According to the most upvoted Urban Dictionary definition, friends with benefits are:

“Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment.”

(Not that it matters, but my ego won’t allow me to move forward without pointing out that the spelling and grammar mistakes are in the original quote, not mine.)

According to a less popular definition, friends with benefits are:

“The best kind of friendship out there.”

In my younger days, I was firmly in the first definition camp. Now that I’ve matured — aka I’m married 😳 — I’ve realized just how important the right friends can be.

Over the weekend, Sahil Bloom, a Twitter-famous entrepreneur, angel investor, and thought leader that I (and 448K+ others) follow, posted an epic thread, “The most powerful ideas in life.” One of those “ideas” was Decentralized Friend Groups:

Decentralized Friend Groups

Centralized Friend Group: one cluster of friends with shared backgrounds & beliefs.

Decentralized Friend Groups: small, varied, unconnected clusters of friends.

Having decentralized friend groups is the key to independent thought.

h/t @george__mack

When it comes to friends, I’m quite literally the luckiest man alive. I have the equivalent value in friendships that Elon Musk has in USD. (By the way, @elonmusk, if you’re looking for a new, genuine, intelligent, and witty friend, slide into my DMs.) Whether that’s actually true or not, that’s how I feel.

My main group of friends, I’ve had since high school. We have a text thread that makes me smile on the daily, if not the hourly. But, if those were my only friends, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I also have countless great friends that I’ve made along the way… friends from my UCLA philosophy days, friends from my Loyola Law School days, friends from the places that I’ve lived and offices that I’ve worked, friends from the domain industry, friends from angel investing, friends from crypto, friends from other friends… basically, I have an abundance of friends because I’m always open to meeting new friends.

My friends have been instrumental to my success, at all stages, and I’m eternally grateful to each and every one of you.

So what’s the take away here? Be a good friend, be open to meeting new people, and be somebody those people would want to be friends with. Don’t limit yourself to one group or category of friends, and don’t limit your thoughts or your world view.

According to Naval Ravikant’s Five Chimps Theory:

“In Zoology, you can predict the mood and behaviour patterns of any chimp by which five chimps they hang out with the most. Choose your five chimps carefully.”

Be a good chimp, and be a good friend.

If you’re a good friend looking for a good friend, you know where to find me.

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No matter the subject, chances are I can go down the rabbit hole of how it works, why it works that way, how to do it, or how to do it better. I love to learn.

What’s the best way to learn? By teaching.

One of my favorite Stoic philosophers, Seneca the Younger, recognized long ago that, “While we teach, we learn.” This idea has since been dubbed by scientists and psychologists as “the protégé effect,” the notion that we learn through the process of teaching others.

If you’re a lifelong learner like me, or just want to learn to learn better, you’ll want to understand and embrace this concept.

How and why the protégé effect works.

The protégé effect can be explained in four distinct but symbiotic steps, each of which contributes to the learning process:

1. Preparation — When we know we’ll be teaching someone something, our natural inclination is (or should be) to prepare, and we prepare by studying the material we’ll be teaching. This is similar to the process we go through when we study for an exam or a presentation, except that we’ll work harder to understand and organize it because of the added motivation (and pressure) of needing to explain it to someone else.
2. Retrieval — While teaching, we’re forced to retrieve the knowledge ourselves, in real time, from our own minds. Studies have shown that this process of actively retrieving information from memory, as opposed to passively studying it, is measurably more effective for learning.
3. Feedback — As we teach, our students will ask questions — they’ll seek clarification or deeper analysis of certain aspects of the material. This dialogue and interaction will force us to rethink and explain the material in different ways and from alternate perspectives, based on the particular student or audience. The questions might further expose gaps in our own understanding or cause us to reconsider certain positions, which is a form of learning in and of itself.
4. Application — As we gather feedback from our students, we discover new insights about the material and our understanding, or lack thereof. These new insights will compel us to revisit the subject matter and fill in the gaps in our own knowledge and understanding. And the next time we prepare to teach, we’ll be that much more learned, and a virtuous cycle is born.

Go teach someone something you know, or think you know.

Talk to someone you know — your romantic partner, a friend, a colleague, or a family member — about something you’ve recently learned or would like to understand better. Try teaching them. Listen for their feedback and questions, and use those to fill in the gaps in your own knowledge.

Learn. Teach. Learn. Repeat.

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Today is my wife’s birthday. It only comes once a year, so I’m gonna focus my attention on her today. I’m gonna take a break from whatever it is I normally do to enjoy her.

“Stop and smell the roses” may be cliché advice, but on the rare occasion that I allow myself that indulgence, I emerge happier, at peace, and ready for the next.

“In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.” ~Marcus Aurelius

On an average day, I’m guilty of at least three of these five infractions, probably more. Taking this break (and writing this post) is a great reminder of what matters — and what matters less — to me. What matters to you may be entirely different than what matters to me, and yet the process by which each of us figures that out is likely similar.

I know none of this is earth shattering or revelatory, and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be. At least I’ve kept my writing streak — and commitment to myself — alive, while spending quality time with — and giving my (mostly) undivided attention to — the love of my life. So I’ve balanced at least two things today.

Also, while at brunch this morning, I discovered my fascination with the word “bruh.” Where did “bruh” come from, and how is it different than “bro?” So you can expect an essay on that intriguing subject soon.

Do you even brunch, bruh?

Bruhs don’t cry.

Bruhs before gruhs?

My milkshake brings all the bruhs to the yard?

I could go on, but this bruh’s gotta go get ready for an epic dinner with his beautiful bride. And we may stop and smell the rosé.

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A couple of days ago, I wrote about the first-of-its-kind Directions.com fractional domain name offering on Rally. Well, that offering went live to the general public earlier today, and it sold out in 14 minutes. Yes, 14 minutes. If you weren’t paying attention, FOMO quickly turned into ROMO.

FOMO, as most of us know, is the Fear Of Missing Out.

ROMO, as most of us don’t know, is the Reality Of Missing Out.

First of all, a huge shoutout to my very good friends, Andrew Rosener and Jonathan Tenenbaum. Drew and JT really knocked it out of the park with this one. Rally is lucky to partner with them, and they’re wise to partner with Rally.

597 individual investors purchased 14,000 total available shares, for an aggregate offering of $140,000. I was lucky enough to grab 140 shares, 1% of the total offering. I could’ve locked in the maximum 500 shares, but I wanted to leave more shares for more investors. I’m in the “a rising tide lifts all boats” camp, and I’m just one boat in an armada of potential domain investors.

I hope you got yours, but chances are you didn’t.

The reality of FOMO is that it’s most often manufactured and illusory. But sometimes it isn’t, and when it’s not — when it’s real — you get ROMO.

Here’s the thing, though: in almost every instance, despite what they tell you, there’ll be other opportunities, new chances for you to get yours. In this case, domain names are here to stay. Fractionalization is the future. The two will meet again, possibly on fractional.com.

Regardless, you’ll have your moment — if you’re open to it and if you’ve learned from your past experiences. Keep your eyes peeled and your mind open. Optimists win. Pessimists lose. Period, end of story.

Not all opportunities are created equal, and not all FOMO turns into ROMO. But, sometimes it does. Practice spotting those opportunities, and don’t hesitate to go for it when it feels right.

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If you want to grow, if you want to succeed, if you want to win, you’re gonna have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. There’s just no way around it.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “No pain, no gain.” Well, in my view, that’s a universal truth. The problem: most of us are deathly afraid of pain, especially in the social and societal context, and we avoid it like the plague. We want to fit in. We want everyone to like us, to agree with us. So we craft our identity — our beliefs, our thoughts, our words, and our actions — around acceptance.

But what if that’s not in our best interest? What if always trying to fit in is hurting us? What if the fear of rejection is holding us back?

“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” ~Marcus Aurelius

I didn’t write for 10 years because I was afraid that my imperfect prose might not live up to the unrealistic standards I set for myself, or, heaven forbid, might not live up to your expectations of me. Sounds pretty fuckin’ stupid, right?

What are you not doing, what have you not done, because you’re afraid of what other people might think? Whatever that is, stop not doing it. Now.

Put it out there. Put yourself out there. You might think it’s junk, and it might, in fact, be junk. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s great. Every miner knows that in order to strike gold, you’ll need to sift through a whole lotta junk. Give yourself permission to create that junk. Give yourself permission to strike that gold.

Remember what Dr. Seuss taught us, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

I hope you’re enjoying my junk. Yes, I know…

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I “launched my blog” on January 21 of last year, only 9 years, 7 months, and 24 days after I said I would. In those intervening 3,526 days, I was busy — sometimes perfecting, sometimes procrastinating, sometimes avoiding — but always doing something other than writing.

And then I decided to do something about it. I signed up for David Perell’s Write of Passage, a fantastic online writing course. The promise: “You will learn a step-by-step method for publishing… and distributing your ideas… leading to unexpected opportunities and increased serendipity in your work and life.” Wow, unexpected opportunities and increased serendipity? Yes, please!

It worked. I posted, and then I posted again. I was a writer on a roll. Two posts in two weeks!! And then I missed a post. And then another. I stopped prioritizing my writing — I made excuses and let myself get distracted.

It has now been 305 days since my last post. I’ve failed, miserably. And I’m embarrassed about it.

Fortunately, I’m not so embarrassed that I’m willing to give up. I don’t quit that easy, and I love a good challenge.

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.” ~Seneca

Also, it turns out that the most successful people throughout history have failed. A lot. Repeatedly. Great, so I’m on the right path! Even if I never succeed, at least I’ve failed along with the best of them 😀.

So I decided to sign up for Dickie Bush and Nicolas Cole’s Ship 30 For 30 writing course. The promise this time: “Writing and publishing every day for 30 days will change your life.” Now, don’t get me wrong, my life ain’t bad, but who couldn’t do with some fresh inspo? Sign me up!

And here we are. Over the next 30 days, I will write every day for 60 minutes at 8am while sitting (or standing) at my desk. I will write 250(ish)-word Atomic Essays about self-discovery and the startup of me.

This is how we get back on that horse after we’ve fallen off. We don’t give up. We persist. We succeed.

Remember, We’re All Gonna Make It.

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