This post is similar to a personal note, not just for me but for all who are going to arrive in the 5th decade of their journey. One may assume that having touched the 50th mark, one would have accumulated enough life experiences that will help you navigate as you transition into the mid-century of one’s life. Some will have insights and navigate it well, some of us may not.

So you may hold this truth to be the Truth but in fact, it isn’t. Sorry to burst that balloon thought, It is far away from the Truth of Life.

When I turned 50 at the height of the Covid 19 pandemic (Sept 2020), I came to realize that even at 50, I was at a loss on my fiftieth birthday. I was hoping someone could give me some pointers so I have some direction to navigate my 5th decade better than the previous 4th decade. Turns out you are on your own, always. If you wondered whether your friends could provide insights on this, I have asked some of my very close bosom buddies, and they too are in the dark and clueless on how to navigate their path.

And just like that, Life throws you off a tangent. How would you survive the 50s? When I turned 50, I thought that it would be just a number and my life would pretty much be the same, My perception about being a 50-year-old man was:-

1. You are aging rapidly, and distinct wrinkles and lines forming over your forehead and on your eyes are getting visible. You realize your skin is not as supple as it was before. It seems its elasticity has been reduced.
2. The younger ones start addressing you as Uncle. In the Malaysian cultural context, the younger generation will address a man who is much older as ‘Uncle’, it is deemed as respect. (I have never felt so old in my life!)
3. Your physician will request you to go for health checks, twice a year, and additional blood tests are now required. You finally realize that your mortality rate is getting higher, ever steadily climbing, just like your health insurance where the premium is going northwards.

Despite being so afraid and doubtful over how to navigate and live my 50s, I decided to face it off with the heart and mind of a 20-year-old, That uncertain feeling transformed into curiosity and the desire to explore what it may be, to be living the best decade of my life.

They say you have arrived, at the age of 50, it didn't feel like I’ve arrived, it felt more like it’s been like that, all the time. If you are reading this, I advise you to remind yourself: vanquish your fears (it's okay, we are only human), embrace the change (Do not be afraid), and live in the moment (Be present and aware — at all times)

Welcome to the 50s… the year you became less of a drama queen, and more reserved, developing a preference to be a lone maverick and a desire to keep oneself at peace.

Here are a few things that we will do if you engage us on an ID project:

We will listen and look at the space before deciding anything

Clients who would like to transform an old space into something more updated or even want to maximize space usage or add a class of style and design finish – are likely to engage an ID. A site survey will be conducted by the ID consultant and client.

The walkthrough is crucial. There are some clients who are very visual and they can ‘see’ the outcome of their dream space. Then, there’s the other who would pick up ideas/ inspirations from Pinterest or other social media platforms with lots of ID-inspired photos/ images. We come in to see if the spaces can be transformed to the client’s vision, and work with the limitations set by the space and budget.

We listen to the dream and grasp the vision, with intellectual caution.

As designers, we would want to fulfill our clients’ dreams or visions for their dwellings. Or, achieve the design brief for commercial projects. I definitely am happier if the client also has grounded expectations on the matter and the budget set should be within the expectation as well. Too many times, I have come across some group of clients who set unrealistic briefs and neck-breaking budgets for their projects. We are here to help, with preliminary sketches for the space, and materiality selection for approval. Once these are completed, then it is the ID contractors to calculate the Bill of Quantities (BQ) for the cost, and adjustments can be made without sacrificing the intended design and style. We will also caution on materiality costs and quality. Of late, due to the pandemic and the rise of costs on all goods; expectations from clients must change. It is indeed challenging trying to keep every aspect in check.

There WILL be hidden (issues) costs, not yet discovered.

This is especially true for working with old properties/ spaces. Properties built in the early 20th century until the late 1980s will have their plans hand drawn by Architects and Draughtsmen and in hard copies. If these original documents are not kept well, the Project’s architect or interior designer will have a hard time guessing the structural works and what is contained inside the walls. As such, it is advisable to conduct a structural study to check the integrity of the structures, positions of service pipes, and ducting. If the study is not carried out, then the client needs to include an additional 20 to 40% more from the approved Budget for these ‘hidden’ costs. If the budget has included the study, then it will save time and money for all parties.

We will help you manage the project, for a fee.

Yes. We do project-manage, to ensure the brief’s requirement is executed well and the project runs like clockwork (well, some do; not all the time). Project deadlines are affected by a number of factors:

a. Changes in design/ material by either client or designer, will affect the timeline.

b. Circumstances beyond control: the recent Covid pandemic was a good lesson. Other examples: Natural catastrophes that are beyond human control e.g: earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, etc.

c. Logistic issues. This is a new phenomenon experienced by all of us in the industry. enough said.

d. Inflation. Enough said.

The fee is included in our proposal unless otherwise briefed by the client.

These points above are what we as professionals will provide in addition to making your space the dream space that you have always wanted. We want a conducive and fun experience with our clients. Designing is a fun process, it should be because it is about making possibilities of a vision turning it into a realistic and tangible outcome, come true.

This quote has been traversing the internet. I have seen it on TikTok, Instagram Stories, and other social media platforms. It sounds most logical and almost so easy to quote it to others. Yet, are we walking the talk as how Aristotle did it when he quoted the above, centuries ago?

We all can quote, or misquote many things, and sometimes we may forget about them. Are we a living example of what we quote? During the pandemic lockdown, in addition to reflecting and resetting my life, I’ve also taken up running. Yes. I am a covid runner. I’m not afraid to admit this.

I took the lockdown year with much agony. I didn’t like the feeling at all. I was always a restless soul and I would often get out and do something. The lockdown allowed me to focus on running as there was practically nothing to do. Work halted until the Government made transitional measures, One could only venture out to buy essential supplies or goods. Running was my outlet for release as a result of being pent up at home. It was a great opportunity to run the empty streets. The air was fresher, no cars in sight, what more other humans plying about.

It started with light jogs around the neighborhood and slowly, but surely, my momentum increased to running at an easy pace.

I took running seriously when I was given a challenge, to run for a charity organization that provides soup kitchen services to the homeless and needy. I thought this was a good challenge. The challenge was to run a virtual 5-kilometer run spread out over 3 days.

I felt, exhilarated and accomplished after doing this. This was when I began taking running more seriously. My weekly mileage slowly increased and in two months, I was doing five runs weekly. I set a running goal and it was a virtual 5-kilometer run in an esteemed local running event. I began training to be better at my pace, speed, and stamina. I became more involved with running as I discovered it was my meditation tool, a session where I can be free and indulge in fresh air, sun, and freedom.

I’ve caught the runner’s high, as veteran runners put it. My training became more vigorous, and by the time the virtual race date came, I gave my best. Suffice it to say: I was very surprised by my result. I never thought I could complete this run in under half an hour. The last time I ran with this time was in secondary school, on the annual sports day event.

Aristotle knew it along. Being consistent in what we do, is the key to making ourselves better and better. It becomes a habit. It took me a pandemic to realize this, and what a shift it has done to my life now. What ever you do, make it a routine. I have this mantra that I say to myself every morning when I wake up –

‘Every day, in every way, I get better and better’.

I agree that we take what Life throws to us and make the best out of it, in all situations. We all face this daily. There are days when I feel I’m a Marvel superhero, I can take whatever is thrown at me, and made it into a positive or productive outcome. Then, there’s also that one day where I felt so overwhelmed with it that I felt like hiding in a cave and letting things sort out on their own.

We all want to be the best version of ourselves, daily and in any given situation. The truth is, we need to realize we are also human. There are days I am very annoyed at myself because I felt I was letting myself and the many that looked up to me, professionally or personally, down when I am unable to give my best. I’ve had my share of anxiety and panic attacks (mostly attributed to work and family matters), I even took it personally and it had wreck havoc on my health and personal life. I got depressed and helpless, unable to get out of that ‘rut’. I’ll share with you something which I believed successful people do in order to pick themselves up and take back control over these moments.

It’s nothing secretive or esoteric about it. In the midst of the crisis, we often forget this method because we are too preoccupied with the issue and become a blind spot. Here’s my checklist to put everything back, constructively.

The Checklist

Stop!

We need to stop completely. It can an hour’s break or take half the day off! Dwelling upon the issue may not be the best way to find a solution. In my design work, there are a few instances where I would just stop working, and give myself some me time.

Choose your battle(s)

You do have a choice. We always do. You choose how to react to the situation or what Life has thrown at you. The battles that are beyond you, don’t take it up. It’s OKAY. If the issue is not in your scope, then be professional and make it known that you need assistance to tackle the matter.

Compartmentalize and segmentize it

Dissect the issue into timelines and deliverables Put reminders on your to-do list related to projects, then inhale and exhale for a while. Garmin’s breathing exercises are the best! It has a haptic sensor that will guide you on your breathing. a 15 min breathing exercise will calm your nerves and bring your heart rate back to a relaxed pace. You may or may not proceed to resolve the issue(s) after the breathing exercise. I won’t go back to the issue immediately, I’d give time to myself so I can be in that ‘zone’ and then I’ll head back and deep dive to resolve the issues.

A gentle reminder to one-self

Being a near perfectionist, I used to shoulder so many responsibilities and make promises and it made my professional life miserable, compromised my mental health, and impacted my private life. It was from a wise old man whom I met while I was holidaying in Phuket Island that I’ve learned about CONTROL in one’s life. His words of wisdom:

‘Take what you are able to, and make use of what you have’

Had to stay away from Soc-Med for a while after the Chinese Lunar New Year as the current situation with the pandemic becoming endemic and was planning to make sure I get to enjoy both work and personal life as much as I can for 2022.

While planning for the 3rd quarter and 4th quarter, I had some time to reflect on the last 2 years, how my life was with the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, the various lockdowns, and restrictions, and how it impacted my life.

I also had some time to meet some close friends, face to face over lunches, dinner and we caught up with each other where we left of… I am so glad we don’t have to zoom or use video conferencing calls. With the option of not wearing a mask outdoors, that was a very unnerving change of habit! 2 years of masking, and now we could take it off and walk about freely — outdoors sans KF94, N95, and surgical 4 ply masks!

Through our conversations over good food and wine, I realized that we all are a work in progress for the life we are having. Some revealed that they have now gotten used to set out short-term goals (that are aligned to their long-term goals), this makes their life purposeful.

Some were not ready to embrace the new normal — changes during a pandemic and now entering the endemic, I heard complaints and disgruntled views of the current affairs based on their perspective. I do have one or 2 BFFs — they were all set and determined to achieve their lifetime goals and get those milestones so they can finally add to their Facebook profile.

I try to pick up insights and take always from our conversations.

A common insight that I know everyone here can acknowledge is:

How do I adapt to the new normal and future? A lot of us are concerned with the possibility of ‘New variants’ of the existing Covid-19 virus. Some are quite worked up and have a few sets of the to-do list(s), plans, and strategies ready to be in place should the inevitable happens.

Some opined to go with the flow but be ready to accept and embrace the new challenges. One or two would be complaining incessantly and demanded things be restored back to the old world order. (I doubt they’d get their wish, Change is a natural process, and Resistance is futile)

How would you ‘Work In Progress’ your life? How would you design it? There’s always a phase called ‘Design Development’, this is where Designers would bring out the initial IDEA and start to develop it further, into a few variations and schematics, to see how the outcome will turn out.

Do you treat your life as a Design Development or W.I.P? As a designer, I often would treat Design Development as a natural process of fine-tuning and improvisation stage until the client is happy with the finalized details and signed the approved drawing.

Do we then, also use this perspective and try to ‘design and develop’ our life as we grow, discover, and let go?

How do we define that the design development is good and complete?

When is it the moment when you can approve the design and finalize it?

I like to think that this Work In Progress journey we all walk is a never-ending learning process. In this W.I.P, we meet teachers, some will give us life lessons and provide us answers on overcoming challenges, and some teachers will come and make our lessons so interesting that it's unforgettable. Unique experiences. Those who come to teach us about Hurt, Anger, guide us to be patient, be more aware, and know our strengths and weaknesses.

I know I want to design mine where I take full advantage of living it, find my purpose, and leave an unforgettable legacy for the future.

Find your design and let your life be your own W.I.P journey.

Make it a great presentation.

When people you know are successful, or on the roll and achieving their goals, dreams; you start wondering if you could also be a part of that. You are in awe by their magnanimous track record of success stories and felt deeply inspired to be better, work smarter, do more, etc. Many attempts later, you learned it's about changing oneself, internally. How do you start to be in the ‘flow’ with that source of abundance, Universe, or that dimension where the ‘Juice’ flows?

This is about synchronizing your mind to align with the Universe. I came across this when I was studying Qi Men Dun Jia (QMDJ), the ancient Chinese art of divination in the world of Chinese Metaphysics. Mainly used in strategy and warfare, QMDJ is an art — part science, part esoteric philosophical shit that works impressively regardless of which faith, spirituality, and belief you subscribe to. The word ‘Equilibrium’ is often used in QMDJ. The core principle is — You are the creator, you create energy and there is an energy exchange. The universe is a big source of energy, ever-present, abundant and unlimited. It is impartial, it does not judge. It is the ‘Tao’. Since we are a part of that energy, how can you benefit from this boundless infinite storage of abundance?

EUREKA moment!

Synchronize and move to align yourself with it! Simple? yes. Doing it? Not as simple as said. Remember that you are a part of the Universe. We all know the infinite minute bacterias that dwell in our bodies and other organisms that help to make our body work well and in sync. It is because they are in sync with the Universe. Why do great teachers, sages, and gurus of the past always remind us to ‘reflect’ within in order to ‘align’ with the external ‘Universe’? It is when you are aligned ‘internally’, you then can connect and align with the external ‘Universe’. The principle is simple. Match your inner with outer.

Yin-Yang in harmony. When you get this ‘Eureka’ moment, the next step is how to create that momentum? I started it with a simple — ‘Contract’. You might wonder how can this work? This contract is your covenant, with your own self and the Universe. Do you want to change? Make that contract! Start by addressing what you need in order to change yourself. Look within, the tools of change are embedded in each and every one of us. Find out what you need to cross over to abundance, and receive that boundless energy.

Creating the ‘LIST’

Create a contract. Make it:-
1. Achievable
2. Tangible
3. Within a timeframe that you can manage

List down at least 3 things that you want to see yourself change in the near future. It could be improving yourself, increasing your wealth (or learning to manage your wealth assets), have more time for yourself and those dear to you. This list is what you want the Universe to respond back. In that list, you need to give back: And by giving back, this is what you are willing to do or let go in order to get what you want from the Universe. This is what we call: the Energy Exchange. This is the most important step to synchronize or align with the Universe and with your own self. The energy exchange can come in all kinds of forms; If you want abundance, be generous in your time or material things. Give time to people, guide others, be a mentor. If you want to be better or, increase your value; upgrade your skills or learn a new one. If you want to be healthy and fit, time to stop procrastinating and go for walks, eat a proper diet, and research more on what sources of food are good for your body.

Seal the deal and get ready to work!

Once you are ready, then it's the next step, the challenging part of — Committing it and making it your daily grind. Every day, you need to take that contract out and remind yourself. Use the tools available, a plethora of productivity apps you can use on your smartphone, tablet, or PC. I use paper, a pen, pencils and colored markers. Put this contract in your diary, journal. Stick to it. As I’ve said before, the Universe is impartial. it is neither compassionate nor harsh. The term — No Pain No Gain is very apt. Keep on doing the things listed in your energy exchange.

You see yourself change!

Give yourself 30, 60, or a 90-day challenge for this contract. Stick to it and be firm. No more excuses and you’ll soon see small miracles of change happening to you. That’s what I have experienced in my journey to seek equilibrium and synchronize with the Universe. You will have that synchronicity and it will be like clockwork. The hardest part of the contract is to remain consistent and diligent.

Are you ready to sync with the Universe? There is no better time than now after reading this.

No. I’m not telling you to ‘Run’ away from your issues. What I am elucidating is, running helps to keep your mind focus and declutter quickly. In fact, any kind of physical activity that, requires you to be focused on your breathing, helps you to declutter your mind, *Spark joy* and allow you to be at the present moment, there and then.

Why does keeping oneself in the ‘moment’ is important to declutter, reorganize and find clarity in one’s existence? It’s simply to make you aware of your own presence and, that you are very much alive. This modern lifestyle has made us better at what we do, at the same time, we are MOST disconnected from ourselves and others. We live in our own bubbles and with this pandemic, we have no choice but to minimize our social interactions with others to stay safe. We can choose virtual meet-ups, text, video calls, and use another wonderful modern tech to connect us, but nothing beats the purity and joy of a face-to-face conversation with a good hug or pat on the shoulder.

Which comes to the topic of running, Whenever I take the road with my two flat feet, I am going into my meditative state. That state where I think of nothing but just observing and noting my breaths. From that point of focus, I will be aware of the breaths I inhale and exhale, I am aware of the sights and sounds surrounding me via my visual and aural tool. I am aware of the tactile senses when the wind blows past me. Aware I am, but I do not attach to those feelings. I let it go as it comes. This is me at my own Moment at that time.

What can this awareness exercise do for you one may ask? Well, plenty of benefits! For one, I declutter my mind. I clear all those convoluted thoughts I have had with me since 5 am. I release dead air from my lungs as I breathe hard to pump my blood through my heart and keep pace. I become one with my body as it goes into a state of a trance that keeps my pace and breath in sync. I release myself from my fear, doubts, worry, angst, anxiety and other negative emotions absorbed last night. You feel better, sleep better, alive, and most important of all: You are one with the Universe.

If you are a Buddhist or practicing some kind of meditation, you will know this is Samatha (Calming Meditation). A fundamental and simple practice in meditation focusing on mindfulness of breathing. This keeps you young and supple in body, mind, and spirit. I became healthier and more aware of my body, thereby leveraging on its potential and keeping it well oiled so it can handle the stress of this life.

Try it. You don’t have to be a fast runner or experienced marathoner to appreciate running.

Run for fun, Run for better focus, Run to rejuvenate your soul…