Published December 4. 2017

Hi! I’m new here, please excuse the typos and grammatical errors. It feels like being back in kindergarten again.

Or worse, the first day of high school.

My drama teacher, of all people, would say: Just Write. Never mind the look of the handwriting, the smudges made with the crook of your pinky finger, the long run on sentences.

Just. Write.

I’d forgotten what just writing feels like; allowing for a free thought, a transcribed word.

Just Write. But… No buts.

Recently, last week in fact, someone said: Just Write, you’re good at it. Be confident in you.

I blinked. Hard.

I lost my transcribed word somewhere along the way. That reminder of confidence — you still got it! — had…has…my fingers itching for a pen and notebook.

Just. Write. And I did. And I am.

Published December 5. 2017

Motherhood is a trip.

Where are all my Mommas at? Y’all know what I’m talking about. (Sorry, Dads. I’m not a Dad so I can’t speak to you like my Moms)

Motherhood is this weirdly amazing, slightly odd, time to wing it, type of “career.”

You are raising tiny humans.

Tiny humans who pronounce boogers as: BOO-gers and who speak their mind in the middle of Target.

My tiny human started kindergarten this year and it’s a whole new world for the both of us. She’s developing in all the ways and our conversations have began to turn from: What do you want for dinner? To: Can we make dinner together?

I mean, my heart just goes to pieces.

PSA :: St. Nick comes tonight. Did you forget?

Yeah, me too, until my tiny started reminding me two weeks ago.

Preparation is a full time job for her; what to write, making sure she spells everything right, what cookies to leave out, what card to send him as a thank you.

My heartstrings just fell apart, again.

She’s asking for a computer, a phone, a new pair of sunglasses, and a lion who’s cute and talks.

Speaking as someone who’s in with St. Nick; that’s a definite No to the computer and phone, sunglasses are a Yes, and the lion can be negotiated.

Which reminds me, St. Nick better find some candy canes to put her stocking.

Published December 7. 2017

“Momma! Am I smart?”

Of course, she asked when I was making tea and she was in the bath.

I found myself curled on the toilet (with my mug of tea) listening to her story behind her question.

“At school Jack said that I was dumb because I forgot Logan’s name and called him Jon’s name. So, I’m dumb now.”

Every mom bone in my body wanted to tell that little derp Jack to crawl back to where he came from.

Breathe, Momma.

“Baby, you aren’t dumb! Never dumb. You forgot Logan’s name, that’s it! Sometimes we make mistakes like forgetting our friend’s names. That’s part of being human. You, little lady, are very very smart.”

An hour later, I got a text. I made a mistake at work. An annoying could-have-been-avoided mistake. And as I’m ranting and raving and beating myself up over it…

“Oh, Momma. You’re human! You, little lady, are very very smart.”

Breathe, Momma.

Take a que from the kindergartner in the room.

Mistakes happen. You’re human — we are human — adjust the movement to be better and continue on.

Published December 11. 2017

I attended a Creative Mornings (Milwaukee Chapter) event earlier this fall with the theme of “Genius.”

Dasha Kelly, the amazing speaker, poet, and writer that she is, charged us with genius as a pattern of connecting dots. Not defined as IQ or test scores.

How liberating is that?!

What if, instead of being on point in all the ways at all the times, there are moments of rest and relaxation.

Moments to gather and to heal.

Moments to tend to others and to be well.

Moments that quietly fuel genius.

I’ve applied this concept of connecting throughout aspects of my life — not every minute has to be one that teaches something, every time slot does not have to be filled.

Writer’s Block has become moments that quietly fuel the future of my words.

Moments of strength become stronger and moments of trying hard become reflective.

I charge you with your dots and genius, just as Dasha Kelly did that Friday morning in the middle of a garden.

Rest. Gather. Be well.

Published December 13. 2017

The Me Too Movement was created by the stunning Tarana Burke; long before it went viral in these past few months.

My opinion: the Me Too Movement started something — inside of me to share my story outside of speaking, to put it in writing.

The thing about opinions is this: they are an opportunity to host dialogue about similarities and differences.

But opinions quickly become a hot bed for anger and thoughtlessness. We seem to forget our fellow humans when opinions get involved.

As humans entering into that space, we owe it to each other to come armed with respect.

Remain open to our Other.

Grasp onto new ideas or thoughts.

Design a safe place for everyone at the table.

Keep the table open for anyone who wants to join.

The Me Too Movement is just that, a movement. It flows and ebbs; as do opinions.

Allow for movement. Allow for opinions. It’s what makes us human.

Published December 18, 2017

This season has a been challenging; being five is tough, y’all.

My kindergartner got home from school today and said, “Oh! Momma, I signed your name today!” I said, what now?

She repeated herself extra slow.

“Where did you sign my name, child?!”

“On my behavior chart,” I have never seen her smile that hard ever, “you forgotted to sign it, so I did this morning whiles you were brushing your teeth!”

I had also never seen her as proud.

To her, she had helped me. She knew I was busy so she went ahead and took something off my plate.

To her, she was following our rule of “being kind, listening well, and helping others” but let’s be honest, girl just committed her first crime!

Her smile was innocent and pure and after our difficulties these past few weeks, I couldn’t correct her.

“Oh love, thank you for being a good helper. Let’s eat brownies and watch movies all night!”

It’s these windows of purity when I’m reminded that raising tiny humans is a balancing act.

Some seasons are busier, some are more challenging, some are easy going, some I work more, some I’m home more.

But the scales dip to the middle in moments like this; a reminder that motherhood — and life — is precious and good.

Published January 1, 2018

Cheers to 2018! I feel like 2017 just flew by, anyone else?

I’m doing #oneword2018 with a group from my tribe. I’ve done #oneword before, but I failed to follow up about it after the first few weeks.

I think the reason why is because I didn’t set goals that invested in my One Word. I’ve never been one for intentional goal setting until recently. 2018 seemed like a perfect time to look at where I’ve been and vision where I’m going in the future.

I actually have two words for this year — connect.breathe

“Connect” because I’m at the point in my life (and healing journey) to start building intentional connections with new people and maintain old friendships. It means putting myself and my story out there for the world to know — which is difficult and beautiful all at the same time.

“Breathe” because self-care and healthy boundaries are some of the most important areas of my life. There was a time when I was so lost that I forgot who I was.

But I’m back.

To breathe is my reminder that even in connections, there must be space for self-investment and grace.

What’s your One Word — or One Phrase — for 2018?

How do you intend to stay grounded in that?

Published January 2, 2018

Let’s chat about goals right quick:

Like I’ve said before, this whole new-year-goals thing is new to me.

I may or may not be going over my list of goals like, what have I done here?!

But, I’m excited. I’m about to crush this year.

My main goal for 2018 is to write a book, it overlaps with all areas of my life; which is why it’s my big goal.

It’s like the story about the rocks, pebbles, and sand. If you fill your bucket with the sand first, there isn’t any room for the rocks — the important parts.

My big goals are the rocks, the smaller goals are the pebbles, and my to-do’s are the sand. By filling the bucket in the order of (1) rocks (2) pebbles (3) sand, I’ll have my priorities and time management on lock.

Along with the big goal of writing a book, I have smaller goals (these are the pebbles) that surround and support the big goal. During certain times, the pebbles may become priority to work towards the main goal. You feel me?

See, that’s the beauty of the bucket, allows for wiggle room in the order (rocks, pebbles, sand) depending on the day, as long as yearly goals are set up in the order of rocks, pebbles, and sand.

How have you prioritized your goals for 2018?
Are your rocks, pebbles, and sand in order?

Published on January 4, 2018

When I’m speaking about human trafficking and exploitation, a common response is, How can I help?

The unspoken question is, How much time and effort will it take me to support this mission?

But that’s the thing, being an advocate is not suppose to consume you!

It’s designed to be a partnership among humans, a collaboration of creatures pushing for a desired outcome.

If there are five people consumed by social justice and cultural change, there are only five voices being heard.

If there are, let’s say, ten people who are working towards social justice and cultural change — by giving their networks the tools to become advocates as well — there is no telling where that conversation will end.

And who may hear those voices.

In order for justice and change to be impactful, the majority must be on board and must be working to create a larger majority.

I challenge you this: January is #humantraffickingawarenessmonth and I invite you to be part of the fight to end trafficking and exploitation by:

1. Gaining knowledge about the issue — not sure where to start? Check out the links at the end of this post.
2. Start a conversation with someone, a family member, a friend, a colleague, in line for groceries!

Speak up because that how change happens. Your voice is important.

More Resources

Exploit No More

Polaris

Shared Hope

Lacey’s Hope Project

Rebecca Bender Initiative