Words don’t mean a lot these days. And here I am, committed to weekly sharing words on the open public net.

Through the magic of Life and the wizardry (and something else, I’m guessing) of a friend, I started GTC -Generating Transformative Change- a couple of weeks ago. After the first retreat I was high, connected, tuned to All, like floating and basically in love with life. Went straight back into work and my facilitation that day was so much fun! I could be, sense, respond, and speak words that were not mine. I was in my body, in myself, in the collective, and out of it, all at the same time.

Then things changed.

The last few days have been full of deep conversations. It wasn’t planned, and still it all happened in perfect synchronicity and serendipity. The last few days I have been moving from simply observing myself and what’s going on (and what’s not going on!) to allowing myself to fall into the emotions. And most of the time just swimming in the space in between, like two forces pulling and pushing at the same time. In that space in between I find comfort, ease and trust. In that space in between I encounter a grounded uncertainty. In that space in between there’s nothing and there’s all. In that space in between there’s no room for thinking, just for being. Whole.

In that space in between I’m going to stay a bit longer. Just. Because. Whole.

This week I fell in love with my co-learners, Moses and Jane. Truly.

Giving and receiving help was the topic for the week. Sweet. I knew offering and giving help was easy for me. Asking for and receiving help wasn’t that easy a few years ago, but I learnt that receiving is a gift just as important as giving. Or even more. There’s no giving without receiving anyway and, who am I to stop the cycle of Life?

Going deeper, I may say that my difficulties with receiving come from my early childhood, growing up in an environment where there was no space for me to express my needs or ask for them to be covered, I simply closed down, in my own little safe bubble and slowly, slowly learnt to find my own ways, then with little steps and support from friends and relationships, became an independent woman who could, of course, get shit done on her own, move furniture around on my own (in some cases I wonder how I managed!), go live in remote scary places, buy a house by myself, etc, etc. At some point in life that I can’t exactly remember, I asked myself a question “Of course I can but… Do I want to do everything on my own? Hell NO!!” And that has been a tipping point for me for the way I live and work and for stepping out in the world. I’m sure many of you out there resonate with this, you all strong independent women and men. We’re in this together.

And that togetherness is what made me fall in love this week. With two awesome, talented, brave human beings who created a space for me to say anything and everything, who shared themselves openly, who supported me, who gave and received support, allowing the flow to serve its purpose: allowing the flow to flow.

For me generosity is a flow. The flow of life that comes and goes and returns, in unexpected ways that may seem unconnected and unrelated at first but that, in reality, connect us and make us relate to each other. Sometimes even fall in love with each other.

Week#4 LW_How generosity made me fall in love was originally published in Greaterthan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This week has been a change of gear in the PSMI, we are going personal. And I have to say, I love it. It doesn’t matter how many times I reflect, or deepen my self-understanding, or uncover yet another layer of consciousness, I always get something new out of the process. This week wasn’t different.

The activity itself was not difficult for me at all. Having a partner to discuss the progress with definitely helped, and once I identified the improvement goal that I wanted to work on, the rest came out with ease and flow. Sharing it with my group wasn’t difficult at all either. And now, for some reason, writing about this week happens to be very challenging. I don’t even know what it is, so I’ll keep writing until I find out. Why is it that words are not flowing? What’s the blockage? Is it sharing myself what I’m not comfortable with? Nah! Is it that I have way too many ideas in my mind and don’t know how to organise them in a text for public access? Not at all! Is it that I keep writing stuff that I don’t like because I’m not really saying what I really want to say? Uhmmm that resonates. Give me a second, I need a pause.

………..

This week has been tough for different reasons that I’m not going to explain now, but what’s been especially present for me is the imbalance of the feminine and the masculine. I wish I didn’t need to explain this anymore, but I’m not talking about women vs men here. I’m talking about my feminine and my masculine, I’m talking about the feminine and the masculine that you all have in you, I’m talking about the collective feminine and the collective masculine. Both mine and the collective live mostly out of balance. Both mine and the collective are craving for acknowledgement, space, recognition of each other and coexistence. This topic touches my heart deeply. So deeply that I’m going to leave it here, for now.

Feminine-Masculine, Inner-Outer, Light-Shadow, Me-You, Structure-Flow,… the duality.

Self Management-Hierarchy. Is this another example of duality? Sometimes we need to completely break with the old in order for the new to emerge. Sometimes like in the above-mentioned spectrums, we need to find the balance and be able to move from one extreme to the other. What I’m seeing and experiencing at the moment in terms of implementing self-management practices is that in some cases it’s easier to go all the way into self-management and break up with any sort of hierarchy. In other cases though, a certain hierarchical presence is still needed. I wonder what the future will bring. Will it be one or the other? Will it be something in between, a combination of both? Or will we see the emergence of something completely different?

We will see. In the meantime, I find myself wondering how I could bring the extremes closer. In any of those spectrums. Maybe I can start by internalising the external and externalising the internal.

One thing is to know the path

Another thing is to be willing to walk the path

And yet another thing is to actually take steps along that path

I know this is the path, this is the way to go. Right now, for me.

I am willing to walk this path. I say it out loud!

Walking this path requires to internalize what’s happening outside by reflecting on it and looking inside, it requires to look inside again, to look deeper, to process stuff that comes up, and then, to externalize by sharing it. So here it is, here I am, walking my path:

Why do we have to look inside ourselves in a Self Management course, you may ask? Isn’t the “Practical” bit in Practical Self Management Intensive about tools and processes and implementing them in tangible and measurable situations? Well, yes. Yes, AND.

Self Management’s foundation is open and honest conversations. It’s about creating the space for people to be able to have either joyful or difficult conversations in ways that are healthy, safe and for growth. It’s about being in relationship with others. The possibility of creating that space arises when, at least one person in the group, is deliberately developmental.

Week #3 LW_Internalizing my outer doer, externalizing my inner being was originally published in Greaterthan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I’m going to start by sharing with you the result of this week’s team work. Because it’s awesome!

We had to create our Social Contract, a document in any form to represent how we work together, what’s important for us, how we want to be with each other. We were asked to be creative. And we did our best, in the form of a video.

We also wanted to test it, really test it out in the real world. For that, we thought that we could use it to see to what extent these new ways of working attract people. We published the video, created a landing page website and We are asking people to get in touch if they resonate. Do you? Say hi!

Watch our Video

Visit our Website

At the end of the session in which the team presented (thanks Guita and Yves for representing while I was somewhere between passport controls and scanners in the Delhi Airport), Yves reflected on the ease with which we have developed and delivered this project and it got me thinking too.

How is it that completing this assignment has been so easy, relatively low time-consuming and with such a good result? And how is it that trying to do something similar in our respective organisations would take weeks if not months? What are the elements that make a difference? I believe the following are needed:

Commitment, we are all obviously committed to fully participating in this course.

Shared responsibility, all team members felt responsible to deliver, there wasn’t one person more in charge than another, and there was no command or control. On the contrary, there was support and freedom to choose what each of us wanted to focus on.

Trust, we trust each other, with delays, internet problems, and all, we trusted that if someone said they’re going to do something, they will. And we all have.

These elements are needed, right? Like me, you may have worked in teams with those elements and you know that it can still take you weeks to complete your projects. What is the differential element?

I’m not sure and would love to hear your ideas, but my feeling is that it has to do with Joy and Creativity

The fact that it’s a bit like a game (even though it’s as serious as having a published website and a youtube video), make the process easier. We were not conditioned by perfectionism, and that allowed us to work more freely and push our creativity. Both joy and creativity keep our energy up, increase our individual and collective frequency and, somehow, allow things to flow.

Now, how to integrate these two elements in an organisation is a different story. Because sometimes they are seen as unproductive, because I have been told many times, in my old corporate days, that I laugh TOO much, because the word play and work don’t go together that often. Unfortunately.

I’m currently working onsite with Yash Papers Ltd in India in their transition into self-management. Our vision is to create a culture of freedom and love, with a strong focus on personal development. I’ve been here for about three months now and people are very interested in growing and learning, which is a great driver for the project. However, I’m facing a very deeply rooted culture of fear. It’s partly cultural and I’m not sure if we’ll be able to shift it (at least in the short or medium term).

I know I can’t fight fear and the issue is probably so complex for me to even understand. So, I’m using a different approach to alleviate fear: Love.

Instead of trying to implement big changes, with big announcements and a policy-like approach, I’m experimenting with small, easy practices, with the intention to simply initiate them and see how they expand organically. For example, I’ve started using appreciation cards, leaving appreciation notes on someone’s desk, just appreciating them for something specific, with no signature or name or reference to myself. So far they know it’s me because my notes are in English but I’ve started writing in Hindi :)

Would you share any other elements that you consider necessary for these new ways of working to actually work?

Would you add any tools, practices or ideas in regards to transforming a culture of fear into a culture of love and joy?

I would love to hear you, comment below or get in touch.

Week #2 LW_From a culture of fear to a culture of Love and Joy was originally published in Greaterthan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Last year when I came to Spain, I heard the call of Ireland. Very strongly. I ended up not going there. It was my first visit to Spain after I moved to New Zealand, six years before, and it was time to take it easy, to come back to my roots, to spend time with family, to connect and reconnect with friends. So I didn’t go to Ireland.

But the call was even stronger when this year I bought my tickets to Europe. Budapest and Lake Balaton to meet an outstanding group of people working under and for self-management principles. An emergent gathering organised by Social Fokus and Enspiral, to experience rural co-working and co-living, a Summer Office concept that I embrace from now on!

Back to Ireland. I simply listened and bought my tickets. Had absolutely nothing planed and actually wanted to flow. And so I did. And Ireland received me with ease and synchronicity and serendipity.

I experienced three Irelands:

Ireland 1 — The natural green Ireland that connects me with New Zealand, and with myself, that grounds me and uplifts me. That makes me feel alive and in my body. The Ireland of cliffs, sand and rocks, green hills, inviting forests, and the strangest volcanic formations (or).

Ireland 2 — The Middle Ages Ireland. The dark and dense Ireland that makes me connect with the shadow, with pain and solitude and darkness. With wounds, both mine and collective. Here I connected with the pain of the monk who lived in loneliness due to his lack of capacity to love others just as they are. This is the Ireland that makes me face and go through all these wounds, so to transform them to allow me to connect with the third Ireland.

Ireland 3 — The Ancient Ireland. The very ancient one, like 5,000 years old. Here I was given the gift of the energy of playfulness, of lightness and joy and ease. The old and the new, simply the same. This is the Ireland that maintains that energy of playfulness beneath layers of anger and rage, because of the abuse, the misuse and the complete lack of understanding. That was my farewell gift, and with that energy of playfulness, I left and it stays with me.

On the week I was supposed to be on holidays, disconnecting from the online world while connecting to the Irish land and people. That’s when the Practical Self-Management Intensive starts!

After a bumpy beginning, the team gets together a couple of times and we get it done! Pheeewwww

The assignment consists in creating a company and creating at least twenty roles. Of course both the process and the results are pretty much self-managed, the instructions are clear and quite open so we can practice self-management from the very beginning. Love it!

Along the process, I realise how important is for me to move from hierarchy and bosses to team accountability. I have to admit that I’ve always had some issues with authority. But hey, I’m sure many of those of us immersed in this self-management way of being have some issues with authority. Right?

If this was a course that I was doing on my own, I can see myself justifying “hey, but I’m on holidays” or “well, I drove all day yesterday and I was so tired for the 7am session, sorry…” or “ended up in a place with very poor reception and could not make internet work” or “oups, messed up with my flying times and missed the session” Oh wait, the last one really happened! Actually, all of them are true. And somehow, I managed to be there, get online, say hi, connect with my team, and do the work.

Looking back I really don’t know how some of those things got sorted. What I know is that, if I wasn’t working in a team, if I didn’t have some sort of team accountability, those obstacles would’ve made me miss most of this week’s work. Don’t ask me how or why, I just know.

So here it is, our first week’s assignment on Creating Roles. It took us a couple of iterations and, why not admit it, some moments of uncertainty and insecurity. At the end, all we did was put our best onto it, trust the process and trust the people.

Week #1 LW_On team accountability was originally published in Greaterthan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Yesterday a new cohort started the Practical Self-Management Intensive online course. I was traveling and I missed the first session, so I thought I’d write my check-in.

The check-in (or chicken in kiwi English ;) ) is a process in which each person shares something about themselves. Sometimes there’s a guiding question, sometimes we share what’s on top or how are we feeling today.

In this occasion, the check-in questions were:

- What have you been noticing in your world? What has been changing?

- A favorite activity outside of work

- What do you want to get out of this course?

And here, my check-in

What have you been noticing in your world? What has been changing?

When I left corporate HR about eight years ago, a friend told me “you’ll be back, just differently”.

A few years ago I started hearing about Teal, the book Reinventing Organisations, self-management, etc. At first, I didn’t really pay much attention but the topics kept finding me. Through friends, colleagues, and organisations I was collaborating with. Through books, experiments and spontaneous trials.

My first real experience putting these concepts in practice was organizing an event with a team of volunteers a couple of years ago. From the beginning, I saw it as an opportunity for me to learn a new leadership style, and for the whole team to practice new ways of working together. At the time I didn’t know anything about teal or self-management practices. I just knew that I wanted to learn new ways of working. Learn by trying and practicing.

And I did learn. Through trial and error, through having difficult conversations, through creating clear criteria for decision making and setting the foundations for everyone to work and create freely.

What I’ve been noticing in my world is that there’s a need, that people are craving to find new ways of working (and being). That sometimes we need to step back before moving forward. I’ve noticed that people want to do this, they want to move in this direction, even though sometimes they’re not ready. I’ve noticed that “to go deep, we have to go slow”.

I’m now back into corporate work. Totally differently from when I last worked in the corporate world eight years ago. The work I’m doing is different. Most importantly, the intention of the work I’m doing is different. Talk about purpose. The way I work, interact, value my time, organize my hours, and the way I am, is different.

I’m glad to be back. I’m also concerned about getting frustrated and giving up. Because there’s as much need as resistance. There’s as much fear as will to experience transformation. Both individually and collectively. To me, the way to keep going is going slow. And deep. And to infuse a culture of love where there’s fear. But that’s another article.

A favorite activity outside of work

Walking! I love walking in nature, connecting with myself, connecting with my inner and my outer worlds. I also love getting lost in a city, walking without destination, without a map, randomly finding new corners, lovely places, gorgeous little cafes, local shops. I love randomly finding new ways of getting to places, new ways of being.

What do you want to get out of this course?

My intentions for the course are:

- To give structure to what I know so far in relation to self-management and to what I’m doing at Yash Papers, the company I’m supporting in their transition to self-management. To learn new tools and practices. And to put them in action in real life, try them and see what works in this environment.

- To explore, to experience, to learn. To connect. To give and receive, to share. And to be part of a network of people who bring the future of work to the present.

And then, at the end of the gathering, we do a check-out

If you were a tree or a plant, which would you be?

I know pine trees are considered a pest in New Zealand, but they’re also an icon of my childhood. The smell takes me back to summers at my grandparents, and memories of picking, cracking and eating pine nuts. Still love doing it when I go back to Spain.

Also, I’m somehow an “introduced specie” in New Zealand :)

Week #1 LW Academy_Check-in was originally published in Greaterthan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Eleven weeks since I first arrived in India. My very first time in Mother India, with Mother India, for Mother India.

My journey to get here has been one of the most random (ha!) journeys I’ve ever had in my life. Oh wait, I might be forgetting a few other synchronicities, but let’s focus on this one.

Through a series of questions that came out of my mouth surprising even myself, I ended up in a meeting with a group of power (yes, power) women connected by their passion to create new ways of working and activate consciousness in organisations. It wasn’t very random that I ended up there.

Through a series of very strongly felt YES, I found myself following a force that I could feel in my gut, in my heart and in my mind. Not knowing where this was taking me, or why. Simply acknowledging my YES, in capital letters. And saying yes to my yes.

Through a series of short emails and conference calls, I realised I was on my way to something big. India, new ways of working, monsoon season, self-management, mangoes, and my return to HR as I always envisioned it: same, same but different. HR related but different type of work, different kind of involvement, different perspective, different intention, and different results! New ways of working within an organisation for myself, while accompanying others in creating their new ways of working. Am I dreaming?

What these new ways of working look like, you may ask? Well, we still don’t know. We know it’s a 2–5 years journey. We know we want a culture of freedom and joy. We know we need to involve everyone in this journey. We know it will be exciting and challenging, and more exciting! We know we need a combination of structure and flow. We know that we don’t know.

Systems, processes and policies put in place to ensure that the foundations are strong enough to enable people to operate under self-management principles, to have courageous conversations, to make team decisions on business matters, to innovate and implement, to try and fail, and try and fail again and, overall, learn and grow.

Through a series of meetings in Hindi where at the same time I understand nothing (of the spoken) and understand lots (of the team dynamics, personal involvement, dedication, participation and engagement, formal and informal hierarchies, collaboration patterns, and more), I am finding allies, champions and people willing to lead this boat into harbour. I find myself embracing these four words:

Seva — Service

Vidya — Knowledge

Prema — Love

Sahayog — Collaboration, co-partnership

Through lots of conversations on culture, triggers, environment, language, innovation, personal growth, business, food, companionship, leadership, India, friendship, Heads of, the World, myself, you, they, us, oneness, I keep saying YES.

Mis venas no entienden, se contraen intentando respirar en este mar sin aire.

Una ola de ansiedad deja mis células a la deriva,

Sin saber dónde ir, sin saber cómo recuperar el rumbo.

Mis ojos se tambalean, mi corazón te busca con la mirada vacía,

Vacía de amor, rebosante de vacío

_

Mis células no comprenden,

Mi piel se calienta de enojo, se enrabieta de distancia

Se estira, se encoje

Mi corazón

Mi piel

Mi alma

No comprenden.

_

Mis células no comprenden

Lo que mi voz les dice,

Que todo está bien,

Que están a salvo,

Que no es el fin del mundo

Sino el inicio de otra vida,

El inicio de otro ser,

Un inicio sin fin.

_

Mis células mueren,

Y con ellas

Mi dolor,

Con ellas mi sentir,

Con ellas mi prisión.

They thought it was a typo. was originally published in The Wreath on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.