Ladders here suggest responsibilities and swings suggest fun, hobbies or dreams you had as a child.

The price of survival in this capitalist world is to work hard, be responsible and climb the corporate ladder. But what if you don’t want to climb the ladder? What if you just want to sit on the swing for a few hours? Or a lifetime?

Who even said there is no other equipment to play with? Ladders are quite boring to be honest. You can go on a slide, a seesaw, merry-go-round, monkey-bars, spring rider, tire swing and whatnot. The playground is huge. It’s just that only the ladders get the billboards.

This thought would obviously cross your mind. Because it crosses everyone’s mind. But what will you even do if the “Big guns” are only selling ladders? What will you do if ladders are the only things advertised everywhere? You will believe that. After rebelling for a bit, of course. But eventually, you would climb that ladder. Not because you want to but it’s the only thing available and you my dear friend, have to survive.

Have you ever thought that if everyone hates that damn ladder so much, why do they keep climbing it? Is it because they like to look down on people who are enjoying their swings without reaching the top as advertised?

Maybe it’s not the ladder they hate. Maybe it’s the idea that after spending so much of their lives climbing it, someone else could be perfectly happy without ever having to.

Or maybe they fell for the advertisement and climbed to the top, only to realise there is no top? It’s an endless pit that keeps on expanding? But they have spent so much of their time getting there that admitting it feels impossible, so they gloat instead, even though they are very uncomfortable and shit scared of heights.

But here’s an interesting thing. After some time the swing people won’t be visible to the ladder ones. The people on the top will find their tribe, get their treasure and have the means ( like planes or helicopters for example) to climb up and down whenever they want.

Meanwhile the people on the swing are still swinging. Having their fun. But after a while their fun will turn into something bitter when they realise everyone seems to be at the top and they have no means to go there.

Well that sucks, doesn’t it? Every ladder has its falls, and every swing has its moments of dizziness. You don’t get to choose a life without ups and downs. You only get to choose which ones you’re willing to live with.

Life be like- Pick your poison, babe. I am poison either way.

But here’s the thing. In this case, the only way to happily get through life is to keep one hand on the ladder and one foot on the swing.

Yes, it looks ridiculous. You’ll be standing there like a confused flamingo while everyone else commits fully to one thing. But you know what? Flamingos look happy. Mostly.

Climb when you have to. Pay the bills, impress the boss, get the shiny title. But keep a little corner for the stuff that made you feel alive before anyone handed you a deadline. The painting, the 2 am playlist, the pointless hobby you’re terrible at and love anyway.

Because let’s be honest, nobody is going to put up a billboard for the swing. Nobody is running ads saying “Go sit in the park for an hour, babe.” You’ll have to pick it yourself. On purpose. Like a rebel.

And if you reach the top and find there is no top? Well, at least you’ll remember where the swing is.

So, now you get the importance of having a life outside your responsibilities? You get to climb the ladder without having to abandon the swing. A win-win indeed.

Good night at 4:04 pm.

I am right now writing this article on my phone while walking. Talk about benefits and multitasking. I love how walking can be blended with almost every other activity. And it is possible because of our phones. Because imagine trying to walk with a laptop in your hand. I don’t even have to imagine, I have done it and it hurts.

Before I try to pretend I know the answer to all our problems, I would first like to clarify what even the problem is. Because when we say- ugh that damn phone, it is not only very vague but also very unjust. You are hurting your phone’s feelings at this point, and it’s very stupid considering how many of your secrets it holds😂😭That thing helps us with almost everything if we are mindful.

So task one would be to tackle the main culprit here and that is scrolling. The rest we will figure out afterwards.

The basic solutions that we are always being told don’t work on me specifically.

Like, what do you mean make scrolling more difficult or inconvenient. I would install and uninstall that damn Instagram 10 times a day if I have to because nothing is as inconvenient as facing my reality. Escapism is the only convenience I have and you want me to take that away? Not a very convincing argument there, buddy.

The only realistic thing left to do here is make your life more fun and interesting than your Instagram. Okay, not very realistic. How about you spend time on things that keep you genuinely engaged and naturally remove that urge to keep checking up on others. Because you are either busy creating or tired after creating. And if you like the reason you are tired like Anne Hathaway said, then my friends, sleep tight because you are doing something right😂😭 (This line felt a bit cringe, but I am gonna keep it because yesterday I wrote about how the world doesn’t need another perfect version of you and I am not gonna be a hypocrite the very next day. Will wait at least a week 😭)

You don’t have to make your life more interesting than what other people show on social media. You just have to make it interesting enough to not care about what people do in theirs.

Or maybe it does. Who am I to say anything for sure. Maybe someone out there is a surgeon whose skill needs perfection. Or someone else is a scientist who is just one experiment away from creating a perfect cure for some deadly disease. I don’t know that.

What I know is, you can show some grace and love to the imperfect version you think you are right now.

Excellence is such a beautiful thing- I personally love it. So does everyone else. It is admirable to spend years of your life mastering a skill or learning something different or creating something extraordinary. It is one of the most wonderful things about being a human.

But what I want you to be okay with is the process of becoming that "perfect" self. You don’t have to wait until you clear that exam to have fun on the weekend. You don’t have to wait until you get your dream job to take that trip. You don’t have to wait until you achieve your fitness goals to wear that outfit you’ve been saving.

You can start a yoga challenge on 6 September 2025 (a random day) or a walking habit on 17 July 2026 (another random day). Personal experience speaking here.

We often convince ourselves that certain things need to happen in a particular order. First this, then that. First become successful, then enjoy life. First achieve your goals, then give yourself permission to be happy. But who decided that these things cannot coexist?
You can work towards a better future while enjoying your present. You can be ambitious and content, disciplined and spontaneous, a work in progress and someone who appreciates their life. These things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

(Ok bye now. It was supposed to be a 30 min article but it has been 2 hours since I started writing. Changed the intro alone 5 times😂😭 Meanwhile the article is about being ok with not being perfect).

A walking contradiction or someone with high standards, you decide. I did say I love excellence though.

When we think of emotionally mature people, what comes to mind? Someone who knows how to handle their emotions. Someone who does not react but responds. Someone who bounces back from a failure or rejection without becoming bitter, right?

There are so many more things we can learn from them when it comes to relationships or life in general.

In this article, we are going to talk about 7 things emotionally mature people don’t waste their time on.

1) Trying to win every argument

Emotionally Mature people know where to lose an argument to keep the relationship and when to leave the relationship to keep their peace of mind. To them, unnecessary debates that keep circling back and forth without reaching a conclusion are useless. It’s a misuse of their time and energy.

No amount of love, attraction or care is worth a disturbed nervous system when you’re the only one putting in effort.

2) Explaining themselves to people who are determined to misunderstand them

There is a difference between someone genuinely trying to understand your perspective and someone who has already made up their mind about you.

Emotionally mature people can recognise that difference. They are willing to explain themselves, clarify misunderstandings and even accept when they are wrong. But they also understand that communication only works when both people are willing to listen. You cannot have a productive conversation with someone who is only waiting for their turn to prove you wrong.

3) Keeping score in relationships

It’s one thing to keep score in relationships and another to notice if the relationship is mutual. It’s easier to confuse the two. Noticing whether a relationship is mutual is healthy. It helps you recognise one-sided relationships and establish boundaries. But constantly bringing up past favours, calculating who owes whom, using sacrifices as weapons during arguments and expecting exact returns can become unhealthy.

Never noticing how much you’re giving compared to how much you’re receiving isn’t a sign of emotional maturity. They are just ignoring their needs to keep the peace. When that happens the relationship is doomed anyway.

4) Obsessing over things that are outside of their control

It is very normal to have thoughts about things that are outside of your control. It is not very healthy to consciously engage with them. To make a chain of thoughts and spiral in it.

Everyone thinks about stuff that is outside of their control. Not everyone chooses to dwell over it. They understand that repeatedly thinking about something does not bring them any closer to solving it.

5) Seeking validation from everyone

Not seeking validation from everyone is a sign of how much you know yourself. How confident you are in your identity and how clear you are in your vision. That strong sense of self develops when you spend time getting to know yourself. The more comfortable you become with who you are, the less you need other people to tell you who you should be.

6) Bringing yesterday’s mistake into today’s decisions

Emotionally mature people understand that making mistakes is an inevitable part of being human. They don’t pretend their mistakes never happened or conveniently forget the lessons that came with them.

Instead, they take responsibility for their decisions, understand what went wrong and make a conscious effort not to repeat the same patterns.

7) Comparing their journey with everyone else’s

Emotionally mature people understand that everyone has a different starting point, set of circumstances, priorities and definition of success. They don’t let someone else’s achievements become a reminder of everything they haven’t achieved yet.

The problem with comparison is that we often compare our entire lives with carefully selected parts of someone else’s. And that is just wrong in every way possible. Statistically, mathematically, technically, you name it. Because it just does not make any sense, you know. It’s just a feeling, you have to let it pass and get back to work.

While writing this article, I realised not everyone around me, including myself, is very mature. I have done most of the things mentioned here, if not all. At this point , I think 100% emotional maturity only exists in robots 😂

I realised how idealistic some of these expectations are and started wondering what the point of writing this article was.

But ( there’s always a but 😂) I think it is just a helping hand to see and understand how people behave and question whether they want to continue doing that.

Maybe they just get better at recognising when they’re doing them.

Or maybe they just give up. Sleep does become important after a certain age 😂

(FYI- I did write yesterday. Just didn’t post it. It’s a big article and I didn’t want to intentionally write crap in the name of posting something. When I am writing with all I have and then it turns out crap is totally different than intentionally writing crap to tick a box.)

You must have heard somewhere that all these social media apps are deliberately designed in a way that captures our attention. They want us to spend our precious hours on them.

So why do we feel guilty about scrolling all day long when exceptionally talented people are working day and night to make that happen? How genius does one have to be to make someone lose control over their life while still keeping them under the illusion that it’s their choice to destroy their youth like that. To make them feel guilty about spending their time on this rectangular little box when the goal was just that. Meanwhile the person is sitting there feeling bad about how they could have easily avoided this if they had an ounce of self control or discipline. When in reality they did exactly what they were supposed to do.

It feels like a personal test. Like a level of a game that we have to cross in order to reach the next level. All of this is carefully masked under the name of entertainment.

But I am also thinking of the other side where people are choosing to create and earn from it. This is a very for the people by the people type arrangement here. It feels very- who is going to take this opportunity to do better and who chooses to drown in their habits type of situation.

How am I supposed to come to a conclusion when the same platform that allows someone to spend six hours mindlessly scrolling also allows someone else to spend six hours creating content, building an audience, sharing knowledge or running a business.

The fact that both these arguments seem pretty solid is making my brain go haywire.

We cannot deny that these platforms have opened doors that didn’t even exist for an ordinary person a decade ago. Someone sitting in a small town can build an audience, sell a product, teach thousands of people or make a living doing something they genuinely enjoy.

At the same time, we cannot pretend that the people behind these platforms don’t understand human behaviour. They know what keeps us watching, what makes us curious, what makes us come back for one more video. And they have built incredibly sophisticated systems around that knowledge.

So where does that leave us?
I don’t think the answer is to demonise social media or to blame ourselves for every hour we spend on it.

Maybe the point is to stop personalizing everything so much. Every opportunity is not an obligation and every distraction is not a personal failure. I would just leave it at that.

Earlier, I would have stopped writing as soon as the contradiction came and this article would have joined the draft section. Now when the goal is to just show up no matter how shitty the article is ( to me), not only it is finished but will also be published.

The difference between our intellect and our instinct is as simple as wanting to eat ice cream in peak winter season but choosing not to because you know you might fall sick.

Only if our real life problems were as simple as this. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

Reality has something bigger in store for us. Something more complicated where consequences of things going downhill are far more hazardous than expected.

So, when the two disagree, how do we decide whom to listen to?

Because how will you know if your instinct is warning you about something your intellect cannot explain?

Or

What if your intellect is protecting you from a risk you actually need to take?

Or, bear with me…

What if both are trying to protect you, but from entirely different things?

Do you see how difficult it is to live inside my head? 😭

When you are unable to answer these questions, when you’ve exhausted every possible argument in your head and still cannot arrive at a decision, you turn towards fate.

You flip a coin and accept whatever comes your way as destiny.

But, there’s always a but, the coin flip never tells us what the answer is. It just reveals how you feel about the answer.

Ugh, I mean, if you knew the answer all along, why all this drama then.

Because apparently knowing what you want and being willing to live with the consequences of choosing it are two entirely different things.

Do all these deep meaningful, mind boggling questions end with a conclusion that we are lazy?😂

Because what do you mean you want to know you are making the right decision before making it Like a guarantee of some sort that things won’t fall apart just because you chose to listen to yourself.

ugh

I think it is rightfully said that do or don’t you will regret both. And just because it’s right does not mean it’s not frustrating.

Because what could be stupider than wanting certainty in a world that operates on possibility?

You want to know whether the person you’re choosing is the right one, whether the opportunity you’re taking will work out, or whether you’re making a mistake you’ll regret later.

But you won’t get to see the ending before you begin.

You will keep circling between intellect and instinct or head and heart as they say in layman terms.

Your intellect will give you reasons and your instinct will give you a feeling. You can consult people, make lists, flip coins and spend countless nights thinking about the same thing.

And yet, the final decision will be yours.

Don’t forget- do or don’t, you will regret both.

After a very fun evening, here I am trying to write something.

At this point the goal is not to write well but to show up.

So about the article. Imagine losing your dream because you could not put your phone down. I read this line on Instagram and it felt like a reality check. And to be honest nobody likes that.

The fact that after writing one line of this article I am watching my diwali stories on Instagram is diabolical.

No amount of reality checks can win against your habits, I guess.

But I think there is more to that. It could also be about trust.

We normally think of our brain as our own. Like it is a part of our body. Which it technically is. What if we start thinking of our brain and body as two different things.

These are two different things that make us whole but they are not in sync with each other. The brain doesn’t trust the actions our body takes. And to take advantage of this situation, people have introduced so many social media apps to increase this difference.

What if we just make our brain believe it can trust us to do something when we say we are going to do something.

The brain is the brain after all. Very smart, very sceptical. It will never trust the words until they are backed by actions. and for someone like me, even 21 days are not enough. It needs at least 365 days of consistent work in order to make a habit and build trust.

But once the trust is built it feels so good. Once the brain and body are in harmony, or not even in absolute harmony, but in the process. The feeling that at least some progress is being made is priceless.

Once you get your brain in control, it will be easier to keep that phone down. Or anything down that is not aligned with the goals you have set and the habits you have made for yourself.

I have so many questions.

Are you patient or just undisturbed?

Are you easygoing or have you stopped asking for what you want?

Do you like being alone or have you gotten comfortable not having to show up for anyone?

Are you forgiving or do you just hate confrontation?

Are you independent or have you simply stopped expecting help?

Are you genuinely low-maintenance or have you convinced yourself that having needs is inconvenient?

Are you private or afraid of being known?

Are you being realistic or making excuses for not trying?

Whatever you think you are, why do you think it matters? Does it even matter?

Do you know what I am? Sleepy🤣😭

But these are some really good questions to think about once in a while. Just once in a while, though.

If you thought I was going to give you answers, sorry to disappoint you. I just have questions.

If you're okay with overthinking, maybe you haven't thought enough.

Because when you reach the pinnacle of it, you become sick of it. And it is very important to get sick of it. It is very important to get trapped in your mind so much so that you feel like separating it from the body.

Imagine casually taking your head off and putting it somewhere safe, just like you do with your phone or earphones when your eyes or ears hurt.

When you have reached that point, that’s when staying consistent starts making sense. Because you’ve already seen the worst, and you don’t ever want to go there again.

There are obviously people who don’t have to reach rock bottom to realise their habits need to change. I just can’t relate to them.

Because if you are a naturally disciplined and consistent person, you wouldn’t understand. This is for average people with unused potential and high ambitions. They know the feeling of wanting to do something but finding themselves constantly procrastinating and feeling bad about it. People who are tired of their own patterns but somehow keep repeating them. People who keep getting in their own way.

Sometimes I think it is their destiny. Those people who destroy themselves. It’s easier to believe in destiny than to admit that they could have done better but chose not to, either consciously or unconsciously.

When you are deep in the hole, it is understandable to get overwhelmed and give in. But if you could just force yourself to change one tiny habit at a time. Just one. I am not saying it will do wonders but it also wouldn’t hurt.

I started doing yoga every day for 10 minutes on 6 September 2025. That’s 71 hours. I mean, I could have scrolled Instagram for 71 hours. (And 71 hours is a bare minimum, there’s more to it).

But that tiny change that didn’t seem like anything has now made me walk up to 20k steps a day and start a 365 day writing challenge. Compound interest is a fascinating term.

It’s crazy how I once started an article with "I am the most inconsistent person you will ever meet" and now here I am, saying I’ve shown up for 400+ days, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Crazy

I wonder how many other things I’ve convinced myself I can’t do simply because I’ve never given myself enough time to do them. Or how many times I’ve mistaken an old version of myself for a permanent one.

Maybe that’s another thing you can think yourself out of. The idea that you’re just the way you are, and nothing can change that.

Making this declaration because it works for me. I have been doing yoga every day ( just for 10 minutes) for 400+ days now. I have been walking lakhs of steps every month since 17 July 2026. 580k steps in October. 514k in September. 326k in August and 280k in July.

And I have been wanting to write for years now but didn’t. I mean, I did for a while but then stopped. (Story of my life).

Lately (for 2 years now), I have been constantly thinking about writing the best thing, the very original, non-boring, non-cringe content that just blows the internet and makes me rich overnight.

Seems foolish when I say (write) it out loud but it felt like a pretty big deal at that time. Even a small amount of friction can do wonders if you are lazy enough 😂.

So what I have written till now in this article is very shitty according to me. Ok not very, but still. This is basically a diary entry.

But today’s goal was to publish a shitty article. I have changed the narrative now. An instagram reel helped me. It told me to write a bad article. ( and if you think this is bad then you should know I have not intentionally made it bad. It just means that at this point of time I am a bad writer).

I am not even a writer, just someone literate who can read and write and think a little bit and then write a little bit more and then blabber a lot and expect people to listen to it and be amused by it. A very deluded self indeed.

So I am going to write bad articles and hope that one day they are a little less bad. It is a very good mindset shift by the way. Because when I was measuring my articles on a scale of 1–10 and my goal was 10, I didn’t publish anything.

It was just draft after draft after draft. And it came with a lot of frustration and misdirected anger.

For me, creating is a need at this point. Not want, but need. Otherwise all that creative energy will flow in all the wrong direction.

Sometimes what you think is an obsessive personality is just creative energy begging to be let out in healthy ways.

And remember, if you get overwhelmed easily, change the goal from being the best to being a little less bad. It will be a game changer.

One thing at a time. I think I will die on this hill. Getting better by 0.01 percent a day. It's like creating a solid base, building habits, planting seeds, letting the roots grow deep so that you don't get blown away by strong winds.

Ok bye, good night.