COVID-19 really did hit us unprepared, and it seems like this pandemic is going to take some time. While keeping ourselves safe from this contagious virus as advised by the WHO and our local health officials, I would like to point out the psychological and mental aspects that could affect us even before the virus reaches. As Franklin D. Roosevelt put it:

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

When fear and panic arise in the atmosphere, it is hard to keep our minds together and do the right thing for ourselves and the people around us. We can take more damage from the fear of the virus than the virus itself. The raid at grocery stores, especially for toilet papers, clearly illustrated this.

“A person who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.” — Seneca

Fear does not help. In this difficult time, keeping our heads together and play our role as a family member, an employee/employer, and a member of society is important. The approach we should take is to keep ourselves calm, and channel our energy and focus on our roles. Here are 3 philosophical tactics I have been using, hoping they can be useful for you in this situation as well.

1. Embrace Reality

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Amor Fati is a Latin word for “The Love of Fate”. It means whatever life throws at you, you embrace it wholeheartedly. The situation cannot be changed if we keep ignoring facts and reality. Knowing them is not enough, but to truly accept it and live accordingly in this given circumstance.

During this situation, most of us have to deal with the changes in how we usually operate on a day-to-day basis, like working or studying from home, having less time outdoor, not being able to eat in our favorite restaurants, or socially distancing ourselves from our friends. It sounds miserable, but you are not alone in this. Instead of seeing it as a pain, see it as a challenge to experience a different lifestyle. Tackle it with the approach of “living out of your comfort zone”. Who knows? Maybe by overcoming this life’s circumstances, you learn how to be more hygienic, eat healthier, be productive while working remotely and on.

“The blazing fire makes flames and brightness out of everything thrown into it.” — Marcus Aurelius

This involves not focusing on the problems that are not in the sphere of your control, and just be cool with them. Complaining, pointing fingers, and blaming somebody does not help. Instead, it just bottles up negative energy and makes it harder for you to be optimistic and rational— most importantly, be focused and productive in our work.

2. Focus On The Things Under Your Control

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions.” — Epictetus

There are updates on the Coronvirus in every few hours. We are fed with one information to the other endlessly. In this context, it is crucial to rewire our perception to define what is under our control and what is not in our control. Keeping our eyes on the live dashboard of the positive cases every day does not make the number go lower or the vaccine to come sooner.

As citizens, we do not control whether the cases will increase, or there is one popped up in your apartment building (like in my case). We do not control the number of deaths. We do not control whether our local governments act in the best possible way. We do not control the economy. These are just to name a few.

What we control? To take action according to the professional advice given to you like practicing hygiene, social distancing and on. We are in control of how we perform in our job or study, even if it’s done remotely. We are in control of quarantine ourselves or seek medical attention if we catch ourselves having the virus, instead of spreading it further. We are in control to give our friends a call if we ever need it. We are in control of the caring we give to our family and friends in this hard time.

“You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” — Viktor Frankl

None of us would choose this situation, of course. However, this is the circumstance that we have to live in. At least for now, we may have to live by the rules. Just remember, no matter how hard it may get, there are always things within our control — our actions and choices.

The more time we waste focusing on the things out of control, the less time we have on doing the things we have control over.

3. Read Less News or None At All

“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do.” — Marcus Aurelius

As a person born in the 90s, this is not the first epidemic that I experienced in a lifetime so far. Yet, it is harder for me to process. Putting external contexts aside, unlike the time of SARS and H1N1, this time I have access to social media and the internet which work like all-you-can-read within the size of my palm, and it is the first time I have to deal with the situation as a grown-up who has to make crucial decisions for myself.

We live in a time that is very abundant of information but lacks clarity and truth. Media companies are incentivized through the number of clicks for each article, so it is expected that write something catchy, but not necessarily reliable or helpful. Every day we are blasted with bad news because psychologically we find ourselves attracted to them because of our “Lizard Brain” which is responsible for fear.

Stop reading news is actually a good strategy to maintain our productivity. As Mark Manson mentioned in Why You Should Quit The News, if you are going to read the news, pay for it — like reading from The Economists who are incentivized by producing high quality and reliable research and content. If not, better off not reading it at all. Reading books written years ago could actually be more informed of the situation today. Some of my favorites are Sapiens, Homo Deus, and Factfulness.

“To bear in mind constantly that all of this has happened before. And will happen again — the same plot from beginning to end, the identical staging. Produce them in your mind, as you know them from experience or from history: the court of Hadrian, of Antonius. The courts of Philip, Alexander, Croesus. All just the same. Only the people are different.” — Marcus Aurelius

Reading old news also helps to calm your perception of the world right now, because you have been through those. Here are a few in this context:

• Swine flu ‘could kill millions unless rich nations give £900m’ by The Guardian in 2009
• U.S. Declares Public Health Emergency Over Swine Flu by The New York Times in 2009
• Finally, Good News About SARS by The New York Times in 2003

“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius

Admittedly, this is a hard time for us all, but do not let fear get the best of us. This is not the first time of an epidemic nor the hardest thing we faced in human history. This too shall pass.

The most important thing we all can do now is to keep both our mind and body healthy so that this situation is not prolonged further than it should. Please take care and be safe! Keep calm, and still be amazing in whatever you’re doing.

In this peaceful time of humanity, we have so many years longer in the average life expectancy in comparison to the people who were in one century before us. Not to mention, longevity is a hot topic for many companies, startups, and scientists nowadays. We could live even longer, but there is no guarantee that we could live forever — at least at this point.

Death sounds miserable and scary only if we look at it wrong. If we do it right, it is a powerful motivation to live life with a sense of fulfillment and purpose. To die well means to live well.

“That man lives badly who does not know how to die well.” — Seneca

Familiar with the story of the prince who was not allowed to see people getting sick, being old and dying? After seeing these at his very own eyes, he sought the truth of life, found his enlightenment years afterward, and became the Buddha we know today.

Back in the ancient time of the Roman Empire, there is this Latin word called “Memento Mori”, which means “Remember you will die”. As a tradition, before hitting out for wars, the commanders would say these words to their soldiers, or legions, to remind them what could come ahead of them, to cherish the present moment, and to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

“For it is not death or pain that is to be feared, but the fear of pain or death.” — Epictetus

Here are 5 life-changing lessons I have learned from applying this philosophy, Memento Mori, in my life:

1. Clarity on What’s Important in Our Lives

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” — Marcus Aurelius

There is this intriguing question, “What would you do if this is the last day in your life?” To some of us, it would be to spend the moment with family, to confess love to a person, to share our learnings and important message, to leave a meaningful legacy, to forgive or to seek forgiveness, and on.

Another question is, “Why are we not doing it now?” If they are that important, why are we doing them only if knowing it is the last day of our life?

How naive are we to think that we have unlimited time? Death could come at any moment without any prior notice. And, we may not have time to do those.

The path to living a fulfilled life starts with living every single day as it is the last day. This let us clarify our values, spend our time wisely, and put the most important things first.

2. A Sense Deadline

“Life is long if you know how to use it.” — Seneca

Tim Urban’s “Inside the mind of a master procrastinator” has been one of my favorite TedTalk. We would still procrastinate at important projects or assignments. The way to combat that is to have a strict deadline. That is also why many great writers and artists in history had real skulls on that their tables to remind them of that.

Death is a tool we can use to remind ourselves that we have a deadline in everything that we do. If I am immortal, I would wait for other hundreds of years to apply for my dream job.

Peter Thiel has this very powerful question, “What might you do to accomplish your 10-year goals in the next 6 months, if you had a gun against your head?”

The fact that life has an end gives us the urgency to pursue our goals and dreams. It pushes and challenges us for the better. Stop procrastinating, and start acting on it!

3. It Is Never Too Late to Do Things Differently

“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.” — Marcus Aurelius

We go through our lives doing and saying things we regret only to wake up the next day and be the same persons all over again. It is like repetitively pressing the life-is-sucked button each morning.

Why waiting for the next life for redemption? Why waiting for next year for a resolution?

Every day is a new beginning. Each morning as we wake up, we are given another chance to do things differently. This is the opportunity to demand the best of ourselves and be a better version of ourselves.

4. Live The Present Moment

“I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived — and dying I will tend to later.” — Epictetus

How much time do we spend each day grieving over the past, and living in the fear of the future? When that happens, we lose the time to concentrating on the people and things in front of us.

The past is not in our control to change. The future is defined by how we live now. The present is the only time we live in, and it is where we have direct control over.

Time is not money; that is not the right equation. If we lost money, we can earn it back. If we lose time, it disappears forever. Our time is finite. Do not let our thoughts and actions drifted unconsciously worrying about the things that are not in our control. Every tick of the clock, we lose a second.

Life is happening at this moment. Cherish it, and do not waste it.

5. Be Present With The People Around Us

“When giving your child or wife a kiss, repeat to yourself, ‘I am kissing a mortal.’” — Epictetus

This may sound very dark, but it is true. Death does not fall upon us alone, but every single person — even the people we truly care about. We will never know when the moment comes.

Yet, what we usually do? Chatting with friends online instead of talking to the ones right in front of us. Passing our smartphones to our kids so they stop bothering us. Exercising anger and aggression to those around us.

When death hits the door, we feel regret for not being able to spend enough quality time, and to express enough kindness and gratitude to those important to us.

Treat people as it is this is either your or their last days. Be genuine and authentic, because we may not have another chance.

“Objective judgement, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance — now, at this very moment — of all external events. That’s all you need.” — Marcus Aurelius

We all have a sand clock that is invisible to us all. Life is unpredictable. When the Death God calls us, “Yes” is the only answer that we can give. We may not have a choice whether to die or not, but we can choose how to die by learning how to live well.

The idea of death is there not to scare us. It is there as a reminder to live a life that is worth living. Because of it, we can create meaning in our life.

“I would rather live a short life of glory than a long one of obscurity.” — Alexander The Great

Egypt worshiped him and believed that he was a descendant from God, and even named a city after him, Alexandria, which has been called until today. If this man did not die so early, what kind of unimaginable accomplishments that he could have?

This story has inspired many people, and today we still learn about it in our history books in school — even a Cambodian kid like me got to know this name, Alexander The Great, since my early childhood.

Just recently, I got to learn another side of the story which allowed me to see history from a different angle — in a philosophical approach.

As being the most powerful person at that point of time, Alexander would challenge anyone. There was a time that he heard Diogenes the Cynic, a famous Cynic philosopher, and he journeyed to see this person.

Who was Diogenes, and what was special about this guy that sparked interest from Alexander? He was an exile who lost all his possessions, turned himself to philosophy, and became the face of Cynicism.

Before I continue, let me clarify for a bit. A “Cynic” and a “cynic” is not the same. In modern-day, we use the word “cynic” to describe a naysayer, a hater or a selfish person. A definition of a word can be changed drastically through time. When we talk about a “Cynic” in this sense, it is referred to as a student an ancient Greek school of philosophy who lives life with virtues in accordance with nature.

Diogenes did not own a house as it seemed unnatural for him to have one. Casually he would walk around naked without fear of what people would say or think. Everything was about aligning his own virtue with nature.

Here came the challenge. Alexander The Great, the man who had everything, faced with Diogenes The Cynic, the man who possessed almost nothing. I am going to phrase the dialogue in my own wording and in a quick summary.

Alexander: What do you want? I can give you anything, even a piece of land for you to conquer.
Diogenes: Okay, can you just move a bit? You are blocking my sunlight.
A Soldier: Hey, old man! Be careful. You are talking to the man who conquered the world! What have you done in your life?
Diogenes: I conquered my desire to conquer the world.

Hold on right there. What a badass is this? Who in the world would say this in front of the most powerful person on earth? I would phrase it again!

“I conquered my desire to conquer the world”

From that day, Diogenes was known to be the only person who made a fool of Alexander and was left alive. Alexander walked away without realizing the size of this wisdom. He went on and fought more wars at the costs of more lives, and even killed his own best men while he was drunk. For what? An immense Empire that was broken right after he died because of the succession wars?

World domination, colonization, and conquests — those have been the desires of many men and women in history. To be at the top of the world. It is natural that human has the tendency to lean toward power, fame and wealth. Those unwatched temptations to be the cool kids, in many cases, can lead us to do things some crazy stuffs out of betrayal, dishonesty, selfishness, and you name it.

“You cannot solve internal problems with external accomplishments.” — Ryan Holiday

A person who conquers the world can also be the same person who is a slave to his greed and desire, so stop doing things to seek validation and to show that we are special. Power comes from within, so we ought to look inward and take control of our mind and spirit. The world is conquered the moment you conquer yourself.

One of human’s instincts is re-production — to pass on our genes for the survival of our species. As the invention of writing came in, we took a step further by passing on our information and stories in the forms of books, letters and carving from one generation to another.

Since then, reading has become a timeless method to rapidly grow ourselves. Each book could take us to live and understand the wisdom or research of a writer which could take him or her decades or even a lifetime to figure out, and we could do that in about 6–8 hours reading. It can be something entertaining, and also something mind-blowing. Not only that reading can add more life to our years, but also more years to our life.

In the 21st century, we live and breathe data and information. To that luck, we have a luxury of time and abundance to have reading as a day-to-day activity. Firstly, in the old time, not only books were expensive, but they were also hard to find. You would need to find someone who had that book, and borrow them to make a copy through handwriting. Only after, thanks to publication and digitalization, we can now buy books so much cheaper and with just a few clicks. Secondly, we get to live almost twice longer than the people who lived in the 19th century.

Time and money are not an excuse anymore. Not to mention, we are living in the rise of a new industrial age with the involvement of A.I. and Robotics. If we do not learn or disrupt ourselves fast enough, we can be obsolete.

(I wrote an article about Debunking My Own Myths As A Non-Reader, in case you want to check it out)

Okay, let’s go on with it. But, where to start?

I am just going to borrow Simon Sinek’s concept of the Golden Circle to structure this.

A. CLARITY OF WHY

1. Start With Why

Fairly enough, that was the title of Simon’s book as well. You can also check out his TedTalk video, which has been one of its most watched on Youtube of all time.

Before rushing into a bookstore to pick out a book, ask yourself first. “Why do I want to read?”. If you are your own customer, and you are trying to sell the idea of reading, then you may need to convince yourself with a clear why that inspires you to take action.

“People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it.” — Simon Sinek

In 2017, I was intellectually exhausted as I was a high-level executive team in an organization. As I wanted to gain more ideas and step out of the bubble of my physical experience, I started to read. The clarity for me was simple. I wanted to be a better team leader. It began there, and the clarity expanded even further as time went by.

So why you want to read? To be a loving parent? To be a caring lover? To be a quick learner? To specialize in an area? To master a craft? Or simply to explore new interests? It can be anything. Just ask yourself why, and listen to your heartbeat. Your why is the most important thing to start with, not a list of book recommendations and some cheeky reading tips.

2. Don’t Set A Habit Goal. Set An Identity.

Hold on right there. Don’t go straight to setting the number of books you want to read this year. First, understand that we did this before — setting a goal or a habit and not following it.

Why some habits stick and some don’t? Based on James Clear, the author of Atomic Habit, the key to creating lasting habits is to focus on creating an identity.

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.” — James Clear

As you already have your Why, then reflect and visualize it further in your identity. How does it look like? Do not just be a person who read 20 books a year, but be a reader. You can even go even more specific, like being a scientist, a scholar, a researcher, a writer and on.

B. DISCIPLINE OF HOW

3. Putting Ego Aside

Knowing is the enemy of learning. If we think that we already know the subject, there is no way we can learn anything new. We always need to empty our glasses and be humble of what what we went through. I read because I want to know more things, but ironically, the more I read the more I feel I do not know.

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows” — Epictetus

Differentiate between knowledge and shallow knowing. They are not the same. No matter how far you progress, always keep a beginner’s mind.

4. Create A Setting

This is another trick to make our habit sticks. A setting that involves multiple sensations in your body actually helps to trigger a certain habit. Not just blocking the time off our calendar, but think of where you want to read, what you will hear, and what will you smell?

“Motivation is Overvalued. Environment Often Matters More.” — James Clear

The environment I have for myself is being in a living room with classical music. The moment I lay on my sofa and classical music goes on, that’s when I know it’s time to read. And here’s another tip, Baroque classical music is probably your best bud when it comes to learning enhancement.

Think of your own setting. When and what does it look like? What are the objects you will have around you? Will you keep your smart phone near you while you read? Does sitting in front of a TV helps? Would reading in the morning at the park work for you? It’s yours to decide, but be as specific as possible.

5. Read Faster And Smarter

There are countless books out, and we are never going to read all of them even we fully commit to doing it in a lifetime. As you invest more time into this activity, you may also want to look at how you can do it faster and smarter.

“If knowledge is power, learning is your superpower.” — Jim Kwik

Here are the two common tricks used by Tim Ferris, Jim Kwik and even the world’s fastest reader, Howard Stephen Berg.

Tip 1: Have a visual pacer. This means using our finger or a pen to pace along the page. In the early day in school, our teacher would hit our hand to do so as it seems someone who cannot read. However, it is not true. Using a visual pacer can improve our reading speed by 25% or more, and improve the focus.

Tip 2: Use your peripheral vision. You do not have to read from one end of the page to another. Imagine that you only have to read about 80% of the book at the center. You can still see the edge of the page even if you do not look straight to it. Not only it makes your reading 20% faster, but also you do not have to do it with the sacrifice of the comprehension.

If you want to learn other useful techniques that you can put into your arsenal, I suggest to check out Jim Kwik’s free podcast Kwik Brain.

6. Don’t Just Expand, But Dive Deep

While it is cool to have a variety of knowledge and ideas on different topics, it is even cooler to have a mastery of one certain thing. Do not be a jack of all trades.

“What’s the point of having countless books and libraries, whose titles could hardly be read through in a lifetime. The learner is not taught, but burdened by the sheer volume, and it’s better to plant the seer volume, and it’s better to plant the seeds of a few authors than to be scattered about by many.” — Seneca

Reading on a wider range is good for the exploration stage where you want to find your passion and interest. The moment you know what you are looking for, whether a topic or an author, dive deeper into it. Read everything this person wrote. Read anything related to that specific area you want to specialize at.

7. Re-Read And Re-Read

While there is a lot to read, why bother re-reading at all? The idea of re-reading a book is totally underrated.

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” — Marcus Aurelius

The realization and feeling are not the same when reading the same book when you were in high school and when you just got married. An old book can open up new perspectives and realizations that we did not have before the first time we read it.

Once you find the book that lit you up, read that book at least once a year.

8. Embody What You Learn

We cannot just jump into the river confidently just because we read a few hundreds of books on how to swim. Real knowledge does not end with just reading alone. It involves practice day-to-day.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” — Epictetus

As you read and find new ideas, think of how you implement it in your life. As you practice, the things you learn truly become a part of you.

C. CONSISTENCY OF WHAT

9. Spend More Time Around Books

To find what to read, what you can do is as easy as going to a library or a bookstore. Just walk around and see if there is anything that sparks your interest. It is also free to grab a piece to read on spot to see if the book is for you.

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” ―Marcus Tullius Cicero

Digitally, I like to surround myself with a reading community. I am quite an active user at Goodreads. In there I can see what my friends are reading, and I can easily establish a to-read list.

10. Ask People What They Read

You can always just ask people directly, “What is that one book that changed your life?” It can be to your friends, advisers, mentors, coaches, managers, professors, expert or anyone inspires us.

“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can always choose whether to follow the recommendation as you can check the content afterward whether it is worth your time.

If you are not a reader, and you are reading this far, this is already a good step!

“In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.” — Yuval Noah Harari

Both you and I can read. That was one of the foundational skills we learned in school, yet it is also one of the most underused skills we have. In this rapidly changing world with an endless flow of information, this skill matters, even more, to have better knowledge and clarity of the world today and tomorrow.

I hope some of these tips can be useful for you to either start or change the way you read.

Reading was a very hard thing to start, especially when I had a whole bunch of excuses at my back. As time went by, I became a reader, and these are some of my realizations toward my top 3 excuses:

Myth 1: I Can Just Read A Summary

Before I got myself into reading, I used to subscribe to book-summary service with my mobile application which I could finish a book in 20 minutes. As soon as I developed a habit of reading an actual book, I never go back to it. It is just not the same.

Let’s look it in this way. If you are into football, would you be satisfied to see the result announcement of the match alone, or would you want to watch the full match? As for myself, I love playing video game for the sake of the storyline, but I still want to play even if I can simply go to Youtube and check a 3-minute video of someone summarizing it.

“Books are the training weights of the mind.” — Epictetus

Summary is not the same with an actual book. If you are fine with being shallow in intellectual muscle, then go for it.

Myth 2: I Can Ask My Friend Who Read

I said this often myself. But guess what? If I did not even bother investing time in reading, why would I bother investing time with someone who read?

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

If you do not read, chances are that you are spending most of your time with the people who do not read as well.

I read a lot in the past two years, and a lot of my friends know it. But guess how many times someone approached me last year to request a summary or highlights of a book? Not any I can remember.

Myth 3: I Do Not Have Time

When we look at people who read 52 books a year (or, 1 per week), we are like “Wow, how can you do that?”. Actually, it is not hard.

If I had to print all the pages I read on social media and print it out as books, that would be a very huge pile. I am pretty sure that it was more than 52 books.

We all read, somehow. It is just a matter of whether we are reading something useful for our lives. Think about it, two hours are the average amount of time spent on social media alone.

If you are reading at an average speed (200 words per minute), you could finish a book in 5 hours. That means you only have to read about 40 minutes a day to be able to finish a book per week. All you need to do is to cut the time reading crappy stuffs on the internet.

“How long are you going to wait until you demand the best for yourself” — Epictetus

Reading is a timeless method for our personal growth, and it is what we all have known and learned since the early days in our lives. Oddly enough, as soon as we learn how to read in school, most of us forget why we read — the sole purpose is only to pass the exam. We can read any words, but do not have any reasons to read.

A book is sacred. It gives more life to our years, and more years to our lives.

“Reading is an honor and a gift, from a warrior or a historian who — a decade or a thousand decades ago — set aside time to write. If you haven’t read hundreds of books, you’re functionally illiterate.” — James Mattis

When the rain pours down, we cannot do anything for it to stop. But instead, we can choose to either find some covers or just dance in the rain. We are in control in our choices.

There is a famous verse from the Serenity Prayer as quoted:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

George Raveling, who stood by Martin Luther King while he was making “I have a dream” speech and was the coach of Michael Jordan, shared his wisdom on what are the 23 life choices that are under control, which I believe to be very powerful:

1. Be YOU, not them.
2. Do more, expect less.
3. Be positive, not negative.
4. Be the solution, not the problem.
5. Be a starter, not a stopper.
6. Question more, believe less.
7. Be a somebody, never a nobody.
8. Love more, hate less.
9. Give more, take less.
10. See more, look less.
11. Save more, spend less.
12. Listen more, talk less.
13. Walk more, sit less.
14. Read more, watch less.
15. Build more, destroy less.
16. Praise more, criticize less.
17. Clean more, dirty less.
18. Live more, do not just exist.
19. Be the answer, not the question.
20. Be a lover, not a hater.
21. Be a painkiller, not a pain giver.
22. Think more, react less.
23. Be more uncommon, less common.

Wanted or unwanted, things would happen as the way it should be. No matter how challenging external circumstances are in front of us, we are 100% in control of our decisions, reactions, and responses.

Surviving four concentration camps during the Holocaust, Victor Frankl said the following:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Our power is the ability to make choices. If we learn how to use it right, not only that our life becomes happier, we become unshakable.

However, not so long after, I could not help but feeling overwhelmed by endless flow of information. It is like attending a buffet prepared by your grandma — not only you can eat as much as you want, but you have to keep eating even if you’re full.

In some ways, the unwanted information affected my mood, and the notifications disrupted my workflow. If I let it be like this, I could be at work for 8 hours and do not get anything done but watching 80 Instagram stories, reading 50 Facebook posts, and reply to 200 messages.

Going back to the old days with no smart phone and internet then? No way. Even so, there’s still something that we can do — by using them more consciously and intentionally.

These are some quick hacks that I applied in the past years which helped me a lot in reclaiming back my focus and productivity, and they only take a few minutes (or even seconds) to just set it up.

1. “Do not disturb” as a Default

When sight is not enough, there’s the sound telling us to check our phones when we are not even looking. I can’t be the only person who hate notification’s sounds, whether it’s my phone or the one sit next to me. It is just so disturbing.

Based on a study, when we get interrupted, it takes us about 23 minutes on average to fully get back to the previous task.

It’s not that we have little time, but more that we waste a good deal of it. — Seneca

“Oh hey, Samantha just posted a cat picture, and I’m just going to look at it for just 2 seconds.” First, it might not be just 2 seconds. Second, it will cost you way more than that.

What can we do around this? In case you do not know, there’s this button called “Do not disturb”. It takes only about 2 seconds to turn it on, and you get save a whole bunch of time having to react to notification’s sound and vibration. I love this function so much that I wish it exists in real life so when I press, everyone stops talking.

A lot of us are already using it at work. However, even better, use it as a default. Even outside of work, we need our mental capacity to stay sharp, be present and pay attention to the people and the tasks in front of us.

2. Deactivate Unimportant Notifications

It is just too much to have like 20 applications sending you a whole bunch of notifications. It’s from someone just hits the Like button on your post, to a reminder to collect your coins in your fishing game. Just so you know, some of these are App developers’ strategy to make you hooked and use more and more.

Now let’s ask ourselves: Are all these important and urgent? Must we be notified by any of those at all? How much can our life be affected if we do not have some of these notifications?

The constant alarms make us numb to real urgency. — Hans Rosling

Notification is useful, but let’s use it for more alarming things. It’s because there are too many notifications, we do not know what should be the first thing to look at anymore.

The idea here is to start deactivating notification for some of the applications you are using. Scan through all of them one by one, and ask yourself this question “Am I willing to pay money every time I receive this notification?”. Do it based on Derek Sivers’ rule, “If it’s not hell yeah, it’s hell no.”

3. Blocked For A Period of Time

No sound and vibration, and less notifications. What more can we do here? Let’s block it for some time during our day.

I found this application called AppBlock to be very useful (you can also find something very similar out there). It can be used for either setting a time restriction of how long you can use each application a day, or set up a duration that you cannot use or not receiving any notification.

One of the setting I made was to block any incoming notification between 9PM and 8AM even for Slack and Whatsapp messages, and Email.

The idea is to ground myself to be more ready to sleep by reducing dopamine production, and enjoy the first few hours after I wake up being fully myself.

Win the morning, win the day. — Old Saying

There are more important things than checking Facebook or Email right after we rise. The first hour of the day sets the tone of the rest of the day, so we ought to do things that serve us better, like making the bed, journaling, exercising, meditating and on.

With our smartphone with a size of our pocket, it is not a surprise that it reaches our hand without us knowing. It is not only how long we use in total, but also how many times we use it that affect our efficiency.

If it matters enough, let’s make a choice to take control of our time and make our relationship with our devices healthier.

1. Expect That There Are Bad People Out There

First, we need to have our expectation clear. It is naive to imagine the world has no bad people at all. This is planet Earth, not a paradise. For real, there are plenty of them out there — those who want to take advantage of us or those who would cause us pain and misery.

If we bump into one or two of those today at work or on the street today, why bother ourselves being surprised or stressed about it at all?

Marcus Aurelius, during his time as an emperor of Rome, being surrounded by some of the most self-deluded and self-serving individuals, has this approach of meditating at the beginning of the day to visualize himself encountering the worst of mankind during that day as quote below:

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own — not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”

This visualization makes us more prepared and allows us to show more acceptance since the beginning. We can become less reactive even people give us their worst, and we are able to show acceptance towards them regardless. Just as Socrates put it, “No one does wrong willingly”.

2. Help It, Endure It, Or Leave It

Have you ever stood in front of someone in the train who casually coughs with his mouth open? Have you ever been near to someone sweaty and smelly? Probably in one way or other way, when it happens, we judge and becomes mad to this person, and wish this person to realize it themselves.

However, that’s not a good approach for this. This is what Marcus would say:

“Don’t be irritated by people’s smell or bad breath. What’s the point? With that mouth, with those armpits, they’re going to produce that odor.
But they have a brain! Can’t they figure it out? Can’t they recognize the problem?
So you have a brain as well. Good for you. Then use your logic to awaken his. Show him. Make him realize it. If he’ll listen, then you’ll have solved the problem. Without anger.”

This is simpler than we think it is. All we need to do is to tell this person to use his hand to cover when he coughs. Not only it solves your problem disgusting at him, but also helps him to realize that and improves him to be better. That’s exactly the choice we can make.

What if we are not willing to do it, or this person doesn’t listen? There are two ways we can go around this. Leave it. Walk away. If you cannot, then just endure. Suck it. Don’t complain.

3. Be You, Not Them

There could be moments where we hate somebody and we shower hatred towards them only to realize that we have become an even worse humanbeing than the person who caused us such anger. An eye for an eye has a huge cost for it.

In such situation, Marcus would respond to it this way:

“The best revenge is to not be like your enemy”

If we reactively respond anger or emotional distresses to the bully, it’s them who wins. They bully us because they want to see such outcome of us destroying ourselves, and giving them more reasons to cause us more pain.

Don’t give them what they want, and don’t be like them. When they’re unkind, show them kindness. When they’re arrogant, show them humility. When they’re dishonest, show them honesty. Always embrace our own values, and learn to be unshaken by those around us.

We may bump into toxic people every now and then, but just remember that not only we can defend ourselves from them but also show them the light if they are willing to listen. If not, just endure or ignore them.

What is it exactly?
“Commonplace” came from a Latin word “locus communis”, which means common topic. Basically, it’s a collection or inventory of ideas, inspirations, stories, information and quotes that you encounter each day through reading, observation, and experience based on the topic of your interests.

It can be in a form of notebooks, or in containers or boxes where you write your notes in a piece of paper and insert it in.

I found this strategy around 3 months ago, and started to create my own. Instead of doing in the forms mentioned above, I tried it digitally through Evernote. Combining it tagging functionality, it works as calm! Since then, I was not that super active with it, I managed to write down 230 notes.

Not as the bank of relevant information, it serves as a powerful reference engine. It helps me deal with the limbo of “Emm, I remember reading about this somewhere”, “What was my favorite quote from this author?”, or “What’s data that was mentioned in this book?” by hitting the search button, or just go directly to its allocated topic without having to re-read everything again.

When you write, prepare for your speech, or create content, reference is always useful and saves you time.

How to create your own?

1. Define the means.
What are you going to use? A notebook? A box? Digital note? Just anything that works for you.

2. Define the topics you want to pursue.
What are you passionate about? If you can learn just anything, what is it about? I had mine various from Amor Fati, Stillness, Character, Health and more. You don’t have to come up a lot with it, because you can always add later if there are topics that you find interested later.

3. Just write it in, before it slips off from your memory.
Our days are busy with tasks, priorities, and information. Make the Commonplace Book reachable for you at any time. Write it down immediately if you find anything inspiring or relevant to what you see.

4. Once in awhile, go back to it and review.
You can do it every few months, or weeks. It’s up to you to define. It’s always good to read through what you wrote. It can help you retain as well.

The camera is just perfect to capture moments. Like before you eat, you want to take a good photo of the food because once you dig in, it’ll never look the same. There are times where people won’t eat unless they take good photos of it.

Same to what comes to your mind. You would want a Commonplace Book to capture those ideas and inspirations before they fade off. You would also want to put it down somewhere so that you can lighten the load of your brain to focus on the next big thing in life.

It’s just like Ryder Carroll said, “Externalize your thoughts by decluttering your mind.” This strategy can serve as the safest place for you to bank it up in the most organized manner.

In my childhood, like many typical Cambodians in my generation, I never got to have a bed or even a mattress. A straw mat — that was all I had to lay down on.

Even though that’s not something new, it’s very uncomfortable. In those 4 days, I wrapped myself like a sushi with my blanket on the ground. The nights were pretty rough as I woke up almost every 30 or 60 minutes. Then, got up to work with some pains over my body. Not to make the matter worse, I had a slight fever and headache those days as well.

There I got to realize two things:

1. Comfort Screwed Me Up

That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it. I do! And, I love it! However, once a while, it’s always good to experience unnecessary sufferings, so when it happens, not only that I am prepared for it but also unshaken by it.

I never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I might lose my job. I might lose all my belongings and money. Or, I might even lose parts of my body. These are not within my control. What’s in my control is to practice resiliency towards discomforts.

Seneca beautfully wrote this: “Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.”

As our lives are getting more and more comfortable, do not let comfort itself soften, weaken and slow us down.

2. I’ve Got Nothing To Complain

After moving to Malaysia, I used to think that my room was not as big as the one I had at home. The bed was not as soft as I want it to be. However, last night was one of the best sleep I had when I finally got back to my bed. I cherish it and appreciate it more than ever.

Wanting and needing are not the same thing, and usually we mix them up. Clearly, there’s no dept in our desire if we let it run wild and out of control. If we do not take control of our desire, it takes control of us.

Let me borrow another line from Seneca for this. Here he said, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. ”

Appreciate every little things that we have right now at this moment. Our happiness doesn’t have to be tied with the new iPhone that we have not got our hands on yet.