My mom (and probably your’s too) taught me there are two sides to every story. Today an article came out that cited me and hinted that i was a problem to the addiction crises, or at the very least seems to have accused me for unethical marketing. So here’s my response to an article that I was highlighted in.

I’ve heard the landscape in which the addiction treatment world currently finds itself described as the “Wild West,” but that’s not really all that accurate. The Wild West, at least, had a local sheriff in town. At best, the addiction treatment world has those loss prevention guys on Segways at Target. Sure, they watch, but everyone knows they can’t put hands on you to make an apprehension. Realistically, what are they really gonna do?

I recently wrote a HuffPo article, which was written two days before i had known about any article that was going to come out against me. Though the Verge article which accuses me of multiple things that aren’t true says that this was my reason for writing the HuffPo article in the first place. Well actually, that article i wrote has been in the making for quite some time and was published two days before i had any knowledge this article was coming out. My goal for the past month has been to try to mobilize the treatment industry to come up with standards to help improve it, and there are plenty of people who know that.

The goal in mind for that HuffPo article was (and still is)— to put out a call to action to bring together the leaders and influential voices in this industry so that, collectively, we as an industry could begin to weed out the bad actors and win back the trust of a public whose confidence has been shaken. In that story, I tried to be as transparent as possible as to my connections in the industry, as well as identify why that puts me in an ideal position to try and bring people together for a solution. But perhaps I should back up just a little.

Addiction Unscripted, originally called The Real Edition, was created with the goal of bringing together any and everyone whose lives have been affected by addiction — be they addicts, parents, siblings, colleagues, whoever — and give them a platform to share their experiences through writing, in the hope that the cathartic and therapeutic value of reading your experience in someone else’s story would connect us, showing us that we’re not alone, and that we have nothing to be ashamed of. When I put the site together, there was no roadmap to guide me, no blueprint to follow. I knew I wanted a platform for reading and writing, but little else beyond that.

When I started the site, I didn’t know if two people would use it, or two thousand. I was flying blind, into the abyss of the unknown, which I was totally ok with because the unknown was exciting. However, it was still unknown. To my surprise, the site took off and within six months we had hundreds of thousands of readers and writers. I’d devoted so much time to getting the reading/writing side of things dialed, that I failed to anticipate the one need that came up almost immediately, and frequently: where to go for help.

If you look back at the site’s history, there was no rehab directory in the beginning. It didn’t exist because I hadn’t anticipated the need for its existence. The need grew organically, unplanned, and it was indeed an idea of a place i could also monetize down the road while helping others with resources, i had seen Rehabs.com make revenue while providing value, and thought I could do it better. Turns out, I didn’t like the directory model from both an altruistic and monetary position, and decided to divert from that nearly a year ago.. As i mentioned to the reporter, the directory was unfinished, and abandoned a long time ago, as I focused in on the ability to bring more innovative and value driven concepts to people in need.

Moreover, by including a facility’s information — name, address, website — without their permission, we also opened ourselves up potential litigation by the treatment facilities themselves, since we were basically running a free advertising campaign for them without their permission. With potential litigation on both sides, the directory was forced to adapt. We did this as follows: We gave facilities the opportunity to “claim” their information (like on Yelp), at which point they’d be taking on the liability from the patient-side of things, and we’d be off the hook from litigation by them since we now were reporting their contact info with their approval. If we couldn’t get them to claim their site, we listed a prompt that said “For more info call us” and the addictionunsctiprted.com calls were directed to addiction counslers who worked at the same facility I was very familiar with and worked for in other respects. I knew it was reputable, I knew they followed industry best-practices, cutting-edge methods that fell in-line with CA state adopted ASAM criteria, and didn’t collect any brokerage fees from facilities to whom it referred patients out. Still, I ended up ditching that effort many months ago, as I found marketing channels that were better set up for control and transparency, to avoid marketing in a way that could send people to a treatment center that I couldn’t fully “vet”..

When the Facebook Group was born, I transfered this model over to social media. Since I would be putting my name and my reputation on the line for any facility to whom group members were being directed, I didn’t feel comfortable sending them out to just any facility for whom I couldn’t vouch. The bad actors in the industry seemed to be filling up the newspapers with horror stories, and my biggest fear was a person from our group being directed to one of these facilities by us, and tragedy striking. So i relied on the infrastructure and counselors with clinical experience at Windward Way to facilitate these, wether that meant they were a good fit for Windward Way or another facility that people with more knowledgable than myself could help make informed decisions about.. I stand by that decision, but I also now see how making some sort of disclosure (which now exists) might have helped some of the critics and may have been more useful for the groups members. In hindsight, I would have made this more clear from the start, I just didn’t see the relevance, i never gave it a second thought. Then again, i’m the one who has the trust in this treatment center, and the people who run it. There is no reason for me not to disclose that, so that’s what i’ve changed as a result of the opposing article.

However, what I cannot own, is the claim brought by the recent story reporter on The Verge. I won’t own any accusation of “deceptive” marketing, because deception implies intent, and I never intended to mislead anyone. I made a mistake that was born out of my not anticipating a need that arose at Addiction Unscripted in the beginning and falling back on my knowledge and familiarity with a treatment center’s ethics. That was my mistake, and it came from a place of concern and compassion for people in our community. Never was it with the intention of misleading anyone.

What you have, essentially, is WW filling a gap in the current system that I was and am attempting to call attention to in my most recent HuffPo piece.

There is, currently, no universally accepted standard for treatment facilities, like there are with hospitals, that would allow someone like me to feel comfortable referring anyone to, so if people couldn’t qualify for Windward Way, I would try to find and vet a facility the best I could, or so would the other admins from Windward Way, taking pride in trying to always be the “last call” someone makes who is looking for treatment, wether at Windward Way or somewhere else that was better suited for this. But that’s why I felt comfortable referring to someone I knew personally, a remarkably small sample size, but at least one in which I could be confident in sending someone from our site or group.

It’s also important to point out that a minimum of 99 out of 100 people that we end up talking to on the phone or instant message, are either given best practices as to how to handle a crisis situation with a loved one in addiction, or referred to another program that can fit their needs when they can’t come out to Windward Way (due to a variety of variables). But treatment is such a small part of everything we do at Addiction Unscripted, and at the Facebook group I manage.

When the Facebook Group was born, there was no intention of marketing to begin with, I was actually just sickened of seeing all of the comments from parents that unfortunately had their children lost to overdose and were only able to comment on the AddictionUnscripted Facebook page. I decided they needed a community to interact with. My hypothesis for anyone in long term recovery, or any loved ones that have healthily dealt with these situations, is that two common denominators come to play: the need and acquisition of community and purpose. And that has always been the primary reason for the FB group “Affected by Addiction”.

Never was it with the intention of misleading anyone. In fact, we have helped tens of thousands of people as a result of Addiction Unscripted, the Facebook page and the Facebook group. I will never apologize for the life giving value that we have provided and the inherent altruistic value i have received as the primary mission of all three of those entities.

I remain excited when we are able to help someone reach Windward Way, because they are a truly special facility.

As for the writer of this story pointing out my conviction of wire fraud, that is actually the very first story i ever wrote about my addiction, a story that is from nearly a decade ago, that helped drive my passion for those in recovery. I have always been 100% transparent about this, having shared my 3 part article on this years ago, and having shared it multiple times on every platform from Addictionunscripted.com to the FB group. I gladly share it again, here is the link to my story of transformation; https://medium.com/addiction-unscripted/june-26-6am-location-us-mexican-border-e707fe72f876

Ultimately, Myself and AU, are really trying to fill a gap that shouldn’t exist. The fact that I can feel comfortable sending a member of the group to any facility in the country and be confident they wont end up dead due to neglect or incompetence is a real shame.. The fact that i have to turn to the one facility i have been able to personally vet, to assume professionals can then assume that liability is really the travesty here, and if this reporter really wanted to make a difference she would start there..

In my opinion this reporter doesn’t care about drug or alcohol treatment, she feels powerful because she thinks she made mighty Google afraid of her.. and thats what this is all about in my opinion.

Myself and the AU and FB group community should be privileged to have Windward Way as a part of this community. As many of you know, they have helped thousands of you learn proper coaching for enabling a loved one in recovery, have helped provide resources for those in need of al-anon or other helpful channels to obtain help along with their own personal experience dealing in the clinical realm of addiction and recovery.

Treatment is indeed one of the important stops in the journey map of someone that is in long term recovery. But it is by no means a necessity for everyone, which again has been mentioned in previous videos we’ve done on Facebook.

Community and purpose will always remain the main purpose of this for AU and this FB group. To provide a safe space for people to share about an all too often stigmatized condition, and to help provide connection and meaning through this group. It is my hope and my belief that most all of our active members (and admins) have experienced that because of these communities. And as i ALWAYS say, ultimately, it is because of them, our 300k+ members and followers, that help serve that sense of belonging and support that fuel that passion so obvious from anyone who reads the timeline in our private Facebook group or reads and writes the articles on AddictionUnscripted… thank you again to everyone who makes this community so incredibly life giving, and we will continue to combat stigma, as we embark on a new journey to actually make an impact on the treatment industry itself.

Much Love,

Matthew

“Do you want to know how a junky is lying? Their lips are moving.” In my experience this is beyond true. Heroin will take control of every action, every word, every function of your body, and every thought that crosses threw that addicted little mind.

Do you know what it feels like to kick heroin? Let me explain for those of you who have never experienced this disgusting illness. When heroin withdrawal sets in it starts off with a few sneezes, a few yawns, some cold sweats and chills over your entire body. Not so bad yet, right? Insomnia sets in, you could literally rip your skin off your body cause it so fucking uncomfortable to sit within your own skin that you start to punch your own legs. Oh yea, your legs start to hurt so bad that you ponder if you really need them to live the rest of your life anyways.

Soon you find yourself in the bathroom usually sitting on the toilet with a bucket in front of you because one little movement and you may bust out of both ends. Attractive right? Your entire body is in a panic because it’s literally in shock. At this moment you will sell your soul for just one more bag. You will slit the throat of anyone who tries to comfort you. You will rob, you will sell anything you can find, you will lay down with some old man who has just enough to spare to get you up to Newark to get a bundle.

The walls start closing in, most likely you feel like you are climbing them. Everyone you love means nothing at this point unless they are giving you some dope because that’s all that actually matters. Mentally you are insane, physically you are equal to a frail 80 year old woman with the flu, and spiritually you are completely dead because God doesn’t shoot dope into his veins. You scrape bags, you re soak cottons, anything you can break down and put into a needle will work but in the end nothing makes you feel better.

It’s a never ending cycle.

If you aren’t sick today, you will be tomorrow, there is no escaping this. If you sold all your belongings, you will manipulate, you will lie, you will beg, you will steal because who has time to be sick like this for days on end?

Anyone who has experienced, and preserved through this is my hero.

On heroin, my usual prayers are to just overdose and die because I know I do not have the will power to push through this withdrawal. Reality feels as if it’s easier to just be taken out, then deal with the physical and emotional torture.

Heroin lands you into psych wards, detoxes, rehabs, hospitals, jails and if you are lucky enough to be freed of the pain you are usually 6 feet under. I write all this not to get anyone jonesing for a shot, I write this to remind myself of what I never want to experience again.

The withdrawal may seem like it is never going to end but I promise there is always light at the end of every tunnel. There is always a glimmer of hope on the other side. You are the chosen few who survive this insidious disease. That’s only if you remember the struggle it was to get through that pain. In my experience the moment I forgot how disgusting of a life I used to live is the moment I find myself fantasizing about sticking that needle back in my arm. The more fantasizing I did with my drug of choice, the less I feed myself with the positivity of recovery.

I slowly crept back into active addiction. It didn’t happen quickly because this disease is so cunning and baffling it will make you think that having a beer is okay because it’s not heroin. A beer turns into a shot of whiskey, the whiskey turns into the Coke lines off the dingy toilet bowl in some dive bathroom, the Coke leads to a few Xanax because let’s face it, all coked up you will never sleep. The Xanax take away all the pain and then boom, you are reminded of how amazing putting that needle into your arm feels. The first time is always the best you know. It will never feel that good ever again. You will spend months and years chasing that first initial time. The cycle has begun yet again.

My hero is the one who stayed clean for today, my hero is the one who woke up in that psych ward and chose life. My hero is that one vigilantly going to meetings and sharing their experience, strength and hope on how they managed to get through one more day without the use of drugs. My hero is a felon. My hero may have robbed endless amounts of people. My hero used to sleep under a bridge in Paterson, NJ. My hero used to turn tricks for $20 to get just enough to not be sick anymore. My hero stayed clean for another 24 hours. My hero is a heroin addict.

Written in partnership with Tara Bowers at www.AddictionUnscripted.com

#Lacedupdressedown

My Hero Is A Heroin Addict was originally published in Addiction Unscripted on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Written in partnership with AddictionUnscripted.com by Alex McKendry

Over the past several years in the US, particularly following the 2014 election when Republicans gained a majority of the senate, a number of states have managed to pass legislation which forces mandated drug tests upon the recipients of federal aid, as a part of the screening process.

According to Sen. Craig Blair, R-Berkeley, who was the first to introduce such a bill back in 2009: “We all want to help those who can’t help themselves, but we don’t want to help those who don’t want to help themselves, and this puts a mechanism in place so they can get the help they need.”

Clearly, the unfair presumption here is that those who would use federal aid to purchase drugs “don’t want to help themselves.”

Not only does this practice constitute flagrant stereotyping of both drug users and the country’s poor, it also indicates an entirely antiquated understanding on the part of legislators of the motivating factors of illegal drug use. If that weren’t enough, these tests have even unequivocally failed to accomplish their stated purpose of identifying users.

THE STATISTICS

An excellent article by ThinkProgress from last year gave a rundown of the results so far. In almost all of the states where testing of welfare recipients has been carried out, the rate of positive drug tests has come in below one percent. The only outlier is Oklahoma, where the rate was 10 percent. This would seem significant, but since the national rate of illegal drug use among the general public is 10.2 percent, it is really a moot finding. And common sense dictates that among both the Oklahoman TANF recipients and the general populace, only a portion of those users would identify as having an actual drug abuse problem.

In the two states with the most widespread testing, Oklahoma and Missouri, the total costs of testing came to $385,872 and $336,297 respectively, with a combined total of only 345 failed tests since 2012.

Yet despite overwhelming evidence of the failure of these programs, they don’t seem to be going anywhere. Instead, they are increasing in number. According to National Conference of State Legislators website: “As of July 2015, at least 18 states have proposed legislation requiring some form of drug testing or screening for public assistance recipients this year.”

And these invasive tests may even be finding their way into federal aid programs, as well as state.

DRUG TESTING FOR FOOD STAMPS

Alabama Rep. Robert Aderholt, Chairman of the House subcommittee that oversees spending for the Agriculture Department, which administers SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), is pushing forward legislation which would allow for similar mandatory drug tests of food stamps recipients.

In the past, strict federal regulations set a precedent by disallowing Georgia from implementing such a system, but with support from within the Agriculture Department, the idea may very well gain traction.

If the legislation goes through, it will legitimize the controversial (and possibly illegal) drug testing of SNAP recipients that has already been put into practice in Wisconsin this last November by Sen. Scott Walker.

Rep. Aderholt said of the proposed SNAP drug tests: “This is a compassionate way to try and help these people who have issues, instead of turning the head.” But out of the $1.2 billion that Aderholt’s office claims the program will save, only half of that amount is due to be funneled back into drug treatment programs.

In fact, Aderholt himself has said that it is part of a larger Republican cost-cutting attempt at downsizing the federal food stamps program, directly following a 2013 bill which would have cut funding by five percent. That bill also tried to introduce drug testing for recipients.

AN UNNECESSARY BURDEN

Not only do these programs impose a burden upon those financially reliant upon government aid, but they are being enforced irrespective of whether there are sufficient or effective treatment options in the recipient’s area to accommodate them. Sen. Bill Laird, D-Fayette said of the West Virginia testing program recently approved by the local Senate: “I’m absolutely convinced, we do not have the treatment capacity at the local level that can provide the intervention, despite representations otherwise. […] I know communities that have no such resources.”

In fact in some states, the patient may be required to pay for the testing procedures, or even the mandatory treatment that may follow should they fail. In other states, treatment doesn’t even enter into the equation — federal aid is simply denied to any who either fail the test or refuse to take it.

The key takeaway about this type of legislation is that it is confrontational, imposes unnecessary burden upon those financially reliant upon government aid, and perpetuates an ignorance of modern, evidence-based beliefs about recovery practices. It draws useless and inaccurate correlations between poverty and illegal drug use, and at best would create more fodder for a largely outdated treatment system.

Instead of attempting to ineffectively weed out users, further stigmatizing drug abuse and introducing new stresses and invasions into users’ private lives, we should simply be making sure that appropriate counseling and treatment is made available and affordable to those who decide to pursue it. Above all, we should be respecting every person’s capability to make autonomous decisions about what does and does not constitute a problem.

Read more articles on addiction and recovery at AddictionUnscripted.com

THE IDIOCY OF DRUG TESTING WELFARE RECIPIENTS was originally published in Addiction Unscripted on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Hey everyone, first i’d like to thank our panel for attending:

Michael G. Santos from Earning Freedom

Paul Larkin from The Heritage Foundation

Seth Ferranti, Earning Freedom, among others

Dr. Stanton Peele, The Influence

And my name is Matt Mendoza from Addiction Unscripted

Almost everyone agrees that the “War on Drugs” has failed us. Over half of the inmates which make up our mass incarceration problem, are there for a non-violent drug related offense.

Evidence suggests that punitive repercussions do little to nothing to to help those with substance abuse disorders. There seems to be a a whole myriad of opinions on what the next step should be, but in the mean time, our nation’s pool of non-violent drug offenders are increasing at epidemic proportions.

Without Drug Reform, there is no chance at decreasing mass incarceration.

What can we do about this at the individual level? How about at the macro level?

Also — on your first response, please introduce yourself and your work!

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead