I’m sorry, who’s face?

Oh no not mine

You must’ve forgotten I’m made protected and Divine

As if I didn’t know

The signs were all there

The signs of pigs ravishing witchcraft

In their dirty underwear

Poker face you brought home to play

I’ll take the one with the house in the woods

Mercedes and log cabin fever for good

Attorney or thief

Maybe the doctor, Dr. King, I believe

Oh let me stop, I’m ahead of myself

Pieces of my story I do plan to tell

Hell can wait for story time, you’ll burn just fine in the meantime

I see the pearly gates

I see my white horse and estate

Elder, pastor, dean you say?

More like a demon who’s long gone in foul play

Off with their heads, loud and inspired

I’ll spare them today, I’m awfully tired

Leave it to the people, the Gods of it all

I do love to see pigs squirm in their stall

It’s like I’m limited to speak

Limited to do

Limited to express what I know to be true

Limited to move

Limited to thrive

Limited just so they keep me in line

Ah ah ah, no more no more

Bet you didn’t know I could see

That hidden back door

Lock and key but no worry to me

Key holder’s dream, I unlock it with ease

I unlock it with glee

It’s been mine for keeps

It was promised to me

In one million dreams

One hundred degrees

One thousand on sight

Zero’s between my eyes

I unlock the inside

A short memoir of recollected memories and feelings from my younger self regarding my father

You’re not supposed to be there

You’re somewhere you don’t belong

I’d play it smart if I were you

One thing you never do

You’re not supposed to be here

See your way out

You’re not supposed to be here

I’ll scream and draw a crowd

I’ll wave the flag that sees you out

You’re uninvited coward thief

You’re uninvited this is not your feast

You parasite with filth disease

I’ll squish your head until it pops

I’ll watch you bleed and won’t say stop

Leave my house, leave my sight

Leave my hearing, die tonight

Tonight I said, tonight I scream

I’ll watch your head roll down the street

Murder scene